ProgressiveDudebro Archive

Upvotes	Title	Category	Author	Subreddit	Date (UTC)
87	These are all recent and typical images from some of the UK's leading mental health orgs. How many guys would think "this service is for me" if they were looking for help?	mental health	ProgressiveDudebro	/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates	18/03/23 06:12 PM

Upvotes	Comment on	Subreddit	Date (UTC)
30	These are all recent and typical images from some of the UK's leading mental health orgs. How many guys would think "this service is for me" if they were looking for help? I’ll never forget the first time I got counselling for depression at the encouragement of female friends. I’d waited a year to be seen. Finally the appointment comes. I tried to articulate why I was there (years of worsening depression) and really struggled. The counsellor got impatient and frustrated with me, and told me if I didn’t know what I was feeling or how she could help me, this was a waste of time. My friends were horrified because their experience was of counsellors talking them throu…	/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates	19/03/23 01:09 AM
11	These are all recent and typical images from some of the UK's leading mental health orgs. How many guys would think "this service is for me" if they were looking for help? Thank you! That’s exactly what I’m getting at. This is all great for many women and some men, and some of it is relevant for most people (I also share your love of fancy hotel products). I don’t hate any one of these images - I dislike that they’re all the same from so many different places. Like, when I was younger, it didn’t occur to me that lifting was self care. I never saw anyone talk about it that way. And some people might go “well so what?”. But because I didn’t understand it as self car…	/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates	19/03/23 12:56 AM
10	These are all recent and typical images from some of the UK's leading mental health orgs. How many guys would think "this service is for me" if they were looking for help? Thank you! Yeah, sorry, it was just the combo of sensitive topic, sudden intensity of his aggression and at first I genuinely thought he was a “member” from his username and initial post and that I’d massively misjudged the space. Took me a bit to realise he was a troll. Guess he kind of proves my point though…	/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates	19/03/23 12:35 AM
52	Gender dysphoria made me understand how important masculinity is to most men Thank you for this. I'm a very firm believer that cisgender folks can learn a lot from the transgender experience. When I was younger especially, I was very lucky to befriend a few trans guys. I was definitely an imperfect ally with learning to do (it was way harder to be exposed to these things as a young person 10-15 years ago) and probably still have more to do. The conversations I was eventually invited into by them were so valuable to me as a cis guy, too. Learning from them about their jou…	/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates	18/03/23 11:10 PM
1	These are all recent and typical images from some of the UK's leading mental health orgs. How many guys would think "this service is for me" if they were looking for help? Again, that's the "it was just a joke bro chill out" defence abusive people used to absolve themselves of responsibility. I wasn't part of the joke - it was at my expense. You're also now making a negative presumption about my entire life based on a Reddit comment which not only imagines issues in my life, but implies some fundamental failing of character is to blame for them. Is this one of the proven, effective approaches to promoting good mental health you've been talking about?	/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates	18/03/23 10:27 PM
1	These are all recent and typical images from some of the UK's leading mental health orgs. How many guys would think "this service is for me" if they were looking for help? So...now you're mocking me for having ever needed therapy?	/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates	18/03/23 10:19 PM
1	These are all recent and typical images from some of the UK's leading mental health orgs. How many guys would think "this service is for me" if they were looking for help? Nah. You're just horrified because you realise you've been called out for immense hypocrisy correctly, so now you're doing the "it was just a joke bro chill out" thing. Consider therapy. It can help with that - I know from experience! ;-)	/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates	18/03/23 10:16 PM
1	These are all recent and typical images from some of the UK's leading mental health orgs. How many guys would think "this service is for me" if they were looking for help? You are literally having an argument with an imaginary man whilst using derogatory language about mental health and the people who seek support with it.	/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates	18/03/23 10:14 PM
