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PiscesPoet Archive

View 0 posts and 291 comments by PiscesPoet on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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So you tell people you don’t find attractive that you find them attractive to sleep with them? What is this “game”?
/r/PurplePillDebate16/06/23 07:27 AM
–

These are good points. But damn, if I’m single then I must have negative traits myself with your theory so wouldn’t those people just date one another. Your perspective seems to be popular because men are always asking me why I’m single if I’m attractive and I seem nice. Like they’re trying to figure out what’s wrong with me. I have an avoidant attachment style but still trying to learn how it may be impacting my relationships
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/23 11:38 PM
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That’s so true. You can’t assume the other person is dating with similar intentions as you. The lines are so blurred, some people are going on dates for relationships, others just want hookups, others want a traditional or liberal relationship…if the only thing we had to worry about was compatibility it’s be a lot easier but before we even get to that point, there’s so much else to consider
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/23 11:35 PM
2

Lol so true. I look at other women for fashion ideas. I’ve actually never followed a guy because of his looks or spent time staring at male models. I don’t see men on social media unless it’s someone I know in real life (classmate, friend etc) I wonder how many women are the same.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/23 11:57 AM
1

Me too. I always wonder how people assume that you’re juggling multiple people. I’ve had guys assume that I was talking to multiple guys just because I took a while to reply to a text. When really it was just work and other social obligations keeping me busy. Even when I met my ex from the first date I literally stopped talking to anyone else because I was into him but also too tired to keep meeting new people. Maintaining multiple romantic relationship becomes a job in itself.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/23 11:11 AM
2

Same experience as woman. Of the guys that actually wanted relationships too, they were all the hot ones not the unattractive guys. A lot of the latter were actually really mean people who wanted hookups and would try to sneak insult you. Watch them say it’s because they have a chip on their shoulder for not being able to get dates as easily as attractive men.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/23 11:08 AM
1

I’ve never in my life talked to a man I was dating about sports. I have no idea what this person is talking about at all. Wouldn’t it be more important to have shared interests than just talking about sports (unless that’s something you’re actually interested in)? You could just say these people have social skills and talk about things that are popular in their area/community.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/23 10:52 AM
1

Lol that’s me and twitter. My feed is so wholesome
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/23 10:34 AM
0

Why do people assume that less attractive guys are somehow nicer and more relationship-oriented? It’s funny because that hasn’t been true for me, the guys that wanted relationships were actually the more attractive ones. I tried giving a chance to a guy that I wasn’t attracted to and didn’t want a relationship meanwhile when I stick to guys I’m actually attracted to that’s when I meet guys who actually want relationships (obviously not every guy but all the guys that wanted relationships were in…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/23 09:50 AM
1

Meanwhile in real life it was the good looking guys that actually wanted a relationship 🤔
/r/PurplePillDebate08/06/23 05:55 PM
1

So in the end both are picky. Just in different ways. Why do I care if a bunch will sleep with me if I want a relationship instead?
/r/PurplePillDebate08/06/23 01:56 PM
1

Do they though? I feel like that’s because the attraction is mostly sexual. They might want to sleep with a bunch of very different looking women but does that translate into who they actually want to be in a relationship with?
/r/PurplePillDebate08/06/23 01:33 PM
2

Toronto and same thing. I had girls asking me how I got into a relationship which made me feel sad because I know how it is dating out here. I wonder why the dating culture in Toronto and London are like this. So many people with “situations” who say they’re technically not single but not saying they’re in a relationship. It’s so weird. A lot of people are lucky here if they find that person early
/r/PurplePillDebate08/06/23 01:21 PM
3

Damn. How much do houses cost there? Meanwhile I’m from Toronto and what you say is so unheard of here. There’s people in their mid 20s who still feel like they can’t settle down yet or don’t want to. Yet my friends from the south all married or feel bad about not being married yet
/r/PurplePillDebate08/06/23 01:19 PM
3

I bet it’s because they realized that a lot of women want relationships and those apps are known for attracting men who just want sex so of course their only criteria is “be physically attractive”. It’s not worth it. Getting harassed by a bunch of strange men who will say things to you that they’d never say to your face if they met you in person.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/06/23 12:36 PM
2

You "dirty little whore." Am I flirting right? ​ It's kinda funny that he thinks it's a compliment thought.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/05/23 11:05 PM
0

Or like, a regular guy who engages in sex and romance without treating women like objects... ^ this.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/05/23 11:04 PM
3

hey use those insults because they know that's what men tend to be insecure about, they are just trying to hit where they think it will hurt you. Yeah. It sounds more like that.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/05/23 11:03 PM
2

I didn't want to say it but ... yeah lol
/r/PurplePillDebate31/05/23 10:56 PM
0

Not surprised by this. Guys are always encouraging women to drink and drink more. Also think about popular hookup spots tend to serve alcohol (clubs, parties etc.).
/r/PurplePillDebate31/05/23 10:54 PM
3

So can women. Ever heard of tinder? You have all the anonymous casual sex at your fingertips, but most women still choose not to exercise that power, so there are clearly other factors at play. You'd think so but there was "online chat" shared some time ago where guys were sharing pictures and home addresses of women they met through dating apps to mess with them. Better to be safe. Plus, it's just scary putting yourself in a vulnerable position with someone stronger than you who you don't know …
/r/PurplePillDebate31/05/23 10:53 PM
1

The issue with foreigners is that cultural differences and the desire to move back in their country of origin make it difficult for long term relationships. I understand that as someone who has dated people of different cultures. The differences become poignant when you become an adult vs as a child. We begin to realize how important culture is. So it seems that you do have women that like you, maybe you appeal more to foreign women? It could be your vibe. Would you ever consider travelling? For…
/r/PurplePillDebate31/05/23 10:48 PM
2

You’ve undoubtedly heard someone call another person a virgin as an insult. I've actually never heard that but I'm not American. I always wonder when people say that on here is that like an American thing? That's sooo weird. I had a guy say it was weird that I didn't lose my virginity in my teens meanwhile I think that's so young. Different views, different cultures. That's the thing about dating in such a diverse country/continent. Everyone is coming in with their own values, and you don't real…
/r/PurplePillDebate31/05/23 09:20 PM
8

Are you functional yourself? Real question. It's one thing to say you haven't found someone you're compatible with yet, but to claim everyone is dysfunctional? hmmm.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/05/23 09:15 PM
1

Western women on here insist n-count doesn’t matter so ‘whore’ no longer exists - that’s merely ‘an extension of men’s insecurities’ I don't know about that. I hear both men and women calling certain celebrity women "passarounds" and judging them. We're weird in that we act like we're liberal but really a lot of us aren't. I had a former classmate tell me about some girl who was "sleeping around", I don't know why he told me but he kept trying to tell me her name, like why does he want me to kno…
/r/PurplePillDebate31/05/23 09:14 PM
6

Yea, I'm starting to see men and women are just very different on this. How much of it is biology and how much is culture? I don't know. But people still find a way date, get married and repopulate the earth. lol
/r/PurplePillDebate31/05/23 09:11 PM
0

Men and women both tend to pedestalize what makes them feel the most validated and desired. This is true. Not sure about the rest. It just seems more like something men do to impress each other. It's not just that women find relationships validating either, we're also shamed for having casual sex and pressured more to be in relationships and get married. Men can have casual sex without worrying about smearing their own name.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/05/23 09:08 PM
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Yeah, as I was reading your point I had a feeling it was going to be this... I dated several women for months, women who told me they needed time before becoming physical, who finally told me that they found me amazing but were not attracted to me physically. Maybe you just need to fix your style. I saw a picture of this guy I dated from before and I was shocked at how much a haircut and developing an actual sense of style can do wonders. At least they like your personalities, so you must be a l…
/r/PurplePillDebate31/05/23 09:04 PM
4

The guys in relationships could have been those sleeping with multiple women but chose not to? It's all about my choices IMO. I've had men tell me they actually love being in a relationship more, it's more than just sex.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/05/23 08:59 PM
6

You're either a prude or a whore as a woman. You'll get shamed either way. You can't win for losing lol. Humans, I swear.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/05/23 08:57 PM
10

From personal experience, guys who have actually been in relationships are better to date than guys who only know how to sleep around and jump from one situation to the next. Relationships really help you grow as a person in a way that shallow hookups don't. Again, this is my experience.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/05/23 08:24 PM
4

I thought "incels" gave themselves that name. They literally called themselves "incels" and complained about not being able to "get sex". Women definitely use the word as a "fuckboi"as an insult, guys don't like to be called that. It's not a nice word. Maybe you don't see it as such. But there's a reason women complain about "fuckbois". I've heard people use that a lot more in real life and honestly never heard someone call some else an "incel" in real life. I feel like it's men that make fun of…
/r/PurplePillDebate31/05/23 08:22 PM
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Yeah, people may find you good looking obviously but that's superficial. Do you actually know how to be in a relationship and do people like you outside of your looks? I'm a just supposed to stare at their face all day and not talk?
/r/PurplePillDebate31/05/23 08:19 PM
5

