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PublicStranger Archive

View 0 posts and 494 comments by PublicStranger on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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1

Feminism isn't an institution. It's a loose gaggle of people--most of whom disagree with each other in major ways (example: try starting a discussion about legalizing prostitution amongst a group of feminists, and see how much they fight about it)--but who, for historical reasons, happen to use the same term to identify themselves. It's about as vague as "conservative" or "liberal".
/r/MensRights10/01/13 10:47 AM
2

I think #5 is an often-missed point. At the end of the day, people will like you and want to hang out with you if you are a joy to be around. Both men and women will look up to you more and seek out your company more if you make their lives better, and they will avoid you if you make their lives worse. This is why humor and fun spontaneity are such beloved traits, but they're not the only ones; there are a lot of things you can do to make people's days brighter and make them look forward to seei…
/r/seduction01/11/12 07:16 AM
1

Attraction ISN'T LOGICAL... Hehe, yes. When I asked my boyfriend what the most important component of attraction is for him, he said physical appearance, and that the girl's charisma has basically nothing to do with it. But then he admitted that there are female characters in movies he finds ridiculously adorable—until he sees the actress in an interview and he finds her totally off-putting because of her mannerisms and the way she talks. I have a hypothesis that we (and maybe men in particular?…
/r/seduction24/08/12 03:42 AM
1

Ha, whoops, I missed that. I don't feel attracted to him because I'd have to see him face to face. Intellectual stimulation is vital for me, but it's not the whole story. That being said, he's someone I'd be more interested in seeing face to face than someone who, say, only posted flirty comments to me. Another complicating factor is that I'm in a relationship. When I'm single, however, I get crushes like crazy and I tend to sniff out every possible lead. If someone exhibits one feature I find a…
/r/seduction24/08/12 03:34 AM
1

There was definitely physical attraction; that is imperative. It was not achieved through kino (which I find off-putting and suffocating before I'm attracted), but rather through facial features, mannerisms, and the like.
/r/seduction24/08/12 03:29 AM
1

I am saying that NOONE has a technique that will work on 100% of women. Every woman's each individual psyche does NOT work the same way. Right. And, as I understand it, this is the reason you're encouraged to throw your net far and wide—rather than focusing all your efforts on a single woman, especially if she's resisting.
/r/seduction24/08/12 03:26 AM
1

Hehe, thanks. I'm with a good one now—though I had to travel far to nab him! Best of luck to you, too, and thank you for the interesting discussion.
/r/seduction23/08/12 04:43 PM
1

A man's greatest treasure is his intellect - just like a woman's greatest treasure is her beauty and attractiveness and he likes nothing better to be appreciated for that. I feel my great treasure is my intellect as well. I appreciate compliments to my intelligence more than I appreciate compliments to my appearance. I spend a greater time honing my thoughts than fiddling with my appearance, too. My great fear is not the day I am so old that I am no longer attractive. It is the day I'm so old I …
/r/seduction23/08/12 04:40 PM
1

This doesn't mean you understand yourself at the visceral level. This is true. The visceral stuff happens under the hood. But I think I can make pretty decent predictions about myself at this point. This is the other thing I forgot to mention. Most women, when giving advice, seem to automatically filter their advice. Boy oh boy, do they! And I do, too, in less anonymous settings. If a friend of mine is asking for advice with girls, I'm certainly not going to tell him his voice is too nasal, for …
/r/seduction23/08/12 04:19 PM
2

Majority of us vets have asked women for dating advise...didn't turn out well at all. I don't think most people (especially young, inexperienced people) understand themselves well. If you had asked me why I was physically attracted to my first boyfriend, I'd have told you it was because he had curly hair, dark skin, and freckles—because those were the things about him that stood out. I kid you not, when we broke up, I was scared I wouldn't be able to find another guy who looked just like him (tr…
/r/seduction23/08/12 03:52 PM
2

But the bigger problem is that most women aren't like you. This is true. However, a subset of women are like me, and we like male (or female) attention, too. Most seduction advice is not properly aimed at winning us over, though. I feel we are an "underseduced" subset of the population, if that makes sense. The second biggest fallacy is the belief that you understand yourself at the visceral level. My understanding about myself is based on my experiences. I think I have enough dating experience …
/r/seduction23/08/12 03:34 PM
2

One of them is not to get emotionally invested in women and not to give them too much attention (putting them on a pedestal) before there's any physical intimacy. Well, this one I can agree with. Premature emotional investment and excessive attention is very suffocating. I am introverted, so this goes doubly for me. Please stop giving this advice, it's terrible. It is not terrible for people who will achieve success with it. If virtually all men are using tactics that work on 99% of women, there…
/r/seduction23/08/12 02:53 PM
1

This is a good point. I am not sexually attracted to strangers, so I've never had casual sex. I've always had sex in the context of a relationship. I do like the idea of casual sex, but my brain doesn't seem to work that way. Attempts to get me into bed quickly have consistently failed. (Note: This does not mean I'm non-sexual. I have a painfully high sex drive; it's just very focused.)
/r/seduction23/08/12 02:48 PM
1

It will fuck up your chances with some women. It will not fuck up your chances with me. Every relationship I've been in started along those lines. Different people are different. Play to your strengths and find your niche.
/r/seduction23/08/12 02:29 PM
5

I agree that attraction is not a choice. However, that does not mean you don't know what turns you on and what turns you off. I also don't have a choice in which foods I like and which foods I dislike, but I can still tell you that I love artichokes and hate onions.
/r/seduction23/08/12 02:28 PM
13

It's different if the fish wants to be caught.
/r/seduction23/08/12 08:05 AM
0

I have no idea what's true for most girls, since I don't date them. I only know myself. But I know that for me, personally, flirting and touching are absolutely not necessary for me to develop a crush. Nearly every crush I've ever had has been on an established platonic friend. My current relationship even started online, and we did not flirt until after we admitted we had crushes on each other. Nor did we touch until we met in person months later. (This, by the way, was a really exciting way to…
/r/seduction23/08/12 06:29 AM
4

I think you misread my comment. I was in agreement with the main point of the post above—that chemistry is important. I was just pointing out that there are different paths to chemistry, and it depends on the tastes of the person you're pursuing. Knowing your IQ won't make me attracted to you. But hearing you say intelligent, engrossing things can make my nethers quiver. Show, don't tell.
/r/seduction23/08/12 05:52 AM
16

I appreciate that you point out how one size does not fit all. I am a woman, and for me personally, it's true that I have to feel chemistry. It's not enough for me to mentally categorize a guy as a good catch on paper. But the way to my heart and bed is not through sexual innuendo and touching. And it's not through humor (which is another approach some guys take with great success). For me, it's through exciting my intellect. If every time I talk to you, I end up thinking about the world through…
/r/seduction23/08/12 04:40 AM
3

I agree. I think women do have legitimate problems in the West. I think men do, too. The thing is I don't think we should dismiss someone's problems on the basis that someone else has more problems. And the other thing is I think we should spend more time helping other people who have problems, too—not just ourselves.
/r/MensRights05/08/12 09:33 AM
5

Women should have the same rights as men and vice versa and while feminist have achieved a lot, i do think maybe they should back down a bit and focus on women's rights in the non-Western world. This is a really important point. I would love to see the bulk of feminist organizations focusing on this. I would support them all the way. When the argument is "Women have it worse than men, so we need to focus on just women", I am left speechless. Even if that's true, wouldn't that mean we should focu…
/r/MensRights05/08/12 08:41 AM
1

Out of curiosity, where were you living overseas?
/r/MensRights05/08/12 08:31 AM
1

It seems like feminists say one thing and then say something else, and it's not at all clear what their base stance is. I want to give them the benefit of the doubt, though; I realize that "feminist" is an extremely vague term, and there are many feminists who vehemently disagree with each other, which may be where this confusion comes from. I know a lot of people who call themselves feminists on the basis that they support women's rights, but who would scratch their heads and wonder what you we…
/r/MensRights05/08/12 08:16 AM
18

It bothers me how much more rude and competitive people are toward my boyfriend than they are toward me, when actually he's more sensitive and nonconfrontational than I am. When someone insults him, he feels really bad about it for days. Meanwhile, I shake off insults almost immediately and I rarely shy away from a good argument, yet I'm treated with the utmost delicacy and so much tact that I feel misled. I wish people would give more credence to our personalities than our genders.
/r/MensRights05/08/12 01:18 AM
5

I wish people would understand this. Alienating others makes them care less about your concerns. But supporting others makes them feel like they're on your team. For the life of me, I cannot understand why feminism and men's rights are supposed to be enemies. Don't both claim they support equality? They seem like they should be natural allies, just with different focuses. As someone who supports both men's rights and women's rights, it drives me crazy how much people expect me to only care about…
/r/MensRights05/08/12 01:03 AM
2

Statistics are a collection of observations. Personal anecdotes are also a collection of observations. With a key difference. Statistical data is collected with the intention of minimal sample bias, whereas personal anecdotes (by their nature) are not collected through unbiased sampling methods. For example, I can't walk down the street, record data on every tree I pass, and then do statistical analysis on that data; whatever statistical results I get would be invalid, since I haven't followed p…
/r/MensRights26/07/12 09:19 AM
1

I hate it when people take a term that already has a common-use definition, and then try to change its definition. Why not use a new term? Co-opting an established term just causes confusion (which, in this case, I think is intentional—not unlike "evolution is just a theory"). The other thing is that even if we're going to talk specifically about institutionalized sexism—then we still can't claim that only women are victims of it. Men are routine victims of systemic sexism. I can't say whether m…
/r/MensRights26/07/12 09:06 AM
1

I'd say by most normal definitions of feminism and men's rights activism, I am both a feminist and an MRA because I'm a big supporter of the rights and welfare of men and women. However, I tend to avoid both terms in preference for "egalitarian". I think egalitarianism, as a term, best captures what I am. The terms "feminist" and "MRA" carry a lot of baggage that I'd rather not be associated with. As a general rule, the more loudly someone proclaims that they are a feminist or that they are an M…
/r/MensRights26/07/12 08:48 AM
2

I know more than my fair share of male-identifying men who like to wear women's clothing. I've dated a few of them, too. You should see if there's a Rocky Horror Picture Show cast in your area. RHPS may not be your thing, but you're likely to find a social circle there who will be accepting of your fashion taste.
/r/MensRights26/07/12 08:43 AM
6

You do realize that "hard statistics" are nothing more than personal anecdotes by someone that you deem "worthy", right? Statistics is a branch of mathematics. It is extremely well studied and understood. Although sometimes statistical data is misconstrued or misunderstood, that is absolutely not the same as using personal anecdotes. If it were, I'd never step inside a building more than 3-4 storeys tall. I highly recommend learning more about statistics. It's really quite interesting, and knowi…
/r/MensRights26/07/12 08:26 AM
4

The cause is not fully understood, but it does appear that many boys and girls perform better in school when they are segregated by sex and when the education style is properly catered to each sex. In co-ed classroms, boys tend to be energetic and disruptive (perhaps pointing to too few hands-on activities or too little recess?), while girls tend to be overshadowed and intimidated by the louder boys. Also, boys and girls seem to learn different skills at different rates. The jury's still out a b…
/r/MensRights26/07/12 08:08 AM
2

Also, you can teach him tricks for avoiding boredom while he's in school. I benefitted greatly from doodling at school any time I was idle, for example. It kept me calm and alert. It also amounted to an unusually high degree of artistic talent and visual-spatial intelligence, both of which have been very helpful in my adulthood.
/r/MensRights26/07/12 07:47 AM
2

Perhaps the solution is a co-ed school with same-sex classes—with some part of the school day (like recess) or some classes (like art) set aside for co-ed socializing?
/r/MensRights26/07/12 07:43 AM
2

Schools don't treat boys particularly differently. However, little boys and little girls are different from each other, and sometimes they do need slightly different treatment. For example, boys tend to be more energetic, and recess time is being increasingly shortened in schools—to boys' detriment more than girls' detriment (though I believe they're both hurt by not having enough playtime). This results in boys being more fidgety and rowdy than girls in class. They end up having a harder time p…
/r/MensRights26/07/12 07:39 AM
2

Make sure he has a social life outside of school, away from his classmates. If his social life at school takes a dive, having friends elsewhere will help him get through the day and still feel like a likeable, worthwhile person.
/r/MensRights26/07/12 07:35 AM
3

My boyfriend dismisses the men's rights movement as a parody of feminism. I've tried to convince him of its merits (paternal rights, keeping boys in school and college, prison reform, domestic violence reduction, etc.), and he does agree with those notions, but when he tries to research the men's rights movement on his own, he keeps seeing MRAs complaining about the same petty he-said-she-said that feminists do. He doesn't take it seriously; he thinks MRAs are more focused on feeling like precio…
/r/MensRights26/07/12 07:04 AM
21

No matter how experienced you are, the first time you have sex with a new lover is always going to be awkward. Every body is different. My last boyfriend had a technique that got his previous girlfriend off like crazy—and I could barely even feel it. My boyfriend before that had been warned by a previous girl to never, ever use a certain technique because it felt awful—but when I got him to do it to me, it drove me wild. There's always a bit of this fumbling around, figuring out what works and w…
/r/seduction02/06/12 08:58 AM
58

I agree with this. I'm female, and the way you talk about this issue (and any other issue) makes a huge difference. Acting awkward about it makes it seem like there's a problem—like it's something we should be concerned about, since you obviously are. But acting totally comfortable about it puts us at ease and reassures us that all is well. For the record, I've taken the virginity of a man in his mid-20s and it was amazing. He was a total blank slate—eager to learn everything and having no prior…
/r/seduction02/06/12 06:13 AM
1

So if your socks match your shoes, then it's almost gonna look like you were wearing boots, and the contour of the shoe kind of vanishes (which can also be a good thing). Whereas if your socks match your pants, it's going to give a smoother, more layered transition to the shoes. Hm, yeah, that makes sense. And things like dressing to make your body appear one shape over another (e.g., dressing to emphasize or de-emphasize broadness of shoulders) make sense. I suppose those are more about visual …
/r/seduction31/05/12 01:39 PM
2

Some advice can be used though, like how black shoes shouldn't be worn with light jeans, sock color should match your pants, etc. Actually, I've never heard that advice. It strikes me as a bit arbitrary; any idea what the reasoning is? (Personally, I prefer black socks all the way—no matter what they're worn with.) The thing that bothers me the most about fashion advice is the nagging feeling that it will be outdated in another 10 years. Maybe round-toed shoes will look hideous and dated by the …
/r/seduction31/05/12 12:57 PM
2

If it's any consolation, I'm female and I do not notice shoes unless I trip over them. You might say they are…beneath my notice. My only preference for shoes is that they be as subtle as possible—one dark, solid color—because I like not noticing them. For the record, my boyfriend has a pair of nice square-toed shoes that he uses for swing dancing; they looks almost exactly like those in the picture. Yet girls still seem to get crushes on him left and right (to my dismay, hehe). If you like a cer…
/r/seduction31/05/12 09:48 AM
1

I would consider these maybe be distant from her, or instigate a break up to be extremely risky moves. I know I for one don't give second chances.
/r/seduction25/05/12 07:20 AM
1

Out of curiosity, why is pool considered manly? Surely volleyball shows off masculine characteristics better. Just tradition, I suppose?
/r/seduction25/05/12 07:17 AM
0

I like this graphic. It is not mean-spirited, it is not biased by tunnel vision, it gets right to the root of the problem, and it encourages cooperation and sympathy between the genders rather than alienation and mud-throwing.
/r/MensRights25/05/12 06:19 AM
1

Whether or not a girl gets hit on depends on where she goes. If you're female and you go to a place where people go to hook up (like a bar) and the male-to-female ratio isn't absurd, you'll get hit on if you're at all reasonably attractive. If you live in a low-income area and don't look too intimidating, you'll get catcalls and bullshit most days. But if you don't go to places like that, you won't get hit on too often. You may catch a few men's eyes here and there, maybe have a friendly convers…
/r/seduction25/05/12 06:11 AM
2

Very true. But I don't think rape would affect me, personally, as deeply as other experiences I've been through have. As a little girl, I was mistakenly seized into foster care, where I was physically abused for several months and told that my parents had given me away because they didn't want me—by far the most harrowing experience of my life and the source of several years of early childhood depression. When I was a couple years older, I lost my brother and several other family members. And as…
/r/MensRights10/05/12 12:22 AM
1

I worked as a head cashier where I rang up customers, answered customer questions, trained new employees, and used the phone (answering incoming calls, making outgoing calls). It really helped me get used to approaching people, making small talk with people, breaking bad news to people, and (the source of my deepest social anxiety) talking on the phone. The bad thing was that I'm introverted, in addition to being shy, so it really drained me mentally to work there even after I got over my nervou…
/r/seduction09/05/12 09:14 AM
2

I would rather be killed than beaten, personally. Once you're dead, your experience stops. On the other hand, torture makes you want to be dead. Personally, I'd sooner be raped by a stranger than raped by a friend, then sooner raped by a friend than killed, and then sooner killed than tortured. Unfortunately, the worst instances of rape occur alongside being tortured and killed. In those instances, though, it is the torture that I find most frightening to think about. The rape makes it scary, to…
/r/MensRights09/05/12 03:12 AM
5

"Don't be unattractive" includes "don't behave stupidly or intimidatingly toward women you don't know". No matter what you look like, most women are going to find that behavior repulsive.
/r/MensRights09/05/12 03:01 AM
5

Yeah, for me, I'm certainly afraid of rape—but almost entirely because I'm afraid my rapist will kill me or physically debilitate me. Having sex I don't want to have would suck, but as long as I came out of it relatively unscathed (no dangerous STD, no pregnancy, no lasting wounds, etc.), it wouldn't be the worst thing that's ever happened to me. I am afraid to walk alone at night or in certain neighborhoods, but that's because I'm afraid of getting mugged. This is a fear that most men surely sh…
/r/MensRights09/05/12 02:59 AM
1

In my experience, shyness is something that seems to fade gradually throughout life. Getting a job in retail will help speed up that process; repeated exposure to the thing that makes you anxious will help you get used to it.
/r/seduction09/05/12 01:57 AM
1

Better yet, claim you lost the bet (your friends thought she was awful, and you wanted to prove them wrong). Then you'll have a good excuse for looking disappointed, and she'll feel like she lost someone who was on her side.
/r/seduction20/04/12 03:02 PM
10

Yeah, same here. I'm getting ready to move, and saying goodbye to a lot of my acquaintances has really loosened me up—because I'm less concerned about how they'll view me, since we may never see each other again. Consequently, I feel like I've become better friends with them now, in my last couple days, than I've been over the course of the entire time I've known them. My boyfriend and I got as close as we are because we were from different countries and never, ever intended to pursue anything w…
/r/seduction17/04/12 05:24 PM
15

