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Pontokyo Archive

View 2 posts and 90 comments by Pontokyo on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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2

The worst case scenario in online dating is getting unmatched and never seeing the woman again. The worst case in offline dating is losing your pre-existing friendship with a girl because you asked her out and she wasn't into you. I have experienced both these things and believe me I would rather have 1000 rejections in apps than have to bear the pain of the latter again.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/07/26 10:50 AM
1

How is reading people offline any easier?
/r/PurplePillDebate03/07/26 10:47 AM
2

You can have good social skills and still be bad at attracting women. They are two entirely different skills and the latter is extremely difficult to learn if you never had much experience when you're younger.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/07/26 10:45 AM
2

As a neurodivergent person, I genuinely don't get this perspective at all? How is it harder to move from an online to in-person relationship with someone you don't know than to risk facing rejection and destroying your existing relationship by confessing to someone who doesn't feel the same way? At least with apps people make their intentions clear. I've seen several cases myself of friends groups disintegrating because someone confessed to someone else who wasn't interested, which ruined their …
/r/PurplePillDebate03/07/26 09:19 AM
2

Offline dating relies a lot on the person's charm and charisma. To be frank, most people that don't do well on apps will not succeed offline either because they usually aren't very outgoing and charismatic. OP is right however in that it is a lot easier to improve your appearance, profile and pictures in apps than it is to try and change your entire personality and that the former has a much better ROI.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/07/26 09:14 AM
3

One of the biggest things that helps men IRL, believe it or not, is doing interesting things just to do them BY HIMSELF. It's easier to meet women when you aren't surrounded by a bunch of other men. And lots of women will do things by themselves too, but they most likely aren't going to want to deal with being "approached" by a stranger guy with 5 other guys in tow. Whereas they might just organically end up talking if they're both there alone, because they have a common purpose. From my experie…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/07/26 09:11 AM
2

The ones that do are frankly of poor quality. You do not want to date those types of girls no matter how hot they are.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/07/26 09:08 AM
7

You are 100% correct. IMO 90% of men who don't succeed online will not succeed offline either. It is actually much easier to date online than it is offline, especially for younger generations.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/07/26 09:07 AM
2

Wait really? I struggle to even tie my own shoes so I'm scared it will be humiliating going to crochet classes and struggling to do even the most basic things.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/06/26 05:06 PM
2

Unfortunately, I have dyspraxia and I'm absolutely terrible at any activity that required hand-eye coordination. Crochet classes sound like torture to me lol.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/06/26 03:08 PM
4

Not from my experience. Every class I've been to is lead heavy. I think the more advanced levels have more women but the beginner classes have way more men.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/06/26 03:07 PM
1

because it is? hard to get noticed through a phone screen when you're average in sea of mostly even more average (as far as dating apps are concerned, both are actually considered "below average" by women) You'd be surprised. Most guys have really terrible profiles and pictures. Fixing these will get you better success in dating than literally any other thing. and the women on the apps won't? and at greater numbers and faster speeds? They do, but the number of women in apps is much higher so you…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/06/26 06:53 AM
4

This was the case 10 years ago, but apps have overtaken them after COVID.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/06/26 06:46 AM
1

True, but also there are way more single women that are not interested in dating than single men who aren't. This changes the dynamic completely.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/06/26 06:43 AM
9

I feel like you want women to go to where all men are, not the other way around Huh? I personally am part of a lot of female-dominated hobbies like Salsa and Yoga. All the weekly activities I do it's all women: ceramics, spinning or any random gym class and yoga literally all women Yeah but most of the women in those hobby groups are either not single or are not interested in dating, while a lot of men join such groups just to meet women. It creates a really weird dynamic. I find it very strange…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/06/26 06:42 AM
1

Yeah I call bullshit on this, pretty much every statistic out there says online dating is now the number one way young couples meet. And be serious, do you really think more couples meet through instagram than apps? Maybe 2% people meet through social media but apps are still the predominant way to meet people now.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/06/26 06:39 AM
2

They won't react negatively, but 9/10 times, women are not interested in guys approaching them at bars even platonically. Bar culture has changed a lot after COVID and most people now go in groups to bars without interacting with strangers. Nothing wrong with this imo, this is how bar culture works in the vast majority of countries.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/06/26 06:37 AM
1

They're more even, I'm not denying that. But what number of single women who are open to dating are in those places vs single men?
/r/PurplePillDebate07/06/26 06:35 AM
2

You guys always pick the wrong places. Dive bars are where the women go after they reach 22. LOL what, very few single woman under 40 goes to dive bars looking to meet men, and personality has nothing to do with it. Drinking out has become really expensive, so Gen Z people usually go out once a month at most, usually to celebrate something. Think logically, why would young women go to bars, where they have to spend a lot of money and deal with creepy drunk guys when they can get dates for free o…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/06/26 06:34 AM
4

