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Pointyhead4 Archive

View 2 posts and 27 comments by Pointyhead4 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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1

Perfect good to hear :) eager to hear your feedback
/r/Divorce_Men19/01/20 01:23 AM
1

Yeah unfortunately it kindve extends everything which is annoying - also just changed permissions so now everyone should be able to view and download. Would you mind testing and just let me know it's working as intended?
/r/Divorce_Men18/01/20 01:42 AM
1

Good suggestion - setting this up now, will update post with link :)
/r/Divorce_Men17/01/20 08:40 PM
1

Sure man send me a message with your email address :)
/r/Divorce_Men17/01/20 02:02 AM
1

Thanks :) if you like it just message me with your email address
/r/Divorce_Men17/01/20 12:28 AM
1

Oh wow definitely alot in common then! Sorry to hear you are in this situation aswell though bud - hopefully the spreadsheet helps :)
/r/Divorce_Men16/01/20 11:08 PM
1

Hey bud I'm in a very similar position, message me privately I can send you a little excel spreadsheet I made up to keep things easy! Wish you all the best
/r/Divorce_Men13/01/20 09:11 PM
1

Ah fair point I'll definitely keep that in mind
/r/Divorce_Men20/12/19 02:05 AM
1

Dahm sounds like she tried the dating game and came to realize you might not be as bad as she thought. I told my wife that out of respect for us both and the well-being of the kids if she decided that we were 100% done then I would respect that but there is no going back from it. We discussed it and she decided so from here I'm going to keep looking forward and try not to dwell on that whole situation, it sucks but in a relationship you need 2 people to agree Yes otherwise if there's 1 No it all…
/r/Divorce_Men05/12/19 07:52 PM
1

Wow that sounds difficult man but I'm glad you got through it - I think my wife and I can manage the separation pretty amicably aswell but to be safe we're both going to the same advisor together so we can discuss and agree on terms rather than have 2 lawyers battle it out for us. Last night we sat down and wrote out each of our expectations for the settlement agreement and it was good to finally have it in writing but then she mentioned seeing other people. I said I'm not ready but I guess I ca…
/r/Divorce_Men04/12/19 08:17 PM
6

The best answer, as long as you feel appropriate. I'm in a similar situation (2 kids 4&2) and have recently started separating from my wife (2 months in). From the research I have done, alot of people who have already been divorced recommend staying single for a year. This will give you time to find yourself and what you enjoy, and also get into a rhythm of living life how you want it. I've seen multiple threads talking about 'finding and becoming comfortable with yourself' before jumping into a…
/r/Divorce_Men04/12/19 06:03 AM
2

Thank you...? Haha
/r/Divorce_Men04/12/19 04:46 AM
2

Look regardless of whether it's your fault or not - you still invested alot of time and energy into that relationship. And you still helped your wife achieve what she has (career wise) now, so it's only fair that if you helped her achieve that - you can partially benefit from it aswell. That's the way I see it with my wife, she sacrificed studying and progressing her career to play the house role (to which I greatly appreciate). And without her doing that, if we'd have gone half/half with the ki…
/r/Divorce_Men04/12/19 04:31 AM
1

Sorry to hear your also going through this bud. But it's very nice that your wife wants to help you have the same opportunities you helped her achieve. As someone in the same position as your wife, it really sounds like she still cares about you - I would strongly recommend letting her help you (at least a little bit?) As long as you don't abuse that help (sounds like you won't) and she doesn't guilt trip you about supporting you (sounds like she wont) then really it's a positive for everyone.
/r/Divorce_Men04/12/19 04:13 AM
0

So to clarify my understanding is you can organize a 'separation agreement' as opposed to officially getting divorced, sorry I think that's what I was trying to get across haha We wouldn't be separated but staying 'married' just so we can tick it on a box on our bank forms or anything like that haha. Ah that's good to hear regarding the living situation then, its definitely logical to stay living together for at least a short period of time during a separation but it just didn't seem that common…
/r/Divorce_Men04/12/19 03:18 AM
1

I guess that's definitely a valid point, I kindve don't want to move on anytime soon though I think I've heard that 12 months is a good amount of time to try stay free to work on yourself so that's my goal
/r/Divorce_Men04/12/19 02:50 AM
1

