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Purple-Poppins Archive

View 2 posts and 239 comments by Purple-Poppins on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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Upvotes Title Category Author Subreddit Date (UTC)
8

ADVICEPurple-Poppins/r/RedPillWives16/01/24 08:01 PM
6

SELF IMPROVEMENTPurple-Poppins/r/RedPillWomen23/01/24 08:55 PM
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
3

It's actually 18 months after childbirth it is recommended to try for another. This allows the body to fully heal and replenish depleted nutrients. Many women don't get their period back and can't get pregnant even if they want to for the first 4-6 months if they are nursing.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/09/25 08:34 AM
2

I've read through a fair bit of the comments and I would like to challenge one part of your premise: You repeatedly assert that "One income is not enough for a comfortable lifestyle in most of the world" To the degree that this may be true it is likely due to market distortions caused by the subsidies you suggest eliminating. The market rate of any wage is determined by the cost of living for at least an individual. That cost of living is skewed by individuals receiving subsidies. To put it simp…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/25 05:54 PM
2

That can be avoided with sufficient communication and a foundation of mutual values and a shared vision of what the life you are building should look like. That horror story does happen, but always because those partners relied on assumptions rather than communication and the story in their heads broke down when confronted with the reality of humanity. There are real life stories both sadder and happier than that, but you have the most important role in determining what your relationship is by n…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/08/25 11:11 PM
1

Maybe a second date, probably not a third though because there's just multiple points that wouldn't be a good fit. Like many people have already said - neurosurgery is a really tough field. I have worked for a neurosurgeon and I dont think I could handle the lack of availability for family life that usually comes with that career. There's also a god complex that you almost have to have in order to thrive in that field and I have seen that make them very difficult partners. As for the splitting t…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/10/24 05:52 PM
5

No, it's just recognizing that you aren't the kind of partner that would be good for a neurosurgeon. Most of the time "Its not a good fit" doesnt secretly mean "Fuck you"
/r/PurplePillDebate19/10/24 05:46 PM
9

Studies show that for women, the importance of physical attraction is almost completely mitigated by knowing a man for more than 6 months. Women tend to weight personality traits as more important the longer they know a guy So the real question here is why don't more average looking men make peace with "the friend zone" when it would statistically improve their chances of a woman finding them attractive? It's not something that happens in 1-3 dates. It takes time that requires actually being fri…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/10/24 03:03 AM
3

A hobosexual is a person who dates for housing. Its a comparable term to golddigger in that they both describe dating for the purpose of economic exploitation. There are both men and women who use romance as a means to secure economic security. The way you screen for that is by not offering up large gifts, money, or cohabitating early in a relationship so that people only interested in gaining from you materially will not want to waste their time with you. Are you worried that a woman might be a…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/03/24 06:49 PM
4

Golddigging men are more likely to be termed "hobosexuals"
/r/PurplePillDebate22/03/24 06:38 PM
1

All human interactions have an element of what you can provide. Sometimes that just means: Good conversation Intellectual stimulation Companionship Emotional support Dating involves finding someone who provides things you don't provide for yourself, ideally in exchange for contributing things they don't have to their life. That's true regardless of gender.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/03/24 06:37 PM
1

The difference between ethical nonmonogamy and unethical nonmonogamy is whether or not it is ethical. Meaning whether or not all partners are knowingly and consensually engaging in nonmonogamy. Cheating is by definition unethical.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/03/24 06:26 PM
2

I will cosign the existence of conservative polyamorous folk. They tend to like the swinging culture more, but often seek closed triads.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/03/24 06:19 PM
1

Unethical nonmonogamy
/r/PurplePillDebate22/03/24 06:10 PM
10

If you're working 60 hours a week while they're little, you're probably only getting to see your kids on weekends, maybe a goodnight kiss during the week.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/03/24 11:24 AM
–

Both men and women get poached from relationships where their partner got complacent and stopped growing/improving. Couples are often fairly well matched when they first get together, but when one person keeps growing, learning, and improving, but the other is content to stay the same, eventually the imbalance is too much and the higher value partner becomes vulnerable to poaching. You cant use a relationship as an excuse to stop growing and expect to keep it.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/03/24 08:00 AM
3

Do you think it is possible that it has more to do with them filming their approaches than simply making them? Ill check out some YouTube videos, but I cant help but think that if I was a business owner and some guy was recording his friend asking out every woman who came in the store, I would probably ask him to either stop or leave.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/03/24 07:49 AM
5

Those are all results of not accepting rejection, not results of simply asking in the first place. If someones behavior becomes harassing or rises to the point of gaining the notice of security or police, they should really re-assess their method of approach. Perhaps the rejection rate could be reduced by being less aggressive.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/03/24 07:21 AM
6

If I went around asking out 500 complete strangers, there would certainly be social consequences, and possibly even jail time. Where is this fear coming from? Where are you that asking a stranger out is risking jail time? What are you doing when asking them out that risks jail time?
/r/PurplePillDebate19/03/24 07:04 AM
2

What are you doing to display to prospective partners that you would be a good long term pick? Youve invested a lot in improving short term game, but what's your long term approach? In RP terms, if youve got your Alpha game covered, you gotta add in some Beta until you attract the right long term woman. Alpha traits are only gonna get you so far, mostly in attracting hookups. What makes you husband material though, and how are you displaying that. Just because you plan to buy a house for your fu…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/03/24 07:28 PM
2

Well then he needs to get straight on what he wants. He is putting in effort to attract women for hookups and he is succeeding, hes just not happy that all they want is hookups. So either change approach or change target.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/03/24 07:20 PM
2

He did specify in the post that he is unsatisfied with hookups and feels he should "at least" have someone who wants to have his children.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/03/24 07:17 PM
4

Most college athletes, hollywood stars, influencers do this. My fertility is okay and going nowhere And many of them do in fact end up dealing with fertility issues. Testosterone and steroids both have well established negative impacts on sperm production. I just hope that your confidence is founded in actual evidence (such as a relatively recent sperm analysis) rather than just confidence. As far as it going nowhere, thats also a very shaky claim. Male fertility declines with age and continued …
/r/PurplePillDebate17/03/24 07:16 PM
8

$100 a week on Trebolone. $50 a week on testosterone. damaged her body through alcohol and drugs. Her kids will likely suffer from fetal alcohol syndrome. all I get is casual encounters with women, not even a family with children. Not to be harsh, but are you sure you can father children? I would honestly be worried about your fertility if you're spending $600+/month on steroids and testosterone supplements. None of this behavior signals that you are interested in a committed relationship or chi…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/03/24 06:44 PM
3

I am about 70lb heavier than when my partner and I met. I have also had 2 kids back to back and my body stays heavy when Im nursing. It bothers me more than it bothers my partner. He has noted that he is surprised that it doesnt really matter to him because his red-pill father always told him a woman's weight is a reflection of how much she loves you, and he was told it would bother him, but it doesn't.
/r/RedPillWomen25/02/24 10:06 PM
–

Markets exist regardless of the system they are in. There is no world in which a sexual market does not exist unless humans stop pairing up altogether.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/02/24 01:58 AM
1

Quick disclaimer before I offer any advice: I divorced a man like this in my early twenties without having any kids together (involved infertility and his lack of ambition to even overcome that). I am going to assume divorce is off the table because you want children and you are 35. I think it would be beneficial for both of you if you sat down and fleshed out what kind of roles could work for both of you in your relationship going forward in order to make sure those of you feel accepted and sup…
/r/RedPillWives14/02/24 03:14 PM
4

Polygamy? No. Polyamory, absolutely. Especially with the number of women interested in having children dropping, families in the future will normalize more adults. I dont think theres much likelihood of a widespread norm of maintaining sexual double standards in relationship agreements. Is future polyamorous setups the women will typically also be free to have additional partners. I think you will see that the highest quality men will be able to keep multiple female partners who have little or n…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/02/24 01:39 PM
1

I think we need to view the term "hookup culture" like the term "rape culture". It doesnt mean that everyone or even a sizeable group of people are hooking up or raping, it means that the overall culture is one that enables hookups or rapes. It doesn't even mean that those things are socially acceptable or celebrated, just that they are facilitated and/or tolerated in many ways by that culture.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/02/24 03:03 PM
2