I'm a girl who loves the company of people I can just be quiet with or have a short conversation with. It gets really uncomfortable for me when a guy tries to constantly fill in any gap in conversation. But if he's comfortable with silence, I pick up on that and am comfortable, too. He has no need to feel like he has to entertain me. When people talk about the importance of being confident, this is what they're getting at. Confidence level is infectious; if you're confident and comfortable with …
/r/seduction17/04/12 05:20 PM
1

Yeah, he was pretty upset about that for a long time. He still talks about it occasionally. He ended up becoming good friends with her roommates (they invited him to the funeral).
/r/seduction17/04/12 02:04 AM
5

Something like this happened to my dad back in his college days. He made a date with a girl he met at a party. When he went to go pick her up the next night, she never came to the door. It turned out she died (undiagnosed heart problem) and he was one of the last people to see her alive.
/r/seduction15/04/12 08:22 PM
3

This would be great advice for women, too. We all know women who find themselves in unhappy, semi-abusive relationships where they're treated like doormats—because being in a steady relationship is something you're supposed to do, and the idea of being single for any substantial period of time seems miserable and embarrassing.
/r/seduction15/04/12 08:12 PM
17

I'm female, and I'd say most of this is really good. I do have one major quibble, though: Girls don't get romantically involved with safe guys who are not exciting to them. (classic nice guy syndrome) Basically, I like "safe" guys. I am a "safe" girl. I like a guy who is like me: calm, introverted, doesn't get bored, isn't impulsive or unpredictable, etc. Guys who aren't this way stress me out and overstimulate me. I have never felt bored since I was a child; I don't need a guy to keep my life e…
/r/seduction11/04/12 04:31 PM
16

I don't know what people mean when they say "alpha male", but I'm an introverted girl who strongly prefers introverted guys to extraverted guys. An extraverted guy just isn't going to get very far with me no matter how "alpha" he is. We're too different. Now, an introverted person can be a leader and be well liked and well respected. You do not have to always try to take charge in order for people to look up to you when a hard decision needs to be made. My boyfriend and I are both introverted, f…
/r/seduction09/04/12 05:28 PM
2

Totally. And it doesn't even make sense; it's not like he's any threat to them, like he's chasing their girls or insulting them or something. The person who does it the most consistently is the husband of one of his family members! My boyfriend's obviously not going to steal this guy's wife from him or something, and I'm obviously not up for grabs, either. They work in completely unrelated fields, have different personalities, have different skills, etc., so there's no reason for them to be comp…
/r/seduction05/04/12 08:14 PM
3

I'm particularly poor at picking up on social cues. Even when girls act this way toward me, I tend to take it at face value (probably stepping into all kinds of social landmines!) until someone later points out to me how catty they were being. I'm fairly insensitive to criticism, which is good and bad. Sometimes I pick up on it when a guy is trying to undermine my boyfriend, but often I don't. I've gotten better at noticing due to hearing him vent about it, and occasionally I even notice it when…
/r/seduction05/04/12 07:21 PM
10

I'm a girl, and when I hear guys talk like this, they strike me as boring (I mean no offense, but business? Why would he bring that up on something as awesome as a backpacking trip?), nosey, and insecure. Guys do this to my boyfriend all the freaking time. It drives him batty because he's naturally non-confrontational and passive. So when guys ask him all these needling questions, like asking personal questions about his work, he ducks out of the conversation by saying something like, "Ah, yeah,…
/r/seduction05/04/12 06:52 PM
2

The line isn't all that thin. The problem is that the line is in different places for different people, but you don't know where until you get to know them. That's what makes it challenging. I think something important to keep in mind is that you can't appeal to all women; we have too many contradictory tastes. So, instead, try to focus on the subset of women you do appeal to, and don't sweat the ones who get turned off. Blahm3's advice probably works excellently with dominant, self-assured wome…
/r/seduction30/03/12 06:03 PM
1

I'd suggest going for brief eye contact until you get an idea of what the girl is comfortable with. If she meets your eyes often, she's more comfortable with it and you can ramp it up a bit. If she's more inclined to glance away, she's probably intimidated or overstimulated, so tone it down a bit. In a conversation, you can make more eye contact; it feels much more natural to make eye contact when you're actively communicating to each other. Also, smiling while you look into someone's eyes will …
/r/seduction30/03/12 04:29 PM
2

Be careful with this. Many women, like me, hate feeling intimidated. I have a naturally passive, submissive personality—so when guys try to actively dominate me, it's just too much and I avoid them.
/r/seduction30/03/12 04:20 PM
4

Please don't mar the reputation of this community.
/r/MensRights29/03/12 05:25 PM
1

Isn't this the whole point of this community? To learn how to do this? I do have success in dating now. It has taken me a lot of experience and introspection to learn how to get what I want out of dating. But standard dating advice just doesn't work for me. There are other methods that do. That was not the focus of my comment, though, so I didn't go into that. I was commenting on this article for the sake of helpfulness. If someone reading this is a shy guy, it may help him to know that there ar…
/r/seduction12/03/12 12:27 AM
3

I think this is really important: Women often complain that they only get approached by men they would never be interested in, like pervy older guys at the grocery store, or cocky meatheads at the bar who are obviously just looking for sex. This is a particular problem for shy women who are into guys who are more quirky or sensitive or intellectual, since those types of men typically tend not to be as aggressive about approaching people. I'm shy, passive, and introverted. I get irrationally nerv…
/r/seduction11/03/12 04:03 AM
17

In my opinion, this isn't a bad thing. It draws attention to you—the perfect opportunity to introduce yourself while everyone's looking.
/r/seduction10/03/12 04:19 PM
27

When testing the hormones on men, the organization’s representatives said it hasn’t been difficult to recruit volunteers... I bet not!
/r/MensRights10/03/12 04:11 PM
1

I agree. It is my personal experience that when I have nothing to lose—i.e., I'm not needy and I'm not looking to get anything from other people—other people seem to find me more captivating. For this reason, I seem to garner a lot more romantic attention when I'm already in a relationship or otherwise not looking. But I also make more platonic friends this way.
/r/seduction10/03/12 04:11 AM
15

I think this is a good point. I have a generally laidback, passive personality, and I've ended up getting dragged into a lot of things I'm not actually that interested in. If you don't give me a choice, I can't easily back out, so you may mislead yourself into thinking I share your enthusiasm when, actually, we're both just wasting our time. But, more importantly, you can ruin your chances with me by doing this. I get bored when someone calls all the shots; it happens all the time, and it's just…
/r/seduction08/03/12 10:35 PM
2

The gist of this is good. Some of the details won't work with every girl, though. For example... Never explain yourself. Apologize ONLY when needed. If you do something that hurts me and you don't have a good explanation for it (or, worse, you refuse to discuss it at all), I'm going to lose interest fast. I have very little patience for people who exhibit poor communication skills. If there's a problem, we can either talk like adults or we won't talk at all and I'll be on my way. As for when apo…
/r/seduction08/03/12 10:13 PM
19

And daughters in particular have lower self-esteem, higher teen pregnancy rates, difficulty trusting men, and other myriad problems when they don't have fathers. When I was a girl scout, the organization put a lot of emphasis on "father-daughter" (or big brother, uncle, etc., if a father wasn't available) activities. They thought it was important for girls to have a strong relationship with a father figure and to have male role models in addition to their female role models. I am really grateful…
/r/MensRights08/03/12 04:36 PM
1

That's fair enough. I agree. All hospital costs related to the pregnancy should also go to whomever wants the baby (split evenly if they both do). Of course, this is a moot point in countries with universal healthcare (a system which I personally favor very strongly).
/r/MensRights08/03/12 04:21 PM
63

I like this. As a girl, this describes how I like to be approached by men, too. I really dislike pushiness; I have a passive personality, so I'm really sensitive about being treated like a doormat. I like feeling wanted and like I brighten someone life without even trying. I like a tone that gives more of an "I like you; let's see what happens" vibe and less of a "you should like me; this is the timeline we'll be proceeding on" vibe. It's less pressure and more fun this way.
/r/seduction07/03/12 06:04 AM
8

Another way of looking at this: A successful man is a man who finds a woman who doesn't want or need much (thereby he makes more than she can/will spend). A successful woman is a woman who doesn't want for much (thereby her man will make more than she can/will spend). Seems fair enough, especially if we strike the genders altogether: a successful person is one who is satisfied in life and who surrounds himself/herself with people who are satisfied in life. The less you need, the happier you are.
/r/MensRights07/03/12 05:18 AM
1

I agree, but sometimes people get attacked for expressing this opinion. I feel I have to make it clear that finding a feature attractive is not the same as thinking it's superior. (For example, I have a thing for redheads, but I don't think redheads are better than guys with other hair colors! Note that I am hypocritical here, though, since I'm a brunette myself.) I think this might actually be another double standard, though. I have personally never been attacked for preferring less experienced…
/r/MensRights06/03/12 10:30 PM
12

I'm in favor of allowing men to give up all paternal rights and responsibilities to their biological child within a certain time frame. (This time frame must be small enough that the woman can still get an abortion if the man opts out of fatherhood on the final day.) If the biological father is not known or can't be contacted, he automatically loses paternal rights and responsibilities. (In special cases, perhaps a judge can later re-award paternal rights and responsibilities if the father wants…
/r/MensRights06/03/12 09:52 PM
2

I agree, and I really dislike it. I have no moral issue with anyone who uses their sexuality as they choose. But I am personally not attracted to men who have casual sex. Casual sex is great, and everyone is welcome to it—but I hate seeing men who (like me) aren't interested in that kind of thing but who (unlike me) get pressured into it anyway. It's extremely unfair.
/r/MensRights05/03/12 03:40 PM
1

Perhaps the most obvious example is the Female Privilege Checklist, modeled after the foul Male Privilege Checklist. Although I'm sure that the original Female Privilege Checklist was meant to be a joke (and a fair enough one!), it has garnered a lot more attention and belief than it deserves. When I mention the men's rights movement to some of my friends, this is the kind of thing they think I'm talking about. It's not. What I'm talking about are real issues that particularly affect men and/or …
/r/MensRights05/03/12 03:29 PM
7

I have noticed a pretty big split in the community. There's the one group that seems to prefer we go back to an age where women are caretakers and men are breadwinners. Then there's the other group that prefers we stop stereotyping people and recognize that men make great caretakers, too, just as women make great breadwinners. I'm surprised these two groups fly the same banner. They're about as diametrically opposed as two groups can be.
/r/MensRights04/03/12 07:27 PM
3

Perhaps that's true, but when you generalize one group of people, you tend to promote generalizations in general (no pun intended). If you generalize women as meek victims, you end up pushing men into the complementary corner. This is bad for men. It's also bad for women at times. For example, I was wrongfully seized by the state and put in a series of abusive foster homes because my dad was wrongfully accused of abusing me. I am fairly certain this wouldn't have happened if he were female ("Men…
/r/MensRights04/03/12 06:55 PM
39

Most everyone I know rolls their eyes at what passes for feminism these days. Unfortunately, a lot of those same people roll their eyes at the men's right's movement—seeing it as a parody of feminism. I'd like to change that, but it's hard when certain outspoken MRA's mimic dumb feminist arguments. There are very strong arguments for so many aspects of the men's rights movement (family court, circumcisions, etc.). Why water down solid reasoning with fallacies? The primary reason feminist activis…
/r/MensRights04/03/12 06:38 PM
8

I agree with the men's rights movement (especially in relation to father's rights, helping boys in school, and so on), but I do take issue with generalizations. It's bad when men are generalized; it causes people to distrust men automatically, in a way that ultimately hurts good guys in the courtroom and elsewhere. It's also bad when women are generalized. Generalizations are harmful when they're applied to people for whom they don't actually hold water. Do you dismiss my opinions on the grounds…
/r/MensRights04/03/12 06:25 PM
7

This is the original study. The results are statistically significant (P < 0.5). Small sample sizes are less likely to give you statistically significant results, but that doesn't mean they are incapable of giving you statistically significant results. It has to do with how pronounced the differences are. If there is a strong difference, the mathematical tests do not require as much data to get meaningful results. The only reason scientists attempt to get very large sample sizes is because they …
/r/seduction28/02/12 10:38 PM
0

Doing DIY repair work, mending clothes, etc. can also eat up a lot of time. Also, many homemakers keep a vegetable garden to save money. There is a reason wealthy people hire maids, gardeners, and handymen.
/r/MensRights10/02/12 06:23 PM
1

I would raise an eyebrow if my boyfriend ever bought me an item from any shop that made tacky, offensive ads like this—especially if it was a gift meant to be serious and meaningful, like an engagement ring.
/r/MensRights10/02/12 04:33 PM
68

Wow, this sure makes Zachary's look like a classy place.
/r/MensRights09/02/12 06:52 PM
1

Maybe the women you date.
/r/MensRights01/02/12 05:59 PM
1

Yeah, could be. I'm not the kind of person to walk out or hang up unless I really mean it—so once I've reached that point, my mind is made up and I'm not interested in hearing counterarguments. This has only ever happened in one of my relationships, which ended four years ago.
/r/MensRights31/01/12 11:17 PM
1

If you enter fight mode and punch him, then I dare say you'd rather he not hug you. If he's "hugging" you in order to restrain you and protect himself, it's fully understandable. But if he's doing it to appease you and win your heart back, he's manipulative and co-dependent. A more sensible man would split.
/r/MensRights31/01/12 10:37 PM
9

I'd definitely shop around. Circumcision is irreversible, so you should look into less dramatic solutions first. You can always try circumcision later if the other options don't work out. A physician who's not willing to work with you does not deserve your business.
/r/MensRights31/01/12 10:09 PM
8

Having someone follow you when you walk out or call you when you hang up is not a desirable trait. I had a boyfriend who did this. It was bad. I could not break up with him because he'd stalk me and harass me when I tried. If I walk out on you or hang up on you, it's because I want you to leave me alone.
/r/MensRights31/01/12 10:05 PM
25

My dog would not call me back if I hung up on him.
/r/MensRights31/01/12 10:03 PM
3

I had a boyfriend who did 1 and 2, and 10 to a suicidal degree. He was emotionally (and later physically) abusive. When I tried to break up with him, he would not let me go. He would not take no for an answer. Non-abusers let you go when you walk away. They take you at your word. They do not attempt to manipulate you. Whoever wrote this list is a broken individual—probably from an abusive home, where she normalized and adopted abusive habits. Numbers 6 and 9 are a particularly indicative of how …
/r/MensRights31/01/12 10:00 PM
2

I find them easier to eat if you have a lot of toppings. If you have just a few toppings, pizza is better.
/r/seduction30/01/12 09:30 PM
7

I don't care much for the mentality of girls who do, either. As the saying goes, if you're not paying for the product, you are the product.
/r/MensRights30/01/12 09:01 PM
16

My boyfriend says he likes bars that offer ladies nights because it's an easy way to pick out which bars to avoid.
/r/MensRights30/01/12 06:26 PM
2

Take the advice here with a grain of salt. Adopt what will help you and reject the rest. Just so you know, this is not one-size-fits-all. I'm a straight woman, and I see a lot of advice here that works on me (get hobbies, get some self-esteem, don't smother me, etc.) and I see a lot of advice here that makes me roll my eyes when I see it in the wild (showing attraction to other women, negging, making too many jokes, etc.). Women are different, and different actions appeal to them. Think about th…
/r/seduction17/01/12 04:59 PM
2

It depends on whose interest you're trying to grab. If you're trying to grab my interest, for example, forget about learning how to carry smalltalk. That will bore me out of my skull. Instead, get passionate and introspective about something. It could be anything—music, programming, badminton, tree identification, etc.—and I'll be sucked in if it's something you really care about and consistently work toward improving your understanding of. Engage me in an intellectual discussion on the subject …
/r/seduction17/01/12 04:45 PM
1

I hear some women complain all the time—making men out to be male chauvinists for holding open the door or picking up the tab. I much prefer the women who appreciate kind acts without expecting them.
/r/MensRights16/01/12 09:59 PM
1

It's also worth noting that aggression (or fear, etc.) may heighten one's testosterone. Since testosterone is linked to increased muscle mass and so on, there is a good reason for the body to respond to ongoing exposure to danger and conflict by boosting the body's physical abilities.
/r/MensRights12/01/12 07:05 PM
1

Wow, that's interesting. There's seems to be a bit of disagreement in the scientific community, then; many other studies do show a correlation between testosterone and aggression (though it's worth noting that correlation does not necessarily mean causation). Thanks for the links.
/r/MensRights12/01/12 06:26 PM
25

Banning masturbation. Just what we need. A build-up of testosterone in our most dangerous offenders in prison, so they're even more likely to start fights and rape the non-violent offenders.
/r/MensRights11/01/12 05:27 PM
5

I don't like guys who are caught up in proving their dominance. Those guys don't come across as confident at all; they just strike me as insecure (and obnoxious to boot). You don't develop a confident air out of trying to dominate other people. You develop a confident air out of not worrying about other people's judgments. If I give my boyfriend a blowjob, is he giving up control to me? Absolutely. I am totally in charge. Everything he feels is because I made him feel it. If he moans, it's becau…
/r/seduction10/01/12 10:56 PM
8

What the hell? Also, I love how the pharmacist's argument implies that rape victims shouldn't have access to emergency contraception.
/r/MensRights07/01/12 11:27 PM
3

This research meshes with my experiences dating guys. I've generally found men to be very loving and not so sex-driven (or, at least, compared to my own high libido—alas).
/r/MensRights01/01/12 12:52 AM
1

I think you misinterpreted the sentence you just quoted. He said a lot of women make better prison guards—not that women in general do. It has to do with an individual person's strength of character, which is not linked to genitals.
/r/MensRights24/12/11 09:03 PM
3

I'm an introverted (not shy, at least not usually) girl, and I have a strong preference for introverted guys. Being an introvert has disadvantages. Like you say, you end up meeting fewer people. But it also has its advantages; introverts tend to be very productive and skilled because they have plenty of time alone to self-improve. Also, introverts tend to forge unbreakable bonds with each other. Once I develop feelings for you, you have to really fuck up before I'll change my mind. And an introv…
/r/seduction22/12/11 08:39 PM
7

I would be much less attracted to my boyfriend if all his friends were pretty girls. The fact that his social life represents other guys, not-so-pretty girls, older men and women, etc. raises his worth in my eyes. He comes across as very genuine and likable. He has a higher social status for being able to win the respect of many kinds of people, even those he has no particular stake in trying to impress. If you only approach people you're interested in dating, it makes you seem shallow, desperat…
/r/seduction22/12/11 03:28 AM
3

