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Perplexed_pat Archive

View 1 post and 31 comments by Perplexed_pat on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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Upvotes Title Category Author Subreddit Date (UTC)
5

Perplexed_pat/r/Divorce_Men14/02/23 08:22 PM
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
2

Don’t leave! I get it man, you’re going through what will be one of the roughest patches of your life. The pain of divorce is brutal, but it can be an opportunity to grow as an individual. I know it seems corny, but seek out inspiration and knowledge. Read books and listen to positive stories, ignore the negative stories from people who’ve let divorce ruin their lives. You don’t have to let it break you; you’ve raised a family, you do hard shit all the time! You don’t have to lose everything. Th…
/r/Divorce_Men21/11/23 04:03 PM
0

Some are super loving, pretty, sensual, and charming in order to manipulate you into giving them all of your time, money, and attention without overtly being an asshole. When they don’t get it they become anxious, clingy and super needy. I’ve tried your flavor and the one I mentioned. In the end it’s all la croix and bubbly, choose your flavor, I have yet to find a Coca Cola. But really, it’s about defining your values and boundaries and learning to enforce. Think with your body sensation beyond…
/r/Divorce_Men14/06/23 04:27 PM
2

Good job!
/r/Divorce_Men12/06/23 05:23 PM
5

I was in a similar situation, but it was easier for me because my wife wouldn’t stop cheating randomly. What was similar is the family part. As a fostered child I never had a real family. From the age of 18 her family was my family. They were kind and supportive, shit I had only had a hug from friends before I met them. They showed me how to love and I used my father in law as a role model to love his daughter. The strange thing is that I didn’t know that my in-laws had a toxic dynamic. He simpe…
/r/Divorce_Men05/05/23 12:53 AM
3

Exactly the same. She stayed at home, we had 2 kids, I got the kids and the house. I can tell you this, I felt the same as you do now. Stick it out, stay away from her. It gets way fucking better! When I see her now, I don’t know what I saw in her. We can’t keep filling our voids with shitty people. Do the you work and you’ll be much better off. Don’t just stay away from her, stay away from all women until you do the work
/r/Divorce_Men27/04/23 08:23 PM
2

I’ve been in therapy since 2016 on/off. Found a trauma informed therapist 2 years ago. I have complex ptsd from childhood. I had that lonely feeling too and married again in 2020, big mistake for me and the kids. Going through divorce now and I can thank my therapist for that. She helped me see things clearly. I was in a similar situation with my first wife, I got the kids and the house because she was so fucked up. She cheated many times and treated me like garbage. She had admitted a personali…
/r/Divorce_Men27/04/23 07:00 PM
4

Same, dated each other for a year after separation and not living together, having sex multiple times per week. The sex and adventure was strong. Emotionally, she was still 8 years old. Ultimately the drama wasn’t worth it for me.
/r/Divorce_Men22/04/23 08:17 PM
12

She’s already done her research and wants to latch on and manipulate while you’re still freshly wounded. Hold off would be my advice. I was 6 months after finalizing and got trapped by a friend of a friend who is gorgeous and had similar interests, actually she listened well while we dated and pretended to be everything I’d want her to be. ….. you guessed it, I’m going through divorce again😊
/r/Divorce_Men22/04/23 06:58 PM
1

“Working girl” how do you find that? Seems nearly impossible
/r/Divorce_Men17/04/23 12:04 AM
1

I’d say my first marriage had a lot of the emasculating stuff. It was probably the root cause of my second divorce as well. I was hip to the bullshit and wouldn’t submit. In turn she’d become an emotionally anxious mess and would become controlling and unstable. I’m too old to regulate the emotions of any adult outside of myself. I’m trying to fix me, I’m not going to fix anyone else
/r/Divorce_Men07/04/23 04:00 PM
1

Truth! 💯
/r/Divorce_Men07/04/23 03:05 PM
1

That sounds like a lot of fun, enjoy it…. Be careful I found something similar after my first divorce. She was hot, super sensual, so into me, and romantic. I had the best time of my life for those first few months. Eventually the mask slipped, by that time we were married. I’m going through another divorce. Moved fast, physically and emotionally. She had the same story about the abusive drunk ex. I wrote a song about it. Check it out Borderline (pazzo d’amore)
/r/Divorce_Men07/04/23 03:01 PM
1

I initiated both. First wife cheated and wanted an “open relationship” I actually caved to that demand, but realized that she just wanted loads of attention while I paid all of the bills. Called off the open relationship, caught her cheating again, filed divorce. I stayed so long because of my own childhood wounds and people pleasing that came from it. Been in therapy since 2016, EMDR and a good trauma therapist have helped a lot. Also psilocybin in micro doses. Second wife was loyal to the core…
/r/Divorce_Men06/04/23 09:20 PM
7

