~ archived since 2018 ~
~ archived since 2018 ~
| Upvotes | Comment on | Subreddit | Date (UTC) |
|---|---|---|---|
| – | REVAMPED DISCORD SERVER - AFFIRMATIVE✅ AND ARGUMENTATIVE🤬 POSTS📝 MUST BE FLAIRED🚩 AS DEBATE🗣️ DAILY🌞 MEGATHREAD🧵Honestly, as others said, Idk what benefit it would be to say he's hotter than you. It's not a competition between you and him. There's no value in being "objective" about who's hotter in this situation. You can just say he's hot or that you find him hot. That's the ego boost right there. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/07/26 06:41 PM |
| – | Continuing a “Friendship” with a woman is not a good idea.I'd just greet her but then focus on other friends. This is pretty key in my experience (in addition to just creating more space between the two of you). If you have tunnel vision on only the crush, it takes so much longer to get over them. Friends and other prospects speed the process along greatly. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/07/26 05:41 PM |
| – | REVAMPED DISCORD SERVER - AFFIRMATIVE✅ AND ARGUMENTATIVE🤬 POSTS📝 MUST BE FLAIRED🚩 AS DEBATE🗣️ DAILY🌞 MEGATHREAD🧵We did the 400 sq ft thing together for a year with a dog to boot. It's kinda crazy how that worked out. And now we have a condo with a spare room even after kids and it's like night and day in terms of sprawl. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/07/26 04:24 PM |
| – | REVAMPED DISCORD SERVER - AFFIRMATIVE✅ AND ARGUMENTATIVE🤬 POSTS📝 MUST BE FLAIRED🚩 AS DEBATE🗣️ DAILY🌞 MEGATHREAD🧵I think that's a case where you're already together and will reunite. Which is pretty reasonable unless it's a long lead time. I've seen several of these relationships go the full distance. I've seen very few where it started exclusively as LDRs go far though. More often than not once they finally meet in person the chemistry that's present in text/video is off in person. Or maybe it's chicken and egg thing where the type of personality that can handle an LDR before physically meeting has a hard… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/07/26 04:22 PM |
| – | REVAMPED DISCORD SERVER - AFFIRMATIVE✅ AND ARGUMENTATIVE🤬 POSTS📝 MUST BE FLAIRED🚩 AS DEBATE🗣️ DAILY🌞 MEGATHREAD🧵Mondays are hard, but Tuesdays are the roughest for me. Mondays I at least have some extra sleep from the weekend to carry over on. Tuesdays I tackle the work day but probably stayed up way too late on Monday to get some me time after everyone else went to bed. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/07/26 04:20 PM |
| – | REVAMPED DISCORD SERVER - AFFIRMATIVE✅ AND ARGUMENTATIVE🤬 POSTS📝 MUST BE FLAIRED🚩 AS DEBATE🗣️ DAILY🌞 MEGATHREAD🧵I've freely offered phone to the wife and vice versa. Neither of us have been interested. My personal take is trust until I have a reason not to. No, it's not foolproof. But walking around with anxiety and a compulsion to verify isn't healthy either. If your relationship is at a point where you have a bad gut feeling about something, there's some larger things happening than the phone. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/07/26 04:17 PM |
| 2 | Women should make the first move, its better for everyone.Or not getting any approaches at all. Idk why many men who thinks women should do the approaching believe it will benefit them. It mostly benefits guys who are already 'winning' in the status quo - Chad's life just got even easier while Adam from accounting goes to the bar, quietly nurses his beers at the counter for 2 hours without anyone looking his way, then goes home. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 24/07/26 06:38 PM |
| 3 | We pathologize male passivity in dating but reward female passivity and nobody can explain why without circular logicIf a woman is passive and struggling with dating, I would tell her she needs to be more proactive. I think what counts as proactive is seen differently. There's still a gender/cultural script that is stubborn to resistance. A woman is proactive by making herself available to be approached. A man is proactive by reading these cues and approaching. This dynamic is very different for LGBT individuals/communities, which is where I think a guy can really relate to a lesbian woman trying to shoot her … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 23/07/26 06:59 PM |
| 1 | REVAMPED DISCORD SERVER - AFFIRMATIVE✅ AND ARGUMENTATIVE🤬 POSTS📝 MUST BE FLAIRED🚩 AS DEBATE🗣️ DAILY🌞 MEGATHREAD🧵Two wrongs is still just two wrongs though. I agree with you, census data is mostly useless relative to your local reality. I realistically only dated people within 10 miles of me, what went on with the people in the Deep South of the US didn't change my dating reality. Even within my city, going 5 miles north of downtown vs. 5 miles south and you're in two different dating realities. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 23/07/26 06:08 PM |
| 1 | REVAMPED DISCORD SERVER - AFFIRMATIVE✅ AND ARGUMENTATIVE🤬 POSTS📝 MUST BE FLAIRED🚩 AS DEBATE🗣️ DAILY🌞 MEGATHREAD🧵Lettuce and cabbage for me are the two veggies that often makes a dish worse. Basically just filler crunchy water. We make homemade egg rolls (or rather, I do and my wife partakes lol) and not using cabbage as a filler makes them 5x better and not even that much more expensive. Many excellent substitutes, though perhaps slightly more calories. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 23/07/26 05:55 PM |
| 3 | do you truly believe the bar is lower for men?The less help part rings hard too. We have young ones and the closest grandparent is 3.5 hours away and they live their own lives (though we do get extended visits which we take full advantage of). Trading babysitting duties with the neighbors also seem a lot less common now, in part because there are just fewer people having kids in general (and of course all the fearmongering about supervising kids to non-daycare adults). Daycare is of course its own gigantic bill. I legit don't understand how… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 23/07/26 05:42 PM |
| 4 | What explains the difference in how some men respond to authority, admiration, and emotion when it comes from women versus other men.I'm a short dude (5'3") with a babyface (Asian). Honestly, aging into my 30s was probably the best thing for my career. Getting closer to 40 and everyone is starting to gray out and have cracks in their appearance, but I'm just now looking like an adult in management. It does suck though, it feels like I'm reaching a cap on what 'leadership presence' is for corporate - the other side of youthfulness in a room averaging 50+. And anecdotally, even the women in the DVP room here trend towards the t… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 22/07/26 05:03 PM |
| – | Old people have no understanding of how dating works todayI’m 37. I was in my 20s when dating apps like Tinder took off. I was on them as recently as 5 years ago before meeting my wife on the apps. Age has some impact on the dynamics of course. But I got to experience the apps in my 20s as well. Every younger gen seems to think the older gen can’t understand them and that all their challenges are unique. The degree to which some challenges are more prevalent than others, sure. But we had virgins and antisocial people who didn’t get play 10 years ago as… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 17/07/26 10:30 PM |