Me too. When I think about the guys who actually wanted a relationship, they were the guys that I actually found very attractive. Whenever I tried to date a guy that I didn’t, he was actually really mean and didn’t even want a relationship. So that just told me that maybe I sell myself short. Not currently dating but just an observation based on past experiences
/r/PurplePillDebate31/05/23 07:36 PM
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I mean I’d suspect thé people more likely to be single and looking (the dating pool) might be more likely to have attachment issues and so are constantly in and out.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/05/23 07:32 PM
40

That’s wild to me as a woman. If you have a woman who actually wants to be in a relationship with you that’s more attractive (imo) then a bunch of women sleeping with you and then wanting nothing to do with you longterm.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/05/23 07:30 PM
3

But you can be a mix of both. You can like to do your nails and care about fashion but still have interests that are also considered “tomboy-ish”. It’s not an either you like this or you like that thing
/r/PurplePillDebate29/05/23 11:53 PM
6

So you want a young woman to have kids early just to have their parents pay for the children? To your last part, yes a lot of people bring up money as being the reason they don’t want to start a family or have children yet. I’m one of them, but is it just an excuse or the real reason many don’t want to have kids. Why would the couple breakup because they don’t want to have kids yet? Didn’t get that part
/r/PurplePillDebate29/05/23 01:16 PM
5

I’d rather not depend on my parents for my livelihood either, many desire to be independent still. How are you encouraging women to prioritize marriage at that age if the men aren’t ready to be married? Who are they dating then — much older men?
/r/PurplePillDebate29/05/23 10:32 AM
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Now the As Told By Ginger theme song is stuck in my head. Thanks!
/r/PurplePillDebate29/05/23 10:20 AM
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Lol, it’s funny that you’re also Canadian. Same even when I did get approached in Canada, it was often Americans and others. Canada getting approached was mostly context dependent (you had to be at some party, social event or hobby — those places I’d get approached a lot). Where I am now, I can’t even go to the grocery store without being followed and asked out. People aren’t shy about approaching you at all. That just shows it’s not necessarily a reflection of you but culture. I feel like the “…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/05/23 10:19 AM
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Yeah, it’s very cultural dependent. When I went to China, you’d think I was a celebrity. It might not have anything to do with you but the culture there. Some cultures people are encouraged to be more outgoing and approach women often vs others that are more reserved.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/05/23 10:14 AM
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This is it. My friend said the same thing about me, she’s like I’m pretty but I’m also appear friendly (which shocked me because I always assumed the opposite) that’s why I get approached more in our group. We had issues in that friend group because of it (but the other girl had such a nasty attitude but would say she was playing hard to get). I also noticed the same thing as you in that the times I was harassed on the street (men hissing at me) was when I was actually a minor. Same thing the ti…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/05/23 10:12 AM
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Yeah, it’s not as often as they make it out to be. You’d think the average women’s inbox is flooded with marriage proposals. My friends notice I tend to get approached more when we go out — they said it’s because I seem friendly and I guess I’m pretty — but it’s important to note that I also seem friendly at times — whereas other times I’ve been told I seem “too cool” and they’d be nervous to approach me. So I think how you come across, your mood and demeanour also impacts it. But people especia…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/05/23 10:08 AM
–

It’s interesting because as a Canadian, a country where I was born and raised (so not foreign) I’ve been in many situations where people will randomly start touching my hair, someone standing behind me in the line or the seat behind me at a university lecture will start playing with my hair. I kid you not. How do people feel so comfortable touching a stranger so intimately ? I feel like because we’re women, people aren’t scared of us beating them up, so they think it’s ok to touch us without ask…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/05/23 10:03 AM
–

I know they always go to extremes on here. Women may get complimented and approached but I’m not a damn celebrity lol. Most women aren’t IG models or famous people being flooded with admirers
/r/PurplePillDebate29/05/23 10:00 AM
–

Men do not want to be seen as piece of meats, they want to be desirable yes but they don’t actually want you to not care about them outside of sex.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/05/23 09:59 AM
–

Thank you!! Once you realize that most of the attention are from men who just want to take you on dates because they think it’ll make you want to sleep with them and then you see how a switch goes off in them once they realize you’re not going to. They don’t actually care about you. Most of the attention is pretty fake and shallow. It’s focused on your looks and possibility for sex. They don’t even separate themselves from the dating pool even if they’re not looking to date. I’d hold my breath u…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/05/23 09:57 AM
5

Yeah, but what if she just doesn’t like that kind of stuff no matter how you raised her? Would you then push her to like those “feminine” things? I remember being insulted for being a “tomboy” when really I was just being myself. I’d want my children to be authentic to themselves
/r/PurplePillDebate29/05/23 09:49 AM
2

OnlyFans is on the internet so women who use it likely spend more time on the internet that’s why you see more of them. They’re also likely using this site to advertise which is why you even know they have an OF page.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/05/23 09:43 AM
5

People are living alone (unmarried) for longer periods. Telling women to prioritize motherhood and marriage in their early 20s while guys their age are doing the opposite, won’t really help them. I think there’s too much of a focus on encouraging motherhood and being a wife (also shaming single women) vs encouraging men to desire fatherhood and being a husband. So, they tell their daughters to invest in themselves and not just being someone’s partner or mother. I’ve seen financial abuse in real …
/r/PurplePillDebate29/05/23 09:40 AM
1

People say this but from my experience the guys that actually wanted a relationship were the attractive ones and the not-so-good-looking ones were non-committal. It’s weird but that’s been my experience.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/05/23 09:26 AM
10

Yeah. Get approached with or without makeup so it doesn’t matter.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/05/23 09:17 AM
3

They’re acting like women don’t also get approached in person. Lol. Not on dating apps but still was able to date several men over the summer. Take away the internet completely and even more people will be forced to make a move in person.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/05/23 04:14 AM
3

This ^ Dating means so mean different things to people. People could be go on dates looking for FWBs and the other person is looking for a partner. Misaligned goals
/r/PurplePillDebate29/05/23 04:12 AM
2

We don’t talk enough about women’s sexuality is shamed a lot. We’re not even supposed to talk about the act. So many gender-specific insults for our sexuality when expressed. We’re also taught that it’s something men desire and women give to them. We’re not portrayed as the one who desires but the object of desire. I wonder if the desire for aggression from their partner in bed is part of some part of mental punishment.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/05/23 01:52 AM
–

I feel like there’s a difference between feeling meh about someone at first (maybe you didn’t even notice them before) to being repulsed, simply finding the person unattractive
/r/PurplePillDebate26/05/23 12:45 AM
3

Lmao they really love talking to themselves though, it’s like it doesn’t even matter if you’re actually listening. This same guy friend was like I’m glad you’re here because I can’t tell my guy friends this and I’m confused the whole time because I never asked him to tell me anything. He just kept going on and on and his friend was right there listening to everything too.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/05/23 12:23 AM
9

Someone needs help with rent because lol. Imagine moving in with everyone you dated for a “few months”.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/05/23 12:19 AM
4

Yeah I had a guy friend from high school I met up with and he thought girls didn’t like his looks which was so funny to me. It was his stinking attitude. He used to be a good looking guy but he doesn’t care for himself anymore and he’s miserable to be around now. He’s actually cute. But it made me think about how people assume others don’t like them for something and oftentimes it’s so off base as to why people don’t reach out to them. Maybe you’re mean mugging or defensive assuming others are t…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/05/23 12:12 AM
2

Ok so I’m not just imagining it lol
/r/PurplePillDebate23/05/23 09:15 PM
7

As a woman in her 20s, I attracted a lot of men in my early 20s but that was purely physical. Once I entered my mid 20s all of a sudden met more men that actually wanted a relationship and talked about marriage. Attention I got in my early 20s was cheap. It’s like once I entered my mid 20s I was starting to be taken more seriously
/r/PurplePillDebate23/05/23 03:26 PM
2

Has Leonardo DiCaprio ever married? Is the point that men like sleeping with really young women?
/r/PurplePillDebate23/05/23 03:24 PM
1

So basically they just want to sleep with young women…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/05/23 03:23 PM
1

I’m a year or so younger than Zendaya and Timothee and people always think I’m a teen including other teens. I didn’t get it until I considered that I think Timothee still looks like a teen to me and Zendaya too. Throw in Tom Holland, he looks like an old man in the body of a teen. Weird. I also looked at other celebrities around my age and I always assume they’re much younger than me when they end up being the same age or like a year younger. 20s tend to be all over the place
/r/PurplePillDebate23/05/23 03:16 PM
–

Yeah it’s truly the ironic but you’re right this really isn’t the place to discuss something like this.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/05/23 08:53 PM
–

Bingo. The only difference is that they won’t get validated by using a toy like they would being able to sleep with multiple women. Do they have sex for pleasure or to brag to others?
/r/PurplePillDebate21/05/23 06:55 PM
13

Yeah dating got better for me as moved up in my 20s. It’s like I met more relationship-minded guys where my early 20s felt like a lot of it was just being sexually desired
/r/PurplePillDebate18/05/23 03:17 AM
2