15	These are all recent and typical images from some of the UK's leading mental health orgs. How many guys would think "this service is for me" if they were looking for help? This is what I think is the major reason for men not showing up all together or straight up leaving treatment. Not really the aesthetic. That's kind of what I'm getting at, though. I don't fundamentally object to any of this - I object to its predominance and what that predominance suggests about how we approach men's mental health. I guess what I should have said is: if there's an obvious dearth of interest in marketing these services and things to a diverse male audience, what does that tell u…	/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates	18/03/23 10:13 PM
20	These are all recent and typical images from some of the UK's leading mental health orgs. How many guys would think "this service is for me" if they were looking for help? Okay, so now you're just being malicious to me. To be clear: My wife is a psychiatrist. I'd be pretty damn broke if I was anti-therapy. I have had, and benefited hugely from, mental health treatment. I am very concerned about men's mental health. I have also noticed that the marketing and promotion of mental health services tends to skew very heavily towards a female audience, often without any similar attention to what might appeal to men traditionally. Regardless of our views about masculine a…	/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates	18/03/23 10:07 PM
25	These are all recent and typical images from some of the UK's leading mental health orgs. How many guys would think "this service is for me" if they were looking for help? Sorry you find it cliche, but sometimes things are cliche because they are true. I'm...literally saying I would like to see more attention given to making therapy and self-help seem relevant, beneficial and accessible to men. I am genuinely at a loss as to how you're accusing me of being anti treating mental illness or promoting good wellbeing.	/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates	18/03/23 09:55 PM
9	Sexual politics is damaging young men Very well put. I always think the "who asks who out" thing is a fantastic example of this. Women as a 'class' are perfectly entitled to say they don't like the idea of being in a bar or club or coffee shop and random men hitting on them, and that society should adapt to this. Women are also entitled to on average like the feeling of being 'chased' by a man who puts in the work of winning their affection, whether that's for one night or a lifetime. There's a contradiction there - and the only way…	/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates	18/03/23 06:41 PM
16	Sexual politics is damaging young men Hi bi five! Yeah, I find it's just that men's sex talk is seen as crass, but dudes will also hide behind that to not get into too much actual detail. But I swear some women would give you a 57 slide PowerPoint on a one-night stand if they could.	/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates	18/03/23 06:22 PM
58	These are all recent and typical images from some of the UK's leading mental health orgs. How many guys would think "this service is for me" if they were looking for help? There's so much lip service given to men's mental health. It's the one area we're sort of allowed to advocate for ourselves on, although we're also policed when we do it or have it used against us ("men would rather X than go to therapy" etc.). But have you ever noticed how most mental health groups don't even try to appeal to men? Graphics are so often this twee artwork with lots of soft pastels and gentle messages. Characters are usually obviously feminine or androgynous but rarely conventiona…	/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates	18/03/23 06:13 PM
34	Sexual politics is damaging young men Recently, Scotland wants to make men, and only men who talk publicly of their sexual conquests illegal. They explicitely allows women to do it without any issue So here's a fun one. I went to college/university in Scotland. When I was 19, I got into a "relationship" with a 31yo mature student. She wanted to feel as young as everyone else; I wanted to be inside a woman a lot; win-win. In hindsight still a situation that really, really should have had more careful consideration, especially from he…	/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates	18/03/23 05:09 PM
47	Sexual politics is damaging young men I'm a bi dude. When I was with a guy, I was often mistaken for gay and didn't usually correct people because it didn't matter in 95% of situations. As a result I sometimes had women have conversations around me they don't have now I'm with a woman. Women objectify men and share sexual exploits just like men do. Women can get just as explicit as men. The main difference I noticed are that men are usually just more boisterous about it and women are more playfully evasive - although after a certain…	/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates	18/03/23 04:58 PM
5	When Did You Become Aware? I'm gay. I love men. If I can ask a slightly personal question - how do you (or anyone else) feel about the way gay men are treated in all the gender discourse? I'm bi and married to a woman but have been with guys (not just in bed) before, and a lot of it makes me uncomfortable. There's definitely some active homophobia and a lot of "we love the gays (as long as they aren't, like, gay infront of me)" in right-wing MRA spaces. But then it feels to me like there's a ton of subtler homophobia in f…	/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates	10/02/23 01:45 PM