Out of curiosity, what city are you in? I found gender ratios everywhere to be pretty skewed in Seattle, and more even in Denver. So it definitely makes a difference. I'm in Phoenix Fundamentally the problem with this whole post is you have already pre-rejected yourself in your own head. All women already have a boyfriend, they all just want looks, they all just want the hottest guy, they all are just there to talk to their friends. Nobody is gonna want to introduce me to their friends. You are …
/r/PurplePillDebate07/06/26 06:22 AM
8

Yeah you're either greatly underselling yourself looks wise or you have insane charisma. The average guy definitely doesn't have the same level of success.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/06/26 11:35 PM
1

Are you going with a group of friends? I've gone with groups, with one person, and alone. Girls have to take their friends for safety, and it's rude and weird and against the whole point of the thing to ignore or leave your friends to talk to some guy, and if the whole group's talking to one guy, that's uncomfortable too. Yeah I agree, but the same applies even in groups in my experience. Maybe 1/50 times I've had success meeting women open to dating this way. Also apps are NOT safer I mean anyt…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/06/26 11:31 PM
4

And how many of them turned into successful dates?
/r/PurplePillDebate06/06/26 11:19 PM
10

Yeah no offense but if you're getting multiple girl's number in one concert, I think there's a lot more at play here.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/06/26 11:15 PM
9

I highly doubt you're a 6 then lol.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/06/26 11:09 PM
9

That hasn't been my experience at all and I go to bars every week. Most girls pretty much go in groups drink and talk with each other and go home. Maybe older women do as you say but younger women won't since apps are pretty much safer and better in every way than bars for meeting guys.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/06/26 11:08 PM
7

It's not really a hyperbole. There is always one or two super hot guy in dance classes that pretty much every single woman focuses on. Not blaming them or anything, it's completely natural.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/06/26 11:02 PM
3

I never said there were more men than women. What I'm saying is that there are way more single men who are open to dating than there are single women who are open to dating. Especially under 40. A lot of single women are perfectly happy not dating while pretty much every single guy wants to get a date as soon as possible. I really don't find more men at the places that you mentioned even Huh what? What kind of meetups are you going to?
/r/PurplePillDebate06/06/26 10:53 PM
22

Women are everywhere. It's finding single women that are actually open to dating that's the problem.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/06/26 10:52 PM
7

If you go male dominated meetups - there will be sausage fest, women dominated - non sausage fest. The only women dominated meetups for women in their 20s-early 30s are women-only meetups. Literally every other meetup will have more men unless they're specifically targeted to older people. A lot of single women that can be approached. Not that many from my experience. Approaching them is one thing but succeeding is another. Female friend wingman is cheat code. The more you socialize more friends…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/06/26 10:51 PM
0

Yeah I think past 35ish, it starts to even out and both online and offline become equally good (and shit!). But I think under that, online is usually more successful.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/06/26 10:46 PM
3

Even if you're chad, online dating is still better imo. People idealize offline dating but it's honestly much better to date online for 80% of men.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/06/26 10:41 PM
1

Wait what. Can you send links? I've literally never seen these sort of thinks in my life. Are they arranged by the bars themselves?
/r/PurplePillDebate05/06/26 07:59 PM
1

Use meetup groups and events. There are plenty for bar crawls and local meet-and-greets. Finding them is just a matter of using social media well. What city are you in that has bar crawl meetups? The only place I've seen this is in party hostels in Europe.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/06/26 07:39 PM
2

I agree. My point is that it's easier to actually meet women interested in dating online than it is offline.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/06/26 01:39 PM
1

Yeah but you're kinda right. Most of the advice people give about using mutual friends to find dates is very rarely successful after college and practically non-existent once your friends start getting married.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/06/26 01:19 PM
3

Well some people are late bloomers or they move to a totally new city after graduating. Unless you live in the same area as your other friends, a lot of people face this.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/06/26 01:14 PM
1

So my cousin is a millenial and what he told me is that people would rarely meet their friends friends intentionally, rather theyd meet them through house parties and free underground raves. The problem now is that house parties are pretty much extinct among Gen Z outside of college and raves have gone mainstream and now cost more than $30 just on tickets. So we have no real ways to meet mutual friends the way older generations did unless we spend a ton of money.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/06/26 12:16 PM
2

Main difference is they come in a group, usually mixed-gender. Men that come alone are treated with suspicion automatically.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/06/26 10:35 AM
1

That's the thing. Nobody is interested in inviting people from their hobby groups to their other stuff. Most people are married with kids and have their own lives to live. Believe me I've tried inviting people to many different events and the most I got was a dinner or drink once or twice.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/06/26 09:15 AM
6

