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Present-Interest-975 Archive

View 0 posts and 432 comments by Present-Interest-975 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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0

I had a guy who I thought was a good friend that enjoyed talking to me and who I'd confided certain things to tell me that he'd only befriended me in the first place because he thought that he could get me into bed with him. I was actually going to do it too (I was 15 and very lonely, basically desperate for any friendship) but he decided at the last minute that he felt too guilty and couldn't go through with it (he was 17) I've had male friends develop feelings for me naturally too and it took …
/r/PurplePillDebate09/12/25 04:54 PM
–

As a low n-count woman I have routinely been the loudest voice in the room when I hear men slut-shaming high n-count women or being misogynistic about them 🤷
/r/PurplePillDebate20/11/25 02:12 PM
–

You don't even use the correct BMI range for your fetish, 25 isn't obese according to BMI. You just have an arbitrary made-up standard
/r/PurplePillDebate15/10/25 10:24 PM
–

You can do whatever you want with whatever consenting adult you want, I don't really care what type of relationship you want. I have friends in open ones, they seem fine. I disagree on your read on love, but that's not really my business. It just might be difficult to convince a woman to carry your child under these conditions. But if you don't want kids that's fine. Just bear in mind your own sex drive can change as well!
/r/PurplePillDebate13/10/25 01:23 PM
–

It's all about individuals, I guess. I would just stress that in a LTR there's going to likely be stretches of time where there's very little or even no sex. There's no way of guaranteeing otherwise because people don't know how their hormones etc will change as they get older, post-childbirth etc. It's totally fair if that's a deal-breaker for you, it's just something to bear in mind if you want a long-term relationship
/r/PurplePillDebate13/10/25 10:13 AM
–

I guess one answer is not all women, not all men etc. For some women it might not be sore or uncomfortable at all so they always love it! But I personally don't see how the ideas are that difficult to reconcile, but I'm speaking from the perspective of a long-term relationship (10 years) Sure when we got started I was more enthusiastic about at it repeatedly even if I was experiencing some pain/discomfort, but living together long-term it's kind of a different story. We both work, we have lives,…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/10/25 07:52 AM
–

I like it but it also leaves me sore the next day
/r/PurplePillDebate13/10/25 07:41 AM
1

This is almost my type except for the motorcycle. The angriest I've ever been with my partner is when he went on one.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/10/25 07:40 AM
9

Among my gay male friends, yes actually! But of course no group is a monolith, there are women and queer men who want to be penetrated more frequently. But even when PIV feels good for a woman it can still make you kind of sore and sensitive. It can also go from pleasurable to uncomfortable quite quickly. So that obviously can have an impact on how much you are going to want to have it
/r/PurplePillDebate13/10/25 02:32 AM
–

You've literally answered the question. Women aren't regularly picking up the socks and preparing lunches for men that they're hooking up with casually.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/10/25 02:24 AM
6

To be fair, if you were the one getting penetrated you'd probably want sex less frequently as well.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/10/25 02:21 AM
2

PIV 1-2 times a week, a session of just oral as well another additional day. Sex doesn't make me feel particularly loved compared to other things
/r/PurplePillDebate13/10/25 02:20 AM
–

Maybe they didn't genuinely enjoy it.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/10/25 10:42 PM
3

In a lot of cases at the time, if you were a woman, you simultaneously needed proof of adultery/abuse AND desertion was necessary for a woman to secure a divorce. But nevertheless it isn't a divorce, it's a broken engagement. She can't do that either because she's 17 and entirely dependent on her mother, who is pushing the engagement.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/09/25 11:25 PM
4

I feel like you're presenting this as a got'cha when it really isn't, but glad we've cleared the scenario up
/r/PurplePillDebate13/09/25 11:21 PM
3

This was actually a popular sentiment on Tumblr back in the day lmao
/r/PurplePillDebate13/09/25 08:19 AM
14

Yeah, when you're forced into an abusive arranged marriage with someone much older than you and you can't get a divorce unless there's proof of both adultery and desertion from the other partner's side
/r/PurplePillDebate13/09/25 08:18 AM
12

She tries to kill herself before committing adultery, I think if breaking the engagement was a realistic option she would have done it
/r/PurplePillDebate13/09/25 07:12 AM
–

I'm going to be real, the decor is a bit of an ick 😭 But it's something I could get past
/r/PurplePillDebate12/09/25 01:56 AM
4

I'm more interested in fairness than a true 50/50, especially since if my partner and I have a kid I'm going to be the one carrying it, giving birth, and then doing most childcare (our respective jobs also factor into this, I'm a teacher and he is a doctor ... obviously I will be more physically present in the home/with the kids because of my schedule) Right now I'm only working part-time. I pay my share of rent, he pays the bills and the bulk of groceries/dates. But at different stages in our l…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/25 03:36 AM
1

I said from that start in my comment that it's the standardised tests girls do better on here so I don't fully see the confusion - though I guess that if you're American grades might mean something different (like just your GPA/test results in class)
/r/PurplePillDebate09/09/25 10:54 PM
1

No, I said girls do better on average across the country - they get better grades in the standardised tests on average. Perhaps that wasn't clear, I apologise for my phrasing. I would say, anecdotally from my own graduating class, boys were overrepresented at the high and low end of the grading scale. But on average girls in my country do better on anonymous standardised tests - my school was maybe an outlier We refer to the marks in standardised tests as grades as well, we don't have GPAs etc s…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/09/25 03:43 PM
0

I'm talking about how we see girls do better in my country when it comes to standardised exams, even though the names are entirely absent from papers. So it suggests that there are other factors at play here. In the case of my specific environment and graduating class, I pointed to the fact that the boys were overrepresented in terms of people inheriting farms or going into trades (one girl didn't study as she had a trade to go into, two others did beauty courses) I don't understand the point of…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/09/25 03:30 PM
1

Haven't heard the word "sapiosexual" since I was in the Sherlock fandom on Tumblr back in 2013 😭😭
/r/PurplePillDebate09/09/25 01:22 AM
4

Edited for clarity on some points: Girls perform better on standardised exams in my country, but we don't put names on the papers - everyone is given a number and they're marked externally. I'm not saying that people's bias couldn't be a factor (that's why we don't show names) but there's clearly other things at play since it's happening even when the people correcting them are gender-blind. Mind you, I also come from a country where there is still a lot of farming/trades. I lived in a poor rura…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/09/25 01:14 AM
–

I said this before but a lot of those women have a very particular type of video game/gamer archetype in men. I'm a woman who enjoys video games, my boyfriend got me into them because he plays them too. But I know a lot of women who, as teenagers, had a boyfriend who invited them over to their house and spent the whole time playing online games with their friends, shouting slurs into headsets etc etc Or else they see it with brothers/male cousins etc If I'd heard enough of those stories from fri…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/09/25 06:56 AM
1

Except the amateur stuff can be even more problematic, because that is where we get revenge porn, real rapes, underage actors, people being trafficked etc come in - not the studio stuff usually. But that's not to say the studio stuff is good either, the abuses are widespread but the problems are different. I don't support shopping at Amazon though I can acknowledge a few rare cases where I understand people's needs - if you live somewhere remote/the car has broken down, you need nappies and clea…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/25 01:37 AM
6

I'm going to comment on the romance novel etc one. It's less damaging because real people aren't involved. There's a lot of tales about abuses in the porn industry, revenge porn being put online, videos of underage people, real rapes etc It doesn't even need to be romance novel level. There's plenty of porn stories written by men out there for free on the internet. Nothing stopping men getting their rocks off to that instead. There's also a pretty significant feminist backlash to those books as …
/r/PurplePillDebate01/09/25 11:32 PM
2

This isn't necessarily true of women's bodies, especially after multiple births.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/09/25 02:24 PM
1

What is good for the goose is good for the gander, in my opinion. I find your questioning in your comment a little unclear, but I'll answer as best I can. Of course if an individual woman who has never engaged in hook-up culture doesn't care that a male partner she's with has, then that's their choice. I as a woman who has never hooked-up with someone wouldn't really care if the person I dated had done so, man or woman (outside of potential concerns about our compatibility in terms of libido) ..…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/09/25 03:11 AM
–

You have a very simplistic view of prehistoric society, but I digress. I don't like cooking or doing laundry, I don't feel any random urge to do those things for anyone, outside of a context where "X is struggling and having a hard time, it would be nice of me to take care of Y task" There's plenty of other things however that I do fundamentally desire to do to express affection for my partner. Or maybe I just see zero men in the world as a "Chad" - if they were a "Chad" they would be capable of…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/09/25 01:40 AM
2

That's fair as long as you've had none either. But then you should just be aware, like the commenter said, that you'll probably be dating within the pool of low libido women who may not want sex as much as you.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/09/25 01:29 AM
–

Ah yes, because cleaning a house and folding laundry was a priority for cave-people
/r/PurplePillDebate01/09/25 12:57 AM
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It only matters if you make it a moral argument. If a man likes a woman with big tits, he's not a hypocrite because he doesn't have them. But if you say you want a religious woman who goes to Church all the time and is waiting until marriage and you don't hold yourself to that standard, that's pretty hypocritical.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/09/25 12:49 AM
–

Did this happen to someone you know? Seems incredibly specific
/r/PurplePillDebate01/09/25 12:26 AM
2

I'd also be curious about the correlation between high child mortality rates (more common when people are less educated, because there's usually a correlation with poverty) and the number of children people have. This is the case in a good few parts of sub-Saharan Africa. If only 50% of kids survive past the age of five, you'd probably be inclined to have a few more
/r/PurplePillDebate01/09/25 12:23 AM
-5

Your comment is kind of meaningless unless you specify what you consider an acceptable number. All they said was "has probably had hookups" that could just be two.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/08/25 04:18 AM
3

Honestly? I moved halfway around the world and am working part-time hours instead of my full time ones, so this fills up some time when I'm bored and don't have the capacity for my hobbies
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/25 02:42 PM
2

Orcs aren't real, so I suppose that won't happen. In the unlikely event of it happening international allies would be obliged to send assistance, but we are officially neutral.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/08/25 03:42 PM
2

I guess if you subscribed to a pro-life vision, saving even a woman who is one week pregnant and it's not visible/known even to her it is the same as saving two people ... So to hedge your bets, you should probably get women on board in an evacuation setting. I'm not saying that this is my worldview not is it the sole reason this kind of line was given etc etc
/r/PurplePillDebate29/08/25 10:38 AM
2

True. Very glad that I live in a country with no conscription
/r/PurplePillDebate29/08/25 10:36 AM
3

I kind of forgot that aspect. I asked my mother as a child and she said it was because it's more emotive language than "civilians" - there's an idea, proposed by all sides of a conflict, that if men are killed they were fighters/would be fighters so it's justified. So it's a way of tapping into emotions and stressing the emotional side, especially when it's being used about countries outside the Western world where, realistically speaking, most of the women aren't fighting. I think that everyone…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/08/25 08:17 AM
1

I usually try to refrain from saying it, because I've heard several bi women say it and then just continue dating men afterwards. I think a lot of bi women find dating men easier because it's more accepted by society, they don't have to be as proactive, and they don't have to unpack as much of their internalised homophobia. It's complicated to talk about that though because it can veer into biphobic tropes. For me, I've only been in one actual committed relationship and it's with my male partner…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/08/25 02:17 AM
2

I had predatory experiences with women as well, so I guess that I can't really set a hard and fast rule. I have things in common with certain men, so we can be friends. I also have plenty of male friends who are gay or trans. Romantically speaking it's a little more complicated. I love my male partner but if we broke up I think that I would probably seek to date women because in my experience they get certain things better than most men do. I don't think that I could find another guy that meets …
/r/PurplePillDebate29/08/25 01:09 AM
1

It's never been a law in any safety procedures. It wasn't even the official rule in 1912, the captain just made a particular call
/r/PurplePillDebate29/08/25 01:04 AM
1

It's not so much that boys at 12 automatically become threats, it's just that it's seen as the age that you can stand by yourself in a subway car without your mother and know when to get off at the right moment. It's a bit arbitrary, but so are the signs at playgrounds that say they're not for children under the age of 12
/r/PurplePillDebate29/08/25 01:03 AM
21

One thing that I think is worth noting is that "women and children first" in emergencies was not any kind of maritime rule. It was a chivalric code that was applied haphazardly - including during the Titanic sinking. Generally female passengers died in maritime diasters. Famously, during the La Bourgogne sinking only one female passenger out of the 200 onboard survived. On the Empress of Ireland, which sunk only a year or so after the Titanic, a lower proportion of women survived than men. There…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/08/25 11:25 PM
–

Same as for men, the bare minimum for any relationship is Being kind and considerate Being a grown up when it comes to chores etc Being someone they're attracted to
/r/PurplePillDebate28/08/25 11:02 AM
–

If they knowingly lied I'd be horrified and cut them off. That is probably how most people would feel I wouldn't care about paternity tests becoming legally enforced as long as there's some limitations - eg: it should be done before the limit on abortion is done, because if it turns out the man the woman thought was the father isn't and thus doesn't want to raise the baby, she may decide to seek a termination. They can be performed in-utero. Since we don't live in that world I think that if you'…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/08/25 01:54 PM
2

Yes ... And when you take away the percentage (roughly one third) of lesbians who reported it from a male perpetrator, the rates of abuse experienced by lesbians and heterosexual women weren't that far off and still skew more to the heterosexual women experiencing slightly more. Again I stress slightly, as I said in my previous comments I believe - based on the variety of evidence - that accounting for all types of abuse, the rates of abuse are pretty consistent for everyone. Some forms of abuse…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/08/25 10:38 AM
-3

There is only one study that people talk about when saying lesbians perpetuate domestic violence at a significantly higher level than cishet men in romantic relationships. Most others suggest that IPV is about as common in LGBT+ relationships as straight ones.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/08/25 10:16 AM
-3

The statistics from the one semi major study aren't skewed, you're misrepresenting them
/r/PurplePillDebate27/08/25 09:52 AM
5

I assume that you meant domestic violence, not divorce which is a separate issue. I'm not a statistician or analyst, I've just participated in studies, done research on them, and had to conduct two for the masters. So I wouldn't consider myself all that qualified to draw up a new one. The study has a pretty narrow scope in part because they were very specific about the types of abuse they were studying - stalking, rape, and physical violence. Emotional abuse, financial abuse, etc didn't figure i…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/08/25 09:48 AM
5

It's really not that common, speaking as a bi woman. You get lots of "unicorn hunters" sure, but that's because the unicorns themselves are rare
/r/PurplePillDebate27/08/25 09:21 AM
1

But even if it's short term and fizzles out in a year or so, that would still account for a disparity at the minute
/r/PurplePillDebate27/08/25 09:20 AM
1

Your takeaway from the study is flawed. One third of the statistic from lesbians was specifically related to violence from male partners specifically. If you take that away, the rate of female-on-female domestic violence/rape/stalking was lower than the rate of male-on-female reported by both heterosexual and bisexual women (who interestingly experienced the most across the board) -though in fairness, the difference is just under 10% ... It's also all based on the results of one particular surve…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/08/25 09:19 AM
1