It really is. I’m from Toronto and during the summer I get approached a lot. Mostly because that’s our busiest season when most people or outside and lots of social events. I notice i tend to get into relationships during winter though. Not pre-planned just something I noticed looking back. Where I live now, it’s different, warm all year around and I get approached every time I step out to go shopping. It’s also different culture here. Canada is more reserved, the guys that approached me there w…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/05/23 06:31 PM
–

Thanks for sharing. Is it ok to ask if you’re still with any of those guys today?
/r/PurplePillDebate08/05/23 09:26 PM
–

About to ask. Like being a girlfriend/boyfriend really isn’t much… They always give these examples of how they used to date a girl who they slept with on the first date. Where is she now?
/r/PurplePillDebate08/05/23 08:56 PM
–

Share more. What differences did you notice?
/r/PurplePillDebate08/05/23 08:47 PM
–

Terrible photos and terrible attitudes. I remember I met some guys who told me they used to use the apps but didn’t like it. I saw some of the pictures there were taking on social media and the way they interacted with people in real life…very pushy…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/05/23 05:39 PM
2

Yes, all of this. I’m an ENFP (thought I was INFP for the longest though). I really had to learn emotional boundaries with others
/r/PurplePillDebate06/05/23 09:54 AM
2

Better adjectives. You’re right
/r/PurplePillDebate06/05/23 09:51 AM
2

They expect all women to be emotionally supportive * don't know if it's the maternal aspect * but a lot of people have an interesting relationship with emotions and are not capable of really helping OP the way they want. Thank you for mentioning that a lot of them just rant for hours and don't even stop to see if you're listening like you're not even a person. Also, I love emotionally expressive men but there has to be boundaries when it comes to dropping a whole lot of negativity on someone you…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/05/23 12:36 AM
2

Men looove opening up to me, I wish I understood what it's like to live in a world where men aren't emotionally expressive and tell you all their issues then suggest them they get therapy (because they've complaining about the same thing and I don't really know how to help them, I'm not a therapist) they continue to then emotionally dump on you like a therapist. It's exhausting and it's not reciprocated. They just want someone to listen to them. I used to bog myself down carrying everyone's emot…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/05/23 12:31 AM
2

I thought it was adorable and it made him stand out in a favourable way. But I don't think someone would put on an act by behaving "sexually charged" that doesn't make sense. I think he just didn't want a relationship.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/05/23 11:55 PM
1

I have no idea what that has to do with us realizing we wanted different things ... i don't know why I'm being downvoted for not wanting to continue to date someone who didn't want a relationship but sex when that's what I wanted. This subreddit is so weird.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/05/23 10:36 PM
2

lol
/r/PurplePillDebate05/05/23 09:04 PM
0

Some people are still pining after people that THEY dumped so yeah I see it...But at the same time if they don't want to be in a relationship with you - why do you still want them? What relationship could you possibly have with them? There's no relationship if only one person wants it.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/05/23 08:07 PM
-2

Great for you. Hope y'all get married!
/r/PurplePillDebate05/05/23 07:56 PM
-1

In that case, they've been on a few dates already it wasn't the FIRST date where the guy was trying to get in her pants. Not really to the attraction part. I've been attracted to men I didn't know (or wasn't friends with might be better) because I liked their physical and their general vibe. If I'm no longer interested it's because of something he said or did. Maybe he made me feel unsafe and was pushy or said something offensive. Maybe he was really rude to me or others. But most likely I reali…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/05/23 07:55 PM
-2

Why wouldn't I? I want an actual relationship.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/05/23 07:48 PM
-5

We wanted different things honestly. he was nice on the first date then started getting really sexual at the end of the second one and I was like nope went on a third date and same thing. He didn't actually want a relationship. Here, I was relieved I guy wasn't pushing for sex on the first date and the only reason he didn't was because he was nervous. :/
/r/PurplePillDebate05/05/23 07:47 PM
-2

we went on three dates
/r/PurplePillDebate05/05/23 07:45 PM
1

This. They act like men don't treat women differently based on what they want from her just like they're claiming women do. Do they want long term with every woman they're attracted to or date? So, how is that different from women treating men differently ?
/r/PurplePillDebate05/05/23 05:17 PM
1

“hypergamy” that determines whom women choose to have casual sex with rather than on whom they choose to marry. so would you say that men are also hypergamous since they choose differently depending on whether they want casual sex or marriage?
/r/PurplePillDebate05/05/23 05:14 PM
-1

Men do the same, even though the genders are different here and comparison is less dangerous for men. But if we have had lovers with better body parts or better skills or more sensuality, we are going to avoid thinking or focusing on that as best we can. WHy do that>? It just makes what you have worse. Yess. Also, if everything was so "great" you would still be with that person. I always think of it like that, so why even compare them to an ex? Whenever someone's going on and on about how great …
/r/PurplePillDebate05/05/23 05:08 PM
1

Try for a kiss not try to pull your pants down on the first date. That's a world of difference. If a guy tries for sex on the first date, it's actually a turn off.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/05/23 05:01 PM
–

Do you treat all women the same? Do men want to be in a relationship with every woman they went on a date with or slept with? Human nature. Who treats everyone equally?
/r/PurplePillDebate05/05/23 04:59 PM
2

As a woman, same. This guy was very attractive to me, still didn't want to have sex on the first or second date. I'm used to dating attractive men but this guy was fuego and he was really nervous on the date, I could hear his heartbeat, we both were in awe of the other's beauty. I still want to spend more time getting to know him. Looks aren't everything. That's how you end up jumping into a relationship just to find out you don't even like the person or you're not compatible but the chemistry b…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/05/23 04:58 PM
2

Ok, so let's play your game. If she doesn't find you attractive? So? Move on, that's what the other person is telling you. Why get upset that she finds other men attractive in the past? She's on a date with you. It's coming off as jealousy.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/05/23 04:55 PM
0

I agree with you. People have had lives before you, and they were young and naive once just like you were. But also, it doesn't really matter to me as a woman, my ex was so sexy to me but was he the best guy ever or tall? Nope. Didn't matter, I liked him and I liked his face, plus we just clicked. People can be attractive to you in different ways. I don't really compare. Also, it's not always about looks, sometimes I've dated handsome men that for whatever reason I wasn't into (maybe I have some…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/05/23 04:52 PM
13

Exactly. This. I've had guy say he's not going to do something because of his ex. I'm like why am I being punished for your ex? But maybe he doesn't want to go through something painful again. But also, not someone I would date because that means they're not quite over somethings and really open to loving again. It's not fair on me.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/05/23 04:42 PM
3

Yes, I went on a date with a guy who was even nervous to ask for a kiss. He felt bad about it but I found it so adorable, he doesn't realize how much of a breath of fresh air that date was for me. We did kiss but he didn't push me for sex and that was great. I'm so used to guys pushing for me to come back to their place on the first date that it's like I'm holding my breath. I've even had this with male friends who don't want relationships but talk too much about my looks and tell me they want t…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/05/23 04:38 PM
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So who gave birth to all you non-model men then? Was it immaculate conception? Or did your mom sleep with your non-model father to birth your average self? You guys need to get in touch with grass
/r/PurplePillDebate04/05/23 11:21 AM
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All of this. They’re acting like the people on dating apps are actually looking for relationships too. They’re called hookup apps for a reason and guys will even say this about the apps.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/05/23 11:16 AM
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Then they get mad when those women don’t want them and then say all women are b-words. Lol. I keep saying that most of what they see here about women is just projection. Guys who are out of shape or facially unattractive still go for the most attractive. The same ones acting like all women are IG models or on OnlyFans.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/05/23 11:14 AM
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I don’t agree. You might not going to be someone’s perfect ideal but have a lot of qualities they like. They like you even if they don’t necessarily love everything physically
/r/PurplePillDebate04/05/23 11:09 AM
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The worst I had was with a guy that was way over 6’5. I don’t care about height as much as I care about if I like his face. I’ve dated guys that were 6’2 to 6’3 and that was honestly perfect for me. But I’m 5’7. Too tall is anything over 6’3 but it does sound like people are saying it’s ok to say a guy is too tall in defense but not that a guy is too short
/r/PurplePillDebate04/05/23 11:01 AM
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How often do you think women meet men that are shorter than them though? Most guys are taller.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/05/23 10:51 AM
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This is so true, me and my friends usually have different taste in men. But I have the better taste because they say mine are attractive lol jk but not really. Most men don’t put as much effort into their looks as well so it’s really subjective. I’ve had guys who I thought were smelly and unattractive due to lack of grooming tell me they’ve been with X amount of women and it surprised me. I also wondered if the women were prostitutes or crackheads. So we obviously have different tastes
/r/PurplePillDebate04/05/23 10:48 AM
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Wow. Was this after sex??
/r/PurplePillDebate04/05/23 10:19 AM
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I know it’s kinda messed up if you think about. Some people are more comfortable being physically vulnerable than emotionally vulnerable in a relationship. Maybe they weren’t that onto the person
/r/PurplePillDebate04/05/23 10:18 AM
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I had guy cry after sex on the first time and it was very awkward. He would go on to be very emotional ranter later on that made me feel like a therapist but refused to get therapy…because he didn’t want to … I mean he had me for free so
/r/PurplePillDebate04/05/23 10:05 AM
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She could have said she wanted a relationship in general and not necessarily with him. The statement always gets misinterpreted. I’ve told guys before I want a relationship and they assume I’m asking them out right now. Like no, that’s just just my purpose for dating, I don’t know yet if I want to be in one with you. Also maybe the sex was really bad
/r/PurplePillDebate04/05/23 10:02 AM
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He didn’t say he was just looking for a relationship (as if that’s his future goal), he said he wanted a relationship now. He asked her to be bf and gf after one date. He doesn’t really know her and she knows that. Some guys just like their own projection of you but they don’t know you as a person yet. The only thing he said about her is that she’s pretty. Why does he want to be in a relationship with her?
/r/PurplePillDebate04/05/23 09:58 AM
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I mean he said this was the first time he’s been close to someone in years so maybe he is desperate. That doesn’t make her feel special, it’s kinda like you just went with the first body that would be close to yours. She probably does click with the other guy more, sex doesn’t equal compatible
/r/PurplePillDebate04/05/23 09:56 AM
1