My experience with circumcised penises is that they have a kind of thick, leathery skin on the glans. It's a bit like the calluses on the feet, but kind of rubbery. It is dry and relatively numb; you can stimulate them directly, and pretty roughly (and, indeed, you usually have to). Lube is basically a necessity to avoid chafing (natural lubrication helps, but a circumcised penis tends to expose it to the air and make it dry out too quickly), but it's also not ideal because a circumcised penis n…
/r/MensRights14/12/11 10:05 PM
3

I have to say, having my inner labias removed—or even worse, my clitoral hood (the equivalent of a foreskin)—would kill my sex life. They pad and protect my most sensitive bits, which keeps them from getting chafed or numbed. I masturbate by rolling my hood over my clit, which mimics the way my uncircumcised boyfriend masturbates. I can't get off any other way, and nor can he. I can totally understand why infant female circumcision—even relatively mild forms of it, which have no intention of red…
/r/MensRights14/12/11 09:50 PM
2

It is really weird. I'm American and my first boyfriend was American. I told him in passing that if I ever had a son, I would let him grow up and then decide whether or not to get circumcised, and my boyfriend was horrified! That's absolutely disgusting, he said, and he would never let his son grow up with a foreskin. He was very belligerent about it. What is up with that? Anyway, I'm with an uncircumcised Australian now. I cannot figure out why people are grossed out by foreskins. I find uncirc…
/r/MensRights14/12/11 09:40 PM
1

I completely understand this. It's something I try to communicate, but I always worry that it will be taken the wrong way ("It's not you; it's me" bullshit). I'm a polite person with submissive/passive tendencies, so people often assume that when I say something nice, I'm just trying to be polite—not necessarily trying to be directly truthful. For this reason, I make a special point not to tell white lies; I think they are as damaging as major lies (perhaps not on a lie-by-lie basis, but in term…
/r/seduction12/12/11 05:08 PM
1

Oh, absolutely. I try to be as quick as possible with rejecting; the more time that goes on, the more discouraging the rejection will be in the end. I just really hate that I have to discourage him at all.
/r/seduction12/12/11 05:00 PM
1

I've done online dating. Most messages were poorly constructed and misspelled, and they usually came from men who had nothing in common with me. There were a few jewels in my mailbox, and I followed up on these. I liked online dating because it was less stressful. I could message more guys and have deeper conversations without feeling drained. It made me less picky. It also made dating more to the point—less roundabout and mind-gamey—because we both knew why we were there and we both already kne…
/r/seduction09/12/11 07:10 PM
40

I hate rejecting guys because I always worry that it will demotivate them. There are a thousand reasons why I may not want to carry things further with you, but none of them are that you approached me; that's exactly the right thing to do. How could you have known I have a boyfriend/I'm not feeling well/I'm attracted to a different kind of person/my dad's standing right over there/my friend already called dibs on you/etc.?
/r/seduction09/12/11 06:45 PM
9

I personally like my boyfriend to occasionally say no to me—not because I'm used to having guys cater to my every whim (I'm not), but because it makes him seem forthright. It means that when he does do me a favor, I don't feel guilty for burdening him; he wouldn't have agreed to the favor in the first place if he felt burdened by it. It also frees me up to guiltlessly say no to him, too. Honest, open communication makes my life easier, and I appreciate guys (and, really, everyone) who employs it…
/r/seduction08/12/11 10:50 PM
1

I don't like very uneven competitions because they're predictable and boring. It's lame when you always win, even lamer when you always lose. If the game is approached more as a learning experience (e.g., you're going to teach me how to bowl—which, by the way, is a good excuse to get close to me and touch me), then I'll have more fun.
/r/seduction06/12/11 05:21 PM
1

I personally don't like physical competitions with a guy I want to impress (it reminds me too much of getting teased in P.E. when I was a kid), but I absolutely love competitive boardgames, videogames, etc., as long as we're fairly evenly matched. I especially like the card game Dominion because the strategy changes every time you play, so even a very experienced player can feel like a new player.
/r/seduction05/12/11 08:05 PM
1

Can you give an example or two of the problem you're having?
/r/seduction05/12/11 05:50 PM
2

Not quite, because I'd feel rushed in that instance. But if a guy likes me, I'd like him to just say so. If he wants to go on a date, he should make sure to say the word "date" when he asks me. If he wants to have sex, he should mention it and we can talk about birth control, etc. I don't like jumping too far into things with someone I barely know, though. It's mentally and emotionally draining for someone as introverted as I am.
/r/seduction05/12/11 05:30 PM
3

I think this is a good breakdown, personally; it meshes with what I've observed.
/r/seduction04/12/11 09:22 PM
1

Personally, I prefer directness. It's a rare quality that turns my head. It also opens the door for me to speak directly, which I strongly prefer. But it's important to note that being direct is not the same as rushing. I'm an introvert, so I hate feeling pushed into socializing even more than I hate beat-around-the-bush small talk. I am not representative of all women. Some tactics will work better on me than usual, while other tactics will fail utterly. Most of the advice in this community app…
/r/seduction04/12/11 09:20 PM
2

I'm female and I read this board. When I make comments, though, I don't usually point out my gender, so I'm often assumed to be male.
/r/seduction04/12/11 09:12 PM
9

As a general rule, I find a man acting in a fatherly way to be noticeably more attractive than usual (e.g., taking care of an animal or a child that he obviously cares a great deal about; the more helpless the creature, the more protective and alluring he seems). I assume this is related to some sort of biological reproductive instinct on my part.
/r/seduction18/11/11 09:28 PM
1

I'd argue that this community exists because people care how they're perceived. Perhaps some people care too much and they come here to find self-confidence, or maybe they just need tips to improve their charisma and awareness around the opposite sex, but (virtually) no one here is completely disinterested in how they're viewed.
/r/seduction17/11/11 05:39 AM
2

If you have a tendency to wonder if you're being creepy, you're probably not creepy. At least in my experience as a girl, virtually all of the guys who come across as creepy are guys who genuinely do not care how other people perceive them. Guys who fear they may be creepy overcorrect for the behavior and err on the other side, by failing to show enough attraction—which sucks, because those are the guys I, at least, tend to be attracted to.
/r/seduction17/11/11 12:47 AM
2

Maybe you just aren't into super talkative girls? I know I can't stand more than 5-10 minutes with talkative guys. A little silence is intimate and rejuvenating.
/r/seduction16/11/11 03:11 PM
1

It becomes apparent. If you have an annoying habit and everyone politely looks away when you do it, you'll figure it out. The great thing about positive reinforcement training, though, is that you don't have to figure it out to fix it. You'll naturally replace behaviors that get you ignored with behaviors that get you rewards and attention.
/r/seduction15/11/11 04:50 AM
2

It works on animals and children, too. Professional trainers use positive reinforcement techniques, and child specialists recommend it for teaching children to use the toilet, etc. It reduces anxiety and encourages learning. I think, to some degree, we have a natural instinct to use it with each other. People all over commonly praise one another, but they generally feel less comfortable criticizing one another. I've been in relationships where my S.O. has used positive reinforcement techniques o…
/r/seduction15/11/11 04:26 AM
2

I've often heard this view expressed in terms of positive reinforcement: reward good behavior, ignore bad behavior. It's the most effective method to effecting longterm behavioral changes.
/r/seduction15/11/11 04:15 AM
1

Thank goodness for running jokes.
/r/seduction15/11/11 03:38 AM
1

Hehe, I prefer to keep potentially identifying information vague; my particular field is quite a bit smaller than, say, biology or physics.
/r/seduction13/11/11 08:08 PM
2

Can you give us a concrete example or two?
/r/seduction13/11/11 03:16 AM
1

Science.
/r/seduction13/11/11 03:15 AM
6

Well, tastes vary wildly between women—but I like easygoing, intellectual, introverted guys who are in a normal weight range, who have optimistic personalities, who are generally well-liked by other people, who have pleasing faces, and who share my interests, humor, and goals to an abnormal degree.
/r/seduction13/11/11 02:55 AM
14

I can't date everybody. All of my male friends are good guys; if being a good guy were enough by itself, I'd be crushing constantly on all my male friends and I'd be absolutely miserable. So instead, I pursue just a subset of them. You can't just be a good guy. You have to stand out from the competition, I'd afraid.
/r/seduction13/11/11 02:37 AM
32

If this mean my boyfriend objectifies me, then I'm glad he does. It must be shitty to be in a relationship with someone who doesn't like what you are.
/r/MensRights13/11/11 12:19 AM
2

This is a really important point. The SAT score gap could very well be an indicator that boys aren't doing as well in school and need more encouragement or boy-oriented teaching styles.
/r/MensRights12/11/11 11:26 PM
2

I think this is an important point to keep in mind. I went to a public school in a very poor neighborhood where most people don't speak English. Sailed right through with straight A's. Then I got to college, got into a rigorous science program, and...still made A's. Most of my peers were from much wealthier schools or were homeschooled or were privately schooled; they also had higher SAT scores than I did, since I didn't get to take any SAT prep classes and was otherwise pretty underprepared. Th…
/r/MensRights12/11/11 11:14 PM
1

In my experience, the more a guy worries about creeping girls out or coming across as desperate, the more he overcorrects for the problem and fails to reach out enough. I try to tell them if that you have enough self-awareness to care how you come across to other people, you already aren't a creep—so stop worrying about that and instead focus on your actual areas of weakness.
/r/seduction12/11/11 02:01 AM
3

I agree with Annamal. I don't mind when guys hit on me and I generally think it's a good strategy to hit on a lot of women, even if you're doubtful you'll get any bites. The strategy doesn't work so well on me (there are other strategies that do), but it does work on a lot of women out there, and you can't tell us apart just by looking. But I do get the impression from certain men that they won't take no for an answer. If I turn them down, they keep trying. Sometimes they even get pissed! This i…
/r/seduction11/11/11 08:19 PM
5

Well, I for one would like to have a child who is biologically related to me but for whom I also don't have to undergo any kind of physical difficulty, like labor or egg extraction. It would be nice to have the option to effectively father a child rather than mother it. For me, that is a privilege that (fertile) men have over me. But I've met men who say they wish they could undergo pregnancy. They are jealous that women can carry their child inside them and bond closely with it before it's even…
/r/MensRights08/11/11 06:28 PM
4

There is a natural human tendency to pair up, and I suspect some people are naturally more inclined that way than others.
/r/seduction04/11/11 05:10 PM
0

I don't know. Female supervillains are often more sexualized than their superhero counterparts. I think people in general find risk and danger exciting, and that excitement sometimes gets associated with other forms of excitement. That being said, a lot of men are totally turned off by "bad girls" and always have been, just as a lot of women (including myself) are totally turned off by "bad boys" and always have been.
/r/MensRights07/10/11 05:00 PM
2

I told them that each of them was a writer. They didn't have to be successful - not by society's standards, at least - and they didn't have to make money. That is not what a writer is. A writer is someone who writes... Hehe, I like this. My boyfriend is a programmer, and when I started learning how to program—"Hello World" level stuff—he began calling me a programmer (e.g., "Since you're a programmer now, I bet you'll love this joke"...). I thought it was silly and even embarrassing at first, bu…
/r/seduction07/10/11 04:46 PM
5

I'm female, so maybe more like...siblinghood?
/r/MensRights07/10/11 04:37 PM
8

In my experience, a man who doesn't care if other people think he's manly enough is plenty manly.
/r/MensRights05/10/11 08:33 PM
9

I see these phrases a lot even here in this subreddit. It's disturbing. Every man is a man, no matter how he acts or what he believes.
/r/MensRights05/10/11 04:46 PM
1

I agree with you in spirit—and, for these reasons, it bothers me that making attempts to protect oneself from imprisonment, even if you're innocent, carry a sentence all themselves. I can understand the purpose of resisting arrest laws and so on, but they're imperfect solutions; arrest is terrifying and any sensible person would resist it under normal circumstances. I don't think it would be wise to charge people with crimes they didn't do, however. That's pretty risky, and I would not trust any…
/r/MensRights04/10/11 03:50 PM
1

Well, that's broken.
/r/MensRights03/10/11 10:31 PM
14

Can anyone explain to me why the woman wouldn't receive the same punishment as the man if he was convicted of the "crimes" if it was proven beyond a shadow of the doubt that she lied? Because that sentence is for rapists, not for liars. There are already laws against defamation, and she should be tried under those. Once you set a precedence for sentencing people for crimes they didn't commit, you open up a whole can of worms that really, really should stay closed.
/r/MensRights03/10/11 04:27 PM
1

Reasons guys have broken up with me: Nothing changed, but he just wasn't feeling the chemistry anymore. (This was a mutual break-up.) We fought too much. He thought I didn't love him anymore. Reasons I've broken up with guys: Nothing changed, but I just wasn't feeling the chemistry anymore. (The aforesaid mutual break-up.) We fought too much. He lied to me. Reasons relationships I was in almost ended: We were moving away from each other for school. We were from different countries and having tro…
/r/seduction29/09/11 07:58 PM
1

If that is truly their goal, they are making an error. It does not endear me to someone when they tell me how awful men are. Don't talk about my dad, my boyfriend, or my friends like that—especially when you've never even met them!
/r/MensRights28/09/11 07:57 PM
5

Those women drive me crazy. I have a lot of men in my life I care deeply about; it's hard not to feel insulted when someone badmouths someone you love like that, even if they don't necessarily mean those specific men. When I complain about someone's ill behavior, I try to make a point of only complaining about that specific person—no one else.
/r/MensRights28/09/11 05:34 PM
4

It does bug me when some guy harasses me on the street, and a few of my male friends become apologetic and complain about men when they hear about it. It feels to me like they're trying to deflect any blame for what happened—as if they expect me to be the kind of person to blame a whole group of people for what one person did. It's very awkward. It makes me feel somewhat insulted, and somewhat like I have to reassure them that, no, I'm not mad at them. It's so weird. Not all feminist men are thi…
/r/MensRights28/09/11 04:29 PM
1

No one did anything to me.
/r/MensRights28/09/11 04:20 PM
2

Yeah, fortunately they weren't able to convict in this case, either. The only "evidence" was what I said. Still, it was enough for someone to go to jail and me to be held in custody for months.
/r/MensRights28/09/11 04:18 PM
7

I was questioned when I was a child. The interrogation techniques they used against me (even though I was the supposed crime victim) led me to falsely claim someone committed a crime against me. The truth is, no crime actually occurred and I knew it didn't—but the interrogation nonetheless led me to make a false witness testimony that I never intended to make and that I never once believed actually happened. Those interrogating me were convinced this thing had happened to me. They thought I was …
/r/MensRights27/09/11 06:17 PM
2

Could that be because crack cocaine is riskier to possess than powder cocaine, so people who take the greater risk and go with crack cocaine are a less sane bunch (even if crack cocaine and powder cocaine, themselves, are the same)? That is, if crack cocaine and powder cocaine weren't treated differently under the law, saner cocaine-users would be just as likely to use crack as they are to use powder.
/r/MensRights27/09/11 06:07 PM
1

I'm sure some people are. But not everyone who claims to be an expert is an expert. I expect sound evidence, not hearsay.
/r/seduction22/09/11 12:03 AM
1

I'll bet you 500 bucks right now that if I met you in person, I'd at least be able to make out with you. At the very least. Haha, I'd take you up on this bet—assuming you won't use any force or trickery (e.g., sneaking a kiss) and then claiming that we made out. This conversation's over. Give up? I knew you wouldn't be swayed—publicly, anyway—but I do hope you'll take this as a lesson to employ some critical thinking next time and avoid lying to people who are in this subreddit looking for legit…
/r/seduction20/09/11 09:42 PM
1

I agree with the overall findings- girls looking for sex are more open to assertiveness. Those were not the overall findings. Please re-read the article, or at least re-read this comment thread. Prove me wrong. I don't have to prove you wrong. You're claiming that women are all a certain way, and the only "proof" you've offered me is that you say you've slept with 200 women and those those 200 women are miraculously representative of all women everywhere. The onus is on you here. I'm not trying …
/r/seduction20/09/11 09:34 PM
1

I'm sorry, but 200 girls is enough to form a representative sample. 200? Are you serious? I would like to see what kind of statistical conclusions you can come to from such a small sample if it's as varied as you claim. And if you think all those girls were already attracted to me, you're so, so ignorant. I did not claim they were always attracted to you—only that they had to be attracted to you to fall into your sample. Women who aren't attracted to you (like me) won't fall into your sample. Yo…
/r/seduction20/09/11 09:27 PM
0

I have not claimed to support the study. However, based on your comments, you do: In other news, bears shit in the woods and 2 + 2 = 4. Granted, that was before you read it. I don't know which is less rational: blindly believing an article you haven't even read because you agree with the findings, or insisting your anecdotal evidence is more scientifically sound than a research paper because you disagree with the findings. It's OK to be skeptical, but do it for the right reasons and apply your s…
/r/seduction20/09/11 09:23 PM
2

I'm not gonna tell you how many women I've been with. But if I haven't been with a "representative" sample, nobody has. "Representative" does not mean "a lot". You can't have a representative sample. The only women who will be in your sample are women who are attracted to you. Women who aren't attracted to you won't be in your sample. For example, I would not be attracted to you because I don't find your reasoning to be scientifically sound. Intellectual honesty and rationality are extremely imp…
/r/seduction20/09/11 09:07 PM
0

That applies to all women. No it doesn't. The article specifically states which women it applies to. Re-read the part you quoted. The article is biased from the start and basing its findings off of fuckin surveys. Surveys are a flawed method of research. I agree with you there. We should take this research with a grain of salt. That being said, on what basis can you possibly claim you know the minds of all women everywhere better than these scientists do?
/r/seduction20/09/11 08:50 PM
2

I haven't looked at the research... Then why on earth did you provide a false TL;DR? The commenter wasn't asking for your opinion. He was asking for a summary of this study. My anecdotal experience is actual experience That's true. But the problem with anecdotal evidence is that it falls under sampling bias. For example, a girl with enormous breasts might conclude that all men prefer enormous breasts. But that's not true. She's under that false impression because all the men she dates happen to …
/r/seduction20/09/11 08:45 PM
2

That may be your anecdotal experience, but it is not the results of this research and thus your TL;DR does not apply.
/r/seduction20/09/11 08:25 PM
2

Actually, it specifically states that it refers to women who "harbour more sexist attitudes and have unrestricted sociosexuality (the degree to which individuals require closeness and commitment prior to engaging in sex)". That's not "girls in general". It's girls looking for casual sex and girls who are sexist (including both those who view women as lesser than men and those who think men should treat women in a particularly chivalrous manner). These results appear to not apply to girls who are…
/r/seduction20/09/11 08:17 PM
1