My male partner is a far better cook than I am 🤷 I don't mind doing the cooking on a lot of weekdays - I'm less likely to be working in the evenings than him, though there's two days a week I'm home after him - but I don't see why my having a vagina means cooking should be my job by default. I'm not as good at it
/r/PurplePillDebate25/08/25 04:46 AM
–

I imagine that more men with young children sign up for the show than women with young children. Women tend to be the primary caregiver/default parent in a home, so it would be far less common for a woman with young kids to sign up for something like this and leave dad at home with the kids the whole time.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/08/25 03:54 AM
27

The difference is that at least if you work a 9x5 you have the financial independence to leave a shitty partner and know that you can continue with your job. Different story if you have no independent income and have taken a long break from the workforce.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/08/25 02:41 PM
–

I actually agree as a feminist, because I'm anti-prison for non violent crimes. Jailing the guy doesn't help the mother or child in any capacity.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/08/25 10:25 AM
2

In addition to what others have said, parenting standards have risen. Working parents - of both genders - today reportedly spend more time with their children than housewives did in the past. My mother didn't grow up poor by any means (back in the late 70s/80s) but most of her clothes were hand-me-downs, she read whatever books were already in the house, she didn't have any extra curriculars/tutoring, very few toys, and crucially her parents didn't play with her - she and her friends were told t…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/08/25 06:21 AM
2

If I had to choose between never having sex again or never having chocolate again, I'd pick never having sex. Sex can be hit or miss, chocolate is pretty much always good.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/08/25 03:31 AM
1

I do want to say, I mentioned pay being shit etc but I was talking more about the US. Teachers are actually paid fairly well here compared to there - it's about the same as a mid-level government job. It's considered a good option for men to go into. Fathers actively encourage their sons into it etc We still have a shortage of male teachers though, so it's interesting. I think the pay in numbers is roughly the same, but you're more able to live comfortably here on that (apart from rent but at th…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/08/25 12:28 AM
5

Also, a lot of kids died before they were five. Kids working are also at risk of disfigurement or disability - I have two great-uncles who lost hands as kids from farming accidents. Different sides of the family and everything. Not to be grim but it was good to have "back-up" if something happened to a child
/r/PurplePillDebate19/08/25 11:48 PM
4

In my experience (autistics person in autistic spaces) this is true. My brother and his girlfriend are both autistic. My partner isn't, but he has a lot of autistic friends outside of me
/r/PurplePillDebate19/08/25 11:43 PM
3

I mean, in schools I've seen there very much is a big push to get men involved and it was discussed a lot at college as well. The reason more men won't go into teaching, apart from it being associated with women, is because the pay is pretty shit. Men also tend to go for admin positions more than women do. I'm curious about the statistics regarding children doing better with male teachers, academically. In my country students in all-girls schools with largely female staff do the best academicall…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/08/25 02:33 PM
4

Most modern feminists consider Steinmen extremely flawed. Other feminists at the type also critiqued her. She's still important to know about in terms of second-wave feminist theory, she has some quotes that get might be slapped on a tote-bag (though if I remember correctly she didn't actually say the fish and a bicycle thing, it's just attributed to her) but that's the extent to which most modern feminists are aware of her. I can't talk about your last point because I constantly do see this, bu…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/08/25 02:22 PM
-2

"Feminist leader" but I as a long-term feminist haven't heard of her. Her accolades are 10 years old and this is a recent comment. Feminism doesn't have "leaders" as much as it as thinkers/commentators etc. Sure, individual women might rally behind another, but I doubt the vast majority have ever heard of this woman in any meaningful capacity. It just sounds like she's trying to maintain relevancy
/r/PurplePillDebate19/08/25 12:33 PM
6

During the 2010s "Lean-In" feminism was the dominant strain of feminism in the popular culture, which was all about taking initiative and being assertive, especially in the workplace, smash the glass ceiling etc. It was the pre-cursor for all of the girlboss stuff. Rewarding "masculine" traits
/r/PurplePillDebate19/08/25 05:29 AM
5

CBT isn't helpful for everyone and every problem. I won't tell you to try out therapy again, but it is annoying that it's the most common and yet only applicable to a certain number of problems
/r/PurplePillDebate19/08/25 05:22 AM
1

That's a different argument, fair enough
/r/PurplePillDebate19/08/25 01:23 AM
1

I think it's far less common, but also true
/r/PurplePillDebate19/08/25 01:06 AM
1

Also, not only are queer women a bigger demographic than queer men ... Queer women are more likely to seek out monogamous relationships (in my experience anyway) I know lots of gay men who call themselves single but they have rosters etc
/r/PurplePillDebate19/08/25 01:05 AM
5

I think that this is so overlooked and misunderstood. Especially because in the early stages of saying it seems like it takes less time because you're usually anticipating sex all day because you know your partner is coming over, the new relationship energy is still there which makes things more exciting ...
/r/PurplePillDebate19/08/25 12:06 AM
9

I mean, there's studies that show having pets can extend your lifespan and be better for your help too. It doesn't make having a pet a need.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/08/25 11:59 PM
1

I think that if you want to be a decent person you do have a responsibility to unpack and dismantle prejudices you were raised with. But this is something people have to do on an individual scale because there's no way to write it into law or actually scan people's brains to see what they're thinking (and even if there was, I'd be against it, so there you go!) I get what you're saying about actions being more important and I agree - but biases also inform our actions in ways we don't always see.…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/08/25 11:55 PM
1

I never claimed to be, this is simply my belief/opinion ✨ I as a human being strive to be a good person, part of that is unpacking my biases.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/08/25 11:54 PM
2

I don't have much to say on that subject because I'm not a bisexual man. This is something bisexual women tend to get from both cishet men and lesbians. I'm not making up my example, the guy actually said it to me. Again, of course you can't do anything about people's biases, but there's ways to go about expressing those. That's my main issue. Goes for every preference.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/08/25 03:01 PM
5

Everyone is prejudiced because we live in a prejudiced world, that's something you as an individual have to work on. Of course you can't get around every single unconscious bias people have, but if you have them there's no need to really voice them. As in, the guy who didn't want to date me because I'm bisexual could have just let me down easy and said he's not interested instead of saying "I like you a lot but you're bisexual and I think you'd probably cheat on me" - even if he was still privat…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/08/25 02:36 PM
3

I think that this is really overlooked. My teenage sister is dating another girl, everyone else in her friend group is queer as well. When I was a teenager (the last time I was dating) I was involved with more women than men.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/08/25 02:31 PM
8

My take as a feminist is that I don't really care about people's individual preferences as long as they're not rooted in some kind of bigotry/stereotype (eg: "I won't date bi people solely because I think they'll cheat on me" "I only want to date Asian women because they're submissive" etc) and as long as people are decent human beings to people who aren't their type/people they find unattractive.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/08/25 02:29 PM
–

I skimmed past that sorry - this was while I was in secondary school, but I was fifteen and he was eighteen and it was near the end of his final year, so he was two months shy of graduating. I met him via a debate competition, his friend/teammate and my friend/teammate were a thing so we hung out together occasionally. We also ended up in the same college (he was doing masters by the time I was doing my undergrad) and over the years I heard through the grapevine that he had pulled similar stunts…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/08/25 07:50 AM
–

It's not a need, just a strong want.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/08/25 07:21 AM
–

He admitted to befriending me entirely because he thought he could convince me to have sex with him. Every conversation turned sexual, I called him on the phone at his instance because I was upset over something that was going wrong in my home life, he said he wanted to be there for me because he cared about me, and instead he started getting off during the call.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/08/25 07:17 AM
4

Rebellion is also completely natural for teenagers and should almost be encouraged. You have to give them safe ways to rebel though. My mother never had strict rules about what I wore, what I watched on TV, relationships, going to parties/drinking ... But because she studied English literature and teaches English, she discouraged me from reading cheesy YA romance novels. So that was my "rebellion"
/r/PurplePillDebate18/08/25 12:01 AM
0

As someone who was raised a feminist, I also hate to cook. I actively loathe it, I will go out of my way to do anything else other than it. But I enjoy baking, sewing, and cleaning (my first job was hotel housekeeping) ... It really needn't be that deep. Not everything I (or most) women do is a reflection of political beliefs etc etc Ironically, I grew up associating cooking with men because my mother also doesn't like cooking (loves baking though, while being a radical feminist) but my uncle an…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/08/25 11:57 PM
2

I think that there needs to be a better line drawn between sexual attraction and sexual compatibility, because that it what the bulk of the post is actually about. The thing is that even within a committed long term relationship sexual compatibility and sexual desire can ebb and flow. At the start of a relationship things typically tend to be at their best (not my experience, but mostly!) and that's in part due to nervousness and uncertainty heightening sexual feelings.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/08/25 11:49 PM
1

Agree with JKR. But she's writing for children and hardly considered the best female author. Jane Austen, Charlotte Brontë, Ursula K Le Guinn, N.K Jemisin, Claire Keegan (❤️), Robin Hobb (❤️) ... Just some immediate examples of authors I'm a particular fan of (and dozens of other books I've enjoyed, but I won't include the authors on the basis of one book I've liked) To clarify I won't claim that women are better authors than men. My favourite author of all-time is a man. Women do read more fict…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/08/25 11:29 PM
1

What female authors are you basing this off of?
/r/PurplePillDebate17/08/25 02:17 PM
1

You probably won't write a book that they think is better but it's largely because most people like books that resonate more with them. So if course most women will favour female writers who write women realistically while men will favour male ones who do the same Though while I tend to prioritise reading books by women, my favourite author of all time is a man 🤷
/r/PurplePillDebate17/08/25 02:17 PM
2

I'm overweight and my weight gets vastly underestimated because of how I carry it. A number honestly tells you very little on its own unless it's at the very extreme end of things
/r/PurplePillDebate17/08/25 02:14 PM
1

Considering Chris Brown has millions of male fans and routinely beats up other men, the latter one shouldn't confuse men as a collective Individually though it's crazy. I remember my mother arguing with a shop worker in 2011 because she was disgusted that they were advertising his new album. When he went on tour I blocked any of my Facebook friends who said they were interested in the event (back when kids still used Facebook)
/r/PurplePillDebate17/08/25 02:12 PM
–

You're misunderstanding what decentering men means. Even 4B (the most extreme example) is just about dating, marriage, and childbearing. Decentering men for most women just means not trying to get the approval of random men as a collective group.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/08/25 01:19 PM
3

Lesbians have dating apps AND a lot of dating apps let you select the gender you are interested in dating. I know lesbians who met on Tinder. Most queer women pretty much hang out with other queer women and their relationships are very interconnected. Fairly common to share exes etc. There's also lots of ways that queer women "flag" their orientation in public without being "super butch" ... Super femme lesbians are also pretty easy to spot if you know the tells.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/08/25 10:11 PM
5

One that I don't see talked about much is that there are way more expectations put onto parents now. This effects men/fathers, but as women still do most child-raising it disproportionately effects them. It's a big reason why birth-rates are falling. We shouldn't look at child free couples but couples who have very few kids on average compared to in the past. Cost of living etc, but also parents are expected to play, pay for therapies, tutoring, ferry kids to and from extra curriculars etc ... N…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/08/25 02:01 PM
3

Okay well that's entirely an issue with men then choosing not to filter. That's a choice. As a bisexual woman I'd definitely filter people out based on their hobbies and interests if they partook in ones that I take issue with or would be incompatible with my lifestyle. You are well within your rights to do the same.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/08/25 10:44 PM
2

Yes I agree people should take time to themselves. But also a guy shouldn't explicitly invite a girl over to house and proceed to spend most of the time she's over gaming online with his friends in front of her. Oftentimes on the first visit she was making over to the hkuse. This has happened to more than one friend of mine. That's part of why I specified teenagers - these aren't cohabiting couples. When you're cohabiting or even if you're staying over for a few days etc it's of course a little …
/r/PurplePillDebate13/08/25 10:43 PM
15

It's entirely justifiable to not want to date someone who is addicted to social media either, this isn't really a got'cha. I do think women are hard on gaming, but I think that's due to misconceptions about gaming usually from a bad experience with a teenage/immature boyfriend who ignored them in order to put on a headset and game online with their friends for hours while they just had to sit there. It's not reflective of the entire cohort of male gamers, but that's where it comes from. If you s…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/08/25 03:43 PM
2

Most men aren't autistic though. Most people aren't. In my experience as an autistic person we have the best luck dating other autistic people
/r/PurplePillDebate13/08/25 04:34 AM
1

Why do you feel a need to be so nasty unprompted?
/r/PurplePillDebate11/08/25 11:40 PM
–

Do that many men in their twenties know how to change a tire? I can only confidently say one of my male peers does and that's only because he grew up on a farm
/r/PurplePillDebate11/08/25 02:47 PM
–

I don't see why you're assuming each film has the exact same plot lol. In Taken 2 his ex-wife is taken specifically by someone trying to avenge one of the murders Liam Neeson committed in the first film. Presumably the third film does something similar. The TV show is a prequel.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/08/25 11:17 PM
9

What are you defining as "lusting" over - you need to be more specific. As a bisexual person, I understand that my boyfriend isn't blind. I wouldn't care if he found a woman on the street attractive, or if he got turned on by a hot actress acting out a steamy scene in movie. If he was following titillating Instagram accounts that would be different. As would him watching porn but my concerns with that are more related to the ethics of the industry.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/08/25 07:30 AM
–

I used to mind when I was a teenager because my partner doesn't post a lot, but now I don't either so it doesn't really matter to me
/r/PurplePillDebate08/08/25 05:56 AM
–

She's donated money to anti-trans causes and participated in some Holocaust denialism, let's not say it's nothing
/r/PurplePillDebate08/08/25 05:55 AM
4

Apart from catcalling or being hit on at a pub, only once. I will give the guy kudos because he wasn't being creepy with it - I was reading a book at a bus stop and he'd read the book and told me it was one of his favourites (and he was able to talk about the characters/series) so I know that he wasn't making it up. He asked me for my social media details but I told him I had a boyfriend. He wasn't bad looking - tall, floppy sandy hair. It's all for the best though because I ended up hating the …
/r/PurplePillDebate08/08/25 05:51 AM
1

So five vanilla hookups Vs someone who was a virgin before their LTR who has had kinky sex a hundred times - by your logic the person who slept with five people will get bored more quickly 🙄
/r/PurplePillDebate07/08/25 04:07 PM
2

Because you said is there a guy in the world ... I can also only speak about what guys I'd hypothetically sleep with and the answer is just my boyfriend. I can't look at any man or woman I've seen and say I'd definitely sleep with them without knowing them 🤷
/r/PurplePillDebate07/08/25 03:03 PM
7

I'm pretty sure that I want kids and this is what gets me. I would much rather regret not having them than I would regret having them
/r/PurplePillDebate07/08/25 03:00 PM
3

