TheRedArchive

~ archived since 2018 ~

Personal_Signal_6151 Archive

View 1 posts and 112 comments by Personal_Signal_6151 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
Search in:
In subreddits:
More
Filter by year/month:
Upvotes Title Category Author Subreddit Date (UTC)
25

LawyersPersonal_Signal_6151/r/Divorce_Men17/05/25 01:03 PM
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
4

Have you tried marriage counseling? Does she need anger management as well as a physical from her doctor?
/r/Divorce_Men12/10/25 11:32 PM
5

OP, please read the comments above. Talk to your lawyer. Be careful
/r/Divorce_Men06/10/25 08:14 PM
2

The state does not want any more people collecting welfare so keep this info between you and your lawyer. Having a PI makes sense. If she loses alimony and her AP dumps her, she could be on welfare next. Have your lawyer present it to the judge as the case goes through the steps. Your lawyer is in charge of strategy. People who lie might, just might, figure out a way to fraudulently conceal their misdeeds. Just sayin' So, follow your lawyer's advice on "playing your cards close to your chest."
/r/Divorce_Men06/10/25 08:12 PM
2

See Form I-864 under section 213A of the INA. The green card sponsor of an immigrant signs an affidavit of support guaranteeing support of 125 percent of the Federal poverty guidelines until the applicant becomes a US citizen or has 40 social security credits (usually 10 years). This is to prevent the applicant from becoming a public charge. I understand that the obligation of a sponsoring spouse continues regardless of the reason the marriage fails. Check with your immigration attorney as laws …
/r/Divorce_Men06/10/25 05:59 PM
3

FL is equitable distribution with a systematic analysis for real estate division. Please talk to both a divorce lawyer and an immigration lawyer.
/r/Divorce_Men04/10/25 11:53 AM
7

Did you sign an affidavit of support when you sponsored her? Talk to an immigration lawyer about this. It could result in ten years of support.
/r/Divorce_Men04/10/25 11:51 AM
1

Depends on jurisdiction for professional training requirements. TN must be attorney. Fla has a course so non attorneys may qualify.
/r/Divorce_Men17/09/25 09:02 PM
6

Please talk to a lawyer who specializes in family law. That type of lawyer has tax knowledge etc.
/r/Divorce_Men12/09/25 01:32 PM
4

Unless she bought it prior to marriage and zero money of his has gone into it. However, any increase in value over the past five years is marital property and could be divided as part of the divorce settlement. Example. When married, house was worth $500,000. Now it is worth $600,000. The increase in value is $100,000. He could claim half of that or $50,000. She could get a cash out loan to pay him off.
/r/Divorce_Men12/09/25 01:30 PM
5

Google your state code on all the factors judges are supposed to weigh as they consider the best interest of the child. In my state, the code states "all relevant factors " and goes on to list 16 factors with explanations. TN Code Section 36-6-106 (2024) (a). You already have a great start on listing why you fulfill these IN CONTRAST to why your ex does not. To prepare for a meeting with your lawyer, systematically go through your state code writing out your situation mirroring the code. This ca…
/r/Divorce_Men24/08/25 01:54 PM
1

Sorry that happened.
/r/Divorce_Men11/08/25 04:58 PM
1

Please reconsider involving your kid in these discussions. It can be awful for him even if he does not show it.
/r/Divorce_Men10/08/25 11:55 PM
1

When most people imagine alternate weeks, they zero in on something like: Week one is MWF week with Mom and Week two is T, Th with Mom. Reverse for Dad. Unless you both live nearby and, ideally, within same school district, this can make it hard for the child to have a standing weekly music lesson, medical treatment. etc. School district being the same enables use of school bus. You need to give some thought to logistics and plan around the child's schedule. Think through all the packing and unp…
/r/Divorce_Men02/07/25 01:35 PM
1

Alternating days by week might mess up after school activities and child care arrangements. Family Wizard is a helpful app.
/r/Divorce_Men02/07/25 12:34 PM
1

Excellent advice.
/r/Divorce_Men29/06/25 02:37 AM
1

Did she sign an affidavit of support when sponsoring you?
/r/Divorce_Men28/06/25 10:21 PM
1

