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Pmoneywhazzup Archive

View 0 posts and 186 comments by Pmoneywhazzup on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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1

Damn dude! Did you make that up or is that what you experienced? And yes, many of these guys are either lying to the OP out of shame, lying to themselves, or they are relatively young and the wife hasn't discovered that she has been unhappy all along. Nothing else can explain the 50% divorce rate. We are NOT the "exceptions." And many unhappy couples who don't divorce hate each other and sleep in separate bedrooms to save face for religious, reputational, financial, or other reasons. I know seve…
/r/Divorce_Men26/07/26 07:35 PM
2

If you don’t her to take your child across the country, you better talk to a lawyer now. And a therapist to help you figure out what you want to do. If she leaves and you sit around feeling sorry for yourself while she is establishing residency there, it will be harder to have a judge order her to bring your kid back. Act NOW.
/r/Divorce_Men26/07/26 11:37 AM
3

Go to the child support enforcement office in the state/county where she is located and file a claim. In many states this is a division of the local prosecutor’s office. They will not charge you for their services. I assume you can prove you have custody of your son. Do you know where she works and her home address? This will help them serve her with the CS petition. Eventually they should garnish her wages and send the money to you. Go do this now. Good luck.
/r/Divorce_Men23/07/26 06:21 PM
5

I consulted this sub also. Replaced therapy for me. I’m doing great now - I’m two years out from the final divorce order.
/r/Divorce_Men22/07/26 03:03 AM
2

At least you are honest enough with yourself to admit your mistake. I’m 59 years old and I’ve never met a woman like your ex. Did you apologize to her?
/r/Divorce_Men21/07/26 12:21 PM
6

Ex wives and girlfriends tell this lie about wanting to be "alone" because they want to spare us the pain from the knowledge of being dumped for another guy. I'm 59 and been dumped a few times. Every single time it's been for another guy, but I didn't learn of the other guy until later. This is called "monkey branching" by the red pill guys. In divorces, most of us on this sub learn that there was another guy. Not 100%, but I'd bet it's at least 80%. Men learn too late in life that women lie and…
/r/Divorce_Men21/07/26 07:25 AM
4

Most family lawyers will give you an initial free consultation. Use this to get some general parameters of what might be in store if you decide to leave. Many men on this sub have been through custody battles, accusations of DV and more. You can use this sub as a resource for support, but you also need legal advice.
/r/Divorce_Men18/07/26 07:30 PM
1

Not in TX, but my ex-wife and I both agreed to have life insurance policies for X amount to be paid to the other until our youngest finishes college or age 25, whichever comes first. I’m not sure if it’s in the state statutes, but we had no problem agreeing to it.
/r/Divorce_Men14/07/26 09:55 PM
1

The longer you wait, the worse the divorce will be, financially and emotionally. She is never going to be financially responsible — you know that. You are also headed for a real dead bedroom. There are guys on this sub that haven’t had sex with their wives in 20-30 years. I’m serious. She is also at the point where she is losing respect for you, if she isn’t already there. In most US states, even with 50/50 custody, if you make significantly more than her, you will pay child support. Your real i…
/r/Divorce_Men13/07/26 03:30 AM
5

I was also married to a woman who I believe to be a narcissist. Everyone thinks she was the innocent church girl, and I was the lying cheating asshole who traded her in for a younger woman. The truth is, I never cheated on her once and I left because I couldn't take her treatment any longer. Unless you have actual evidence of what she's done, no one will believe you. Based on my profession, I am very well aware of how to present evidence, but I don't care anymore and I suggest you do the same. M…
/r/Divorce_Men12/07/26 03:18 PM
3

Almost exactly one year.
/r/Divorce_Men08/07/26 06:50 PM
1

Almost exactly one year.
/r/Divorce_Men08/07/26 06:50 PM
2

To be fair, you are talking to a bunch of dudes who are already divorced, and most of whom were dumped by their wives. Keep that in mind. You said she has had one foot out of the door, but you have also stated that she has responded to your attempts to “step it up.” Since you are still concerned that she is contemplating leaving, I would suggest marital counseling. Normally, I think it is offered by the husband when the wife has already made up her mind to leave, but in your case it may not be t…
/r/Divorce_Men08/07/26 02:39 PM
2

They will fade. Like you, I left her. Had sex dreams on a semi-regular basis for the first few months. Today it’s been about two years since the divorce was final. I can’t remember the last time I’ve dreamed about her.
/r/Divorce_Men07/07/26 10:14 AM
3

This is close to what we did. She stays in the house for four years (two years are left!) and I pay her about 1/3 of the mortgage payments until our daughter graduates from high school, then we sell and split the proceeds. I got out of what would have been 15 years of alimony by doing this — I’m surprised she accepted it! She can also decide to buy me out if she wants. Win-win, but especially a win for me. She loves that house, and I hated it. I recognized the risk of staying on the mortgage, bu…
/r/Divorce_Men06/07/26 07:06 PM
6

There are great comments here. Do you have kids with her? If not, once the divorce is final, you will probably never have to speak to her again. I left my wife after 18 years of disrespect, and I only hesitate to call it abuse because of my male ego. I don’t claim to have been a perfect husband, but objectively I did what I was supposed to do. Since I left, all her family, friends, colleagues and our church congregation think I am a selfish asshole who is going through a mid-life crisis. How do …
/r/Divorce_Men05/07/26 01:17 PM
15

I think the only mistake I failed to make while dating after divorce was marrying a single mother. Thank God I at least had the sense to not do that. I do understand the temptation, so I am not criticizing Teddy. Every man needs to read Teddy’s answer. I dated one for a few months, and it was the best sex I ever had, bar none. She was broke as a joke, and was looking for a white knight. When women are sufficiently motivated, they can appear to be the woman of your dreams - super nice to you, no …
/r/Divorce_Men04/07/26 03:22 PM
5

I like this take. Maybe wait until the kid starts school. The odds are very high that you will not make it until the kid reaches 18. Also, there might be nights when you have sex with her - you are human. Surprise! Baby number two. Now that I think about it more, get the hell out of there. DNA test, and if you are the daddy, you can be a great dad without being married to the wrong woman.
/r/Divorce_Men03/07/26 12:48 PM
8

I will also repeat it. Schedule a vasectomy consult now.
/r/Divorce_Men03/07/26 12:47 AM
3