"If you raised your kids right" - ignoring death, fertility issues, lifestyles that don't suit kids etc I personally want kids, I had one set of very involved grandparents, but this is the worst argument I've ever heard for having them. Giving up so many years of your life, money, and time, because you could end up with grandkids who visit you occasionally
/r/PurplePillDebate07/08/25 02:59 PM
7

Not the men seemingly stringing multiple people along? To clarify, if people want to hook up with multiple people at a time I don't care as long as they're being honest. These groups exist because some men are being dishonest about the fact that they're playing the field. I don't support them, but I also don't know anyone in my age-group (mid/late twenties) who use them so I don't have much to say. I think it's part of a wider pattern of younger people becoming accustomed to the idea of being co…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/08/25 02:23 AM
11

The dead bedroom subreddit is literally also full of people suggesting women get their hormones etc checked if there's libido problems, what are you talking about?
/r/PurplePillDebate07/08/25 12:17 AM
–

I find this really funny because my mother and I both made partnerships with men who are far better at housework and cooking than we are 😅 It's great that there's someone for everyone
/r/PurplePillDebate06/08/25 04:22 PM
4

Without knowing every man in the world how can I answer that question? I also don't really get why people wanting to sleep with you is seen as the ultimate goal. I've seen men here and heard men in real life say awful things about women they've slept with who they didn't even find attractive.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/08/25 12:54 AM
3

Okay but if my baseline is feeling affection for my partner, that is going to obviously be present during sex. It's just also present during other things.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/08/25 07:22 AM
8

Should you only support gay rights if it benefits you? I'm against religious people being persecuted because of their religion. I'm not religious, it doesn't benefit me.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/08/25 05:34 AM
15

No they aren't. They simply aren't. Do you think people have a moral responsibility to consent to sex with anyone who wants to have sex? To not use condoms?
/r/PurplePillDebate05/08/25 05:30 AM
10

You should be kind and decent to people regardless of whether or not you are attracted to them. The problem is that too many men hear "you should be kind to people and show them respect" and mistake it with having sexual interest. I was a very unattractive teenager and was treated like shit by male peers who later tried to slide into my DMs when I had a glow up. I wasn't looking for special treatment, I was looking to not be bullied.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/08/25 04:57 AM
2

As someone who you would probably call a misandrist who falls into that camp of not wanting to be approached in public ... I completely agree. It's a different group of women 🤷 I wear headphones and carry a book around with me as a clear signal to be left alone
/r/PurplePillDebate05/08/25 02:42 AM
7

I didn't feel any closer to my partner after we first had sex, and it was my first time 🤷 I did however feel emotionally vulnerable because having intercourse for the first time is generally a big deal (especially for the person being penetrated) ... That, coupled with general societal pressure and messaging to women (in particular) that sex is an expression of love, your virginity is a gift etc, all contributes to the general development of the clingy stereotype.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/08/25 01:34 PM
2

All of the girls I knew that were sleeping with guys in college were routinely sleeping with other college-aged guys. All of the guys that I knew in college and the college-aged guys I know now are banging, even the nerds, and those in intense degrees like medicine etc. Sleeping with a new person every year, even multiple times a year, is hardly noteworthy behaviour that would prevent you doing other things. People in college tend to want to have relationships, no shit that they're going to happ…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/08/25 06:03 AM
3

If the men aren't having sex in college then who are these women in college sleeping with? Also - the idea that having sex with one guy one time in a year prevents people from studying is so laughable 😭
/r/PurplePillDebate04/08/25 12:06 AM
3

Right, like if she started sleeping with people when she was 18 (which is probably a little older than average) it's less than one a year.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/08/25 05:12 PM
4

Did you read anything that I wrote? Where did I remotely say that everyone should do it? I probably wouldn't enjoy casual sex, hence why I've never had any and never would, but I also don't enjoy lots of things that other people seem to, and vice versa - so it seems logical to assume that my feelings aren't universal. I'd never claim that sex isn't an emotional experience for a lot of people, but it certainly isn't one from everyone. It's not settling if they both have similar high body count an…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/08/25 03:35 PM
6

Yeah, for someone who cares. She and her partner don't. Why do you feel the need to be nasty and try to prove that there is something fundamentally wrong with her relationship instead of just the more realistic assumption that people are different and value different things. It sounds like they both enjoyed casual sex, it would be ridiculous for them to care that deeply about the other person having had it. I've only been with one person. Sex isn't a particularly emotional experience for me and …
/r/PurplePillDebate03/08/25 02:56 PM
4

Yeah that wasn't a super high number for a 24 year old back then either
/r/PurplePillDebate03/08/25 01:16 PM
4

4 isn't that high for a 24 year old. There's two she didn't seem to sleep with and a lot of men here don't seem to count sex with women in a women's body count so eh.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/08/25 07:17 AM
3

By this logic if you want your marriage to work out you should have sex as little as possible to keep it special
/r/PurplePillDebate03/08/25 07:14 AM
1

Ahh I was hoping for a new rec but I actually started it before. Didn't finish it, but my brother and partner adore it so it's entirely just my subjective taste
/r/PurplePillDebate02/08/25 08:23 AM
1

What is it?
/r/PurplePillDebate02/08/25 07:47 AM
3

Right. There's so many variables. I did well in my single-parent household as a kid because our dad was abusive (better off without him) and my mother was college educated with a government job. We struggled financially for a while (my father stole money from my mother) but we were living in a rural area around my mother's extended family, we were never at risk of starvation or turning to criminal gangs etc. I hate it when people tout the statistics about single-mothers leading their kids to liv…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/08/25 04:26 AM
10

It sounds like you had a negative experience, but that simply isn't the case for everyone and is no reason to make a blanket statement. There's plenty of times I'd confide in my stepfather over my mother (who I have an excellent relationship with) In do agree that integration etc needs to be handled well, there are no stepsiblings living together in any blended/step-family dynamic I know of personally so I don't have much to say there.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/07/25 02:27 PM
27

Right. Also "messy and toxic" is such a vague description. I was a demon stepchild who argued with my stepfather over everything because I was a teenager and resented having him in my house. But I have friends who have had even worse fights with biological parents.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/07/25 01:24 PM
7

Guess that my family was the outlier. For us the number 1 was having our biological father in the home lol. But honestly as someone with a stepparent I do actually think single parents should wait until kids are a certain age to date again etc. My mother also asked me and my siblings if it was okay before asking our stepfather to move in and whenever I had fights with him (I was a rude demon stepchild when I was 12) she genuinely asked me if I wanted him to leave. I didn't, he wasn't actually th…
/r/PurplePillDebate31/07/25 01:22 PM
12

I don't think that most people who get divorced are assuming that they'll meet another single parent and form the perfect blended family with them. And I'm speaking as someone from a blended family whose extended family includes four other blended family groups.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/07/25 01:19 PM
3

This is very location-dependent. My partner is a doctor, we dated all throughout his time studying, his internship, and beyond. Our healthcare system is awful but it's nowhere near as bad for workers as the US one. I will say that it definitely takes a certain personality type. I enjoy spending time by myself. I have friends who I like to do different activities with. I'm also am trained for a job (teaching) which would suit a parental lifestyle - and I'm pretty sure that I only want one kid. Th…
/r/PurplePillDebate31/07/25 02:08 AM
10

See, the fact that women also get accused of trauma dumping etc makes me see this not as a gender issue but just a social-skills/developing coping mechanisms/regulation issue. Speaking as a woman who was a trauma-dumper who was inclined to use people as a therapist. I don't think men in particular are worse for it than women, I just think that a lot of men can become overly emotionally dependent on a female friend/romantic partner because they don't feel able to be vulnerable with male friends. …
/r/PurplePillDebate30/07/25 02:35 PM
12

I don't fully disagree, as someone into nerdy guys, but I've also known a good few Evil ones in that category
/r/PurplePillDebate30/07/25 02:01 PM
61

One of the reasons why men get accused of trauma dumping etc is that a lot of men (in my experience, hopefully this is changing) are primarily comfortable being vulnerable around women rather than other men. If you're only venting/crying around one person in your life, they're going to feel like your therapist. Speaking as a woman who did this to numerous friends and my partner for a while. I'll never forget the group of guys I befriended as a teenager. They went to an all-boys school. Within a …
/r/PurplePillDebate30/07/25 01:58 PM
1

I've been in a relationship for nine years so it hasn't really come up recently. I've been on three first dates, one of which became a second one (another was meant to but the guy ghosted me) ... With the girl I asked so I paid (didn't see romantic potential so I ended things), in both other cases the guys paid and I paid for the second one (and would have for the other second one if not for the ghosting) My sapphic friends who regularly date either split if it's clear there won't be a second da…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/07/25 12:13 PM
–

You need to try it beforehand
/r/PurplePillDebate30/07/25 04:52 AM
3

A virgin sure, because it can take a body a while to get used to sex. I've had one partner yet have had sex more times than my friend who has had five, so surely my body should be more affected than hers lmao
/r/PurplePillDebate30/07/25 02:49 AM
2

She was probably really turned on (good for you) and/or had a weak pelvic floor. My pelvic floor is overactive so sex is more bothersome
/r/PurplePillDebate30/07/25 02:47 AM
1

A thank you. If there's a second date, I think the woman/other person should pay then.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/07/25 01:25 AM
2

It actually just means that I never independently think "oh I'm horny, guess I want to fuck now" whereas my male partner will randomly have that thought throughout the day.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/07/25 01:18 AM
1

Yeah I agree. I was responding to the commenter's point about whether it's a chicken/egg scenario where everyone he knows who is into skincare has bad skin.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/07/25 02:56 PM
8

It completely makes sense that if you have bad skin you'll then get into skincare because you are looking for a solution to problems. Though depending on your age I can see this pattern changing. When I was a teenager in the 2010s skincare products weren't really sought after and we were all obsessed with makeup products instead. I remember being SO annoyed when I got a really high end skincare set for Christmas because nobody really cared about skincare in 2015. I teach elementary children now …
/r/PurplePillDebate29/07/25 03:01 AM
2

I would mainly consider someone boring/difficult to talk to if they didn't have strong opinions on things. You don't need to be pushy about it, or entirely committed to an ideology, but if you like video games I want to hear about what games you love, what games you hate, console preferences, etc etc Mind you I'm autistic and I definitely think this is more common with a neurodivergent crowd - whenever I hang out with other autistic people we tend to share a lot of our opinions on different thin…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/07/25 02:56 AM
1

I assume that orgasms just feel different for different people tbh
/r/PurplePillDebate27/07/25 02:13 AM
–

Oh for sure and I'm being very simplistic with the terms I use because listing all of the specific personality traits that appealed to me/the guys had, would take all day. People definitely overlook obvious red flags at times, but I feel the "pick better" phrase has become a means of victim blaming when it comes to abusive scenarios ... I do feel that if you know, for instance, a guy was a cheater and then are hurt when he cheats on you ... That's a case where "choose better" should apply. But p…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/07/25 01:26 AM
–

The irony is a lot of these guys were in my friend-groups and weren't hitting on a lot of girls. The only one who vaguely bucks the trend is the guy who befriended me for sex, but even then we were "friends" for a few months before this stuff came up, I met him through a cross country inter-school extra curricular programme (hence why I didn't know the girlfriend) and he became an actual friend of the other people from my class who went. I'm sure there are guys who fake a persona to get girls, b…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/07/25 12:33 AM
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I didn't claim to be a victim of relationship abuse (I would say one case of predatory behaviour but the guy in question admitted to only befriending me because he thought it would be easy to convince me to have sex with him. I didn't have a lot of friends and he told me he'd stop talking to me altogether if I didn't do x y or z) so it is pretty irrelevant. I said being fucked over - so ghosted, led on, being used, being put through online harassment etc. I grew up in a household with "actual" (…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/07/25 12:05 AM
–

General ghosting/being led on was a phenomenon, like getting a declaration of love etc and then suddenly they stopped talking to me (and no, it wasn't to pump and dump, sex wasn't even initiated) In one case after I ended things after one kiss and a date he and his friends spread rumours about me online that I'd given him a blowjob and defaced my Facebook page which led to me being bullied. There was one guy who put a lot of pressure on me sexually and told me he'd stop being my friend if I didn…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/25 11:54 PM
–

None of this is really relevant to my comment. It just seems like you want to vent
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/25 10:12 PM
11

Those weren't the metrics I judge them on - I'm bringing up things that are the "opposite" of the red flags that are commonly brought up when men say to "choose better". They talk about bad-boys who get around and get into fights etc etc These guys weren't assholes engaging in criminal activity who picked up a lot of girls, they were nerdy guys I was friends with who I never saw get heated over anything except some debate about Marvel comics vs DCU.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/25 03:20 PM
3

My type is still nerdy, my partner fits that mould, but we were close friends before we dated so I wasn't delving deep into the unknown. I can definitely understand why people would prefer an overt douche
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/25 03:14 PM
21

All of the guys that fucked me over were nerdy types who were fairly close to their parents, did well at school, had hobbies, social groups that included men and women, appeared kind etc ... I'm so sick of the assumption that we're all getting tricked by tatted-up bad boys 🙃
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/25 02:32 PM
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Wasn't an issue with anyone in those activist circles, so I think you're projecting. The only time there was any kind of accusation of sexual coercion was a guy talking about one of the girls 🤷
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/25 02:14 AM
22

My feminist perspective is that most people are misogynistic. Men superficially benefit more from not unpacking that misogyny and challenging that worldview so are less intrinsically inclined to do than a woman would be.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/25 02:11 AM
–

Unironically as a former tumblr user who fits a lot of those qualities (social justice, had pink hair, socially awkward) etc I don't think this advice is terrible. In college I hung out with college societies almost entirely made up of that particular nerdy awkward type and people were hooking up all over the place
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/25 02:07 AM
2

"We accept the love we think we deserve" - there's no conspiracy, there's no agenda, it's simply that there's a lot of deeply insecure people in the world who accept shitty treatment
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/25 02:21 AM
2

It would mainly upset me because I'd check loads if he wanted to do x y or z and he'd be very enthusiastic about it, but then he'd pull away from me for a few days afterwards because of shame felt afterwards from a religious upbringing. It made me feel doubly bad because I would feel blindsided by the behaviour and would also feel secondhand shame over what we were doing, which was not how I was raised haha. So a bit of a different scenario than what you've described, but I have been in the posi…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/07/25 02:07 PM
5

No issue. Granted, my partner and I were both virgins when we got together so the circumstances were a little different. However he wanted to take things much slower than I did. He was raised religious and I was raised by a feminist sex-ed teacher. The only time when it caused an issue was that when we would do something more intimate the first time he would pull away afterwards. In retrospect it's clear it was due to his own guilt/shame but because we were both adolescents we weren't really emo…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/07/25 07:27 AM
1

This is irrelevant but the spoiled/princess character you're thinking of isn't Violet, it's Veruca Salt (squirrel girl)
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/25 11:04 PM
2

As someone with vaginismus, it's a really rough one to deal with. It took my partner and I a long time to find things that worked for us. Frequent pelvic floor stretches and certain positions have helped the most, but penetrative sex still causes discomfort/pain initially ... It becomes a mental thing where you anticipate the discomfort and it makes it all the worse
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/25 08:54 AM
2