I think you could both benefit from a vision of a better future to work towards. Reading your responses on the thread it sounds like you both have depression. I would suggest that in place of some of the mutual complaining, you try collaboratively dreaming. You are both very clear on what you don't like about your current situation, but how often do you allow yourselves to fantasize about what a good life looks like in the future? Allowing yourselves to dream of a better future gives you an imag…
/r/RedPillWomen04/02/24 01:27 PM
1

You need to go to r/askmrp to post
/r/RedPillWives01/02/24 10:43 PM
2

if finances were very comfortable and healthcare was solid and you had a supportive spouse/partner/family, how many children do you think you'd like to have? Probably 5, but I hate being pregnant, so Id pay for a surrogate for at least 2 of them. Has this been a contentious issue in past or present relationships? Not contentious, but I did have an ex who turned out to be infertile and wasnt willing to earn money to pay for IVF, so that ended up leading to our divorce. Have your views changed on …
/r/RedPillWomen01/02/24 04:41 PM
2

Because nature favors variety. Its probably a combination of biological differences and social influence. Why are some people polyamorous? Even long before modern polyamory, most cultures have had a subset that engaged in multiple long term relationships simultaneously. What comes naturally to some people feels very foreign to others.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/01/24 01:34 PM
2

I said RMV not SMV
/r/PurplePillDebate29/01/24 01:53 AM
2

Relationship Market Value is separate from, but related to Sexual Market Value. A high n-count for either sex lowers your RMV because it is a signifier that you may be more likely to cheat
/r/PurplePillDebate29/01/24 01:36 AM
1

Im asking for a source because the studies I have seen repeatedly show that men have a higher average number of sexual partners, and you speak with such confidence I assumed you had a source that backed up your assertion. So yes, I would appreciate a source that substantiates your claim.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/01/24 08:56 PM
-1

Most women in America have more sex than the men Source?
/r/PurplePillDebate27/01/24 08:43 PM
1

The age gap of my relationships decreased as I got older. At 17 I dated a 24 year old for several years, but at 23 I married a guy my same age, and at 29 I partnered with a man a year and a half younger. I am still typically attracted to men 6-8 years older than me though.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/01/24 04:16 PM
2

The only ethical option you mentioned is the swinging arrangement. If you want to have both an exclusive romantic relationship and have casual sex, you just have to seek out a partner who wants the same, which means a swinger. As many other commenters have already pointed out, bullying, entitlement, and one sided agreements are not ethical, even if people call it ethical. That's just misrepresenting the situation. I am actually in favor of swinging and open relationships for late bloomers. I thi…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/01/24 03:12 PM
10

So youre friends with women in the promiscuous minority. Cool stuff. Do your female friends frequent this subreddit?
/r/PurplePillDebate27/01/24 02:24 PM
11

I think that women have a certain sense of disgust (or ick) towards fuck boys because it is a sign of low conscientiousness. A high n-count man is likely a man who is more likely to cheat. Attractive or not, that's an unattractive quality for a long term partner.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/01/24 02:20 PM
130

I think the women on this sub are pretty strongly biased towards Long Term Relationships. Fuck boys do well with women interested in short term relationships. Studies show that hookup culture is a minority of both sexes mostly hooking up with each other.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/01/24 03:19 AM
1

I dont work a corporate job, so I only wear makeup when I want to, which is typically if I am speaking to an audience or going out for the evening. In both cases it helps complete the look.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/01/24 09:18 PM
2

Swinging culture is made up almost entirely of long term couples. A LOT of them have a combination of just generally high openness and a desire to sleep around without wanting to do so single
/r/PurplePillDebate26/01/24 01:05 PM
5

It means she has yet to figure out how she is the common denominator in her series of failed relationships. Either she is doing something to break them or she is failing to appropriately vet them. Im not reading through your entire limerent history to find the small relevant point, but please feel free to point it out.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/01/24 12:43 PM
16

The difference is intention going into the relationship. Serial monogamists intend each relationship to be long term. Theyre not starting the relationship with the intention of discarding it.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/01/24 12:22 PM
1

Just find someone who is interested in swinging
/r/PurplePillDebate26/01/24 12:16 PM
2

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/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/24 08:58 PM
3

The emotional and psychological discomfort of adjusting to a husband with a provider mindset can be really hard. It almost seems silly, but I struggled extensively with feeling guilty when my partner paid off my credit debt. I remember thinking so many times that my relationship should not be materially benefitting me. It helped to shift my mindset from feeling guilty for how he takes care of me financially to thinking about how I can ensure he is benefiting from our relationship too. Finding wa…
/r/RedPillWomen25/01/24 08:05 PM
8

Have you attained nirvana? Yes? Clearly the cause of your suffering is your attachment to sex. Practice mindful detachment and foster equanimity. 🧘🏼‍♀️
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/24 07:50 PM
1

I wonder if the perception is biased due to the difference in male and female mate poaching techniques. Men and women both poach mates at comparable rates, but women are much more direct in their poaching, often directly pointing out how she is superior to his current partner (Think the Avril Lavigne song "Girlfriend"). Men poach in a completely opposite way. Successfully poaching a woman from a relationship means becoming a friend who is both overtly respectful of her relationship boundaries AN…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/01/24 01:19 PM
5

Im not claiming all of those qualities personally. Im not into video games and havent been in school for over a decade, so Im not sure what popular even means in an adult context unless you mean fame. But none of those qualities are all that unusual. Fame is typically more based on talent or accomplishment than simply having a list of positive attributes. Also, everyone thinks they're more intelligent than average. It's a well established human bias. Theres lot of reasons people waste time onlin…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/01/24 07:45 AM
3

Im sure there's plenty of room in those qualities for humanizing flaws
/r/PurplePillDebate24/01/24 07:10 AM
1

Idk, I have TikTok, friend groups, and still enjoy long form internet forums. I find Reddit to be a good balance for TikTok actually.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/01/24 07:08 AM
3

Maybe dimensions of beauty would have been a better phrase. By that I mean there is skincare, makeup, thinness, fitness, haircare, hair styling, clothing styling, posture, even body modifications.
/r/RedPillWomen23/01/24 09:33 PM
17

Accurate. I'm here partially because it generally falls within my interests and because my FIL is old school MRA/RedPill and it helps me understand how my partner was raised.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/01/24 06:22 PM
19

Maintaining some kind of interests outside of your kids is critical when they're tiny to avoid becoming the woman who has nothing else to talk about
/r/PurplePillDebate23/01/24 10:41 AM
3

Also a polyam relationship here, so for my relationship cheating is any romantic or sexual contact you have hidden or lied about. We are functionally monogamous because we don't have the time for any other relationships at the moment, but the security of our relationship is based on having actually talked through where the line is in a variety of different contexts.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/01/24 12:52 AM
1

Thats a fairly wide range, but they have to be able to have a safe sex and sexual preferences conversation and we have to have at least some overlap. Also a clear standard STD panel since their last partner. We also need to have something nonsexual in common generally. Even with perfect sexual chemistry, I need to have a conversation too. Finally, he has to have shown that he can accept a "no" before Im okay saying yes. If Im going to continue having sex with him, an ability to last long enough …
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/24 07:03 PM
1

Is this standards for any man I would have sex with or standards for a man I would only want to have sex with?
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/24 06:50 PM
1

I think for straight women it's split between men and children as the primary motivator. But then again theres a growing population of childfree man-free women just working for their lifestyle.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/24 01:49 PM
1

And for most of human history, If you could be guy number 1, you had a really good shot of leaving a few kids in your wake. Birth control and abortion should have drastically reduced that though. I really think birth control has twisted the effectiveness of these primal strategies significantly, but I dont know if our higher thinking is sufficient to fully work around biological impulse.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/01/24 10:09 PM
4

Oh Im not saying its good strategy, just offering alternative interpretation
/r/PurplePillDebate20/01/24 09:56 PM
5

It does lose the biological game that everyone is supposedly playing in the SMP though. I share your fascination in this commitment that red pill men have to being man number one even if it means a genetic dead end.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/01/24 09:41 PM
2

Just a thought, but maybe she also doesn't want to have more than 1 sexual partner at a time. The FWB relationship is intended to be temporary, but she still may not want to end it until she is sure she is going to enter a committed relationship.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/01/24 09:38 PM
8

That was also my first thought. Dick so good you forget how bad the rest of the relationship/person is
/r/PurplePillDebate19/01/24 05:17 AM
9