Results confirmed the researchers’ prediction that males and females who both harbour more sexist attitudes and have unrestricted sociosexuality (the degree to which individuals require closeness and commitment prior to engaging in sex), were more likely to report use and reciprocation to assertive courtship strategies.
/r/seduction20/09/11 08:11 PM
1

On women looking for casual sex—not necessarily on women looking for relationships.
/r/seduction20/09/11 08:10 PM
10

I have a hypothesis that very pretty girls are more sensitive about their appearance than other girls are, because they've been told their whole lives how pretty they are and have come to rely on their looks as their wellspring of self-esteem. When I was growing up, I was always told how smart I was. I can take a few insults to my looks and feel no different about myself, but comments about my intelligence can throw me into self-doubt. A lot of people here are saying you never neg someone's appe…
/r/seduction19/09/11 04:23 PM
1

Children who are desperate to get away should have a place to go without being carted back home by the police. I'm not entirely against re-opening orphanages or children's homes.
/r/MensRights16/09/11 08:03 PM
1

They do get it right on occasion. Probably more often than not, I'd guess. But here's the thing. Even when they successfully rescue a child who needed rescuing, what do they do? Throw them into foster care, where abuse is common. Even homes where no abuse takes place are far from perfect; the child and caretakers are strangers and have no deep love for one another, and the child's life is necessarily unstable as they're seized from everything they know and shuffled around the system every few mo…
/r/MensRights16/09/11 06:39 PM
2

My dad is my role model. He is very bright without arrogance. He is honest and open-minded to all points of view presented to him, regardless of the messenger. He is soft-spoken, responsible, introverted, exceptionally slow to anger, self-sacrificing, and more loving than just about anyone I've ever encountered; he's the kind of person who'll drive two hours out in the middle of the night to deliver me a crutch because I sprained my ankle and can't drive myself and then he'll go home to bed and …
/r/MensRights15/09/11 05:22 PM
15

My closest childhood friend was raped by another female. It went to court, but the jurors had never heard of such a thing and our antiquated state law does not recognize female perpetrators of rape; the law is worded in such a way that you must have a penis with which to penetrate. Even though my friend was underage and the rapist was 18, and even though the event was demonstrably forced, and even though my friend was physically injured (both by the act of being threatened and forced, and by the…
/r/MensRights14/09/11 08:14 PM
3

In assessing men, I definitely look at how they interact with all kinds of different people. I'm not interested in men who play it up around me; I'm interested in men I perceive as frank and honest, and who make me feel more like a person than a trophy.
/r/seduction14/09/11 06:53 PM
9

How much do you tease and joke around? My boyfriend is super affectionate with me (more than I am with him; he just has a more social nature than I do), but we also tease each other and mess around with each other in a huge proportion of our interactions. For example, I'll sneak up on him while he's doing the dishes and kick him in the butt, or we'll be having a nice little kiss and he suddenly blows into my mouth and runs away before I can get him back. Even though it's all in jest, a little pr…
/r/seduction03/09/11 05:24 AM
1

I think you risk two unintentional outcomes with negging. One is that you can (pretty easily) hurt or scare the woman out of being interested in you. Why bother pursuing a guy who, by all indications, doesn't seem to be much into you? It's a lot easier to simply give up and turn your attentions to another, more promising prospect. The other is that she's not hurt or scared at all—because she knows exactly what you're doing. I used to be the first girl, but after learning what "negging" is, I'm n…
/r/seduction03/09/11 03:45 AM
2

What? I call my boyfriend cute all the time and I mean it. I call him sexy only when we're having sex (or when I expect we will soon) because it feels inappropriate outside that context. I would certainly never tell a guy I'm just getting to know that he's sexy; that would be way, way too forward. "Cute" suffices. It simply means I consider him attractive; it's just a more casual term for it than the somewhat clinical "attractive" or hokey "handsome". Also, when girls talk to each other about at…
/r/seduction03/09/11 03:19 AM
1

Men are simply not cute the way babies are cute. I can think of no exceptions, except maybe cartoon characters. "Cute", when used to describe a man, pretty much just means attractive (as in, "Do you think there will be any cute guys there?").
/r/seduction03/09/11 03:06 AM
3

I call my boyfriend cute all the time, and I want sex more than he does. For some of us, "cute" really does mean attractive. What else am I going to say? "Handsome"? That term's a bit dated and doesn't have the same casual, familiar tone.
/r/seduction03/09/11 02:59 AM
24

I actually know someone who won't hire women at his company because he doesn't feel comfortable yelling at them; they might cry. Needless to say, the men who work for him can't stand him. He doesn't seem to have any guilt whatsoever harassing his male employees to tears. Fuck asshole bosses, and fuck sexist bosses.
/r/MensRights03/09/11 02:14 AM
1

It depends on jurisdiction. In my (very conservative and old-fashioned) state, rape is defined in such a way that you can only rape someone if you possess a penis and use it to penetrate another person. That means, legally speaking, women can't be rapists here.
/r/MensRights24/08/11 05:52 AM
9

Personally, I think all cosmetic surgery on non-consenting or uninformed parties should be illegal. There's nothing wrong with circumcision, any more than there is with tattoos—but the person who has to live with the alteration for the rest of their lives should be the one making the choice.
/r/MensRights19/08/11 07:02 AM
3

If a guy I like is visibly nervous when he speaks to me (or even tells me he's nervous), it makes me like him all the more. I have a thing for shy guys. They come across as genuine and vulnerable and terribly, terribly cute and corruptible. But I don't have a thing for guys who seem disinterested in me.
/r/seduction16/08/11 09:49 PM
5

If you want to be included in other people's social lives, how much of an effort do you make to include them in yours? As a lifelong introvert who dreads being invited anywhere, I've found that people are a lot more likely to invite me to things if I've recently been inviting them to things. I've noticed this pattern because it is problematic for me. I generally prefer to do the inviting; it helps ensure I'm only socializing when I'm in the right head space for it. If you want to be invited to p…
/r/seduction13/08/11 05:33 AM
8

I see a "trigger warning" tag the same way I see "NSFW" or "warning: graphic" tags. In most instances, they don't affect me and I don't care. But in the few instances where I do need such tags (e.g., at work), I really, really appreciate it. Sure, sometimes they're misused, but the concept is sound—and it's better if something that doesn't need the tag is tagged, than if something that does need the tag isn't tagged—so I don't mind their overuse. Just ignore tags when/if they don't apply to you.
/r/MensRights12/08/11 10:59 PM
5

Many women and children are much bigger risk-takers than they need to be, and that may very well come from the fact that their paternal lineage passed those traits on. But we must keep in mind that a genotype is different from a phenotype. A woman may carry her father's genes for early balding or for growing a big beard, but those genes won't be expressed because her testosterone levels are too low. She can still pass these genes on to her sons (and daughters), however. Some of the genes respons…
/r/MensRights11/08/11 01:51 AM
1

Perhaps it depends on the guy delivering it. I'm 5'4 (slightly shorter than average, but much shorter than my family members; I can be a bit sensitive about it since I've been teased in the past) and my boyfriend is 6'6. He likes to joke that I'm really, really short and he's perfectly normal size. It's completely silly and I know not to take his teasing seriously. But if a guy of normal height teased me about being short, I'd probably experience a combination of feeling insulted and thinking th…
/r/seduction04/08/11 07:47 PM
1

I personally don't like learning new skills on an early date. It makes me self-conscious and weirdly competitive, like my date is testing me. In an established relationship? Great! With some I barely know? A special kind of mental torture. I do like first dates that are unusual and adventurous, though, like a day hike through a nature preserve.
/r/seduction29/07/11 09:03 PM
1

Age isn't fair, either. Driving experience is fine—you have some control over that—but you don't have any control over your age.
/r/MensRights28/07/11 05:46 AM
2

Oh, I do think these types of behaviors are built-in. Everyone I've encountered has strange little nervous tics, affectionate tics, etc. For example, I started getting an inkling that my boyfriend (before he was my boyfriend) was attracted to me when he started half-smiling at me and making peculiar little head tilts a lot while we talked. He has no recollection of ever doing anything of the sort, even though he did it all the time around me.
/r/MensRights27/07/11 03:04 PM
5

The same goes when one tries to discuss with women the "sexual signals" they give off to men they wish to be involved with. A woman will completely deny that she has any clue what men are talking about... the hair twirls, the touches, the sly comments etc., all designed to bring about the males aggressiveness so he will make the first move on her (so she maintains a cover of plausible deniability). Seriously, a lot of this is unconscious behavior. I'm a fiddly sort of person—I play with my hair,…
/r/MensRights26/07/11 10:59 PM
1

Well done then. Everyone did their part. Not quite. If those who read his comments on TwoX perceive him as representative of men's rights, he hurts men's rights.
/r/MensRights26/07/11 06:43 PM
1

Political change doesn't happen by quietly, logically, arguing a point. To an extent. Logical arguments convince a certain (usually intelligent, educated—and very important to have on your side) segment of the population, and other types of informal arguments convince other segments of the population. There's no singular solution. But, anyway, I'm not making any proposals about logical arguments here. I'm talking about emotional appeal—or, more accurately in the OP's case, emotional repulsion. H…
/r/MensRights26/07/11 05:49 PM
2

Perhaps on Reddit and a few other places because there has been an effort to promote it as an egalitarian cause—which, by the way, is what drew me in. Unfortunately, it's very easy to perceive a small movement as much larger than it really is if you surround yourself with other supporters of that movement. It's a matter of selection bias. We must be careful not to fall into the trap of believing our political enclaves are representative of what's happening out in the real world. We must actively…
/r/MensRights26/07/11 05:22 PM
2

Your views can't become the new normal if they aren't popular. That's what popular means.
/r/MensRights26/07/11 05:03 PM
3

Unfortunately, a reputation of extremism doesn't encourage people on the fence to join your side. Instead, it drives backlashes. The men's rights movement is in a bit of a crisis. It is widely regarded (if unfairly) as an anti-woman movement, which alienates most men and women. Most men and women think women are pretty OK; they don't want to support a cause that they perceive as harmful to their daughters, sister, mothers, or significant others. If the men's rights movement is to get off the gro…
/r/MensRights26/07/11 04:53 PM
4

Unfortunately, that means the views you hold and the groups you associate with (including this subreddit) will be associated with extremism rather than moderation.
/r/MensRights26/07/11 04:35 PM
1

How much do you smile around people? In my experience, a guy who smiles—especially if he gets crinkles around the eyes—looks far more approachable than a guy who rarely does. Some men have an easier time than others, I'm afraid, because their neutral faces look friendly, whereas other guys' neutral faces look severe. (I personally have a sad, far-off neutral face, so I also compensate by smiling a lot.) I'm not competitive. I'm not interested in trying to fight for a guy or win him over. If a gu…
/r/seduction25/07/11 04:28 PM
10

I strongly agree, except that you might want to ease up on this (depending on your personality): If you're initiating anything more than she is, move on. I'm quite introverted and shy and I tend to get sucked up in whatever I'm doing and forget what time it is. This means I'm bad about initiating contact—but I'm very receptive to it! If none of my boyfriends had been up for picking up my slack, we'd have never gotten a relationship off the ground. Fortunately, they've all had personalities where…
/r/seduction25/07/11 04:12 PM
1

Very much agreed. No one respects someone who pushes his own way, even when his way is obviously inferior; you eventually learn to take his opinions with a grain of salt. People respect those they see as reliable and straightforward. A good leader exists to the benefit of the group he leads. A good leader takes advice and is flexible.
/r/seduction23/07/11 09:07 PM
1

Keep in mind that not all women are available; they may be in a relationship already, they swing for the other team, etc.
/r/seduction23/07/11 08:25 PM
1

Birth control doesn't just cause weight gain. It gave my aunt a stroke, for example. Fortunately that's a rare side effect, but diminished sex drive, irritability, and loss of attraction to one's partner are pretty common. I'm lucky; my body responds well to my birth control, and I use it even when I'm not sexually active because it eases menstrual pain and improves my mood. But every body is different. I do agree that abortion shouldn't be used as a birth control method. But I don't think most …
/r/MensRights22/07/11 08:30 PM
1

I agree completely. I'm so sorry for your loss. I really like the idea of being able to place a fetus in an artificial womb for just these purposes (father wants the baby but mother doesn't, or mother is too sick to carry to term or is killed, baby needs special medical care that can't be provided in the womb, etc.). Maybe someday...
/r/MensRights22/07/11 08:13 PM
1

Having decent educational opportunities, safety from crime, access to healthy food, and access to medical care are not luxuries, yet these things are routinely denied to low-income children. People who are born into poverty—at least in the U.S.—have a very difficult time escaping that rut. This is not an argument for child support payments—after all, the father's probably poor, too—but I do think your argument is flawed. It's pretty clear that low-income children aren't getting what they need ev…
/r/MensRights22/07/11 03:38 PM
2

What about cases where the father dies? Who should help the mother then? Personally, I think the state should. That seems like exactly the sort of thing tax dollars should go toward—ensuring everyone has access to adequate shelter, clothing, food, education, medical care, etc.
/r/MensRights22/07/11 03:31 PM
1

I was in total agreement with you until this: ...an abortion of the baby should not be granted until the father of the baby has given consent. This is as grave a violation of human rights as forcing an abortion on a woman would be. Your right to your own body must take precedence over anyone else's right to your body. Pregnancy is dangerous and damaging and difficult. I personally would rather donate a kidney than go through pregnancy—but forcing me to donate a kidney to someone else would be un…
/r/MensRights22/07/11 03:26 PM
0

...a combination of spermicidal condoms, female birth control, and pulling out... That's not realistic.
/r/MensRights22/07/11 03:19 PM
1

...can opt out of parenthood, for as long as the woman would be able to get an abortion... I just want to make a quibble here. The man's timeframe to make his decision must be shorter than the woman's timeframe to make hers, so that she still has the option to get an abortion if he decides on the last day possible that he doesn't want to be a father. In places where the woman can't get an abortion for whatever reason, he can't opt out either. The choice must be available to both parties.
/r/MensRights22/07/11 03:15 PM
1

I think a potential father should be able to give up his paternity within a certain timeframe—allowing the woman enough time to get a legal abortion, should she decide against raising the child on her own. If the father is unknown or is not told of the pregnancy within that timeframe, he automatically loses paternity (though he may be able to adopt the child or otherwise assume paternity at a later date, as any non-biological father could). It's still unfair because it means that if the woman do…
/r/MensRights22/07/11 03:07 PM
2

I know several men who wish they were married. Maybe we should hook our friends up? If only it were that easy. The things is, even in a society with a 100% marriage rate, it still takes some time for appropriate matches to develop. It's just that in a society where everyone is pushed into marrying, a given man or woman is much more likely to get saddled with a poor match: someone who'll come to regret being married, lose affection, cheat.... It is unfortunate that your two friends haven't found …
/r/MensRights12/07/11 04:58 PM
1

People are still getting married with frequency. I do agree that marriage laws need some serious re-working, and I personally am not keen to get legally married because I disagree strongly with the way the institution is implemented. If I do ever get married, it will be because I have no real alternative (my boyfriend and I are from different countries, so our relationship is entirely dependent on visas; if our other visa options ever dissolve, we must either marry or break up—unless our respect…
/r/MensRights12/07/11 04:45 PM
2

Children aside, a woman doesn't need to settle down with a man any more than a man needs to settle down with a woman. Some people, male and female, just aren't the marrying type and benefit from living in a society where they can maintain their independence. Now other people, male and female, are the marrying type, but no one is stopping them from marrying each other if they please. If they're upset because the people they want to marry aren't the marrying type, placing absurd amounts of social …
/r/MensRights11/07/11 07:54 PM
3

Well, both. I think her theory is wrong.
/r/MensRights11/07/11 03:30 PM
4

This woman is seeing the truth that a sexualized society is a bad deal for women. I don't even buy that.
/r/MensRights11/07/11 02:30 PM
5

Even so, it's a recording. Mics are built to reduce extraneous noise. Clearly, the mic in this instance would have been trained on the doctor, not the baby.
/r/MensRights08/07/11 10:18 PM
6

It's a recording and not representative of the baby's actual volume, so there's no way to know whether or not some other hypothetical baby has cried louder. I assumed you were aware of this and were just making a rhetorical point, but maybe not.
/r/MensRights08/07/11 10:01 PM
3

Babies cry when they're hungry—because otherwise they starve to death. They have to eat small meals frequently, or else they die or have their growth stunted. If you've ever tried hand rearing a baby animal, you'll discover it keeps you up all night for weeks because they must be fed every couple hours. Since humans have such large skulls to house our brains, we must be born earlier in our development than most mammals are; as such, human babies are especially fragile and needy. Babies don't cry…
/r/MensRights08/07/11 09:20 PM
10

You're not being downvoted because you're a woman (how could we have known you were one anyway?), but because your comment was factually incorrect. For the record, I'm a woman, too.
/r/MensRights08/07/11 09:07 PM
25

I'm female, so I'm not sure how much my opinion counts (I don't date other women and am not familiar with their dating ways), but there is a certain kind of girlfriend I try to be and a certain type of boyfriend I look for (genders reversed): She should legitimately like you as you are, not as who you could be. If she tries to change you (unless you yourself have expressed a desire to change and she's trying to help), leave immediately. Likewise, you should legitimately like her just as she is r…
/r/MensRights03/07/11 04:05 PM
1

I think a man who treats me like a person first, woman second is respectful. Agreed completely.
/r/MensRights29/06/11 03:44 AM
3

Citation? There seem to be plenty of respectful men getting laid out there.
/r/MensRights26/06/11 03:56 AM
4

I just went to go see this video and, whoa, is it kooky; I could only take a minute or so of it. It reminds me of What the Bleep Do We Know.
/r/MensRights26/06/11 03:34 AM
2

I am a strong opponent of circumcision for precisely these reasons. Being a child's custodian doesn't mean you own that child's body.
/r/MensRights26/06/11 02:29 AM
0

I can burp on command and bend my thumb backwards to my wrist. Believe me, I show off these skills all the same. If I had an extra toe, I would show that off, too.
/r/MensRights24/06/11 03:53 PM
7

Personally, I use my clitoral hood to get off; I don't get off any other way (my clitoris is too sensitive, my G spot isn't sensitive enough). I can't imagine what I would do if mine had been removed when I was a child, but it would definitely have altered my adult sex life in several ways. I would be absolutely horrorstricken if Americans adopted 1a female circumcision on their infants and I would fight very, very hard against it.
/r/MensRights24/06/11 03:36 PM
0