Are you me? Even the time period and how long the relationship lasted was the same. I was so checked out towards the even. We went though the same post-break up experience too. I was dating soon after the breakup and was just like nah and then went back to just being by myself. I’m also planning on moving countries. It’s peaceful
/r/PurplePillDebate03/05/23 02:20 AM
2

I have the same question honestly. Getting into a relationship was the first time I actually had someone to hang out with regularly. Post-university, period. It’s weird because I still desire to maintain my friendships even when I was in a relationship but that doesn’t mean others do. This was a period that got really lonely and I think that pushed me into getting into a one and I actually liked being in a relationship. I don’t know what people were complaining about. It wasn’t awful.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/05/23 02:16 AM
1

Same, especially as an adult. Opposite sex seemed more open to new people even if it’s just because they wanted to date me when I was just trying to make friends.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/05/23 02:12 AM
3

Yea, it’s about processing. I felt like a lot of them try to treat the next woman they’re with like they’re therapist. It kind of turned me off dating, I won’t lie. I remember a guy friend just start rambling about his ex and then finished it with “I’m so glad you’re here because I can’t talk to my guy friends about this” meanwhile his friend was RIGHT there listening to everything he was telling me. Guys need to do a better job of emotionally supporting one another.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/05/23 02:03 AM
2

I was shocked when I dated to realize how many of these guys literally just got out of a relationship. My ex was in a relationship barely a few months before we got together and was already dating a lot like he couldn’t be alone. But then again I went on a date the same week we broke up. But I wasn’t trying to jump into a whole relationship again. Some will jump into a new relationship but not be over the last one (mentally). Also, shows that when men actually want commitment and relationships t…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/05/23 02:01 AM
0

Women are told to not approach men either. We’re supposed to let him initiate.it’s mostly women who propose
/r/PurplePillDebate03/05/23 01:58 AM
1

. No one wants someone who’s interested then only for sex unless that’s all they’re interested in
/r/PurplePillDebate02/05/23 07:30 PM
1

Do they value them or they just want to sleep with it? Because that’s not the same thing… That’s probably why women said they preferred dating once they left their early 20s because they felt like they were taken more seriously and not just for sexual desire.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/05/23 09:25 AM
2

Basically. I remember them getting mad at me for saying that I’m not interested in older guys meanwhile they were saying they only like younger women for sex and because they’re less likely to desire relationships/marriage. Which just shows they’re unserious
/r/PurplePillDebate01/05/23 01:06 AM
1

Yes. They’re interpreting women they find attractive friendliness as flirting, projecting their own feelings on to her. I’ve seen guys talk differently, really soft and sweet when they’re attracted to you and then rude and mean to women they’re not into and then wonder why one is not nicer. It’s crazy how they can’t see it
/r/PurplePillDebate30/04/23 04:16 PM
1

I wish I had a wingwoman like this because some guys think it’s a game when you say you’re not interested
/r/PurplePillDebate30/04/23 04:13 PM
2

Now I get why guys think being nice to them means you were interested or they have a chance. I’m just being polite, I’m not only talkative with men I want to date :/
/r/PurplePillDebate30/04/23 04:11 PM
1

A hot girl will also be taken on dates more because the guy think this is what they need to do to get her to sleep with them. Jus throw money around.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/04/23 03:54 PM
1

Because relationships aren’t just about attraction but compatibility and chemistry. I have no issue finding men that are attractive to me to date but doesn’t mean we’re compatible.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/04/23 03:46 PM
1

We’re also given a lot of pressure in our 20s told these are best years and prime and made to feel weird if we don’t get in a relationship by a certain time in our 20s and then marriage and then the career. The timeline is rough. I don’t think they’re just putting the pressure on themselves but the societal messages they receive
/r/PurplePillDebate30/04/23 03:38 PM
1

This. From experience the quality has gone up as I left my early 20s and entered my mid 20s. A lot of the guys chasing women for their naivety at that age are awful
/r/PurplePillDebate30/04/23 03:35 PM
1

Same. I’m relieved I didn’t marry anyone I dated in my early 20s would have been a mess. I’ve changed so much since then
/r/PurplePillDebate30/04/23 03:27 PM
1

I wonder if this is a generational difference as well because these studies aren’t based on Gen Z which is not in their late 20s yet. We’re having less sex than previous generations did at our age, we’re more likely to be single as well. Dating when I was in university was a shitshow I didn’t get involved in.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/04/23 03:19 PM
2

I’m in my 20s and dating got better for me in my mid 20s than early 20s. I think a lot of guys approach women at that age thinking that they’ll be “easy”
/r/PurplePillDebate30/04/23 03:16 PM
2

Yea and now that you say it like that it all makes sense because why else are they trying to pressure women to get into relationship and marry as soon as they turn 18 when they tell men the opposite. Because they believe women exist to serve others, we’re not actually humans to them. I’m glad I took the time to actually date and learn about myself in my early 20s. I didn’t realize how much was expected of me as a woman in a relationship, and that’s just a simple relationship we’re not even talki…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/04/23 02:55 PM
1

Did people actually die from diarrhea? Lol I’m sorry off topic
/r/PurplePillDebate30/04/23 02:53 PM
1

Agreed and I’m in my 20s dating guys around age 30 was way easier than dating in my early 20s
/r/PurplePillDebate30/04/23 02:47 PM
1

Yeah I don’t think we should be taking any type of relationship advice and tips from North America in general. Dating culture is shut and we don’t really accommodate families or romantic relationships. I remember someone also brought up how we lack third places for people to meet for low-cost. I’ve heard people say it’s hard to make friends because then they spend a lot of money going out or they’re too busy. Which boggles my mind because you can just chill at home with a friend or two without s…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/04/23 02:42 PM
1

So theyre willing to sleep with younger women means they value them more? Yikes. I don’t think women care to know that old ass men want to sleep with them.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/04/23 02:40 PM
1

They also ask me a lot of questions about my job so obviously they care.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/04/23 02:37 PM
1

I mean I didn’t want a relationship in my early 20s this was my first time having that much freedom (it wasn’t my first time living away from home though). I wanted to get experience dating and meeting new people before I settled down
/r/PurplePillDebate30/04/23 02:29 PM
1

Do you think it’s because the people in western Michigan are more relationship material than in bigger cities ? Lol. I’m being sarcastic because people don’t take into account culture enough in these discussions
/r/PurplePillDebate30/04/23 02:27 PM
1

Agreed. Culture plays a big part. I’m Canadian and have guys who act like they’re too young at 25 to want anything serious meanwhile people are already married in my parents home country by that age. The guys I met here that want commitment and marriage were usually close to early 30 here. Also men and women get different messages in their 20s
/r/PurplePillDebate30/04/23 02:26 PM
1

This is eye opening because I’m in my 20s and the guys I’ve dated that wanted commitment were in that late 20s / early 30s age range
/r/PurplePillDebate30/04/23 02:22 PM
1

Exactly, so I didn’t get why they keep pressuring a young woman to find a man in her 20s but men in their 20s are being told they’re too young to settle down yet. From personal experience I found guys in their late 20s/early 30s to be more interested in commitment than guys my age or younger
/r/PurplePillDebate30/04/23 02:21 PM
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I’ve honestly been shocked because the guys who I thought were unattractive were the ones sleeping around a lot. So no I don’t actually know.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/04/23 01:50 PM
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This. I don’t care that a bunch of good looking men want to sleep with me. I desire a relationship not sleeping around
/r/PurplePillDebate30/04/23 01:40 PM
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This is true. I dated a guy who had to be one of the most handsome men but could tell he didn’t have sexual experience. Meanwhile this guy who was by far the smelliest, ugly and depressing had slept with 8 women. I was shocked when he told me, I wondered if they were crackheads
/r/PurplePillDebate30/04/23 01:36 PM
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The same is true for men. I had ex tell me I made him feel special because of that
/r/PurplePillDebate30/04/23 01:27 PM
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And women haven’t been heartbroken?
/r/PurplePillDebate30/04/23 01:20 PM
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Yeah plus both guys you find attractive or unattractive can cheat on you so you really don’t know. It’s more about how I feel, I feel like this is a man projecting his own feelings onto women. Maybe he treats the women he dates differently based on whether he thinks they can easily replace him or not
/r/PurplePillDebate30/04/23 01:14 PM
1