Hmm dahm I guess that's a pretty good point, not quite what I was hoping to hear but still true. Don't really know how to handle the situation better than trying to change my headspace about her seeing other people (in progress) or just moving out, which I don't think would be good right now. But I think your right about her already being emotionally done
/r/Divorce_Men04/12/19 01:54 AM
2

Very fair point regarding getting the paperwork done and not half-assing or dragging it out. I guess leaving it open can only complicate things further down the track. I do definitely have an interest in keeping in the kids lives but I understand how my notes could've suggested otherwise. Your right they are top priority now and I will be sure to be the best dad I can (and keep 50/50 custody to keep it that way) Thank you for kicking me into gear!
/r/Divorce_Men04/12/19 01:48 AM
1

Yeah I am of the same mind, my wife is pretty invested in her study at the moment though (higher priority than our marriage lol) but I guess things can change at the drop of a hat. I might have a chat with her tonight and discuss the situation to make sure we are definitely on the same page. Thanks for your advice!
/r/Divorce_Men04/12/19 01:40 AM
2

Yeah I'd agree with running it past your Auntie. perhaps have a chat with her prior and just let her know about your stance, that you want to keep things fair and even and considering its family definitely a good idea to have him with you so he doesn't get the wrong idea. Sounds like he's a pretty logical gent though so I'm sure he'll see if the same way from a money saving point of view. I really hope your situation goes smoothly, it was really nice to hear about someone else who's taking the s…
/r/Divorce_Men04/12/19 01:32 AM
1

Yeah we've got about 5 months until lease is up, don't expect either of us will be ready by then but even if we are I expect we'll be respectful and not do it until moved out. I know I won't until I'm moved out at least and she's said the same so as long as we stick to that should be OK?
/r/Divorce_Men04/12/19 01:28 AM
1

Wow that does sound quite similar to my situation. My wife has the same concerns regarding staying in the house, I reassure her that I won't just decide to kick her out and she will be safe under our roof. At the end of the day it's a total waste of resources for both of us to break lease and move out now, also I feel that would put undue stress on the kids and us aswell - I want to go from us being together to just being friends, I feel if we move out then we'll become distant and that makes it…
/r/Divorce_Men04/12/19 01:19 AM
1

Very fair points you make. 50/50 Custody: My manager is recently divorced himself so Is quite understanding to the situation and doesn't actually work full time so he can have his kids aswell. I think I might sit down and have a chat to see what can be arranged work wise so I can do the 50/50 thing. Supplement her income: I guess if she's working on the side of uni (probably will) and also getting part child supplement and part Uni supplement she should be fine? I think I'll sit down and do the …
/r/Divorce_Men04/12/19 01:07 AM
1

I see, that is definitely fair enough - guess I'll definitely have to work on that then. Thank you very much for your insight
/r/Divorce_Men04/12/19 12:57 AM
2

That sounds like a very good approach to me, do you mind if I ask.. How did you change your mind to accept her seeing other people? That's the one major thing I feel I will have a bit of trouble with. As it is the thought of her intimate with someone else makes me feel sick, I hope this will go away with time. I'm not trying to keep any 'ownership' of her or anything I just don't quite know how to change how I think about that.
/r/Divorce_Men04/12/19 12:42 AM
1

I am in the same situation, high-school lovers with 2 kids now but after 8 years looks like it's not working out. How are you coping with having so much time alone? At first I felt very uncomfortable sitting around now speaking to my now ex-SO but I've started to go back to gym and re-watch an old TV show aswell as study some philosophy, does that loneliness go away after a while?
/r/Divorce_Men03/12/19 09:05 PM
1

If the situation is as you feel and you have tried to work on it but feel like there may be a roadblock (primarily due to her mental complications she refuses to recognize or seek help with) then you have to do what you feel it right. At the end of the day your children will have to be your primary factor in my opinion, if you feel like your current situation is detrimental to the kids then perhaps a separation period of 6-12 months or so would be a good thing so you can both work on yourselves …
/r/Divorce_Men03/12/19 09:02 PM
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