He'd have to put up with a quickie and probably starfish tendencies because if I'm tired and sick I wouldn't want to have sex or put on a show
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/25 08:46 AM
1

If you're a woman who doesn't go for casual sex, the odds are that a lot of your close female friends don't really go for it either. People can only talk from their experience.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/07/25 11:19 PM
2

To be fair if you're a woman and say you want something casual/a hookup on a dating app you're going to be sent a million dick pics
/r/PurplePillDebate18/07/25 11:18 PM
10

To be fair, his comment on ND women was more so about high rates of suicide and mental illness, not equal lack of success while dating. It's also worth noting that while an autistic woman can have it easier in terms of attracting a partner, they're also more at risk of domestic abuse, sexual violence etc. It does present a huge problem for women in this context, though a different one. Granted, autistic men are also more vulnerable to CSA.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/07/25 02:56 AM
1

If you don't like being around members of the opposite sex and you cannot form bonds with them, I would say you should probably do some internal reflection.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/07/25 11:13 PM
–

I am a feminist. I don't know what "Boogeyman" you refer to. The patriarchy is a social system. It is enforced by people. Because it is the dominant system, it is enforced by society as a whole - so yeah, other men do it, but women (who I'm assuming you've grouped as "romantic pursuits") are just as able to be (and often are) agents of the patriarchy. I don't know why you categorise parents and peers separately from gender/parents
/r/PurplePillDebate17/07/25 11:12 PM
1

Lol whatever dude. I don't see the need for mind games, she could be dtf. She'd just want to rule out a LTR with someone who doesn't want kids at all.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/07/25 07:49 AM
0

I've been with the same person since I was sixteen so it's obviously not something we discussed - it's just lucky that we are on a similar page. There's a time limit on kids for most people - even for men, quality of sperm worsens with age and the risk of disability increases as well. I get it if you're dating casually as a 21 year old you might not bring it up/be unsure yourself, but if you know you want kids it's wise to mention it early
/r/PurplePillDebate17/07/25 05:04 AM
2

Why do you feel the need to be nasty? Is it better to date a man for three years and then have kids come up and then say "oh yeah lol there's early menopause in my family so we only have a year to decide!!" ?
/r/PurplePillDebate17/07/25 03:34 AM
5

If a woman calls herself a misandrist and doesn't have male friends, I would tell her not to try and date men. I would also agree that it's a red flag.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/07/25 12:47 AM
1

But do you play until you piss yourself (as in, routinely neglect hygiene and other duties etc) - that's more the difference
/r/PurplePillDebate17/07/25 12:43 AM
1

I think for a lot of women the type of game matters a lot. As a teenager I know a lot of girls went to their boyfriend's house and would just ... Sit on the sofa while he played headset games with his friends, shouting out slurs, and otherwise ignoring her. When a man says he's into gaming their brains then jump to the worst case scenario of spending entire weekends sitting around while they play late into the night all weekend. I wasn't really into gaming when my partner and I got together (I h…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/07/25 12:40 AM
1

But similarly why would a woman want to be suckered into a potential LTR that then ends over incompatibility over a desire for marriage/kids? Early menopause runs in my family, if I was out dating I'd need to lay that on the table and have a discussion about kids
/r/PurplePillDebate17/07/25 12:29 AM
1

I'll actually try to give some advice. I don't know what you're complimenting people on, but I was taught that when you pay people compliments you should pick something that they had control over. So their outfit, their shoes, an accessory, maybe a hair-style etc
/r/PurplePillDebate17/07/25 12:23 AM
1

Not initiate sex. I prefer initiating.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/07/25 12:20 AM
1

Yes to them all, but sadly men are encouraged from a young age to pretend that they don't.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/07/25 12:16 AM
–

I feel that the two things you're talking about are very different. I also heard this guy talk about his hook-ups with our other housemates, while I think you shouldn't kiss-and-tell it's also a more normal thing for people to do. Making a list to share with your friends so they can track down the girls and try to get with them as well is actually just deeply weird and predatory behaviour. While I think that there should be limits on what people say, there isn't a problem with people of any gend…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/07/25 01:44 AM
1

The point I am making is that if we conflate the two entirely, then all sexual relationships would be romantic and that's clearly untrue
/r/PurplePillDebate15/07/25 07:42 PM
2

I mean, it clearly doesn't go one way. Otherwise men would only be having sex with people they love. A relationship can have sex but no romantic love, and a relationship can have romantic love without sex (people fall in love before having sex, etc) My only point is that the lack of sex isn't what makes a dynamic suddenly platonic. But sure, sex is a part of most romantic relationships etc
/r/PurplePillDebate15/07/25 07:41 PM
2

The issue I have with this framework is that sex and romance are being treated as fundamentally the same when they're not. They're connected sure, but one can exist without the other.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/07/25 02:53 PM
3

It's hard to quantify but here's my main thought. Sometimes things happen and sex becomes a near impossibility. I'm not talking about fluctuating libido etc, I'm talking medical complications and disabilities that can theoretically happen to anyone If a relationship cannot withstand that, I would feel too much emphasis was put on sex.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/07/25 02:52 PM
5

You're the one who entirely changed the terms in order to "win" an argument. Her original comment which you started replying to with demands for personal details, talked about a romantic partner being a whole life. That is also what my comment reiterated. The only person changing things is you.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/07/25 02:38 PM
6

She gave an entirely balanced take on men and women. No man should be a woman's whole life, no woman should be a man's. Ditto for gay relationships.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/07/25 02:21 PM
1

Again, if someone discounted my hypothetical experiences with cis women/trans men with vaginas, I simply wouldn't date them. Discount what you like, but I don't see why you're lying. If you want to say a woman who has sucked a dick is not a virgin that's entirely your prerogative, it's just not a remotely mainstream position so I'm surprised by it. If virginity loss has to involve interacting with a dick, then I guess there's no straight male virgins.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/07/25 11:40 PM
6

No I think it would also be deeply weird for a woman to keep a list of the men she's slept with, intimate details about the encounter, emoji codes for things like "was a virgin" and their social media details for the purpose of sharing it with other women in order to help them score lmao. I haven't encountered a woman who has done that myself, but it would also be deeply weird. I'm not even saying this is a common thing that guys do. I'm saying that this was a "nice guy" who did the weird shit O…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/07/25 10:16 AM
1

I know a superficially feminist guy with several female friends (and yes, many male friends too) doing an arts major in a left-leaning environment, who keeps a list of the people he's slept with, their social media, their ratings, and details about what they were wearing/their bodies etc. I thought he was the sweetest guy until I found this out. He's tall but really weedy-looking, socially-awkward, collects those LEGO plant sets etc ... A lot of guys seem nice, but you can't always tell.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/07/25 06:18 AM
3

Okay, then who is to say the man is objectifying the woman either? I don't really care what consenting adults do in the bedroom. I care about how they handle things afterwards.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/07/25 05:43 AM
3

Irish Catholic Guilt. It's a unique flavour aha, the revelries are just a mask for the misery of most of us. Throughout the 20th century priests were threatening parents into locking their daughters up for even rumoured promiscuity (which in the case of a woman my granny knew, just meant that she was seen laughing with a group of men in town)
/r/PurplePillDebate14/07/25 05:42 AM
3

I don't have a high libido not have I engaged in hookup culture, so I can't answer that. I can only think about my (few) friends who have hooked up, most of those encounters seemingly involved foreplay and a resulting orgasm so there's that. Women can also enjoy PIV regardless of whether or not it fully makes them finish. Also if a woman does just want a hookup ... She is also objectifying the guy. Both people are being objectified. If two people think that the other person is hot, why not have …
/r/PurplePillDebate14/07/25 04:47 AM
2

I suppose just general Catholic Guilt, the secrecy and shame around everything rather than making intentions explicit, how much gossip there would be over people - the rumours about "slutty girl" in my school was that she'd given like, three blowjobs to guys, which in hindsight (and hearing about other rumours from other schools or things that went down) is a wild thing for us to find "scandalous" - this wasn't even necessarily true, this was just the rumour about her that led to "town-bike alle…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/07/25 04:42 AM
2

That is literally what they are saying they want from a hookup, what are you not understanding?
/r/PurplePillDebate14/07/25 04:25 AM
11

Europe is a big place. What is considered acceptable in rural Ireland and what is acceptable in Berlin are very different I imagine. We'd have a lot of German exchange students and they thought we were very backward in our sexual hang-ups
/r/PurplePillDebate14/07/25 04:24 AM
23

I mean, I'm European and this was a major issue in my area growing up. Very Catholic environment.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/07/25 04:23 AM
10

The fact that they talk about classmates makes it seem they're young, and while I think you're right about the spotlight effect and younger people ... This sort of thing OP describes is an issue with younger people, especially with social media. I lost a male friend recently because he had taken pictures of a girl he'd been having sex with naked in bed without her knowing and sent it into his "boys group chat" to brag. My younger brother's friends keep lists of the girls they've slept with, thei…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/07/25 04:23 AM
–

Where are you getting the idea that they were all rejected or discarded by the dream tall dark or handsome guy? People can have an ideal formed by media etc and then just .. meet someone they have good chemistry with which overrides that. Otherwise I would have to assume that you're also saying that because a guy fantasized about say, Sabrina Carpenter (I don't know what female celebrities are widely considered hot by men), no woman who doesn't fit her exact standard would be ditched if someone …
/r/PurplePillDebate13/07/25 02:26 PM
4

I hope that he extends this to men needing Viagra later in life. They just need to show more willpower!
/r/PurplePillDebate12/07/25 12:43 AM
2

You did discount ones with women by saying it's about who you're doing it with, as a woman. If a guy was freaked out to hear I had hypothetically had sex with 5 people (I don't know what constitutes as a high n-count) but then found out that four of them were women and said "Oh that doesn't count the same" - I wouldn't want to (hypothetically, as I'm in a relationship anyway) date him. And of course I've never heard anyone say that about a girl, but that's probably because you're going to an ins…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/07/25 11:26 PM
7

That isn't really how willpower works in the case of major biological and physical changes.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/07/25 11:13 PM
13

Or just people's bodies and libidos change after getting older, using certain medications, developing medical conditions, having kids, going through a stressful time in life etc 🤷 Though obviously if the sex was and is always duty sex that's a sign of incompatibility.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/07/25 11:11 PM
1

Bisexual people, generally speaking, want to be called bisexual - not heterosexual or homosexual. There's people in denial, sure, but we aren't obsessed with joining your boat. If a bisexual man has had relationships with men in the past and then marries a woman, why would you call him homosexual when we have another word that actually describes what he is. Most homosexuals don't want bisexual people calling themselves homosexuals either.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/07/25 06:42 AM
3

You are also trying to redefine bisexuality so it doesn't include men, you are doing the exact same thing you claim that the Big Bad Gays are
/r/PurplePillDebate10/07/25 05:43 AM
1

I don't know their gender, but maybe there's medical issues at play. Sex is always painful for me because of endometriosis, I much prefer masturbation.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/07/25 12:02 AM
2

Completely agree
/r/PurplePillDebate09/07/25 11:59 PM
2

I've personally also never really understood people's desire to be in a relationship, outside of 1. Having feelings for a particular person and 2. Being sold on the whole marriage and 2.5 kids thing
/r/PurplePillDebate09/07/25 11:59 PM
0

I think there's a grey area in terms of genital attraction, and certainly I've had trans friends (men and women) who've been pursued by "chasers" (closeted gay people who see them as a more acceptable choice than just going after the same gender) - but I don't actually care about what.people want to call themselves re their sexual identity. If a trans person has bottom surgery it becomes totally irrelevant. Most trans people that I know end up dating other trans people, so it doesn't really matt…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/07/25 11:53 PM
–

Half joking, I just think she's a terrible writer (coming from someone whose bookshelf consists of about 90% female authors) Fun to hate read though. Especially Ugly Love
/r/PurplePillDebate09/07/25 02:14 PM
–

Read anything except Colleen Hoover 😭 /hj
/r/PurplePillDebate09/07/25 12:00 PM
7

I wouldn't care from a moral standpoint at all. I don't need to be assured he's 100% straight as I've tended to be more into queer men. I'd have some qualms if he wasn't getting tested during this time, from a safety perspective. All that being said, it might be an indication that a relationship wouldn't work long-term but only because I have a pretty low libido and I don't think that his would change just because his type has.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/07/25 07:38 AM
1

I think the problem is that the terms have become meaningless. Women showing empathy for men are called pick-mes, and men showing empathy for women are called "white-knights" When I was a teenager a "pick-me" was used very specifically to describe a girl who put down other girls (often her friends) in order to get male attention.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/07/25 11:14 PM
2

Interesting. I wouldn't date a man who cares that much about n count, but I really wouldn't date a man who discounts encounters with women. (Also gets complicated taking trans people into account) I've never heard anyone in my real life, man or woman, say that sucking dick counts as losing ones virginity. That's wild.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/07/25 10:26 PM
–

I mean, wouldn't this logic also extend to feet?
/r/PurplePillDebate08/07/25 12:10 PM
14

?
/r/PurplePillDebate08/07/25 03:39 AM
19

Feminist here - couldn't have put it better myself 👍
/r/PurplePillDebate08/07/25 03:00 AM
5

Possibly biased because I'm a bi woman, but I completely agree. Most of the bi men I know have found the most success with bi women actually (the ones who aren't involved with men anyway)
/r/PurplePillDebate07/07/25 03:54 AM
2

Bisexual lesbian is an oxymoron. There are lesbians who has sex with men before realising they're bi - outside of terminally online queer spaces people don't identify as a bi lesbian. The gold-star thing is complicated because it can act as a gateway into transphobia and also shaming victims of abuse. I knew a lesbian who left a lesbian event in tears for people dismissing her for having only been with a man when it was an arranged marriage scenario in the Middle East. Just very culturally insen…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/07/25 03:52 AM
2

I find it funny that a "virgin" by most cishet people's standards could have a count of one aha
/r/PurplePillDebate07/07/25 12:04 AM
1

I can't fully disagree, when my mother was going through her divorce she had to constantly go to court and do paperwork and I looked at it and said "I don't want to get married because there's so much work to do if you get divorced" at the age of eight.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/07/25 01:46 PM
2

Don't know if you're joking or not, regardless it made me lol.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/07/25 01:03 PM
1

In order to not use the abuse response I need to ask what are you counting as domestic violence because that has varying legal definitions in different places. Physical abuse, sure. Sexual abuse, sure. Financial abuse, generally as well. Verbal and emotional abuse though - much much harder to prove and not included in every definition, but I would consider them very valid reasons. Infidelity as well. Irreconcilable differences - if my partner suddenly became a Scientologist I would very much wan…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/07/25 01:02 PM
3

Interesting
/r/PurplePillDebate06/07/25 10:29 AM
2

I'm asking (mainly men) in terms of if someone just gave a blowjob to someone else do they include that in n-count etc. I would have assumed it would only include "home runs" (whatever equivalent that is for each relationship)
/r/PurplePillDebate06/07/25 10:28 AM
1

