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PrideAndPotions Archive

View 0 posts and 273 comments by PrideAndPotions on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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–

I do think men have a tendency to see promiscuous women as more like an object. Not a thing, per se, but not fully fleshed out as even a stranger walking down the street. That is because he assigned the promiscuous woman a certain value or worth to him, defining her more by him than her, if that makes sense.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/07/25 03:01 PM
–

I would say OP's dichotomy is present mostly in those that have some ideas about sex being "dirty," such as in more orthodox versions of religion. I do think men often place women in categories of wife material vs placeholder vs sex-only/casual partner. I think many men won't always directly tell the latter two he will never marry them. He will show them just enough interest and promises, though, that the women can be confused about how he does see them. That is, he uses unconsciously intermitte…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/07/25 02:56 PM
–

I think anytime we talk about compensating for non-marketplace work, we go down the transactional relationship rabbit hole that is an ultimately lose-lose prospective. Do we need to be more aware that pregnancy, recovery from birth, and breastfeeding take a toll on the woman, including energy, mental attention, and libido? And that a partner needs to be aware of it and pitch in more or in the case of libido, expect different levels than pre-pregnancy and child free? Yes. But I would presume the …
/r/PurplePillDebate18/07/25 02:39 PM
1

To add another clarification and a new point, I reject the idea women universally decide on a standard on these matters, that they should do so, or that I need to abide by whatever the perceived standard is.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/07/25 11:52 AM
1

To clarify further, I mean women do not have the same opinion on cold approaches. To add another example, on being approached as friend material first and then being asked out--women don't have a universal opinion on that either, because, well, women have different wants and feelings on the matter. You can't expect consensus there any more than them agreeing on who should be president. To expect it is to objectify, and it is a problem for both sides in different ways.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/07/25 11:44 AM
0

I think the strawman is yours because you read certain discussions or topics into my statement that I didn't make. Maybe you read too fast. It happens. I also didn't reply to one of my own responses, where more context would have been clear. My point came after reading the discussions of some who get frustrated at a lack of consensus on women about being approached, that those men's frustrations come in part from expecting consensus. If you treat women as if they should all agree instead of reco…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/07/25 10:55 AM
1

I think we have very different point of view and beliefs, so I will end my part here. But thank you for sharing your pov.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/07/25 02:58 AM
-2

Do you believe most women are seeking a leader, a protector, and provider (as in only one who has a job)?
/r/PurplePillDebate16/07/25 02:28 AM
-4

Most people see each other as people. I do believe certain people don't do so easily. For example, those who seek a universal toggle to flip to get women to say yes to a date. Or those who get frustrated that all women do not hold the same opinion on cold approach and then blame women for being inconsistent or liars because of that. Those mindsets point toward seeing women as other than individuals.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/07/25 02:14 AM
4

Yes, I imagine it is easier to do the girlfriend experience for a short amount of time to multiple people, with breaks you choose, versus 24/7 girlfriend experience. Not to mention if she upsets one client, or he her, she can just replace him. With the one guy, not so much. Basically, she has more power with her own client base. Opposite happens when she is a mistress to one. Eta: to be honest, it is like what freelancers talk about. They have control over time, income, who they work for versus …
/r/PurplePillDebate15/07/25 11:28 PM
0

From some of the comments and frustrations expressed in this thread, I can't help but think the issue is for men who see women as objects (that is, not individuals),they get upset women don't respond like ... objects. Turns out objectification is just as bad for the objectifier as the objectified.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/07/25 11:13 PM
-4

Not our fault that women can't seem to give coherent and useful advice. If they don't like it they only have themselves to blame. Maybe instead of blaming women for something they are not (universally the same/hiveminds), instead look at why you want them to be so?
/r/PurplePillDebate15/07/25 11:03 PM
11

Women have no consensus and don't try to make one. Not every woman wants to be left alone, not every woman hates to be asked out by a friend, etc. They just don't confront each other enough to hash this stuff out. The thing is, if you ask for simple compartmentalized advice, you will get simple compartmentalized answers. Here is such a one for this: don't look for the one-size-fits-all answer that turns women into one-size-fits-all prospects. The more you seek the secret, the hack, the cheat cod…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/07/25 10:45 PM
2

And in the context of OPs post, I can't imagine what better leadership looks like. I doubt it involves things like better meeting the needs of those who follow or servant-leader qualities.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/07/25 05:49 PM
5

A person can and should value themselves without another person valuing them. On the more transactional mindset, I always wondered ... are these people seeking another person with that mindset, or do they prefer a person who doesn't keep score as the primary way of viewing the relationship. If the second, then it is not even about "earning" something, but getting over on someone as the main driver.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/07/25 05:15 PM
6

I saw on the nice guys reddit an excellent summation of this mindset: a sex vending machine. If he does this or that, he is essentially owed sex. But that is part of the objectification that women are speaking against. Cleaning up after oneself and helping to maintain his living environment are just things you are supposed to do. Same with doing "emotion" things like listening to a partner; you are just supposed to want to know more about her or to help her when she needs it. (Of course, vice ve…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/07/25 05:05 PM
14

Yes, because, for one, it does not follow that a man who only wants a woman for sex is going to be that interested in her enjoyment. Higher odds that it is all about him that way.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/07/25 04:51 PM
2

Sometimes, knowing they are getting away with something is part of the decision to cheat. Still immature, but half the fun is rebellion or knowing they can hurt someone else.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/07/25 12:01 PM
3

Two virgins getting together wouldn't preclude either from stepping out eventually. Probably in an ideal world, people with stronger non-monogamy tendencies would have relationships with like people. Such as, a husband who has to have side partners to be happy getting together with a woman who also wants that for herself, and both agree to do so.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/07/25 11:56 PM
1

I think they will eventually focus more research on this area, because I truly believe it is far more pervasive than people realize. The "nightmare family" type trauma just warps so much of the child's and later adult's sense of what is healthy. I am glad you found that diagnosis. And I agree, therapy that is trauma informed is key to breaking free.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/07/25 11:38 PM
0

It’s more about doing some sick stunts to get her attention, being a dancing monkey Can you give examples of stunts and the metaphorical dance? I have yet to see a woman who’s not a follower type especially with the right guy Then, I don't see the issue of a woman being more a responder than an initiator in conversation. It sounds like she is being what the dominant/leader personality wants. That is, she is following, not leading.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/07/25 11:33 PM
0

What does "entertain" mean here? Does it mean coming up with things you want to tell her about yourself and asking things you'd like to learn about her? Or something else? Also, if she is mostly just responding to what you tell her and ask her, but not doing a lot of the telling and questioning on her own, doesn't that potentially indicate she is the follower type personality that a lot of red pill men say they prefer? Or is it more those men who want submissive/follower women just want her to b…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/07/25 11:21 PM
2

I agree about the effort point you made and want to add to it. There are threads on PPD and elsewhere on ONS/ hookups and why women tend to not like them as much. One reason is high odds of bad sex, and quite a few men admit that it is deliberate. That they put no effort into pleasing the woman. Their general explanations run from pleasing a woman is for relationships, they won't see her again so no consequences, they just want to get off, they put in the work to "land her" so she owes him pleas…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/07/25 08:07 PM
2

Just spitballing here, but after reading this, and the part about the family, my thought is, have you looked into CPTSD? There are a few reddits on the topic. I discovered it, and it explained why I had such difficulty with self-esteem, socializing, motivation, etc. Knowing the why helped me start turning my life around because typical self-help material just didn't work for me and isn't meant for people with issues like that or are neuroatypical. Just an idea.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/07/25 05:00 PM
1

What is the woman's style? A lot of expensive, name brand items, and shopping for them makes up a significant pastime for her? Then yeah, she is likely more interested in a partner who also does that. But other types (ones with a favorite band shirt she wears all the time, or mostly unbranded clothes, for instance) have different preferences. Not a hard and fast rule, but people put a lot time and effort into their appearance, and you can guess at their habits that way.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/07/25 05:23 PM
16

The desire to explore is not the same as the desire to lead. I also imagine leaders need to be able to manage risk besides take it.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/06/25 12:14 PM
2

Sorry they made your difficult times worse.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/06/25 11:01 PM
-1

That is not right. Sounds like both lacked empathy. That is, it was a "her" problem, not a "you" problem. Were these the only times they showed that lack of empathy?
/r/PurplePillDebate17/06/25 08:34 PM
1

Because I am not always on my phone. I am looking at the response now.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/06/25 08:30 PM
3

Can you give examples of or define more concretely both "opening up" and what "blowing up the relationship" looks like? What I am envisioning may be leagues away from what you are.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/06/25 05:42 PM
1

It may be associated with that, but it really is a great way to encapsulate the mental processes that go with vigilance and planning and reviewing results, as well as awareness of people involved and affected. I think it works as a shorthand for these concepts.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/06/25 02:31 AM
1

See my reply to Mindless Rooster for what I was musing about regarding the connection to mental load.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/06/25 02:27 AM
2

No, mental load isn't gender specific. Not to me, anyway. It is just a way of describing what goes on behind the scenes. I think people who are managers, organizers, and leaders tend to use that structure. I think people who are followers and straight doers prefer not to, most likely to save mental energy. And I think people also switch which role they are depending on what the project is, how much they care, how much they know about it, etc. So my point is that follower mindset might be underly…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/06/25 06:28 PM
1