7	When Did You Become Aware? they over-focus on mental health I think this is intentionally encouraged in feminist spaces that pretend to entertain men's issues because it can be weaponised. It's like when a shitty job makes someone work 70 hours a week, offers lots of fluffy self-care stuff on the side and then blames staff not engaging with the wellbeing offer when they inevitably burn out/breakdown/rage quit. Men's mental health is a very important issue, but it can't be separated from structural issues facing men. Femin…	/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates	10/02/23 01:26 PM
20	When Did You Become Aware? It was in college and grad school for me. I considered myself a feminist until I was about 20/21, but it was reading feminist theory and encountering out-of-touch middle class feminist activism - that had nothing to do with the world I came from or the world most people regardless of gender lived in - that really alienated me and made me start paying attention to men's issues systematically. I read a lot of the mythopoetic men's movement stuff. That movement was weird and odd in places definitel…	/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates	09/02/23 03:14 PM
36	problems for short men Because feminism isn't interested in grappling with the fact that, actually, women are every bit as capable of being shallow and superficial as men are and play an active role in enforcing harmful gender norms. People often make the comparison to weight, but I'd argue the better comparison is something like breast size. A lot of women are made to feel less desirable because they have a flatter chest. There's a lot of body positivity discourse about loving your own breasts as a woman and criticis…	/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates	09/02/23 02:58 PM
11	"Rolling the dice on your life!" In the UK in 2021 277 women were indicted for cruelty to or neglect of children - 55% of the total. That's close to three times the number of men convicted for killing a woman (109). We're currently in the grip of a national panic about an epidemic of extreme violence against women, even though violent crime has been trending downwards for over two decades on average and the number of women murdered each year has been static (meaning it's declining in real-term because the population is growing)…	/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates	08/02/23 12:23 AM
3	I think that positive masculinity is just traditional masculinity without of the negatives of traditional masculinity, how it really isn't realistic for most men, and how some on the left use this to push bootstraps narrative for men Thanks bro! It's something I've honestly been thinking about trying to find a space/platform to talk about it a bit, because I'm sick of feeling like every resource for men is either "Why You Are And Always Will Be Worse Than Hitler" or "Veridian Pill Yourself Into Mega Alpha T-Rex King Mode". As I see it, the whole toxic vs positive masculinity thing feminists push is just an attempt to pressure men into adhering to restrictive norms beneficial to women, whilst dismantling ones that aren't. It'…	/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates	03/02/23 07:41 PM
40	The woman who sexually assaulted me held the view that all men are evil and that we are sex crazed maniacs. I have noticed that I get very different responses depending on how I talk about my sexual assault experience. If I talk about how my attacker called me crying in their hotel room to try and lure me in after I'd rejected their advances, sent their female friend to my hotel room demand I go make the attacker feel better, then physically manhandled me, ripped my shirt and tried to force me to penetrate them, I get a lot more scepticism. There's often a response that feels dismissively like "well i…	/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates	03/02/23 05:54 PM
27	The woman who sexually assaulted me held the view that all men are evil and that we are sex crazed maniacs. We don't all communicate in the same way. Communicating a traumatic experience in colder, clinical language can make it easier and less distressing for the person to discuss. Some people write like that naturally, or struggle to find the words. Not everyone is naturally adept at labelling emotions or articulating experiences. Maybe someone is processing and wants to share a singular, focused thought without getting into a discussion of what actually happened to them. There are lots of voluntary,…	/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates	03/02/23 02:25 PM
4	I think that positive masculinity is just traditional masculinity without of the negatives of traditional masculinity, how it really isn't realistic for most men, and how some on the left use this to push bootstraps narrative for men I totally agree with you. I think when it comes to gender we sometimes confuse important and meaningful as though they're the same. Our gender identities and expressions shouldn't be important in the world in the sense of creating limits for us in society or putting unfair expectations on us; that doesn't mean they can't be meaningful in joyful ways. Something I have found liberating is to understand 'masculine' as simply what I am; some ethereal yet fundamental part of my being. Instead of masc…	/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates	01/02/23 06:46 PM