Exactly. Women and men socialize in completely different ways.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/06/26 08:49 AM
11

It's not common at all. I literally don't know a single person who got into a relationship because they were introduced to each other by a straight male mutual friend. Being introduced by women and gay men is more common but not by much.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/06/26 08:23 AM
1

Yeah I think you're right. I've seen so many people say they've grown their social circle this way but it just seems impossible to me. Nobody really seems interested in introducing the friends they have in their hobby groups to their other friends.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/06/26 08:19 AM
9

The ratio of single men and single women who are interested in dating is not much different offline as it is online.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/06/26 06:43 AM
2

From my experience 2 is the most effective way for men to date and it's not even close.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/06/26 04:44 AM
1

They don't drink
/r/PurplePillDebate01/06/26 08:57 PM
2

How old are you? Things have changed a lot in the last 5 years.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/06/26 08:36 PM
1

I've been trying to do it every day for 2 years. I've only had success a handful of times. Most people genuinely do not want to hang out after work or after a hobby especially if they have kids.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/06/26 08:35 PM
1

Yeah obviously. Unfortunately they're even more introverted than I am.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/06/26 08:33 PM
4

Honestly this is probably true. I probably just have to move.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/06/26 08:20 PM
9

Yeah I agree. 80% of guys that are unsuccessful on apps will not succeed offline either.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/06/26 08:13 PM
6

Who's fault is it that younger men and women aren't joining hobbies or clubs? People shouldn't show up in public if they dont want to be hit on lol What kind of logic is that? Imagine how stressful and exhausting it would be to get hit on every time you step out of the house? Have some empathy to women. They should be banning women who aren't single from speed dating events. Its a small community, and it's easy to do. Start reporting the women to the organizers, you paid money. The same way they…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/06/26 08:12 PM
–

No when I say the sex was bad I mean it was terrible. Like cumming in 30 seconds terrible. She clearly was not attracted to me after that.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/06/26 07:54 PM
13

Hobby clubs in college are a completely different environment than hobby clubs as an adult. It's honestly pointless to even compare them.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/06/26 07:47 PM
–

It was a drunk hook up. The sex was terrible lol. Never saw her again after we graduated.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/06/26 07:44 PM
2

No wonder. That's a totally different environment. You could have mentioned that in your first reply lmao. Your experiences would obviously be easier than someone who is working full time.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/06/26 07:33 PM
1

I'm in my 20s too. The main problem is that 80-90% people in my hobby groups are 35+. I genuinely don't know what people my age even do all day. I think most of them just doomscroll and bedrot after work
/r/PurplePillDebate01/06/26 07:27 PM
2

Have you ever dated or hooked up with a girl from a party or a club/bar? Nope never Are you even able to flirt and banter with women when you go out? Only if I've already matched with them on an app and we go out on a date.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/06/26 07:22 PM
2

How consistent are you with those hobby groups? Finding friends in hobby groups really requires showing up consistently and meeting the same people again and again, not showing up once in a while. It seems like you are in a lot of hobby groups, maybe it would be better to choose 1-2 max and really be consistent with those. Also, initiative is important. Be the one who invites people to do things. Sometimes people will flake or reject, that’s normal. It’s about luck too. Except for the book club …
/r/PurplePillDebate01/06/26 06:43 PM
–

I actually work for the government I'm actually more successful online than in-person. That's the reason I made this post.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/06/26 06:40 PM
–

Solo travel is a totally different experience for white men and women than POCs. I've seen even 3/10 white guys make friends just like that and get laid every night and 9/10 black and brown guys get literally zero attention. Same thing with women.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/06/26 06:34 PM
1

Then IDK. Nobody has ever invited me anywhere. It's honestly pretty depressing now that I think about it.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/06/26 06:30 PM
1

Well we all have group chats.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/06/26 06:28 PM
3

I don't think it's a me problem because nobody in any of my hobby groups invites other people to hang out with their existing friends groups. I think it might be my city tbh.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/06/26 06:25 PM
3

Asking the wrong questions. What do you enjoy. You've just admitted that you dont really enjoy salsa classes yoga running club book club lol Where did I say that lol. I just said those aren't good places if you want to date, not that I've not enjoyed doing them. You make friends in hobby groups by doing things the real you enjoy with other people similar to you. Friends invite you to the backyard grilling with beers by the fire pit at their friends place down the street. Thats where you meet the…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/06/26 06:24 PM
3

I think it's a lot easier for women to meet this way than men. Most men will rarely get invited to hang out with friends of friends in my experience.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/06/26 06:18 PM
6