I do not buy that, across the board, older men are overestimating their PHYSICAL attractiveness. I am an older man, and I do NOT believe I am attractive to most women, especially younger women, despite being in excellent shape for my age. Since I don’t date younger women, I don’t think about this much. I do have male friends my age (50s) who date significantly younger women. We openly joke that the young women are with them for their money (we are high-earning professionals, but not “ballers” wi…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/07/26 12:41 AM
3

Sorry, man. I wish young guys with “love” in their heart would listen to us when we tell them not to get married. Come to think of it, shit, I was also warned!
/r/Divorce_Men27/06/26 08:30 PM
9

100% this. I am also an attorney and I completed my divorce two years ago. Don't move out now, and avoid conflict as much as you can. I know this is easier said than done. I slept in the attic for almost two years during the "separation" to make sure I didn't screw myself by moving out prematurely. This will be difficult financially and emotionally, but it will be worth it.
/r/Divorce_Men23/06/26 10:46 AM
8

We exchange custody of our daughter once a week. Most of the time we will not share a room when we do this. Other than things like graduation, moving into the college dorm, maybe a wedding — I do not want to speak to her or see her ever again. This is very common.
/r/Divorce_Men17/06/26 01:32 AM
5

This is a short marriage. The financial hit shouldn’t be that bad if you end this. I felt like this about my ex-wife- the majority of the time she was a mean bitch to me as well. Are you going to deal with this for the rest of your life? Also, I doubt that she loves you. You know what you need to do. Time to man up.
/r/Divorce_Men15/06/26 02:56 AM
8

You are making a fool of yourself. Her friends and her are laughing at you. And, every time you ask her to come back you disgust her and push her even further away. Yes, I’ve begged a woman to come back, as most guys on this sub have. There are 4 billion women on this planet. Find one that wants you, not your STBXW.
/r/Divorce_Men15/06/26 01:24 AM
5

Spousal support is the modern term for alimony. Same thing.
/r/Divorce_Men01/06/26 09:24 PM
5

Unless she is unfit - especially as a woman (bias still exists in family court) — think drug addiction, record of child abuse, violent felonies, etc., if she wants custody, she will get at least partial custody. Obviously, don’t take my word for it, get a lawyer this week. I would not go for full custody unless you believe your son will truly be in danger when he is with her. All you will do is piss off the judge with unfounded bullshit. Since STBXW makes more, in most US States, she will pay ch…
/r/Divorce_Men01/06/26 08:32 PM
13

I’m divorced, and I will not marry again. The OP’s position is harsh and cynical, but it is understandable based on the experiences of most on this sub. If there are only two doors before you, and you must pick one, and dozens of guys are emerging from one of the doors bleeding and limping, the odds are you will choose the other door. I struggle with whether I should tell my son not to get married. So many marriages don’t work out, but some do. I still believe (perhaps idiotically) that being in…
/r/Divorce_Men31/05/26 05:33 PM
5

I would have felt used and like a fool. The things we do for love.
/r/Divorce_Men31/05/26 12:40 PM
–

Again, this true for plenty of men but not all men. Example — Jeff Bezos (Amazon) is one of the richest men on the planet. Billions and billions of dollars. I forgot the name of the woman he just married, but she is no spring chicken. He could have married a 21 year old if he wanted to, but he didn’t. I bet he doesn’t think he “settled” for her because he couldn’t attract a younger woman.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/05/26 09:58 PM
2

No. 99% of the time, when you tell her you are leaving and she promises to change, the changes are temporary. She can’t help but be who she is.
/r/Divorce_Men30/05/26 06:19 PM
7

Please do not get married again. If you are tempted to do it in the future, and you might because women can be very persuasive when they are motivated to do so, I sentence you to 12 hours of reading this sub.
/r/Divorce_Men30/05/26 05:11 PM
–

I am saying that ALL older men are not holding out for women that are 20 years younger. The downvotes I am receiving for saying this reveals how deep this stereotype goes. Regardless of the shit they talk online, many of those red pill influencers are married or living with women near their own age. Go to church, the movies, restaurants. You will see plenty of couples around the same age. This is related to the woman TikTokers that say they will only accept a man making six figures who is six fe…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/05/26 04:52 PM
–

I absolutely agree with your last point. Finding a suitable person FOR YOU on a dating app is difficult for all of us. Quantity is not quality.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/05/26 12:10 PM
–

I did not say that men messaging you on a dating app means they like you. You put words in my mouth. They don't even know you. You seem angry.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/05/26 12:05 PM
–

Your father is one person. Extrapolating the motives of all men from his one example is not a very strong argument for the point I think you are trying to make. My ex-wife was extremely selfish and would not do something if it did not directly benefit her. All women are extremely selfish because she was? This is lazy thinking. And men will date a woman they don't like for sex? Yes, some will. But this is not a refutation of my point that many men will not reject older women. Some red pill points…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/05/26 09:44 AM
–

I'm an older man. You are being overly influenced by men talking shit about not wanting older women. Go visit the "dating over 40" and "dating over 50" subs. You will find many women discussing that their inboxes are full of men that want to date them. There are many older women influencers on TikTok that discuss their dating lives, and many have multiple dates in a week. Yes, many men prefer younger women. And many date women their age or even older. My point is, you can find, and focus on, wha…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/05/26 08:34 AM
1

I feel the same way as you regarding the kids' events, and I also can't stand to be in the same room as her. But you can pick and choose how you show up for your kids. I agree with Nearby-Cut. You can navigate this in a way that reduces your blood pressure. I just helped our son move out of his dorm. Each of us had boxes in our hands and took them to our respective cars. Once done, she drove her car and I drove mine. No chit chat, no arguing. At celebratory dinners or events thrown by her, I wil…
/r/Divorce_Men30/05/26 08:16 AM
10

To a degree I understand why people feel blindsided. I'm an old guy and I left my ex-wife three years ago, divorce has been final for two. I would complain/suggest different behavior from her from the early days of the marriage and these requests were met with rejection and indifference. Her favorite saying was, "This is who I am, deal with it." My frustration and resentment grew over time and I made the decision that I was going to leave but our kids were toddlers. I did not want another man to…
/r/Divorce_Men30/05/26 08:02 AM
1

Ok, genius.
/r/Divorce_Men27/05/26 04:00 PM
0

If he is innocent of wrongdoing, he would want a recording(s) to corroborate his version of events. Otherwise, it might be her word against his. In those cases, who is more likely to be believed, her or him? I have 30 years of courtroom experience. You?
/r/Divorce_Men27/05/26 03:58 PM
1