It's also why I consider the idea silly, but I've only had sexual encounters with one person so I've no real skin in the game.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/07/25 07:38 AM
4

Genuine question out of curiosity, I'm not looking to debate people or start fights. According to you, what counts when you're talking about n count - does it have to be intercourse to make up a new digit? Does oral/fingering count in a scenario where no intercourse with that person took place? If a woman hooked up with another woman do you count that the same - does that differ if they used a strap-on (and were the giver/receiver?) or just their hands/mouths? I'm just curious, as per my flair!
/r/PurplePillDebate05/07/25 10:48 PM
3

Well as in, the stat is technically true that women file more of the paperwork but statistics don't paint a full picture
/r/PurplePillDebate05/07/25 03:09 AM
5

Oh totally disingenuous that it's a "woman bad" thing. I don't think men filing for divorce is bad either, I'm very pro-divorce
/r/PurplePillDebate05/07/25 03:09 AM
4

I didn't say it accounts for 20%, but there's also cases where the couple have been separated and the man drags his feet about actually doing the paperwork.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/07/25 10:13 PM
22

Not necessarily manipulated but I definitely know women who filed for a divorce after their ex husband had already moved out and was actively dating someone new. It's not necessarily a reflection of who is responsible for ending the relationship, just who is doing the paperwork
/r/PurplePillDebate04/07/25 03:59 PM
3

Yeah well, calling for the banning of books is pretty fascist so I'd say you're already there
/r/PurplePillDebate04/07/25 03:51 AM
2

What on earth was the book?
/r/PurplePillDebate04/07/25 03:44 AM
2

I don't want to say that it never happens - women in monogamous relationships where they've talked about kids are also suddenly abandoned by a partner several months into a pregnancy, anyone can be blindsided. But most people nowadays are very vocal about whether or not they're pro-life/pro-choice. I know a man who was anti-abortion and was shocked when one of the girls he was hooking up with had a pregnancy scare and said she'd want to get an abortion ... When she was actively a committee membe…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/07/25 03:07 AM
3

It's almost as if people lie on social media. If someone's making social media content that's their actual job
/r/PurplePillDebate04/07/25 02:03 AM
2

If you want to read through my replies, I more or less said this about pro-life women
/r/PurplePillDebate03/07/25 11:16 PM
7

It's probably a factor, I think access to diagnosis is a much bigger aspect. I have an autism diagnosis but thirty years ago I wouldn't have gotten one. Ironically I never got the MMR vaccine because my mother was worried that I'd have autism (her cousin has two kids with severe autism) My mother and grandparents also show a lot of symptoms but my grandparents in particular came from a time where they were just thought of as "odd" or "set-in-their-ways". There's a lot of factors at play. But cer…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/07/25 06:52 AM
2

Not insulted at all. The funny thing is he openly identifies as bisexual. But he's started treating that as a an issue too, talking about how he could only have a "real" relationship with women/needs to be the dominant person and wouldn't want to be with an unmasculine man so it wouldn't work out. Altogether very strange. We worry a lot about him and his attitudes. My family is very liberal about this stuff, our thirteen year old sister is in her first "relationship" and it's with a girl, our pa…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/07/25 04:22 AM
1

I'm one too, what's bad about it? 😭
/r/PurplePillDebate03/07/25 04:09 AM
1

INFP. My (male) partner is INFJ!
/r/PurplePillDebate03/07/25 04:07 AM
1

There's a lot you've said that I disagree with or at least feel you're being a bit unfair in bringing up here - I've said (in fairness maybe in other responses on this thread I don't recall what I've said here) women should also not sleep with pro-choice men if they're pro life, and at numerous points I made my statements gender neutral. My statement about no guarantees of anything regarding someone suddenly turning abusive was entirely gender neutral, as was nearly every instance where I talked…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/07/25 03:12 AM
2

But then you get into the issue you've described with taste - which also applies to some of the contradictory advice men get. If I've only heard guys I know in real life negatively talk about women approaching them (I have) it's going to stop me from wanting to do so. But I do agree that men listening to men, men listening to women, women listening to women, and women listening to men are all going to be hearing different things with varying degrees of truth. A gym-rat guy who likes clubbing and…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/07/25 02:00 AM
2

I should say that my perception on what advice young men are getting is mainly coming from the worst of the viral influencers who make content for men and what I see my younger brother (5 year gap) dealing with. I say the worst of the influencers because as a woman my algorithm isn't going to be invested in giving me mundane videos of reasonable guys just giving out good and healthy advice. If I come across content aimed at men on TikTok or whatever, I'm more likely to get clips of Andrew Tate o…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/07/25 01:56 AM
1

There is genuinely nothing you can do to entirely prevent it from happening unless you want us to live in a world where like, we implant devices into women so that the second conception happens you get a little buzzer on your phone to let you know, and then make it the case . And I hope that you can see how it would be deeply wrong and weird to force women to have these implants - not even getting into the implications that this would have on abusive relationships, rape victims etc. However as a…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/07/25 01:19 AM
0

The thing is, I don't think it really matters whether or not your assessment is accurate or out of touch - I imagine that it's not out of touch in regards to how guys think. But similarly, I look at some of the contradictory advice that guys are getting, as a woman, and thinking that some of it sounds outdated etc. But just because it's outdated in my view, it doesn't mean that it's not the advice that people are getting - do you see what I mean? You've hit the nail on the head with your final p…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/07/25 01:05 AM
2

That advice doesn't work for men or women because abusers are good at hiding their true nature, and things can happen later in life that make people suddenly turn abusive. My father suffered brain damage in a car accident several years into my parents marriage and completely changed as a person. Even then, there's moves being made to educate young people about red flags to avoid. This analogy would only make sense if we were hiding the fact that intercourse can result in pregnancy. But we don't …
/r/PurplePillDebate03/07/25 12:17 AM
2

Things like work out so you get toned / don't be too muscular, be skinny / guys like curves, put effort into your appearance / guys don't like it when you wear a lot of makeup, wait to have sex / don't wait so he knows you're interested, be confident and proactive and approach / guys don't like it when you approach, be honest with your intentions / guys like a chase so play hard to get Etc etc
/r/PurplePillDebate02/07/25 11:22 PM
5

Things like work out so you get toned / don't be too muscular, be skinny / guys like curves, put effort into your appearance / guys don't like it when you wear a lot of makeup, wait to have sex / don't wait so he knows you're interested, be confident and proactive and approach / guys don't like it when you approach, be honest with your intentions / guys like a chase so play hard to get Etc etc
/r/PurplePillDebate02/07/25 11:22 PM
2

Things like work out so you get toned / don't be too muscular, be skinny / guys like curves, put effort into your appearance / guys don't like it when you wear a lot of makeup, wait to have sex / don't wait so he knows you're interested, be confident and proactive and approach / guys don't like it when you approach, be honest with your intentions / guys like a chase so play hard to get, be open about what you want in the future / don't talk about the future because it scares guys off Etc etc
/r/PurplePillDebate02/07/25 11:22 PM
8

What are you basing the idea that most couples have nothing in common on? That sounds entirely anecdotal - and in that case, all of the couples that I know have loads in common and shared values ... I guess it must be true that that applies to most people in the world!
/r/PurplePillDebate02/07/25 03:02 PM
19

I think that most of the dating advice everyone gives any gender is pretty circular in all honesty. While I do think that aspects of dating today are trickier for men, women also get contradictory advice. I don't think there's any nefarious motive or conspiracy behind it - I think it's just that different things have worked for different people, so it's hard to know who to listen to. This is why I don't give dating advice, I've never "dated" so anything I say will be unhelpful to most people. I …
/r/PurplePillDebate02/07/25 02:56 PM
31

Once a man is in his thirties there's an increasing risk of autism, so I imagine it's similar
/r/PurplePillDebate02/07/25 02:41 PM
7

He probably doesn't approach and if you're dating mainstream, that's going to be a barrier for men unfortunately
/r/PurplePillDebate02/07/25 05:49 AM
4

I only know two (straight) guys in my circles that are chronically single and neither of them meet all of this criteria. In fairness, one of them has only ever expressed disinterest in the idea of dating, doesn't put any effort into appearance at all, doesn't even socialise much outside of friends that he made at college. The other one's biggest issue is #6. He's a bit shorter than average, but I also know men who are his height who have/had girlfriends (my boyfriend being one) - It only jumps t…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/07/25 05:48 AM
8

I think that I'm in the minority here, I just don't find it particularly gross. It is a bit strange to say it out loud, but I'd almost assume if someone has a crush on you they'd thought of you while masturbating and why wouldn't they look at a photo?
/r/PurplePillDebate02/07/25 03:03 AM
1

I fear this won't be a super productive conversation without examples etc because I cannot think of any mainstream articles that do such a thing (I am not from the US and maybe you are, I don't know what news sources you look at) and what constitutes as "man hating" because while this does happen in feminist spaces, and was particularly evident in radfem and political lesbian spaces during the second wave (bell hooks talks a lot about it in The Will To Change which is a great book on how feminis…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/07/25 02:05 PM
1

I'm curious about what issues you mean that you see radio silence on, because I can't think of anything similarly high-profile to a lot of the things mainstream groups band together over - and even then I don't even think they're banding together, there are just some things all feminists will agree on. Like Me Too for instance, pretty much all feminists agree sexual assault is bad etc. When contrasted with the issues that these groups fight over, they're not as publicised - and indeed a lot of t…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/07/25 10:27 AM
1

I think the no-true Scotsman fallacy is something a lot of movements fall into, but I feel a need to stress that these feminists are generally not running in the same circles and dislike each other and spend a lot of time criticising each other nearly as much as they do men/the patriarchy. The TERFs (and there is a distinction between TERFs and radfems, and they fight each other too) also don't consider libfems real feminists.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/07/25 08:41 AM
1

Feminism is a broad movement, not a monolith, and there's lots of subgroups within feminism who agree and disagree with each other on different things. As a leftist feminist, liberal girlboss "choice feminism" is not something I subscribe to. However this is the most palatable form of feminism in the mainstream culture because it doesn't promote the destruction of oppressive power structures (mainly regarding class) - it doesn't even challenge them outside of "there should be more female billion…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/07/25 12:50 AM
7

I'm bisexual and autistic, I've no time for any of this stuff. If someone didn't compliment me or they negged me I'd just assume they don't like me and aren't kind. The only one I ever took to heart was the not sleeping with people too soon, but that was pre-influencers and came from older men and women.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/25 12:31 PM
7

Whatever you say. Nothing much else to add, none of the women I'm good friends with have really participated in hook-ups/any of those dynamics with guys outside of long-term relationships and neither did I. You also clearly didn't ask this question in good-faith but I'll reiterate my response in good-faith. If you want a LTR you would look at who is boyfriend material, if you want hook-ups look to that.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/25 10:19 AM
11

It depends on what you're looking for for yourself. Do you want a LTR or hook-ups? Guys who hook-up also talk about how they don't consider a lot of the women that they have sex with "wife material". Like no shit, people want different things and put different values on different qualities depending on the type of relationship that they want.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/25 08:14 AM
20

I think that the main issue people have with game is that the perception of it is that it involves manipulative strategies (eg: negging), making the woman think you want a serious relationship when you just want a hook-up etc. I've not really looked into it, perhaps there's more to it, but this is the perception of it. It's kind of like how "fuckboy" isn't a word that just shames men for sleeping around, they also "fuck around" with the emotions of the person they're sleeping with.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/25 04:31 AM
12

They didn't say that anywhere in the comment
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/25 02:01 AM
19

How is my not being anti-abortion hypocritical in this case? My partner is pro-choice.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/25 01:59 AM
24

There are choices for men. If you don't believe in abortion, don't have sex with women who do. At the very least don't have sex without using a condom and pulling out and making sure she takes a morning-after pill. Pro choice men should sleep with pro choice women because they don't believe abortion is wrong. If pro life men really believe abortion is wrong they would avoid potentially causing one at all costs.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/25 01:51 AM
21

I also said it to women who don't believe in abortion. If you don't believe in abortion you shouldn't have sex with 1. Men who would be terrible fathers (if you're a woman) and 2. Women who believe in abortion (if you're a man) If you are a pro-choice man having sex with a pro-choice woman there's no hypocrisy in having sex that could result in a termination. I'm speaking as someone who used to be very pro-life. The amount of pro-life men I knew who would get a girl they hooked up with pregnant …
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/25 01:43 AM
33

Because ... Those women believe in abortion. So it's not something they are concerned about. I would tell women who don't believe in abortion to not have sex with men who they wouldn't trust to raise a baby. I'm not even saying don't have sex. Just have sex with women who want to carry a potential child of yours.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/25 12:55 AM
45

If you don't want a woman you have sex with to have an abortion if a pregnancy happens, there's a very simple solution. Don't have sex with a women who believe in abortion.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/06/25 11:47 PM
4

Bisexual woman here. The women who fall into this trope tend to have a patronising attitude towards the 'Gay Best Friend'. This is less common now than it was in the 2000s/early-2010s. These GBF characters are sexless and their gayness has very little influence on their day-to-day lives apart from being into fashion (to help to give the main character a makeoever) and making some comment on how hot the male romantic lead is - oh, and implying that the female character is progressive. To this coh…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/06/25 04:54 AM
3

I don't know. It *sounds* like everyone got involved and kind of played a character (divorce lawyer, drunk uncle etc) which I could see being kind of fun to people (I was in theatre so enjoy murder-mystery type parties where everyone roleplays) but I'm just spitballing. If you like weddings it could be a fun concept - I don't like weddings so it seems like hell to me. Why she had a wedding-themed party isn't really a concern of mine, it's just not true to say that she got married to herself
/r/PurplePillDebate29/06/25 02:25 AM
2

I mean, it wasn't her getting married to herself - it was a wedding themed birthday party. I think it's a bit strange but those are two different things.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/06/25 02:19 AM
5

I can't speak for all women, but I've never felt "lust" for a man I haven't had feelings for even if we weren't in a relationship. Or woman for that matter. Maybe the odd celebrity, but that was usually tied to an infatuation with their public persona or a character - Chris Hemsworth did it for me because I like the character of Thor in addition to him being hot etc. This isn't totally unusual for a lot of women I know, but again I can't speak for all women.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/06/25 08:31 AM
2

I'm sure that they do for religious reasons. There is nothing in statistics to back up the idea that it is on the rise however, so any discussion of that is entirely anecdotal.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/06/25 09:15 AM
1

I imagine there are more circumcised people immigrating to England, but there is no indication from statistics that it is on the rise for infants. There's a higher rate among older generations.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/06/25 09:09 AM
1

I typed out a really long reply that I accidentally deleted which I'm going to take as a sign to move on, because you are not reading what I'm typing. My comments about bdsm were deliberately about how people who are insecure in a relationship can end up performing in it, and how not wanting to partake in it later is in that context a sign of security. So you didn't read my paragraph at all, just went on about how this proves she loved the awful guy more instead of just unhealthily vs healthily.…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/06/25 06:39 AM
1