Not really. Especially if I go to the bar alone. People are way warier in bars than on apps.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/06/26 06:17 PM
11

Yeah you're experience has been exactly the same as mine. It's even worse if you're in your 20s honestly.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/06/26 06:16 PM
5

IDK but I do know that I've had much better success on the apps.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/06/26 06:14 PM
2

What book was the last one for your book club Empire of Pain: The Secret History of the Sackler Dynasty This all sounds like mediocre generica and not something that connects you to people like yourself where you actually make real connections OK. What hobbies do you suggest where I can meet single women my age?
/r/PurplePillDebate01/06/26 06:14 PM
9

Not been my experience at all.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/06/26 06:12 PM
11

That's true only if you're hot. I don't see how bars and clubs would be better than apps for the average guy.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/06/26 06:10 PM
1

Salsa classes, running club, yoga, book club
/r/PurplePillDebate01/06/26 06:07 PM
1

Yeah that makes sense. I also think it's a lot easier for women to be invited to these sort of things than men. There's been a few posts on this subreddit on this topic.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/06/26 06:01 PM
6

Hey thanks this is actually a great comment. The problem with me is that most people in my hobby groups are 10 years older than me and a lot of them are married with kids. Naturally it's really difficult to coordinate with them.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/06/26 06:00 PM
5

Yeah like I said the difference between Gen Z and Millennials is bigger than other generation. I have literally never seen anyone my age meet people this way unless they're highly involved in the local arts scene.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/06/26 05:54 PM
7

That really depends on where you work. In my company there's only a handful of single women my age and I know for a fact that none of them are open to dating.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/06/26 05:50 PM
2

I've done this. But: I have roommates so I can't host house parties I've tried asking people to go to bars and clubs but it's very rarely been successful. A lot of people say they're interested but end up flaking out
/r/PurplePillDebate01/06/26 05:46 PM
2

I've tried but it's very rarely been successful. I think this is a gender difference. Men are way flakier than women when it comes to these sort of things.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/06/26 05:43 PM
5

Thanks, this is actually good advice. Would you recommend going to bars and clubs alone? I've tried asking people but very few are interested since most of the people at work and in my hobby groups are married and have kids.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/06/26 05:42 PM
6

That's true but ironically I've been much more successful on apps than offline.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/06/26 05:41 PM
7

Pretty much every friend I've made since I moved to a new city 15 years ago has been through hobbies or friends from those hobbies. Maybe it depends on the city tbh. You're also allowed to invite people out yourself. I've tried, but it's rarely been successful. Even when people say they're interested, they never actually follow through.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/06/26 05:39 PM
5

Exactly. Like imagine trying to introduce your coworkers to you college friends lmao. People treat hobby friends the same way.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/06/26 05:38 PM
7

You don't make a good impression on people you meet, become friends with them, and they go, "Hey you should come to xyz bar on Friday, I'm heading there with some friends and you should come if you can make it"? No, I've never seen anyone invite people this way. Sometimes we'll go to bars ourselves after the hobby session is over. But I've never seen people add their hobby friends to their existing plans with their other friends. It honestly just seems weird to me.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/06/26 05:36 PM
6

But it's not just me, nobody in any of my hobby groups invites each other to hang out with their other friends. When people do hang out, they go just among themselves.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/06/26 05:35 PM
18

If you meet someone and make a good impression on them and become friends with them, now you're more likely to encounter all their friends and if you make a good impression on them, you can encounter their friends. This is the main issue. People don't invite their hobby friends to hang out with their other friend groups. Social groups are more and more isolated from each other and big house parties where you meet friends of friends are super rare outside of college.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/06/26 05:31 PM
8

I've been doing this for 2 years and not once has someone from my hobby groups invited me to another social event. Most people are just too busy and have their own lives to really hang out outside of the hobby from my experience.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/06/26 05:29 PM
8

Gen Z woman here. It's very uncomfortable to be doing a group activity and knowing half the people are there looking for a date and not actually doing the activity. I've had to stop going to some places and doing activities I used to enjoy because I got hit on and it threw the entire vibe off. Agreed. It's the reason why I never actually hit on any girl during hobby groups. I've seen a lot of guys join hobbies just for that reason and it was extremely awkward for everyone involved. I think a lot…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/06/26 05:27 PM
15

From my experience, pretty much all Gen Z women go to bars in groups for obvious reasons. They also don't go regularly because of how expensive drinking out has become. Most people only go to bars once or twice a month at most, usually for special events. Most of the people that are open to socializing with strangers are the regulars. Who are almost always 40+ year old men.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/06/26 05:24 PM
14

How does that work exactly? I've tried asking people if they had any single friends and literally all of them said they did not.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/06/26 05:20 PM
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