I think learning about the typical phases of a long term relationship (limerance, disillusionment, adjustment, commitment, acceptance, stability, etc) as well as the physical effects of pregnancy and childbirth if you're planning to have kids (hormonal shifts and physical recovery) goes a long way. If you know what to expect as far as ebbs and flows, you can be proactive in fostering intimacy when its needed more, and have a healthy view of the times when sex isnt available or is more infrequent…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/01/24 01:21 AM
12

Yes, perhaps there is an overlap between women who maintain low to zero n-counts and women who just aren't that into sex.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/01/24 01:01 AM
–

I dont think ive ever been accused of being soft spoken, but I am a professional domestic, and sometimes you get guys who are attracted to exactly what they were told not to be. So you get a traditional guy who's into purple-haired girls with loud opinions. It's a good thing people are varied.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/01/24 12:37 AM
1

My partner and I have talked about this at length, because I would prefer to have sex then deep talk, where he prefers to deep talk and then have sex. For both of us connection makes the sex way better. For me, sex is a quick and easy way to get to connection, and I am very open to very deep conversations easily after. My emotional guard is already down at that point. For my partner, he needs conversation to bring his guard down, and once he feels that connected and close, he naturally wants to …
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/24 02:31 PM
1

I agree with your general sentiment regarding emotional maturity, but I do want to add that men experience a physiological reaction to women crying that women do not. When men describe their intense discomfort around a woman crying, it's not just an emotional discomfort. It is also the feeling of a sudden drop in testosterone levels
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/24 02:21 PM
2

how much benefit do you think is done to men when their partner labels their emotions for them? Are they able to process and get over their emotions faster, or would the be able to process it and get over it just as easily. In my experience, they do tend to process better and faster with that help. Without their female partners, some men have friends (ideal), and some men just suppress their emotions and dont process them at all, but rather assume that if theyre suppressed well enough, then they…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/01/24 08:47 PM
3

I actually agree with you here. The most common therapy models are not useful for men. Men are much better served by having a group of close friends they can talk to. Unfortunately, a lot of men don't have that either or worse have friends who actively punish and discourage open sharing and vulnerability. I genuinely believe that for most people, if you have a healthy group of friends who you can trust to be honest with you and a baseline level of self awareness, you don't need a therapist most …
/r/PurplePillDebate17/01/24 02:29 PM
0

I am speaking to the experience women have when they say they are creeped out. Not the experience men have when witnessing a woman being creeped out. Men are not sensitive to threats from other men in the same way women are. To understand if you are being creepy you have to be able to understand the womens perspective.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/01/24 11:56 AM
3

Thats fair. Men dont go to therapists though, they go to their wives and girlfriends. ESPECIALLY men who dont have enough male friends.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/01/24 09:09 AM
3

Expressing emotions is not the same thing as labeling and interpreting those emotions, which is usually a skill women are taught in childhood more than men since women are expected to be more emotionally. I think I understand what you mean in regards to men who feel they cant talk at all about their emotions to their partner without being told to "man up" or otherwise just repress those emotions? Do you think those men are also labeling and interpreting their partners emotions, or more just prov…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/01/24 09:02 AM
6

Emotional literacy is the ability to recognize and name your own emotions. So that would look like a guy getting upset because he feels "bad" about an interaction he had with a coworker. He comes home and is behaving generally emotionally waiting for me to say "Hey you look like you're upset. What happened at work today" and then listening to what happened while offering labels as to how that likely made him feel. "Wow that sounds like it would have been very frustrating." "Oh I bet that felt he…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/01/24 08:53 AM
3

✅Wear Sexy Things ✅Do things that make you feel sexy I can definitely work from that
/r/RedPillWives17/01/24 02:06 AM
3

I had a great 3 months between weaning my oldest and getting pregnant again and I miss that effortless desire! My second is nursing much better, but that also means longer, and Im just so over not being in the mood much. Good to hear that prioritizing even before its good again worked for you too. Thats been our approach and it seems to really improve around 6mpp.
/r/RedPillWives17/01/24 02:05 AM
6

They feel connected. They conflate connection with sex. If youre also feeling it, it can be really good sex.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/01/24 01:48 AM
11

I think the most important thing I have found is that you should ideally be at comparable places regarding emotional maturity. Long term relationships do a really good job of bringing up parts of yourself that may not be the best, and growing in a relationship with someone involves having someone who you can open up to about the things in your life you arent happy with, and together you can probe what underlies a belief or behavior and how to heal and become the people you hope to be. Its a mutu…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/01/24 01:45 AM
18

I thought that too til I checked the post history
/r/RedPillWomen16/01/24 10:48 PM
12

No, youre not doomed, but youre not focusing on long term qualities either, so youre gonna keep getting short term men.
/r/RedPillWomen16/01/24 10:24 PM
9

Looking at your post history, the first thing you need to do is work on your mindset and your self image. Youre nowhere near "too old" despite what the toxic mens sub might make you think. Youre not ugly, and frankly you dont look any fatter than I have been most of my life and I have never had a hard time getting a relationship. I say this with all the compassion I can: Until you find something in yourself you believe is valuable, you will not be able to have a good relationship with a man. Eve…
/r/RedPillWomen16/01/24 10:24 PM
87

Youve been spending way too much time on the mens sub
/r/RedPillWomen16/01/24 10:09 PM
-1

in her vicinity while being shabbily dressed wearing “serial killer glasses” Do you not see how that might come off ambiguously threatening? Ambiguous means it's not clear one way or the other. Im not saying those men ARE threatening, but theyre not coming across safe either.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/01/24 08:05 PM
2

The morality of the situation can be much improved by having sufficient communication ahead of time. Both parties should be consenting with the knowledge of what the other would prefer in case of unintended outcomes. I think its immoral to have sex with someone who would want to abort a pregnancy resulting from that sex if you are not in agreement. If you dont know what the person would want in case of unintended pregnancy, you dont know enough about them to give informed consent to that risk. I…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/01/24 07:47 PM
–

He pays the bills and gives me a credit card of his for day to day expenses. I also have my own account for any money I earn, and I default to using that money day to day when I have it. I do all of the child care during the week, 95% of the cooking, laundry, and he also pays for a biweekly cleaner. Since we currently have 2 under 2, my earning ability is severely limited, but when I am able to make more, I have and will contribute to our joint savings.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/01/24 06:51 PM
–

household expenses can be done with separate account You mean like a joint account so everyone in the household can use it?
/r/PurplePillDebate16/01/24 06:44 PM
13

Next time a guy says its your fault he cant cum fast enough, ask him how much porn he watches. Theres a good chance thats the problem, not you. I have yet to meet a man with that problem who wasn't masturbating and/or watching porn way too much.
/r/RedPillWomen16/01/24 05:32 PM
4

Agree it's insecurity. That was a comment designed to either get you to say he's the biggest youve ever been with or to get to feel ashamed that your sex life has permanently altered your body (which it hasnt).
/r/RedPillWomen16/01/24 05:16 PM
4

We were friends and coworkers for a very long time and gradually got to know each other more and more. One time we were hanging out, the conversation turned to sexual preferences and we learned that we were basically perfectly matched regarding those preferences, so we had a conversation about sexual history, expectations, and preferences, and decided to have kinky sex in the way we matched up. It was fantastic, and it was also safe sex that was very carefully negotiated. This lead to spending e…
/r/RedPillWomen16/01/24 05:13 PM
1

Autism may be a good example of an outlier, but the other examples you gave are actually legitimate threat signals. I'm just saying that men who are called creepy should make an effort to appear safer, and women are actually going to be a better source for learning what that looks like than talking to other men.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/01/24 04:37 PM
0

Creepiness is an ambiguous threat. Women are much more attuned to potential threats in the environment, particularly from men. It is an unfortunate reality of being the larger sex that men may be seen as potentially threatening. Generally, that creepiness is not coming from nowhere, but rather from behaviors the man himself considers innocuous, but the woman feeling creeped out finds vaguely threatening. If you find that you were being called creepy, then reflecting on how you are being perceive…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/01/24 04:32 PM
5

