TheRedArchive

~ archived since 2018 ~

Pokey_McGee Archive

View 0 posts and 43 comments by Pokey_McGee on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
Search in:
In subreddits:
More
Filter by year/month:
Upvotes Title Category Author Subreddit Date (UTC)
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
2

Preach it, Brother!
/r/Divorce_Men02/05/21 06:38 PM
3

Maybe/Maybe Not. Many of us give short shrift to nonsense and bullshit. Whether it comes from men or women. My perspective on an awful lot changed as I was scrubbing out the previous tenants filth when I took possession of my first apartment post-divorce. I feel like I have a little bit of an obligation to share my insight and call a square a square so that other families don't have to go through what mine did and still is. I'll call bullshit in a heartbeat to help prevent that.
/r/Divorce_Men29/04/21 06:04 PM
2

Your expectations of the "stuff," seems reasonable to me. It isn't always that way though were people want to scratch and claw over trivial "stuff." If that was the case I was prepared to simply add up the value of it all give it to my lawyer and walk away. I think that you're right on target about there being only a few items that are non-negotiables and that's only because they are very obviously yours via inheritance. As for the rest, there's significant variables according to the State and t…
/r/Divorce_Men05/04/21 09:25 PM
1

Best of luck, my man. Keep fighting the good fight and if/when it gets tough, remember how much your kids need someone to fight for them. It sounds like you're doing it, but just keep playing the long game.
/r/Divorce_Men05/04/21 08:38 PM
0

Except Tinder isn't the grocery store. Also, you and I don't get to determine what is and isn't "cheating," except in what behavior is acceptable to us. The other person in the relationship gets a say in this too. Especially in how she feels about it. Not saying how she handled it is right or wrong, just that your analogy isn't a very good one. It'd be more accurate to say that he purposefully wandered into a bar on single ladies night and got caught being there. I'm not stating what his intenti…
/r/Divorce_Men05/04/21 05:44 PM
1

It may be too late but DO NOT MOVE OUT immediately. Hope you have a lawyer by now and that you're moving forward reasonably rather than falling on your sword.
/r/Divorce_Men05/04/21 05:24 PM
1

I highly recommend you don't take this route. You are guaranteeing your kids a lifetime of "Daddy," issues amongst other things. "Unfairly Demonized?" Who the fuck cares about that or anything else more than being a Father to his children. The worst thing a man can do and a guarantor of zero respect from me is to abandon his children. Which is exactly what you'd be doing.
/r/Divorce_Men05/04/21 05:22 PM
1

They can't touch the VA money but they can calculate that as income. Which means a larger portion of your salary gets yanked.
/r/Divorce_Men05/04/21 05:17 PM
1

1,000,000x this. The high road is a lonely place but you can stand to look at yourself in every mirror you pass. You don't have to ever be ashamed to tell the truth, either. That's a powerful thing that isn't given enough creedence.
/r/Divorce_Men05/04/21 05:12 PM
2

Well, there you go. As long as you are innocent as you say you are, you should have no problems. If there's some issues that you aren't mentioning here that may change the overall perception of how poorly she's treating you then maybe you just get the divorce and walk. If you did shitty things to her and she returned the favor, do you really want to prolong this? Only you can answer. Either way, you're mid-20's and no kids. You'll be fine, promise.
/r/Divorce_Men05/04/21 05:09 PM
2

Only thing I would add is to think of the second and third order effects to whatever decision you're going to make. Actively, consciously work these things through. (Which is why I recommend not getting a cupcake to keep you warm at night. It's going to cloud your thinking at worst, distract you at best.)
/r/Divorce_Men05/04/21 05:04 PM
1

There may be a "third-party," clause available in your state. As in, you can ask that no "third-party," is able to spend the night/reside with her while your children are there. Otherwise, it's doing the best you can to keep your children safe. No license and active warrants seems like an easy phone call to get this loser away from your kids. CPS isn't always a bad thing either. Speak to your lawyer before doing anything, though. You want to maximize what seems to be an advantage and that's what…
/r/Divorce_Men05/04/21 05:00 PM
1

It's possible. I know people that have been able to do it. Fill out the paperwork together, divide the assets together, be absolutely transparent, get it all notarized and file it together. If it starts going sideways then you have to have an attorney. Which means she has to have an attorney. Which means the only winners are the attorneys. Use that as a reminder if she starts getting squirrely. Remember that yourself if you start doing the same. In the long run giving up something to get somethi…
/r/Divorce_Men05/04/21 04:56 PM
2

Be careful of the agenda that's giving you the information. Dating apps suck for everyone. It's tempting due to the apparent efficiency of it, but it's not the be-all end-all. Play to your strengths and if looks aren't one of them then try meeting people IRL.
/r/Divorce_Men05/04/21 04:45 PM
2

That seems a pretty common thing. They start dropping bombs but then are shocked and surprised when we respond to it. There's frequently a period of semi-reconciliation as they realize that what they fantasized about doing actually means. The same way that men often try to love bomb and become superhusband when they get the news.
/r/Divorce_Men05/04/21 04:40 PM
2