I am asking you to clarify. Your point seems abstract. Can you add some concrete details?
/r/PurplePillDebate16/06/25 11:15 AM
2

By the way, I still don't think submission is natural because, in many cases, the submitter is still trying to change or influence things from behind the scenes. In this case, submission simply is an attempt to avoid harm, punishment, or a loss of rights/possessions while still trying to steer or control the outcome. Some of these negatives to avoid aren't coming from the one being submitted to, but society as a whole or religious beliefs. I still think it is inherent in people to want to contro…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/06/25 11:10 AM
1

Would you be able to clarify your comment? What pattern are you indicating in response to my comment?
/r/PurplePillDebate16/06/25 10:51 AM
4

What do you envision being together is about if it doesn't include the little things people do for each other out of love?
/r/PurplePillDebate16/06/25 01:23 AM
2

I really wonder how many people are prone to taking the initiative on their own anyway, unless it is to their own immediate benefit. It is just like how you see job applications describing the ideal candidate as one with initiative and self-direction. Some people's natural tendencies may be to do only what is asked and not think about anything until the next task is requested of them. If leader and follower is a spectrum, these people may just be on the more extreme side of following.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/06/25 01:05 AM
1

I think it relates to concepts seen in the mental load discussions, too. Attunement and anticipation. In that example of the dead flowers, she could expect awareness of his surroundings and awareness that she likes flowers due to other times she liked flowers. Knowing this and seeing the dead flowers could then trigger the desire to replace them with fresh. Those more prone to this ( attunement and looking around seeing what needs to be done and doing it) are more likely to buy flowers without b…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/06/25 12:51 AM
1

I don't think submission as a way of being, versus a choice in certain situations,is natural in women either. To think otherwise seems to go against the natural instinct for control. Science seems to indicate that the desire for control is important to people. "“The need for control is a biological imperative,” a group of Columbia University psychologists wrote in the journal Trends in Cognitive Sciences in 2010. When people believe they are in control, they tend to work harder and push themselv…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/06/25 12:20 AM
5

Also, most women are not interested in performing sex work. You might use AI to create videos and maybe we'll see some bots in the future, but as things are now, there aren't that many women willing to sell access to their bodies. Agreed. I wish I could remember the resource I read about prostitution in the 1800s. Maybe it is derived from Mayhew. Either way, it pointed out that a category of women engaged in the profession were those who were in the clothing and accessories industry. They didn't…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/06/25 11:46 PM
3

Yes, after the initiation (guy asking her out), if she did nothing, the relationship wouldn't progress anywhere. It takes two to tango, so to say.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/06/25 11:28 PM
2

Yup. You can look at trends in historical romance for an example. More forced seduction (bodice rippers) in the earlier generations of the genre. Around the 2000s I think it was that we saw a shift away from that. Not many bodice rippers in the 2020s.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/06/25 11:23 PM
0

Thank you!
/r/PurplePillDebate14/06/25 10:57 PM
2

She is jealous of some aspects of WFH (and thus you) but is self-aware enough to realize WFH's negatives are not for her. It has nothing to do with masculinity.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/06/25 08:51 PM
0

I love books about that time period. Can you share the title and author?
/r/PurplePillDebate14/06/25 08:34 PM
2

Abusers are more likely to have success with people with low self-esteem and poor boundaries. They're more likely to tolerate mistreatment while still hoping for love or change. One of the common traits of an abuser is that they come off as great people to others, but are anything but to their victim. That act can make victims feel isolated or disbelieved, which hurts them getting help. I don't believe simplifying it to "mental instability" or a socioeconomic group helps the dialogue about abuse…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/06/25 02:58 PM
1

Thanks for the extra details. I will be on the lookout for it.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/06/25 08:49 PM
1

You are on. I need an excuse to watch another period drama--or rather I don't need an excuse. Lol. I didn't know this one existed. Eta: clarity by period drama freak
/r/PurplePillDebate13/06/25 08:46 PM
1

Would Mr. Eko from Lost have that energy?
/r/PurplePillDebate13/06/25 08:41 PM
1

Thanks. I'll watch some clips. I really want to see this vibe because on paper, it sounds awesome.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/06/25 08:39 PM
1

Thanks. I'll check them out.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/06/25 08:37 PM
3

I think it is because I have ADHD like traits. I just don't have the attention span for it. I don't like to watch sports on TV or live. The worst for me has to be racing cars. It is like a super condensed version of what I hate about sports: the repetition. Ironically, sports movies are not an instant no to me. Some are, but with others, the story is pretty engaging. Sports video games? I loved Mario Kart and FZero. Quite a few of those games were fun. Don't play that type these days, though.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/06/25 08:30 PM
5

Are there any actors that fit the bill? I am trying to picture it.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/06/25 08:09 PM
7

Yeah, certain masculine sterotypes are not my thing at all. Body builders. Duck Dynasty beards. Also, the cowboy. Also, I don't mind if his thing is watching the game on Sunday, but I won't watch it. I just can't get into sports at all. A reader would be awesome, though. Eta: Another type
/r/PurplePillDebate13/06/25 08:03 PM
6

Because to some people with this mindset, all the bread winner has to do is win that bread. They forget there is a lot more to a week than their 40 hours at work.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/06/25 02:21 PM
3

If you don't believe the stay at home parent has any right to assets in a divorce, do you believe they do while in the marriage?
/r/PurplePillDebate13/06/25 02:16 PM
4

Men in this reddit speak about how much effort is involved in dating, and how it isn't easy to get sex on the first date. You really think a wife wouldn't notice all his absences to date? He would probably have to be absent a lot more than twice a month to get to the point having sex twice a month.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/06/25 02:07 PM
4

I always wonder what people with this mindset would say to their daughter in the case of a divorce. That she deserves nothing? To expect her husband just to step out on her several times a month?
/r/PurplePillDebate13/06/25 02:03 PM
3

I agree. Interestingly, I think I read a post recently on psychology of sex reddit. Somewhere in the post and replies, someone made a point that maybe cheaters were never the monogamous type. I think maybe instead of looking for ways to justify when it is okay to cheat, such people just need to consider if they were ever inclined to monogamy in the first place. Then again, some cheaters just want to cheat. Poly wouldn't give them same ... thrill or something.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/06/25 01:59 PM
2

Nope. It is not okay then either.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/06/25 01:55 PM
–

And how are those women going to get food? Will they pluck hamburgers from hamburger trees? Drink Pepsi from pepsi rivers? Not only are muscles important for defending yourself, they’re also important for protecting your food and territory, and also manual labour such as farming and fishing. I read somewhere it was plants that made up more of the diet than meat in the prehistoric times. So knowing where the tubers grew would be quite important. Also, prehistoric women hunted, which includes trap…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/06/25 01:25 PM
–

It makes sense women have better endurance of this sort, since they have to be able to endure nine months of pregnancy. That takes quite a toll on their body. And isn't there some research that woman are on par with or can outperform men at certain stages of ultramarathoning? Sadly, though, my body is not suited for a life without modern medicine. Too many bad teeth and quite a few UTIs when I was younger. I would have been wiped out. I don't even want to guess what pregnancy would do to me in a…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/06/25 01:15 PM
3

The framing of sex in media (which isn’t something that started recently when the internet got more accessible, but it’s something that has existed for decades) is in my opinion the main reason why people think sex=piv. I see this the romance I read, which is historical romance. Discounting the woman's first time, the woman always orgasms from PIV. And some of the older works, like those before 2000, didn't really do much beyond PIV. There are definitely more non-PIV activities in more recently …
/r/PurplePillDebate13/06/25 01:02 PM
1

There are scientific studies that show emotion is important to decision making. That if you impair the ability to feel emotions, you have difficulty making decisions. I read it in a book years ago. I want to say Charles Duhigg. But either way, Google turns up Antonio Damasio as a researcher.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/06/25 11:49 AM
1

If women detach and move on, then what is this baggage some men fear women with experience possess? I would say remembering an ex fondly depends on how the one leaving the relationship feels they were treated. This goes for either gender. If the ex was toxic, that is what they remember the most, for instance.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/06/25 11:37 AM
–

Yes, this.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/06/25 03:42 AM
6

Do you not know the difference between estrus and menstrual cycles? Do you really think they are similar or that a woman's ovulation is anything like an animal in heat? Talk to breeders and farmers. I am pretty sure they can correct your misapprehensions. This doesn't even include things like male animals and rut. So hunters too can correct your mistaken beliefs. Or a text book. Or Google.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/06/25 11:19 PM
–

Re: variety and cheating. I read on another reddit once that the men who want one-sided polyamory/polygamy want to give poly relationship love/energy/attention but want the women to provide the monogamy version in return. I always likened it to "give me your 100%, and I'll give you 10% in return." Again, not talking about all men, just those seeking one-sided poly.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/06/25 10:59 PM
4

Not to mention, our reproductive biology is fairly different than a cat, deer, or dog. I think less than 1% of mammal species have menstrual cycles, for example.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/06/25 10:14 PM
4

I am confused. In your paragraph about men falling in love faster, so warm approach is better, are you saying the man is often in love with the woman he cold approaches? To me, cold approach means both are strangers. Maybe I misunderstood your point there? ETA: rereading it, maybe you meant on the road to love, that men feel some sort of attraction faster to the stranger?
/r/PurplePillDebate12/06/25 03:20 PM
2