I’ve weirdly never had that happen. The guy I had amazing chemistry with, the sex was also good. I’m not talking that oh I enjoy talking to this person, we have things in common. It’s not logical. It’s like instinctual, we just have this great repertoire.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/04/23 01:11 PM
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Oh ok then. I don’t know the reason I’m just guessing lol
/r/PurplePillDebate30/04/23 01:09 PM
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Damn
/r/PurplePillDebate30/04/23 01:09 PM
1

I’ve never been in love despite being in a relationship but the sex was good lol. I think you need attraction and effortless chemistry.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/04/23 10:59 AM
1

Agreed and that’s why I take my time because it’s easy to get up in the chemistry you have before you realize you’re not actually compatible on a whole. When you end up in a relationship with someone you’re sooooo different from and just have polarizing values you have to do some reflection
/r/PurplePillDebate30/04/23 10:58 AM
2

That’s why I side eye any man who tries to sleep with me on the first date. I just know he’s not serious and will block him once I get home. Not doing that is how you end up in relationships with people you have nothing in common with but physical chemistry. Get to know the person first.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/04/23 10:51 AM
2

How do we know they haven’t?
/r/PurplePillDebate30/04/23 10:50 AM
1

It’s weird because I’ve had sex outside of a committed relationship that was way better than relationship sex because he didn’t act like getting me off was a chore. He also made me O every time.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/04/23 10:38 AM
1

Wow. Women desire sex more with men they find physically attractive? The horror!
/r/PurplePillDebate30/04/23 10:36 AM
1

Bad sex still leads to an orgasm for men. It doesn’t for women, they might not even feel much pleasure at all. So it makes sense
/r/PurplePillDebate30/04/23 10:33 AM
1

Maybe life got busy, they have kids and jobs and then have to come home and do most of the housework. I’ve heard many say that their husband feels like another child they have to care for
/r/PurplePillDebate30/04/23 10:30 AM
1

Also the orgasm you have during sexual activities is different from when you’re doing it by yourself. Don’t know why but orgasm I have with someone else energizes me in a weird way, whereas solo I just fall asleep.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/04/23 10:29 AM
1

Agreed. I don’t think I wanted it more than my ex (he definitely was ready more often) but I did have a lot with him. I liked cuddling or just falling asleep together after it. So I wouldn’t like a hookup. I like novelty and variety too as a woman but we also get judged harsher for thar. We get judged less harshly for having lots of sex in a relationship or marriage. So it’s not that we don’t have the desire. When I first started dating, I loved it just to meet different new people. It was fun w…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/04/23 10:27 AM
1

You know what. You're right, we do have a lot of options. I get approached by men regularly asking for my hand in marriage.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/04/23 12:39 AM
1

How is that different from men who sleep around in their 20s and they turn around I want a wife that didn’t ?
/r/PurplePillDebate26/04/23 01:39 PM
1

So are you with any of those women that had sex on the first or second date ? Because for you to be meeting a lot of them, that means you’re continuing to have many first dates with new women…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/04/23 11:39 AM
1

So you want them to continue sleeping with men so their « dubious past » as you call it can continue? Messed up if you ask me
/r/PurplePillDebate26/04/23 11:38 AM
2

I think that’s dangerous thinking, because then you get guys who think you’re not into them if you don’t want to sleep with them on the first date. Like relax, what’s the rush? We’re still getting to know and become comfortable with one another. On the other side, I assume guys who want to sleep with me on the first date actually aren’t that interested in me
/r/PurplePillDebate26/04/23 11:35 AM
2

Very jealous because they believe that women are doing stuff for other (good looking) men that they aren’t doing for them. I notice some of the less attractive ones have a tendency to “neg” maybe in an attempt to bring the woman down or act like they think attractive men get away with. Yesssss, same to the last couple sentences, it’s gotten to the point that I reject every guy who approaches me because I’m not interested in this dance to figure out what he wants from me. Knowing that guys will t…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/04/23 09:14 PM
1

How is that different from women? That’s dating in general. You have to go on a lot of dates before you find something worth investing in for more.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/04/23 07:37 PM
1

Out of the guys that wanted to actually settle down they were all in the attractive camp for me…so I never got the connection between guys being less attractive and more willing to commit
/r/PurplePillDebate25/04/23 07:36 PM
1

I know right. I don’t know why they’re assuming friend zoned men want a relationship/commitment instead of just wanting to sleep with her.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/04/23 07:32 PM
2

The guys are only a few years older and still in their 20s so it’s funny to me when they make a big deal about being older. I’m not talking about actually old men here
/r/PurplePillDebate25/04/23 04:22 PM
6

Yeah that’s true too. I’m sorry you had to go through it as well. I got it a lot when i was a child even more than an adult. I remember grown men hissing at me to come over. I’d just ignore them. I didn’t even think about it, it was just a weird thing. They think you’ll be too dumb or naive to figure it out. Even as an adult, when I date a guys a few years older they assume the same. It’s scary to think about. I remember as a kid my mom telling me to close my legs or else guys will try to look u…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/04/23 03:27 PM
3

I prefer being friends with women too, I prefer female energy tbh. I end up being “friends” with men because they’re more likely to want to hang out now. You’re right about this subreddit, honestly all of this whining seems to be about sex.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/04/23 03:24 PM
0

Then they’ll be complaining about “dead bedrooms” in another thread. Plus relationships are already hard as is, you’re going to be pretty annoyed putting in the same amount of hard work in a relationship with someone you didn’t even find attractive in the first place
/r/PurplePillDebate25/04/23 08:39 AM
6

Exactly plus we’re assuming they even see themselves as unattractive just because we don’t. Men are men imo. Take everyone as individuals because you don’t know.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/04/23 08:37 AM
1

Nah. It’s weird because irl the guys who wanted relationships were actually very attractive. The few times that I gave a chance to a guy who was unattractive to me they didn’t even want a relationship. So this idea that less attractive men are more likely to want commitment is bogus (to me).
/r/PurplePillDebate25/04/23 08:36 AM
12

This is interesting because as a woman. The times where I’ve actually been catcalled or harassed have not been when I was wearing a dress or shorts. It was when I was wearing sweatpants and a hoodie. Which is the opposite of how people say this kind of stuff happens.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/04/23 08:34 AM
2

I don’t like watching sports tho :/ I just like playing them. I don’t know if I have traditionally male interests either. I just grew up being told by women in my family that I was a tomboy. I don’t see it as being a tomboy though which makes me sound like I’m mimicking men rather than just being myself. It’s disappointing yeah because they don’t get that it’s harder to make friends as an adult no longer in school or university. I really just wanted friends and someone to just talk to normally w…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/04/23 08:32 AM
5

If she’s hot then they’d want to sleep with her, doesn’t mean they’d actually want to be with her. So not a compliment and really just icky.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/04/23 12:53 AM
9

I used to do the pretend I didn’t notice thing and it doesn’t work because then they think they have a chance and just aren’t speaking loud enough lol. One time really annoyed me because I thought we were going out as friends and then he turned around and acted like it was a date and I was confused. Then admitted to having feelings. If he told me from the start I’d never agree to go out. I also thought he was inviting others in our group and not just me. It really hurt because I had just broken …
/r/PurplePillDebate25/04/23 12:50 AM
1

From experience, yes? I basically had to cut all of them off because they tried it. Even guys I knew back when we were in school But that’s my personal experience, I can’t speak for others
/r/PurplePillDebate25/04/23 12:47 AM
3

So you’re going to try being honest this time?
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/23 02:36 AM
5

I mean isn’t that the basis for dating. Why date someone who doesn’t like you or you think you have to convince to?
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/23 12:51 AM
2

I’m starting to realize that a lot of the things people like OP assume about their partners is projection. Because that’s how they are so they assume that about their partner. Really sick.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/04/23 08:20 PM
1

Being pressured into anal is not even funny. It’s violating , they should respect their partner and their body. No means no. Stop trying to argue and convince others to commit sexual acts they don’t want to. When you put it like that you see how bad it really is.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/04/23 08:10 PM
1

How many do you think are in comparison to women that would be ready for marriage at that age?
/r/PurplePillDebate05/04/23 05:31 PM
1

Like honestly? I’m trying to say. Especially if you live in North America, many think they’re too young at the age. The guys who have brought up marriage to me were early 30s
/r/PurplePillDebate05/04/23 05:28 PM
11