Not according to anything that I've read
/r/PurplePillDebate27/06/25 05:40 AM
1

• Same values/political beliefs. Key ones being feminism, anti-racism, pro-LGBT+, anti-ear etc. I don't think that having slightly different ideas about how taxes should be spent is an issue. • If they're religious they have to be tolerant of other beliefs and not believe that people who do good things and are basically good people are doomed for eternity because they believe in a vaguely different book (I'm a Quaker) • Is competent at cooking and cleaning. Bonus if he enjoys cooking, I hate it …
/r/PurplePillDebate27/06/25 01:08 AM
9

I grew up with a single mother, so I never assumed or planned on having a partner. I really enjoyed romance in books and movies, but was fairly content with that. I was the kid in secondary school who got asked out by guys as a "joke" all the time, which further put me off the idea. I was always baffled by people I knew who listed marriage as a goal they had for their life when they didn't even have someone they were in love with to want to marry yet. I also don't really understand how people fe…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/06/25 12:48 AM
–

I'm in a relationship, but if I were to ever date again this is genuinely my plan.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/06/25 03:43 PM
–

I think caring about body counts is deeply silly, but I'm more bothered by hypocrisy. If you're a person who cares about the body count of your future partner/spouse or someone having a lot of casual sex then you also shouldn't engage in casual sex. At least then you're not being a hypocrite.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/06/25 03:41 PM
1

My mother made me wait until I was 12 and could be trusted to take care of them properly ... I didn't and got several ear infections. Thanks Claire's Accessories 🥲
/r/PurplePillDebate26/06/25 03:27 PM
9

It's a matter of bodily autonomy. Unless there's medical reasons for it, I don't see a good reason to give a cosmetic surgery to an infant. I could see a case for some kind of severe facial deformity because those can effect functions more and a child would actively have a harder time with a facial deformity than without, but nobody's life is ruined by having foreskin. I'm also against piercing baby's ears and think there should be an age limit on it, though I don't think it should be 18. It's j…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/06/25 12:34 PM
13

As a bisexual woman my bisexuality is fairly relevant to my life, my activism, my friendships etc, even in a long-term relationship with a man. If these men didn't mention they were bisexual and their girlfriend found out later they'd be told they were being dishonest etc so it's a lose-lose in that case.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/06/25 07:23 AM
4

I haven't delved very deep into the subject either, but I do work with children and teenagers. I think early on in a divorce it's best for children to have a sense of stability, which usually means living in one house with one parent most of the time - and probably the parent that they spend most of the time with already, which realistically is usually the mother. Of course the other parent should be able to be a part of the kids life with visits/picking up-dropping off to school, overnight trip…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/06/25 02:14 AM
9

I agree with your latter point, but I actually think shared custody can be detrimental at a young age. If your parents divorce when you're 10 you're in a very different position than your parents divorcing when you're 3, and kids need different things at those ages. *I'm referring to 50/50 custody which may not be what you mean strictly
/r/PurplePillDebate26/06/25 02:04 AM
15

Circumcision springs immediately to mind. It should be banned for anyone under the age of 18. If a grown man wants to do it, I don't really believe in stopping him, but parents should not let it happen to their children. Mental health is a big one. I think a lot of that is rooted in the effects of the patriarchy, but that doesn't make it not a problem. It's explored a lot in The Will To Change by bell hooks.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/06/25 02:02 AM
2

I am
/r/PurplePillDebate26/06/25 12:37 AM
6

Its only happened within a relationship for me. My partner is your height, it's not necessarily an issue.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/06/25 12:23 AM
–

Considering that women in my country were routinely locked up over rumours about them being promiscuous (which in some cases was simply being seen hanging out in public with boys) and men weren't, I'd say there's fair evidence for it actually.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/06/25 12:18 AM
1

I know women who don't want to be gone down on or go down on a man ever again because of those reasons, so it definitely happens. If a sex act was uncomfortable, painful, or disgusting with one partner it is completely understandable that you wouldn't want to do it with a new one. End of. Even if you just didn't like it and there was nothing technically wrong with the act. People can change as they get older. Again, even within the same relationship things can change. I go through months of not …
/r/PurplePillDebate26/06/25 12:05 AM
4

I find the idea of it being a duty very strange, but it seems it's important to you. I think the draft is a kind of evil concept from a feminist perspective. They tried to enforce conscription where I'm from in 1918 and it was rejected. In countries where they have it I think mandatory service like with the IDF for all genders would be fairer, but I think this is also evil.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/25 08:51 AM
3

No, I'm not making myself clear, I meant if the draft is enacted when you're 25 and you're registered and you go up but because of a disability you're considered ineligible should you lose your vote. I was checking the extension of the logic. It's not some kind of got'cha. I don't think men should be drafted but again, I'm not American nor in any country that has ever had conscription, so these discussions are completely alien to me. I don't think you should be able to lose your vote for any rea…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/25 08:40 AM
2

I'm from a country that has never had conscription so it's not super relevant to me, I just found this logic interesting
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/25 08:26 AM
4

Fair enough, at least you're consistent
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/25 08:25 AM
6

So if your considered ineligible do you lose the right to vote? Or if you age out without ever having been drafted? I'm just following the extension of the logic. My country has never had conscription and the one time a government tried to enforce it there was strong opposition so it was never enacted, so this discussion is just interesting to me.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/25 08:23 AM
3

If you're consistent then fair enough, but I think if you care about men's rights/issues you should support disabled and mentally ill men having some say over policies that can effect them
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/25 08:15 AM
4

Do you think that men who are inelgible for the draft shouldn't get to vote in that case?
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/25 06:39 AM
1

Okay but the comments was about kinky stuff. If a man had tried pegging once with a partner and never wanted to do it again because he didn't enjoy it, it would be horrible for a woman to get annoyed at him for not wanting to do it with her. Having done something in the past doesn't mean there should be any expectation of doing it with other partners, and it doesn't necessarily mean a person is less attracted to their new partner. Sometimes people just figure out something isn't for them.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/25 03:17 AM
1

I said I've met women who slut-shame, I'm talking about slut-shaming. If you don't slut-shame then whatever, this isn't about you. I'm not talking about just rejecting people over a preference. I'm talking about being judgemental, saying gross things etc. Even straight women slut-shame other straight women, it happens.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/06/25 01:12 PM
1

It seems to mostly be men here, but I've encountered slut-shaming women in the real world
/r/PurplePillDebate24/06/25 02:53 AM
0

Higher. Much higher. I've only been with one person, the way people talk about both low-n and high-n women repulses me
/r/PurplePillDebate24/06/25 02:50 AM
0

I would think it entirely reasonable for someone to not want to show their phone to their partner, even if they have nothing to hide. I would also probably break up with someone who suddenly told me they suddenly want a paternity test because they are accusing me of cheating and baby trapping them because it is clear proof they don't trust me.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/06/25 02:44 AM
1

Right. If it's something that you feel strongly about you should say it straight up before you even have sex. My mother was a victim of financial abuse so my partner knows that I will always want my own bank account (we can contribute to a shared one) because I've made that clear the whole way through our relationship. I think it's fair if a man wants a paternity test if he and the woman were dating casually/not exclusive without a prior discussion, but if you're in a committed relationship/marr…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/06/25 02:40 AM
35

I think that is may partially explain why broadly speaking there's a discrepancy between cishet men and women when it comes to the relationship between sex and stress. I've seen a lot of men online appear confused over their partner not wanting to have sex because they've had an intense week with family/work etc, because for those men they find sex to be a good stress reliever. But for women, unconsciously, there's a sense of "this isn't a good space for a baby right now". Just spitballing.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/06/25 12:26 AM
–

If it's a preference then that leaves you far more open. I prefer guys to be taller than me but I've been into guys who were my height/shorter, though the latter is not typical for most women. I'm not sure how old you are but definitely think about glowing up. The first things that I noticed about my partner were his hairstyle and that he was a good-dresser. There's also physique etc but since you're into the gym you're probably thinking about that already, there's other things that can really e…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/06/25 12:34 AM
–

How tall are you talking? Well then it's going to be harder. Just like if my type was men was gym-rats or outdoorsmen would be harder for me because I don't enjoy exercise and I have a disability which makes activities like hiking etc a bit more challenging. You basically have to decide at what point your preference is a dealbreaker or not, basically. But your height is not the major barrier you think it is.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/06/25 12:06 AM
–

My partner is about 5'7/5'8. I had rejected men who were taller than him prior to this. It's not the massive barrier that you think it is, as long as you don't have a fetish for very tall women (I'm 5"4/5"5 which is about average) Most women just want someone taller than them. I guess if they wear high-heels a lot they may want someone taller still, because they'd want them to be taller in that case too. I'm the same height as my boyfriend in heels but I very rarely wear them and neither of us c…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/25 11:53 PM
4

I read this thread every week to remind myself that if I'm ever single and looking to date a man, I should lie about my number to weed out hypocrites
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/25 04:27 AM
3

Ah right, I have heard of this. I think as a concept it has a few flaws, but there's truth in it as well for sure! In this case yes, preselection doesn't apply. And honestly, friends of desired girls just having crushes probably just puts the girl off having a crush in the first place to avoid drama. It's like how boy-bands have each of the guys fit an archetype so that girls can buy the same posters but all mentally pair themselves with a different boy and not fight over who is going to marry Z…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/06/25 05:12 AM
12

I have no idea what preselection is, I can't speak on that. I just want to speak, as a former teenage girl who hung out with other teenage girls, and say that a lot of girls will try to avoid being interested in someone that their friends are into. This does not necessarily mean the girls you like like you or dislike you deep down inside, it's just a thing. When I knew that my friends liked a guy, it was like an X appeared over his face. Even if I'd found him cute before, it was just my adherenc…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/06/25 12:52 AM
3

My parents got divorced, so she also used to have my dad's surname so I guess it wasn't an issue when I was born. She actually continued using it professionally for a while until she switched jobs because she's a teacher. It's probably quite cynical of me, but realistically speaking if we had kids and divorced I would probably be the one with primary custody (as it makes more sense with my career) and it was such a headache going anywhere where these things would be checked. I remember once my b…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/25 11:28 PM
3

My little brother is one of these men, he bangs on about "family unity" etc ... And yet our Mother has switched back to our maiden name, and our little sister has our stepfather's surname, and he says it doesn't change how he feels about any of us. The dissonance is wild.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/25 10:23 PM
7

I would never do it. I'm in a weird position where my parents are divorced and I hate my father's family, I can understand why people in similar circumstances want a new one. But I don't really see it that way, my name is my name irrespective of my family. I'm a teacher as well so my last name is used a lot in my day-to-day (I know some married teachers who change their name and keep using their Teacher Name, but I don't want to do this). My partner is a doctor, it would also be a lot of hassle …
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/25 09:24 PM
14

I don't know any women that are. I'm sure that the exist, I just don't know any. My mlm friends are more preoccupied with it.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/25 09:38 AM
1

I answered a personal question, I don't see your issue.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/25 07:41 AM
1

I kind of thought I said it, but for one thing I'm very ambivalent about marriage in general so that's one aspect. I think that broadly speaking, marriage benefits men more than women so I'm not convinced that I should get down on one knee and ask for it myself (I do not want any comments about maintenance payment etc, in my personal experience with my parents divorce and the divorce of other relatives no woman has made off with a load of money - I know of two cases where female relatives paid m…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/25 05:02 AM
1

I personally don't think that I could propose to a man. But I'm very ambivalent about marriage, so this makes sense. Additionally, most people in my country get married at an older age than in the US so my feelings on that may have changed by the time it's really relevant to my life. I feel like in most relationships, unless there's a big income disparity, there's a lot of taking turns with paying for dates.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/25 01:12 AM
3

I notice when guys are more conventionally attractive, I guess. I don't get "flustered" around attractive people though, I'm not fourteen. Does this actually happen to any adult???
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/25 01:05 AM
5

I think that some of these are signs of disinterest, but I think the kinky sex one is blown out of proportion. Some people try shit out because another partner was really into it and because they'd never done it before they gave it a try and found out they weren't into it, so why would they do it again? Or maybe they themselves wanted to try it out of curiosity and also found it wasn't really for them. There's also very different sexual dynamics when you're living with a long-term partner vs som…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/06/25 02:34 PM
6

Your leap in logic is neither sound nor normal. I said nobody should be loved unconditionally - if you are not treated with kindness, dignity, and respect by someone, if they consistently hurt you, you should not love them. That is the bare minimum condition you should have in all relationships - platonic, romantic, and otherwise. Massive jump to "nobody deserves rights" 🙄
/r/PurplePillDebate16/06/25 01:37 PM
5

What a normal reaction to being told that no human on the planet should be loved unconditionally by another
/r/PurplePillDebate16/06/25 01:32 PM
5

The only unconditional love should be the love that a parent has for their child (and even then, I guess that I understand adults who would stop loving their child if they became a serial killer). Nobody else deserves to be loved unconditionally, in any dynamic, and you should not love someone with no conditions.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/06/25 12:35 PM
2

No to the KISS song. Unsure about Robocop, but I hate the artist and consider him to be a misogynist so that could taint my perception.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/25 09:43 AM
2

By this logic talking about pissing in general is sexual. Nobody should ever say they have to take a leak 😤
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/25 03:00 AM
2

I'm not going to take this seriously when I see RP men on this page constantly tell women to "do better" regarding men with abusive tendencies. In this case it didn't even hinder him from finding a new relationship. he's saying she gave him a chance in spite of people warning her, and it came back to bite her. This is a thing that happens that many women can relate to. Deftones, Jeff Buckley, Bug Hunter - even Hozier (super popular with women) - have all written songs about abusive/toxic relatio…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/25 02:58 AM
1

Many men have written equivalent songs about exes who were abusive/fucked them over. I'm not even talking about the outrageous examples like Kim, I'm talking Ed Sheeran level tonally. Don't buy Ed Sheeran, Deserve Me by Bug Hunter, The only thing I can think of with Vampire is that it seems to be partly inspired by older men who manipulate younger women. If you're going to say calling out shitty behaviour from certain men is misandrist, idk what to tell you
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/25 02:10 AM
2

What are these negative undertones? What lyrics in particular?
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/25 02:06 AM
4

OP, I resisted commenting on this earlier and many points have been rightfully addressed but I need to ask why you have such specific beef with the song Vampire which is a barely gender-specific breakup song. I won't even pretend she has no songs with misandrist undertones (because I haven't heard them all, so who knows!) but I do know Vampire and I've got nothing.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/06/25 02:35 PM
6

I agree with your general point re Kim but it's also wild that we're comparing a song about a man fantasising about murdering his ex (who he is name-dropping) and a fairly tonally middle-of-the-road breakup song by a 20 year old 😭 I do not understand OPs point about it being remotely misandrist (Sabrina Carpenter just released a song called Manchild, much better case to be made there!)
/r/PurplePillDebate14/06/25 02:33 PM
1