Excellent. You have both the talent for language and the motivation. In general, when one divorcing partner says "no lawyers," they are saying that because they know that your having a lawyer will benefit you. She sounds selfish so this could get nasty. Since there are assets, a lawyer could be paid out of marital assets. Some lawyers will work with this while others want cash. A large firm may be able to help you this way in contrast to a smaller one that needs more immediate cash flow to pay t…
/r/Divorce_Men28/06/25 10:19 PM
2

ChatGPT is over rated. It is tempting to use it for the basics but is can actually make up stuff that sound right and had no basis in fact. There are many groups who can help you with your English skills. Please contact your local public library. Most staff there are patient and will not be insulting nor use profanity to dismiss you. Many public libraries are fantastic with connecting people with resources. Start at the main desk. You will likely be told to talk to a reference librarian.
/r/Divorce_Men28/06/25 10:14 PM
1

Additionally, the need to stay in the family home can vary by jurisdiction and circumstances. Again, get your own family law attorney as well as your own immigration attorney.
/r/Divorce_Men28/06/25 10:10 PM
2

The info above is generally sound. If you are using ChatGPT, it can be unreliable. Divorcenet.com and Nolo.com are reliable sources but get a lawyer. Lawyers can handle the nuances. The other resources are very basic. I would like to add that your lawyer should look into using Violence Against Women law to keep immigrants from being mistreated. Can be used to protect male immigrants as well.
/r/Divorce_Men28/06/25 10:07 PM
2

In some jurisdictions, recording and/or court reporters are not automatically provided. Where I live, people have to arrange and to pay for their own court reporter for family court. Makes me wonder about how accurate a transcript is if the court reporter is being paid for by one of the parties???? Best to ask the clerk of the court ahead of time to find out.
/r/Divorce_Men21/06/25 08:32 PM
2

There is an old saying with three parts. The lies are part of part three. If the law is on your side. pound the law. If the facts are on your side, pound the facts. If you have neither, pound the table. The lying was part of the theatrics of "pound the table" by trying to provoke you. If you lose your cool, or worse yet, your temper, then they move into "he is such a monster mode." Hard as it is, practice not being emotionally available. This helps you detach from the circus of family court. Als…
/r/Divorce_Men21/06/25 07:45 PM
3

The cause of action called "alienation of affection" is pretty much dead. Off the books in most jurisdictions. This allows the lover to be sued for essentially being a home wrecker.
/r/Divorce_Men21/06/25 07:35 PM
2

One lawyer told me all those liars are giving the gift of destroying their own credibility. The liars still have the burden of proof. If no genuine evidence proving their allegations is presented, then the judge knows they lied. I guess your "hearing officer" was not a lawyer who properly learned evidence and properly applied the rules. Of course, there are biased judges. Often they favor the mother, or the father, or people who vote in the judge's district or the one who pays for the ritzy priv…
/r/Divorce_Men21/06/25 07:33 PM
3

See if you can get these directly from the doctors offices and other service providers like music teachers. Dealt with parents padding expenses or even sending bills for their other kids from their other partners. One client made the mistake of giving his ex a credit card for such expenses. She started charging the other kids' school meal plans and extra curriculars to it. Nip this in the bud by paying for all of these directly to the provider. Also, kids drop out of activities but some ex spous…
/r/Divorce_Men20/06/25 04:32 PM
2

Some schools have portals that parents can access to obtain homework assignments, grades, etc. Call your children's school to get put on it.
/r/Divorce_Men20/06/25 04:21 PM
2

Couldn't hurt.
/r/Divorce_Men20/06/25 04:19 PM
3

Can you bring in your own court reporter or at least record the hearing? Always ask permission.
/r/Divorce_Men20/06/25 04:18 PM
1

good to know
/r/Divorce_Men19/06/25 02:40 PM
2

Also think ahead to when they go to university. A financial aid firm called the FAFSA is filed. Check with your financial advisor to see if the standard advice still applies to your case. Generally the parent with the lower income is used for this purpose to help maximize the financial aid package. A great deal if money and debt can be involved so worth having expert advice.
/r/Divorce_Men18/06/25 09:56 PM
1

Thanks so much. Divorce is a reality and I just want people to smoothly get through the process while being their best self. At times, it can be tempting to be vengeful, but focus on how you want your kids to remember how you handled things. It does not mean you have to compromise to your detriment, but you can show wisdom and model maturity. I recommend a therapist to help you unpack your past. Divorce coaches help people move forward to make the best of their futures. Right now, I am in the Na…
/r/Divorce_Men18/06/25 05:59 PM
20