He’s good in bed but he’s short. He’s good in bed but he’s annoying af and not someone you’d want to be the father of your children. They actually don’t want a serious relationship with the guy. I always thought I was weird for not getting attached. Sex will not be what makes me stay with anyone
/r/PurplePillDebate05/04/23 03:36 PM
1

I said people but really meant men.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/04/23 03:32 PM
1

If I missed out on young love as a woman I’m glad because a lot of the guys I know that experienced it are so bitter now while still being in their 20s. I’m glad I didn’t take dating seriously in my early 20s
/r/PurplePillDebate05/04/23 10:06 AM
1

I don’t get did they just date 10 guys or they actually got into a committed relationship with 10 guys? Meanwhile there’s guys I know who become bitter after one relationship in their 20s...
/r/PurplePillDebate05/04/23 09:40 AM
3

All of this. It’s easy to find people that are attractive to you because that’s the most superficial and quick observation to make. Then you figure out if you even have things are common, do you have common values? Do you click? My ex and I had the attraction and chemistry but the incompatibilités we’re too much. I remember after we broke up I joined some hobbies and met some people that I shared common interests with but didn’t mean I found them attractive or we shared the same values.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/04/23 09:38 AM
1

You’d be surprised, a lot of people don’t feel ready to seriously date at 25 still
/r/PurplePillDebate05/04/23 09:34 AM
2

It’s interesting how you can have chemistry and attraction and be totally incompatible with someone. It makes me want to ask the hard questions on a first date just to not waste time
/r/PurplePillDebate05/04/23 09:33 AM
1

I’m not going to know my “friend” has feelings for me until he tells me so why would I randomly check in with him. That would be me assuming every guy who talks to me wants me. If you’re the one with romantic feelings say that. Your friends can’t read your mind. Also if someone says they’re not interest, don’t go around talking about being friendzoned like being friends is so awful. Friendzoning happens when people aren’t clear about their intentions and assume the other party knows or will pick…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/04/23 06:42 PM
1

Hmmm. I wonder if I do that myself tbh. But idk people have told me I’m a very much a “I am who I am” kind of person. My last serious relationship was the only one that went passed the 3 month mark. Do you think being friends first will help prevent this 3 month mask reveal?
/r/PurplePillDebate01/04/23 04:11 PM
1

So I should ever tell every guy I’m talking to I’m not interested in them. Any guy friend I have who hasn’t mentioned their feelings to me yet. I should just randomly, “hey just so you know I’m interested in you romantically”. You’re just being friendly with someone and then they take that as a chance romantically and act like you led him on. Like you were just supposed to know that was the reason he was talking to you. If anything you should be upfront instead of pretending to be someone’s frie…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/04/23 04:09 PM
2

The oldest Gen Z would actually be 25 + (since it starts in 1997)
/r/PurplePillDebate01/04/23 04:06 PM
1

So maybe she should move or travel more? If she’s having trouble finding like-minded people where she is
/r/PurplePillDebate01/04/23 11:16 AM
2

Agree with all of this. Both men and women face rejection at different stages — the guy who gets rejected when he approaches a woman, and the woman who gets rejected when she wants a relationship.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/04/23 11:14 AM
1

That was dumb. She could have asked herself if she wanted a kiss. I’d take it as him respecting boundaries for not just kissing me without asking first
/r/PurplePillDebate01/04/23 11:11 AM
1

I don’t know but I’ve blocked quite a few guys for trying to have sex on the first date. It’s to the point if a guy doesn’t bring up sex on the first date. I feel relieved because he’s become a rarity
/r/PurplePillDebate01/04/23 11:09 AM
1

Name names lol. This is actually funny. It’s probably the types that think all women are IG models or on OnlyFans because that’s the type they pay attention to
/r/PurplePillDebate01/04/23 11:08 AM
1

I don’t know but when I was on tinder I got a lot of expensive dates with guys who wanted to fuck still. I went on a coffee date once and it was the worst, most dry thing and usually means they’re not that interested. Oh, he also expected me to go to his room afterwards (on campus), so him taking me for coffee he didn’t pay for (splitting the hill) didn’t mean he wasn’t going to try anything. They’ll try it either way I’ve never lied about my age as a woman but I’ve had man do this multiple time…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/04/23 10:59 AM
1

Agree with the first. I had guy complaining to me about not wanting to be friendzoned. He tried to kiss me and I pushed him away. Then later he tried again and grabbed my face while I was pulling away. It was weird, acting bold wasn’t going to make me like you especially if I never said I was interested in you like that. I don’t only interact with the opposite sex because of romance, but it seems like that’s true for a lot of men.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/04/23 10:57 AM
1

So are we all just pretending to be something we’re not? Is it conscious?
/r/PurplePillDebate01/04/23 10:38 AM
1

I mean that seems to be very common neurodivergent or not. A lot of “relationships” end at the 3 month mark because it usually takes that long to show your true self. 3 months is when you either decide to take the relationship to the next level (become long-term) or you realize after the initial attraction wears off you’re not compatible and move on.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/04/23 10:37 AM
1

You can like travelling, concerts, music and « nerdy » skit. Is there really such a thing as nerdy shit these days when video games, comic books TV/movies, spending an extensive time on the internet, Reddit are popular these days?
/r/PurplePillDebate01/04/23 10:24 AM
1

I mean obviously the person has to like you. You expected them to give you advice on how to make women like you in the first place? You believe can make someone who would otherwise not like you, like you The problem also isn’t the type of hobbies. It’s just that I notice that guys that tend to have nerdy hobbies tend to be physically goofy. So sharing a hobby isn’t enough but not even nerdy tbh. Just certain hobbies
/r/PurplePillDebate01/04/23 10:22 AM
1

This. From the male friends Ive had I notice that men are often wrong about why women aren’t interested. I had a tall guy friend that thought it was because he gained weight, weight that no one could see under his large t-shirt. It was really just his attitude, he was miserable person who didn’t take care of himself — just threw on any stained t-shirt. Always whining even to women who were interested in him. Just very negative energy. Or guys who don’t even talk to people wondering why they’re s…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/04/23 10:15 AM
1

Same. I’ve had times where I was attracted to someone at first. Went to sleep and woke up the next day repulsed by them. Something about them set me off. I wish I had followed that because twice I decided to still go out anywhere and they ended up being the weirdest…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/04/23 10:12 AM
2

They don’t even care if you really have anything in common. Just that you’re attractive until it becomes too obvious how different you two are. Some will even try to change you to fit what they want because they like your looks and think they can just change the rest
/r/PurplePillDebate01/04/23 10:02 AM
1

Is everyone in their 20s zoomers?
/r/PurplePillDebate01/04/23 10:00 AM
4

The guys that want to be in relationships with me tend to be good’ looking ones. This is why I don’t bother with guys who don’t approach me. Sometimes, it’s just about a guy being upfront about his feelings from the start and actually making a move to show he wants something more. The guys that you reached out to, you were even making it easier for them. There could be a bunch of other guys interested in me who won’t say anything.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/04/23 01:56 AM
1

She should join a group for her hobbies. E.g. an art class, nature walk group, dance etc etc She’ll meet people she’ll have something in common with instead of just randomly in the wild. Especially if she’s shy. I speak from experience but I’m not shy. I get approached for dates but I noticed that apart from looks/attraction I had nothing really in common with guys. There’s this guy that asked me to be his gf on the first date, good looking guy but I swear he did not like me. He’d make all these…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/04/23 12:28 AM
1

This sums up this entire subreddit honestly. There’s so much whining on here and the guys have convinced themselves everyone else is the problem
/r/PurplePillDebate01/04/23 12:21 AM
-1

There’s no such thing as a friendzone. Guys pretending to befriend you then telling you they have « feelings ». Next time be upfront
/r/PurplePillDebate01/04/23 12:08 AM
2

Don’t forget the guys who will just stick around because of sex. They’ll take you on dates but it’s nothing serious. Who wants to go on dates just to find out all he wanted was to hit it or disappears when he realizes you’re not trying to sleep with him ON THE FIRST DATE. Yeah, I’d rather do other things that I know make me happy.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/03/23 11:46 PM
2

It pissed him off. But I’m not going to randomly tell a guy « hey I’m just talking to you to be friendly » the sane way he was talking to me to but didn’t tell me it was because he was interested until it eventually came out (due to some other guy being upfront about his interest). Then another started getting tough about being « friendzoned » and it’s like I never said I was interested.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/03/23 09:48 AM
2

I mean I’ve kind of learned my lesson being friendly with men they take it the wrong way so I learned to keep to myself to avoid someone trying to come on to me. Not that you would but that’s the thought process
/r/PurplePillDebate27/03/23 11:28 PM
1

So you’re just posting anyone you think will sleep with you?
/r/PurplePillDebate27/03/23 10:35 PM
2

I try to tell them it’s ok but they insist on paying.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/03/23 10:25 PM
0

Ive tried to tell them it’s ok but they insist on spending so much money on the date so I thank them.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/03/23 10:24 PM
1