You can slap any verb you want on the request, since it seems to affect you emotionally to call it "accuse." It is still saying, "I want this test because I want to know whose sperm fertilized your egg." To try to pretend the basis is "it happens to some men," therefore, it is not about infidelity but stats is like thinking that some people get struck by lightning according to the stats, therefore I think on that basis alone my wife was struck by lightning.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/06/25 01:03 PM
5

Reread what you wrote. There are several missing chains in logic with your whole premise. Those arguing the request doesn't mean infidelity suspicions are the ones thinking not with the logic, but emotion. The fact they don't want to outright say yes, I give this test to you, because I think you, not statistical woman, committed paternity fraud is based on emotion. And yeah, I wouldn't call my feelings about an accusation under these circumstances anything close to short lived.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/06/25 12:39 PM
10

It is an accusation. This is a part of why women get upset in these thread. It is one of the major reasons I get upset. "No, honey, I don't think you cheated, but take this test that proves the child you carried is my child, not another man's" means the husband thinks it is another man's. The other reason I get upset is because the man doesn't think it is fair that there are any lasting, negative consequences. Like only he is allowed to have trust issues after that accusation. It definitely woul…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/06/25 12:03 PM
1

I do agree about asking early on, but something your post sparked a question for me. Are these men going to sit their (paternity tested) daughter down and explain that no matter what she does, her fidelity in regards to having a child will always be in question...just because she is female? How does this conversation go? "Sweetie, I want you to know no matter what you do or say, you are female, so there will never be any satisfactory proof you didn't cheat and lie about who the future father of …
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/25 06:51 PM
2

I agree. Ask before relationship is deep or trying for a child so she has the opportunity to choose if this is a deal breaker for her or not.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/25 06:42 PM
1

It is offensive to say, "Honey, I want you to take this test to prove you didn't cheat and carry another man's child. This request shouldn't offend because you have nothing to hide, right?" My suggestion is to just own it. You know it is offensive and you simply think her right to be offended shouldn't factor into her decision here or her impression of you, because you don't want any negative blowback. You don't want any diminuation of what you received from her before that moment. You have a ri…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/25 06:37 PM
17

I think it is a little messed up to think fans like the genre because they envision getting rid of their "sexual rivals."
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/25 11:46 AM
1

I believe the ideology is as I stated. It is about believing women are driven by this simple version of "nature" and how to control them so that men benefit.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/25 11:29 AM
1

I think at its core red pill is the belief that women are simple creatures because of their "nature," and if you know these secrets, you too can get yours. But it sounds a lot like treating women like simple programs you create in a one-semester computer programming class, without realizing a woman (or any human) is more complex than the latest and greatest AI program can ever dream of becoming. Or the red piller does recognize complexity, in himself, but not her. If he can reduce her down to si…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/25 04:53 AM
7

It is a way of shifting blame. "It is not me accusing you of cheating and carrying another man's baby. It's my trauma saying it. You can't get upset with me because it is my trauma requesting it, not me."
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/25 04:31 AM
0

Agreed. This OP gives off a vibe of "women are a thing to get." I do not get along well with men who seek a sort of cheat code to "get" women. It sorta reminds me of the telemarketers who do all sorts of gimmicks to get the person to pick up the phone, from phishing a phone number to the normal sounding "Hello? Hello?"
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/25 10:52 PM
2

Reread the quote.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/05/25 05:44 PM
3

Statistically no: "It’s estimated that 1.6% of the adult U.S. population has BPD, but that number may be as high as 5.9%. Nearly 75% of people diagnosed with BPD are women. Recent research suggests that men may be equally affected by BPD but are commonly misdiagnosed with PTSD or depression." From https://www.adamhscc.org/resources/facts-about-mental-illness/borderline-personality-disorder
/r/PurplePillDebate24/05/25 05:11 PM
6

I feel men who try to "save" an escort by marrying her (as opposed to just loving her and marrying for that reason) have issues of their own driving them.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/05/25 04:38 PM
2

If we are going back far enough, there was a lovely post on another reddit by a scientist studying Neolithic people. She had evidence that women also hunted, not just gathered food. And all through history, most women contributed to the survival of the family. Most women could not just be ornaments to show off wealth. I don't think resource taking or resource giving as a gendered concept is hardwired into us. Resource hoarding and sharing as a species probably is.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/05/25 01:22 PM
1

If that were true, then why are divorces not rare? If his "consciousness" doesn't matter, why not just put up with personality incompatibilies and never divorce? Unless you mean "conscience," then, again, if resources trump all, why not put up with abuse? Women do care about resources in that if they make a joint life and household with the guy, they don't want to have to take on roommates to make ends meet. They also want to afford children if children are part of their long-term plans
/r/PurplePillDebate24/05/25 01:04 PM
1

This isn't the first time men in this reddit mentioned visualizing sex with strangers, so I am curious. Do most men do this when they see an attractive stranger or even actress? Also, in this scenario, are you picturing her enjoying it or wanting it, or is it just something you do to her or her body parts, which are imagined in isolation? If the latter, is it because of how ubiquitous porn is, or certain porn habits? After all, don't many men admit to flicking rapidly between different videos. I…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/05/25 03:33 AM
1

This is well put, especially on whose problem it is.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/05/25 06:18 PM
1

"I would say to anyone with a new partner that's insecure like this, keep patient and keep filling their cup for one month." "Ultimately: is this new person worth a bit of investment from you?" I am willing to help someone help themselves, but it can't be to the point I am being drained by it. The insecure person first has to recognize a different viewpoint exists, that that new viewpoint is healthier for them (and likely their partner), and then be willing to work on it. The work involved mostl…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/05/25 06:04 PM
3

That was interesting about Elon's ex. "Turns out true self worth has to come from within. No external success will ever compensate for a lack of internal validation." I agree 100%.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/05/25 05:42 PM
2

Was your response only regarding the part about the OP regarding enslaving women sexually? If not, you should know history is more diverse than prostitution and chastity. British and American history, for instance, includes a not insignificant number who engaged in sex before marriage, for instance, as well as women who engaged in casual/occasional prostitution to supplement income. It is not just prostitutes and the chaste.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/05/25 05:13 PM
2

Re: hedonistic adaptation. Does that include wealthy people sometimes not considering themselves wealthy, or wealthy enough, because they compare themselves to more wealthy people? Your comment made me think of that, but I can't remember where I heard it. Good points about appreciation and happiness, BTW.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/05/25 04:05 PM
1

So are you saying if your "stats" are high enough, you can just be "DGAF"? To me, GAF is a positive, "high value" trait. Also re: "effortlessly enjoying life" and the rest seems analogous to "overnight success" myth. There is a lot of effort for most nontrivial things in life; outsiders just don't always see it. But I think you hit on something about these Chads/HVM: it seems that those who envy them seem to believe things are just being handed to them. Even if that were true, I wouldn't want my…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/05/25 03:54 PM
–

I agree women also shouldn't define "feminine" as being "emotional." To your latter point, I believe a lot of changes happen at the family level. If we raise children with the expectation that logic and emotion are gender neutral and part of everyone, more of those children will go on to raise children who believe that and teach their children that. It becomes the default eventually.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/05/25 03:39 PM
–

Part of the reason has to be the beliefs certain parts of society hold about emotions. You can see it in this reddit, men using the term "emotional" to describe women as a category. Emotion, therefore, becomes something he does not do as a man, or so he will believe. Another example. Other men in this post also state their fear of being vulnerable or opening up and being seen as less masculine. It would be better to move toward a more universal acceptance that logic and emotion are gender neutra…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/05/25 03:08 PM
1

"There is this weird, polyamorous community thing where they try to have some sort of inhuman level of control over "insecurity" as if it's this bad thing that you just have to push through." How do insecurities relate to "polyamorous community"? In general, insecurities do hold you back and affect mental health, as well as affect relationships. It is a case of what are they doing to you and what are they costing you and your loved ones. What are they standing in the way of. ("You" being used ge…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/25 03:30 PM
1

Good points. It is easy to just focus on the one being manipulated, but the manipulator has to have some unhealthy beliefs about themselves too to get past the cognitive dissonance of their actions. Cognitive dissonance may not be the right word, but close enough.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/25 03:09 PM
1

"most women don't like to just fuck anyone and require more investment before giving up sex, so if a guy wants sex he has to at least tease the possibility of maybe possibly having some chance... " I think this is part of the misogyny. If you love, like, or feel neutral about someone, you can't generally justify being dishonest in a way that hurts them to get what you want. People do use dislike and hate all the time to justify such actions, however. So it is either negative feelings involved ge…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/25 03:02 PM
1

From the quotes below, it sounds like multiple fears. "I wouldn't want to go into a room knowing 3 guys there fucked her, and one of them got her to do things with him she'd never do with me." <<--Fear of missing out. That she will give someone else more than she gives you. " She's been there, done that, with all sorts of men....Maybe she doesn't even enjoy it that much, but likes you for other reasons, so you're "good enough". You'll never really know because her sexuality has been commodified.…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/25 02:41 PM
2