| 1 | When is it fair to say "you should have chosen better"?Lots of denial usually. Calories in < calories out is straightforward but you start to hear all the reasons why it doesn't apply to someone because XYZ. It's basically why GLP-1s are effective, they take away the hunger urge so people eat less and would you know it, their lbs start to evaporate. In people's defense their daily food has a lot of hidden calories. Beers and pop are huge around me and two of those in an outing or a meal is basically a meal in itself. And meals in general especially … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 17/07/26 07:07 PM |
| 5 | Fellas, is it discriminatory for women to experience attraction? DiscussAnd there's no way around it. I liken it to hiring. You want a good employee but so does everyone else. That means y'all gonna chase after the same 20%, 30%, 50%, whatever you wanna call it. Unless you just need a warm body, some portion of the applicant pool will never be looked at in any meaningful way. Dating is going through the same things as companies are doing now. Unless you find a great candidate they rather not hire at all and just leave the job post open. Cost to hire, train, and fire… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 17/07/26 06:55 PM |
| 8 | If a woman a man is dating or is interested in starts pulling away, his best option is to let go and stop trying.Ehh, even like 15-20 years ago when I was coming up in my prime dating window, people give you the advice to be persistent and chase. It's supposedly how you prove you care (to those individuals). I'm glad that the messaging has largely died out (and in some cases, even ridiculed actively a la simping). Y'all don't need these dumb games. I do think there's some impact there too, but overall it's better to get rid of the mixed messaging. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 17/07/26 04:10 PM |
| -1 | The Red Pill Will Never Have Good Prescriptions Because Its Historical Claims About Gender Are Wrong.Those things, imo, can modify how much attraction is there after you already passed the yes/no threshold. Our threshold tends to be lower, so initiative/confidence doesn't seem to matter because more often than not the answer's yes anyways. But there's a difference between yes, heck yes!, and yes to exclusion of everything else. Initiative/confidence doesn't really change a no to a yes. In some ways I think men are culturally more honest about this. I think most women have that yes/no threshold … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 17/07/26 04:04 PM |
| 1 | The Red Pill Will Never Have Good Prescriptions Because Its Historical Claims About Gender Are Wrong.It is incredibly disingenuous for you to presume red pill aligned people treat their partners/spouses as if they are disposable and don't have the human capacity to care. I generally don't agree much with RP, but this I will back you on. I liken it to loving my pet (queue someone who will be OMG you compare people to animals...) or loving our small child (OMG you compare adults to children...). You can both love and cry and care and break your heart for someone while simultaneously accept that t… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 17/07/26 03:56 PM |
| 6 | The reason men get "friendzoned" more than women is often because there's a Masculinity + "Does he say / do the right things to turn me on" component to women's sexuality that eliminates her male friends from contention.Can't speak for OP, but depending on your culture it can very much have an impact. East Asians put a lot of emphasis on families, and while the pressure has reduced over the years, it still matters quite a bit. I'm not talking like you need to marry into a rich family, most people aren't. But it's more like if they're the village drama source or they're neck deep in shady stuff. Now that said, people routinely cross family lines anyways, so it's not a sole factor as you were asking. And there ar… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 15/07/26 05:24 PM |
| 5 | If you dont like women, don’t date them.It's not impactful much, if at all. SK's birth rate was already in the dumpster before 4B took off as a 'movement.' 4B is a brand-name manifestation/reaction to traditional East Asian dynamics on the women's side that happened to take off. There's a few to maybe 50 thousand in a culture with 50 million people. At best, they're a rounding error. Don't get me wrong, I'm East Asian too so I get the toxicity of my also traditional culture around women, family, and the labor force. You can also flip … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 15/07/26 04:17 PM |
| 11 | Just because a woman wants a relationship with you doesn't mean she desires you.Case in point, Beyonce and Shakira have both been cheated on. Tom Brady has been cheated on. Some might disagree the degree to which they're attractive, but nobody would say they're slumming it on the bottom half. I worked service/grocery jobs when I was young...lots of ill-advised pairings among coworkers that are about as stable as shaken soda bottles. Cheating wasn't endemic, but it wasn't rare either. Though if I was being ultra fair, some of those pairings aren't "technically together." | /r/PurplePillDebate | 14/07/26 02:25 PM |
| 1 | LOOKS WEEKLY DISCUSSION THREADIs it worth questioning and challenging ourselves, absolutely. I'm just old and grumpy enough to recognize that most people don't dedicate all that much time to that task, and when it does arise, they tend to focus on other aspects of their lives over dating preferences. I will say that a lot of what people assume are biological or innate or what-have-you is mutable to a great extent. Using my own life experiences, the reception towards Asian American men for example has basically done a 180 sin… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 13/07/26 03:29 PM |
| 2 | LOOKS WEEKLY DISCUSSION THREADFlowing from that logic, they bother because it's ingrained into biology. And that lower odds aren't zero odds. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 13/07/26 03:23 PM |
| – | DISCUSSION🗨️ ABOUT MAIN PPD POSTS📮, LOOKS👀, AND N-COUNT🔢 ARE RESTRICTED🚫 FROM THE DAILY🌞 MEGATHREAD🧵That was the experience with MGTOW too. For men who are supposedly going their own way, 80% of the posts are basically just saying how terrible women are. The OGs who shared their experience living off the grid and away from societal expectations (needing to get married and start a family, etc.) slowly got pushed out of that space. I'm of the opinion, being alive almost 40 years now, is that you'll never see positivity long-term from a community that defines itself by being anti-something. It's … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 09/07/26 07:42 PM |
| – | DISCUSSION🗨️ ABOUT MAIN PPD POSTS📮, LOOKS👀, AND N-COUNT🔢 ARE RESTRICTED🚫 FROM THE DAILY🌞 MEGATHREAD🧵I once got a reply to something posted like a year prior lol. I generally consider it poor form to participate if it's been longer than like 2 days. 1 day is probably fair though imo if I look at their profile and they weren't active since we last talked. If it's a username that I recognize as being someone unproductive to chat with though, I usually just move on. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 09/07/26 07:38 PM |
| – | DISCUSSION🗨️ ABOUT MAIN PPD POSTS📮, LOOKS👀, AND N-COUNT🔢 ARE RESTRICTED🚫 FROM THE DAILY🌞 MEGATHREAD🧵Good food, coffee, a good strategy game (though I get ADHD and cycle between them so probably several instead of just one), some mild competitive endeavor, etc. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 09/07/26 07:34 PM |