Who said only one recording was at issue?
/r/Divorce_Men27/05/26 03:50 PM
0

I have a contrary opinion. The recordings protect you. Read this sub for a few hours; you will read men complaining that their wives falsely accused them of this or that. Wouldn’t it be nice to have a recording to prove what really happened? I would agree to it. Hell, if the divorce seems to be of the high-conflict variety, I’d add video cameras to the list.
/r/Divorce_Men27/05/26 10:48 AM
7

Totally agree. Do not sit in the house and feel sorry for yourself, most of us have been through this. Burn that energy off in positive ways. It will get better in time.
/r/Divorce_Men15/05/26 01:05 PM
6

Disgusting!
/r/Divorce_Men05/05/26 03:52 PM
4

Congrats! I bet you feel like you’ve just been released from prison. I have two more years of payments to go, actually 25 more payments. Then we sell the house (she’s living in it), or she buys me out. I’m going to throw a party.
/r/Divorce_Men01/05/26 06:02 PM
3

I’m going to use that line!
/r/Divorce_Men01/05/26 03:00 PM
4

Give it time. You will see other women.
/r/Divorce_Men30/04/26 10:29 PM
4

She’d have to get a personality transplant.
/r/Divorce_Men30/04/26 01:00 AM
2

I believe this is spot on. She is either already seeing other dudes and/or she will see him on the next "work trip." You don't realize it yet, but your marriage is already over - no sex in years? Yes, it's over. Time to face it; we've all been there. No, it's not easy, but it's time to get on with your life. Start talking to an attorney to see what the finances might look like. See a therapist if you feel yourself slipping into a depression. There is light at the end of the tunnel. I've been div…
/r/Divorce_Men29/04/26 06:30 PM
5

In addition to most things mentioned here, if she goes on any trips: work, family or “girls” trips, she is meeting that fool. Sorry, man. Most of us have been there and it hurts. I’d be convinced with just the secretive phone behavior. Start getting ready. At least consult with an attorney to start thinking about the process. If she ultimately admits the affair, and you take her back, she’ll cheat again, probably with her current boyfriend.
/r/Divorce_Men25/04/26 09:28 PM
9

We can’t erase the kids. But if the kids weren’t part of the equation, there is no way in hell I would have married her if time machines existed.
/r/Divorce_Men18/04/26 05:51 PM
6

I did what you are doing from about year four of the marriage until our youngest was in high school. There is no perfect time to leave. I tried to last until the youngest graduated, but I couldn’t do it.
/r/Divorce_Men18/04/26 05:47 PM
2

I’m one of those “in shape” older dudes. I work out with other oldsters. In my group, only one chases 20-year olds. Most of us are not delusional. Most understand that, maybe not 99%, but most young girls don’t want us, unless it’s a pure sugar daddy-baby situation. To correct one thing you said that is wrong — straight men do not work out for the admiration of other men. This admiration could be a by-product of being in shape, but it is not the motivation for it. We enjoy being in shape because…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/04/26 03:38 PM
3

Correct! I dug deep researching this after my divorce. I am convinced that most of the time, they really don’t know why they lose attraction to us. When you examine their excuses carefully, they fall apart. Esther Perel and others have written extensively about this phenomenon, if you care to spend time exploring it. The red pill guys talk about men “holding frame” and “being an alpha” to prevent this, but it’s all bullshit. Over time, 95% of them lose attraction to us regardless of what we do. …
/r/Divorce_Men15/04/26 03:50 PM
2

If she kills someone, your marital assets would be at risk. I would call the cops if this happens again.
/r/Divorce_Men14/04/26 04:34 AM
1

Find out if in your state or jurisdiction, "living separately" could mean a separate part of the house. It worked for me in my state.
/r/Divorce_Men14/04/26 02:44 AM
1

Ask your teenager what they would prefer. Their opinion should count. My ex-wife and I trade our 16 year old every week. We end up with irregular weeks at least once a week month due to various things that come up. I would not go to the mat over this issue.
/r/Divorce_Men13/04/26 11:34 PM
4

Ultimately, I blame myself. We had a long distance relationship for two years before the wedding. I thought I knew her, but I didn’t. We were older, so we intentionally got pregnant right after the wedding, followed by a second kid almost immediately. During these two pregnancies, I saw who she really was and I was very disappointed, to say the least. I couldn’t bring myself to leave her with two babies, so I stayed. I emotionally withdrew from her and focused on being the best dad I could be. I…
/r/Divorce_Men13/04/26 01:11 AM
3

My divorce was final two years ago. Last night I dreamed about her in that context. Like you, I do not want her back. Shit happens.
/r/Divorce_Men06/04/26 01:20 AM
3

You will get used to the days you don’t have him. I know you don’t believe me now, but the day will come when you look forward to his mom-time after you adjust to the new status-quo and you have me-time activities planned for those days. My daughter will be here tomorrow through next week (we have 50/50 custody) and I have the chessboard ready to go for us. But tonight I have a nice thing coming over for activities that do not involve a chessboard. It took me two years to get to this point.
/r/Divorce_Men04/04/26 05:26 PM
4

I disagree with you regarding kids not remembering what parents repeatedly say. My parents divorced back when the mother would typically receive full custody and the father would receive “visitation” rights. I remember everything both parents said about the divorce as an 8-year old child and beyond. I also remember everything both parents said about visits, money, etc. and what actually occurred. Kids are sponges. They remember everything, especially about stressful situations.
/r/Divorce_Men04/04/26 03:14 PM
6

Only time will do it. It might take longer than you think.
/r/Divorce_Men01/04/26 10:02 PM
3

Whatever you decide to do, don’t be afraid. Short marriage plus no kids, maybe you will pay a little bit in the property settlement, maybe a year or two in alimony and you will be completely rid of her. No need for lubricants.
/r/Divorce_Men30/03/26 03:10 PM
2

Wow. Took his bed. That is some sad shit. And they think we are more selfish than they are.
/r/Divorce_Men25/03/26 03:32 PM
2

You would need to make a very strong case about this “bad company.” Open illegal drug use by her and the guy? Are the kids being abandoned when with her? What would the kids say if they had to testify?
/r/Divorce_Men27/02/26 09:36 PM
3

Stop having sex with her. Now. Pregnancy will screw up everything.
/r/Divorce_Men27/02/26 08:11 PM
0

I’m an attorney with 30 years experience and I communicate with attorneys throughout the US. Your information in this area is out-of-date. While “joint custody” language does not appear in most of the state statutes (yet) this IS the trend. Most statutes contain language regarding “the best interest of the child(ren)” Judges are increasingly ruling that joint custody is in the best interest of the child. Yes, there are exceptions on occasion. You have been listening to too much red pill bullshit…
/r/Divorce_Men27/02/26 06:40 PM
-1

