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Progressive_sloth Archive

View 1 posts and 46 comments by Progressive_sloth on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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30

There’s also a fine balance between policing your own internal detective for the sake of not invading another woman’s privacy and feeling like it might be the first thing to do the first time you catch a glimpse of “hmmmm”. I hate to think of bothering someone who might just want to move on and never speak of their experiences with a man again but have at least only had that experience once.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/08/21 12:05 AM
120

I have never regretted talking to other women who’ve dated a man I am with. I have only regretted not doing it sooner - and ignoring the reality that having the urge or curiosity to do it in the first place is enough reason to GTFO.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/08/21 11:22 PM
129

This is embarrassing for both of them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/08/21 11:50 PM
2

That’s incredibly probable. It was plausible at the time because of how my doctor’s nurse handled it - I asked about whether I could safely have sex and she said “just wear protection”. I asked my doc and she said “if you’re staying with this partner then you can do that safely but anyone else, you’re going to pass it on.” So it’s not improbable he got that response, but I can’t prove it either way, which is why at first it didn’t occur to me that it might be totally bullshit. Since the breakup …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/08/21 11:39 PM
2

Oh I think I’ve come across wrong. I in no way allow mental health to excuse behavior. My educational bg is in psych and I work in a social services field so it’s just my default to analyze the shit out of why people do things. It doesn’t mean I condone it - I pushed back on his mental health and trauma excuses right away (because of this sub, honestly). I agree, he is a nasty character. I’m just saying the impact for me has been intense because I don’t have an on/off switch for separating my in…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/08/21 11:31 PM
113

Wow, tons of perishable food when the risk of electricity going out is high… Awesome. Jfc.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/08/21 10:57 PM
3

I definitely don’t have the full ability to parse out what is a lie or not but have been assuming that even mostly truthful comments he made contained dishonesty. The thing is - I discovered in my snooping he is also diagnosed bipolar with possible schizoid tendencies so I truly believe he probably doesn’t even fucking realize some of the dishonesty. However- the not telling me about the HSV was completely deliberate and my assumption has been he withheld that hoping that once I found out, I wou…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/08/21 10:46 PM
3

He said his doctor brushed him off when he brought up being exposed (his ex has confirmed HPV and underwent extra screenings bc of it, but it sounds like neither of them were fully aware of the full extent of its danger - and his doctor basically told him “most people have it, not a big deal”, but I imagine he didn’t confer the information that his ex tested positive with a cancer causing strain. I’m probably not in a mindset currently to be even considering bringing this to an already overloade…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/08/21 10:11 PM
7

Oh yeah, once he realized I was not backing down during conversation in person (should have just been leaving, I am learning still), he started saying I made him have panic attacks in person because I am too “cold and combative”…so he moved all communication to text and has openly admitted several times to not telling me prior…but my last pap before that was three years ago as my age doesn’t indicate the need for more frequent screening.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/08/21 10:01 PM
4

I think that’s a more grey area. The cost of litigation is prohibitive for me though, honestly. If I do wind up needing further invasive procedures for any reason because of this, I may revisit that idea. For now, my medical insurance covers things afaik. A contract honestly seems like a brilliant idea. Sad.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/08/21 08:40 PM
11

Not in my state, apparently. Which is just the chefs kiss cherry on top as it completely minimizes the impact and gives the impression this isn’t a severe violation of bodily autonomy and so forth. Red state and all.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/08/21 08:36 PM
3

For the standard screening, he did actually show me and had scheduled his appointment proactively and let me know about it when he did so. Cue me being comfortable as a result of this seemingly responsible behavior. I would never have known about the HpV if he hadn’t fessed up - it’s not tested in men so it’s literally an honor system if they know they’ve been exposed. There is no way to prevent them from lying about it or vetting for this.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/08/21 08:11 PM
12

This, exactly. Even when I presented the information about cervical cancer risk the men I know jump to “well it’s rare though.” Okay. Sure. And yet how many women needlessly die from it yearly? And how many of them thought “oh it won’t happen to me?” Even those who survive the cancer have catastrophic health impacts from the treatment. For those who never develop cancer but do have abnormal cells as a result of HPV they get to have parts of their cervix burnt off and go through a two week recove…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/08/21 07:25 PM
22

I did consult a friend who is an attorney- in my state HPV isn’t amongst the diseases that can lead to charges. I can still sue civilly but they can make the argument I hadn’t had a pap since my last partner (due to the pandemic) so I could have had it the whole time. Not likely…but from a legal standpoint…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/08/21 07:22 PM
32

Yeah. I was so distracted at the time and going through a different medical issue from long term covid it didn’t even sink in. When I went back and reread it a week later I was seeing red but he’d already artfully created a huge drama about something else. That’s when I walked, but I regret deeply not issuing the appropriate level of reaction immediately.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/08/21 05:22 PM
52

https://i.imgur.com/r9pQYZo.jpg He wrote me an email. No idea what prompted him to finally speak up, but he sent it while I was in the middle of rescuing a friend from a dead car in another state and I was too distracted to let it sink in right away…and four days later is when he started pulling some messed up emotional manipulation and hot/cold behavior, which I believe strongly was him trying to find a way to DARVO before I had time to properly respond to this incident. We have broken up, but …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/08/21 04:47 PM
15