| – | CMV: On Reddit, posts asking for emotional support get significantly more replies when they appear to be from women than from menWell, I am sorry about that, but being vague will guarantee nobody will actually respond to your covert and hidden needs And in the context of this post, which is about online text, this is even harder. In person I might have a chance, based on my accumulated knowledge and knowing the person, and my ability to read their face/body language, to sense that what's literally said isn't what they're getting at. If it's literally just text though, over-interpretation is going to lead to a lot of proje… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 09/07/26 05:37 PM |
| – | Women discard what men say they like in women, then turn around and tell men what they like in women.Tbh, you're not (not being mean, even you recognize it). Attractive people have more options and they will predictably choose the best among their options. They tend to date other attractive people (which, among other factors for men, means taller men). Assortative mating at work. I know too many people in this sub finds the economics/market angle of explanation distasteful, but it makes easy-to-verify predictions. If you could choose a 10 vs. an 8 vs. a 4, you'd probably choose the 10, or possi… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 06/07/26 04:54 PM |
| – | In my opinion, it’s pointless to blame women for their dating standards.It's also not an either/or. Self-improvement and complaining can coexist. As the saying goes, you can gripe the whole way up, just don't quit. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 06/07/26 03:19 PM |
| 4 | What should be the appropriate punishment for a paternity fraud?If we ever start a paternity fraud mega thread, you’re on my shortlist for featured guests. You’ve explained a lot of crucial points that would imo nip a lot of these tangents in the discussion. I think it was also you who discussed fraud vs negligence elsewhere in the thread? That was a good one too. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 05/07/26 04:51 AM |
| 7 | The Red Pill's greatest appeal is that it offers immediate individual agency rather than long-term societal changeThe self-improvement side of RP isn’t unique to RP though. RP is more explicit and detailed about theorizing why it believes things like fitness and confidence contribute to dating success. Don’t get me wrong, this has value too, which is why I don’t brush RP off immediately. My general experience is that RP self-improvement mantra is most useful for people who struggle with implicit things and need it spelled out like a math input:output algo. This to me is seemingly why so many RP people are o… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 03/07/26 07:33 PM |
| 5 | DISCUSSION🗨️ ABOUT MAIN PPD POSTS📮, LOOKS👀, AND N-COUNT🔢 ARE RESTRICTED🚫 FROM THE DAILY🌞 MEGATHREAD🧵US plays on Canada Day, and Canada plays on US independence day. Reality has a humor bias. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 01/07/26 04:30 PM |
| 0 | Passport broing should unironically be illegalIn competitive marketplaces, somebody has to lose. Even if it was ideal an uncompetitive, some people can't win anyways. You could be screwed by a government-mandated one-child policy or a cultural preference for boys as family name inheritors. This leads to a notable excess in one gender that, while small in percentage terms, translates to millions in absolute terms. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 01/07/26 04:30 PM |
| – | I don’t want to give him “that satisfaction” is one of the most overlooked power dynamics in dating.Of course, there's no guarantee going out by itself is enough. The "average Joe" getting to participate at all doesn't mean every average Joe did. Maybe 1/10 parties/outing I went to I got any sort of action and that's if we're being generous with things like getting numbers for a potential future meetup. Even mythical Chad strikes out more often than not, his odds are just much better and he usually has a couple FWB to make up the short-gap. The batting rate is extremely low and I don't think m… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 30/06/26 06:10 PM |
| 6 | Our male ancestors would laugh at the complaints of modern menOur kid was born very premature. I've honestly never seen a child as small as them in-person before. I saw the statistic that had it been even one week earlier, the odds of survival would essentially be a coinflip, and that's a drastic improvement to like 50 years ago when it was like 1/10. Happy to report they're doing great these days, but you can imagine how fun that was (and the logistical chaos of being unprepared because we thought we had a lot more time to get ready). | /r/PurplePillDebate | 30/06/26 03:13 PM |
| – | I don’t want to give him “that satisfaction” is one of the most overlooked power dynamics in dating.Some women will approach or give strong signals - the desire has to be pretty strong though. Most men do not invoke this type of desire, IMO. Idk if the younger peeps are overlooking this, but hookup culture, to the extent the average Joe participated, thrived on alcohol and other forms of engagement where people's walls are down and risk-tolerance goes up. Many of my 20s escapades were basically being out at the right place/right time. I once came into a house party where the host's sister was … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 30/06/26 03:07 PM |
| 9 | Our male ancestors would laugh at the complaints of modern menChildbirth was potentially lethal. It's actually kind of wild just how dangerous it is. My wife would have been gone if we were living like 100 years ago. Between that and like half of the children dying before 5, we don't appreciate modernity nearly enough. Another side note too since this is quite fascinating to me: there's an evolutionary tug-of-war between the size of our cranium and the birth canal. Our heads are becoming bigger, which provides a challenge to birthing as the birth canal has… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 30/06/26 02:36 PM |
| 4 | Our male ancestors would laugh at the complaints of modern menAlso, the sheer existence of love strongly indicates that it is an old, evolved emotion, not some modern invention. I'll also chip in that arranged marriages as a social tool was mostly a thing for the rich or those with property. Among the poorer class, people get married for love. There's 'arrangement' in that friendly families will try to introduce their kids (you even see it now in more traditional cultures where families play a larger role in approving your choice of partner). Very rarely i… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 30/06/26 02:29 PM |
| 1 | AWALT is used by guys who are bad judges of character.Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize that half of them are dumber than that. Yes, blah blah average vs. median, etc. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 29/06/26 05:44 PM |
| – | DISCUSSION🗨️ ABOUT MAIN PPD POSTS📮, LOOKS👀, AND N-COUNT🔢 ARE RESTRICTED🚫 FROM THE DAILY🌞 MEGATHREAD🧵I know some NEETs from poor families too. It's not exclusively a rich parents thing (though that does make it easier), some parents dote their kids enough that even when everyone's broke, the kid isn't on the streets. In the specific example I immediately thought of, they survive on very little and some government benefits/food banks. The guy basically just sits on his computer all day playing games, browsing social media, etc. He will one day go back to college (which is why he's not working so… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 29/06/26 05:30 PM |