Have a link? That bit about vaginas seems to pop up in relation to menopause when I Googled it. On the ED, I found this link: https://www.webmd.com/erectile-dysfunction/features/erections-use-it-or-lose-it It is a bout men 50+ in age, didn't study masturbation but suspects it can help, and says..."Having sex is good, masturbating is good, but the concept that men have to go out and have sex to preserve erectile function is bogus,” says Irwin Goldstein, MD, director of sexual medicine at Alvarado…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/25 12:58 AM
2

Eta = edited to add
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/25 12:31 AM
1

I think lack of sex does not damage or deteriorate the prostate, which seemed to be your original point. Eta: Google still says it doesn't have to be sex with someone. Masturbation does the trick, too.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/25 12:27 AM
2

I think leader/followers is more apt name for this dynamic than First Mate over nada. Not to mention on a ship, those officers generally intend to learn skills to become their own captains. Also, I agree on decision dreadlocks. In a healthy relationship, they are nothing to fear. There is no point in basing a relationship around avoiding decision deadlocks. They can be something to fear when one person always gets the final say.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/25 10:46 PM
1

Wanted: Copilots. Copilots. Crisis depends on people involved and situation. In many situations, I am the one calmly focusing on a resolution. In other cases, I am the one overwhelmed and need help to get my focus back. In many situations, the one who grew up having to manage others' emotions is the one who does better in crises. The one who depends on others managing their emotions for them are not likely to suddenly be calm and collected in a crisis. Zombie apocalypse. Copilots. I have skillse…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/25 10:34 PM
1

Does her saying yes or no give her an advantage? I imagine if you view relationships from strength/weakness and win/lose, then yes. I just have difficulty seeing it this way. The man choosing who to approach doesn't negate her ability to choose how to respond. Her ability to choose how to respond doesn't negate his ability to choose to approach. *eta
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/25 10:19 PM
-1

But the prostate doesn't just die off from a lack of sex? I did a cursory Google search on the rest. The gist is: Masturbation can cure blue balls and help with reducing cancer rates. Ejaculation, not sex with a partner, matters in the case of prostate cancer. Older sperm is broken down and reassorbed if not expended. It is not a shook up can of soda, waiting to explode. Blue balls is prolonged arousal without release, and it is about blood flow, not sperm. Milk ducts are present whether or not …
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/25 09:33 PM
1

I understand the point you are trying to make, same as another made with literal begging. The point is the initiator also chooses. It might sound woo woo, but it is about not seeing oneself as a beggar or starting from a position of weakness. Rather to see it as starting from a position of "I choose who to approach."
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/25 09:14 PM
1

I was pointing out that the guy in this scenario gets to do the initial choosing. He is in control of whom he approaches. I don't feel that is a position of weakness.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/25 04:01 PM
1

"Wanting to get into her pants" doesn't translate automatically to the idea he cares about equal/mutual pleasure. When I hear that, I just think about someone wanting theirs.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/25 03:21 PM
0

Is it a position of weakness? If men are mostly doing the initiating, then they get to choose who they want to have a relationship with. She can say no, but that doesn't negate the fact he was the original chooser.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/25 02:45 PM
1

Look at other wedding traditions such as giving the bride away and groomsmen. A lot of traditions don't exactly have romantic or wonderful origins. Not to mention, in Christian marriages, for the longest time, the woman had to vow to "obey." I imagine a lot of the ideas behind men making the first move came from times when it was unseemly for a woman to do so. She was supposed to be the one waiting to be noticed and picked.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/25 02:36 PM
9

I don't think that is how the prostate works.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/25 02:08 PM
1

Some of what you wrote is hard to understand on a purely literary level, but am I right in summarizing it up that if abusive men can get and keep partners, why should you do anything other than just what you want? Or in other words, why be "better/stand up" if "shitty" men exist?
/r/PurplePillDebate12/05/25 07:16 PM
1

Why would any healthy-minded woman want to date a man for LTR or marriage if he holds views like she can't think ahead, that only he is the adult, that she is likely to cheat, etc. ? I don't want to date someone who has a low opinion of me, and most women do not want to either.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/05/25 05:59 PM
2

"Men on here claim the attractive dudes are the abusive ones." On this reddit, you also see some vocal segments of men say you can just tell when someone is abuser, that they don't manipulate to get a relationship, that they are obvious. I suspect those same men believe what I quoted is true. Kind of like a reverse halo effect.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/05/25 05:48 PM
4

Apparently, the concept they will land back on is to choose better, because obviously instead of coming in with flowers on the date, he came in holding the throat of someone else.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/05/25 04:57 PM
1

Read a book about abusers to see how wrong you are.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/05/25 04:55 PM
3

Re: gatekeepers of sex line. Women not having sex with men is...power over men? Perhaps that is part of the reasons why some women don't like porn, the idea that using porn is somehow getting back at women? Eta: Also "enslavement by women." Unless that is meant to point out how weird that phrase is, I don't think you understand the word "enslavement" very well.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/05/25 04:27 PM
1

And what exactly are avoiding saying or doing? What part of being yourself is being suppressed?
/r/PurplePillDebate11/05/25 04:08 PM
1

No, I am pointing out a problematic thought.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/05/25 03:52 PM
1

No, I pointed out some problematic thinking.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/05/25 03:48 PM
1

Tell me this, if a guy actually told any of these beliefs to a woman he is dating, from biological desire for violence when there is no sex to the fact that women are just more shallow, what do you expect the likely response to be? Is it possible these beliefs are so off-putting that she doesn't want to date such a guy? Is it possible these beliefs are the things doing psychological harm to the guy?
/r/PurplePillDebate11/05/25 03:42 PM
1

I don't think the average man worries about "breathing wrong" and being accused of sexual assault. I also don't think the average man believes that if he doesn't have sex he will become very violent or that it is a "deep psychological threat."
/r/PurplePillDebate11/05/25 03:36 PM
1

I don't think the average guy makes a comparison between going without sex and someone being raped. I can't emphasize with that mindset.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/05/25 03:30 PM
3

I think it is a reference to some posts in this reddit where the claim is that men love unconditionally and women don't/are incapable.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/05/25 03:09 PM
1

Then why use the word "love" at all if you think it is just hormones?
/r/PurplePillDebate10/05/25 05:16 PM
1

"For the most part, excitement and novelty at the expense of character and the willingness to provide/commit." I would assume those things aren't necessarily opposites. If a person is novelty seeking in general, then getting with a like person seems like a perfect match.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/05/25 04:36 PM
1

I don't want to hang around people I don't like, so why would I want to date people I don't like? So yeah "lowering" my standards wouldn't help.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/05/25 04:30 PM
7

Holy shit, that is...I don't have a way to express how problematic I feel your point is. Can you not recognize that another person doesn't feel the same way as you about sex trumping all? Are you not able to see a differing view for someone who is not you as equally valid for them?
/r/PurplePillDebate10/05/25 04:11 PM
3

I don't get what you are saying. It sounds like you are saying, in a loving relationship, she should have stopped her point she was making, to get aroused? That that is choosing love over conflict?
/r/PurplePillDebate10/05/25 04:06 PM
1

Your point about "very little effort" if there is love and caring seems more like the belief one would form from being exposed to too much of the opposite--unloving, uncaring--than reality. Like most things in life, relationships require maintenance. A healthy relationship requires work, and because of it, even during the lows, there is an underlying tone of love and support.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/05/25 03:13 PM
0

If you have to compete with other men for a woman, does that mean the woman in question is a female version of Chad?
/r/PurplePillDebate10/05/25 03:02 PM
2

" And while I’d say men are more solution-oriented overall, everyone wants to just be listened to sometimes, nobody wants to be constantly corrected, everyone wants to feel both cherished and respected by their partner, etc. " Isn't this core to another OG writer's philosophy on relationships, Dale Carnegie? I mean, he wasn't giving advice for romance, but still, it seems to be a human need to be listened to more, appreciated more, and criticized less.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/05/25 06:19 PM
4

I don't think you can love someone just for their body any more than you can love someone just for their money. I don't think it is "love" that either person in the example feels.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/05/25 06:09 PM
6

It is if it is a tool in the hands of whom the term is frequently linked: a narcissist or abuser.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/05/25 06:03 PM
11

"Please remember this aspect of life: The kindest and most loving person in the room is usually the most replaceable." I don't agree with this general statement, but I am interested in why you believe it. Care to explain further?
/r/PurplePillDebate09/05/25 06:01 PM
1

You seem to be making a point off unmentioned specifics (like a non-working woman) and then adding specifics afterwards as if we were talking about those all along. Are you talking about your own situation here or something?
/r/PurplePillDebate09/05/25 04:23 AM
1

What my comment was getting at was being fair for both sides, not just him.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/05/25 01:49 AM
5

It is in regards to taking his reply at face value.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/05/25 12:18 AM
1

There are not many details to extrapolate from, but maybe he is one of those types who treat their calendar like a Battleship board. It doesn't occur to them to look at it for open spots, but just say when there is a miss in hitting one of those gaps. I had a friend like this once. Never did figure what was going on in her head.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/05/25 12:16 AM
4

Or, it could be she doesn't want to be with someone who is busy enough that the next meet-up/date can't be set.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/05/25 11:45 PM
2