No. 3 is not true in the US anymore. Most jurisdictions are moving to a default 50/50 custody model, even in SAHM spouse situations. Unless there are things like a demonstrably unfit parent, or a parent has a job requiring extensive travel, etc, this is becoming the norm.
/r/Divorce_Men27/02/26 04:39 PM
1

I guess you would think I am stupid and pitiful. I am 58 (M) and I am amused at your post. Perhaps part of this is the generation (perhaps two) gap. Yes, here it comes — ha ha — when I was young, before I was married, I would approach an attractive woman anywhere (except perhaps at a doctor’s office). 99% of the time, I would receive a respectful response, even if it was NO. I’ve been divorced now for a couple of years and my old ass decided to start dating again. Yes, I am in shape and still ha…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/02/26 06:33 AM
1

If you can’t communicate with him now, you could perhaps ask the judge to give him a letter from you (the judge would read it first) explaining things in a non-inflammatory manner. You could also write him a letter when he graduates, explaining that you’d like to be a part of his life.
/r/Divorce_Men23/02/26 06:14 AM
2

If there is some, it won’t be much, or for very long. Try not to worry about it. Getting out early and before kids, when you know it’s over, is smart.
/r/Divorce_Men23/02/26 01:18 AM
8

She is never going to just “decide” that she wants to touch you again. Do you want to be roommates with her, like the Golden Girls, for the rest of your life?
/r/Divorce_Men18/02/26 08:03 PM
2

Where are they going, Fiji? That’s some expensive airfare for a pre-planned trip. Find cheaper airfare, and make a reasonable contribution, absent specific language in the divorce order.
/r/Divorce_Men18/02/26 01:39 PM
3

Many of the men on this sub, while also imperfect, married the wrong woman. I don’t agree with a lot of the red pill stuff, but I do agree with this — men are in love with their wives, and we tend to take a lot of bullshit from them, cheating, abuse, etc. before we can finally let that love go. Many women marry men they do not love. They marry for practical reasons - a hard working man will take care of them and their kids. Unfortunately, you fall into this category. Your ex- wife is a damaged p…
/r/Divorce_Men16/02/26 04:29 PM
3

No. We are fundamentally incompatible. The list of things she would need to change is so long that it would be impossible for her to change that much.
/r/Divorce_Men13/02/26 02:11 PM
2

Sometimes we have to accept that despite our best efforts, we were unable to hold our marriage together. If she doesn't want to be married to you any longer, you must accept it and begin the process of moving on. It appears that you do not have children, which will make this a bit easier, but not easy. If you need to speak to a therapist to help you process this, go ahead and do so. But you also need to contact an attorney when you decide that you are ready to do that. Remember, there are many, …
/r/Divorce_Men10/02/26 04:20 PM
1

Lawyer in the US here. In my state, you could agree to move to a residence in the school district with appropriate accommodations for your children — the fact that you are currently (and temporarily) living outside of the district will not prevent you from getting 50/50 custody. Other factors might. Hire an experienced family lawyer now and do not take advice from anyone here.
/r/Divorce_Men09/02/26 09:23 PM
15

Even if some money from the separate inheritance account was transferred into a marital account, that doesn’t mean the inheritance account is now a marital account. That’s not how commingling works; her lawyer is grasping at straws. Source - a lawyer (me).
/r/Divorce_Men03/02/26 09:56 PM
1

Do they have kids? Who makes more? How long have they been married? Also, what you have described regarding the fake purchases are fraudulent conveyances. Do not mention this anymore on the internet or on text messages of any kind.
/r/Divorce_Men02/02/26 05:43 PM
14

To a degree, respect means different things to different people. I gave my ex-wife specific examples of things I found disrespectful. One of many examples was turning her back to me when I was trying to have a serious conversation with her. Openly ignoring me. Criticizing me in front of her friends in an attempt to embarrass me. I do believe, as you suggest, that men and women have different concepts for disrespect.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/01/26 01:35 PM
18

I agree, some of the red pill stuff is bullshit but they are right about this. We will be doormats because we love them. I divorced my wife for many reasons, but these reasons can be summed up with one word - disrespect. I would warn her that she was being disrespectful and she denied it too many times. When I walked out, she was shocked. She told me she had never been dumped before, and I do believe her. We’ve been divorced for two years and she, and her friends, think I will come back one day.…
/r/PurplePillDebate31/01/26 12:59 PM
6

You said you are committed to figuring it out. Figuring what out? How to get her to stop disrespecting and abusing you? If you haven’t figured it out by now, you need help. Not from us, but from a professional. My ex-wife disrespected me. I told her how she did it with concrete examples. She was in denial. I suggested counseling. She said no, all I needed to do is follow her orders. I divorced her ass, and she still doesn’t understand why I left. Be a man and demand change or counseling.
/r/Divorce_Men31/01/26 12:33 PM
1

Your friends, if they are really Chads, are lying to you. I’m not saying it’s a common occurrence, but it does happen. And I’m not talking about 250 pounders!
/r/PurplePillDebate30/01/26 08:35 PM
1

You do not have experience as a Chad. We have a different life experience than average guys. I get that you don’t believe me, but if you know a real Chad, ask him. I’ve done it in situations where a 3 might walk up to me in the bar and grab my junk. Yes, this happens, even now on occasion - I keep myself in better shape than 98% of dudes my age. I might see something in the way she walks, sounds, or acts, that makes me think it might be fun to have sex with her. It’s not all about looks. Some of…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/01/26 08:28 PM
1

This is wrong. I’m old now, but used to be a Chad and hung out with other Chads. Chad will sleep with a 3 on the right (or wrong) day.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/01/26 08:14 PM
1

Try mediation if possible; believe me, it would be cheaper than a trial. The mediator (who is usually a lawyer) or her lawyer, if you both have lawyers, will explain to her the likely outcome at a full-blown trial. If she is reasonable (I know, I know) she will agree to a fair settlement.
/r/Divorce_Men22/01/26 04:11 AM
13

I am a lawyer. Consult with a lawyer; do it before you start counseling. No one says you have to file for a divorce now. Have knowledge of your numbers and hers before you meet with them. They could give you general parameters of what spousal and child support might be. In most states, there are formulas that are used to determine assumed SS and CS payments, with SS usually determined by years married and income disparity, and CS determined by income disparity and the custody split, e.g. 50/50. …
/r/Divorce_Men21/01/26 12:53 AM
7