| 8 | What everyday disadvantages of feminism do you experience?my social circle si made out of people who are least likely to divorce in any (somewhat) developed country (AKA people who are college educated, have stable jobs and incomes etc) so divorce has been very, very rare in my social circle. This is the problem in general with using omnibus statistics (the most general level) vs. situational statistics. We can't treat all marriages the same, just like we can't treat all dating environments the same. The late-teens and young-20s face dating pressures t… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 29/06/26 04:12 PM |
| 2 | DISCUSSION🗨️ ABOUT MAIN PPD POSTS📮, LOOKS👀, AND N-COUNT🔢 ARE RESTRICTED🚫 FROM THE DAILY🌞 MEGATHREAD🧵Lots of people are increasingly staying at their family/parents' homes. And more people are getting roommates or accepting that they'll have roommates for a longer period of time. Ironically, both of these things negatively impact dating as well. I think a lot of women at some point will want a partner who lives on their own. Certainly in my 30s, the dating pool was not as receptive to those with roommates (though some will understand, I think the preference is nevertheless still there). | /r/PurplePillDebate | 26/06/26 08:04 PM |
| 2 | DISCUSSION🗨️ ABOUT MAIN PPD POSTS📮, LOOKS👀, AND N-COUNT🔢 ARE RESTRICTED🚫 FROM THE DAILY🌞 MEGATHREAD🧵Hey now, some of us are white collar workers too! I personally love family and life, but I work with some who you can tell they stay late because they'd rather do work than be at home. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 26/06/26 07:58 PM |
| 5 | Why do women on this sub seem to consider pregnancy to never be worth it.Interestingly, I get where that comes from. But even then, I think it's a post-hoc thing. It's reasoning to make sense of an urge that's largely subconscious. It's male-coded because I think a lot of guys here are traditional or from more traditional backgrounds, so they invoke that word because it has more traditional significance. From a liberal/progressive person, I want kids because. In my opinion of myself, there's not really a logic beyond that that's not me just making up a narrative. Sur… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 26/06/26 07:42 PM |
| 10 | Inability to attract a woman isn’t always bad personality.It's context-specific to dating only. "Bad personality" doesn't mean crazy, dangerous, unethical, criminal, etc. In context, it means the personality doesn't add to attraction. A "good" personality in dating can be contextually bad in others. Someone very bubbly and animated can be "good" for dating, they seem enthused, eager, excited, engaged. That same bubbliness looks fake and performative in my corporate office, it would be considered a "bad" personality or neutral at best for the kind of wo… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 26/06/26 05:49 PM |
| 4 | The idea that men shouldn’t approach women is dying out in the mainstreamI think that explains in part why the OLD pool is the mess that it is too. I've hit it off with quite a few in the apps and it falls completely flat in person. I understand the appeal for some, there are real advantages to the apps and heck I met my wife that way. But speaking strictly for myself as more of a 'normie', it only papers over your social weaknesses temporarily, at some point you do need to be physically in each other's presence. If you were this swoon-worthy charmer in text but fall… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 26/06/26 03:29 PM |
| 4 | Most men here don't just have dating problem, they're severely under-socialized in general.There's a video floating out there of a woman's before-and-after where she had some jaw/chin surgery done and honestly it's pretty night-and-day. Idk what your exact situation is but I can certainly say that woman likely got a notable boost when it comes to first impressions. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 25/06/26 03:12 PM |
| 12 | Most men here don't just have dating problem, they're severely under-socialized in general.Yeah, you basically need a super sponsor friend to vouch for you until everyone else is comfortable, that gets rarer and harder to pull off the older you get. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 25/06/26 03:08 PM |
| 2 | DISCUSSION🗨️ ABOUT MAIN PPD POSTS📮, LOOKS👀, AND N-COUNT🔢 ARE RESTRICTED🚫 FROM THE DAILY🌞 MEGATHREAD🧵From what I've discussed with some legal persons in the past, this seems to vary by jurisdiction. So definitely consult your divorce attorney on if it brings added value in your local circuit. Some courts vest the judge with a lot of discretionary powers where they do their darndest to be 'equal' even if it would seem justifiable that the one cheated on should get more favorable treatement. That said, aside from a legal benefit, there's social value in bringing it up too. Some communities judge … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 24/06/26 06:49 PM |
| 2 | DISCUSSION🗨️ ABOUT MAIN PPD POSTS📮, LOOKS👀, AND N-COUNT🔢 ARE RESTRICTED🚫 FROM THE DAILY🌞 MEGATHREAD🧵To many here, I (at 37) would be an older guy. But why would I hate on the younger guys, I knew their struggles once. I get annoyed at the doomerism but that's generation-agnostic. You folks just wait 10-15 years and go have a beer with one of your friends who peaked in high school lamenting how they're forgotten by the world. Same vibe, just different timeline. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 24/06/26 06:41 PM |
| 2 | DISCUSSION🗨️ ABOUT MAIN PPD POSTS📮, LOOKS👀, AND N-COUNT🔢 ARE RESTRICTED🚫 FROM THE DAILY🌞 MEGATHREAD🧵I tend to avoid people who make their whole personality one thing or another in general. Very few exceptions for noble causes like charity or something, but even then. The people in your above are chronically unhappy people, which unfortunately is another camp I avoid or engage with only sparingly. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 24/06/26 06:36 PM |
| 1 | Most 'Nice' guys aren't nice at all. They just lack standards, boundaries and integrity while making it as niceness.Most women don’t want a guy whom they have turned down to keep hanging around I think this is speaking from the perspective of wisdom and age. Many women, especially younger ones, do try to keep these friends around and act as though nothing's changed because they hope the crush is temporary and will fade. Age and experience makes it easier to harden hearts and avoid the pitfall (you'd rather they just move on vs. stick around and navigate the complications). But young relationships and friendsh… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 24/06/26 05:57 PM |
| 6 | Most 'Nice' guys aren't nice at all. They just lack standards, boundaries and integrity while making it as niceness.I remember once at the bar, when hanging out with these two random women, we all got shots and it was just implicitly assumed by them I'd pay for them when the bill arrives. Kind of amusing in retrospect, though they basically blanked me afterwards when I said separate checks. Mind you, I wasn't even trying to put the charm on them, they were literally college friends of friends of friends at a mutual event. Like yeah, they shot me some looks but so what. I can't remember what they look like any… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 24/06/26 05:44 PM |
| 2 | Too many men are obsessed with masculinity when it’s really they’re not acting like adults.I get the point you’re making. That said, the same action can definitely be seen differently, in this case, by a gendered lens. It’s the same reason why I can make some (Asian) jokes that would be pretty insensitive for a white person to say. Same joke, different lens of interpretation. Similarly, the amount of aggression I demonstrate and get away with is a lot higher because I’m a 5’3” male. My physical threat is smaller than a 6’0” guy. And a woman who’s physically abusive in real life to her… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 24/06/26 05:03 PM |
