PumpkinSufficient989 Archive

Upvotes	Title	Category	Author	Subreddit	Date (UTC)

Upvotes	Comment on	Subreddit	Date (UTC)
2	Is this the end? A difference in attachment styles? You're anxious, she's avoidant. You feel like something is wrong with her and want her to change - but that's just how she is. Don't know if yours is a single earner household or not. If she previously saw you as a provider for her and the children, and now you've been out of work for almost a year, she may be seeing it as you're no longer keeping up with your role. If she's "already made arrangements through friends", without telling you, well.. your marriage …	/r/Divorce_Men	26/07/26 10:53 AM
2	How do you all deal with the exhaustion? Are you... me?	/r/Divorce_Men	16/07/26 07:03 PM
7	How do you all deal with the exhaustion? Are you getting enough sleep? Gym helps, but only if you're giving your body a chance to recover. If you're not, prioritize sleep first. The way it's supposed to work, regular physical exercise is supposed to improve your sleep quality. Also make sure you don't have sleep apnea, snoring, and stuff like that. Stable, familiar, low-stress work should also be helping. Make sure you spend your weekends resting and doing fun activities, not reading divorce related literature or watching youtube video…	/r/Divorce_Men	16/07/26 07:02 PM
-1	I left her ... Why didn't you congratulate her on a promotion? Who cares if it was official or not... women like men who give them positive emotions. She worked hard, she earned something, and instead of positive reassurance she gets this "wait until it's official". Cold. Put yourself in her shoes. "We had serious talks and she hadn't changed" - you might have some homework to do before you get in another relationship. Womem don't respond to serious talks. Serious talks only kill whatever is left of attraction…	/r/Divorce_Men	16/07/26 03:15 AM
1	Love after marriage This is beautiful, and powerful. I can relate 100%. Thank you!	/r/Divorce_Men	12/07/26 05:58 PM
3	Everyone wins except the children After going through this myself, this is not fun. I'm very sorry. This will hurt. But you'll survive. This is the trajectory my now ex-wife chose as well. I don't know why. Was I a good husband? Probably not, but I think I was decent. I don't have an explanation why some women choose this path. Why they think they can unilaterally decide what's right for the children. In the end, it's important to remember that they are YOUR kids. They will come around. Sooner or later. Take this time to rebuild…	/r/Divorce_Men	10/07/26 11:30 PM
4	Going through a nasty divorce It sounds like you're at "anger" or "denial" stage of processing your grief. You need to get to "acceptance", even though you think you've accepted - you haven't. Typically, when a woman pulls the trigger like this, the time to work on fixing things has already passed. Yes, it always catches us men by surprise, and it's hard to accept, but we have to do it to move forward. Who she decides to be with now should not borher you. She has weighed her options, you were on one side of the scale and her…	/r/Divorce_Men	09/07/26 11:55 AM
1	My [40m] 5 year marriage to my wife [40F] just blew up and my wife ended up in jail and I don't know what to do. These are all valid points. Of course, if it's escalating - it's clear that we're talking real violence territory and something needs to be done. However... you've never thrown anything on the floor? Never felt like you wanted to punch a wall after months/years of constant gaslighting, guilt-tripping and needling by your partner, especially when they are good at this push-pull manipulation? Come on. Threw something on the floor during an argument => jail time? Is that what you're suggesting?	/r/Divorce_Men	01/07/26 03:07 AM
0	My [40m] 5 year marriage to my wife [40F] just blew up and my wife ended up in jail and I don't know what to do. Unpopular opinion... Not trying to justify her actions or anything, just kind of seems like we're so quick to call everything "domestic violence" these days. Have you seen victims of actual domestic violence? What people actually do to each other? To their loved ones? Cuts, bruises? When people are pushed to the edge, emotions run high, and there's no stopping them? You were having an argument. She got upset and threw an object. Was it thrown directly at you? Or in your general direction? Was th…	/r/Divorce_Men	30/06/26 10:19 PM
13	Divorce, breaking me down. Usually it doesn't take 1 person to f* up a relationship - it takes two. I think you're repeating her words when you say you were given all her time and "she decided I wasn't going to change"... I've heard this before, and it's bull*t. Who is she to decide everything? Women like to play this card with us nice reaponsible guys, because we allow it. We give them all the power, and then we're surprised when they use it against us. Just because you admit it, the way you put it in writing - this …	/r/Divorce_Men	15/06/26 02:15 AM