Is she starting therapy too? If so, make sure you demand the things you need in the relationship, including intimacy. If she cannot do it, you have your answer.
/r/Divorce_Men06/01/26 04:45 PM
4

She is selfish, that will never change. Cut the dead weight. Short marriage means that any spousal support won’t last too long. She’ll have to get a job, then you can possibly have the court lower your child support.
/r/Divorce_Men06/01/26 12:04 AM
8

I am a lawyer. Not here to defend all lawyers. I divorced my wife two years ago, and I hired a lawyer. I took his counsel, but I was in control of the process from the beginning. I had to push his ass to do certain things. I am not a divorce lawyer, so I researched the divorce process in my state, including using widely available online calculators for property division, spousal support (alimony) and child support to have a very good idea of what would happen in litigation if we did not reach a …
/r/Divorce_Men04/01/26 02:06 AM
7

I think 25% means 50% of his share.
/r/Divorce_Men04/01/26 01:49 AM
6

Write him a letter. Express your concerns for him, then explain to him how difficult it is to see him like this. Make sure the emphasis is on him, not you. Remind him of the good times you used to have with each other and tell him that you want those days to return. Ask him what you can do to help him get his mojo back. Assure him that you are there for the long haul; do not suggest that he needs to shape up “or else.” No ultimatums. I wish my ex-wife cared about me as much as you obviously care…
/r/Divorce_Men02/01/26 09:06 PM
4

I did something like this during my divorce (and I am a lawyer). In my state, a spouse can waive alimony/spousal support. I knew she wanted the house, so we agreed that I’d pay half the mortgage for four years in lieu of alimony, then she would buy me out of my half of the equity. Like you, I was absolutely opposed to paying that unfair bullshit (in our case, she has a well-paying job, but I made twice as much, so the alimony formula would have had me paying alimony for 18 years!). Judges take a…
/r/Divorce_Men02/01/26 08:23 PM
1

Absolutely. And i know you mentioned a dead bedroom - but do not, even once, sleep with her. No new babies!
/r/Divorce_Men01/01/26 09:26 PM
4

I decided to divorce (even though I still loved her) when I finally realized why I was so unhappy with her. She never respected me, and she thought she was better than me. I was in denial up to that point.
/r/Divorce_Men29/12/25 04:40 PM
3

Damn, man. That is fucked up.
/r/Divorce_Men29/12/25 04:37 PM
15

I am a lawyer, but not a divorce lawyer. I planned my exit from my ungrateful bitch of a wife over two years out. I talked to my divorce lawyer friends and strategized like a MF. Moved money around and encouraged her to take a promotion and work a second job so that my child support and alimony would be less. Ended up paying zero alimony even though I made more than twice what she did. Do what they do - plan, plan, plan ahead of time.
/r/Divorce_Men13/12/25 10:04 PM
25

As a guy, this is exactly how I feel about some women. I met an attractive woman at a party recently; I believe most men would find her attractive. She made comments to me that suggested she wanted to get to know me better. I left the party without getting any contact information from her. A mutual friend (who happens to be a woman) expressed shock that I was not interested in the woman. I explained to her that, yes she is attractive, but my conversation with her revealed that I was not sexually…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/11/25 01:28 PM
3

Good. Kick her to the curb. Remember, no sex - no pregnancies!
/r/Divorce_Men07/11/25 02:02 AM
4

I don’t mean this in a smart-ass way, but why do you stay with her?
/r/Divorce_Men07/11/25 12:39 AM
1

This is very smart, conservative and reminiscent of what saved me when I planned for my divorce five years out. Yes, I hated her and planned my exit ahead of time. I started maxing my 401k contributions and investing primarily in the S&P 500. When I filed I knew she'd get half but the market has been my friend since the final divorce decree. Two more years in my shit apartment, then I will be in a great position for the rest of my life. It was not easy, but we can recover from divorce and be hap…
/r/Divorce_Men04/11/25 03:02 PM
2

I like your post and can relate to a lot of it. I was married for 18 years, and I share your attitude regarding my ex - I do not hate her, and I accept responsibility for choosing her to be my wife. We have two almost grown kids, and we co-parent without major issues. Like you, I am embracing my new freedom and I am excited about what life has in store for me. I do not hate women, but I doubt I’ll get married again - not because I am anti-relationship, but I am pro-freedom!
/r/Divorce_Men24/10/25 01:12 AM
5

You are right. Demand 50% of all assets. Don’t be a simp.
/r/Divorce_Men19/10/25 05:08 PM
6

This is my philosophy too. I will enjoy them for as long as it works for ME, understanding that it will probably not be “forever.” When and if she starts with the bullshit, I AM OUT. Find another one and repeat.
/r/Divorce_Men17/10/25 02:18 PM
11

Someone mentioned menopause. Bullshit. Can menopause explain emotional swings and physical challenges - yes. I believe her cold reaction to you that horrible day had nothing to do with menopause. When a wife checks out of the marriage she no longer sees you, no longer sympathizes, or empathizes, with you. She doesn’t care; she is fantasizing about her new life without you while watching the stupid videos. It sucks, and most of us have been there. I am sorry about your dad; I lost mine several ye…
/r/Divorce_Men17/10/25 01:51 PM
2

Was it her idea to go to counseling or yours?
/r/Divorce_Men17/10/25 01:00 PM
1

That would probably backfire. I know the internet is full of tales about people successfully hiding marital assets. Like any other questionable activity, you are taking a risk. If you get caught, it will harm your position in the divorce, piss off the judge, and perhaps result in criminal charges. It is not worth the risk to me.
/r/Divorce_Men15/10/25 01:17 PM
3

You can let Bubba fix your car - or your leaky sink.
/r/Divorce_Men15/10/25 02:23 AM
1

This is correct. You can maintain a cordial relationship with her, but you have to say no to this. Blame the lawyer for saying no.
/r/Divorce_Men15/10/25 01:09 AM
9

You will be fine. When it’s time for the financial disclosures, you will have to reveal the invested inheritance funds, and make clear that they are from an inheritance, including the paper trail - from the death certificate forward. Since I am a lawyer, I know that there is a greater than 50% chance her lawyer will try to advance an argument that the entire inheritance is marital property. That is what I would do if I represented her. Do not let this upset you; it is bullshit lawyer posturing. …
/r/Divorce_Men14/10/25 10:46 PM
8