I am a family mediator and a certified divorce coach so have some knowhow here. Loads of parents coparent with varying work schedules. This can be handled successfully. Here are some practical considerations: Get an experienced family law attorney ASAP Go to Divorcenet and Nolo for plain language info so you know the lay of the land. A certified divorce coach can provide education about the process (but NOT legal advice). This helps you optimize your time with your lawyer. View it as diligent pr…
/r/Divorce_Men16/06/25 06:32 PM
4

A friend was stuck with horrendous alimony. He wanted to pay someone to marry his ex just so he could terminate the alimony. He would probably not only shake the next guy's hand but also kiss his feet
/r/Divorce_Men15/06/25 11:21 PM
2

Years ago, a very picky college professor of mine taught us "People respond rather than react because they should be thinking about their response. In contrast, chemicals react." Turned out to be good advice.
/r/Divorce_Men15/06/25 11:19 PM
8

Grey rocking and detachment helped me immensely. After I realized I did not actually know this person's true personality, it was easy to go on as if I never knew him. For my son's sake, I mix in respect for visit dates but in the same way I scheduled for school field trips. Going somewhere that has a person I do not know nor want to meet.
/r/Divorce_Men07/06/25 01:50 PM
3

Absolutely get a lawyer with experience fighting false accusations.
/r/Divorce_Men04/06/25 12:48 PM
17

Even the most understandable suicide leaves the family in shambles. Example. My neighbor was a Viet Nam vet who lost his leg. The stump got a weird fungal infection that even the best tropical disease doctors could not cure. It burned horribly all the time. He decided that once his youngest kid graduated HS, he would kill himself to end his terrible suffering. He told his wife who was stoically understanding. The youngest, age 18 and the next youngest, age 20, were so shattered they wound up her…
/r/Divorce_Men02/06/25 04:48 AM
1

See if the child support office has a way to modify without hiring a lawyer. If she has not updated her income, she could be in violation. Likewise, if you need to update (increase or decrease) make sure you are in compliance. Some stares can take tax refunds to fund child support as well. Research her cohabiting. His income may or may not make a difference to child support and/or alimony but check it out. Google it as a question along with where you live. Call CPS about the kids burns and playi…
/r/Divorce_Men27/05/25 02:52 PM
3

Apply to the family court/child support office for a modification She could be breaking a rule by not reporting her higher income now.
/r/Divorce_Men24/05/25 12:44 PM
1

There are financial professionals who specialize is figuring out divorce settlements
/r/Divorce_Men22/05/25 11:45 AM
1

I think part of "father of the year" is choosing activities that build a verifiable track record of involvement and parental care in your child's life. If you are the one at the doctor's, it shows you are not negligent. If you coach an activity, you are on the schedule and other parents observe you bring a good human . Compare this to important but private things like cooking together at home. Worthwhile but the lack of witnesses makes it less valuable in court. I have dealt with parents who wil…
/r/Divorce_Men19/05/25 08:27 PM
1

There are agencies that do safe child exchange where the kids are there for 15 minutes. The dropping parent leaves them at the agency and drives off. Fifteen minutes later, the receiving parent collects the children. The parents never see each other. Some police stations will do this. Some friends and relatives will help with this but get tired of it quickly especially if there is anger, awkwardness, etc.
/r/Divorce_Men18/05/25 11:26 PM
1

Not paying child support can be a trap to weaponize that against you. She now can truthfully say that you never paid a penny in child support while leaving out the context. Makes kids feel abandoned and worthless.
/r/Divorce_Men17/05/25 01:05 PM
1

I wear Hoka shoes to family court to be more agile and swift.
/r/Divorce_Men09/05/25 12:51 PM
0

Has she had a medical checkup?
/r/Divorce_Men28/04/25 02:47 PM
6

She might just be tired out. Give this a shot. Might work; might not. Probably cheaper than a divorce. See if getting some household help for her plus quality nursery school for the toddler helps. Not daycare because of all the germs. Thinking Montessori which is fantastic for preschoolers. Have one date night a week for just the two of you Ask her if she would do couples therapy. Get her to have a full comprehensive physical. Could be anemia or something. Many people expect the stay at home par…
/r/Divorce_Men27/04/25 03:28 PM
3

