~ archived since 2018 ~
~ archived since 2018 ~
| Upvotes | Title | Category | Author | Subreddit | Date (UTC) |
|---|
| Upvotes | Comment on | Subreddit | Date (UTC) |
|---|---|---|---|
| 3 | Opinions? Considering Disclosing STBXW's affair on Social MediaYeah, don’t play all your cards unnecessarily and get your divorce finalised first. This was the main reason my divorce went through so smoothly - she really didn’t want her mum and friends and neighbours knowing she was a cheating hussy. When we first split, I was planning to clear my name as a bit of petty revenge once it had all gone through, but by the time it was all done and dusted, we’d been no contact for a long time (except to send paperwork back and forth), I had a whole new life in an… | /r/Divorce_Men | 09/09/24 10:47 AM |
| 4 | Anyone have a success Story of a Second Marriage?So far, so good. But they all love you like you’re Patrick Swayze right up until the day they decide they don’t anymore. | /r/Divorce_Men | 02/09/24 12:15 AM |
| 2 | Divorce copingYeah, in the first year, I once semi-seriously considered jumping off a bridge and onto the train tracks on the way back from a night out. So glad I didn’t, as how my life is now to how I felt then is night and day. You won’t believe people when they say it, as you can’t see beyond your grief when you’re in the thick of it, but things really will improve over time. There’s no quick fix, unfortunately. Just have to follow the advice so many people give, and that’s to work out like a madman, take … | /r/Divorce_Men | 01/09/24 11:53 PM |
| 4 | "Happier After Divorce"Sorry to hear that. Hope things look up for you soon. If you got blindsided by divorce, then it definitely takes its toll on you. Took me years to get back to feeling good. In terms of finances and housing, she set me back about a decade, maybe more. Just got to keep plugging away at it - if you can make today just a little better than yesterday in any way, then you slowly get where you need to be. It’s ok to allow yourself to feel miserable though - try and set a timer, or give yourself a limit… | /r/Divorce_Men | 01/09/24 06:57 AM |
| 3 | How did you find out about the affair partner?I was embarrassed for mine when I saw the messages they were sending, too. A load of deluded nonsense, and the guy was blatantly feeding her BS, not that it excused her actions and nor was it my problem. It was a double blow - I’d not only got married to a lying cheat, but a total idiot as well. | /r/Divorce_Men | 31/08/24 02:37 PM |
| 12 | How did you find out about the affair partner?She’d been acting funny for months. Getting easily irritated, sulky, stopped small kindnesses like making me cups of tea, and just generally took minimal interest in my life. I just put it down to other stuff going on in our lives and I trusted her 100%, so never questioned when she kept going out for staff leaving parties with workmates (I just thought, wow that company has high staff turnover!). What tipped me off was one day I needed some scrap paper for a shopping list and her notebook was r… | /r/Divorce_Men | 31/08/24 06:27 AM |
| 6 | She's banging someone elseIt’s funny that I waited until confirmation that my ex was cheating before I pulled the trigger, but she’d been god-awful to live with for a long time prior to this. I was still a naive sap back then, so tried my hardest to fix things, make her happy, thinking it was all my shortcomings to blame etc. And of course I never believed she’d cheat in a million years, because she was the one and she was different (aren’t they all!). But in truth it didn’t really matter, because if I’d had any actual s… | /r/Divorce_Men | 30/08/24 12:51 AM |
| 1 | AITA for wanting to report them to HRGreat advice | /r/Divorce_Men | 28/08/24 05:24 AM |
| 6 | AITA for wanting to report them to HRYeah, your ex is in affair fog and probably thinks he walks on water at the moment. But she would have thought the same thing about you when you first hooked up. Things are all exciting for her now, I’m sure, but they don’t even live together yet. Even if he sticks around to get married, the foundation for that marriage is two cheaters who work together, one of whom has ptsd, they have family in different countries, and there’s kid(s) in the picture. That’s not exactly a recipe for happy ever af… | /r/Divorce_Men | 27/08/24 03:04 PM |
| 5 | Cheater STBXW is suddenly being nice to me 4 months after divorce filing 6 months after DDayWho knows what she’s feeling. Here’s what you know for a fact: she cheated on you, so any words that come out of her mouth in the future should always be treated as suspect, even if you think she’s being sincere. It’s like how you’d never be able to trust a dog and would have to get rid of it once it’s snapped at your kid. | /r/Divorce_Men | 27/08/24 02:53 PM |
| 7 | AITA for wanting to report them to HRIt’s a safe bet that your ex-wife’s new relationship is going to go tits up as soon as reality sets in without you having to do anything. If it were me, I’d keep my hands clean and let things play out. | /r/Divorce_Men | 27/08/24 02:42 PM |