If you kept 5 million in a separate account in your name, and put 1 million in the joint checking account, the odds are, without knowing more details including your jurisdiction, the 5 million is yours as an inheritance (in most US states), and the one million could be considered marital property as commingled funds. Even if this happens, so what? You’d be walking with 5.5 million plus your half of the remainder of the marital estate. As Charlie Sheen might say, you are winning!
/r/Divorce_Men14/10/25 10:24 PM
2

Congrats my brother!
/r/Divorce_Men14/10/25 03:09 AM
4

That’s cold, man. It would have taken every bit of self-restraint I had not to kick his ass.
/r/Divorce_Men05/10/25 05:56 PM
11

I pawned mine. Got a few hundred bucks for it.
/r/Divorce_Men05/10/25 05:36 PM
3

Don’t get her preggers.
/r/Divorce_Men27/09/25 06:12 PM
2

In most states, with 50/50 custody, since she makes more she would pay you child support based on the state’s formula and might pay more than half for non-covered medical and other expenses. She might also have to pay you spousal support depending on how long you were married and other factors. Don’t be cheap - before you sign anything pay ~$500 to a family lawyer for a consultation. Don’t let her screw you over.
/r/Divorce_Men22/09/25 06:47 PM
2

No kids? Take it from an old divorced dude - you married the wrong person for you. I read a lack of respect into her actions. If she doesn’t respect you now, she never will. Get out before she gets pregnant. Yes, she will paint you as the villain, but you cannot let that stop you.
/r/Divorce_Men15/09/25 07:48 AM
4

Was in my house for 16 years. Now in a two bedroom apartment. Ex is still in the house, and we sell or she buys me out in 2.5 years. Yes, the apartment sucks, but you will get used to it as your new normal, for now. I'll be out of this bitch in 2.5 years!
/r/Divorce_Men14/09/25 10:45 PM
1

Yes!
/r/Divorce_Men14/09/25 06:09 PM
2

In most states, a CS order is automatically enforced by wage garnishment, unless it is waived. She could waive the garnishment in the settlement agreement, as my ex-wife did. We have 50/50, and I send her a check every month. Yes, theoretically she and I could reach a side agreement that I would not pay her and the court would never know unless she filed a motion to enforce the agreement.
/r/Divorce_Men14/09/25 11:03 AM
2

Agree with this - I am a lawyer. Also, in most states, there is a formula for CS that takes into consideration your respective salaries and the number of "overnights" that your children will spent at each home. You can find calculators for this online. With your income disparity, you will probably be required to pay CS, even with 50/50 custody. If you are trying to do this without lawyers, I would include that number in your settlement, and horse-trade regarding the other issues.
/r/Divorce_Men14/09/25 10:17 AM
23

Why can't we force every guy who is contemplating marriage to read this sub for a few weeks?
/r/Divorce_Men14/09/25 09:32 AM
4

Damn dude, I was married for 18 years, I am older than you (58), and I am pretty sure I have not had sex 3700 times in my life. I’ve been divorced for about 14 months and have not had sex with her in about five years. However, if she would offer it I admit I would probably take it.
/r/Divorce_Men11/09/25 02:10 PM
2

I am sorry your lawyers were shit. I am a lawyer, but not a divorce lawyer. I couldn’t deal with that shit every day. Even I knew, in my state, spousal support increases for the higher-earning spouse if the petition is not filed within 10 years of the marriage date. I tell my friends that if they can see the divorce coming before that 10 year mark, get it filed and get her or his ass served (I have female friends who are the breadwinners - believe me, they get that petition filed before the ten …
/r/Divorce_Men07/08/25 02:49 PM
9

Wait!
/r/Divorce_Men20/06/25 11:07 PM
8

Let it go. You agreed to pay her the 20K. It sounds like the agreement does not say it is alimony. I believe you would lose if you file a motion to modify the divorce decree. Does the agreement say that she forfeits the 20K if she cohabitates with a lover? I bet it doesn't. All you will probably do is pay a lawyer like me several thousand dollars in a futile battle, and pissing off the judge.
/r/Divorce_Men18/06/25 10:34 AM
3

No, it is not. Most states have a formula that determines CS. Included in the formula is usually the number of “overnights” the child(ren) spends with each parent. I have 50/50 with my ex-wife, but I make significantly more, so the formula spit out a child support number for me. I have several friends that are paying CS that have 50/50 custody.
/r/Divorce_Men16/06/25 11:22 PM
21

I am a lawyer. Her gender is irrelevant to whether she is an effective lawyer. If you are not comfortable with her, trust your gut and find another lawyer. We do grow on trees, you know!
/r/Divorce_Men29/05/25 08:10 PM
7

Nothing you've said indicates you would have a problem getting 50/50. I suspect once her lawyer calms her down, she will re-engage settlement discussions with you. Don't settle for less than what you should receive. Don't give her a break; she would not give you one if you were the higher earner. I suspect you would be entitled to spousal support (alimony). Have you attorney put the income numbers in your state's calculator to see what the numbers are. Don't waive this without her paying for it …
/r/Divorce_Men16/05/25 02:04 PM
7

Your attorney made a great recommendation to you, and I am hard on attorneys (I am one). You will probably do much better at trial. Is there any reason you cannot be an effective 50/50 parent (work schedule, etc), or does she otherwise have any ammunition to fight you on the custody issue?
/r/Divorce_Men16/05/25 01:47 PM
6

I am a guy and I have 100% female platonic friends that I have zero interest in sleeping with. I agree that if I had a crush on one of them, I would not hang out with them; that would be too frustrating.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/05/25 11:04 PM
1

For short term, crazy is better because the sex is usually better. Not for marriage, though.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/04/25 11:41 PM
2

Best pussy he ever had? Most of the mistakes we make with women are directly related to our little heads.
/r/Divorce_Men25/04/25 11:32 PM
3

You need to rent in the school district where her new house will be. I rent in a B- building across the street from where my daughter attends high school. I do not like renting but it is a means to an end. Three years will not kill me.
/r/Divorce_Men19/04/25 04:43 PM
10

Women cost money. You pay when you date, pay when you are married and pay when you divorce. This is life.
/r/Divorce_Men13/04/25 03:34 PM
6

Go talk to a lawyer about what divorce might look like for you. Your marriage is over. She does not want to be married to you, and counseling will not change that.
/r/Divorce_Men07/04/25 02:28 PM
4

I cannot agree more. Don’t be afraid of her words suggesting a long battle. Do it this week.
/r/Divorce_Men01/04/25 01:49 PM
3