This is hardly a gendered thing. Shit happens, men and women fall for other people while in relationships/attached to others all the time. I've had guys and girls end relationships with me due to new interest in people, I far preferred the cases where I wasn't strung along. Anyway, every definition of monkey branching I've seen would have her still date her boyfriend while gauging the interest of this other guy so she'd have the support of the first branch while still actively reaching for the n…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/06/25 09:47 AM
2

Your reply doesn't even make sense to the context of my comment. If this is how you respond to the mildest pushback/criticism you're not really the one to talk about maturity.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/06/25 04:59 AM
1

She broke up with her boyfriend the very same day before this guy gave any indication of interest. Sounds like she made the right decision, instead of stringing multiple people along. Would it be more honourable to stay in a relationship when she was pining for someone else?
/r/PurplePillDebate14/06/25 02:45 AM
1

We were in the same friend group as teenagers. He had a crush on me, I was semi-interested up on our first meeting but another girl had liked him for longer and I was a girls-girl first and foremost (I also thought that the feelings between them were mutual) so I shrugged it off. A few months later said girl had moved on, we were chatting at a party and something suddenly changed. I wouldn't call it a lightning strike, but it was a sudden burst of clarity that I really -really- liked this guy. W…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/06/25 02:42 AM
0

Except she let go of the first branch before jumping onto the second - so not monkey branching, surely?
/r/PurplePillDebate14/06/25 01:40 AM
3

I think that's partly a personal problem for people who can't have perspective and realise they have a blind spot, and partly a problem with people caring more about one axis than another This is mainly something that you see happening online, but I agree that the oppression Olympics isn't helpful. If someone were to talk about their experience with homelessness and then someone shouted over them "oh at least you weren't homeless AND x", of course that would be hurtful. But I have never felt inv…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/06/25 12:19 AM
2

I find your question baffling. What good does it do to pretend there aren't different axis of oppression? Saying someone has privilege on the basis of their gender/sexuality/race/ability etc is not the same as calling that person or their life privileged. I'm a white woman who was homeless as a child, I can acknowledge that it sucked but also that it wasn't as bad as it could have been because my mother had the privilege of being college-educated with a professional degree so it was easier for u…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/06/25 11:59 PM
0

Saying "men have privilege" doesn't mean every individual man is lording something over women. It just means that there are certain things he won't be affected by that a woman, in the same position, would be. A homeless black woman would be more at risk of sexual violence, would have to deal with period poverty on top of general poverty, and could be at risk of becoming pregnancy while homeless. Simultaneously, a white homeless women would have some of these issues that the black homeless man do…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/06/25 11:51 PM
2

No, but I'm bisexual so I think that influences things. I may have preferences on terms of the traits I'd want in a long-term partner, but it's not a barrier to arousal.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/06/25 10:45 PM
3

There's a difference between saying something is abnormal and calling a group of people weirdos, and I can't quite believe people over the age of 11 don't grasp that.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/06/25 10:41 PM
11

Why do you have to resort to insults lol, for some people sex just isn't that important.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/06/25 03:07 PM
1

Absolutely. It's honestly not a deal breaker for me unless it extended fully to kissing etc
/r/PurplePillDebate13/06/25 03:06 PM
1

I'm kind of done with this conversation mainly because I don't think we disagree meaningfully in many ways so I think it's a little bit of a waste of time (sorry if I'm blunt, I've had a good few drinks on an empty stomach). I only have two things to say From my observations coding is about as popular with boys and girls, but I of course am speaking about a particular age demographic of primary school children (and of course I teach in a girl's school, so that skews things too) - I do know secon…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/06/25 03:03 PM
2

Or just be upfront from the get-go about things like not wanting to completely share finances and wanting a paternity test? My mother was a victim of financial abuse (my dad stole her paychecks whenever they entered their joint account, and since we were legally homeless she couldn't open a new one) so my partner knows that I'll always have my own separate account.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/06/25 05:54 AM
1

Similarly problematic how? If you're going to bring up trafficking or minors being exploited when talking about casual sex, we're not talking about casual sex. We are talking about rape etc. If there was any question of that, it would be a dealbreaker. But I think it's ridiculous to draw a moral equivalency between the idea that you could be watching and getting off to someone's rape online and someone having a few casual sexual encounters while single with other consenting single adults. If tha…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/25 03:03 PM
1

I don't know, I feel like over 100 is a lot for the age I'm at. But I don't know anyone with a body count nearly that high, except for a few gay men, so I don't see it coming up much in my life. I don't care as much if they want to get off to artwork, I can't ethically think of much wrong unless it's of child characters, but the visual thing just seems lazy to me. People wank without fodder all the time, it's not a necessity. People just get lazy and want the easiest route.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/25 12:32 PM
1

No, there's other caveats. But if a guy is aware of the trafficking and consent issues in the porn industry and continues to engage, that's a no for me because that's against my morals. But a consensual casual sexual encounter, on its own, doesn't indicate anything to me.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/25 12:22 PM
1

This as well
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/25 08:24 AM
1

Just to add as well, many of our schools are under religious patronage so aren't even very outspokenly liberal in those regards etc. Not trying to prove you wrong, it's just a different country!
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/25 08:22 AM
1

I'm not going to engage much further with this conversation. I don't strictly disagree with much of what you're saying, I just don't live in the United States so I'm not going to pretend that I know a whole pile about it's educational system and how schools are today either as someone who went through it or as a teacher. I can only say that lot of what you say doesn't apply in my country - our gender divide among teachers hasn't widened nearly as much in the last twenty years, most schools that …
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/25 08:20 AM
2

Just to summarise the thought better, if you're engaging in casual sex the other person probably consented. Whereas you can be watching videos that people didn't consent to having posted
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/25 06:34 AM
1

The gender divide between male and female teachers is not significantly greater in elementary/primary schools then it was from the 80s and onwards. Interestingly, in my country where the majority of schools are single-sex, boys tend to do perform worse in all-boys schools and better in mixed schools (I don't think this is because of the gender demographics of the teachers, but the boys schools tend to have more male teachers). There's also twice the amount of male principals as female ones thoug…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/25 06:33 AM
2

I was more so thinking of masturbating without direct fodder. Fantasising. Or else erotica, even audio porn that voice actors share on Reddit (admittedly could feasibly have some of the issues with porn, people might be being forced/not a legal age but I feel this altogether isn't as likely to occur). My issues with porn are far more tied to the ethical issues and then just how easy it is to get addicted nowadays because with the internet there's a constant stream of free material that gets prog…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/25 05:29 AM
1

Probably an unpopular opinion, I would think far more positively of a guy who was subscribed to an OnlyFans and never watched free porn than a guy who watches free porn and isn't'. But as other people have pointed out, there is still the parasocial element of things which could cause insecurity in a relationship even if the person stopped subscribing afterwards. Mind you, there are some men who are obsessed with porn stars they don't even financially support so I guess the parasocial dynamic is …
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/25 03:35 AM
1

Not for me - as evidenced by my near ten year relationship with a man like this. It would probably be a turn off for some women, the same way that a man being really into golf or hunting or cars would be a turn off for me personally.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/25 04:03 AM
2

In my limited experience, it is honestly really variable even with the same guy. For me personally, when someone finishes in under 2 minutes isn't a problem - I can't orgasm from PIV, so if it goes on too long it just starts to get uncomfortable. I'd favour a long time spent on foreplay and then a short time on the act itself.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/06/25 07:11 AM
–

**ONE EDIT: Mixed you up with the OP at one point, my bad
/r/PurplePillDebate08/06/25 01:36 PM
–

Fair enough, your comments and this post itself seemed to imply that you think it is a defining polarising issue between men and women across the whole Western world, or that men who support it only pretend to in order to get into women's pants* (a terrible idea, since as a pro-life man the best way to prevent abortions is to not have sex). If that's not what you're saying then great, I don't want to engage any further with people who earnestly use the word "degenerate" in any meaningful capacit…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/06/25 01:35 PM
–

? Some of these guys had girlfriends. Most women I knew at the time were very pro-life, so this take wasn't really gaining the others anything. I remember only two of my female peers speaking out in favour of abortion and even then they had caveats of rape/incest/age. Ironically most of the pushback I got for my pro-life leanings came from my boyfriend. Do you just not believe that there's men that agree with abortion or ...?
/r/PurplePillDebate08/06/25 01:23 PM
3

For the record, I don't think you have to accept anything that's on the table. You can break up with someone for any reason, or choose not to be in a relationship with that person for any reason. You are a free person with a free body and mind. Other people can think whatever they like about whether or not they were good enough reasons. And honestly, looking at how adults function in the world, retroactive jealousy generally seems to be an indicator of other big maturity issues. It's not my prob…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/06/25 10:23 AM
3

The extension of your logic is that it's entitlement and insecurity to ever reads again criticise the fact that someone cares about? Okay - do you have an end point in mind? Because you go right on to say that the demands of these girls are unreasonable too. I think they equally are. I don't think it's really entitlement or insecurity on my part, I don't have a personal stake. I've only dated one person, he's never dated anyone else either, we've been together about a decade and if something hap…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/06/25 10:19 AM
3

I don't know why you're bringing gender into this. I think it's as immature for a grown woman to care her partner loved someone before her than a man to care about that either. My brother's ex used to punish him relentlessly emotionally for having had sex with someone before they even met each other as adults. I told him I thought she wasn't good for him.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/06/25 10:13 AM
3

Entitlement over what? Insecurity over what? For the record, you can define love however you want. But some definitions can reflect immaturity. Eg, teenage girls who buy into the materialistic "if he wanted to he would" etc mentality over their partner getting them a Boo/Brr/Bunny Basket every year without communicating that.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/06/25 10:03 AM
4

He said that normal people don't want to know their partner has loved anyone else. That's very different from hearing the details of every hook-up. If the logic was sound, nobody would date anyone if they knew they'd ever had feelings for another person, and yet new couples get together everyday knowing that.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/06/25 10:01 AM
1

I never claimed people are delighted about the idea, but it's not something you get upset about - nor at a certain point, care much about. Again, otherwise nobody over a certain age would ever date anyone 🙄
/r/PurplePillDebate08/06/25 09:59 AM
-1

Feel free to elaborate on what those certain traits are. By OP's logic though, anyone who has ever dated another person wouldn't be able to get into another relationship afterwards because "normal" people wouldn't be comfortable with the idea. This applies in highschool maybe, but clearly not if you look around at normal adults in the world.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/06/25 09:52 AM
4

I think that, once you're past your early twenties, if you can't handle the fact that someone you're dating has probably loved and/or fucked someone else you are extremely immature. Whatever about similar values, like sure I can see why a very religious person who doesn't believe in sex before marriage at all might be upset if someone they're interested in has had a string of hookups (I think they're being silly, but that's just my opinion) but most people fall in love multiple times in their li…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/06/25 09:46 AM
-2

Most normal grown adults are actually able to accept that their partner probably loved and fucked other people. That is a mainstream position. I'd actually go so far to say as that it demonstrates a level of maturity you need to actually be a grown up.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/06/25 09:30 AM
–

Yeah that definitely fueled how men responded in anonymous exit polls to news outlets to male reporters. I was in a very pro-life environment and it was my first time voting. When speaking candidly to male friends and acquaintances about it (because we were still in school) a lot of them admitted that while they'd like to consider themselves pro-life if they got a girl pregnant they'd want her to get an abortion. Plenty of men are in favour of it (it was in fact one of the things that made me so…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/06/25 02:52 AM
–

Married women are far less likely to seek abortions, what's your point? My country is an interesting case because abortion access was put to a popular vote a few years ago. There isn't official demographic stats of vote breakdown obviously but 65% men at exit polls said they had voted yes which was only 5% lower than the amount of women who gave the same exit polls answer.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/06/25 01:13 AM
2

Definitely see the value in this. Most teachers are really unhappy with the way things are. Ironically, we see a lot of resistance from parents and from people who think things should be done the way it was when they were in school re homework, rote learning, discipline etc Simultaneously however, there are basic skills that need to be learnt in school and increasingly those are not being reinforced at home. I'm not just talking about literacy and maths, but basic behavioral and inter-personal d…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/06/25 04:22 AM
5

I think that it's actually very fair for little boys, and all children, to learn not to shout out slurs and insults, throw things around rooms, and jump on chairs (for safety measures, we have alternative seating, fidget toys and movement breaks if they need the extra stimulus), and finish a worksheet. Just in order to learn how to function in society. Fair enough if you disagree, but that's the general standard and I don't think it's an unreasonable one for little boys.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/06/25 09:45 PM
12

They are falling behind at reading, writing, spelling, oral language development compared to female peers in school, and there is evidence to suggest that this is in part due to discrepancies in how infants are raised based on gender. I don't have time to go through every metric by which this is assessed, measured, and observed. The intellectual disability argument comes with some caveats because there is no conclusive evidence that there is a genetic component to why more boys are diagnosed wit…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/06/25 10:32 AM
6

I think things need to be done to address both issues. I certainly think there are systemic factors in why boys are underperforming, I just won't agree that it's because the schooling system is uniquely set up with girls in mind, when at it's conception female education was taken far less seriously and second-level and higher education was still predominately male-dominated. I think a lot of the issues begin at home.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/06/25 10:19 AM
7

Okay, that's what primary educators are talking about, fair enough I should have been specific. I have no input to make into secondary education in different countries. I can only comment on my sphere which is 5-12 year olds. We already see these discrepancies at the primary level. Far more boys needing reading recovery and academic supports than girls. Now part of that might just be that girls are better at hiding their difficulties - I hid my autism and ADHD for a very long time at school. But…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/06/25 08:07 AM
9

Just to add though - when we talk about the underperformance of boys being a problem, we are talking about numeracy, literacy, and basic interpersonal skills. These actually are important for everyone in society.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/06/25 07:09 AM
7

It hasn't existed for that long, no, and I'd agree that educational systems were not designed with the interests of children in mind (or at least, those interests may have been in mind but were misunderstood - if I want to be charitable). That's only for it being mandatory though, the systems have existed for a long time. I am happy to sit and critique how these systems aren't suited for children generally, or how boys face specific problems in the classroom (girls face others), but I'm flummoxe…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/06/25 07:07 AM
18

The underperformance of young boys in school is an issue, but we need to be realistic and stop pretending that it's because schools and the education system as a whole designed with girls in mind. The school system in the Western world was even harsher, more regimented, and more punitive when girls were discouraged or even actively prevented from receiving an education. There's still parts of the world where that is the case, but these schools still aren't designed in a way that actually lets li…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/06/25 03:58 AM
1

Since OP said "raised in" I'll assume they mean childhood and early teen years. Still far too case-by-case. Kids whose parents divorced amicably while they're still young and get a shared custody arrangement may not deal with much emotional fallout. Whereas I know people whose parents divorced when they were adults and it entirely shattered their world, changed their views on relationship, led to their own breakup in one instance. There's no way of avoiding it unless you only date orphans. Also …
/r/PurplePillDebate04/06/25 03:33 AM
1

High rates of domestic violence. It attracts certain personalities that I would consider negative. The police are very corrupt. I'm not American, but I've had plenty of friends who've had negative experiences with the police for being visibly queer. I myself even in basic instances of just getting documents signed etc have never had a positive interaction with one. I don't respect their profession. I would have to worry about my safety more than I would with another partner because of the additi…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/06/25 12:11 AM
2