If my parents had removed an extra toe of mine that caused me no medical problems, I would be pissed. It's my toe, not theirs, and I'm the one who has to live with the decision—including scarring, phantom pain, and missing out on having an awesome extra toe. Parents should not be legally allowed to make aesthetic alterations to their children.
/r/MensRights24/06/11 03:26 PM
3

Condemning rape in general doesn't get you very far if you don't ever go after specific instances of rape. Movements are much more effective if they take on issues that can be tackled directly.
/r/MensRights23/06/11 02:29 PM
2

Excellent point. For similar reasons, I'm against the punishments for rape and kidnapping being as severe as they are, because they further endanger the victims of these crimes. If the punishment for rape or kidnapping are almost as bad as the punishment for murder, rapists and kidnappers have a very good reason to silence their witnesses. They very often do.
/r/MensRights23/06/11 01:23 AM
1

I have not claimed universal truth. I have claimed general truth, based on the way the foreskin moves on a penis. There may be some people whose foreskin behaves differently (e.g., people with shortened foreskins or frenulum breves), but as a general rule, the foreskin serves a function that involves sliding along the penis, and this makes uncut handjobs feel different from cut handjobs.
/r/MensRights21/06/11 04:45 PM
1

How many men have you slept with?
/r/MensRights21/06/11 04:15 PM
1

Ah, I think you thought I was misusing the word "intuitive", and then when it turned out I wasn't, you're still determined to prove me wrong (on a matter completely unrelated to word use!) rather than admit to your own error. Accusing me of trolling absolves you of having to back down to any degree, since there is no way to prove or disprove such a silly claim.
/r/MensRights21/06/11 04:12 PM
1

Huh, that's interesting. Well, the glans certainly gets stimulation during oral (can't be avoided, and I'm sure it feels wet and nice), but I've been warned not to rub the glans directly by hand. The glans of a circumcised penis is not as sensitive, since it is exposed to air, underwear, etc., all day. I figure the glans of the uncut penis is a bit like my clit; it can be touched directly and feel most excellent, but it must be done with care and it is certainly not necessary for a satisfying or…
/r/MensRights21/06/11 01:37 AM
1

I think when people talk about equality in these contexts, they mean that all people should have the same freedoms, not that all people should be the same.
/r/MensRights21/06/11 12:26 AM
3

You might be interested to learn about this flower, genus "Clitoria".
/r/MensRights21/06/11 12:10 AM
1

It seems you're missing the point. There may be some exceptions (I have not heard of them), but uncircumcised men get off by the sensation of their foreskin rolling over their glans. Circumcised men re-create this sensation using their hands, which is a bit trickier because friction, pressure, etc. all must be taken into account. Obviously, a man who has been masturbating all his life should have no trouble getting off, but that doesn't mean someone who isn't attached to his dick magically knows…
/r/MensRights20/06/11 11:06 PM
1

Intuitive in that it comes to me easily? Moving the foreskin up and down the shaft is the same method I use to masturbate (sliding my hood over my clit). It is a very straight-forward, instinctual movement for me. Jacking off a circumcised guy, on the other hand, is a bit more complicated. There is a balance between applying enough and too much pressure to the glans and surroundings, with some men liking some serious thumb action and other men not being able to handle anything of the sort. Unles…
/r/MensRights20/06/11 04:37 PM
9

While I've never had condomless sex with an uncircumcised guy (thus I can't judge what roles foreskins play during penetration), I must say foreskins do make giving handjobs and blowjobs a lot more fun and intuitive.
/r/MensRights20/06/11 04:35 AM
7

I think it's ridiculous that we live in a society where people think other people's private thoughts and behaviors are any of their business. Whether you have a massive crush on me or you hate my guts, your feelings are yours alone. They have no bearing on me and I take no responsibility for them; therefore, I don't get to have any say on the matter until you choose to make it my business.
/r/MensRights14/06/11 05:39 AM
7

I remember when I was in Girl Scouts, the organization made great efforts to encourage the girls to spend quality time with their dads. I remember my dad and me going to Father-Daughter camping trips with other girl scouts and their dads (or uncles, big brothers, etc.). We canoed, made birdhouses, practiced archery, and otherwise did lots of cool, outdoorsy things that girls are generally less likely to do with their mothers. To this day, I have more in common with my dad than I do with anyone e…
/r/MensRights14/06/11 04:29 AM
2

My mom's always been this way. She not only had tons of people observing all three of her kids' births, but she lets students observe her gynecological exams. She was also never weird about talking to me about sex. She's an awesome mother; I think I'm much more easygoing about all kinds things because of her influence.
/r/MensRights14/06/11 04:10 AM
1

I'd say the controversy stems not from people who have been catered to, but more from the idea that people shouldn't have to constantly worry about what harm others might pose to them. For example, it is horrendous to think that a black man couldn't safely date a white woman in the 1940s. No one today denies that doing so would have been a very risky move on his part—but nowadays, people are so infuriated by the idea of would-be lynchers frightening people away from interracial relationships tha…
/r/MensRights13/06/11 01:39 AM
2

I agree completely. I guess I'm just nitpicking at the use of the word "liable", which means legally responsible. Fortunately, it looks like ExpendableOne has edited his comment to better clarify what he meant.
/r/MensRights10/06/11 04:22 PM
2

When I reject guys, I don't tell them why I've rejected them because I don't honestly know. I'm just not attracted to them for whatever reason, and I can't pinpoint why. I don't want to rob them of their self-esteem (they're going to need that, more than anything else!), so I'm always at a loss at what to say. I usually just tell them I like someone else instead; it's a lot easier for me to explain why I find Guy A attractive than it is to explain why I don't find Guy B attractive.
/r/MensRights10/06/11 04:18 PM
5

Victims of crimes aren't liable. There are things one should do to protect oneself or one's property/identity, but failing to do those things does not mean you can be held liable. The only person at fault in a crime is the criminal.
/r/MensRights10/06/11 03:49 PM
1

That's understandable. I'm not at all attracted to men who've ever had a one-night stand or a sexual relationship with someone they weren't really into. Note that this includes men who reject women who put out on the first date; the men I'm attracted to don't put out on a first date, either, so they never encounter this situation. There's not any rational reasoning behind it, or even emotional really—I'm not the jealous sort—but something about it just turns me off in a major way. It's some sort…
/r/MensRights09/06/11 03:37 PM
1

Hehe, that seems a bit ironic. Her offense suggests her independence and assertiveness. A fully meek and nurturing individual would be gracious toward any compliment, regardless how little she desired its accuracy.
/r/MensRights09/06/11 03:29 PM
2

I know a couple who changed their name to a combination of both of their original names, and they even invented a family crest for their newly coined lineage.
/r/MensRights09/06/11 12:43 AM
4

My mother didn't change her name (my father's idea, if you're curious). It's never caused any problems for me and my parents have never complained about it. Considering how common spousal death/divorce and remarriage are, it's very common for children to have different last names from one or both of their legal parents even in traditionally named families. I'm not sure what paperwork you might be referring to. Even if my mother had adopted my father's name, she wouldn't be legally permitted to a…
/r/MensRights09/06/11 12:39 AM
-2

I'd say it's similarly silly. What other people do with their names is not really any of my business; as long as they have exposure to arguments from both sides, no decision they make on the matter is ignorant or to be railed against.
/r/MensRights08/06/11 03:17 PM
6

Or if you can't be bothered to go through all the paperwork and surrounding headaches (not changing your name is the legal default and requires no work). Or if you prefer the sound of your old name. Or if you want to maintain a more separate identity (e.g., your husband's name is well known, and you don't want his fame to outshine or artificially prop up your reputation). Or if you, as a general rule, just don't like supporting meaningless tradition solely because it is traditional. This is a si…
/r/MensRights08/06/11 03:07 PM
0

Perhaps that's how it should be used, but that's not how it is used. In almost every instance someone claims to be certain or positive of something, it simply means they're very confident of their knowledge. They're not lying or being reckless; they're just using the word differently than you do.
/r/MensRights01/06/11 06:00 PM
0

There is nothing you can be certain of, in the way you are defining "certain"—rendering the term useless in everyday conversation.
/r/MensRights01/06/11 02:09 PM
1

I am certain the sun will rise. But I don't know it will; I'm just basing my opinion on my observations and their consistency with some vintage theory I was taught in grade school. The certainty refers to how sure you feel, not to the objective truth—e.g., "I was so certain she was the one, but then she broke up with me!"
/r/MensRights01/06/11 02:08 AM
2

I am certain the sun will rise tomorrow. Am I dishonest for stating my belief that it will? After all, I don't know it will rise; that is only an educated guess.
/r/MensRights31/05/11 11:52 PM
1

Are you saying there is no such thing as certainty? I'd argue that certainly refers to how sure you feel that your opinion is true. It does not refer to whether or not your opinion is true, since technically the truth is unknowable.
/r/MensRights31/05/11 05:11 PM
1

Ah, understood and agreed. I was just confused by the turns this conversation had taken. It seems odd for the criminalization of marital rape to be controversial. I think I'm unusually wary of sex crime accusations. When I was a kid, my dad was falsely accused—by a social worker—of molesting me, but I wasn't actually molested by anyone at all. Fortunately he was never formally charged (there was no evidence, so it never went past pre-trial), but he was arrested (which is still on his record to t…
/r/MensRights23/05/11 11:53 PM
2

I'm confused by the direction of this conversation. Are you or curious67 suggesting that a married man should be safe from rape accusations, but everyone else can get screwed? Why should rape laws be worded differently for married men than for other people?
/r/MensRights23/05/11 11:20 PM
1

Personally, I wouldn't define at as equality for women. You could achieve that by removing everybody's rights, so everyone's equally screwed. It's just a bad definition. Instead, I'd define it as favoring women's rights and/or women's welfare. It's not about men at all, any more than it's about, say, animal welfare. (As it so happens, I do think men's and women's rights naturally go hand-in-hand, so I'm not surprised by any overlap between women's activists and men's activists.) Since I favor bo…
/r/MensRights19/05/11 03:10 AM
3

I tend to agree, I think. I'm against a draft in virtually all situations (I can't think of an exception, but there might be one)—but I fear the only way a draft could be made unconstitutional is if everyone were at risk. If only 18-year-old boys are at risk, then no wonder they have no political clout to stop it. Not only should 18-year-old girls suffer the same risk, but so should every age bracket with the ability to vote.
/r/MensRights19/05/11 02:14 AM
2

If they're not going to the media or putting on a big show, perhaps they should.
/r/MensRights19/05/11 02:08 AM
4

For similar reasons, what are you doing here on the MRA board? You can be a feminist and an MRA. Egalitarian may be the more encompassing term, but the other two terms certainly apply as well.
/r/MensRights19/05/11 02:01 AM
4

He's making fun of racists who use terms like that, yet have no idea what they're talking about.
/r/MensRights16/05/11 07:19 AM
1

That is such an excellent answer.
/r/MensRights09/05/11 05:50 AM
0

What do you think of the idea of some people being genderless? I'm a straight woman and, I suspect, have a higher estrogen level than is typical for women (based on my physical features, at least: unusually short stature for my family, a very distinct pear-shape, a seeming inability to build any muscle whatsoever, etc.). But I've never felt particularly female or male. I just don't think about myself in terms of gender at all. That's not to say I feel out of place being female; I'm perfectly com…
/r/MensRights09/05/11 05:46 AM
1

That's very true. I think large people forget what it was like to be a small child: persistently scared of the dark, big dogs, thunderstorms, etc., because they couldn't escape a self-awareness of their own vulnerability. To be honest, I'm still a tiny bit frightened of everyone who's bigger than me unless I know them pretty well. That includes women. It even includes docile animals like horses. Certainly I know how to hold my own, but there's this tickling awareness in the back of my mind that …
/r/MensRights09/05/11 03:53 AM
1

When I'm feeling creeped out by a stranger, I make a point to indicate that I am aware of them (such as casually glancing at them or nodding hello) so they know they can't sneak up on me. Then I try to separate myself from them—changing direction, entering a shop, seeking out a crowd, etc. All along, I try to maintain a sense of calm, confident alertness; if I act afraid and they are genuinely dangerous, then they may read that as vulnerability and seize the opportunity. I also constantly analyz…
/r/MensRights08/05/11 01:09 AM
3

I'm female, and rather small/weak. If someone's walking close behind me while I'm alone, my first thought is not that I'm going to be raped. It's that I'm going to be mugged. It's still very scary. I appreciate strangers who give me a wide berth, and I make a conscious effort to do the same. My city has a very high crime rate, and I've learned it's sensible to be observant of potential risk at all times. If you act in a way that parallels the behavior of someone who poses a threat, then of cours…
/r/MensRights08/05/11 12:50 AM
1

Well, to be fair, women have testosterone, too.
/r/MensRights06/05/11 02:35 AM
1

I've found sex is the best treatment for my menstrual cramps. The only bad thing is that the effect doesn't last for very long.
/r/MensRights06/05/11 02:27 AM
2

You can offer one person the right to wear clothes of their choice, to vote, to practice religion freely, etc., without disenfranchising another. Distribution of resources is not a human right—though it is relevant to human welfare, of course, and should be considered with great care. But at the moment, that's not the primary concern about the wellbeing of men and women in the Middle East at the moment. That being said, I'm not sure why there must be a division between men and women when it come…
/r/MensRights30/04/11 03:09 AM
3

But MLK and Malcolm X were not running in the same circles. They were viewed as opposing forces, not members of the same movement. The fringe may aid moderate feminist and MRA organizations, but not if that fringe is speaking from within those feminist and MRA organizations. The organizations, if they are to succeed, must be seen as an alternative to such extremism, not as the source of it.
/r/MensRights29/04/11 01:05 AM
3

It is a problem for advocacy, though, because it alienates would-be allies.
/r/MensRights29/04/11 12:15 AM
2

Of course they are. But you can favor women's rights without being against men's rights. Human rights aren't mutually exclusive.
/r/MensRights29/04/11 12:09 AM
9

This is precisely it. I really think feminists and MRAs are natural allies. They're both fighting prescribed gender roles, and what better way to win than to attack jointly from both sides? There are just a few sticks in the mud who, it seems, are more intent on feeling victimized by the world than on convincing the world to join their efforts. They alienate those who would otherwise stand and fight beside them.
/r/MensRights29/04/11 12:05 AM
1

Well, most of my friends would refuse to continue helping out—I suppose the idea being that they're not going to let you bully them into doing favors for you.
/r/MensRights20/04/11 12:26 PM
5

Flat out refuse. If a girl wants you to give more than she's willing to give back, she's not worth a second date.
/r/MensRights20/04/11 02:06 AM
2

I never downvote anyone I respond to in a comment. Someone else must have.
/r/MensRights20/04/11 02:01 AM
1

No, they give you a piece of their mind (if you're a friend; if not, they just quietly cut you out).
/r/MensRights20/04/11 01:53 AM
2

Yeah, I've got some male friends like that, too. But most of my male friends don't put up with people who insult them unless it's obviously a joke.
/r/MensRights20/04/11 01:50 AM
4

To be fair, I don't know many men who appreciate being called a pussy.
/r/MensRights20/04/11 01:30 AM
8

I'm female, and this is excellent advice. I think some women could stand for a similar set of reminders about men: Yes, men can be injured, too, and men also can get their feelings hurt, and sometimes they're genuinely not in the mood to have sex. And, my goodness, I'm glad I'm not the only one with toilet paper issues.
/r/MensRights12/04/11 03:19 AM
1

Many sane women aren't in relationships because they don't want to be. Being in a relationship is not an automatically good thing that everyone strives for; some people are fine with being single for a time, or even actively enjoy the independence, and they're probably more sane than those who can't stand their own solitary company enough to space out their relationships a bit.
/r/MensRights08/04/11 11:36 PM
1

I'm all for paternity leave and maternity leave, personally. It's more fair, and it's better for the couple and their newborn. But I think people who don't have children should get paid leave, too. Just put maternity/paternity leave under paid vacation time.
/r/MensRights08/04/11 11:26 PM
9

Oh wow, I hadn't thought of that, but it makes complete sense.
/r/MensRights02/04/11 11:29 PM
1

At what point did I say it was the norm? It is also not the norm for people to withhold sex from a relationship for months on end. It relates to the issue because it is an example of someone who didn't want to have sex (in this case, for reasons relating to past abuse). It is an example of someone who shouldn't have been pressured into sex he knew he wasn't ready for. You shouldn't pressure people into things they don't want to do. There are reasons people have the preferences they have, and it …
/r/MensRights01/04/11 04:38 PM
2

I'm happy to hear your life is looking up. Best of luck, and remember there is strength is admitting weakness—especially with people who have your back.
/r/MensRights01/04/11 02:26 AM
1

Absolutely. The moment you find yourself trying to change someone is the moment you should realize they just don't meet your standards. However tender your feelings may be, she's not the only girl in the world.
/r/MensRights01/04/11 12:21 AM
1

Please explain how it was a strawman.
/r/MensRights01/04/11 12:17 AM
0

Bill Zeller didn't elucidate his baggage. I agree that he probably should have—he could have gotten the help he needed—but a girlfriend is probably not the person he should have come forward to. He needed an objective professional. ...but the sex could be therapy for you. It could be. But it could also make things worse. That's why the decision should be up to you (and perhaps a trained doctor), not your partner—who necessarily can't know you as well as you know yourself.
/r/MensRights31/03/11 04:47 PM
3

Bill Zeller did have consenting sex as an adult—and he didn't like it. It triggered strong negative feelings for him. It is completely related. If you're with a girl for 6 months who still won't have sex with you, there's probably a reason. She may not feel comfortable telling you what that reason is—but that doesn't mean you should try to pressure her to do something she clearly is not ready for.
/r/MensRights31/03/11 04:43 PM
0

I do deny it, because without the abuse, he probably would have loved sex. But he was sexually abused, and so he didn't like sex. Sex was a factor in the tragedy. You can't take a freak case like his and use it as an example in reference to normal relationships where sex is healthy and sometimes a requirement to unlock love. that's my point: it's a freak case that can't be applied as normal. That's why I said this was an extreme case: Sex (and the pressure to have it with his girlfriends) was a …
/r/MensRights31/03/11 07:46 AM
3

(and I dearly hope you do not exploit it in the name of feminism). ...? I'm a bit at a loss here. What does feminism have to do with anything? So yeah, I reject your exploitation of his account for this discussion totally as 100% inapplicable and unrelated and is voided for the purposes of the discussion above. He very clearly described how sex was a trigger for his bad memories. Clearly this was a man who should not have been having sex he was not ready for. It was very harmful to him and he tr…
/r/MensRights31/03/11 07:27 AM
5