I didn't have many people to talk to and didn't want to constantly barrage them either so I started my own blog. It's more of a completely anonymous online journal but I just get on and write about things to help work it out. Mostly stream of consciousness, but it helps. Also, find the time to go for a walk. (Preferably in nature.) It'll help you focus and clear your head.
/r/Divorce_Men05/04/21 04:33 PM
2

You are being somewhat dismissive of the effects of what is likely the ultimate betrayal. You screwed up but aren't happy that she isn't over it according to your timeline. Its clear you think this is no big deal. Obviously she thinks different. I'm not giving her a pass if she's going way too far on it, but for her to be raging at you over an emotional affair seems like you may deserve it and she may be better off without you. I'll support men going through divorce but I won't enable them or ap…
/r/Divorce_Men05/04/21 04:29 PM
0

Fantasizing and actually taking action to interact with another are two totally different things. The moment it went beyond thoughts of strange to actually contacting another person (for whatever reason,) is the moment that he went wrong.
/r/Divorce_Men05/04/21 04:25 PM
1

Apparently the "other," thinks differently and in this situation it's her opinion that matters.
/r/Divorce_Men05/04/21 04:23 PM
1

You don't mention children but on the off chance you have them then (except in very rare cases where there is amicability and agreement, ) nothing needs to be discussed until the parenting situation is addressed. Now, don't give anything away or relinquish any ownership or rights unless it's able to be put on paper. You may not care about anything in the house but the accumulated value of it may work to your advantage if only as a bargaining chip. If she buys you out it's at the appraised value.…
/r/Divorce_Men05/04/21 04:22 PM
1

Never. The mere existence of my children both makes me a better person and makes my life better than it would otherwise have been.
/r/Divorce_Men05/04/21 04:08 PM
3

First, by killing yourself you are only passing on the pain you feel to everyone else. Please don't. I know it may seem hopeless and fruitless but those feelings come and go. There can and will be joy again in your life. Your children will absolutely NOT be better off without you. They will need you more after the divorce. Second, I don't know what state you are in but in a marriage/divorce both parties are entitled to a portion of the assets. She can say what she wants, but unless you have extr…
/r/Divorce_Men05/04/21 04:00 PM
1

There's a difference between "bound by laws," and what actually happens and what people get away with. Why risk the legal trouble and entanglements? It's going to cost you money to prove the legality/inegality. It's going to create issues with the ex. In her highly charged emotional state she's going to make things miserable and likely get away almost scot-free even with the above mentioned money to prove things. Plus, it's important for guys to get their minds right. They likely had a hand in t…
/r/Divorce_Men22/03/21 02:59 PM
2

I'm not trying to pile-on here but I can't even bring myself to read what you wrote. I am sorry to tell you this because you're likely hurting and this came about because of emotion. But, my man, you gotta make it so that we can read it.
/r/Divorce_Men17/03/21 04:13 PM
2

I'm literally yelling at you here: DO NOT DO ANYTHING WITHOUT TALKING TO A FUCKING LAWYER! Nobody here is telling you to not feel guilty. Nobody here is telling you that what you did was acceptable. We are saying that you are doing some of the dumbest shit I've ever seen. You can come to any agreement you want with her after talking to an attorney. What we are saying is that you are feeling so guilty that you are mentally ill right now. You came here for advice and instead of taking our advice y…
/r/Divorce_Men17/03/21 04:06 PM
2

Good choice to clear your mind. I'm sorry about what you're going through. Although it's easier once you can place your finger on it and identify what's going on, it's never easy. I hope you and your child make it through this ok. I sincerely do.
/r/Divorce_Men17/03/21 03:58 PM
2

Happens to the best of us. Don't beat yourself up and do better next time. This too shall pass.
/r/Divorce_Men17/03/21 03:57 PM
1

Lots of good advice here. I was never a writer and I'm a private guy when it comes to my emotions but I have found journaling (via an anonymous blog so nobody can connect it to me,) can be helpful as well. I'd be cautious about your relationship. If you are still hurting from a divorce on occasion that means you aren't healed from it. At the very least you haven't been able to recognize the part you had in your relationship breakdown. I'd hate to have you carry those same problems into your curr…
/r/Divorce_Men17/03/21 03:54 PM
3

For something like this, do not talk to cops. Shut your mouth and take the ride if that's what has to happen. That's why you have a Lawyer or one will be provided for you. You got lucky that you were cognizant enough to answer the detective as you did I'll say this again....DO NOT TALK TO COPS! You'll never talk yourself out of trouble but you can talk yourself into it. I'm glad it worked out for you, but you were at the mercy of the system and likely at a time you the least ready for it.
/r/Divorce_Men17/03/21 03:45 PM
2