I can resonate with this. I had a girlfriend that told me she would rather have me hit her than ignore her.
/r/Divorce_Men22/03/25 12:21 PM
3

I decided that the kids were old enough to handle it (teenagers). All the criticism and negative behavior made me miserable.
/r/Divorce_Men04/03/25 12:27 PM
1

That is too logical for my ex-wife. I actually would say this, in essence, in response to her criticism regarding my performance of household chores. I was wrong because I did not do them the way she would have done them.
/r/Divorce_Men04/03/25 01:47 AM
7

That is hilarious. Mine didn’t like the way I folded the towels. She would re-fold them, every time. She said I folded them like a child. Maybe she was right? Obviously, I didn’t give a F.
/r/Divorce_Men02/03/25 06:38 PM
7

What’s wrong with socks and pants, together?
/r/Divorce_Men02/03/25 06:27 PM
1

Not true if there is a significant income disparity. My divorce in IL was final last year. I make twice her income, and we have 50/50. I pay 600 for two kids, and I cover the health insurance premiums of about 600 a month. We did not deviate from the statutory formula. Some of the attorney’s offices have the software for free on their websites.
/r/Divorce_Men26/02/25 11:37 PM
8

Also, especially when it is not your custody time, find excuses to leave the house. I found that sitting at home alone was depressing and I was too much "in my head." Go for a drive, exercise, new hobbies, etc. I work from home, so this was critical for me.
/r/Divorce_Men18/02/25 10:11 PM
9

I would, if she has it, waive alimony for an appropriate lump sum. Maybe a transfer from her 401k or IRA to yours? Streams of payments can stop for various reasons.
/r/Divorce_Men05/02/25 06:32 PM
2

I am a lawyer, but not a family lawyer. Go talk to an experienced family lawyer. I hired one for my divorce. Do it tomorrow. That step doesn’t commit you to ending your marriage. Then, and maybe not in this order, go talk to a counselor, alone. Figure out what you want, and what you might be faced with upon divorce. Good luck.
/r/Divorce_Men16/01/25 01:43 AM
10

Talk to a lawyer first. They will go over your joint accounts, etc. and other issues to lessen the impact of her making immediate emotion driven moves out of spite. Go ahead and act now, because it sounds like you have already let the cat out of the bag. She might be planning to file right now. As for my divorce, I told her I was tired of living like roommates that were not even friends, that we completely ignored each other and I was not going to live the rest of my life like this. You cannot p…
/r/Divorce_Men18/12/24 12:44 PM
2

I didn't either. I get it. I have to help her pay the house payments for 3.5 years, then we sell the house and split the proceeds. No more CS and that's it, payments OVA!!!!!!
/r/Divorce_Men10/12/24 01:25 AM
2

Agree with every word here. I'm a lawyer, but not a family lawyer. However, I have many friends that are family lawyers. All of them told me I'd get 50/50 before my divorce, absent unusual circumstances. My ex wanted to fight for more. I told her to ask her lawyer if I would get 50/50. She changed her tune real fast after that. Also, get the CS. You will spend more than you think. Good luck!
/r/Divorce_Men10/12/24 01:00 AM
1

You can sleep on a pullout sofa in the living room. Give the kids the bedrooms.
/r/Divorce_Men29/11/24 02:06 AM
3

As long as it’s close to equal “overnights” (custody) you should be fine. I make over twice what my ex makes, we have 50/50 custody, and I pay 500 a month for two kids.
/r/Divorce_Men31/10/24 08:51 PM
3

Yes, they put a spell on us with the punanny.
/r/Divorce_Men19/10/24 04:04 PM
6

Congratulations on taking the offensive. So many guys will not do that because they are still in love with their STBX. Divorce is war!
/r/Divorce_Men19/10/24 03:57 PM
18

Take a couple of years off from dating while you regain your perspective on women after divorce. Good for you mental health - and great for your wallet.
/r/Divorce_Men14/10/24 05:50 PM
3

The status of your mortgage, or no mortgage at all is irrelevant. Depending on the state, if someone lives with you for a certain amount of time, you may be considered the landlord and she the tenant, regardless of whether money or value was exchanged. This is to protect her from being thrown into the street with no warning. Then, when you want her out, she could file a lawsuit against you, claiming tenant status. If the judge agrees that you have established that relationship (according to the …
/r/Divorce_Men10/10/24 02:09 PM
1

Sure.
/r/Divorce_Men09/10/24 12:29 AM
2

I finished the process in Cook County a few months ago. If you want to fight for 50/50 custody (which I have), and she disagrees, you must have the capability to take care of them. For example, do you travel a lot for work? Who would take of them when you have work trips? And it can get ugly regarding what you know about your children. Do you know their favorite toys, colors, etc. Who are their doctors? Teachers? Do the doctors and teachers know you? If you can, find out what most interests her …
/r/Divorce_Men08/10/24 04:08 PM
5

My ex is otherwise a responsible person, so I agreed to help her pay the mortgage payments until our daughter finishes high school, then the house is sold and we will split the proceeds. This is three years of payments that got me off an 18 year hook for alimony. My payments are capped at three years, so a delay of the sale will not help her.
/r/Divorce_Men08/10/24 11:03 AM
2

Agree! I was my ex-wife's bitch. Never again!
/r/Divorce_Men25/08/24 01:13 AM
8

We appreciate your contribution.
/r/Divorce_Men25/08/24 01:11 AM
2

Get out now to limit the alimony. File today.
/r/Divorce_Men14/08/24 11:10 PM
1

Kids were 13 and 16 when we separated. My ex, to her credit, did not attempt to alienate them from me, but remember, with 50/50 you have then half the time, so focus on being a good father that gives them what they need, not what they want. Don't pander to them, and when they are adults, hopefully they will appreciate that you were a good parent to them, regardless of what your ex might say.
/r/Divorce_Men13/08/24 10:10 PM
5

Same. And the kids (teenagers) are doing great. I have 50/50 custody and the kids have told me, separately, "what took you so long to do it?" Mom told them that it was my decision, and I confirmed it. I suffered for years, planning to pull the trigger when my youngest became a teenager. If you know you need to do it, go ahead. It's not easy, but it's worth it in the end.
/r/Divorce_Men13/08/24 09:36 PM
1

Based on your description of your problems, you sound like you are incompatible. If you guys are headed for divorce that quickly, I think you know what you need to do. Love is not enough. I would bet that most of the guys in this forum, including me, still love their ex-wives to some extent, but it wasn't enough to keep our marriages alive.
/r/Divorce_Men11/08/24 10:07 PM
1