Somehow people categorize marriages versus live-in lovers differently. If a marriage fails, loads of blame. If a live-in leaves, no problem. All of these situations are complex. Generalizing is not productive.
/r/Divorce_Men24/04/25 06:49 PM
2

Very true
/r/Divorce_Men24/04/25 03:09 PM
3

I agree. Term is thrown around constantly with no basis. It is rare. Knew a couple where the psychologist diagnosed one of them during marriage counseling. That spouse stopped going and left the other for AP. That is why when someone tells you that "my ex was a narcissist" ask if this was actually a proper diagnose from a mental health professional. In my work in family law, I have encountered several bona fide ones. The lawyer I worked with kept a DSM in her office to help us understand medical…
/r/Divorce_Men24/04/25 01:51 PM
-1

Not necessarily true. If the ex had a proper clinical diagnosis of Narcissism, then the label is correct. If not, then iffy talk show trendy rubbish. Prevalence in the general population could be as high as 10 per cent but too many people throw this term around. BTW, there is a great book called "How to divorce a narcissist" which is very insightful. Was "gaining assets" getting a rightful share of marital assets or a bonanza? Many people begrudge their ex spouses thinking the ex spouses are onl…
/r/Divorce_Men24/04/25 12:15 PM
1

Petition the court for a modification to the parenting plan
/r/Divorce_Men03/04/25 05:13 PM
3

Does your parenting plan address religious education?
/r/Divorce_Men29/03/25 05:54 PM
2

Once I got a dishwasher, the number of head colds and tummy wobbles dropped in my household. This was with the rolling one.
/r/Divorce_Men17/03/25 01:01 PM
1

and get the evidence
/r/Divorce_Men06/03/25 10:02 PM
1

Excellent advice. Some lawyers never refer anybody to anyone because they got burned by being liable for another lawyer's mistake. If you run into that, just talk to a fourth lawyer. You could file for a modification to the order you have now.
/r/Divorce_Men06/03/25 02:47 PM
4

One thing that is not well known is that the quitclaim that gives her the house is not the same as refinancing. The lender still wants to keep you on the hook for the debt. Refinancing is not always possible so not easy to negotiate. Some people get mortgage or life insurance to benefit the vulnerable person left on the mortgage. If this is any consolation, kids sometimes need the stability of staying in the same house, same school. same neighbors. etc. However. kids might want a fresh start or …
/r/Divorce_Men06/03/25 02:44 PM
1

wow.. just wow
/r/Divorce_Men06/03/25 12:37 AM
1

Interesting if the sahw is raising kids, she could get more alimony than one who has earning power.
/r/Divorce_Men03/03/25 11:05 PM
1

So, turn back the clock when the husband was the sole support of his family. How long is having her without a wage going to make up for her washing the dishes?
/r/Divorce_Men03/03/25 08:21 PM
-4

That is the rock and the hard place.
/r/Divorce_Men03/03/25 08:17 PM
0

Ask what would Bob do? Bob Villa that is.
/r/Divorce_Men03/03/25 07:33 PM
1

Back in the day. husbands were ashamed if their wives had to work outside the home. People viewed the man who could not support his family as a failure as a provider and thus a failure as a husband and in general. BTW. middle class meant affording a staff of three: cook, maid, and laundress I assume you provide the middle class lifestyle with staff and do not live off the wages of your wife?
/r/Divorce_Men03/03/25 07:31 PM
2

You got this
/r/Divorce_Men03/03/25 07:24 PM
-7

One interesting dynamic about anger is how venting can escalate. If wife comments, accurately. that this is the 365 x 10 years time I have asked you to put your glass in the dishwasher and..... just you shrug, then it can escalate into a whole litany of what is wrong. If you just start putting the dirty glass into the dishwasher, you can avoid all that. You can also avoid divorce court. This should be in premartial counseling.
/r/Divorce_Men03/03/25 06:57 PM
0

Yeah but you got to ignore the simple request to put a dirty glass in the dishwasher. Was this a victory?
/r/Divorce_Men03/03/25 06:55 PM
-7