Im also still trying to figure out if my partner is Alpha or Beta. Hes 6'2" and a high earner chock full of confidence which obviously makes him the Alpha I married after leaving my Beta ex husband (who i was the primary breadwinner for but that doesnt matter apparently), but he also supports me and our 2 children as the sole earner and we have a deeply emotional connection and commitment, but hes not the type I usually go for physically, so hes obviously Beta.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/01/24 03:17 PM
1

Red Pill content has convinced guys that anyone a woman wants in a long term relationship is a "Beta" she only wants to use. Those same guys are then angry that theyre not able to automatically fuck anyone they want as an "Alpha" because plenty of women are only interested in commitment before sex. The thing is that red pill is just about what are your biological basic urges and women have for a very very long time in human history been expected as a baseline to control their biological urges, e…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/01/24 02:55 PM
1

It really isn't something that is a big issue as long as it's presented up front. It's only a big issue when you go through all of the expected trust thresholds and then pull out this insecurity. Most people are actually very amenable to dealing with insecurities as long as they knew about them up front. And a woman who has a problem with that up front is probably a red flag anyways.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/01/24 01:41 PM
2

You are free to institute that policy in your personal life to assuage all concerns. Probably best to let the woman know before you risk pregnancy though, just to prevent misunderstanding.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/01/24 12:52 PM
1

In a world of birth control and paternity tests it is willful ignorance
/r/PurplePillDebate16/01/24 12:38 PM
1

I'm naturally attracted to quiet guys but not necessarily for their confidence. I have good chemistry with loud confidence people
/r/PurplePillDebate16/01/24 02:03 AM
7

Nonmonogamy is always an option and in todays world, birth control and paternity tests exist, so there's not a really good excuse why men should be able to have multiple partners but not women. Men are just as capable of bonding through sex and women are just as capable of compartmentalization. As a matter of practicality, I think some people would accept nonmonogamy as part of having a very high value partner, but for others it would be a dealbreaker. Cheating is never a good idea though, becau…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/01/24 01:56 AM
0

Would you categorize the men in relationships where they have an income in exchange for being cared for as children too?
/r/PurplePillDebate15/01/24 08:47 PM
2

No judgement how he secures the bag
/r/PurplePillDebate15/01/24 06:50 PM
1

Actually they're generally the opposite. Theyre guys who were raised with a redpill mentality from their dads who have learned that its okay to be vulnerable and acknowledge your humanity with safe people. So they developed that tough exterior they were told they had to have, but have learned that it isnt actually necessary all the time. The emotional side gets damaged by the enforced gender role where anger/agression are the only outlet for negative feelings. Overcoming this is the biggest obst…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/01/24 05:56 PM
1

He does have a little too much bro energy lol
/r/PurplePillDebate15/01/24 04:16 PM
1

https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZT8bXoFWB/ How about this one? I think hes more attractive
/r/PurplePillDebate15/01/24 03:03 PM
3

In the hopes he will be able to make money off of a following
/r/PurplePillDebate15/01/24 03:02 PM
1

https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZT8bXoFWB/ Same concept, but this guy seems more masculine to me
/r/PurplePillDebate15/01/24 03:02 PM
11

Interesting, I saw it as taking some of the free time she has afforded him to try to create a marketable skill. There are a few stay at home husbands who have good social media followings doing videos like this. I see it the same as stay at home wives who make videos. It requires a tough skin to post yourself online, and in 2024 it is sometimes a way to bring in money too.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/01/24 02:57 PM
4

If she has stay at home husband money I think this is amazing. He is supporting his captain as a great first mate while also pursuing his interests (he noted a few hours of computer work there). The dynamic is a great one and it doesn't need to be so strictly gendered. I think a lot of the people who would say this is emasculating would also find his wife "too masculine". Sometimes people exist outside of the norms and they find love too.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/01/24 02:54 PM
-2

I will dutifully inform several men in my life that they are in fact impossible beings
/r/PurplePillDebate15/01/24 12:44 AM
–

I think there is sometimes a conflation of "settling" and "settling down". In both cases, there is a change of standards, but settling indicates a general lowering of standards to make acquisition of a partner easier, and settling down indicates shifting priority to long term compatibility over short term attraction (which is different, not lower, sometimes higher even). Most people who enter a LTR settle down, but that doesn't mean that they're settling in their choice of long term partner.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/01/24 10:33 PM
3

If Satan is a man, so is God
/r/PurplePillDebate13/01/24 09:08 PM
14

No, it gives her more responsibility if the sex results in a conception which a lot of sex doesn't. They have equal responsibility in the decision to have sex. Just because men don't care what happens after doesn't mean they're not responsible for their own choices.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/01/24 08:42 PM
11

Thats when his agency in the matter ends actually. Everything before that, he is in control of his own actions and consent. After he leaves his genetic material inside someone elses body, his role ends until if and when a child results from his choices. The only difference is that the conception after that only takes place in the woman's body. Only the woman bears the risks of continuing the pregnancy and birthing the child. There is no risk to the man and his body is not involved in the pregnan…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/01/24 08:21 PM
9

How is it not 50/50 split when each of the two people involved have their own agency and consent? Even if a woman demands that a man not use a condom, he is still very very free and able to say "No thanks, this isnt a good choice for me" Both parties have to say "yes" for the act that leads to conception. They are both consenting to the risk of conception.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/01/24 08:12 PM
-5

Agreed that submission is not the word to use. I prefer how RPW looks at the topic, often referring to a Captain/First Mate relationship model. A good captain relies heavily on his first mate and confers with them on issues of importance, and a first mate is chosen for their ability to have good judgement when the captain is unavailable and provides a different perspective. Sometimes you have a drunk captain who makes unpredictable dangerous irrational choices, or a tyrannical captain who doesn'…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/01/24 01:41 PM
1

I would have a lot more children if I only had to pay for and raise them but someone else grows them? Sign me up! It would suck a lot more for my partner since he would no longer be sexually attracted to his coparent anymore. That would be a hit to our romantic partnership as well. So he would probably look for a childfree secondary and we would have to renegotiate for more kids if I can find a woman who wants to help add to our family.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/01/24 04:42 AM
–

Just think of it as a game he wants to play with you. He knows it will make him want to help out more, and he knows youre doing it because he asked you to. If the result is that he helps you more often and enjoys doing so more, then its a game worth playing.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/01/24 04:08 AM
1

What source are you using for your cheating rate?
/r/PurplePillDebate13/01/24 03:47 AM
2

Most women work while pregnant, especially with their first child. And as someone who hated being pregnant though, a guy who enables you to just be pregnant (especially in that 3rd trimester) and not have to work is definitely an attractive feature. Its not quite as hot as a dad kneeling down to help a toddler tie their shoes, but its up there.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/01/24 10:11 PM
1

Pronatalist.org
/r/PurplePillDebate12/01/24 09:03 PM
9

This is the key. ^ You have to think relationally, not transactionally. Sometimes in a relationship you will be giving more paying more doing more. But that's okay because at some point in the future you will also be taking more and needing more and spending more.
/r/RedPillWomen12/01/24 06:00 PM
3

There is already a movement to decriminalize sex work. Men can certainly support that existing movement and attend those protests. I dont think it would be received well for men to create their own group advocating for decriminalized sex work.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/01/24 05:55 PM
3

I would absolutely post on that thread
/r/RedPillWomen12/01/24 05:47 PM
2

The men yearn for the battlefield deep in their soul
/r/PurplePillDebate12/01/24 02:14 PM
1

I'm coming to the red pill content from an anthropology and family psychology background, so it's fascinating to me to see data I'm very familiar with used to build different rhetoric. Macken Murphy, Esther Perel, and even Helen Fischer all talk about the same biological concepts as Rollo Tomasi and other TRP names, just through a different lens. Hell, even The Ethical Slut and other polyamory materials reference the biological basis of pair bonding and attraction. I have a special interest in f…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/01/24 04:12 AM
2

I see the main impacts of BC as *Lowering the risk of casual sex for women, opening up the possibility to have sex that wont lead to reproduction because hey, women like sex too sometimes. Historically the risk of pregnancy was a HUGE drag on female sexuality. Now we can have the sex without the babies! And *Birth control fucks with female mate attraction
/r/PurplePillDebate12/01/24 03:55 AM
2

Population collapse is not necessarily an Armageddon event. It will likely result in a redesign of the economies if most major countries, but the idea that indefinite constant growth is/was desirable or sustainable is just silly. The population will redistribute and mass migrations will become normal. As far as tradcons reproducing faster than progressives, I agree that looks like the obvious trend, but there is a pronatalist movement within progressivism that is a cool rebrand of classic progre…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/01/24 03:37 AM
2