The ghosts of my past are roaring to life reading this.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/08/21 04:42 PM
43

I’m so glad you’re getting vaccinated! I had no idea women my age were able to - it’s never been brought up to me at appointments. Please do, protect yourself as much as possible. You’re right, no guy is worth it. Also - men CAN get vaccinated too.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/08/21 04:23 PM
56

I had no idea they actually could get tested. If we have to endure the pain of having our precancerous and cancerous cells biopsied and burned off in the worst case scenario, they can fuck off with whining about pain. I’m so sorry you’re four years into this. I’ve read it doesn’t always clear. That’s so stressful.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/08/21 04:22 PM
68

I’m sorry you’re dealing with it too. Just because a lot of people will get it at some point doesn’t mean we shouldn’t be honest about exposure. There’s only a handful of cancer causing strains, and people don’t have a right to decide for us whether the risk is low. I didn’t even know the vaccine was available to people my age - if this chode had told me the truth, I’d have promptly researched it thoroughly, learned I could be vaccinated and done that before having sex. My sexuality is very impo…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/08/21 04:20 PM
70

Thank you - my female friends are all furious on my behalf. His male friends were all like “uh what’s the big deal?” So frustrating. My state doesn’t include HpV in the legal mandatory disclosure law so unfortunately unless I develop cancer I can’t do anything. I have a lawyer friend who said I could sue in civil court but that’s such a costly and stressful headache. I want to chop off his fucking dick tbh!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/08/21 01:48 PM
341

Even then - the last person I dated got the test but failed to inform he’d been exposed to HPV in the last two years. He confessed a month later saying he didn’t think it was that big of a deal since most people get it at some point and he’d always used protection with that person. I had a pap done two months later and found out a couple weeks ago I am now positive for HpV strand 16 - the one that causes the most cancer. I’m pretty sure I am just done having sex with anyone. It’s too easy for me…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/08/21 01:34 PM
3

jesus. I’m sorry he subjected you to verbal abuse like that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/08/21 11:30 AM
230

That soft open, too, like, so manipulative- “oh gee look at me I am feeling a little SHY and uncertain so you’ll trust my motives are truly just about fInDiNg My TrUtH with sex and not exploitative depravity!” And then to circle right into “the pandemic has me considering alternative ideas”, okay so now let’s also exploit the collective traumatic experience of being alive the past 18 months to pad the empathy we’re trying to build for our scrotastic heist on some woman’s body. I fucking cannot a…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/08/21 02:28 AM
20

Omg. Yes, I too have been called “too cerebral”. The fuck? Also, one dude said I “communicate too logically.” I’m….sorry? I learned not to reveal my autism to any man too - they looooooove to blame things that aren’t related to autism on autism once they know - and to completely miss the things that are autism…like the memory, the intense ability to see through bullshit because we have spent an entire lifetime learning how to read people from scratch, the ability to see holes in stories quickly……
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/08/21 01:36 AM
79

I have Asperger’s too. I’m a victim of severe childhood trauma too. Somehow I managed to not idolize psychopaths and instead identify with people like Bernie Sanders and Erin Brockovich. Funny how autism and trauma don’t have to fucking define what your values are. I’m so so so so so SO sick of that trope and high five to you for saying something. I hate enablers more than I hate scrotes, honestly. Well I don’t hate anyone, usually but you KWIM.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/08/21 12:00 AM
33

So true. As someone who works in a social service adjacent field I have struggled hard to accept that my “peace, love and communication” mindset were a huge part of why I was/am a bully magnet. Take that mindset, add a dash of autism (ie: lopsided people reading skills at time) and WELP. So yeah, now I identify bullies and serve their shit right back if I can safely do so. Then watch as they have a fucking meltdown and DARVO the whole situation to death. To be fair, too - I have one friend, male…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/08/21 08:18 PM
14

👏🏼 👏🏼 👏🏼
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/08/21 07:43 PM
53

I love this. I have been slowly gaining muscle with this approach as well. I’m clever and have a biting sense of humor and have gained a lot of confidence in dishing back the same energy I’m given. Sometimes I just bite my tongue and let it be, depending on the situation/“vibes”, but I truly have no sympathy for a man making it obvious he’s intimidated by intellect. Turn off the porn and watch some Planet Earth.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/08/21 07:29 PM
58

Let’s say I’m leveling up slowly but surely, haha. 💕
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/08/21 05:38 PM
152