I don’t get how that’s different from how men approach. Both genders are approaching people they find attractive
/r/PurplePillDebate27/03/23 10:16 PM
3

This is true I’ve noticed with men. Friends would have to point out that a guy was interested in me because I just thought they were being friendly/nice. But I now realize after all these guys started coming out saying they’re into me that in general random men aren’t just friendly to be friendly. Lol. I think this is what confuses them because I can be totally friendly with a guy I think is cool or interesting to talk to and it’s not at all because I’m attracted to them or interested in a roman…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/03/23 10:13 PM
7

Yeah I see other women approach all the time but mostly when I’d go to clubs/pubs. But not even just there really, they try and flirt all the time with men. Maybe not as often but with guys seen as classically « attractive ». I noticed that when I went out with this guy, he started getting approached a lot more. It was funny because everytime I turned away he’d tell me how this new one was trying to approach him. For all they knew, he could have been my boyfriend lol but I guess they didn’t thin…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/03/23 10:08 PM
5

Exactly. I’ve noticed a lot of women complaining about guys wanting hookups in their 20s of all racial/cultural backgrounds while they wanted a relationship Honestly dating got easier for me as a woman once I left that 18-22 age range, started to meet more serious people.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/03/23 09:51 PM
2

Hmm
/r/PurplePillDebate27/03/23 09:49 PM
2

What was wrong with them? Did they say none of the guys wanted a relationship? It’s a two-way street
/r/PurplePillDebate27/03/23 09:28 PM
6

Got ‘em. Like they’re not even making sense. If only the small 20% (as they claim) are getting women than where did the other 80% of men come from ? Short men exist because women were procreating with short men, unattractive people exist, average people exist, do they actually look at couples when they go outside …
/r/PurplePillDebate27/03/23 09:23 PM
4

Women do a lot to make themselves appealing. The beauty industry isn’t a multi billion industry for nothing, relationship advice and books popularized in the media aren’t mostly directed toward women for no reason.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/03/23 09:19 PM
4

It’s the same reason men want women that don’t sleep around because it makes them feel special if she’s sleeping with him. Women know guys are just trying to sleep with anyone they find physically attractive and it’s not personal
/r/PurplePillDebate27/03/23 09:16 PM
-4

Plus, women are used to guys paying (or at least I am), so if a guys not paying for the date — I’m thinking he doesn’t really like me
/r/PurplePillDebate27/03/23 09:10 PM
9

If you think so lowly of her looks why are you dating her?
/r/PurplePillDebate27/03/23 09:08 PM
1

Especially if they’re also attracted to the person desiring them. People like to be physically desired yes, just like some guys like using money to impress women. But I’m sure if you only cared about their money or looks they wouldn’t like that
/r/PurplePillDebate27/03/23 04:09 PM
1

But it isn’t all of me, it’s like dealing with people who don’t care about you but want to invade your body which is as you said a part of you
/r/PurplePillDebate27/03/23 04:08 PM
1

I guess just different values.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/03/23 04:07 PM
3

Technically my ex and I slept together before entering in a relationship but I heard that you shouldn’t sleep with someone before entering a relationship because that’s how you end in situationship
/r/PurplePillDebate27/03/23 04:00 PM
1

That’s what I thought, if what he said was true — then why do people enter relationships and get married. I think he was saying that to get to me and you’re right it did and made me wreary of male attention even after we broke up I suddenly started getting approached a lot but his words ringed in my head.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/03/23 03:57 PM
1

That’s what I thought, if what he said was true — then why do people enter relationships and get married. I think he was saying that to get to me and you’re right it did and made me wreary of male attention even after we broke up I suddenly started getting approached a lot but his words ringed in my head.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/03/23 03:56 PM
2

I know you didn’t just compare sexual attention to the air we breathe. Relax. How is someone wanting to sleep with me helpful to me if I want a relationship?
/r/PurplePillDebate27/03/23 02:18 PM
0

It’s meaningless if I don’t want it. Knowing someone is talking to me because they want something out of me (my body/sex) and not because they’re genuinely interested in me as a person is shallow
/r/PurplePillDebate27/03/23 02:15 PM
1

It’s the same thing for women. You’re desired for your body and the possibility of providing sex.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/03/23 02:14 PM
2

Really? Because my ex told me when we were breaking up not to take any male attention I get go to my head because they all just wanted sex. That’s what I’ve been told as women
/r/PurplePillDebate27/03/23 02:13 PM
1

I always wondered how types develop. I notice my physical « type » is also what I attract a lot. So it makes me wonder which came first. Your situation makes sense if the type was the first person to respond positively to them but some people have a type they’ve never even dated
/r/PurplePillDebate27/03/23 02:12 PM
13

Do you think most women are on OnlyFans or IG models? Or is that just the women people notice? I go to parties to have fun and socialize not to sleep with someone for the night, but I guess many others do
/r/PurplePillDebate27/03/23 12:34 PM
2

I have. Unfortunately, I was just being friendly and hanging out as friends (we met in a group) and he took that as romantic interest. He tried to kiss me and I was like nope than later out-of-the-blue, he just grabbed my face and tried again. Don’t talk to him anymore. He was complaining about not wanting to be friendzoned like I ever expressed any interest in him outside of being friendly. Other guys will always reveal to having “feelings” for you when you’re just talking to them normally. I’m…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/03/23 11:48 AM
2

Or they act surprised that women want to date/sleep with men they are attracted to. Getting dates is easy when you’re attractive but that’s if you only care about looks. Doesn’t mean you’re compatible with the people you’re dating. But reading your comment helps me understand why guys act shocked when an attractive women is single, because they assume dating must be so easy for us.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/03/23 11:42 AM
5

I honestly think most men and women are selective but it comes out in different ways. Men may not be selective with sex but women don’t see it as a form of validation because of that fact that men ARENT selective with who they sleep with so it’s not a compliment.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/03/23 11:37 AM
6

Men buzzing their lines for sex. How flattering. Men giving me attention because they want to take me on dates and sleep with me…meaningless attention
/r/PurplePillDebate27/03/23 11:31 AM
4

Agreed. She’s hitting a lot of attention and money from people who want to sleep with her. As a woman, I try to avoid guys that think that buying me things will get me to sleep with them. I’m interested in building an actual relationship with someone not exchanging money/food for sex. This is what I don’t get when people here say women get a lot of attention. Yeah by guys who want to take us on dates to sleep with us. Ask them how many of those guys actually want a monogamous relationship
/r/PurplePillDebate27/03/23 11:20 AM
1

Real talk. I went on many dates after my last relationship. It was fun for a minute but then it gets boring. It’s cool meeting new people and hearing different perspectives tho
/r/PurplePillDebate27/03/23 11:14 AM
3

Many men have a type that person IS full of BS. Men are the main ones going on and on about their physical type whether it’s blondes or women with fat asses
/r/PurplePillDebate27/03/23 11:04 AM
12

Using their sexuality? So prostitution basically. Y’all are trying to say life is easier because women can turn to prostitution… I wonder why more women don’t do that hmmm
/r/PurplePillDebate27/03/23 11:02 AM
1

I dont sleep with them but after a guy brings up sex it’s hard to go back to just hanging out. I had male « friends » get mad at me for friendzoning them. A guy on a date who tries to get me back to his place is showing that he just wanted sex. He’s not going to want to just hang out with me. Yeah I’ve been vetting now by literally ignoring every guy that approaches me and asks me out. Lol. Yes I’ve met attractive guys that wanted relationships (those seem to be the main ones that want relations…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/03/23 11:47 AM
1

That’s the point, it’s mostly about physical attraction when you approach someone randomly that you don’t know. That makes sense if most men are approaching for sex anyway
/r/PurplePillDebate26/03/23 11:35 AM
1

This has been my experience. It’s mostly men commenting on me being single or trying to pressure me to date/be in a relationship. Women don’t bother me about it. This includes male relatives whereas my female relatives don’t seem to care as much
/r/PurplePillDebate26/03/23 02:39 AM
1

Thank you for getting it! It’s easy to find attractive people to date, but guys you’re actually compatible with? Unless you’re someone who only cares about looks… Just tired of guys asking why I’m single when I’m so beautiful.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/03/23 02:36 AM
1

I get asked out a lot after my last breakup. I was going on dates literally the week of the end of my last relationship. It’s like a world opened up and men just started approaching me a lot more. I got attention but how many of those guys actually wanted to seriously date vs just date to try and sleep with me? They didn’t actually care about me they just found me physically attractive
/r/PurplePillDebate26/03/23 02:26 AM
1

In my 20s and don’t have this massive social network. Haven’t had one since graduating. I don’t know where this idea that women have tons of friends and men don’t came from. The guys I dated had way more friends than me but still claimed to be lonely. Meanwhile I had like one close friend I talked to and I was fine
/r/PurplePillDebate26/03/23 02:20 AM
2

That's what I thought too and no one seems to be denying this so far...
/r/PurplePillDebate26/03/23 01:02 AM
2

you can say the same with men. I tend to attract men who are a few years older and they're always whining about some ex or women in general. After one 'failed' relationship, they become completely bitter and annoying to be around. Dating a guy that was younger was like breath of fresh air. We're all in our 20s as well.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/03/23 12:54 AM
1