IDK, sometimes my partner and I speculate about the lost potential that comes with these kinds of digital outsourcing. Progress is built on competition. There was a time where you had to build literal cities if you wanted to be able to see a hundred naked women for your own pleasure. Men have done amazing things ultimately to impress women in the course of human history. Now you can access that same variety with zero effort. What might have been if the incentive wasnt completely devalued. FWIW, …
/r/PurplePillDebate12/01/24 03:21 AM
13

I think video games do serve a similar function for a lot of young men by satiating their desire for competition and accomplishment. No need to accomplish anything in the real world, your brain is just as happy to get its dopamine from virtual success. Anthropology has long recognized that sports are a way for men to safely engage in violence, aggression, and competition in times when they didn't need to go to war. Video games are a natural progression of that same idea.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/01/24 01:47 AM
1

MRP and RPW seem to take that approach for sure. TRP is full of angry black and white thinking from what Ive seen. I'm sure there's a bigger community with better representation, but like many groups, the loud people at the front make everyone else look bad.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/01/24 12:51 AM
0

"Beta" qualities are a poor way of categorizing traits that women favor for long term relationships. Of course women want those qualities in a committed partner. "Alpha" qualities are a poor way of categorizing traits women favor for short-term mating. Women are generally looking for a combination of short term attraction and long term partnership in one person. (Dare I say, like men do too) Theres nothing mutually exclusive about "Alpha" and "Beta" qualities. (Except when "Beta" is being used t…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/01/24 02:56 PM
9

When you said "Most men." In the comment I replied to
/r/PurplePillDebate11/01/24 12:42 PM
4

Its actually based on a 10 year success rate, but second and third marriages are way more likely to fail
/r/PurplePillDebate11/01/24 12:41 PM
10

Its almost half of the rate you quoted, and less than half of all marriages does not equal most.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/01/24 09:36 AM
10

40%
/r/PurplePillDebate11/01/24 09:30 AM
2

Im the last couple of years Roomba has started advertising pet friendly bots that can sense poop. They were so proud of fixing that problem, but I think it still gets stuck on black carpet.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/01/24 12:02 AM
1

I do actually know several poly couples who have been together for more than a decade. I also agree that for the vast majority of people, it's not a good relationship model. However, I also think it's silly to compare the breakup rate of poly relationships to the breakup rate of monogamous relationships because monogamous relationships fail incredibly often too. I think a decent amount of the polyamorous community is people who see it as an opportunity to not have to regulate their desires, when…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/01/24 07:38 PM
3

the whole reason i like sex is the intimacy and connection w another person! Connection and intimacy can be had without overdoing the attachment system, but it requires a lot of finesse and carefully managed cool off periods. Fwiw, Ive always found it easier just to find a good relationship so you dont have to worry about keeping it all separate.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/01/24 07:33 PM
2

I have been a HUGE fan of cybersex in the past and it is a huge upgrade from masturbation, but unfortunately I still have yet to recreate the orgasms that can be achieved by another person's hands (or other parts, but really hands is all I need). FWB can mitigate STI risk, pregnancy risk is largely a matter of knowing your cycle, and emotional attachment can be mitigated with a heavy dose of self awareness and understanding of the oxytocin system. Stop staring into the eyes of people who you don…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/01/24 07:23 PM
–

Let me try to rephrase and provide examples. I tried to adopt the lexicon of the audience I am speaking with, thus my use of Alpha and beta. I actually agree with you. It's not a helpful categorization, but in this context tends to refer to short-term sexual preferences (Alpha) and long-term partnership preferences (Beta) of women. women want a paradoxical impossibility that only makes sense in the pages of a romance novel? Another way to explain what I am referring to is Jordan Peterson's bit a…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/01/24 07:19 PM
2

Understanding male vs female hormone cycles explains so much of this. Men are horny about the same time daily, women are horny about the same time monthly.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/01/24 03:05 PM
3

Headspace is super important. I dont think I could relax enough to cum with a total stranger.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/01/24 03:03 PM
4

Life is all about risk tolerance and trade offs
/r/PurplePillDebate09/01/24 03:01 PM
8

At 16, a lot of girls havent figured out how to orgasm yet. It gets a lot easier with age for women to cum. The quality of sex at 16 for a woman vs the quality of sex at 28 or 32 is night and day different.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/01/24 03:00 PM
5

They just keep that locker room talk amongst their female friends. I have absolutely heard those exact words from multiple women.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/01/24 02:57 PM
11

I cant speak to ONS style casual sex, but I can speak to the appeal of FWB style casual sex. Sex for me involves a lot of connective energy (cant think of a less woo way to explain it), so I do need to establish attraction beyond simple physical appeal, but I have also a high sex drive, so during my single times I hage slept with friends in a casual way. The appeal for me is that orgasms with another person are WAY more satisfying than masturbating. If you can at least vet for someone who cares …
/r/PurplePillDebate09/01/24 02:54 PM
–

I think the context part is missed by too many. A lot of women like sexual dominance, that doesnt mean a man who is constantly domineering over your life though. Keep your aggressive alpha traits in the bedroom. Edit to add: I've actually thought this was some sort of major misunderstanding between the sexes for a long time. Most of the women I know would agree that there are a few things sexier than a guy who seems just like a generally nice beta-esque guy but has a super dominant alpha energy …
/r/PurplePillDebate09/01/24 02:03 PM
1

I would like to think we all know that funneling any emotion into anger will ruin your life too
/r/PurplePillDebate09/01/24 01:59 PM
6

I do agree that romanticism has made relationships into an unattainable ideal. Especially the modern iteration that says you will find one person who will fill all of your needs - sexual, emotional, spiritual, social. I dont necessarily think that means people should "settle" though and compromise on their standards for a relationship. Those standards should be assessed for how practical and realistic they are though, with a mind to the nature of humans.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/01/24 02:04 AM
1

how many different orgasms are men capable of? Same amount as women. Men can have penile or prostate orgasms. why are there so many different sexy toys for women? There are also a LOT of sex toys for men. Also, a lot of sex toys can be used by both men and women. if women don't like sex, why has every major religion sought to control female sexuality Women do in fact like sex, but the reason women's sexuality has historically been controlled is because it is necessary in order to control wounds …
/r/PurplePillDebate07/01/24 06:28 PM
5

Poly relationships with a one penis policy would qualify as harems, but those are notoriously fragile and structured around male insecurities. I havent known many nonmonogamous relationships with an OPP last more than a couple years.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/01/24 06:03 PM
3

That makes more sense. Thanks for the clarification!
/r/PurplePillDebate07/01/24 03:32 PM
0

I am not doing anything to create or eliminate equality. I am simply describing biology. All people are entitled to automatic rights over any child that comes out of their body. Only people who are married have automatic rights to children that come out of someone else's body. The fact that men do not have children come out of their body does not negate the fact that they would have rights to them if they did. That is the concept of legal equality. In the same situation you would have the same r…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/01/24 02:46 PM
4

"Most women are habitual cheaters" Citation needed. Studies show for men and women around a third have ever cheated. Thats far from "most are habitual"
/r/PurplePillDebate07/01/24 02:42 PM
5

I do think it is ideal to know who your biological parents are and that is a big issue in the adoption community - Knowing who your biological parents are. Hi, however, do not believe that the government is the best route for establishing "shoulds". People should always be honest with each other. We should have all of the information about our own genetics, but that is not always the case and bringing governments in to assure that no one has false paternity (because again without a database you …
/r/PurplePillDebate07/01/24 02:36 PM
4

A paternity test does a complete sequencing of DNA and compares it to the complete sequencing of DNA of a parent. What special portion of the DNA do you think that they are testing in order to just determine paternity?
/r/PurplePillDebate07/01/24 02:31 PM
7

So would you be more comfortable with all children by default having no fathers? Or all children born outside of wedlock to default to having no father? Should a man not be able to decide to claim a child that is not biologically theirs? Say in the very common case of sperm donors, should the father who knows the child is not biologically his not be allowed to be the legal father? There is a reason that there is a difference between legal paternity and biological paternity because a variety of s…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/01/24 02:30 PM
4