I’m autistic. I’m also pretty educated and have some odd interests I get really into - like the engineering of bridges or the decomposition process of forest floors, etc. I’m a complete geek and I can’t feel fulfilled if I’m not learning something new regularly. I also happen to have excellent memory recall skills which is fantastic for educational purposes and really dangerous for calling people out on their BS purposes because it realllllly makes men angry. I’m Let me tell you how many men hav…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/08/21 05:35 PM
210

Many years ago I got caught up with a seriously violent man. I was very young, naive, a struggling single mom and didn’t realize the shit I was walking into. I managed to get out of that situation by the skin of my teeth and learned he was moving in on a woman I’d known in college who was very emotionally fragile. I reached out and asked her to meet me, and she did, and the day we met I was covered in bruises and still had a strangulation mark on my neck…she listened to me, she seemed really unc…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/08/21 05:18 PM
7

You are absolutely welcome! I hope you’re able to get what you need from the experience! I will say too that the lady who runs the diagnosis process is VERY kind, patient and communicative so if you have questions or anything definitely reach out to her. I never waited more than a couple days for a response which was incredibly helpful for my super anxious brain. It really makes a difference having someone who is both a woman and neurodivergent at the helm.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/08/21 05:16 PM
7

The first set is around $300 - that’s the one that determines whether or not you have enough probability of diagnosis to keep going forward- a lot of people stop there because they feel comfortable having the “good enough” reassurance that they’re likely autistic. If you opt for the additional diagnosis battery for medical documentation I think it’s another $650? It might be a little different from when I did it a year ago but that’s what I’m remembering. I know it was about $1000 altogether for…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/08/21 05:04 PM
31

Try embraceAsd.com It’s run by a couple whom both have ASD - the doctor who diagnoses is a woman and developed the website to help give access to women for diagnosis at a lower than average cost since the barriers for dx after age 18 are so high. She offers a free battery of “pre screens” you can take to evaluate how likely you are to be diagnosed and her battery looks for ADHD or people (like myself) who have both autism and ADHd. If your pre screens indicate probable diagnosis you can pay for …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/08/21 03:26 PM
47

Yup. Any hobbies are fine with me if they’re invested in appropriately. I don’t mess with dudes whose entire lives are driven by ANY hobby - be it toys, hunting, exercise, whatever - but how people indulge their joy doesn’t bother me if they’re not harming anyone and are well balanced emotionally. So that still means the majority of men are out ha
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/07/21 02:39 PM
2

I raise you a Jackson Avery! He has badass character development too - although def still some questionable moments - but overall the highest value man on the show I think.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/05/21 02:53 PM
1

Thank you so much. I keep feeling like I’m doing the wrong thing by hiding out, like it’s giving him some kind of sense of safety to see me shrink away, you know? But honestly, so much other stuff is going mad right now it’s probably better for humanity in general for Facebook to be down ha
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/06/20 01:17 PM
3

Sorry to rope you in! I just had such a visceral reaction to the picture in the OP and it felt better to at least let some of this story out. Thank you for lending me your ears for a few moments, kind internet lady.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/06/20 05:57 PM
11

Damn. That’s power. I haven’t ever used Tumblr, but I’m not against it. I somehow doubt anything I shared would get picked up but it would be really really goddamned validating.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/06/20 05:29 PM
19

I was honestly just thinking that the other day - there should be a database or website the people can aggregate this shit on. I have publicly available documents and video/pictures from the attack. I just may do exactly this. Any other brilliant ideas? You seem sharp.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/06/20 05:12 PM
16

I almost did, honestly, but at the time I was too messed up to deal with the inevitable backlash. I’ve been putting together all my evidence for the prosecutor (I have recordings from that day), and have toyed with making a slideshow and blasting it all over. I just know that people will have a kneejerk reaction of seeing it as petty and vindictive, which isn’t rational, but would still be emotional labor I don’t feel like dealing with. Well, at least then. I’m kinda ready now. Just not sure the…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/06/20 05:00 PM
20

Holy crap. Is that legal? I’m not asking in an accusatory way at all, just completely ignorant about those kinds of things.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/06/20 04:37 PM
31

My prosecutor said I can write a statement of impact, which I am going to do. I’ll be able to read it in front of all of them at the sentencing. I guess I am not so much afraid as I am angry? Angry that people can be in such denial about reality while the proof is in front of them? And angry that because it’s his first arrest for DV, I’ve already been warned by the prosecutor he won’t get the fair level of sentencing he should? I definitely will bring someone to court with me though, that’s a so…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/06/20 04:13 PM
9

Thank you, really. Even just seeing this post was helpful, knowing there are sane people who see things rationally.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/06/20 04:07 PM
118

I believe this in my bones, but for some reason I am also to chickenshit to out my abuser. He was arrested a month ago today and I immediately deactivated all social media because his mom and best friend both came at me in messages while I was in the ER. Since then, I cannot think of what to even say, or how to say it, but every day that passes I feel more pissed and more helpless both. It’s dehumanizing to keep things to myself, but I live in fucking Indiana, capital of the “keep your dirty lau…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/06/20 02:59 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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