I’d find a way to get a lawyer unless you can get her to agree to taking on half the debt. I couldn’t remove my first wife from the bank account without her signing paperwork. Might be easier to drain the accounts and open a new bank account somewhere else. Best to do asap before she does it. She sounds like my first wife. Goddamn, what is happening in the world? My friend is going through this same shit and I see similar stories all over Reddit. He keeps going back and forth, she cheats and he …
/r/Divorce_Men02/04/23 11:48 PM
1

I’ve done that two ways. When things got ugly with my second wife I’d open the voice record app when she was around. That was probably left over paranoia from my first marriage, but she could be a bit unstable and I didn’t want to take the chance. My first wife was a homemaker and serial cheater, so she was home all day and I caught her cheating several times. I hid an iPhone inside of an old radio that I had, and if I remember correctly the app I used was voice activated. That was a mental time…
/r/Divorce_Men02/04/23 04:44 PM
1

Mine tried the manipulation route, as she does with almost every word and crying fit. We separated a year ago. Her apartment lease was coming up March 1st and she wanted to come home. I told her that my kids and I weren’t ready(it was mostly her not showing improvement). Next time I saw her she told me all of the ways that I’d wronged her and how awful I was (why would she want to be with me, right?). She cried a lot and told me that she was going to move across country if she couldn’t move back…
/r/Divorce_Men26/03/23 12:15 AM
3

Where I live there are these new gas stations called kum & go, it really made me think 🤔 Now I know what kind of relationship I can handle.
/r/Divorce_Men25/03/23 07:58 PM
1

You said so little, but so much. Comparability is what it’s about, regardless of flaws or strengths
/r/Divorce_Men22/03/23 03:56 PM
1

Yup, stay cool😎
/r/Divorce_Men19/03/23 09:16 PM
1

Get a lawyer. I believe here in Michigan you can file mental duress with the court if she is openly cheating or seeing someone else before the divorce is final. If granted she’d have to leave. I started holding my first wife accountable with parenting and bills, so she moved out on her own. She wanted a bunch of cake(dicks) and she wanted to eat it too(my money). I stopped being a simp, told her she was a shitty person and stopped catering so she didn’t have time to go on dates with strangers. F…
/r/Divorce_Men19/03/23 09:14 PM
1

🙏
/r/Divorce_Men12/03/23 02:57 PM
3

That’s where I’m at with it. Separated from my wife a year ago. She got on tinder 3 days after. My friend hit me up, “bro, I saw your wife of tinder, wtf?” I immediately started texting her, never her fault. She said, “my therapist told me it’d be a good idea, so I could get validation”. 😂bs Fucked up thing is that it made me so jealous that we got back together, but I filed divorce last month and I’m not turning back. She never cheated, but I can’t deal with her overly dramatic emotional outbur…
/r/Divorce_Men12/03/23 02:55 PM
6

This is a hard one. I was married to an emotionally unavailable person from 18-36. She treated me like she hated me, cheated, never worked. It was fucking awful. Divorced her, in comes another. Like what you have now. Constantly telling me she loved me, wanting to spend all her time with me. Absolutely gorgeous too. I thought it was a dream come true. But, after settling in and getting married it went south fast. She was very easily triggered if I wasn’t meeting her demands and so on. A lot of m…
/r/Divorce_Men26/02/23 02:03 AM
2

Same with my second wife. Some people are only with us for a season. I learned that marriage isn’t for me.
/r/Divorce_Men25/02/23 04:40 PM
6

My life has improved dramatically. I travel, fully engage with my kids, my hobbies and my career. I earn double what I did at the time of my divorce(2018). I had 80% custody the first 3 years and now have 50/50. Once we get to know ourselves again we look forward to that week alone and then look forward to seeing the kids. It balances out well. I only lost her in the divorce, I kept the house and didn’t have to pay alimony. I don’t know your back story. My ex wife has mental illness. Life with h…
/r/Divorce_Men25/02/23 04:35 PM
4

My feelings exactly! It takes a bit of time to have a rational understanding, but when it comes…. Hang in there guys, it gets way better!
/r/Divorce_Men25/02/23 03:53 AM
3

Liberation!
/r/Divorce_Men25/02/23 03:49 AM
11

Hey man, it sucks. You’re gonna have to grieve and rage is part of it. No advice will stick at this point. But, we’re here for you and will listen to the rage. I came to look at it like a game. If I’m hurting, she’s winning. If I’m winning she’s hurting, because she sees what she threw away wasn’t trash at all. It gets better. I had 80% parenting time when we divorced, I focused on the kids and my career. Since then, 2018, I’ve become a better father and my salary has doubled. I never got to emb…
/r/Divorce_Men22/02/23 11:59 PM
1

No lawyers involved. It’s been amicable.
/r/Divorce_Men14/02/23 09:22 PM
1

I had read online that in some states you have a year to avoid re-filing when dismissal is without prejudice. I was hoping that was the case for Michigan.
/r/Divorce_Men14/02/23 08:44 PM
1

Thanks for the reply. It was a brief marriage, so we fortunately don’t have to deal with the splitting of material things or debts.
/r/Divorce_Men14/02/23 08:42 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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