Birth is a pretty lengthy process only women go through that allows them to assert parental rights. I also support parental rights for men of any children that are born of their bodies. Unfortunately, its really only a process subjected to women.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/01/24 02:20 PM
3

Dont agree to a life altering commitment that you feel less than fully informed about. Not all men feel that an actual DNA test is necessary to be fully informed. My partner and I conceived our first out of wedlock (born within though), and I offered a paternity test option because I didnt want there to be any concerns. He declined because he did the math, knew we had sex within the ovulation window, and believed me when I said he was the only penis present that month. He would have declined any…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/01/24 02:18 PM
11

You CAN make it your personal default. Making it a universal default assumes a whole lot of people don't care about bodily autonomy for their children.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/01/24 02:09 PM
8

One test may be cheap and easy, but one test multiplied by every baby that is born is not a trivial cost. That is demanding that men who do not share your insecurity to pay (through taxes or directly) to assuage your paternity fears. I don't want the state having my kids DNA and neither does their father. Mandatory tests on newborns are not as popular as you might think. For my last baby, we refused the "mandatory state blood testing" and opted to have a private blood screen instead. All I had t…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/01/24 02:07 PM
1

Yeah, we cant even find the lab resources to test rape kits, but we totally have the resources to waste soothing mens insecurities so they don't have to admit to them themselves. /s
/r/PurplePillDebate07/01/24 01:59 PM
4

If Im understanding you correctly, you believe that every child should have a mandatory DNA test done by the state and then what? Compared to some database of men to determine the rightful paternity of the child? You have switched from concern about a married man being the default father to concern about a random man, who is unnamed by the mother, not having automatic parental rights to a child born to a woman who he is not married to. I do in fact want men to have to petition the courts to forc…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/01/24 01:55 PM
–

My life is always better when I outsource menial thinking to my robots. Thats a ridiculously practical suggestion.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/01/24 03:33 AM
–

Of course, I just have to remember to start making them early. I have a bad habit of forgetting the dough in the fridge.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/01/24 01:45 AM
–

I really want to get into baking more. This week Ive committed to starting the search for the perfect biscuit recipe partially so I can make tiny child sized biscuits for my kids.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/01/24 12:25 AM
2

Thats because they dont want to go to jail
/r/PurplePillDebate06/01/24 03:18 PM
2

There are objective averages made up of subjective value judgements. For example: I find short guys to be very attractive. On average though, women prefer taller men. If all men suddenly became 6'+ that would lower their overall attractiveness to me.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/01/24 09:24 PM
2

unlikely those men will stick with those women. What a high opinion of men you seem to have /s It sounds like youre arguing that men are hypergamous and cannot truly commit to a woman if another opportunity presents itself. I would also say that such a person is more likely to find a good LTR in a polyamorous space if multiple partners is the desire. Plenty of poly women who are down for the dynamic.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/01/24 06:53 PM
5

Those 10/10 ratings are ultimately subjective, so it still wouldnt be every guy can get any girl, but ultimately the norm would adjust to account for the new middle ground
/r/PurplePillDebate05/01/24 03:16 PM
1

Happy Cake Day Automod!
/r/PurplePillDebate05/01/24 01:32 PM
18

There will always be a subset of men and women who are comfortable with nonmonogamy, whether ethical or not. For women who do value monogamy though, Chads RMV drops significantly if he is known to keep side chicks. Women have relationship standards that are separate from raw sexual attraction. Nonmonogamy gives a lot of people the ick. Cheating gives a lot of people the ick. It doesnt matter how high your SMV is if you cant maintain your RMV then you cant maintain a relationship. But theres a li…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/01/24 07:52 AM
–

The only time this has ever happened was high school and my friend and I handled it in a probably unusually mature way. We made a rational assessment of who would likely be a better fit for the guy based on what we knew and then agreed to let the better fit go for it and if that didnt work out, the other should consider it fair game. As an adult I would add the option of maybe you ask him if he's actually into either of you. Mutual attraction is always ideal. But then again that would put him in…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/01/24 11:20 PM
6

I agree. The best sex for my partner and I has been following very deeply vulnerable conversations. It intensifies the connection element.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/01/24 08:22 PM
–

Maybe they do get attention from manipulative abusive women, and that causes a negative bias in their view towards all women. Whether man or woman, when a lonely vulnerable person finally learns how to avoid the abusers that are attracted to them, That does not magically make other types of partners attracted to them. So, without addressing the parts of their personality that lead to being lonely and desperate for connection, they will either attract toxic personalities or learn to avoid those t…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/01/24 06:17 PM
1

Yes, that book is called /Brave New World/
/r/PurplePillDebate04/01/24 05:55 PM
2

To extend your military analogy, there are many more steps to attempt to incentivize reproduction before mandating it. Drafts are not popular and they do cause rebellious behavior and domestic problems. I think it's far more likely that we will see increasingly large government financial incentives to people who have voluntarily have more children before there will be any consideration of a reproductive draft. And to make it comparable, those institutions you mentioned would become pseudo parent…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/01/24 05:29 PM
3

Alright, the kids are napping, the dishes are done, and I have a few minutes at an actual computer so let me see if I can expand on those thoughts in a coherant way. This is my understanding of the communities from actually doing all the reading they suggest as well as being fairly well read in anthropology and human mating from an academic perspective. The Red Pill ideology is based on a recognition of the biological mate-seeking behaviors of humans as a species. The most important of those beh…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/01/24 07:58 PM
2

It inspired me to really dig into the various iterations of "pill" ideologies and the motives behind each offshoot. The concepts are based on an almost fatalistic biological determinism, but contradict each other regularly. Coming at it from a social science background, I found it interesting that a community of men who base their choices on primal biological urges also concluded that pair bonding and procreation were undesirable. I will say that exploring the rest of reddit and seeing some of t…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/01/24 07:03 PM
–

They are hoping that it will make you want to "prove your value" by doing all the things he mentioned in the hopes that he will find you worthy enough to spend his money on
/r/PurplePillDebate02/01/24 08:16 PM
1

Just based on my knowledge of how crying effects most men biologically, I would say that seeing crying as a turn on is not the norm for either sex. Studies have shown that when a man is in the presence of a woman crying (especially crying out of fear), their testosterone levels actually drop, making them feel less agressive and less sexually motivated. Ive talked to several men about this and they all agree that its very uncomfortable to witness a woman cry and it makes them feel weak and uncomf…
/r/RedPillWomen02/01/24 04:32 PM
2

Bill Cosby? I thought TRP was just about manipulation, not drugging.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/01/24 03:18 PM
1

I think the comparison for how much the two groups get laid is quite a bit skewed. Studies have shown repeatedly that people in committed relationships have more sex on average than those who are not. Average of course means that there are both LTR couples who have dead bedrooms AND those who have sex at least daily, with most relationships falling in between. If youre only comparing the dead bed relationships (who are unhappy and likely to be drawn to those online spaces) to dedicated fuckbois …
/r/PurplePillDebate02/01/24 03:15 PM
1

Because here at RPW, we want to build families and have children with strong and worthy men. Its a lot harder to provide a warm loving household and raise strong well adjusted children when you are also providing financially for your family. Traditionally, men provide economic security for women who provide biological progeny to them. Men and women often support and provide for each other in different ways. Women certainly can work to provide financially for men, but those same men should then b…
/r/RedPillWomen01/01/24 02:10 PM
2

Well i appreciate the clarification on your perspective, unfortunately I don't think we will be able to have a productive exchange beyond this point. Based on those beliefs, nothing that I say will be considered because Im a woman and you are unlikely to trust studies both for the same reason (belief that women are lying). Thank you for your time and engagement up to this point! I do hope you find (or continue to enjoy) your happiness in life.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/12/23 08:47 PM
3

It seems like the basis of your argument is that 1) Women dont actually like men generally 2) Women are lying to themselves and everyone else about what they find attractive 3) Womens perception of male attractiveness is not an accurate reflection of male attractiveness 4) Being a provider in a relationship is undesirable to men 5) Any attraction that is not based on looks and immediate sexual desire is settling Is that an accurate understanding of your perspective?
/r/PurplePillDebate31/12/23 08:19 PM
6