That happened during the get-to-know-you stage or the joint-household stage? If a man when dating has work demands that mean few dates or meet-ups in a month, he would do best to seek a like woman, so both are satisfied.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/05/25 11:33 PM
8

Yup. I just look around at wherever couples are and see the same: most people get with people who look on the same level as them, or who do not look much nicer or much worse than themselves.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/05/25 09:33 PM
8

I agree. I kept wondering if Chads are 1-20% of the population, where do most women, especially "average" women, run into them all the time? And how would they know they are a Chad or just the handsomest person they met that day/in that area? Are women supposed to be using a movie star as the benchmark against which all men compete in the looks department? If so, is it really supposed most women are holding out for movie star looks and judging on a strict pass or fail basis?
/r/PurplePillDebate07/05/25 09:31 PM
3

I rather live with today's technology than yesteryear's Stone Age.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/05/25 09:11 PM
1

Is it being dropped over a simple thing, or was it that the person was on the fence about the dating partner, and this last thing helped them decide to let go and move on? The human mind tends to remember first things and last things most strongly, and everything in between becomes more of a vague soup of stuff spiced by particularly memorable incidents. Anecdotelly, in the reddit about women waiting a long time to move from girlfriend to fiance, you also hear about men breaking up getting engag…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/05/25 07:51 PM
5

I imagine men with this perspective do not intend to do a great deal of the grunt work of parenting.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/05/25 02:30 PM
2

Lovebombing is a real thing. Do a Google search and look for credible sites, and you will see it. I find it highly problematic how you try to dismiss it and how you are defining it in this post.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/05/25 02:18 PM
7

Have you ever been around teens at your workplace? I have. Quite a few don't have the full set of soft skills a job expects in terms of typical responsibility, so they learn it on the job. Businesses that hire teens don't decide not to hire them because of this. They go easier on them because of this. They are capable of doing the job as well as any adult if people give them a little time to catch up and some direction. It is natural to want to help a teen navigate to adulthood in that way becau…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/05/25 01:56 PM
1

I just don't see why you are adding in this other factor? It seems like you want to discuss the impact of divorce on the term "hypergamy." Perhaps are you discussing the redpill term of "monkey branching"?
/r/PurplePillDebate06/05/25 03:14 PM
1

I do not see the point you are trying to make if you take into account the original point Poppy was making about "innateness."
/r/PurplePillDebate06/05/25 02:58 PM
1

Well, I don't think it indicates genetics as a factor. I guess your reply indicates you do?
/r/PurplePillDebate06/05/25 02:45 PM
1

Because Poppy also pointed out it changed from the 70s? Graph looks like it was 5% then. If it changes that much, it can indicate it was more culturally influenced before instead of genetic?
/r/PurplePillDebate06/05/25 01:41 PM
2

Isn't the verse about the "love" of money, not just money? "For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evil. Some people, eager for money, have wandered from the faith and pierced themselves with many griefs” (1 Timothy 6:10). Money is a tool, and it even features in parables.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/05/25 10:42 PM
-1

I imagine it is more like those who do join a club or group to enjoy that activity want to be free to enjoy it. As long as the ones who come to only hit on people don't interfere with that much, it will be mostly a blip on the radar for the ones hit on.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/05/25 08:17 PM
1

For more recent historical data, I suggest looking at the latest Census records for US data. And no, I do not think there is data supporting such a low percentage of biological fathers in recent history or history going back to when we began to maintain better records. I do believe a lot of people referencing the Y bottleneck are unaware it refers to an event that took place thousands of years ago.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/04/25 07:43 PM
2

Wasn't this Y bottle neck stat also about a time period thousands of years ago, not like even 1 CE?
/r/PurplePillDebate30/04/25 03:11 PM
4

This is spot on.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/04/25 08:12 PM
1

Your first couple of sentences say it all: it is a status thing to content producers. Because that is the content they are selling: faux status.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/04/25 11:55 PM
2

No, because they are different drives. Men's drives are like trees: goal is meant to scatter as much seed as possible to increase chance of passing on genes. Hence, it doesn't really matter whom gets pregnant to a man's basic reproductive drive. The more the merrier. For women, our basic reproductive drive can put our survival at risk. Not so men's. Inseminating a woman does not risk his survival on a basic level. Women's reproductive drive is about limiting how often they can get pregnant: not …
/r/PurplePillDebate25/04/25 10:27 PM
0

My point isn't men and women are equally horny, but that you are comparing two separate drives with different rewards/costs to them.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/04/25 08:25 PM
2

I think you can't quite compare the two versions, though. Because women can't get completely forget they can become pregnant. There is a risk element not present with men. Thinking in terms of only biological drive, pregnancy always comes with costs to a woman. To the biological drive of a man, not the sociological one, pregnancy is a favorable outcome. So you are comparing a no-cost drive in a man to a drive that comes with costs in a woman.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/04/25 01:25 PM
1

Your point about valuing them as an individual seems off, though. If men are more promiscuous as you indicate, which can mean indiscriminate with whom they have sex with as the common trope goes, that isn't valuing an individual. It is just valuing sex with someone whom almost anyone take her place. Or rather, just valuing sex. A man who wants sex with a woman quickly after meeting doesn't mean he values her as an individual. It just means he valued sex quickly, not necessarily the woman as an i…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/04/25 11:55 AM
3

I imagine it is hard to be rejected. I have difficulties asking colleagues for help on work-related things because of my self-esteem issues. These are people I know. I imagine cold approaching a stranger is harder, but it can help to keep context in mind: You have next to zero idea of who she is, and likewise her to you, so it isn't like she is rejecting you, John Smith, as you think of John Smith. She is rejecting a stranger, a fraction of a fraction of a fraction of who you are. Likewise, you …
/r/PurplePillDebate25/04/25 02:11 AM
2

I doubt there is because women have variations in vaginal length, too.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/25 01:42 PM
3

Historically when? 2000? 1950? 1800? 5000 years ago? I don't believe the data supports anything like 20% after the Neolithic.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/25 11:14 AM
2

I was trying to get stats, too, and Chat gave me a similar one. But is it in the form of serial marriages or entirely out of wedlock? The link it gave me was dead. There was also a fairly high number of US women who have 2+ kids having more than 1 baby daddy: 28%. But then again, Chat didn't pull that data from single moms population only. That was a Science Daily abstact. I would think adding that factor would again shift it further away from 6 fathers in a pool of ten women. Either way, it imp…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/25 03:15 AM
0

I still think it would be noticeable if say out of ten single mothers, there were only 2 or 3 or 5 fathers. I would say it would be statistically closer to like nine fathers, if I made a random guess. So my point is, unless you really have a scenario of 1 man fathering ten children as the norm for single mothers, then it sounds like it is not as easy as red pill men think to avoid bad men, not if the numbers of bad men to single mothers is anywhere close.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/25 02:38 AM
4

But wouldn't you agree, most of these children are not from a narrow gene pool--from a few men? That means, it has to be an almost equal number of bad men to single mothers, in this scenario.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/25 02:22 AM
5

Well, to continue with this argument, if there are a lot of single mothers because they picked bad men, doesn't that simplify down to there being a lot of bad men? And since all the children are not from a very small gene pool, doesn't that mean they aren't all coming from Chads and the upper 1/5/10/20%?
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/25 02:03 AM
1

I am glad you are thinking about more than just "it should be legal." But I say to anyone that wants it, they either need to dive into these issues I brought up or support those who will. In other words, think less fun time, more nose to the grindstone, if you ever want this to be reality.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/25 01:54 AM
2

There will never be a perfectly regulated market. It exists only in theory. There will always be some level of exploitation.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/25 01:50 AM
1

Well, even in a barter economy, if prostitution is one of the oldest professions, wouldn't the origin of the resources she received also be considered a profession? Sounds like farming or hunting in such a scenario is the oldest profession.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/25 01:45 AM
1

As I mentioned in other posts on reddit, there would have to be protections in place for the prostitutes. Basically, cannot be a job that prevents the prostitute from ever getting a different job. EEO level of protection. Also, it has to be recognized that it is not like any other job. Down on your luck and employment service is trying to find you a job? You can't be pressured into taking it or being blackballed or told they can't find you anything else. That doesn't even get into pregnancy. Doe…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/25 01:33 AM
1

It is funny that I am the one considered to have an oversized ego for not wanting to change who my friends are.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/04/25 07:05 PM
1

What is more important to you? Friends who feel like your definition of a friend or changing other people even though they are not meeting your needs as a friend? Maybe it is my age, but I rather spend my time with what I consider good friends than spend my time trying to make others into good friends.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/04/25 06:59 PM
1

I meant the more you commented in these threads, the more I suspect your motivation to not tip has more to do with your sense of being mistreated by "the unwelcoming community" you refer to than elevating people in poorer countries out of poverty.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/04/25 06:42 PM
2

You were expecting red carpet treatment from what exactly? Most people plain don't notice the vast majority of the populace around them. Human attention span just isn't made to function that way.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/04/25 06:34 PM
0

Then don't engage with friends where you feel you give more than you get? If you prefer more overtly equal gestures of friendship--i.e., physical labor in exchange for physical labor--only keep as friends people who think the same.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/04/25 06:30 PM
1

You may be making that comparison. I am stating the fact that someone struggling to get by in a wealthier country can't heat his house or buy her meal from a donation made to another country.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/04/25 06:27 PM
1