What comes easy for you does not come easy for everyone. Sex (and the pressure to have it with his girlfriends) was a primary motivating factor behind Bill Zeller's suicide, for a more extreme example. Sex was a severe trigger for him; he might still be with us if he'd been permitted his asexuality in peace. I have exceptionally little patience for people who try to pressure others into things they don't want or aren't ready for. In almost every case that someone has pressured me into something,…
/r/MensRights31/03/11 07:03 AM
4

But I am disrespecting your wishes for commitment, if you are genuinely interested in commitment. Well, exactly. We're incompatible. Our needs are at odds, and we'll never be able to respect each other's needs for as long as it would require sacrificing our own. Btw, commitment is a much bigger decision since it's a life decision than a simple sexual relationship request. Not for everyone. A lot of people carry a great deal of baggage about sex due to strict religious upbringing, sexual abuse, e…
/r/MensRights31/03/11 06:21 AM
9

Depends on how you define "respect". In my opinion, respecting a person necessitates respecting their decisions. If you try to change someone, you—by definition—do not respect them in that particular regard. If I try to pressure you into a commitment you're not ready for, I am being disrespectful of your needs and wants, plain and simple. And you, in turn, will almost undoubtedly lose respect for me and my need/wants, since they are so directly opposed to your own.
/r/MensRights31/03/11 05:57 AM
7

In theory, I agree that we're all in it for reproduction—though this may not be a conscious life goal, considering how many of us (both male and female) are homosexual, willfully childless, or even asexual. So sex (among other things, like eating) ultimately drives general male patterns of behavior. But that goes for female behavior as well. I don't see how that is an inherent problem. Is it bad that I want to have sex with my boyfriend, or that he wants to have sex with me? Does that preclude u…
/r/MensRights31/03/11 05:14 AM
2

I'd be overjoyed if my boyfriend could take a safe, effective birth control pill. I'm already on birth control myself, but it's rather disconcerting to feel as if the responsibility is all on my own shoulders. What if I forget, or I take some medication that reduces the effectiveness, or...? It's such a tiny little pill, it's a wonder it works at all. But with both of us actively seeking infertility, there'd be much greater peace of mind. Granted, we use condoms in addition to my pill, but their…
/r/MensRights31/03/11 04:37 AM
1

I'm not in this particular field, but I'd guess that a male birth control pill would not have a meaningful effect on hormones. Female birth control pills do because they tap into hormone-dictated processes that already naturally occur in women. But men do not have fertility cycles or undergo pregnancy, so there's no natural hormonal state to mimic. This is the challenge in developing a good male birth control option. It is more likely that an eventual male birth control pill will, instead, inter…
/r/MensRights31/03/11 04:20 AM
24

If someone's pressuring someone else into something they don't want to do, they're probably a bad match. They may love each other very deeply, but they don't (and perhaps can't) respect each other, which—at least in my book—is worse than not loving each other. Passion is not a replacement for compatibility.
/r/MensRights31/03/11 04:10 AM
2

I like games that are believable and creative. Most mainstream games are not, due in no small part to the exaggerated, predictable depictions of characters—both male and female—but, of course, not limited to just that (since when is shit like this a good idea?!). It's hard to really get into a game that is so obviously calculated to emotionally manipulate its audience and "look cool", especially at the cost of practicality, realism, and internal consistency.
/r/MensRights24/03/11 02:01 AM
2

What bullshit. Gender is such a red herring here. They should lower the taxes of those with lower incomes if they're so concerned that women have an unfair tax burden due to low income.
/r/MensRights18/03/11 04:00 PM
1

In Japan, the nuclear technicians are men. They're not going to send untrained personnel in there. If you want Japanese women to be more useful, then you should support increasing the number of Japanese women with high levels of education and in professional careers, as is taking place in the West.
/r/MensRights18/03/11 03:53 PM
0

Because in Japan, the nuclear technicians are men. They're not going to send untrained personnel in there.
/r/MensRights18/03/11 03:49 PM
2

The U.S. did not invade Afghanistan for any reasons related to gender.
/r/MensRights18/03/11 03:47 PM
4

Japanese culture does not have the same expectations of women that it has of men, if that's what you're trying to say.
/r/MensRights18/03/11 02:00 AM
3

It's also my understanding that these are trained technicians and scientists. They're not just sending random volunteers. How many female nuclear experts does Japan have?
/r/MensRights18/03/11 01:21 AM
2

Equality to what?
/r/MensRights18/03/11 12:58 AM
2

Are you of the opinion that men's rights isn't an equality movement?
/r/MensRights18/03/11 12:41 AM
2

There is indeed such a thing as creepy behavior. If you're at the ATM, and someone behind you is breathing down your neck as you withdraw cash, that's creepy. "Creep" is vastly overused. It's not at all unusual for some men to behave creepily toward women they're pursuing—just browse the paper for examples of it. But some women who don't have firsthand experience with being creeped out by a stranger mistake awkward situations for fearful situations. It's not scary if an acquaintance writes you a…
/r/MensRights07/03/11 04:02 PM
2

In terms of pure numbers, I'd imagine men would benefit more, simply because—in any business—there are more customers than entrepreneurs. More men than women would be affected by such a change. But I think that in terms of actual rights, the liberation it would provide to women would be more profound; for johns we're talking about the right to spend money on a service they might use every now and then, but for prostitutes we're talking about the right to run their own business and make a career …
/r/MensRights03/03/11 02:50 PM
16

It's not a balance. It would promote human rights for both sexes.
/r/MensRights03/03/11 02:49 AM
1

You make it too easy. Anyway, better luck next time. It happens to all of us.
/r/MensRights23/02/11 03:10 AM
1

Losing sucks, huh? Also, I prefer "ma'am".
/r/MensRights23/02/11 03:05 AM
1

Then what, precisely, do you think I've misarticulated? I'll be happy to re-word it for you.
/r/MensRights23/02/11 02:43 AM
1

You clearly misunderstood my words—which isn't surprising. What specific claim do you wish me to back up? I will do so gladly.
/r/MensRights23/02/11 02:27 AM
1

I wonder how much of that is caused by the fact that breast size is readily visible to all (you're constantly reminded how you stack up—no pun intended—and you're more likely to encounter people who expressly appreciate what you have), while penis size remains a very hidden, private thing in day-to-day life.
/r/MensRights22/02/11 05:34 PM
2

You only have a sample size of one in context of GroundhogExpert's argument—that is, you only have first hand experience of your own body's sensations. I don't follow how that is pertinent (after all, I don't have to have my own arm sawn off to hold the legitimate opinion that losing a limb isn't generally a pleasant experience), but GroundhogExpert seems to think it is. Anyway, I upvoted you to counteract whoever downvoted you.
/r/MensRights22/02/11 07:30 AM
1

I was talking about physical strength and weakness, like pain tolerance: We are, indeed, the physically weaker sex.
/r/MensRights22/02/11 06:54 AM
1

No one was trying to describe the subjective experience of pain. (If you're wondering what such an attempt might look like, Schmidt's sting pain index is a start; as you can see, it really is an impossible task best left to inspire poetry.) Of course you can discuss qualia without describing it. But that's not what we were doing, because qualia can't be described and, consequently, had no place in the conversation. Once again, we were talking about the existence of pain, not the experience of pa…
/r/MensRights22/02/11 06:50 AM
1

I don't understand your line of reasoning. Of course women have a huge impact on men. Even children (who are much weaker still) have a huge impact on adults—potentially the hugest impact possibly, since we are evolutionarily driven to create them and see them to adulthood above all else.
/r/MensRights22/02/11 06:28 AM
2

Well, the penis is thrusting up to the cervix with a certain amount of force I find very unpleasant, like pressing my thumb against a fresh bruise. But other than that, I agree with you completely. The vagina is a pretty nifty little thing. I'm especially fascinated by the methods it uses to protect against infection (high pH, regular secretions, etc.). That's quite a hefty task; after all, you can't seal your vagina the way you can your mouth. The human body is amazing and amazingly complicated…
/r/MensRights22/02/11 06:26 AM
1

In my experience women who think women are weak also think that men are obligated to use their strength to compensate for women's weakness. That's actually my experience as well. And, likewise, I find most men who hold the view that women are the weaker sex to be insufferable asses. But that doesn't make it untrue. It just means that kinds of people you and I like tend to deny or be ignorant of reality because it sounds nicer and befits the way we'd prefer the world to be. I think the most impor…
/r/MensRights22/02/11 06:18 AM
1

Dude, we're not talking about qualia because qualia, by definition, cannot be described. I cannot tell you what blueness looks like. However, I can tell you that I'm seeing blue. That's exactly what we're doing here. We're talking about pain—not about the subjective experience of pain, but about the objective existence of pain. I don't have to have testicles to know that a kick in the balls hurts, and you don't have to have a vagina to know that a stab in the cervix hurts. I know you're determin…
/r/MensRights22/02/11 06:06 AM
2

Sure, but it doesn't slide past it as you suggested. If I were the woman in either image (your link or mine), a moderately shorter dick would be perfect. Fortunately, the average penis fits the bill.
/r/MensRights22/02/11 05:56 AM
1

How do you suggest I might be using men for their strength? I can't even imagine why I would need to—I mean, maybe if the peanut butter lid's on too tight, but a wrench will do the trick. Admiration can exist in isolation of selfish practicality, and does quite frequently. I've never suggested that anyone should soundlessly endure what makes them unhappy. I'm not above asking my lover to readjust his technique as befits my needs (or else take leave of my bed), and I expect him to communicate lik…
/r/MensRights22/02/11 05:52 AM
2

How can rantgrrl know what it's LIKE to have my vagina? I would assume that devbrain understands what the sensation of pain is, and I would assume that he understands the sensation of pleasure. He is not outside his element to suggest that the central part of the vagina is insensitive and the the cervix is painful for most women. That is information that can easily be obtained through research. He never made the attempt to describe the qualia of anything, and nor has rantgrrl. Where did you get …
/r/MensRights22/02/11 05:44 AM
0

Even better—I've seen MRI footage of intercourse. Here's a picture.
/r/MensRights22/02/11 05:38 AM
5

(Hot!)
/r/MensRights22/02/11 05:30 AM
-2

And how I long for a world in which more women were like me. Alas, men and women are not the same. We are, indeed, the physically weaker sex. As frustrating as that is (and on that I agree with you), reality cannot be ignored. But rather than hate women for their weakness, I prefer to love men for their strength.
/r/MensRights22/02/11 05:30 AM
1

No gynos have noticed anything out of place, but I do wonder about endometriosis just the same. It's a pretty common ailment, unfortunately, and it's not the only cause of cervix sensitivity.
/r/MensRights22/02/11 05:24 AM
4

Dude, I'm not a dude. I have a vagina, and my vagina is not rantgrrl's. Mine is exactly as devbrain describes. He has done his research (and I bet he's a better lover for it). For the record, I would trust a male doctor to know more about vaginas and breasts than I do. I know the experience that I have with them, but I am no expert on vaginas in general and breasts in general. Believe it or not, people can have expert knowledge outside their immediate experience; after all, scientists seem to ha…
/r/MensRights22/02/11 05:22 AM
4

Or perhaps you don't like admitting to weakness? Pain is part of life, and the nervous system exists (largely) to address it. Evolution has not made us perfect animals. Sorry.
/r/MensRights22/02/11 05:16 AM
6

The farm implements thing was a fucking joke. ... I guess I'm just that much more awesome then all you other weak-ass bitches. Could be, or maybe you just don't have sex with men who use more than gentle thrusts. Or maybe your vagina stretches out longer than you realize.
/r/MensRights22/02/11 05:06 AM
5

He is stating what is true for at least a very sizable proportion of us; rantgrrl's vagina is a sample of only one.
/r/MensRights22/02/11 05:03 AM
7

You suggest elsewhere that women who experience cervical pain during intercourse are having ridiculous sex ("pleasuring themselves with farm implements" or "[taking] a jackhammer to your vag"). In actuality, this is one of the most common causes of intercourse pain, even if the sex is not particularly vigorous. Men with long penises should not go in all the way in unless they can be sure it won't hurt their partners—because that shit smarts for a lot of us (quite possibly most of us).
/r/MensRights22/02/11 04:56 AM
6

I personally can't feel anything between the entrance and my cervix. The IUD is inserted into the cervix, so that's probably why it hurts. And just for the record, my cervix pretty much always feels like a particularly bad bruise, no matter how aroused I may be. If you touch my cervix during sex, I'm not happy (at best) and that's the end of our sex life (at worst). Please don't encourage our larger brethren to go balls deep without prior inquiry.
/r/MensRights22/02/11 04:39 AM
1

Ah, that makes a lot of sense. Somewhat similarly, when we're hanging out together, my boyfriend is in charge of anything that involves climbing (I'm afraid of heights, and he loves them) and I'm in charge of anything that involves critter relocation (he's afraid of snakes and spiders, and I love them)—and each of us thinks the other is getting the raw deal.
/r/MensRights20/02/11 04:58 AM
4

It probably has to do primarily with what tools are found indoors and what tools are found outdoors. For some reason, people like their inside things to be more stylish.
/r/MensRights20/02/11 01:31 AM
6

Out of curiosity, why can't she fix a faucet or do other repairs that aren't physically intensive? Has she just not learned? (Granted, I may be asking because I love DIY and repairs. They're my favorite chores—to the extent that I'm more inclined to call them hobbies than chores.)
/r/MensRights20/02/11 01:27 AM
0

Really? I wasn't aware of that. It looks just like a vintage Disney comic. I didn't think they were still in print, especially outside the U.S.
/r/MensRights19/02/11 04:54 AM
3

well, yes, most western women are. Source? Men as rapists... no, because very few men are. What about men as abusers? I'm pretty sure abusive people are the minority, amongst both Western men and Western women—unless you're defining "abuse" very broadly.
/r/MensRights19/02/11 03:07 AM
3

About as ridiculous as stereotyping men as abusers.
/r/MensRights19/02/11 02:51 AM
-1

I'm pretty sure it wasn't made in 2008. This line of comics is from the 30s and 40s. "2008" is probably the issue number.
/r/MensRights19/02/11 02:08 AM
1

This comic is not abusive toward men or women, if that's what you think I'm suggesting—but it portrays a ridiculous stereotype about women, and it makes light of abuse against men (who are very often mutilated or killed by their abusive partners). I don't know why this was seen at funny during that time period. All I can think is that female-on-male violence was not viewed as a big problem at the time—perhaps because it was strange to think of a man being at the mercy of a woman (men are suppose…
/r/MensRights19/02/11 02:03 AM
21

I've noticed that nagging or abusive women were a popular comedic theme in cartoons from the 30s and 40s. You don't see stuff like that in cartoons so much today. I think both sides find them sexist (rightly so) and unfunny; abuse jokes hit awfully close to home these days.
/r/MensRights18/02/11 06:41 PM
4

Hopefully they'll come up with something that isn't hormonal, but that perhaps interrupts sperm production by more mechanical means (e.g., causes some pertinent protein to fold incorrectly). They could potentially come up with something as harmless as an over-the-counter painkiller. Such a solution isn't as feasible for women, since all their eggs are created before birth, but the repeated production of sperm in men leaves wiggle room to interrupt that process. Fingers crossed!
/r/MensRights04/02/11 06:03 PM
1

Firing or demoting someone is not intended as a punishment. It's a practical means of removing someone from a position they are not suited for. Someone who views it otherwise is perhaps too emotional to be in a position of making these types of decisions. Punishment does work, but it can have many unintended consequences. It is certainly called for in some cases, as you'll note I mentioned in my original comment. However, teaching children to live in fear of doing wrong—rather than in eagerness …
/r/MensRights03/02/11 06:37 PM
1

People do things for attention. If you train your child that misbehavior gets them attention, you'll get an adult who picks fights and makes a spectacle of him or herself in order to be in the spotlight. You create a troll, in essence. Surely in your adult interactions, you've learned that refusing to continue dealings with someone who is mistreating you is better than acquiescing to their attempts to push your buttons.
/r/MensRights03/02/11 03:34 AM
2

I don't think you understand how children work. They do anything for attention.
/r/MensRights03/02/11 12:57 AM
2

Empathy is vital. You can chart your own course in life and still understand why other people have charted theirs differently. Indeed, I think the more thoughtful you are to other people's behavior and motives, the more intelligently you can select your own path. You will not be swayed by society's expectations if you are aware that there are good reasons for doing otherwise.
/r/MensRights02/02/11 09:13 PM
2

You can't train a horse with shouts and expect it to obey a whisper.
/r/MensRights02/02/11 09:08 PM
2

Studies have shown, repeatedly, that young children (and animals, etc.) respond better to positive reinforcement than to negative reinforcement. Negative reinforcement deteriorates self-esteem, which makes the subject afraid to take action for fear of making a mistake—while positive reinforcement builds self-esteem and makes the subject less fearful of taking action.
/r/MensRights02/02/11 09:06 PM
7

I'm not a dad, but this is how my father raised me and I am endlessly grateful to him for it. Don't emphasize her looks ("you're pretty"), intelligence ("you're smart"), skill ("you're talented" or "you learn quickly"), or anything else that may cause her low self-esteem if she finds herself incapable of meeting expectations. Instead, congratulate her when she works hard (even if she doesn't succeed), attempts honesty, considers her options before acting, seeks self-improvement, and does right b…
/r/MensRights02/02/11 06:21 AM
2

...to do so may allow offenders to adapt or restrict their behaviour to conduct which falls short of our prosecution threshold. Isn't the whole point of a law to prevent misbehavior?
/r/MensRights27/01/11 12:01 AM
5

It would be very, very foolish for either partner of this marriage to make any career-related sacrifices for the family—e.g., to raise children, to support the other through schooling, or to move so the other can pursue a job prospect. If that's the way it's going to be, there's not much point to getting married. It's a shame that certain marriage benefits, like hospital visits, can't be offered between non-married couples (or, hell, platonic friends).
/r/MensRights16/01/11 03:30 AM
2

Most people don't blame you for things you didn't do. There are a few assholes who do, but they are the slim minority. Don't let them decide how you feel about yourself or about anyone else. I'm a white Southerner, and at least one of my verified direct ancestors was a plantation owner with numerous slaves. I live in Atlanta and I grew up in a black-majority community going to black-majority public schools, and no one (except one or two imbeciles) gave a shit that some of my ancestors may have o…
/r/MensRights12/01/11 06:44 PM
2