We’ve gone too far on the extreme. I agree and we don’t really make a society that’s supportive of families, children and community in general. I think about it when I compare it to other countries where it seems like the community and extended family support the couple vs the focus on nuclear family unit alone. I think about marriage and it’s like do I really want to do it or is it just because people are pressuring me to feel like I’m inadequate as an individual if I’m single …
/r/PurplePillDebate25/03/23 08:19 PM
1

So basically the focus was solely on production/career. This is my experience with GEN X too. Except the marriage pressures came as soon as I entered my 20s and have only gotten stronger in my mid 20s. Maybe because I’m a woman
/r/PurplePillDebate25/03/23 08:17 PM
1

My depression symptoms increase when I’m unemployed. I’m not someone who can just be without a purpose. I need something to work towards outside of hobbies. Also, it’s not like you get more time to socialize when everyone else is working. So you just end up alone. Rather be working and making money. It’s nice to take a break from time to time. But you’ll get tired of it if it lasts more than a few weeks trust me
/r/PurplePillDebate25/03/23 08:15 PM
1

I wonder if this has to do more with people’s vibes than just looks. I’m sure attractive women with more reserved personalities might be taken differently than friendly approachable attractive women.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/03/23 07:29 PM
2

So basically younger women attract commitment-averse men who just want to sleep with them and feel less pressure to be married have kids.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/03/23 07:26 PM
4

As a woman, same. So even if you want to you don’t want to be seen as desperate. And if he wanted to approach you, he would.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/03/23 07:09 PM
2

Partially, I’m not the type to just approach someone randomly. I don’t fall for strangers. I’d need to know him. Meanwhile I’ve had men approach me after just seeing my face and knowing nothing about me as a person.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/03/23 07:02 PM
4

But if she’s quiet she’s not approaching men, so it’s a question of why it seems likely only the wrong people are approaching her. It seems like the more boisterous types are more likely to be straightforward about their interest.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/03/23 06:58 PM
2

I can confirm as a woman who’s more quiet/reflective. I always wondered why I seem to attract my opposite, the men I’ve dated are so talkative and emotionally expressive. It’s not even just that but outside of a mutual physical attraction we don’t have anything in common. My last relationship was an eye opener. I’ll admit, I’m very passive when it comes to dating. I do notice when I make an active effort like joining clubs related to my hobbies I find more guys that I actually share things in co…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/03/23 06:57 PM
5

There are risks to women approaching men. We’re told if he was really interested he would have approached us. So we don’t want to end up with uninterested men who are only agreeing because they figured they could sex out of it. They also risk being called thirsty, desperate, loose etc. But at the same time, it makes me thing because it’s not like the guys who are most likely to approach are any more serious anyway. They could just be approaching to use you, not really interested but pretending l…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/03/23 06:53 PM
1

Not really, my boyfriend is attractive af too. It takes more than looks though but compatibility matters too.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/12/22 11:53 PM
1

If I’m going on a date with him, he’s telling me I’m beautiful. We kiss, hold hands, he puts his arm around me when we sit. I’d feel fine. I don’t take a guy showing that he wants to have sex with me as him finding me attractive, moreso if he wants to be in a relationship (that means he clicks with me and finds me attractive). A guy trying to have sex with me doesn’t validate my beauty. I actually wonder if the guys trying to sleep with me so early are just horny and it really has nothing to do …
/r/PurplePillDebate15/12/22 11:10 PM
1

I’m always the one doing the blocking afterwards lol. Never been ghosted like that. So no that not my concern really but it’s more of I just want to get to know the person before sleeping with them. I dated people that I liked at first that I ended up getting to know and was wow I don’t like them (after having deeper conversations that demonstrated our values, intelligence). I do it when I want to and I feel comfortable. It’s not something you can force or rush, that’s how you end up in crash an…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/12/22 08:51 PM
2

Exactly and so it’s like you end up not wasting time on a first date with a stranger because you already know you guys vibe enough to go on a date
/r/PurplePillDebate12/12/22 08:45 PM
0

That logic is horrible unless you only want a sexual relationship. I’m going to assume you just want a hookup and block you after the date. Even if I find you attractive, I want to get to know you. Sexual compatibility is better with communication and when you get to know someone not someone you went on one date with. I mean the sex could be good and then you realize you’re not that compatible but staying together and entering a relationship for the wrong reason
/r/PurplePillDebate12/12/22 02:08 AM
1

You’re spitting facts. Men who push for sex on the first date are weird. I’ve noticed this in real life guys think it’s their looks when really it’s their negative attitudes. They’re already approaching the situation thinking they won’t like them. Projecting their insecurities on to others
/r/PurplePillDebate12/12/22 02:04 AM
1

True. I’ve had guys ask me why am I single if I’m so pretty. They kept asking like they were trying to find out if I was secretly crazy or something
/r/PurplePillDebate12/12/22 01:56 AM
1

I agree with you. I met some that o had chemistry with but there’d be times I felt like I wasted my time, because although he was good-looking I wasn’t attracted to him. He wasn’t my type, I didn’t like his voice or his vibe or felt awkward. The guy I met in real life were easier to talk to because they kind of filtered themselves out naturally
/r/PurplePillDebate12/12/22 01:52 AM
1

I had a male friend say the guy I was dating was a simp for buying me jewellery without sleeping with me first…I think the word “simp” is overused. I do wonder this because I’ve dated guys who found me attractive but tried to change aspects of my personality but wouldn’t leave me alone. It’s like do you really like me or just my looks? Being with those people feels so hollow. They’re shallow
/r/PurplePillDebate11/12/22 11:14 PM
7

Exactly. I don’t get what’s so great about having sex with a bunch of randoms… just to have sex. Sounds empty Men in relationships live longer and are healthier anyways
/r/PurplePillDebate11/12/22 11:11 PM
2

I agree. I’ve been on dates with guys that I could see were good looking but for some reason I wasn’t attracted to them or felt chemistry. I do have to find them personally attractive to have chemistry
/r/PurplePillDebate11/12/22 11:09 PM
4

This is true. i need to see him in motion - his personality, how he interacts with people, his voice, his smell — I can’t just base it on pictures and words on a screen. Online dating just seems so superficial. There was this guy recently that is actually a musician I listen to but never really payed attention to his face until I saw him on a show I watched and realized he’s actually really attractive. It was just the way he moved and talked, his whole persona. It made him 10x more attractive. M…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/12/22 11:07 PM
1

That last point is interesting because I actually prefer it when a guy doesn’t try to sleep with me on the first date. We can kiss but would be overjoyed if he didn’t try to get me back to his place by the 3rd date. I wouldn’t friendzone him, I’d be relieved. I’ve ghosted many men for being too forward on the first or second date. I don’t think it’s wrong to want to talk to someone daily when dating. I say this as an introvert but it’d be weird if I didn’t talk to my ex for days, we enjoyed comm…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/12/22 10:58 PM
1

I love that you bring up that it’s about sexual access and that just because these guys are interested in dating you. It’s not even genuine interest in you as a person
/r/PurplePillDebate30/10/22 02:02 AM
1

I used to be a barista. Maybe I never noticed baristas getting harassed while I was visiting coffee shops but I swear when I was a barista I got hit on so much it was actually confusing because I don’t even get hit on that much on my daily life (unless I’m at some party or social gathering). I was just being friendly/smiling because it was my job and the guys would just hit on you. One even tried to proposition me … while I was working. I’ve also been part of hobby groups where I was friendly to…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/10/22 01:51 AM
1

Meanwhile I've been avoiding sex since my last relationship until I find someone I actually connect with. Again different responses
/r/seduction01/08/22 10:14 PM
1

it’s always interesting to see how people reacted heartbreak differently. Why not just cool it on dating for awhile?
/r/seduction01/08/22 09:52 PM
1

This 👆
/r/seduction01/08/22 09:23 PM
3

Like I don’t understand … OP sounds disgusted at them for doing the same things he’s doing..
/r/seduction01/08/22 09:22 PM
6

First time in this sub but found this interesting. And honestly as a woman that was my first thought, that the sex must have been really bad. That’s why I’m not impressed by a guy who has a bunch of ONS and no repeats, it could be because none of them wants to go through that again lol. Looks just helps you attract people, you still need skill
/r/seduction01/08/22 08:46 PM
9

They get that idea from watching too much p0rn and anime. That should tell how sick in the head they are that they think some cartoons and paid actors reflect the everyday Asian woman.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/03/21 02:09 AM
28

The same way people portray women as desperate for marriage yet according to statistics marriage benefits men more (they live longer, are healthier, and happier while it’s the reverse for us). It’s actually men, I noticed that it’s men who can’t stand to be alone. People think since a lot of men are anti-commitment that they don’t benefit from relationships, yet even the guys who say they’re “single” I notice are still messing with someone. When I was in my early 20s and only wanted to casually …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/03/21 11:42 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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