Then who are you dating? If it is someone from your community with your same tipping norms, then why are they complaining about you not tipping? If it is someone from outside your community, then yeah it is a red flag because of all this that you reveal as underlying motive. It isn't about economy here or there, but about not feeling welcomed especially while you are looking down on those you want to welcome you. It feels like sour grapes.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/04/25 06:16 PM
1

You can be rich on a global scale but still be struggling for your next meal or to keep the electric on. Being told you make more than a person in the poorest country in the world is no comfort when you will freeze in the winter with no electricity, for example.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/04/25 06:10 PM
2

I think your point is exaggerated. Do you actually mean, a woman listening to a man vent or a man asking for advice? Like most friends do with each other? On the physical labor, do you mean with helping to move? And the female friend, who cannot carry a chair downstairs herself, doesn't do something or several somethings in return to show her gratitude?
/r/PurplePillDebate21/04/25 05:53 PM
-1

If she is not reciprocating as a friend to a friend, that isn't a good friend, period. Friends help each other out. It is a mutual relationship. If a person is a bad friend, they are not going to automatically become a good date. Also, rarely do people get what they want from others by expecting others to intuit it. If you only act like a friend, but only befriended her to ask her out, how is she to know that? Be friendly but romantic. Rarely do people get what they want from others if they just…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/04/25 03:10 PM
-1

One can be friendly without being a friend. I imagine these women who dislike it want to be wanted for more than their body and what it can do for the guy. I imagine they want to know he offers more than his body too. They want someone interested in the mind also and want to be interested in his mind too.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/04/25 02:57 PM
3

Masculinity is like courage. It is not never fearing anything. It is acting despite the fear. Masculinity is not being free of insecurities. It is being yourself as a man despite insecurities and not being defined by the insecurities. This goes for feminity, too: being yourself despite your insecurities. The rest is window dressing that changes with time and culture.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/04/25 02:46 PM
1

Answer what question exactly? That if I am cautious around strange men in an isolated setting, I should hate men in other settings? I should be willing to take one on the chin just because most firefighters are men? Nah. That makes no rational sense. How is being blindly trusting in that scenario taking accountability for anything? Why is that fair? Why do you believe I owe blind trust even up to the point it means doing so I could be harmed?
/r/PurplePillDebate21/04/25 01:57 PM
1

Being cautious around strange men when isolated with them is taking accountability for my own safety.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/04/25 11:01 AM
2

You know, like how you want a blue car, and suddenly all you see are blue cars? There aren't suddenly more blue cars; you are just noticing them more. If you view most marriages as transactional and loveless, you are going to not see that most are not that, especially when your definition of ideal is based on someone paying 100% attention to your needs/wants without regard or little regard to their own. This view, as I stated in my first reply, is that it is not even possible for the prostitute …
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/25 09:18 PM
2

I am not arguing about the morality of prostitution or johns seeking prostitutes. I don't condemn either. I do, however, condemn faulty comparisons. I am arguing against false comparisons made in the comment I originally responded to. It seemed to be comparing what a prostitute provides in a session as more than what a wife provides in a marriage. On the face of it, it is poor comparison because the prostitute is paid to focus wholly on the buyer. Also, it is about comparing what can be provided…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/25 07:42 PM
5

But sex that gets the buyer off is the whole point of paying for an escort. I doubt many escorts find the process beautiful or "intimate" in a positive way. My point is that anyone can provide what another person wants for half an hour. But there is just a physical human limit to how long they can do it. That is why you won't see "consistent" displays of love and wanting in a marriage, when your basis for comparison is 30 minutes of a professional being paid to focus on the john.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/25 07:04 PM
6

Stay with that escort 24/7, and I guarantee that escort isn't consistent in the illusion created either. And how is it making love or intimacy, when sex with an escort is only about the buyer's pleasure? Those who feel love and intimacy are the same with an escort as they are with a lover are confused about what love and intimacy are: something one-sided versus something mutual.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/25 05:43 PM
19

Do you really think boys were not required to sit still and listen before now? Before 2000? 1980? 1950? 1920? 1880? I imagine it is modern education that recognizes some children need fidget toys, and some do better with audio books over print, etc.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/25 05:29 PM
4

Dysfunctional families mean the child is always starting behind the curve. But there are ways, not so much as to catch up, but thrive and grow and move forward your own way. It means looking outside the box. I think that is what we survivors of dysfunctional families can do best.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/25 04:09 PM
1

It is easier to say one or two things not to do than to cover 100 ways to do. Look at our laws. They don't generally focus on the endless variations of what you can do, but the much narrower scope of what you can't do. And let's be real. People don't turn to porn to learn how to act in the dating world. They turn to porn to get off in solo situations.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/25 04:01 PM
2

Cheaters don't accidentally cheat. They want to cheat. In the same way a person doesn't accidentally abuse. They want to abuse. Mindset is different in a cheater or abuser than in a non cheater or non abuser. Those who don't want partners spending time with the opposite sex should seek those who already don't do that. Those people are compatible. A good partner won't request giving up healthy, normal relationships because those healthy relationships are one part of who that person is.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/25 03:46 PM
0

I am okay with being a misandrist in situations where I could be harmed. Blind trust wouldn't reduce the risk. Caution can. As for your second point, look into why some don't report being a victim of a sex crime.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/25 02:56 PM
–

Or that he is interested in mutually agreeable sex, unlike the john. If a guy has a tendency to have encounters where only his pleasure mattered, that is a turnoff.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/04/25 12:16 AM
–

Took the words out of my mouth.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/04/25 12:12 AM
–

The issue with legalizing it is that it would also require special protections in some ways on par with other classes protected from discrimination in the work place. That is, prostitution cannot be a death sentence to having any non sex work job in the future. Laws would also have to acknowledge this is not just like any other job. Collecting unemployment benefits and are required to seek so many jobs in a set time? You can't be pressured in the direction of sex work. Legalizing must forward lo…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/04/25 12:09 AM
7

If his first choice was someone in my social/friends' group, it would matter. Otherwise, no.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/04/25 11:50 PM
2

Really. That is the idiom you chose? Can you not see how that could especially be offensive in this case?
/r/PurplePillDebate18/04/25 11:28 PM
5

I feel like the man vs bear thing is like hypothetical question of do you throw the switch so the train runs over a child or a group of adults. I hate answering the question on principle. I don't want to meet a strange man or a bear in the woods. I suppose on the repeat offenders issue you brought up, we would have fewer of those if we had better punishment and rehabilitation. No sex offender should have a chance to repeat the crime.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/04/25 11:03 PM
2

Nah. I look around where I live, and I see pretty evenly matched people. I suspect the thing hardwired into most people is to pay more attention to those in their social circle and in the circle of their regular interactions, and to tune out most every one else like background noise. Same way the wallpaper or color of a familiar room is not new to us every time we see it. The brain puts that stuff in the background. It puts most people there, too, because our brains conserve energy and focus. I …
/r/PurplePillDebate14/04/25 04:39 PM
15

I live in a small town, and I am now of the middle age demographic. I did not see this "must be provider" while dating while younger. I do still see the men doing most of the initiating, but my friends group mostly did online dating. I do not see much protector requirements, but then again, wives work on the farms alongside their husbands here. They grew up using guns around here, and there isn't much in the way of crime to be worried about. I also don't see much in the ways of obvious feminism,…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/04/25 03:21 PM
5

I suspect men bonding with men changes throughout history. Men's clubs of the 1800s wouldn't have existed unless men wanted to hang out with other men shooting the shit. Probably in times men had to rely upon cooperating with other men for general living, they liked each other more.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/04/25 06:24 PM
1

I imagine most women on the receiving side of a cold approach would agree. It is quite clear the thing that led the man to approach is that he liked her body. In warm approaches, there is a higher chance he knows something more about her and is interested in that as well. Not every woman is interested in her body being the only reason she is approached.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/04/25 12:06 PM
1

Our core beliefs are opposed in this situation. You focus on the benefits, I suppose, but I focus on the detriments. I feel the detriments outweigh the benefits for most women when they are in the "new adult" age range, to borrow a literary term. I most certainly would have received no benefit by getting with someone who was my father's age contemporary. If a man or woman mostly pursues age gap relationships, something deeper is going on, which they need to examine. I doubt age gap proponents an…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/04/25 11:44 AM
–

Turning to the red pill has little to do with women. It has more to do with chronic issues of low self-worth. Red pill beliefs feel like a solution to these people, but they are only palliative. Until the self-worth issues are addressed, these people are, at best, only distracting themselves from the underlying pain and, at worst, harming themselves.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/04/25 01:14 AM
0

Abuse is not gendered: 100% agree. But just as most men don't abuse, most women don't either. Women who hit as abusers have the same cognitive biases as men who do, thinking they are justified and entitled. There needs to be more awareness out there on the topic you bring up, but also on abuse in general, too, to remove the stigma.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/04/25 12:57 AM
1

Some do, but no one, male or female, noticed my incident, even though it happened in a college classroom. It was just a conversation happening among many others to outsiders. I know in my own life I am keyed more into signs of abuse, for example, and I try to speak up about it. You can see the trend in my reddit posts. I also am involved in a small way in an organization that helps domestic violence victims. It took a lot to get me to the point I feel comfortable interceding and risking being wr…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/04/25 12:40 AM
3