| 0 | DISCUSSION🗨️ ABOUT MAIN PPD POSTS📮, LOOKS👀, AND N-COUNT🔢 ARE RESTRICTED🚫 FROM THE DAILY🌞 MEGATHREAD🧵I got a -1 before in a thread where I mentioned that you don't need fancy gym equipment to exercise, just run a mile a day in less than 15 minutes and it's literally free. Sometimes when the comment is deep enough, the one or two people who bothered to read it and disagree wins out over logic lol. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 22/06/26 04:41 PM |
| 1 | DISCUSSION🗨️ ABOUT MAIN PPD POSTS📮, LOOKS👀, AND N-COUNT🔢 ARE RESTRICTED🚫 FROM THE DAILY🌞 MEGATHREAD🧵I'm sure some will acknowledge they're not the best of fathers, but to your point, they'll oversell what contributions they did make. But in the minorest of their defenses, most people do not have a good gauge of what other people contribute. I would like to think I'm doing a solid job contributing as a dad, but that's relative to the horror stories I've heard from other parents and relative to my own dad vs. my mom's impact growing up. These bad fathers might do about the same as what they rece… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 22/06/26 04:39 PM |
| 4 | Who cares about men being expected to pay on dates? Why care?If one is doing fine? They’re not going to sweat the little stuff. Abundance mentality basically. Lotta cosplayers these days talking up being a provider but they penny-pinch on a $8 coffee when given the chance to showcase their provision ability. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 22/06/26 04:23 PM |
| 12 | People are too in love with social media validation to give it up for a partner who doesn’t beat that attentionAs an elder Millennial, my generation doesn't seem to care as much (but we're also near or in our 40s). But the cohort at work that I mentor are in their mid-to-late 20s and they're pretty obsessed. My nieces are starting to hit those teen years where 'branding' is currency as well. At the very least, I think most dabble in it, especially the younger generation. But most also quickly figure out that it's a double-edged sword. One of my good friends who's in her mid-30s is still single and honest… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 22/06/26 04:20 PM |
| – | Why obsess over women with terrible boyfriends?I have a couple of these in my larger circles. It's basically a combination of: mild-mannered and inoffensive, but also unnoticeable. Doesn't add much to the presence of the room and if they're gone nobody really notices either kind of vibe. one is smaller than average, like 5'5" I think? Within our larger friends circle that I've seen him in, he's the 3rd shortest person (myself being second and the shortest is a woman). I think height and dating is a well-trodden topic so I should be able to l… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 17/06/26 05:05 PM |
| – | Why obsess over women with terrible boyfriends?And I'm not sure if mass acceptance/acknowledgement of this actually makes a difference (there will just be a lament instead that this isn't true), but at least people will complain about something else? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 17/06/26 04:48 PM |
| 1 | DISCUSSION🗨️ ABOUT MAIN PPD POSTS📮, LOOKS👀, AND N-COUNT🔢 ARE RESTRICTED🚫 FROM THE DAILY🌞 MEGATHREAD🧵It seems like in the midwest at least, everyone grew up on steamed veggies. Which, yeah, no wonder why it tasted terrible to you lol. I don't really get the time argument either, roasting inside an oven only takes a fraction more time than steaming and tastes a heck lot better with a sprinkling of salt and a little bit of oil. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 15/06/26 05:39 PM |
| 3 | DISCUSSION🗨️ ABOUT MAIN PPD POSTS📮, LOOKS👀, AND N-COUNT🔢 ARE RESTRICTED🚫 FROM THE DAILY🌞 MEGATHREAD🧵Modern problems require modern solutions. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 15/06/26 05:33 PM |
| 1 | Are men who gossip or make fun of others generally considered attractive to women?Across the half dozen or so jobs I've worked in the past ~20 years, over half of which are 'professional' jobs, there have always been gossip. Most of it is benign and non-malicious, but yeah, even in a male-dominated office there's a rumor mill swirling. Like you, wife and I exchange tea all the time, we've been to each other's work functions so there's faces to the names of the stories. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 15/06/26 05:27 PM |
| – | Women are larping loneliness.It’s the classic good relationship > being single > bad relationship. If it’s between a good relationship and being single, of course the choice is easy. And while the grass might seem greener to be in a bad relationship than being single at all (especially for someone with very limited/no relationship experience, which seems to be a notable percentage of this sub’s active posters). Those with at least some relationship experience would 99/100 choose to be single instead of being in a bad one. O… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 15/06/26 02:56 PM |
| – | DISCUSSION🗨️ ABOUT MAIN PPD POSTS📮, LOOKS👀, AND N-COUNT🔢 ARE RESTRICTED🚫 FROM THE DAILY🌞 MEGATHREAD🧵I think it speaks to a certain malaise about our relationship with work and modernity in general that this mindset is becoming vogue among a small subset of the young. That and idealizing the past in some sense. Except when the past is idealized, they gloss over all the parts that made those setups really painful and focus on the positives. Coming from a developing nation where my grandmother and mother and probably all those before them work field jobs, Idk anyone who gushes about the trad life… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 12/06/26 04:32 PM |
| – | DISCUSSION🗨️ ABOUT MAIN PPD POSTS📮, LOOKS👀, AND N-COUNT🔢 ARE RESTRICTED🚫 FROM THE DAILY🌞 MEGATHREAD🧵Bro, when I worked retail and messed up, the shift after us had to fix the issue. It's tied to the activity, not the work setting. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 12/06/26 04:26 PM |
| 4 | Discernment needs to be reworked.What do you propose otherwise? Getting your average person to even think about red flags to begin with is already a large hurdle. Some people learn after one bad exposure, others need their fingers burned multiple times with scars before they reconsider touching a hot stove. You're right, every test maker, metric benchmarker, and goal setter knows if you make a certain criterion the end-all, then everyone games that metric. That doesn't inherently mean the alternative of not having it is better.… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 11/06/26 04:08 PM |
| -1 | When it comes to chores, it's not that men won't help out/pull their weight. Women just hate to see men relaxing.I think some of it is exaggeration - some people like to claim they put in a lot more time than they actually do. But to your point, I have long suspected that most people are just very inefficient too, especially when it's work they don't enjoy doing. Instead of looking for efficiencies to speed things up while still doing well, they either do a half-job to cut down on the time or just suffer through it nobly like some sort of martyrdom so they have something to talk up about. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 11/06/26 03:45 PM |