| 7 | Just got the divorce papers sent to me. Really is hitting hard. How to cope?What snapped me out of it was knowing that I while I was sat around all depressed and feeling sorry for myself, she was out there having a grand old time and not sparing a thought for me. As she’d already wasted enough of my time and energy while we were together, continuing to allow her to have an effect on my life and mood after we’d separated was unacceptable to me. Wasn’t as easy as flicking a switch in my head though - just have to keep reminding yourself and stay busy. | /r/Divorce_Men | 27/08/24 03:55 AM |
| 5 | Letting goEventually you get to the point where you realise that it’s not the person you fell in love with who is gone. It’s just the mask that they wore while they were with you that has been discarded. You look back and see all the little tells that were always there but you always made excuses at the time or just couldn’t spot them from the height of the pedestal you’d put your partner on. | /r/Divorce_Men | 23/08/24 02:55 PM |
| 3 | Wife left me after 6 years of marriageSame thing happened to my brother. His ex-wife conveniently ready to skip out only after he’d supported her through uni and gave her all the time she needed to find her dream job. Her career takes off and he’s gradually surplus to requirements. All women will love you like you’re Patrick Swayze up until the point they decide they don’t anymore and you’ll never get an honest or logical answer from them as to why, so don’t waste your time asking for one. | /r/Divorce_Men | 23/08/24 07:44 AM |
| 6 | Blindsided AGAINThey’re probably just trying to get you to lose your shit so they can say ‘see, I told you he’s out of control’. Don’t play into their hands and stay cool. | /r/Divorce_Men | 23/08/24 03:54 AM |
| 1 | How do you handle fear of not finding anyone new?Yeah, when you get your life turned upside down with divorce, it does knock your confidence big time, as you’ve had your current identity stripped away, and then there’s the associated financial setbacks, personal sense of failure and perceived stigma as well. We all have to go through it. So of course you’re not going to feel happy and charming until you’ve dusted yourself off and everything is more settled. It’s not something you can just recover from in six months. Think of it like you were a… | /r/Divorce_Men | 23/08/24 03:45 AM |
| 3 | How do you handle fear of not finding anyone new?If you managed to convince one person to marry you, why couldn’t you do it again? And no-one really gives a shit if you’re divorced these days, as long as you’re baggage free, so don’t worry about that part. Anyone who gets put off by it isn’t that attracted to you anyway, so it was always going to go bad at some point. Think you’re putting the cart before the horse though. You first need to get to a good place as a single person before you go looking for other women. Accept the stuff about your… | /r/Divorce_Men | 15/08/24 02:18 AM |
| 13 | LonelinessSeeing happy couples while you’re going through a divorce is definitely depressing as shit. But the funny thing is that a lot of those happy people would be equally as jealous about the freedom you have to do whatever you want whenever you want. The grass always looks greener. Make the most of being single while you can, stay comfortable being alone (going to see the music by yourself was a strong move, you should be proud of yourself) and don’t care so much about the bad dates or feel like you … | /r/Divorce_Men | 10/08/24 10:40 AM |
| 6 | What are some of the most important lessons you've learned from your divorce that you wish you could share with younger men facing similar situations?Compromise is OK, but your goals come first. Don’t ever change your life plans for a woman. Set boundaries early and enforce them, don’t hesitate to walk away if you give an ultimatum and they cross that line. It shows they have no respect for you. Always have an exit plan. Don’t carry any debt that you need their help to pay, have savings so you can bail when you need to. Always be able to take care of every aspect of your life alone. Shut down any disrespect as soon as it comes up. So many peo… | /r/Divorce_Men | 03/08/24 10:39 AM |
| 15 | AMITA - she's setting traps for meSo she’s working with her affair partner to test if you could respect boundaries? Repeat that to yourself a few times and see if that makes any kind of logical sense. From what you’ve written, she already has zero respect for you, don't let her take you for a fool as well. | /r/Divorce_Men | 03/08/24 12:11 AM |
| 15 | My situationI’d start getting your ducks in a row and consult a divorce lawyer. A break basically means I want to see how it goes with the new person, I’ll be back for a bit if it doesn’t work out. Don’t touch any booze from now on. Last thing you need is her to be able to claim you’re an abusive drunk. It will be hard, but worth it when you come out on the other side. It just takes time. | /r/Divorce_Men | 02/08/24 11:59 PM |
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