In the past. biology was destiny. No the case anymore. If someone ignore simple requests too often. it is viewed as disrespect and it destroys the relationship Actions have consequences
/r/Divorce_Men03/03/25 06:53 PM
0

There can be a significant improvement in cleanliness.snd reduces breakage. Fewer rewashes needed. However in my household, it also served as training for multiple people to contribute to the overall goal of being liberated from the kitchen chores. I hate cleaning so optimizing reduces time on chores to maximize leisure time. So, once everyone's knows what to do, there is a single placement. Now all of us can just pop a dirty dish in without the necessary rearranging prior to running. It streaml…
/r/Divorce_Men03/03/25 01:46 PM
2

I learned so much in home ec that I use everyday. Girls were not allowed to take shop. We need both back in the schools.for all the students.
/r/Divorce_Men02/03/25 11:58 PM
4

Dishwasher loading can be optimized. Bob Villa has a great dishwasher loading video with explanations of why a dish goes where plus how it is positioned. I bet Bob agrees that butter knives can go either way unless the blade slips through. Another video, I forget by whom, reminds us to run water in the sink until hot before starting the dishwasher. Detergent needs to go into both wells in the compartment. Advocates for using cheapo powder but worth it to spend on rinse aid. My suggestion is to w…
/r/Divorce_Men02/03/25 05:27 PM
0

Yet in the example above has OP paying disproportionately. There has to be other factors, a mistake, or both. Some parents are sneaky. Dealt with a case where ex husband had a credit card for ex wife to send in school expenses and doctors bills. School was clothes, supplies, cafeteria, field trips, sports equipment, and the after school program. Turns out she charged expenses for their shared children AND her children with her new husband to that credit card. Then claimed it was all for school e…
/r/Divorce_Men26/02/25 10:59 PM
2

While that seems intuitive, there are often other factors that get calculated in. The formulas can get tricky. Some states give more to the "primary parent." Health insurance and tax issues affect how the bottom line works out. Also if a parent is supporting other children, that can affect how much money that parent must spend on kids in total. That could upset a parent who feels slighted due to "other kids". If there are extracurricular activities that each parent cares about like music lessons…
/r/Divorce_Men26/02/25 10:03 PM
1

My ex actually shrieked at me to stop "detaching."
/r/Divorce_Men24/02/25 09:48 PM
3

Talk with your lawyer about your supporting her through law school and the HPV. See if it is relevant.
/r/Divorce_Men22/02/25 01:41 PM
4

Ask your lawyer if the kids could meet privately with the judge in chambers (the judge's office) instead of getting on the stand. Some courts allow a therapist to testify as to what the child said.
/r/Divorce_Men21/02/25 10:47 AM
1

Stop delaying getting a lawyer. You have to get your understanding of the law correct. First, you are unlikely to get any time with the kids. They are not yours. You will not have to pay child support because you did not adopt. Second, your lawyer could get info on her getting let go from her job or whatever the situation was. Third, if she keeps her car, she is likely to be stuck with the loan even if both of you signed the refi. Spousal support unlikely due to shortness of marriage. If she too…
/r/Divorce_Men20/02/25 08:48 PM
1

In some states, there is a time period where the court can have an official sign instead. Ask your lawyer.
/r/Divorce_Men20/02/25 08:34 PM
1

Have you tried getting involved in fun activities. You might meet someone new who shares the same interests. Many communities have night classes, music groups, volunteer activities and such.
/r/Divorce_Men20/02/25 08:32 PM
1

Which state do you live in? Have you read the statutes? What does your lawyer say about how the judges think?
/r/Divorce_Men20/02/25 08:26 PM
2

Had to learn to detach and grey rock.
/r/Divorce_Men20/02/25 08:22 PM
2

What an ordeal for you.
/r/Divorce_Men08/02/25 01:56 PM
7

A family law attorney in my city compared family court to the old Drew Cary parody game show called "Whose line is it anyway?" or something like that. The idea is that the rules were made up as they went along. Then he used terms like circus, zoo, and s**t show. I was being prepared to testify so I also asked if I needed to wear a suit. He pointed at my outfit of a plain shirt with cardigan and said to wear that. Turned out I was over dressed. I can see why my city put family court in an entirel…
/r/Divorce_Men07/02/25 01:50 PM
6