| 8 | When it comes to chores, it's not that men won't help out/pull their weight. Women just hate to see men relaxing.I think in some cases it's an OCD-lite thing where they feel compelled to clean because things have to be a certain way for them to feel at ease. That and having a sense of routine and control. One of my coworkers dust her TV stand and shelves and vacuum her living room carpet daily. The difference between that and doing it twice a week or even just weekly is nigh unnoticeable unless you live in a dust bowl without windows or badly need an indoor air filter. People live how they want of course, … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 11/06/26 02:56 PM |
| 10 | Most Lesbian or Bisexual women do NOT have more game than straight men. It is simply easier as a girl to date.It’s like watching a Kdrama romance slow burn. Omg, it’s episode 8 of 20, their pinkies finally briefly touched. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 10/06/26 05:25 PM |
| 3 | Red Pill Men Don't Want Traditional Wives. They Want Adult Children Who Can Also Be Their Mommy.On the one hand, I’m around long enough to have seen the shift and agree with you. The whining of RP today would get torn to shreds and derisively mocked endlessly 10ish years ago. RP resonated back then to me for, if nothing else, the “git gud” mentality. No stunting, no posing on media. You either succeed or you don’t, that’s the only metric. On the other hand, language and usage evolves. This supposed golden age of RP, however long it lasted, doesn’t seem to be the vogue anymore. Older folks … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 10/06/26 05:22 PM |
| 1 | How do you reconcile the 'hypergamy' argument with the rise of high-earning, successful women in modern dating?To your last point, I imagine it would be linked to the biological mechanisms associated with us being a social species. I don’t think we have that fully worked out, but I’m sure it’s beyond doubt at this point that us being a social species **is** biological at some deep level. Our species being so adept at organically achieving a hierarchy out of any collection of people is another tip off for me. Where there’s hierarchy, there’s a higher/lower relative level of ‘status’ which I’ll be delibera… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 10/06/26 05:01 PM |
| – | Men like different types, Woman like different flavors.Leaving race aside, if you compare the men seen as super hot in western media vs. eastern media, they are not that similar. The degree of muscular/lean also matters. I’ll just use the co-lead of Pursuit of Jade as an example since that’s the hot 2026 Cdrama. There’s almost no emphasis on his build throughout other than that he’s a capable soldier and is looks normal-weight. Hell, the first third of the show in his recovery from injury arc, the guy was wandering around with a cane. He’s got a ver… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 06/06/26 08:18 PM |
| 28 | Men and women do not live the same lifeThe word below is not in your post at all. It's all about the average man vs. average woman. Which as others have noted is not what the actual "average man" experiences. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 05/06/26 06:23 PM |
| – | Many men on Reddit who seek long-term relationships claim that OLD is not working out for them (barely any likes, matches or dates), many women on Reddit who seek the same thing claim that there are almost no good men to choose from (most matches seek casual sex, are incompatible or creepy)Oh, without doubt lol. People bicker about being ranked for anything, something like attractiveness is a lot more personal. If the test is subjective, they'll say bias. If the test is objective, they'll say it's incomplete/ignore crucial context (even if said context is irrelevant for an outcome-based scenario). I also highly suspect that if we're being honest, a lot of average/below-average people are not enthused about matching their algo-determined peers and showing up to things. I think the … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 03/06/26 03:01 PM |
| 1 | Dating offline is honestly worse than online dating for most Gen Z men who want to date Gen Z womenI deal with this in management all the time. The best employees don't need managers. They're self-motivated and you just sort of make sure they stay doing work that aligns with the team goals. The lesser employees need more supervision, but they're also typically the most vocal about being managed. It's rare someone is subpar and has the humility to recognize that. Usually, those people don't stay subpar and later on become employees who can handle their own. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 02/06/26 04:08 PM |
| – | DISCUSSION🗨️ ABOUT MAIN PPD POSTS📮, LOOKS👀, AND N-COUNT🔢 ARE RESTRICTED🚫 FROM THE DAILY🌞 MEGATHREAD🧵I obviously don't know you or your setup. But yeah, sometimes people do their best and it's not enough. If you think you're tapped out of ideas/approaches, I believe you. I'll acknowledge it sucks for as long as you'd want that validation. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 01/06/26 09:46 PM |
| 3 | Men want all the upside of being women without any downsides and call it "female privilege"Honestly, it sounds like you're not as 'hung up' on things as so many women are due to upbringing. I grew up in a more traditional family so I understand. My wife's good friend had a lot of unspoken expectation about how to be courted and treated in a relationship, including in the bedroom. She almost never verbalized these things though and constantly found herself disappointed in her attempts at relationships. It took a lot of therapy for her to reach a new baseline and land in a healthy relat… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 01/06/26 09:33 PM |
| – | DISCUSSION🗨️ ABOUT MAIN PPD POSTS📮, LOOKS👀, AND N-COUNT🔢 ARE RESTRICTED🚫 FROM THE DAILY🌞 MEGATHREAD🧵The average person can barely handle algebra, they're not gonna get narrate the tradeoffs with any precision. It also requires people to have self-introspection to a level that's unrealistic. We already observe how verbalized vs. revealed preferences deviate, precisely because a typical person can say they want ABC but when offered, actually choose CDE on the regular. We can stick to dating, but this applies to basically anything we do as people. People want to eat healthy, but in the moment the… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 01/06/26 09:24 PM |
| – | DISCUSSION🗨️ ABOUT MAIN PPD POSTS📮, LOOKS👀, AND N-COUNT🔢 ARE RESTRICTED🚫 FROM THE DAILY🌞 MEGATHREAD🧵I'm not denying your experience. I'm a 5'3" guy in a country where most women are taller, I get the feeling. I spent more years single than partnered. I'm just pointing out that you have clear empirical evidence in the form of lived experiences that you can't bank on attractiveness. Focusing on that is not going to make you feel any better. Yes, it sucks. I'll say that as many times as you want to hear it to feel validated. But at some point, you gotta revisit the drawing board and find a differ… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 01/06/26 09:21 PM |
| 3 | DISCUSSION🗨️ ABOUT MAIN PPD POSTS📮, LOOKS👀, AND N-COUNT🔢 ARE RESTRICTED🚫 FROM THE DAILY🌞 MEGATHREAD🧵I mean, harsh truth is, many of us aren't attractive. You can be the most attractive version of yourself though (most people do not get this far). And yeah, sometimes even that's not enough. You're gonna have to win people over with something or several things other than looks. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 01/06/26 08:45 PM |