Right? Other than that, I fit OPs description to a T. I also know several people raised in 2 parent households who are much wilder, have more mental health issues, more unstable relationships, engage in riskier behaviour etc - because those two parent households weren't happy places and were detrimental to their development as children. It's just far too case by case to be unwilling to compromise on (though people can do whatever they want etc)
/r/PurplePillDebate03/06/25 12:18 AM
0

No; gay marriage, abortion, porn (I don't care if he wants to masturbate and fantasise though), gang, police officer, farmer (I grew up around a lot of farmers, it's not a lifestyle I'm interested in), drunk and hungover every week, sex offender, lost virginity to a prostitute, voted for Donald Trump, wants me to stay at home and raise the kids, five years younger* (this last one is temporary - if we were both over 30 I don't think it matters, but I'm not dating a college student) ... All of the…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/06/25 12:09 AM
3

Can you define behaviours? People's tastes in fashion, makeup/beauty, hair etc change constantly as they age. I wear nowhere near as much makeup as I did when I started dating my partner. If you mean behaviour alone as in actual actions then ignore my comment, the post just specifically mentioned makeup etc and that's what a lot of comments focused on
/r/PurplePillDebate02/06/25 03:07 PM
3

Similar values is a major one. My partner and I don't agree on every single issue under the sun, but we aren't ideologically opposed on anything. But overall even when we have minor disagreements we have the same values. My mother instilled this one in me after her marriage with my father broke down, particularly in regards to his family's values being at odds with ours. Common interests are less important than values, but still important to an extent. I think openness to each other's interests …
/r/PurplePillDebate02/06/25 12:48 PM
3

He replied to me (in love together for 9 years) that it would be better to take the advice of people together that long who aren't in a loving relationship haha
/r/PurplePillDebate02/06/25 10:39 AM
3

Relationships generally work a long time because the people remain in love. From your description it seems like you're not distinguishing the type of love that exists in successful long term relationships from the head-rush honeymoon phase. I stress the loving nature as important because people can be in long-term relationships and marriages that aren't happy/loving, that involve abuse, cheating, apathy, turning a blind eye etc but that doesn't really lead to good advice because most people want…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/06/25 06:00 AM
4

I'm aware that dealing with different personalities is part of relationships, I specifically referenced the personality disorders part. I fail to see the correlation between people being in love being unable to give relationship advice, and people who haven't dealt with people with different personality disorders being unable to give advice about dealing with those disorders. These things are unrelated. There are people who've never been in love who haven't dealt with these disorders. There are …
/r/PurplePillDebate02/06/25 05:34 AM
5

This is where you're going to lose me because I think that we have entirely different worldviews. What, was there some kind of update in the last few years that led to the invention of brand new personality disorders that seemingly effect a huge number of people? Advice with dealing with people with x condition is is pretty unrelated to general relationship/dating advice, sure. Nothing in your post indicated that that is what you were actually talking about, so I entered this discussion under fa…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/06/25 04:09 AM
6

I think largely, having read and listened to advice from other people myself at different stages, the advice I've received from friends in similar positions to myself and the advice from people who've had numerous other relationships prior to their current long-term one, is almost identical. There are certain components that make a long term relationship work, irrespective of having prior relationships and I don't think - from my own experience giving and receiving advice - there's any real disc…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/06/25 03:42 AM
9

I feel it's very context dependent. I'm in no real position to give dating advice as I've been with my partner for nearly a decade, we hadn't dated anyone else previously, and we met organically so I've never had to use an app - I can agree there. But I definitely think people in loving long term relationships are in the position to give actual relationship advice.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/06/25 03:20 AM
2

Because I imagine that most men don't want their girlfriend saying "Yeah he has a small dick!" regardless of whether or not they're complimenting it or not? Look, I'm fat. Objectively speaking re BMI. This is seemingly not an issue for my partner - I was fat when we got together, looking at other girls he's liked and there's a common physique. I'm lucky that, while I have back-fat and chubby upper arms which I dislike, I also have hourglass proportions (chest-waist-hips/ass) which is part of wha…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/05/25 06:59 AM
2

I'd definitely say this is true. I'm probably better at eyeballing than a lot of other women but it's only because I spend a significant portion of my professional life using a ruler. Another factor is that most women, especially in long-term relationships, don't want to expose their partner's penis size. So even if a woman actually prefers average-to-smaller size (and there are women who definitely do), they probably won't say it outside of the internet where they can be anonymous, because they…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/05/25 12:38 PM
1

My Mam fought tooth and nail for this arrangement (or for full custody anyway, but she couldn't get it because my dad had better lawyers), so it's clearly close to what she wanted because my dad was trying to get full custody as well. We didn't have any daycare expenses thankfully (couldn't have afforded it as he stole all her savings while they still shared an account) because my maternal grandparents looked after us and my Mam was a teacher so she had the same holidays as us etc. But it didn't…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/05/25 09:37 PM
1

Many. My weekend dad scenario was ideal personally, I liked it more than my parents living together. It was also fine for my friends who had that as young children, apart from the one with the weekend mother but there were other factors at play with the mother. The ones whose parents divorced when they were older either had flexibility to visit x parent when they wanted (due to living in the same area) or else only saw the parent once or twice a year because the other parent moved far away which…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/05/25 03:14 PM
1

This sounds like a nightmare scenario for most children in terms of logistics.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/05/25 06:35 AM
1

I mean, I agree with you there but the post is about straight women. I didn't mention a specific sexuality in my comment. I would argue that bi women not dating bi men is more about homophobia than biphobia, though the latter isn't impossible.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/05/25 06:44 AM
1

I mean, it's objectively incorrect to say that no one else to partakes in it. Furries make up a large amount of the internet.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/05/25 01:53 AM
7

As a queer neurodivergent woman I totally agree, and I really don't see what's so controversial about what you're saying. If you're "unconventional" it makes sense that you'd have relationship success with other "unconventional" people - queer people gravitate towards queer people, neurodivergent people gravitate to neurodivergent people, and so on
/r/PurplePillDebate16/05/25 01:52 AM
1

As someone whose looked into these controls recently in educational research, you'd be correct. Poverty etc is a far bigger indicator. It drives me mad that people would assume I, a middle-class person born to a college-educated mother who just happened to get divorced and raise me as a single parent with the help of my extremely involved grandparents, as equally at risk as the child of a single mother in poverty. It makes it difficult to talk about and address the main issues and influences. As…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/25 04:44 AM
1

It is accurate to say that according to data it is generally better for kids to be in a two-parent household. What strikes me as illogical is to say "It's always worse for kids, trust me - I know this because I was raised in one". You were presenting yourself as the authority on the matter and making an absolute statement based on your personal experience. Additionally, while the general statistics are broadly accurate there are nuances there too. For instance, when controlling for poverty etc t…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/25 04:28 AM
1

That and the fact that you're saying "always". Generally speaking, sure. Always means always though.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/25 04:10 AM
2

My issue is when you said "Trust me I know" based entirely on your own personal experience.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/25 04:08 AM
2

Speak for yourself, I was raised in a single parent household and was much better off for it. Almost like we can't make blanket-statements.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/25 11:45 PM
1

It always baffles me that we ignore the other factors. Broadly speaking, most single fathers are single fathers because the mother of their children has passed away. That is not the case with single mothers where there's often other factors like abuse/addiction/abandonment etc which I would argue is what has the greater effect. Poverty is another major factor in these cases. I'll put it this way - if a 35 year old single woman who has a high-paying job and wants kids but doesn't have a partner d…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/25 11:44 PM
11

Most of the time I've witnessed this being said to women is in the context of domestic violence and sexual assault in relationships even after they'd been together years, not "oh the hot guy who was a serial cheater ended up cheating again!" It was said to me about my mother re my father. As if she could have predicted that after seven years of marriage he'd get into a car accident, suffer a severe head injury which left him with brain damage, which then led to him becoming an abusive addict and…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/05/25 01:04 AM
1

?? I don't get your comment. If you mean you don't need a valid reason to not date anyone you're right, nobody should force you to date anyone. The reasons can still be bigoted though.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/05/25 12:20 PM
2

Like in this particular case, it is the 35 year old woman who is the inexperienced one who has not come to terms with her sexuality, and it was my friend who approached her after they bonded via a book club at their college where the 35 year old is attending as a mature student. It feels like a very different scenario to the older people eyeing teenagers at Pride
/r/PurplePillDebate07/05/25 03:45 PM
1

I think it's a difficult conversation with some nuances - speaking as a young sapphic woman who was also taken advantage of my older sapphic women. And if it was an 18 year old, or even someone under 20, I'd be more wary but I do think 25 is another story and, knowing this woman personally, I also know she has been out since she was 14 with a very accepting family who has dated extensively, mostly women her own age. Mind you, I also had gay male friends taken advantage of as teenagers by older g…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/05/25 03:43 PM
3

My take on age gaps is that if it's a consistent pattern or rule you have to only date a certain significantly younger age group, it's weird. Particularly when the people who date younger don't have friendships with people in that same age group. But there are too many exceptions to the rule, particularly in queer dating circles (I'm not saying iffy dynamics don't still exist, but I know a 24 year old lesbian who has been on the scene since she was 14 dating a 32 year old late-in-life lesbian wh…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/05/25 02:22 PM
9

Bi woman here. Obviously you can date whoever you want and not date whoever you want. I haven't heard any woman give a reason why they wouldn't date a bi man that isn't rooted in biphobia/homophobia - and that includes this post.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/05/25 10:17 PM
–

What do you classify as short, just put of curiosity? Most women who date men just want a few inches taller than themselves.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/05/25 03:10 PM
9

Many feminists don't argue sex work is empowering. I want sex workers to have legal protections, not go to prison, etc - and I think people who hire sex workers should be shamed (though crucially not criminalized, because that gives the buyer more power). This is the more common feminist position than "empowerment"
/r/PurplePillDebate06/05/25 02:53 AM
–

"Male teachers are needed so that they can be role models for little boys and they should be paid more than their female colleagues for it!" "Kids won't respect male teachers because they're low testosterone men!" I think that you just have issues with women and with teachers in general. No wonder teaching us a fucked profession in America, I'm glad that I'm in a country where my male colleagues and I are paid equally (though men are more likely to be principals)
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/25 11:59 PM
9

Probably any man who has female friends at some point ...?
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/25 11:35 PM
1

By "I'm not interested" I don't mean people saying "I'm not interested in dating" I mean just not being interested in -that person-
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/25 11:30 PM
1

Okay but the point that I'm making is that sometimes "I'm not interested" is as accurate as it gets, to elaborate further would be the dishonest thing because you would essentially be making something up when the reality is as simple as not being interested. I think it's also strange to need people to reveal their trauma or whatever in the circumstance you've talked about to get people to respect a "no"
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/25 11:29 PM
2

It's just one I hadn't seen brought up yet!
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/25 11:08 PM
1

But telling them they're not attractive isn't always accurate. What I don't get about this is that plenty of men and women reject people who are normal and attractive all the time, yet men online can't fathom that this regular occurrence happens.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/25 11:06 PM
2

As an educator I find this topic really interesting. I truly think that a significant factor is home culture - I think that parents, especially mothers, tend to put more pressure on their daughters to do well academically than their sons. There's a myriad of reasons for this, but one I haven't seen discussed is the fact that, in living memory, there have been more barriers to girls education than boys. My grandmother only has an elementary level education because the boys of the family were prio…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/25 06:41 AM
2

People love to complain about this one short video from the literal marketing team of a start-up as if there aren't plenty of men whose jobs are also just sending emails all day 😭
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/25 06:33 AM
–

But regardless you're right, I assume any size dick can cause pain based on force, positions, and the woman's body herself. I just thought the idea that women love the feeling of pain after taking a dick is probably largely untrue (I'm sure some women do, and that's totally fair)
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/25 06:05 AM
–

Yeah, but we've been together for nearly a decade so any conversation had was several years ago so I've long forgotten the reported length. I'm fairly good at eyeballing measurements because I do it a lot in my job, it seems about average based on general statistics online. My female friends and I don't really discuss it because my friend group has more sapphic women in it than average (I'm bisexual as well, but my partner is the only person I've actually dated so this hasn't been relevant to my…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/25 06:03 AM
–

Definitely, I'm pretty sure my partner is average sized (I've nothing else to compare it to) and certain positions make a big difference
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/25 12:40 AM
1

What exactly is dishonest about "I'm not feeling it" - sometimes that's simply the truth. If you don't feel a spark or some degree of romantic chemistry or attraction, why make something up?
/r/PurplePillDebate19/04/25 02:42 PM
15

Just to say, I tell my partner all the time that it's a nice sore but it's mainly for his sake so he doesn't feel bad and gets a bit of an ego-boost. I don't think that most women actually find the sore feeling itself nice, it's just something we have to deal with afterwards
/r/PurplePillDebate19/04/25 02:30 PM
2

I think that the icks thing is extremely overblown. It's not a modern phenomenon, people have always been turned off by superficial things in the early stages of infatuation. Girls have given me 'the ick", guys have given me "the ick", it's a normal phenomenon when you're not in love.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/04/25 01:41 PM
1

And people in the groups I mentioned will just have to suck it up and be lonely, I guess? Most couples I know met online and in my case and in their case there have been significant periods of long-distance (across different countries) and we probably wouldn't still be together without it. I don't think social media and apps themselves are killing relationships, I think the pandemic was a huge factor and subsequent economic issues in terms of housing, going out being more expensive, and (for a l…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/04/25 11:55 PM
4

I met my partner organically, the apps sound stressful to me from the testimonies of different friends of mine, I wouldn't use them myself. But similarly I have friends in the queer community and disabled friends who wouldn't have the same opportunities to date (a largely inaccessible urban environment with a tiny and expensive gay scene where all the bars have too-mainstream non-queer appeal) who have been able to thanks to social-media, dating apps. Hell even with my partner, we lived on oppos…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/04/25 05:24 AM
9

And all of the people who have found it helpful? Say you're queer in a non-urban area, or disabled and unable to go out to bars etc to meet people organically as much? With social media, what about maintaining long distance relationships (which is a million times easier now than pre-internet)I do think that dating apps/social media have issues, but a blanket ban is not really a solution. It will improve things for some people, sure, but there's a lot of people being overlooked.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/04/25 01:14 AM
–

I don't really understand your comment. The cases I've come across are entirely girls dating a person online, liking their company and them, but the other person hemming-and-hawing or wanting to keep options open, and then the feelings of my friend are hurt ... they take a break from the apps for a while and then usually the cycle is repeated. These are women dating men, women, nonbinary people, whatever. The apps are a minefield for everyone right now and the apps have made it more difficult fo…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/01/25 01:12 PM
1

I don't think this is a gendered issue. I've never been on the apps, but all of my female friends who are on them want commitment and are finding it difficult to attain - these are people who date men and people who date women.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/01/25 07:11 AM
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