A family court judge in my state allegedly said the following to someone who pointed out that her ex was very drunk in court at 10 am! The judge said if she kicked out all the drunks, she would have to reschedule half the hearings. The judge just takes into consideration that this guy is a problem drinker and could not be viewed as credible. In a way, the drunk just ruined his own case. I, too, am worried about the skilled liars. Document everything. Make sure it is legal to record in the jurisd…
/r/Divorce_Men07/02/25 01:16 PM
8

I work in family law adjacent services (divorce coaching, mediation, and supervised visitation.) People want to shape the stories so they are not the bad guy. Even seen really delusional stories with very strong rebutting evidence. My guess is she wants to have a chummy, amicable, co-parenting story so the bf thinks she is wonderful. Who knows what she told him about you, the divorce, etc. When I was with supervised visitation, custodial parents would tell me how their child does not want to vis…
/r/Divorce_Men03/02/25 02:13 PM
7

She may have told her BF about how she is so nice and chill that everything with you is just peachy. Your not talking with them undermines that narrative.
/r/Divorce_Men03/02/25 01:22 PM
2

Can you live in an RV? Just tow your car when you move.
/r/Divorce_Men28/01/25 12:04 AM
6

Thrift shops have loads of decor and kitchen stuff. When you move, donate it back I had a friend who is a professor in a crowded field. Like many others in her position, she needed to take a series of one year jobs. She kept her futon, folding table for a desk, and dresser while thrifting everything else. Then when she moved, it all went back to the thrift shop. Cheap solution. She did this 4 times before getting a permanent job.
/r/Divorce_Men28/01/25 12:03 AM
1

There are certified financial planners who specialize in divorce advice. Ask your bank if they can recommend someone.
/r/Divorce_Men09/11/24 05:00 PM
1

Remember that once you are in your fifties, you can increase your IRA contribution.
/r/Divorce_Men09/11/24 04:56 PM
0

If she tells the son first. it could be quite twisted. I think you should tell the son. possibly involving the friends who told you so there is backup to what you say
/r/Divorce_Men05/11/24 11:06 AM
1

cheaper than another kid
/r/Divorce_Men05/11/24 10:28 AM
1

You need a vasectomy
/r/Divorce_Men04/11/24 11:12 PM
3

Get one of those co-parenting apps and use it sticking only to co-parenting stuff. Arrange for visitation to be somewhere neutral but out in public so there will be witnesses. Perhaps a friend is willing to hangout as an observer in case she tries to pull something. Can the kids play sports and can you go to practices? Grey rock her otherwise. Try to get the legal stuff over.
/r/Divorce_Men04/11/24 08:51 PM
1

or even Obama care
/r/Divorce_Men04/11/24 04:28 PM
1

The case I am referring to was one where he had permission. She simply decided to lie. BTW, the rape kit was negative.
/r/Divorce_Men04/11/24 01:15 PM
2

With regard to daycare. Do you tabulate time with your child as mere daycare or babysitting? It is not"free" as bizarre as this concept is unless you devalue parenting time. Parents need to coordinate and pay for it. Please view it this way If you think you are "babysitting" then.you are discounting yourself as a parent. Will your child then view the time you merely did babysitting as time you did not value with them,? As a parent, you can make a profound impact.
/r/Divorce_Men30/10/24 09:16 PM
11

Know a guy who had the same access to the old place. Ex claimed he broke in and raped her. Three years to get that defeated. Stay out of that place. Arrange to pick up remaining stuff. Always have a witness. Body cam may be helpful if the law allows.
/r/Divorce_Men29/10/24 01:56 AM
4

Seems that you have the financial resources to ask a top law firm to look at your individual case.
/r/Divorce_Men26/10/24 08:47 PM
1

Get yourself a lawyer asap
/r/Divorce_Men19/10/24 09:59 PM
1

If the govt calculator requires info you do not have, Google for a child support calculator for your state. Often divorce attorneys will post a simplified one to help people get started. You can run some scenarios. Always pay through your state child support office. Great evidence. You may wish to pay for extras such as your child taking music lessons or participating in a school activity. Buy the equipment directly. Pay the vendor directly and get a receipt. Dealt too often with the other paren…
/r/Divorce_Men19/10/24 08:45 PM
1