| 2 | Dating offline is honestly worse than online dating for most Gen Z men who want to date Gen Z womenI get that, my group is now going through the having children phase and getting together is much more difficult than it used to be. On the other hand, I will say that older friends can be better in some ways. They flake more due to family commitments, but they flake less for superficial, in-the-moment reasons (or at least, people who do this consistently don't get invited to things anymore). It of course depends on your hobbies too. Around me, co-ed sports are a decent way to meet new friends. O… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 01/06/26 06:21 PM |
| 8 | Dating offline is honestly worse than online dating for most Gen Z men who want to date Gen Z womenI'll give you that flakiness is an all-time high these days, and that people are essentially on the sidelines waiting for a winner before jumping in. That said, this has always been the dread for anyone organizing an event. You kinda have to build a callus to people flaking and over time a core group will emerge. It's not personal: a lot of people are just non-committal and will take the path of least resistance when the moment calls (aka staying home and vegging rather than showing up to someth… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 01/06/26 05:54 PM |
| 15 | Why do many men find a clumsy, socially awkward, maladjusted woman acceptable for casual sex, but women don’t?On the other hand, I have close female friends who have more or less told the pretty guy who's a bit more...simple, to just not talk too much so they don't get distracted lol. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 20/05/26 03:28 PM |
| – | Where does this myth that men age like fine wine come from?Most people are in their physical prime from 28-32. And for those who manage to look good when they're older, it's a combination of good genes and actually keeping up with a lot of work to be that way - skincare, sunblock, exercise, proper diet and vitamins/supplements/nutrition, etc. And if you have a young-looking face, hitting your late 20s/30s is great because you finally start growing into your looks. I also find that work takes me more seriously too. It's harder for people to think of some… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 14/05/26 05:48 PM |
| 2 | The manospheres biggest liesocial connections seem weaker than ever. It takes more effort to break through the comforts of solo entertainment these days. The problem is shared with older generations too, they just got to experience a longer lifetime first pre-phone/internet where you didn't really have a choice but to interact face-to-face. There were loners back then too, there are just more loners now. You can toss your face into a game, a show on Netflix, endless doomscrolling, etc. and order food/groceries off an app … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 13/05/26 04:56 PM |
| 9 | The manospheres biggest lieThat statistic is just not useful in general. 25 vs. 44 is a huge range in terms of lifestyle and life markers. At 25, people might be graduating college with 1-3 years of work exp. At 44, they've probably married and had kids if they wanted to, might still be married or divorced, have a decade+ long career, a mortgage that's net positive equity, etc. The 25-30 group is probably predominantly single/childless, much larger than 45% since the average marriage age is pushing towards 30 these days a… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 13/05/26 04:44 PM |
| 13 | There are 3 genders in dating: High-value men (HVM), Women, and Low-value men (LVM).... And it seems like the HVMs, and LVMs have more practical approaches than Women.The Fox News line lol. “The mainstream media won’t report this!” Meanwhile, is mainstream media. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 11/05/26 10:53 PM |
| 15 | There are 3 genders in dating: High-value men (HVM), Women, and Low-value men (LVM).... And it seems like the HVMs, and LVMs have more practical approaches than Women.Wait, you think men were the first to do what is essentially looksmaxxing? Brooooooo. Your forum example is also limited because women by and large strategize and seek community/venting in person and not on chat boards. I would even say that the type to blow up FSD or 2X are highly unrepresentative of your average woman in the dating pool. My wife for example finds relationships and dating to be interesting topics, does not browse any of these subs. She thinks I’m a bit insane at times chatting … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 11/05/26 10:09 PM |
| 2 | Has Red Pill Advice Made You More Successful in Sexual/Romantic Relationships / Dating?To your point, none of these bullets are revolutionary, but would any of the above sexist bits also be unique to RP? General self-improvement is mainstream, but we could have said the same of misogyny. I'll bet any of those elements can be found in something that precedes whatever we consider is the origin of RP. They're equally uncreative with the the negative bits as positive ones. Mainstream ideas also routinely contradict each other. I mean, let's just take 1 and 2 (don't get fixated, and do… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 11/05/26 09:38 PM |
| 3 | Has Red Pill Advice Made You More Successful in Sexual/Romantic Relationships / Dating?Broadly speaking, no singular idea is ever unique to any ideology, it's a framework for interpreting life events. I think if anything looking for ideas that can't fit into a framework is where you expose its value or liability. Broadly speaking, the above framework is very individualistic. It is RP to someone who was raised in a much more collectivistic culture and background like myself and many other Asians with strict immigrant parents. It does against basically all of our conventional wisdom… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 11/05/26 07:09 PM |
| 6 | Has Red Pill Advice Made You More Successful in Sexual/Romantic Relationships / Dating?I'm not OP, but I did cross paths with RP in its pre-podcast bro subscribe to get grifted form back in like '09 when I was running around in college. Idk if I had "strategies" per se, but some things I got from reading a few books were: Don't get fixated. Best cure to oneitis is to move on. You probably don't know the real her, just the idea of her you want to believe in. It's a lot easier to chase a maybe/yes than convince a no to give you a shot. If you sense no, just move on quickly. Expert s… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 11/05/26 06:29 PM |
| 5 | Why do some women, especially on Reddit, instantly assume that men who simply vent about dating struggles are entitled to a relationship?To the last point, it's not unique to men, so I don't think it's all that disparaging. Defeatism and doomerism is pervasive in the youth. It creates a 'win more' effect where the ones who can break through it continuously make progress and accumulates while the rest stagnates, so you see an increasing divide between the floor and the ceiling in terms of outcomes. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 11/05/26 05:53 PM |
| 11 | Why do some women, especially on Reddit, instantly assume that men who simply vent about dating struggles are entitled to a relationship?Stereotypically, this is what a lot of men are like lol. Though maybe this is just me, I've definitely softened on it a lot after 35. I think it's a preemptive "not going to burn brain juice on it these days unless my number is specifically called." | /r/PurplePillDebate | 11/05/26 04:09 PM |
| 22 | Why do some women, especially on Reddit, instantly assume that men who simply vent about dating struggles are entitled to a relationship?Truth's true though. For a bro I know? Absolutely. For a rando who probably would go back to doomerism right after their vent? That sucks man, hope things improve for you. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 11/05/26 04:07 PM |