4	Any advice will help thank you So, she wanted a divorce but still went through IVF to get pregnant, and after she got pregnant, decided to go forward with the divorce? The timing makes no sense, but then women's hormonal shifts during pregnancy can make them completely crazy.	/r/Divorce_Men	14/06/26 07:19 PM
9	Ex Wanting Intimacy This is how you'll know you're fully healed: when these thoughts visit you again and you firmly mentally say "no, this will never happen again". I've gone through this with my ex during separation. After a long period of extreme toxicity, she came back, unannounced, and ready to go. We jumped into it and made a 180 degree turn toward reconciliation. It did not last long though. We ran out of steam in about 2 months. Couples counseling helped tremendously at first, but after 2 months she lost int…	/r/Divorce_Men	12/06/26 08:28 PM
3	Could I have salvaged my marriage? It takes two to tango. SHE has to be willing to save it, too - otherwise, it'll be a colossal waste of your (and hers) time and energy. But in terms of living arrangements, only seeing each other once a week may actually be very healthy. This way you can monitor the dynamic of your relationship and adjust as you see fit. Worst thing you can do is get attached to the outcome: I realized this was a mistake, you are the greatest thing that happened to me, let's work on our issues, I can't live with…	/r/Divorce_Men	07/06/26 10:27 PM
1	I won't give up Don't. Give. Up. You have to move on, carry on, and be successful for your own sake, and for the sake of your kids. Losing your life partner like this, unexpectedly, irreversibly, is like losing a limb. You have to heal the wound, learn to live without it, comfortably - and then eventually a new one will grow.	/r/Divorce_Men	05/06/26 12:32 AM
8	Breadwinner Wife You are being played. They are all about being friendly and cooperative until you sign on the dotted line. Then you go your separate ways, and your kids' time will be split between two homes. Hers, a quiet suburban home with a swimming pool, a Porsche in the driveway, nice furniture, cleaning lady, landscaper, takeout food, etc... And yours: a smallish home in a not-so-nice neighborhood, a plain simple car in the driveway, dad running around cleaning up, cutting grass, cooking food, asking to he…	/r/Divorce_Men	03/06/26 01:32 AM
2	When it’s Over I don't think the "when" is important. It's probably greatly dependent on personalities and the family dynamics anyway. As others have pointed out, it may not be over for the two of you... yet. She didn't initiate... did you? It's not clear from what you wrote whether you tried or were simply waiting for her to take the first step. Women are turned off by our passivity and turned on by us taking charge and being leaders. Take charge and reinvent yourself. Don't wait for immediate recognition and…	/r/Divorce_Men	01/06/26 11:45 PM
3	Can’t seem to break the cycle Read "Narcissistic women" by Caroline Foster and judge for yourself. Doesn't matter how much you give her, she will not be happy and will be trying to make your life hell. But it'll still be worth it. She will likely try to use your kids against you too.	/r/Divorce_Men	28/05/26 11:44 PM
2	Reasons to get divorded Read "The dead bedroom fix" by DSO (Ralph Brewer). It may be salvageable. Don't get into open marriage and other shit. It works for some people, but for most, it will not be the solution. The numbers don't lie. I am also skeptical about the "love language" stuff. The "love languages" book reads well, it's put together nicely, but I don't think there's a whole lot in terms of scientific foundation to it. It's mostly fluff. "The dead bedroom fix" is a more believable theory. It's also mostly fluff…	/r/Divorce_Men	26/05/26 09:22 PM
6	Always the same This is a self-limiting belief. You have to get rid of this thinking first, whatever it takes: hours at the gym, retreats, long hikes, bike rides, travel, whatever. Re-program your brain first. Many of us have made this mistake, at least I know I have: I know I'm not ready now, but I'll get on the apps anyway, and hopefully something will surface and boost my ego. Yeah, you will be matched, it will take a lot of energy to get somewhere, and then you realize that you're just not ready. You're doi…	/r/Divorce_Men	24/05/26 04:22 AM
7	Always the same Don't hide, that's the thing. Go to a decent restaurant, all by yourself. Have a nice dinner. Be positive, don't shy away. This is how you grow and recover. YOU are sufficient all by yourself. You are happy all by yourself. You don't need somebody else to be happy, or to complete you. Just let that sink in. It does require courage, practice, and for many (most) people, a paradigm shift. Then, once you feel comfortable with yourself, date women based on THAT foundation: that you are sufficient al…	/r/Divorce_Men	24/05/26 12:28 AM