Agreed. Plus, probably quite a few women can remember what it felt like as teen or early twenties woman being hit on by a man the age of their father. It made me feel small and vulnerable. I would have loved for someone else to notice and help me out because at that age, I still had a strong sense of deference to people much older than me. I didn't know how to really put the person off. And as a plain person, I would bet my last dollar that quality in me attracted the man more than my looks and …
/r/PurplePillDebate08/04/25 01:21 AM
1

It does indicate belief. Why else would he want to test if a child is his if he already believes it is his? That is irrational, not logical. Again, to clarify, I am not talking about a case where there are solid reasons to doubt the wife. I am talking about the prevalent belief in this reddit thread by some men that their wife should be tested just because a man "can never know." Because inherent in that belief is that a woman being a woman means she is likely to cheat and commit paternity fraud…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/04/25 02:40 PM
10

When I saw this topic brought up before in this reddit, some men like to say the woman is divorcing on a whim. Nah. Unless she married the guy on a whim, she's not divorcing on a whim. Her reasons for a divorce may not seem valid to the man, but you would be damn sure if situations were reversed, the man would see his reasons to divorce as valid. For these men who picture women deciding to divorce so easily, their arguments are based on a groundless fear that women will suddenly fall out of love…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/04/25 02:27 PM
1

I also don't get men's reactions in this hypothetical. Men are upset when women say they might divorce after being told he thinks she cheated and is lying about the baby's father. If the husband believes she did this, why isn't he serving her divorce papers along with the paternity test? Why would these men want to stay with women they are convinced are cheating and committing paternity fraud?
/r/PurplePillDebate04/04/25 01:57 PM
1

Nah, the request for the paternity test when there are no red flags to indicate cheating creates the drama and bad feelings. He didn't marry a robot after all. If he is so confident she cheated and lied, then the drama of the accusation is the least of his concerns. If his accusation is based on insecurity that has nothing to do with her, aka a baseless accusation, then all that drama and feeling originated with him, and he needs to own that shit. Either marry a woman willing to manage his insec…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/04/25 01:45 PM
2

The downside is that it is saying that he has a strong belief she cheated on him often enough to get pregnant. It is a fantasy every woman gets pregnant from one act of sex, after all. So not only does he believe she cheated frequently enough to get pregnant, but he also believes she would lie about it for the rest of her life. He is essentially saying he doesn't trust her to be honest or faithful about their relationship. If the only thing that will temporarily convince him is a paternity test …
/r/PurplePillDebate04/04/25 02:37 AM
6

A maternity test can also confirm the baby wasn't mixed up.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/04/25 02:26 AM
1

Removed because I misunderstood the comment.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/04/25 02:17 AM
2

People raised in healthy relationships as a child more easily recognize healthy and unhealthy relationships. Those raised in unhealthy relationships have a harder time. They were taught not to have healthy boundaries, maybe even punished for it in their formative years. Survival depended upon giving way or keeping the peace at all costs. These maladaptive behaviors helped them survive when they were utterly dependent. The problem is when they take those same adaptations into adulthood.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/03/25 01:33 AM
1

I imagine that is true of attractive people of any gender in any walk of life. The halo effect. Doesn't it impact people of the same gender in non romantic situations, too?
/r/PurplePillDebate12/02/25 02:29 PM
5

The story you summarized, did it talk about what her life growing up was like, before the abuser entered the picture? I think people who grew up with healthy childhood relationships are the least likely to fall prey to abusers. The most likely are those who grew up in unhealthy relationships. I attracted narcissists in my work life for instance. Because I grew up without healthy boundaries, and narcissists test and seek, bit by bit, a person's boundaries to see how much control they will have ov…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/02/25 02:23 PM
2

To add to this further, I know rudeness is not at the fore of my thoughts.. My people pleasing starts with simply the ingrained belief that this person wants something, and my brain starts instantly thinking how to give it to them. Non people pleasers think about "should I?" or "do I want to?" fairly early on. That is at the tail end of my thoughts, if at all. And I feel shame when I can't comply. However. I have seen flattery type behaviors a lot like this from those who took advantage of my la…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/02/25 12:00 AM
1

People pleasing can be part of the arsenal of a narcissist and other manipulators, but people pleasing is also a trauma response, one related to fawning. GoogleAI summarizes the latter as so: "Studies indicate that people-pleasing behavior can often be a trauma response, particularly identified as the "fawning" response, where individuals excessively prioritize others' needs and desires to avoid conflict and maintain a sense of safety, often stemming from experiences of childhood abuse or neglec…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/25 11:47 PM
1

Vampires can glitter, and they can suck, but the one thing they don't talk about is how much they would stink in real life. After all, they are dead. Generally.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/01/25 04:25 AM
2

Thank you for clarifying. I do think there is an interplay between an ideal fantasy and real life. The fantasy is updated as one lives and changes, and the fantasy can make one sit up and notice when elements happen in real life. But for the most part, fiction is like a day dream--escapism.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/01/25 02:54 AM
1

Can you clarify "peak romance"? I do think romance novels can magnify extremely some real-life fantasies. The transformative power of love--that is, your partner healing or becoming their best self because of your love and support. Another is you being the one to make your partner want to give up short-term dating, when that partner was not prone to LTR before. So you can easily see where some fictional fantasies derive from real life. Other fictional fantasies do not show such a direct line bet…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/01/25 02:20 AM
1

Very much true on a rake. Real rakes had no problem seducing innocents and virgins, for example. But in historical romance, there is an unspoken code of honor that a rake won't do that, and that if he does and she is of his class, he marries her. Real rakes probably also had litters of bastards and constant STDs, and they didn't give a care about creating the first or spreading the other. Plot armor protects the hero in a romance novel.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/01/25 11:15 PM
2

When I was a people pleaser, it sure seemed like the ultimate definition of nice was not saying no, feeling bad for saying no, finding ways to help others not feel bad or upset, smoothing the way ahead for someone else so they don't experience discomfort, taking on more of the burden so they don't have to. One problem was it didn't spring out of genuine desire to help. It came from insecurity and desire to avoid conflict. Ultimately, it doesn't come from love, but fear. Now that I have learned t…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/01/25 04:52 PM
9

I agree with toasterchild's take on novels and wanted to add the fact that novels, of any genre, require conflict. In romance, the conflict is about the protagonists getting together and also generally about them overcoming whatever internal conflict that kept it from being easy and them being "whole." Generally, the romance helps them come face to face with an important internal issue, and healing it is part of the plot. See the writing reference Romancing the Beat for a better explanation. My …
/r/PurplePillDebate29/01/25 12:36 PM
1

If you took my reply as suggesting domestic violence was gendered, I am sorry if that was the impression left. My second reply addressed that. The mindset behind abuse is not gendered, although some of the justifications used can be. Abuse is committed by women and men against either gender. My replies were intended to help dispel the myth that abuse derives from a lack of control. That the lack of control is the only difference between nonabusers and abusers. In reality, it is a mindset. Furthe…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/25 02:09 PM
0

A final article on the benefits of abuse according abusers.https://voicemalemagazine.org/abusive-men-describe-the-benefits-of-violence/ Although these articles focus on male abusers, the mindset driving the behavior is not gendered.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/25 04:15 AM
0

No, read Lundy Bancroft's piece on Myths of Abuse. There is a PDF that pops up in a Google research, which you can read for free. "6. He loses control of himself. When a man is on an abusive rampage, verbally or physically, his mind typically maintains awareness of his actions. An abuser almost never does anything that he himself considers morally unacceptable. He may hide what he does because he thinks other people would disagree with it, but he feels justified inside. He typically has a reason…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/25 04:02 AM
1

The hypothetical man wants a serious relationship, not a hookup or ONS. A serious relationship cannot happen over a single date. It can be the start of or be under consideration in that time frame. But dating one person seriously requires requires multiple dates, a series of dates, among other criteria. Eta. First comparison, a person wants to bake a cake from scratch. She does not want to use multiple ingredients. These concepts seem in opposition to each other. That is how I am seeing your pro…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/01/25 11:45 PM
2

Wanting "obvious real passion" doesn't seem to align well with the requirement of sex during first date or no second date. The first sounds spontaneous and naturally occurring; the other not so much. Basically, the guy should act passionate on the first date and see if she responds in kind. Set the tone. No go? Well, then, tell her it didn't work out, that they didn't click, and move onto next match. By the way, you can relabel a requirement as a preference all you want; it is acting as a requir…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/01/25 09:49 PM
1

How many people, of any gender, can juggle four romantic relationships simultaneously? Very, very few, I imagine.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/25 07:18 PM
1

The main point of a prostitute: to get the buyer off. Not to get herself off. Not to have mutually pleasurable sex. I think you are reading condemnation in my take that sex with prostitutes is about the buyer's pleasure.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/01/25 10:25 PM
1

You raise a fair point.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/01/25 08:21 PM
1

Other reasons also happen in addition to sex, but let's not kid ourselves: it is at its core about sexual pleasure centered on the purchaser.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/01/25 08:19 PM
1

They happen in part for the same reason men have historically visited prostitutes. It is about those men's sexual pleasure. It is not about mutual pleasure. Those men paid for sex to have one-sided, catered pleasure. Women weren't devaluing men then, causing them to seek out paid sex. I think it is the same story, but updated for the 21st Century vs. the 19th.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/01/25 05:56 PM
5