Black people get told off by some white racist occasionally, too. Every group has a few assholes, and those assholes generally paint entire other groups by their assholes. There's not a lot to be done about it except not to let it get to you. Most people get along with each other just fine, and the ones who don't (ahem) often bring it upon themselves.
/r/MensRights12/01/11 02:50 AM
1

Wow, congratulations! When's the baby due?
/r/MensRights08/01/11 07:34 AM
1

Your child is closely related to you. Your wife is not (ideally). From a biological standpoint, it is more sensible to save your closest genetic relatives first. And fertile women who are unrelated to you vastly outnumber however many offspring you'll ever have. You can always get a new wife.
/r/MensRights08/01/11 07:30 AM
1

I hear couples (both men and women) say it a lot. I always liked the phrase because it suggests they're in it together. It's technically incorrect usage, but "pregnant" is used interchangeably with "expecting" all the time these days.
/r/MensRights08/01/11 07:19 AM
0

What if I, as an employer, am given a choice between hiring someone with a family and someone without? I'll choose the one without if it means I don't have to pay him as much. Paying people by their need, rather than by their work, is a wonderful concept in theory, but in reality I fear it would put the neediest people out of work.
/r/MensRights06/01/11 04:37 PM
0

I basically agree with you, I think. The subject matter isn't the problem. These specific groups' interpretation of the subject matter is the problem, and r/MensRights is wise to maintain distance. For the most part, it seems this subreddit supports the view that men and women aren't so different as they are made out to be and that they deserve equal treatment by the law and by society—whereas these white rights groups appear to be more supportive of the notion that the races are quite distinct …
/r/MensRights05/01/11 11:35 PM
0

There's nothing wrong with there being a white rights group, but most elements of the group aren't exactly egalitarian, sadly. Just take a look at the front page of r/WhiteRights. It's not even strictly about race! What's all this stuff about Christianity and Judaism doing in there? I don't blame this subreddit at all for wanting to distance itself from another group that is known for holding particularly discriminatory views. The members of this group are trying to show that men's rights are ab…
/r/MensRights05/01/11 05:03 PM
0

Yeah, I'm not sure why you're being downvoted, either. I do think you have a point, and I think the law's a bit harsh here—which is why I'm all the more in favor of it being applied consistently so that it's more likely to be fixed. Mind you, I had an ex who entered my email account, wiped out a lot of emails, and sent emails under my identity in retaliation for having discovered evidence of illegal activity that he left on my computer (he was already an ex at this point, so this wasn't just a s…
/r/MensRights28/12/10 10:42 PM
9

I don't blame him, either, but he still didn't have that right. The law should be applied consistently or it shouldn't be a law at all.
/r/MensRights28/12/10 06:15 PM
5

My grandfather repeatedly tells me, "No man is perfect in every way, so you might as well find one who's rich." Every time I get a boyfriend, my grandfather's first question is, "What does he do?" It drives me crazy; I really have to hold my tongue. None of my younger relatives (my parents' generation and below) care about anything beyond my happiness in my relationships; they figure I can take care of myself, if anyone's going to. I just have to accept that my grandfather comes from a very diff…
/r/MensRights27/12/10 06:16 AM
1

I kind of think people should be able to hire whoever they want in most cases.
/r/MensRights17/12/10 01:00 AM
2

Which modern armies? There hasn't been a draft in the U.S. since the Vietnam War.
/r/MensRights16/12/10 02:38 AM
0

When my menstrual cramps are at their height, I can't leave the fetal position for several hours at a time. I can't even get up to go to the bathroom, let alone concentrate on doing work. There is about one day a month that I am completely useless.
/r/MensRights16/12/10 02:35 AM
1

You see this situation in virtually all animal species. Females have a lot to lose when selecting a mate because they have only so many opportunities to breed and it takes a lot of resources. Males have essentially limitless opportunities to breed, and they give up very little to produce offspring. Females are the limiting factor, so males must court them. There are some exceptions: completely monogamous animals (males and females court each other) and animals where the male does the primary car…
/r/MensRights16/12/10 02:28 AM
3

That's not the point I'm addressing. Infertility does not cause men to disappear and women to be left behind. It causes children to disappear without regard to gender.
/r/MensRights07/12/10 12:55 AM
2

Infertility does not cause death, just fewer children.
/r/MensRights07/12/10 12:32 AM
1

The men who would choose to be on an man-only car aren't the men causing problems for women. (However, I do think they should offer men-only cars if they offer women-only cars.)
/r/MensRights29/11/10 12:04 AM
9

That's so bizarre. I've given my boyfriend permission to have sex with me while I'm sleeping (it's one of those nagging fantasies of mine) and, of course, the question comes up—legally, would that be rape?
/r/MensRights24/11/10 03:53 AM
4

The men women choose to have sexual flings with and the men women choose to have longterm relationships may be different types of men, and the women who pursue one scenario versus the other may be different types of women.
/r/MensRights21/10/10 12:01 AM
2

I tend to agree. Either discrimination should be allowed, or it shouldn't and everyone gets the same rate. At least with car insurance, I prefer the discrimination route because it helps keep traffic and risk-takers off the road. But I can empathize with the argument to cease rate discrimination; I just think it should be consistent across the board (age is just as arbitrary as sex and race).
/r/MensRights20/10/10 11:55 PM
8

That is, MRAs will stop offending men when feminists stop offending men?
/r/MensRights16/10/10 11:17 PM
8

Great idea!
/r/MensRights16/10/10 07:16 PM
1

I'd rather not see this forum discredited.
/r/MensRights15/10/10 05:14 AM
1

You tip toed around the obvious implication of the graph: that men are smarter than women. The graph does not imply anything, except that 10% of OKCupid users who listed their gender as female and answered this question selected the incorrect answer, and 5% of OKCupid users who listed their gender as male and answered this question selected the incorrect answer. That's all it means. Anything else you get out of it is hypothesis and would require further study to test. Hypothesizing about a given…
/r/MensRights14/10/10 01:38 PM
1

Maybe because it isn't a counter-argument...?
/r/MensRights13/10/10 11:46 PM
2

What could be causing this? Some possibilities: Women are less educated in sciences. Women don't read OKCupid match questions as carefully and/or don't put as much effort into dating sites. Geeky/intelligent guys are more inclined to join dating sites than geeky/intelligent girls.
/r/MensRights13/10/10 12:07 AM
10

I don't think this is actually a modern phenomenon. In nearly every animal species in existence, females have the greater burden in reproduction and consequently can afford to be finicky. In the few examples where males are just as choosy, males and females are monogamous and contribute nearly equally to reproduction. This disconnect between men and women is an unfortunate side effect of our species' evolutionary history. It will take thousands of years to change it, but that does appear to be o…
/r/MensRights05/10/10 02:23 AM
1

Agreed.
/r/MensRights04/10/10 11:36 PM
4

Ah, that makes more sense.
/r/MensRights03/10/10 11:51 PM
12

The analogy doesn't quite work because this is still something that is happening inside her. She has full moral and legal rights to her body, so poisoning her (and that's exactly what that is) would be reprehensible and illegal. However, if he were somehow the pregnant one, then by all means he should be able to get an abortion without her knowledge.
/r/MensRights03/10/10 11:44 PM
4

She should tell him because it concerns him. It is the ethical thing to do. But he doesn't have a right to know her medical history or current medical conditions. That's between her and her doctor, and should legally remain so.
/r/MensRights03/10/10 11:39 PM
3

Personally, I think that ensuring children are provided for is a social necessity and, as such, should be the concern of the government. Whether a child is effectively missing a parent through death, neglect, rejection, illness, etc., the government should step in to ensure the child is not living in poverty. There really shouldn't ever be a need for parental child support.
/r/MensRights03/10/10 11:32 PM
3

CostCo is similar to a co-op. You pay an annual membership fee, and then you can buy things at very low, bulk prices that your fee helped pay for. It's a good deal.
/r/MensRights03/10/10 11:27 PM
5

Absolutely! I can't imagine going through life feeling unwanted sexually. It must be awful. I'll make sure he doesn't forget how yummy he is.
/r/MensRights03/10/10 11:19 PM
5

I was recently telling my boyfriend how sexy his body is, and he told me that no one has ever expressed lustful desires for him like that. It made me very sad.
/r/MensRights02/10/10 11:23 PM
1

Unfortunately, many guys don't have such a good time of it. Men who are more emotional, tender, nerdy, or nontraditionally masculine are often dismissed or mistreated. Though you may have little to fear from individual women, society as a whole does quite a bit of harm to men and boys who aren't suited to strict gender roles.
/r/MensRights02/10/10 12:05 AM
1

Wow, that really sucks. I'm glad you posted. I wasn't aware that this was an issue, but I can see how hard this must be on you (and your girlfriend, too, I imagine). This might not only be anti-father sentiment, but anti-single sentiment. I can't help but imagine there'd have been more support for both of you as a couple if you were married. Is there anything we can do to help your efforts?
/r/MensRights01/10/10 11:47 PM
1

You can't legislate against that (except insofar as slander laws might apply), and nor do I think you should. But you can certainly keep names out of the media, which is where the most harm is done.
/r/MensRights30/09/10 02:27 PM
4

Hold that outlet legally responsible.
/r/MensRights30/09/10 04:53 AM
2

The researchers found that the fertile women in the study preferred men with low cortisol levels, which is linked with being calm and collected. Are you getting cortisol and testosterone confused?
/r/MensRights16/09/10 11:56 PM
3

MRAs don't believe that men suffer higher conviction rates and tougher criminal sentencing because they are regarded as the more aggressive, insensitive sex? MRAs don't believe that fathers are frequently unfairly separated from their kids in custody disputes because they are regarded as being strictly breadwinners and higher-up decision-makers? MRAs don't believe that men are often viewed suspiciously in the company of women and children because they are regarded as the more sexually dominant, …
/r/MensRights28/08/10 04:29 AM
3

The term "patriarchy" may have an offensive connotation because of its association with radical feminism. However, it is the term for an actual condition in society—where women are expected to be docile, chaste caretakers and men are expected to be emotionless, aggressive leaders. This condition is widely denounced by both movements on the basis that it robs people of their basic freedoms over their anatomical differences. You may not like the term, and I don't blame you. I try to avoid it, too.…
/r/MensRights28/08/10 03:57 AM
5

Feminism is female-specific and men's rights is male-specific. You said so yourself right here: For one, I am with you on this one...Feminism is about women, and women ONLY. Both MRAs and feminists are generally opposed to patriarchy (and would probably be opposed to matriarchy, if it were more widespread). But they concentrate on the specific issues that affect their respective genders, because that's the whole point of gender-specific movements. Now if you want examples of people who support b…
/r/MensRights27/08/10 06:40 PM
5

"Patriarchy" is a concept where men are expected to be the providers and protectors of society. "Matriarchy" is a concept where the women are expected to be the providers and protectors of society. Both are harmful to men and women, because both lock men and women into roles that they may not be suited for. I think we can all agree that in an ideal society, gender roles would be entirely descriptive, not prescriptive. As it is (in my country, which leans more patriarchal than matriarchal), my hy…
/r/MensRights27/08/10 06:23 PM
3

I tend to agree, with certain exceptions, like being able to visit your spouse in the hospital or being able to obtain a visa in your spouse's country. Personally, I think things like this should fall under legal civil unions (which any two people should be able to obtain, even if they are not romantic partners in any way) rather than under legal marriage.
/r/MensRights27/08/10 05:59 PM
4

Removal of the clitoral hood is one type of female genital mutation, and it is widely regarded as a pretty horrific thing to do to little girls. I personally would not be able to function sexually without my clitoral hood; it protects my very sensitive clitoris when I'm not in an aroused state, and manipulating the hood is the one way I can orgasm. This is not the case for all women, of course—but if my clitoral hood had been circumcised, my life would be less fulfilling for it. It's the type of…
/r/MensRights27/08/10 04:26 AM
2

Do you think you could hunt down your source? I would be very interested.
/r/MensRights27/08/10 04:15 AM
1

My parents didn't change their names, and they had no trouble easing into married life. They pretty much just signed the papers and opened a joint bank account. When they had children, my dad suggested that they give any girls her name and any boys his name (personally, I would opt to alternate names instead, in case there were only boys or only girls). I never had any trouble having a different name from my father's, except that once someone asked if he was my stepdad. I like my mother's name b…
/r/MensRights27/08/10 04:06 AM
1

I have never excused anti-male sentiment. I have merely pointed out, repeatedly, that there are people who follow the ideals of both men's rights and women's rights, and that supporting women's rights does not rule out the possibility of supporting men's rights (and vice versa, of course). This appears to be a semantic argument. You disagree with my definition of feminism, and that's fine. I just think your definition is overly constrained. I find it rules out too many people who call themselves…
/r/MensRights24/08/10 11:45 PM
1

If feminism is defined as being both pro-women and anti-men, it logically follows that causes that are only pro-women and not anti-men must not be feminist causes. That means opposition to female genital is not a feminist cause. Is that what you believe?
/r/MensRights23/08/10 10:51 PM
1

This is getting away from my original point, so let me just make it clear. Feminism is defined as supporting women and women's rights. How such policies affect men is outside the definition. Some feminist opinions may effectively be harmful to men and some may be beneficial to men, just as some may be harmful to the environment (or animals, or children, etc., etc.) and some may be helpful to the environment. Feminism is not defined by how it affects men or any other non-female-specific group. Fe…
/r/MensRights22/08/10 10:42 PM
1

You can tell us whatever you want, but when every action, every press release, every 'call to action', every talking point...ALL of them are anti-male, anti-masculine, and pro-women.
/r/MensRights22/08/10 10:27 PM
1

You may not see women as allies but, sadly, you're going to need them—and the men who ally with them—to win this fight. Otherwise you'll be shunned as an extremist who is out of touch with reality.
/r/MensRights20/08/10 10:01 PM
1

You should work on reading comprehension. It's a useful skill.
/r/MensRights20/08/10 09:58 PM
9

We may be socially expected to do so*, but I don't know of any workplaces where such shaving is required by dress code. *(Well, maybe not the pubic hair so much, at least in my experience. My last two boyfriends voiced a specific preference for hair, and my current has said nothing on the subject whatsoever.)
/r/MensRights20/08/10 06:43 AM
9

Please do this. It is a common problem, and the more it is recognized as one, the less inclined companies will be to hold their employees to this ridiculous standard. (I'm female, and not even I would want to work for a company where men were required to shave, any more than I would want to work where women were required to wear makeup.)
/r/MensRights20/08/10 06:35 AM
1

It's not the only option in a hypothetical sense, but let's be realistic here. You're not going to overthrow the (ridiculously militarized, if you're American) government with a slim minority of citizens who are angry enough to try, when those citizens are widely dismissed as absurd extremists because they continually alienate their would-be allies. Revolutions occur when the government does not conform to the will of the people and the people strive, en masse, to fix it. Fortunately, that's not…
/r/MensRights18/08/10 11:43 PM
1

Please tell me where I said that feminism is "all about equality". ALL of them are anti-male, anti-masculine, and pro-women. Come on, this is getting absurd. It is true that feminism is—by its very definition—pro-women, but there are plenty of feminist concerns that have nothing whatsoever to do with men except in the most indirect sense, such as opposition to female genital cutting in Africa. How is that anti-male or anti-masculine? You should try to be more precise with your rhetoric.
/r/MensRights18/08/10 11:35 PM
1

You need voters if you want to make changes.
/r/MensRights18/08/10 12:51 AM
1

Did you read what I wrote, or are you being willfully disingenuous? "Feminist" is the term for a person who supports women's rights. It's a very general, very inclusive term. Asking if feminists are either all for or all against MRAs is kind of like asking if they're all for or all against environmental protections. It's a fallacious question.
/r/MensRights18/08/10 12:27 AM
1

I wish I could help you with that. I'm not familiar with any feminist organizations (not even NOW). My exposure to feminists is limited to people who call themselves by that term but are not active participants in any organizations that I know of.
/r/MensRights16/08/10 01:50 AM
1

Feminist organizations are not generally in the business of advocating for men's rights (regardless of how many feminists are also supporters of men's rights), much as animal welfare activists are not generally in the business of advocating for child welfare (regardless of how many animal welfare activists also are supporters of child welfare). Now some animal welfare activists may act in a way that is directly opposed to child welfare, but that does not say anything about animal welfare activis…
/r/MensRights16/08/10 12:56 AM
1

If moderate Republicans left the Republican Party for the Democrat Party, it would make both parties more rightwing—the Republican Party because its leftmost wing has departed, and the Democrat Party because it has just gained a new rightmost wing. Whether that would be a gain or a loss for society, who can say? But it would certainly have interesting political ramifications.
/r/MensRights16/08/10 12:27 AM
1

She still sounds like a feminist to me. I think that's the whole point of the post: feminism is not a unified, uniform movement.
/r/MensRights16/08/10 12:21 AM
2

It is unwise to turn away potential supporters. The MRA movement will never get off the ground until its concerns are recognized by a wider audience—and that means cleaning away the cobwebs.
/r/MensRights15/08/10 02:03 AM
2

To be fair, if a woman is going to withdraw consent like that she is abusing you as a partner and a guy should dump her immediately. There are compelling reasons to want to stop having sex in the middle of the act. There have been several instances where I was on the receiving end of intercourse (particularly anal) and we had to stop very suddenly because I was sore or injured. There have been cases where my partner, as the penetrator, wanted to stop because he was sore. I've also heard of peopl…
/r/MensRights09/08/10 06:36 PM
7

"So when she changed her mind, I stopped." - If you are having sex with a woman, you must stop immediately if she decides she doesn't want to anymore, even if she's egged you on and pushed you for sex all night. Wait, are you saying that a man shouldn't have a responsibility to stop having sex with someone who withdraws consent?
/r/MensRights09/08/10 04:44 AM
2

A lot of people (including legislators) legitimately believe that men can't be raped. Responding intelligently to these types of statements, rather than banning them outright, helps bring this important issue to light. We need to have more discussions about male victims of rape, not fewer.
/r/MensRights22/07/10 10:34 PM
3

I'm female, and even I know men get erections they don't want all the freaking time. It often leads to extremely awkward and embarrassing situations (e.g., I've even known gay men who've become unexpectedly physically aroused while hugging a female friend). Your genes don't care if you get an erection when you don't want one. From an evolutionary perspective, that's an extremely minute price to pay for ensuring that you get an erection when you do want one.
/r/MensRights22/07/10 10:29 PM
4

I wish I could go topless when I mow. I absolutely hate clothing double standards, especially when they directly interfere with health and comfort. They hurt everyone, male and female. At least where I work, the dress code is identical for men and women (no skirts, etc., allowed). We suffer the heat in unison.
/r/MensRights09/06/10 02:53 AM
5