An expensive, experienced lawyer can actually be less expensive than a cheap novice. Think of it as optimizing your legal budget.
/r/Divorce_Men19/10/24 07:29 PM
1

Depends on your state but it matters if it allows her to work. Your state government website should have a child support calculator. These tend to be detailed. Also based on how many overnights the child spends with you. This is what heads on beds refers to. Fifty fifty does not necessarily result in zero child support. Also. a zero payment can be weaponized with the kids. I have heard parents say "we can't afford x because your dad doesn't pay any child support at all." No other details shared.…
/r/Divorce_Men19/10/24 02:26 PM
1

Your state website probably has a calculator. It will be detailed. Many lawyers post simplified ones. Look for alimony as well. You can probably get a couple of years worth to get additional training to earn a better income. Get a lawyer. ASAP Go to Nolo.com and look at the divorce books as well as the Dummies series ones. These are basic supplemental reading for you. NOT a substitute for a lawyer. You can buy cheap used ones from Amazon and Thrift books.com. Or borrow from your library. Divorce…
/r/Divorce_Men17/10/24 07:16 AM
7

Just be accurate with your lawyer. Then your lawyer should talk to her lawyer. A benefit of having a lawyer should be that you do not have to talk to the stbx. Is she allowed to come over? If she needs to visit the dogs, surely this can be done without you? Maybe a friend will meet her at the dog park? Or she pays for doggie daycare where you can drop the dogs and leave before she shows up. Maybe a buffer of 15 or 30 minutes. She plays with the dogs, pays the full fee, leaves, and you can collec…
/r/Divorce_Men17/10/24 01:00 AM
1

Is there a rule of thumb? I guess it requires proof of changed circumstances like a pay cut? How does this work?
/r/Divorce_Men04/10/24 12:25 AM
7

Bankruptcy will not discharge child support and alimony.
/r/Divorce_Men02/10/24 07:53 PM
1

In most jurisdictions, the child can talk to the judge, starting at age 12. The judge is supposed to take the child's thoughts seriously. This is done privately in the judges chambers away from the parents. It goes into about a dozen factors that the judge use to determine the best interests of the child. Technically, the child does not choose. When I live, judges tend to throw their hands up in the air at around age 16 if the child insists and there is no overwhelming factor against it. Source:…
/r/Divorce_Men02/10/24 06:12 PM
1

I think the advice is to make sure nothing makes you vulnerable to criticism. I have seen cases where the other parent tells social workers wild lies about the living conditions. Then they hope for a gotcha moment. Stupidly wild gotchas such as claiming the kids are don't have shoes, aresoaking wet, and begging for food. Got a neighbor to film them crying " I'm hungry" while barefoot and dripping with water. But left out that the kids were splashing in a wading pool and wanting to get a treat fr…
/r/Divorce_Men30/09/24 02:55 PM
10

Get a lawyer. Find out your rights. Get divorce going. Learn what you can do. about selling the house. Separate your finances. This "live here to save money seems weird." Figure out who you can trust. Avoid talking about it at work or with mutual friends. This appears to have been planned by wife for some time. Guard your heart
/r/Divorce_Men29/09/24 08:43 PM
1

Ask the teacher if the child is using other surnames. I was a witness in a case where the child was writing her name on things using the boyfriend's surname. This was not on anything official like a birth certificate, but it helped the judge determine parental alienation. A drawing where the child had written the bf surname as hers, in her own handwriting, was entered into evidence.
/r/Divorce_Men29/09/24 08:35 PM
4

Find out if the daughter is using her correct surname at school. That could even be on her lunchbox.
/r/Divorce_Men28/09/24 01:00 PM
1

Many of the changes probably hurt. Financial drain. Moving Family relationships strained Friendships awkward or friends taking the other side Learned risk aversion. Once burnt twice shy, and for good reasons. Moving forward can be hard especially if there things that remind you of the past. Sending out good, supportive vibes.
/r/Divorce_Men26/09/24 11:20 AM
1

Be careful about the energy of anger. Use it productively. Avoid any outburst that could backfire on you. People can twist things. The old saying, "living well is the best revenge",is so true. Plus you dodged the bullet of her being in your life any longer than she was.
/r/Divorce_Men25/09/24 03:56 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

© TheRedArchive 2026. All rights reserved.
created by /u/dream-hunter