9	Should there be a push for more men to study psychology? I’d add to this: better support for retraining and reskilling could help with not forcing people into things. There are probably a good few men beyond college age with the life experience that would make them want to go into becoming a psychologist, counsellor, teacher etc, but it’s a lot harder to get the support to go back and study and start a new career. I looked into going into teacher training but I didn’t qualify for any financial support because my degree isn’t in demand (even though mos…	/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates	24/01/23 02:11 PM
63	Feminism and a lack of objectivity in academic fields Part of the problem is that the feminist movement within the academic world has constructed entire disciplines they can gatekeep so it can create the impression of a monopoly on expertise vis a vis gender, sexuality and issues relating to them. If you write egalitarian and/or pro-male stuff in an undergrad assignment you'll be failed. If you propose a critique of feminism for a master's thesis you'll be told to do something else. If you want to do a PhD criticising core feminist concepts you won…	/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates	23/01/23 12:39 PM
10	Is protecting women heroism or the bare minimum? I think this raises a kind of important point in relation to your original post: there are biological and social factors both at play in why we’re more likely to jump in or put ourselves at risk first. But even if we’ll always be more likely to, why does that make it less deserving of being considered exceptional and heroic? Like, there’s a ton of celebration of women who go through pregnancy for their strength and endurance and risks they take. Most people would agree it’s shitty to say women s…	/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates	22/01/23 09:55 PM
30	Is protecting women heroism or the bare minimum? I’d add to the other good points people have made: even in this world view, why should every random woman be prioritised by every random man? I am stronger, bigger and more tolerant to pain than my wife. Absolutely I feel a strong drive to keep her physically safe and would risk my life to protect her. If I get myself killed intervening in a random fight, my death causes permanent harm and trauma to my wife. Shouldn’t I be protecting her from that by showing careful risk awareness and management…	/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates	22/01/23 03:25 PM
1	Let's talk some more about the APA's guideline on boys and men? Oh I know! Totally get it, no worries.	/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates	22/01/23 01:01 PM
1	Let's talk some more about the APA's guideline on boys and men? Thanks for checking! I just knew Connell was in there and this is her big thing. Anything post-1995 from Connell is based in this world view (she was a little bit more moderate in the ‘80s) - I know as recently as 2010 she was standing unconditionally by the book, and she republished it in 2005 without taking any of this out. I plan to do a proper thread on this in a couple of weeks to help people who can’t easily access this stuff.	/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates	22/01/23 10:29 AM
4	Let's talk some more about the APA's guideline on boys and men? If you can get the Google Books preview, pages 230 - 240 deal with most of this. I am away from my PC for the next several days (posted this before taking a trip) so I am limited on what I can access but here are some direct quotes I can pull right now as examples: “The pattern of difference/dominance is so deeply embedded in culture, institutions and body-reflexive practices that it func tions as a limit to the rights-based politics of reform. Beyond a certain point, the critique of dominance …	/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates	21/01/23 10:36 PM
45	Let's talk some more about the APA's guideline on boys and men? Small world - literally read this again last night too. Even one of their own internal reviewers revealed afterwards that he warned them it was an offensive document full of anti-male rhetoric. They had warning and published anyway. Part of the problem is (and I want to write a thread about this when I have time now I’ve discovered this place!) there’s basically an entire cottage industry of misandrist radical feminists in the academic world who present themselves as the experts on masculinity a…	/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates	21/01/23 10:54 AM
5	LWMA Lounge I think you're totally right, at least for some men drawn to Tate and his kind. My wife is a mental health professional and she has a good illustrative example of this. If she was upset because I don't ever tell her she's pretty or do things to make her feel good looking, even though there might be some insecurity there for her to work on, most people would agree it's my job as her husband to compliment her more and make her feel attractive. But if I was upset because she doesn't ever make me fe…	/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates	20/01/23 10:57 PM