I just read in another subreddit someone's post about violence in video games and its effect on users. The gist was that it could have an exacerbating effect on those already tending toward violence, not the run of the mill user. I think that research will be pertinent to the robot users who use their robot for violent means and the like. I think it will exacerbate the need in them to do that in real life. I also expect quite a few to be customized not only after actresses and such, but after pe…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/01/25 05:18 PM
1

Everyone has insecurities and moments of low self esteem. Just like everyone can pinpoint a trait on the ADHD spectrum they have some times or in a small measure. The insecurity I am talking about is of the nature of ADHD diagnosis: it has to significantly detrimentally impact daily living.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/01/25 12:19 AM
1

No, because when you are in an exclusive relationship, you do not seek other relationships. An outfit is not the same as direct action of flirting for either gender. An outfit a person wore before does not change its nature because a person is in a relationship. To take it further, I doubt a woman wearing an unrevealing outfit will signal a woman is "off the market." That is the point you are making, right? Revealing = "being on the market?" A man who wants to get with a woman will approach a wo…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/01/25 12:13 AM
1

Ironically, your first sentence? Is probably not how the insecure people were treated in their formative years. They probably also received a heaping dose accountability (whether or not they were the person who deserved to be held accountable) without actual love to temper it.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/01/25 12:00 AM
2

To be honest, ever since I heard about the negging and dread game in TRP, I suspect the women the TRP targets are insecure types. The men who use these tactics are testing for weak boundaries and lower self esteem.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/01/25 11:47 PM
1

The type of relationships you had in childhood strongly influences the type of relationships you form as an adult. If they were healthy, you generally have healthy. If they weren't, you generally have to unlearn all the unhealthy behaviors modeled and beliefs reinforced before you can have healthy. Your childhood relationships form your norm, your default, your habits, your instincts. You generally seek what is familiar, and at the core of it is this default. Sadly for far too many, what they se…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/01/25 11:38 PM
1

Your fashion point is confusing. Don't both men and women develop a style, which generally stays consistent but is subject to the changes of aging and body changes and current trends and the like? Don't they generally want to continue wearing that clothing after they get in a relationship?
/r/PurplePillDebate15/01/25 11:24 PM
1

I think your last sentence is making light of dating by seeing it as a black and white stereotype: men just want sex, etc. Hasn't it been brought up before, even on this subreddit, that stereotype does no one any favors?
/r/PurplePillDebate15/01/25 10:02 PM
2

Depends. Could be that none of the men had the skills to "keep" her. Or did you intend for the woman to only be casually dating in your scenario? My main point was to flip the question. Why is "keeping" skills gendered? Wouldn't a man who had 12 partners in a year also be considered as lacking in "keeping" skills if we just outright gender flipped the person (and didn't specify casual-only seeking behaviors)?
/r/PurplePillDebate15/01/25 06:51 PM
4

On the other hand, where do the 12 partners of the 2nd woman demonstrate they can reliably keep a woman, to use your terms?
/r/PurplePillDebate15/01/25 05:31 PM
2

Isn't that true with most things, regarding cold vs warm approach? I am thinking in terms of selling, sending emails to businesses you know nothing about vs ones you took some time to learn about, especially their potential needs. I wonder if the odds of success in business with cold approach are similar to that in the dating world. One report says cold calling (business) success rate is 4.8%. Some put it as low as 2%. What say you all is the rate of success at cold approaches for dating?
/r/PurplePillDebate15/01/25 03:40 PM
1

Thank you for clarifying despite your initial reluctance. I see your side better now. The simplest answer may be you are looking for a particular personality trait as well as mutual attraction. That is...you are looking for someone who holds similar views on speed of passion and lust and romance. For it seems like part of your personality regardless of whom the potential partner is. Your best match is a woman who holds the same view on lust and romance speed. Eta: or to put it another way, the w…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/01/25 10:31 PM
1

Yeah, I guess I don't get it. If you are attracted to her and expect sex on the first date to be an indicator of reciprocal level of attraction....then what is the point of the first date? I guess I am more in agreement with the OP and that point wonder why the request isn't just, "Hey, want to hook up?" If there is a reason why you would hesitate to throw that out there instead of an offer of an in person date, then you likely see the date serving as another function, and logically so is she, a…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/01/25 08:44 PM
1

Why do you assume she isn't attracted? Because she doesn't act immediately on the attraction by first date sex?
/r/PurplePillDebate02/01/25 08:28 PM
1

But was she well past the ready stage by the time the date happened? Are you judging her response by your readiness or hers?
/r/PurplePillDebate02/01/25 07:26 PM
2

Why do you want to believe you are inherently evil? Do you believe others are inherently evil? A neighbor woman? A female friend? A colleague from school? Can you actually say every woman is inherently evil? If no, would you say most women are? If no, why do you think you are the exemption? Why do you want to believe you are inherently evil?
/r/PurplePillDebate27/12/24 06:40 PM
2

Re: your last paragraph. It is a pretty common mindset of those who were abused or neglected, as well. I would suggest to the OP to draw the lines between why she feels this way and what thoughts and experiences seem to be encouraging her to adopt this mindset. Question any belief that labels one as inherently bad. Psychologists can help a person see damaging patterns of thoughts like this one.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/12/24 06:33 PM
2

I don't get your point about submission. A woman who decides to be submissive is either doing it because of religion, culture, or because of a perceived benefit to herself. For the religious minded, there is still a benefit of obedience to their god, or in other words, of being godly. For tradition, I imagine it is being a good wife by that culture's standards. Why would any woman do it willingly for any other reason? For what? Eternal self punishment?
/r/PurplePillDebate27/12/24 02:34 PM
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I do not see women being egotistical cynical that put career and education before family or other relationships. Same with avoiding their offspring. But I do not doubt that you believe it. Did you draw that conclusion from personal examples or other sources?
/r/PurplePillDebate13/12/24 12:02 AM
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Please clarify "fundamentals."
/r/PurplePillDebate12/12/24 11:58 PM
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Then pick another introvert? That way you two can engage in a lot of parallel play and both be happy. I am an introvert too and get along best with other introverts.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/12/24 11:48 PM
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How much of nurturing is genetic, and how much of it is the normalization of giving young girls dolls and babies to play with? I imagine a great deal is the "nurture" aspect out of the nature vs. nurture debate. Women always were workhorses. They worked in the business alongside their husband, they created products on the farm to sell and helped with the main farm work, they worked in factories, etc. They were also involved in the domestic work, which in the past was significantly more time-cons…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/12/24 11:32 PM
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I think what women bring to the table is the same as what men bring to the table in modern times: a type of companionship the spouse cannot get from anyone else. It was there historically, too, but doing the things it took to survive and live above the survival threshold just took longer. Technology and the Industrial Revolution allowed us to focus less on creating things for survival and maintenance, so the focus is now more on the companionship factor. In this day and age, I don't understand w…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/12/24 11:15 PM
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I think this is a generalization that doesn't quite match reality for most. Also probably dependent upon where one lives. I live in a more rural place. Noises in the night are wild animals or pets knocking things down. That is nothing I would demand a man to check on.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/12/24 10:46 PM
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With how advanced cars are these days, do most people fix their own cars? On the other two items, the women I know do a lot of that themselves, and then, really heavy lifting requires both spouses either way.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/12/24 10:36 PM
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What kind of art?
/r/PurplePillDebate07/12/24 11:44 PM
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In order to get useful results to turn into percentages, wouldn't you have to eliminate as many variables as possible? Heck, I heard somewhere that studies even eliminate for things like lefthandedness when the test has nothing to do with hand dominance. Scientists eliminate massive amounts of variables, far more than they actually test for, I mean. My point is you aren't dating clones frozen to the same point of time just before they met you. Most of your data is not going to be helpful. This m…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/12/24 09:44 PM
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So a meat automaton reacted involuntarily to stimuli and created....an electronic automaton? That is some hefty programming and stimuli for the meat version.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/11/24 05:31 PM
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If I were 20 years younger, yeah, I would be in that field, too. My point I was trying to make is AI girlfriends will never exist in a vacuum. The scenario where they are a benefit to the men who want them is highly unlikely to exist because all of society will be impacted by that tech.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/11/24 05:22 PM
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If we got to that point of technological advancement in AI, why wouldn't most jobs replace as many humans as possible with worker AI? This future won't be as simple as replacing women with AI women. All of society will be affected, and we, now, may no more be able to understand this future than a medieval commoner could understand the internet.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/11/24 04:52 PM
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When an AI girlfriend does, says, and thinks everything the user wants, then is it really a girlfriend, or just an extension or avatar of the user? Basically, the user is dating an electronic female version of himself. It wouldn't truly be a girlfriend anymore.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/11/24 04:37 PM
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I find AI fascinating. If you wrote this out to your AI girlfriend, what would you have programmed her to respond with? Would you program her one day to play a little hard to get and on the next to fall in love at "first sight"? Or on another day to pretend she is a random you pick up off the street, and on the next day, you are celebrating your 20th anniversary? I think humans are unlikely to treat AI as equivalent to a human because AI is not bounded by, well, the reality of a human (my questi…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/11/24 04:19 PM
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