Get a paternity test done as soon as possible. That baby might not be yours, or perhaps you already know it's not yours?
/r/Divorce_Men11/08/24 11:27 AM
1

Don't represent yourself unless you absolutely have no choice. I am an attorney, but I do not practice family law. Yes, I would have saved money on the front end by representing myself in my divorce, and I have attorney friends who could have coached me on the finer points of family law in my state, but I would have been taking a big risk that I would have missed something that could have cost me a lot at the end of the day. Stop being cheap and find a good lawyer.
/r/Divorce_Men09/08/24 11:38 AM
2

I am not in SC, but in another very large city. If she's hiding assets, and you are fighting about it, then it's not uncontested (excuse the double negative). 7 months is nothing. My divorce was uncontested, with the exception of some minor foot dragging by my ex-wife, and it took 14 months.
/r/Divorce_Men09/08/24 08:08 AM
2

This is the correct answer. I am an attorney, but I do not practice family law. When I filed for divorce, I consulted with several friends that practiced family law, but I went ahead and hired an experienced family attorney. Yes, it was expensive, but I did not want to make an expensive mistake. If you are adamant that you do not want to hire an attorney, once you reach an agreement with her that you can live with, at least pay an attorney for a few hours to consult with you and review the agree…
/r/Divorce_Men27/07/24 03:10 PM
1

I did the exact same thing. I leveraged her desire for the house into a waiver of alimony and no touching of my retirement accounts. Be patient and avoid fights as much as you can. Don’t assume you will lose the financial war. I did not, and you do not have to either. Fight her emotions with cold, hard logic.
/r/Divorce_Men27/07/24 03:11 AM
2

Lawyer here, but not in your state, and not a family lawyer. I just finished a divorce myself. This isn’t legal advice. Figure out what she desires most, and leverage that. My ex wanted to keep the house, so I used that to get her to waive alimony (I make 2.5 X her salary, and I was on the hook for 17 years!), and she agreed to keep her hands off my retirement accounts. She also agreed to pay her own CC debt, which was substantial. Find her pressure point and squeeze!
/r/Divorce_Men27/07/24 02:59 AM
1

Agreed! Listen closely, and it’s a fancier version of, “the divorce was your fault, Mr. Cave Man.”
/r/Divorce_Men14/07/24 03:57 AM
1

Do you have any family and/or old friends you can reach out to? If you don’t, then get a counselor, or divorce coach. You must find a way to process this. I am fortunate that I have friends who are also divorce lawyers, and they really helped me keep things in perspective. You are going to feel all kinds of emotions over the next few years, but you will feel better in time. My ex was manipulative also, and I was able to resist her reconciliation attempts, even though part of me still loved, and …
/r/Divorce_Men14/07/24 03:45 AM
1

Talked. I can’t type tonight.
/r/Divorce_Men14/07/24 02:43 AM
1

Agreed. The court might appoint a guardian to represent your child. I hope you have tallied to your lawyer already.
/r/Divorce_Men14/07/24 02:43 AM
3

You need to hire an attorney NOW. Please tell me you have. False abuse allegations can land you in jail, even if you are innocent. You could have a state employee supervising your visits with your kids after you are released on bail. If she has mental issues, these are real possibilities. Take action NOW.
/r/Divorce_Men14/07/24 02:25 AM
0

Please do not take this kind of advice. The judge, and her lawyer, will see right through it.
/r/Divorce_Men14/07/24 02:15 AM
3

That doesn’t sound too bad, but I hear you about the 400K. At least you are finished with the payments and once your daughter graduates, you will probably have very limited opportunities to lay eyes on your ex. Please try to enjoy the rest of your life. I know I am.
/r/Divorce_Men14/07/24 02:11 AM
2

My vote is yes. You be the bigger person and wish her a happy birthday, Mother’s Day and Christmas, if you celebrate it. I truly believe my treatment of my ex during the process helped us reach an agreement that I am happy with. If you have kids, you want things as amicable as possible for obvious reasons. Remember, you once (or still might) love this woman. Forget about revenge and take the high road. It might save you thousands of dollars at the end of the day.
/r/Divorce_Men14/07/24 02:06 AM
1

I meant CS- child support. Not CC.
/r/Divorce_Men14/07/24 01:56 AM
3

Talk to your lawyer about horse-trading. If you are prioritizing your retirement account, you could perhaps pay her a lump sum from the house equity, or another source to avoid the QDRO. My emotional trigger was alimony. Under our state guidelines, based on the income disparity and length of marriage, I was going to have to pay her for - I can’t remember the exact number of years, but it would have extended well into my retirement (I know I could have ultimately petitioned for a reduction after …
/r/Divorce_Men14/07/24 01:54 AM
6

I just completed one. Both of us are 55. Married 20 years. Two teenagers, and a house. I make about twice what she does, but she had significantly more non-marital assets than me (inherited IRA and a separate house). It was fairly amicable, and our ultimate deal was 50/50 custody, I pay CS under the state guidelines, and I pay part of the marital house payment for five years until our youngest graduates from HS, then we sell the house and split the equity 50/50. We keep our respective retirement…
/r/Divorce_Men13/07/24 11:40 PM
8

I just completed a divorce from my wife of 18 years. After consulting with many of my family lawyer friends, I decided to keep things status quo until I moved out. Yes, a judge could order you to keep things as they were before the case was filed, but the reasoning was primarily to avoid conflict as much as possible. I kept doing all the yard work, laundry, dishes, etc. It worked, I guess, because we reached a fair settlement that I can absolutely live with. Keep simping for a while longer; I th…
/r/Divorce_Men13/07/24 09:53 PM
4

This made me laugh. I agree with you.
/r/Divorce_Men11/07/24 03:43 PM
1

I just received 50/50 in Illinois, but it was via an agreement with the ex. If there is a custody fight, you might have to testify regarding how much time you have been a hands-on parent. It can get ugly - do you know their doctor’s and teacher’s names, have you taken them to appointments, etc. You will probably have an uphill battle because I’m guessing the SAHM took care of most of those things. I’d look at it from the spousal maintenance (alimony) side of things. Regardless of the current inc…
/r/Divorce_Men11/07/24 01:07 AM
1

You are correct to worry. My ex-wife just stopped wanting it, period, and would not even try counseling. Almost every one of my male friends had the same experience. If sex is important to you, you have to weigh it vs. having kids. If you know you don’t want kids, DON’T get married.
/r/Divorce_Men19/06/24 01:49 AM
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