Knowing a woman before dating her reduces the importance of your appearance Funny, generous, intelligent, kind, and respectful are all very very sexy qualities in a man that you cannot see by just looking at him. If you cold approach a woman, then all she has to judge you based on is how you look and maybe the confidence of your initial approach. When you meet a woman and dont immediately approach her for a relationship or hookup, she has a chance to see all the other qualities that make you a g…
/r/PurplePillDebate31/12/23 07:46 PM
1

I absolutely agree. Its always ideal to meet both the long and short term preference of our chosen partners. I am also not completely my partners "type" and we jave had more than a couple of heartfelt conversations about how its not a great feeling to notice the other is interested in people who dont look like you. I guess the point I hope people can take away from this phenomenon is that just because youre not top 20% in looks as a guy doesnt mean youre going to be forever alone. Understanding …
/r/PurplePillDebate31/12/23 03:57 PM
1

Then youre only interested in short term mating. Thats totally fine. Youre going to have to deal with the very high standards women have for hookups. You dont have to like how it works, but if looks is the main hurdle and you are looking for a LTR, being friends is a really good bet. If you are unable to befriend women at all, a LTR is going to be difficult to maintain anyways.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/12/23 02:29 PM
5

If youre only interested in short term dating (getting laid), it wont help. If youre looking for a long term partner and your looks wont get you there being friends will overcome the looks problem
/r/PurplePillDebate31/12/23 02:06 PM
1

I have never had much opportunity for casual sex (serial monogamy mostly), but your instinct there is correct. Men who I am immediately attracted to without knowing their personality or other factors definitely fall squarely within those types. My partner now is the father of my children though, so he definitely "won" in an evolutionary sense. I was not initially attracted to him at all, but we worked together for over a year and the more I got to know him, the more I was attracted to him. Once …
/r/PurplePillDebate31/12/23 01:37 PM
-2

The studies that identify the benefits actually control for money as a factor among many others. Thats just par for any decent studies. If you dont think youd benefit from marriage, dont get married. Your personal preference doesnt negate the fact that marriage has measurable benfits for men. Even if those benefits could theoretically be gleaned through other ways, it doesnt negate the benefits.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/12/23 04:27 AM
4

They arent mutually exclusive but they arent mutually inclusive either. Sex, Love, and Attachment are acrially 3 separate neural pathways in the brain.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/12/23 03:56 AM
1

The prompt was what the benefits were. Mainly they are health related due to having someone else who also cares about your health encouraging you. I agree that those benefits should be attainable without getting married, but that doesnt mean they arent still benefits of getting married for men. Married men also do less housework than single men and have more leisure time, regardless of whether their wife works outside the home.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/12/23 03:37 AM
2

That might be a fun question for askwomen or the RPW sub. Anecdotally, my Partner is not "my type" (I have 2 discernable types historically), but that doesnt stop me from being sexually attracted to him. I wonder how common it is to partner with someone who is vs isnt "your type".
/r/PurplePillDebate31/12/23 03:28 AM
2

Reacher is a sexy tree of a character
/r/PurplePillDebate31/12/23 03:24 AM
4

There is a workaround to this: Studies show that looks basically disappear as a factor for women once they've known you for at least 6-9 months. There is genuine value in being friends with women for less attractive men because it affords the opportunity to showcase personality. If you can make peace with the friend zone and actually be friends with women, you stand a much better chance of finding a partner than if you just cold approach women for sex or romance.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/12/23 03:19 AM
2

Scent is huge. A guy who I might not otherwise have noticed, who smells good but not overpowering will literally make me turn my head. The sweet spot is something that is not too strong, subtly masculine, and works well with your body chemistry, and is faint enough that you want to step closer to smell more. The same cologne doesnt smell good on every guy. Its worth it to sample a few and find one that really suits you well. Someone who smells good is someone you want to pause and find a reason …
/r/PurplePillDebate31/12/23 03:14 AM
–

Because all things that are desirable require some effort, even more so if that thing you want has to come from another person. First you have to make friends, then if the stars align, you might have the right chemistry to fuck. But really dude it sounds like you just want to pick and choose the parts of a relationship you want (exclusivity, emotional bonding/friendship, and sex) but without the parts that youre scared of (emotional intimacy/vulnerability, romance, commitment). A lot of people w…
/r/PurplePillDebate31/12/23 03:02 AM
–

Waiting for the sequel where shes carrying your pups
/r/PurplePillDebate31/12/23 02:53 AM
–

Why do people buy lottery tickets? You gotta be in to win
/r/PurplePillDebate31/12/23 02:51 AM
6

They also go to the doctor more often
/r/PurplePillDebate31/12/23 02:41 AM
1

The first study that came to mind was regarding infants, but the need doesnt die in childhood. Adults also have a very real need for love in the same way that we need food and water. Love is a physiological motivation It doesnt have to be romantic love though. Humans find all sorts of ways to feed that need for love. Deaperate people who are socially repulsive are the kind of people who are focusing on only one kind of love (often romantic) and trying to use it to fill all their needs. People id…
/r/PurplePillDebate31/12/23 01:55 AM
1

"Love" is actually both a physiological and psychological need. Not only is it necessary for most people to be happy, but lack of affection from others actually has measurable detrimental physical impacts. One study that comes to mind found that when babies were not given affectionate care and attention, even when all other physiological needs were attended to perfectly, they stopped growing, thriving, and a couple actually died before the study was cancelled. Love is a need, but it doesnt have …
/r/PurplePillDebate30/12/23 07:30 PM
2

It is the safer options as long as you dont intend to have kids.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/12/23 07:23 PM
2

Data should be refined to look at that specific subcomminity. People who identify as highly religious are less likely to get divorced.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/12/23 07:16 PM
2

The Kochtopus is incredibly family friendly
/r/PurplePillDebate30/12/23 07:08 PM
4

Studies actually support the benefits of going into marriage with rose tinted glasses. Basically, believing that you will be in the 60% of marriages that don't end in divorce when you get married actually increases your odds you will. Entering a marriage with a "realistic" or "pessemistic" view of the liklihood of divorce significantly increases your likelihood of divorce. Self fulfilling prophecies are a bitch.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/12/23 07:06 PM
1

Marriage is about creating a foundation for having and raising children and making decisions for the best of the whole unit rather than having individual negotiating in their own interests. If you dont want to have children, then dont worry about marriage. If you want to have children, then binding yourselves into one legal and economic unit is the best way to start that. It is a bad decision for a woman to have have children with a man unwilling to marry her. She is tying herself legally and bi…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/12/23 07:01 PM
1

Because different people value different things. Im talking to the OP who has expressed a desire to work hard and earn more money for her family and does not have a desire to have children. Sounds like shes the kind of woman who might take that tradeoff and prefer the extra economic security. Im not talking in broad terms about what women should or should not do, Im addressing this specific post.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/12/23 09:16 PM
1

"Most men operate on this thing called logic" is the lie that men tell themselves in order to avoid acknowledging their emotionally driven behavior. Im just explaining what the research into how humans actually behave says. If you cant be bothered to google "Human mate poaching", then Ill try to post some links for you later this evening. Men do poach women from relationships, they are not universally afraid of all other men or averse to poaching. The research does say that when it happens, it i…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/12/23 08:55 PM
2

Yes, being emotionally mature also makes it harder to find a partner that is on your level. Any level of personal improvement will make it harder to find a partner on your level. Keeping yourself poor, uneducated, and/or immature is not a useful dating strategy even if it does increase the absolute number of partners who are at or above your level. Diminishing yourself isnt a recipe for happiness, but it is valuable to know the tradeoffs you make in the dating market as well as the rest of life.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/12/23 08:42 PM
4

I understand how you feel but I encourage you to try to empathize with his position rather than comparing yourself to how he treated his past girlfriend. Was it a good idea for him to invest so heavily in her so early considering how their relationship ended? If your answer to that would be no it wasn't a good choice for him then why would you ask him to make that same choice twice? Without knowing all of the other factors that went into why he was providing for her, I think it's healthier for y…
/r/RedPillWomen29/12/23 07:50 PM
2

Replying to your edit: If he is moving in with you, then the conversation about whether or not he is going to join or take over your lease is a good opportunity to see where his head is at. Hopefully hes not moving into a home you own, as that would be a much more complicated conversation.
/r/RedPillWomen29/12/23 07:31 PM
3