Perhaps, but I think you might be reading a bit much into it. The narrator of the song (for lack of a better term) was upset at this guy because she wanted to get married and he didn't, so they broke up. Now she's dating another guy and her ex is jealous. It's a common scenario in real life, not necessarily along those gender lines. Familiarity with this type of situation and the catchiness of the tune and lyrics is why it's so popular.
/r/MensRights01/06/10 10:00 PM
16

I'm not sure how "Single Ladies" is anti-men; it just sounds to me like a song about moving on from a break up, a la "Who's Sorry Now?" As for other songs, it seems to me that romance and relationship problems dominate music and poetry. It's really no surprise that sexism comes out in music, just as it comes out in dating advice columns and everywhere else people rant about relationships. That being said, your girlfriend doesn't sound very compassionate or open-minded. Why are you with her?
/r/MensRights01/06/10 03:08 AM
1

Being confident does indeed make you more attractive. I tend to agree with you based on personal experience. But it's not supported by the study (specifically, the researchers did not look into that), so Weaponized_Dairy's summary is inaccurate, and my comment stands. I'm also not certain that self-confidence necessarily makes one attractive, since feeling confident is not the same as acting confident. It's too bad they didn't look into this—probably would have been very interesting.
/r/seduction17/04/10 12:47 AM
0

The study didn't indicate that being confident makes you more attractive. On the contrary, approaching another person made that person less likely to choose you.
/r/seduction16/04/10 03:16 PM
1

Making the first move makes you more attractive? I think you typed that wrong. Making the first move makes you more attracted. But the people who are approached are less attracted because their self-confidence is lower.
/r/seduction13/04/10 06:08 PM
12

I suspect the issue here is that women are expected to act in a passive aggressive manner, never a directly aggressive manner, in society. Men, on the other hand, are expected to be directly aggressive, never passive aggressive.
/r/MensRights04/04/10 12:13 AM
3

To be honest, I'm female and I masturbate to the thought of men masturbating. I wish male masturbation were more widely accepted as sexy, because I'd have an easier time finding suitable porn or talking my boyfriend into masturbating for me. However, I'm turned off by the idea of sex toys (regardless of the gender they're intended for) because they make what would seem spontaneous and animalistic appear contrived.
/r/MensRights29/03/10 03:17 AM
6

You both enjoy tax breaks, you get a drop in car insurance rates, etc. "Welfare" problems arise if you get divorced and one of you makes more than the other. If it's a real concern, don't marry someone who makes less than you and don't let your spouse sacrifice his/her career for your family.
/r/MensRights27/03/10 03:41 AM
3

But you're talking about general averages and stereotypes here. Not all women are unusually emotional; many can be quite cold, to be honest. Not all straight men are attracted to women who are emotional or girly, and that doesn't make them any less heterosexual. Mandano's point still stands: Maybe we should all be less preoccupied by what is masculine and what is feminine and just do what we want without feeling pressured.
/r/MensRights26/03/10 12:56 AM
3

Testosterone is both a male and female sex hormone. According to the testosterone Wikipedia page (with sources): On average, an adult human male body produces about ten times more testosterone than an adult human female body, but females are, from a behavioral perspective (rather than from an anatomical or biological perspective), more sensitive to the hormone. However, the overall ranges for male and female are very wide, such that the ranges actually overlap at the low end and high end respect…
/r/MensRights26/03/10 12:50 AM
3

My boyfriend is straight, yet he is almost consistently attracted to non-feminine women (who usually turn out to be lesbians, to his frustration). Plenty of straight women are consistently attracted to feminine men. Different people have different tastes, and they don't necessarily prefer the gender that is associated with their preferred sex. If a woman suddenly bursts into tears at some seemingly inconsequential point of a film, for instance. This is atypical behavior and a sign that something…
/r/MensRights25/03/10 02:24 AM
1

What you're saying makes sense, and I've suspected the same based on mating strategies exhibited by other animals (blue-throated lizards perhaps being the best example). I doubt that the Y chromosome would code for it directly, as it is so small. But other genes might code for it, and those genes could be triggered indirectly by the Y chromosome via androgens. This might also explain why women appear to exhibit some degree of the mating behaviors of men, even though it's not directly clear how i…
/r/MensRights24/03/10 06:36 PM
1

There is some evidence (based on research on related primates) that women may have hidden estrus, hidden early pregnancy, and sometimes promiscuous tendencies in order to increase paternal uncertainty as much as possible. If somebody suspects they might be related to your children, they'll be less likely to hurt them. This might also explain why some men have trophy wives, cuckoldry fetishes, etc. Their own biological children may be a little safer from outside threats if they're mixed up with o…
/r/MensRights24/03/10 03:28 AM
1

I made the suggestion because I am speaking to the boyfriend, not the girlfriend; I can't speak to her directly. If you're trying to give advice to one person, sometimes you have to give it through another. Otherwise, though, I agree with you.
/r/MensRights22/03/10 05:05 AM
1

I'm sorry to hear that. I hope the best for you both.
/r/MensRights19/03/10 05:38 PM
1

Hm. Perhaps you can give her a job that's her responsibility alone, that will help her feel important? For example, maybe your family's efforts for charity could be her domain; she could donate and volunteer, which might help her feel like she's making a meaningful contribution and people can depend on her. You might also want to emphasize to her how important she is to you—maybe suggest that the reason you can do so much for the family is because she props you up or inspires you. You sound like…
/r/MensRights19/03/10 05:31 PM
1

I wouldn't discount the study altogether. If it's in a peer-reviewed journal, they presumably did some kind of statistical analysis. Of course, these things must still be taken with a grain of salt; it is only a survey. It's a shame this article doesn't link to the original research. Either way, it does make sense than some (many?) women would feel frustrated in this situation. Society really pushes the idea that men's worth is tied to making money and women's worth is tied to raising children, …
/r/MensRights19/03/10 05:22 PM
1

It may not even comprehensively illustrate the attitudes of all 78 in the sample.
/r/MensRights19/03/10 07:59 AM
3

Different women want different things. Don't assign the opinions of one subset to the entire set.
/r/MensRights19/03/10 07:35 AM
2

I agree. You might argue that circumcision and fatherhood are both really about children's rights, so they have no place in the men's rights movement. I say, what's wrong with overlap? People fall into several categories, so it makes sense that our political and social concerns might fall into several categories as well.
/r/MensRights19/03/10 12:31 AM
4

How are they clearly distinct?
/r/MensRights18/03/10 11:13 PM
2

That's still pretty iffy. The age of consent is 16 in my state, and I have a close friend who's been a registered child molester since he was a teenager for touching the breast of a girl four days shy of her 16th birthday. While in group therapy (required for sex offenders), he met a married middle-aged woman who had been a registered child molester since she gave her boyfriend a blowjob when they were both teenagers. There needs to be more wiggle room for people who are of similar ages, even if…
/r/MensRights16/03/10 07:02 PM
1

Wow, seriously? What was it like being raised by your dad?
/r/MensRights16/03/10 07:10 AM
3

But your sampling will still be biased toward people who take particular interest in their looks. I used to work in a professional photo lab. Sure, there were normal family portraits that came through, but it was overwhelmingly biased toward weddings. Anecdotal evidence does't count for much.
/r/MensRights13/03/10 06:04 PM
2

As an average. It's not a hard and fast rule. I, for one, don't even think in words; I think in spatial-visual terms.
/r/MensRights13/03/10 04:48 AM
1

Women like relationships and gossip... I'm a woman. I have very little interest in gossip or most any socializing. I do like relationships, but largely for the sex. (And for the record, I'm pro-choice and on the pill because I'm not so big on the baby-making.) You're thinking of extraverts, not women. Plenty of introverted women exist in the world, even if we aren't as popular on television or in movies. ...men like...to create, to build things. What about all those stereotypes about women lovin…
/r/MensRights13/03/10 04:45 AM
5

Is that woman for real? My mind has been boggled.
/r/MensRights13/03/10 04:37 AM
4

You're sampling from a profession that probably has an unusually high degree of body self-consciousness.
/r/MensRights13/03/10 04:30 AM
1

I'm betting RobeAndWizardHood's username isn't a coincidence.
/r/MensRights12/03/10 04:56 AM
2

numb3rb0y merely said that we do not have access to all the legal evidence, and so we would be wise to take the news article with a grain of salt. His comment was polite and meaty—in no way indicative of trolling (unless you expand trolling to mean expressing an unpopular opinion).
/r/MensRights09/03/10 04:18 AM
9

Feminists interested in repectful discourse are not downvoted.… Just like anyone here for reasonable discussion will be treated reasonably and anyone here to be unreasonable and treat others poorly will be downvoted as a result. numb3rb0y has been poorly treated despite making a fully respectful and reasonable comment, and he's not even expressing a feminist view. I am quite unconvinced that this subreddit is as fair and unbiased as you make it out to be.
/r/MensRights08/03/10 06:19 AM
4

My partner is what I primarily value in life, and it is impossible for me to see beyond that even in terms of self-gain.…[W]omen are more inclined to be wholly consumed by those feelings versus men who compartmentalize aspects of their life. That has not been my experience.
/r/MensRights07/03/10 07:58 PM
5

They essentially do that now by giving tax breaks to married couples. It's blatant discrimination against the unmarried.
/r/MensRights02/03/10 05:13 AM
16

I know a man who was raped by a woman while he was drunk. The other people at the party found it hilarious, and took pictures and laughed about it after the fact (which is how I found out). He was pretty screwed up by it and dropped out of his social life for a long time. These things do happen.
/r/MensRights01/03/10 06:39 PM
1

I'm glad you like introverted women; we need more love. It does get very tiresome having guys complain because you don't like talking on the phone, or because you aren't very exciting and spontaneous, or because you don't dress to attract attention in public, or because you rarely ask for help or advice, or because you simply don't provide enough drama in their lives. Even introverted men sometimes take issue with me—even men who complain about these very behaviors I don't exhibit. I just don't …
/r/MensRights27/02/10 07:19 PM
2

I'm female, and I'm the same way. I don't think it's a male-female thing. I suspect it's an introvert-extravert thing. For some reason, extraverted qualities are attributed to women more than men, which makes life pretty rough for introverted women like me. It does get tiresome being called cold, distant, and emotionless just because I seek out solitude and like to be alone in my thoughts, while my introverted guy friends—who behave exactly the same way—are spared such nonsense. (Meanwhile, my m…
/r/MensRights27/02/10 03:59 AM
2

It was probably one show that made the switch, and it was successful so there were copycats—and now it's just cliché, until some other successful show bucks the trend and inadvertently starts a new one. Edit: Also note that in The Simpsons, the mother isn't very bright either; the little girl is the sharpest. And on Family Guy, it's the dog! There seems to be a trend toward making your lowliest characters the "smart" ones, to act as a foil against the other characters.
/r/MensRights23/02/10 06:57 AM
1

It makes the boys look very scholarly—more like robes than dresses. I wouldn't mind this coming back into style.
/r/MensRights05/02/10 06:21 AM
2

That's definitely a concern. I still think that murder is such a big deal that we should be very cautious about punishing other crimes to a similar degree. No one deserves their last experience in life to be the pain and terror of rape.
/r/MensRights05/02/10 05:54 AM
3

That's a good point. Perhaps repeat offenders should have increasingly harsh punishments. I'd still worry about them killing later victims, though. Many serial murderers get into murder this way; their first couple victims often aren't killed, but later on they must kill in order to cover up their track. I wish there were an easy solution.
/r/MensRights05/02/10 04:42 AM
0

Women pee more often.
/r/MensRights05/02/10 04:24 AM
4

Personally, I'm against making charges for rape (or kidnapping, drug dealing, etc.) too strong, because it creates a very powerful incentive to silence witnesses. Rape is horrendous, but raping and then murdering your victim is many times worse. The punishment for murder should be much, much harsher than any other crime, so that criminals are less inclined to make that gamble.
/r/MensRights05/02/10 04:23 AM
4

Because people are accustomed to it and because people aren't objective. Human rights abuses are supposed to be shocking and disturbing. How can you be shocked and disturbed by something you've been familiar with all your life? That requires a very drastic change in perception, and it requires an inordinate degree of empathy and ethical consistency.
/r/MensRights02/02/10 07:30 AM
22

I'm female. As someone with a healthy libido, I absolutely cannot imagine what I would do if the hood of my clitoris (analogous to the foreskin) weren't there. It would ruin sex. I don't even touch my clit when I masturbate; it's all about the hood. But that is absolutely beside the point. The point is that everyone owns their own body and should have mastery over anything done to it. Medical emergencies are understandable, but elective body modification surgery—whether that be circumcision, sex…
/r/MensRights02/02/10 06:27 AM
1

Evolutionary history cannot be proven (can anything be?), but it is a useful scientific tool. If Species A and Species B share a trait, it can be hypothesized that their common ancestor also had that trait—and that other descendants of that ancestor are also likely to have that trait. This is the basis behind thousands of medical experiments performed on lab animals for the benefit of human health. And in evolutionary psychology, it aided in the recent discoveries that humans have sex pheromones…
/r/MensRights27/01/10 01:07 AM
1

"i think people do X because of Y" …is a hypothesis. "I observe X to happen after Y and conclude that X may have something to do with Y" …is a conclusion. "Hard" or "soft", every study has both.
/r/MensRights25/01/10 06:17 PM
1

These "soft sciences" do not lack rigor. They are simply poor at making predictions. Physics is a hard science because it is old enough that basic principles have been established and reduced down to scientific formulas. You can predict the bounce of a ball or the warping of a note played in an oblong room. "Soft sciences" are young, so their principles are not as established, and they are incredibly complex—much more so than Newtonian physics or basic chemistry. As such, the "soft sciences" are…
/r/MensRights25/01/10 05:55 PM
1

I think everyone hates aspects of their jobs. Depending on the person, sex may or may not be one of those aspects (I'd imagine the makeup, cameras, etc., to be much more grating). Either way, if they choose to do the work, good for them. We don't consider art degrading just because professional artists get tired of it every now and then.
/r/MensRights25/01/10 05:42 PM
6

I agree. Women who are pursuing a career they choose to pursue are empowered, aren't they? They are especially empowered for standing up against social taboos.
/r/MensRights23/01/10 06:01 AM
2

I'm not sure. It was through DFCS's foster care system. My parents have never complained about any money they might have lost, since they were just so happy to have me back. With my previous foster parents (not biological relatives), they kept everything my parents paid them, of course.
/r/MensRights31/12/09 12:32 AM
14

That's really sad. When my dad was paying child support to my grandparents (they fostered me for a couple years when I was little), they put all the money in a savings account for me and I went to college on it. That's the way child support should be done.
/r/MensRights30/12/09 05:31 PM
3

You don't now, but you probably did. Also, early childhood experiences have huge ramifications even if they aren't remembered. The first few years of a child's life are very important for personality and skill development, and early traumatic experiences undoubtedly have longterm consequences.
/r/MensRights25/12/09 04:00 AM
2

I agree. Harassment requires that you actually be doing something that understandably (e.g., they're not unusually paranoid) makes them feel very uncomfortable or trapped. Looking at someone should not constitute harassment—with exceptions. If you're peeking into someone's window, following them for purposes of staring, etc., then that can count as harassment (though not necessarily sexual). But normal looking should be fine. I've never heard of anyone getting into trouble for that.
/r/MensRights06/12/09 08:26 PM
12

Shit, what happens if you develop a shoe fetish? Should everyone in the office have to go around barefoot to avoid offending your sensibilities? If no one is saying or doing anything to you, it's not harassment.
/r/MensRights05/12/09 03:02 AM
1

I miss MensIssues. I used to read it (and even posted a link once or twice, which I never do) under my previous handle. You should reopen it!
/r/MensRights18/11/09 02:52 AM
1

Hehe, I don't actually drink alcohol (can't stand the taste, especially of beer), and I dress rather plainly and wear no makeup. I don't have a stereotypically feminine personality, but nor do I have a masculine personality. I seem to take after my dad, who's more the introverted, absent-minded-professor sort—which is certainly a male stereotype, but not exactly a masculine one. I also meet other women through men, but I do so very passively.
/r/MensRights16/11/09 04:02 AM
1

We sound very similar—especially in regards to neediness. I'm rather extremely introverted, so I can think the world of you and still have no desire to have anything to do with you beyond thinking quietly to myself about what a great friend you are. I don't mind needy people (or most anybody, really; I'm pretty easygoing), but I don't provide for their social needs, and so we tend not to have a lot to do with each other. What's interesting to me is that nearly all of my male friends (including b…
/r/MensRights16/11/09 03:26 AM
1

I do have scientific training (what led you to that conclusion, by the way?), although not that much; I'm preparing to enter grad school in the near future. I wonder if perhaps you're right. As an undergraduate, most of my fellow science majors were women, but it does seem that most of them hung out primarily with their guy friends. Of course, that could be an error on my part; since most of my friends are male, I primarily meet women through men, and that probably ups the likelihood that the wo…
/r/MensRights16/11/09 02:57 AM
1

I'm not really into football or other team sports and on top of that there's way too many guido douchebags out there. Are those the only reasons you have trouble bonding with men, or do you find that you get along better with women in general (controlling for sports and douchebags)? I'm female, and I've always been drawn to guys (in a platonic sense), even when I was a little kid on the playground. Sure, I have no interest in makeup and shopping and all that stereotypical tripe, but there are lo…
/r/MensRights15/11/09 07:55 AM
1

Hmm, I can't tell if you are being sarcastic. I know several women who pay alimony to their ex-husbands because they made more money, and I know one woman who decided not to divorce her husband because she would have had to pay extensive alimony (he is a stay-at-home husband, entirely dependent on her for support). Of course, most alimony payments are still made by men. Are you saying that we, as a society, should try to get more women in the workforce and in high-paying jobs to ensure greater e…
/r/MensRights02/11/09 06:40 PM
2

It's based on who makes the most money, not who has which genitalia. Nevertheless, I'm largely against alimony for extended periods. I do think it may sometimes be necessary on a temporary basis, as the less financially secure partner makes a transition back to single life (e.g., someone who has been financially dependent on his/her partner will need some kind of income for the couple months it takes him/her to find suitable employment).
/r/MensRights30/10/09 07:30 PM
5

I told my last (circumcised) boyfriend that I would never allow the circumcision of any son of mine until he was old enough to choose to get a tattoo (or other permanent, unnecessary body modification). My boyfriend at the time was appalled and said any son of his would be circumcised after birth, because it was "disgusting" not to. When he asked me to marry him, I turned him down, needless to say; he turned out way too controlling and emotionally manipulative, and it was pretty clear that kind …
/r/MensRights01/10/09 05:41 AM
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