This is an emotional hot-button for folks. Accept the clarification but don't get too wrapped up in it. You can't please everyone. Additionally, cater to the majority of reasonable people doing reasonable things under reasonable circumstances. You'll always have "whataboutism," and exceptions. You can acknowledge the outliers but they are just that, outliers to the mean. Most people knew what you meant and didn't think twice about it. GL.
/r/Divorce_Men12/03/21 03:30 PM
6

You're still making excuses for it. (I am genuinely sorry about your Father, btw. My condolences.) I even understand how it could have come about. We as men aren't used to being pursued and especially at a time when you were vulnerable. But there is never any excuse for pursuing or becoming involved with a married woman. I say this for a number of reasons.
/r/Divorce_Men10/03/21 08:25 PM
2

I'm not going to bother getting into a pissing match here but I am hardly "'white knighting," for anybody. Just pointing out that extremes typically accomplish nothing. (I've been around the world several times and enjoyed my time doing it so don't get all high 'n mighty here.) Congrats, you've virtue signaled the hell out of how you think western women suck. What has that accomplished?
/r/Divorce_Men10/03/21 08:20 PM
4

I don't understand why Redpilled men and the ladies from FDS don't just meet and grudge-fuck the shit out of each other. Then perhaps we can be done with all of these extreme examples and statements. Yes, lots of women suck. Yes, lots of guys suck. Either you STFU and commit to making it work or you don't. But for goodness sakes stop bitching about it. Caveat Emptor no matter the situation.
/r/Divorce_Men10/03/21 08:08 PM
2

The last ten words are the most important. I don't know nor want to necessarily know the details but my hat is off to anyone who has zero hesitation in protecting their kids.
/r/Divorce_Men10/03/21 08:03 PM
6

Just want to point out that regardless of what you are and aren't dealing with, you pursued another mans wife. Don't do that ever again. A big part of me thinks you got what you deserved. ​ Edit: Spelling
/r/Divorce_Men10/03/21 08:00 PM
1

We all are a work in progress. Or at least we should be. That was one of the most liberating things to me was when I realized I was able let some of the things said to me just slide right off. Those moments of clarity while in the arena when I recognized exactly what was taking place knew where it was coming from and knew that it was wrong. The only answer needed or given was a shrug and then I was off to whatever it was I wanted to be doing at that time. There's nobody in my life who would be a…
/r/Divorce_Men10/03/21 01:19 PM
1

You really aren't in a position to be taking the piss out of anyone. You're accomplishing nothing other than the opposite of what you claim to want to do, anyway. Is there any route that this ends with a positive outcome? Congrats in your decision to go to an emotionally charged forum and then start some bullshit. Good job, Hero, there's no way this doesn't backfire.
/r/Divorce_Men09/03/21 08:32 PM
1

I think this is spot-on accurate. It only came about because we wanted to make them happy. So we gave in on a million different things, or because we didn't really care about something they got to make the decision. Instead of just taking charge of our lives we sub-contracted it out: "Where do you want to go to eat?" "Hey, do you want to go to xxxxx?" "I'm going to have my brother over on Saturday to watch the game do you mind?" I think we also just automatically assumed that because they were w…
/r/Divorce_Men09/03/21 08:20 PM
4

You already know why, I'll bet. Doesn't make it any less hurtful though. If you don't, just know that you're still living in her head since she is having an emotional response to you. Best bet is just to just shuck and jive that stuff. Emotional rope-a-dope. It's hard to do while you still have vestiges of caring about what she thinks. You aren't alone in this feeling. It's not fair. It's not nice. It's probably part of the reason why you are done with her. FWIW, my ex told me she "wished I was …
/r/Divorce_Men08/03/21 07:14 PM
2

Which means that he needs to be extremely careful about potential claims of abuse. If she says you did it, you did it. Don't engage. Don't argue. Kill her with kindness.
/r/Divorce_Men05/03/21 10:28 PM
2

I get it and it sucks. The high road is a lonely place and the air is thin. But you never have to be ashamed about having taken it.
/r/Divorce_Men05/03/21 10:23 PM
3

So that's it, isn't it? Still feels guilty of me to have not just "sucked it up," for the sake of the kids. Feels selfish to have left and it would be selfish of me to have stayed. Even though I know that they were just learning or were exposed to examples of a non-healthy marriage and how husbands and wives (as well as men and women,) shouldn't behave. I know that bad examples from my childhood had me all screwed up as I reached adulthood. It doesn't make it any easier though. I'm aware of what…
/r/Divorce_Men05/03/21 10:03 PM
2

This may be a bit superficial. It seems excessively harsh and accusatory. Especially because I (we,) know nothing about his story. Maybe his wife initiated the divorce? Maybe she cheated or was abusive? Maybe they finally just realized that they weren't compatible and that living together was actually hurting the children? Maybe he did make the choice that you are accusing him of making? All irrelevant and honestly, your attempt to shame him is pretty unsportsmanlike. What he's trying to do is p…
/r/Divorce_Men05/03/21 06:10 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

© TheRedArchive 2026. All rights reserved.
created by /u/dream-hunter