Thats a good sign! You dont take someone to another country to meet your family if you dont want a future with them. I think youve got a great mindset here trying to find how you can positively inspire him. At some point it might be worth having a more direct conversation about what his desire to provide and your desire to support him looks like, but at least for me that would wait until some time between engagement and marriage when the commitment is clear.
/r/RedPillWomen29/12/23 07:28 PM
7

Yes, pay attention to what the little stressors and rote decisions he has to make on a day to day basis are and think about how you can help to solve those problems. But you want to be sure you're keeping a reasonable balance based on how committed the two of you are. If you arent committed to each other long term, then there's a balance you have to strike between displaying your value as a supporting partner and (for lack of a better way to put it) "Doing housewife shit for girlfriend pay" How …
/r/RedPillWomen29/12/23 07:25 PM
16

This ^ I dont think its that OP doesnt inspire him, hes just not looking to make a big investment so early again and risk not having it show return.
/r/RedPillWomen29/12/23 07:15 PM
11

It sounds like he invested a lot in his ex, probably with the assumption that they would be together long term and share children. Now he is hesitant to make such a big investment up front, but that doesn't necessarily mean he wouldnt want to later on in the relationship when he feels it is a more sound investment. Think of it like investing a ton of money in a start up and losing it all. The next time you look into investing, you mighe be more inclined to consider established companies and stoc…
/r/RedPillWomen29/12/23 07:14 PM
–

Wouldnt be a problem for me, but Im also bisexual and that seems to be the concensus among bi women on this thread so far. Thinking someone having sex with a man makes them less valuable or desirable is some pretty unsubtle problematic thinking. It would be a red flag for self reflection for me at least.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/12/23 07:11 PM
27

In my experience, you inspire men who want to be good husbands and fathers by displaying what more you could do for them as a wife and mother to his children if he is able to do more to provide for your material needs. My partner and I both met working the same job, but I also used to work as a professional nanny for high net worth families for many years, so I was able to convey the many benefits of having a dedicated one on one caregiver for young children. I cooked him dinner while we were da…
/r/RedPillWomen29/12/23 07:05 PM
1

Men definitely have a much more granular understanding of which men are threats. For women its safer to make a blanket assumption all men pose at least some threat until proven otherwise, which of course seems unfair to men who serve little to no threat, maybe because its hard to understand how they can be intimidating to women when they arent intimidating to other men. Different situations and people require different calculus.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/12/23 06:50 PM
1

I said intimidating or more powerful, not bigger and stronger. Studies show that men who are considered more intimidating to other men experience significantly less mate competition. It doesnt necessarily make a man more attractive to women, but it does translate to other men backing off of women those men express interest in. I agree that guns throw a confounding variable into that equation. Its harder to size up a guy for how likely he might be to shoot you. Its an additional factor in intimid…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/12/23 06:17 PM
6

Men are not a monoloth and neither are women. Being a career woman will not make you undesirable to men in general. It might make you undesirable to men who want a family oriented SAHM in the future, but it sounds like those men would also be undesirable to you. A lot of the redpill concepts around what makes men and women desirable and undesirable is rooted in the assumption that the goal for everyone is a long term committed heterosexual monogamous relationship that produces multiple children.…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/12/23 04:28 PM
2

I would say it is only disincentive if her partner is more intimidating or powerful than a given man. Otherwise men can and do poach mates, typically poaching women higher value women from lower value men.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/12/23 12:02 AM
1

Mate poaching exists in both men and women. A woman having a partner may not increase her attractiveness, but it doesnt seem to hurt it much unless her partner is also intimidating to other men.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/12/23 11:59 PM
1

I agree that both partners have to be able to communicate. Everything you described though assumes that the man in question even acknowledges that he has a porn addiction and that it may be negatively impacting his real world sex life. Thats a willingness to self reflect and be self aware. A lot of guys just think its normal and healthy to only be able to get off to extreme porn situations and that their girlfriend is being controlling and insecure for even bringing it up. Kinks are fine and mos…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/12/23 05:57 PM
1

You still have to have the skills to communicate on order to do so. You have to self aware and emotionally mature enough to take accountability for yourself. You can communicate at a partner for years and have it go nowhere because they wont do the personal growth or even acknowledge the issue.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/12/23 05:42 PM
5

I have to disagree. The women with warped stanfards are also ridiculed by other women. Women are certainly more sympathetic to each others suffering, but that doesn't necessarily equate to the blanket agreement and celebration you think it does. The mother of 4 by 3 men who wants a six figure provider but cant cook is someone who other women roll their eyes at. Shes a lost cause and its probably a subconscious defense tactic to keep her from collecting another baby daddy by making her standards …
/r/PurplePillDebate28/12/23 01:59 PM
1

Youve mentioned communication several times in the comments. Do you think that the majority of men have good communication skills or at least are agreeable enough to accept influence from a partner who communicates well? Poor communication skills is a very common marriage killer, so Im curious where the assumption comes from that most people have the skills to manage the other issues people mention simply through communication. How does one communicate out of a porn addiction for example?
/r/PurplePillDebate28/12/23 10:51 AM
0

For women, its best to have kids either before 25 or after 35 if you want to minimize the hit to lifetime earnings. So there is so legitimacy to this question. Its a risk either way honestly. If you marry young, you are taking a gamble on your partner selection. If you both continue growing and improving together, that gamble pays off. If only one partner grows and improves, theyre more likely to divorce. Waiting gives you more time to improve yourself and you can also select a mate who is alrea…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/12/23 07:14 PM
2

Thats because if and when sex results in pregnancy, 100% of women have to do 100% of the work growing, birthing and nursing that baby. The person who bears the consequences of getting laid isnt the person who has to work for it. The one who just has to show up and have sex in order to create a pregnancy is obviously going to have to work harder for that opportunity. The work a man does to get laid is nothing compared to the work of gestation.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/12/23 05:31 PM
1

The preference for GoodFather vs GoodGenes depends on where a woman is in her cycle. Women have been ahown ro make more short term focused mating choices when ovulating, meaning that GoodGenes is more attractive when you can get pregnant, but GoodFather is more attractive the rest of the month.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/12/23 08:41 AM
2

My take based on the research I have read: Orgasms release a ton of oxytocin for women, which helps to bond them to their partner (or infant in the case of birth and nursing). While female orgasm is not required to achieve pregnancy, it does slightly improve the odds of conception, and significantly increase the likelihood that the female bonds with the male and provides additional opportunities for sex (and pregnancy). Human penis size is also thought to be an evolutionary way of trying to trig…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/12/23 08:40 PM
1

Yes, to clarify: Men and women both value virginity less today, likely as a side effect of widespread access to birth control and paternity testing. Sexual purity was historically a decent proxy to likelihood of cuckolding. Today, we have far more effective ways to ensure paternity. When I mentioned the kind of guys who do care, its what u/Marissa_Smiles noted: podcast bros who have been told virginity is valuable temd to be dime a dozen dudes living in moms basement feeling entitled to virgin h…
/r/RedPillWomen24/12/23 04:31 AM
15

The stats on divorce you mentioned should be taken with a grain of salt and considered within context. In general, people who wait until marriage to have sex or live together are significantly more likely to be highly religious and have moral objections to the concept of divorce. It doesn't mean those are happy marriages.
/r/RedPillWomen23/12/23 12:48 PM
63

Early morning comment so i will return later to say more, but the only thing I would mention is that you will need to be VERY good about selecting/qualifying men who want to marry a virgin, because in 2023 that desire is often paired with some really problematic views on women and their value. You want to find a husband you loves you first, not your virginity.
/r/RedPillWomen23/12/23 09:56 AM
8

I would say do this if he said it "jokingly", otherwise, its a red flag and playing mind games in return is a waste of valuable time.
/r/RedPillWomen19/12/23 09:56 PM
19

I would consider it a red flag in almost any circumstance because it indicates a very transactional mindset towards relationships and a general lack of generosity, which is a very important character trait in a good husband and father.
/r/RedPillWomen19/12/23 09:54 PM
1

I was in a marriage where I was the primary provider but I really wanted children and he never showed any effort towards either becoming a better provider or taking care of our household. After leaving him, I knew that I primarily wanted a partner who was going to be a generous supportive father and enable me to focus on raising our children (I had been a professional nanny for a decade, so my standards are high). I also knew that I owed it to myself to find a partner who was an intellectual equ…
/r/RedPillWomen18/12/23 09:48 PM
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