| 2 | Should women reject men that don’t treat them like they would a top 1% Stacy?I think that's why more and more young people aren't dating. Standards are higher than what's around. And standards when people are young are heavily superficial-based. People adjust more to the realism as time goes on. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 11/05/26 04:02 PM |
| 4 | It seems that after the breakup, women are with a new guy almost instantly, while guys have to go through a crazy long dry spellWhy aren't the Christian women immediately pouncing on the attractive husband material Christian man when he's back on the market? They are, my guy. There's three parts to the premise, attractive, husband-material, and Christian. Any newly single guy with all three will be dating in like a month tops (if he wanted to). Usually, the newly single guy is no longer all that attractive (we all age and most let go of themselves physically during an LTR), or he wasn't all that husband material, or he's… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 07/05/26 05:38 PM |
| – | women hate “choose better” because they dont like the responsibility of when their choices go bad. And it only applies to them.I mentioned this a while back, but there are so many people who engage in my hobbies online that it's genuinely surprising at times when I make a meme reference and nobody catches it in 'real life.' Same for work life vs. regular life too I guess. Lots of random Latin phrases in law that doesn't really land in most contexts (though it's fun to reset the "when was the last time you thought of the Roman empire?" clock for some people). | /r/PurplePillDebate | 06/05/26 07:56 PM |
| – | young men were not a priority until the red pill came along. Suddenly they need to be "protected" Selective Righteousness and Narrative Caontrol.If the voters don't send a clear resounding rejection in the primary that lukewarm pro-corp messaging isn't cutting it anymore, then frankly the party leadership isn't as wrong as they thought. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 06/05/26 04:55 PM |
| 4 | Redpill is the result negative result of a society not having enough masculine role models.Only change I'd add is to your last paragraph. It has been acknowledged for a long time that looks help, but as an "obvious" undercurrent rather than explicitly something to be focused on. Presumably, this is to avoid tunneling in on 'shallow' factors and instead focus on more enduring ones like 'values.' I understand the impulse though of course, this is an example of where well-meaning leads to a gap in actual outcomes. I'd liken it to coaching little league. When your pool of players are not … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 06/05/26 04:29 PM |
| – | women hate “choose better” because they dont like the responsibility of when their choices go bad. And it only applies to them.Me personally, I don't care for choose better because it's sans context. We assume there's a "better" to choose from. If you're dying of thirst and your choice is fresh non-potable water or seawater, there's no 'better' choice of bottled freshwater. Yes, you can always not date (going back to main context), and many will choose that at some point once they realize the options they do have suck. Guess what, men aren't happy when women stop dating either. I'll add another reason as to why it also … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 06/05/26 04:12 PM |
| – | CMV: Traditional "gentleman" gestures are mostly performative and not indicative of authenticityI'm a tiny bit bummed (just a bit) the tie has seemingly gone away in corporate. The little extra color/texture pop was one of the few ways men can uniquely accessorize in your standard work attire. It's still there if you go full dress mode, but even casual jacket mode nowadays eschews the tie more often than not. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 06/05/26 03:10 PM |
| 1 | What is it like wanting female validation badlyI think it's degree of focus on the 'utility' sans interest. I remembered having a conversation about this in my 20s where I asked if I wanted to attract women by playing musical instruments, which is best? It offended several people because it seemed like the music/instrument itself was secondary. Like if it was a different hobby, it wouldn't have mattered so long as the main goal was to attract women with it. It's seemingly okay if my desire to attract a partner was a bonus motivator in additi… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 04/05/26 05:30 PM |
| 1 | DISCUSSION🗨️ ABOUT MAIN PPD POSTS📮, LOOKS👀, AND N-COUNT🔢 ARE RESTRICTED🚫 FROM THE DAILY🌞 MEGATHREAD🧵arghh, by seconds! | /r/PurplePillDebate | 04/05/26 05:12 PM |
| 6 | Men need their own way out of romantic dependencyThis seems to happen in every culture and every generation. I suppose it depends on what people tunnel on in the past. Me personally, I'm not sure there was a time in US history other than the present that would have been better for me overall. There were windows of time perhaps and certain cities where life wouldn't have been so bad I guess. But nothing I'd prefer over my modern life and lifestyle, even if not every aspect of it was better than days gone by. I definitely think raising children … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 01/05/26 04:47 PM |
| 1 | DISCUSSION🗨️ ABOUT MAIN PPD POSTS📮, LOOKS👀, AND N-COUNT🔢 ARE RESTRICTED🚫 FROM THE DAILY🌞 MEGATHREAD🧵Eye contact is probably a non-negotiable in a therapist lol. But yeah, without knowing specifics, I'm guessing that your posture is communicating a sense of 'walling' or 'closing off.' It's what people do when they're feeling defensive and not totally comfortable. Add to that fidgeting and it might get interpreted as being on edge or nervous. I myself like to fidget and keep my hands busy while doing meetings, so I get that. Would definitely recommend working on posture though. It's also just go… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 30/04/26 05:07 PM |
| 1 | DISCUSSION🗨️ ABOUT MAIN PPD POSTS📮, LOOKS👀, AND N-COUNT🔢 ARE RESTRICTED🚫 FROM THE DAILY🌞 MEGATHREAD🧵Is it a posture thing? Like you sit cross-legged, obliquely tilted away from the client looking wounded up while fidgeting? I get how some people are more comfortable sitting in a leaning manner. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 30/04/26 04:52 PM |
| 1 | DISCUSSION🗨️ ABOUT MAIN PPD POSTS📮, LOOKS👀, AND N-COUNT🔢 ARE RESTRICTED🚫 FROM THE DAILY🌞 MEGATHREAD🧵What are your body language tells people seem to be cluing on and what are you presenting? I've seen some people do things like stay primarily behind a podium or stage presentations where they sit to minimize certain tells like fidgeting. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 30/04/26 04:34 PM |
| 10 | If many women say you are a total catch but won’t date you, the harsh truth is that they are lying to you.I'd add that great traits don't necessarily mean you're going to match what the people you want to date are looking for. Qualities that make for stable relationships are appreciated the older people get. It's a common experience for younger Asians for example to get focused hard on academics and jobs by our parents. It trains a mindset for discipline, responsibility, organization, respect for effort, etc. which are generally good to great qualities for relationships. But when you're young like s… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 30/04/26 03:34 PM |
| 2 | Men often look for a stable relationship in order to have a regular sex life.It’ll be the best 30 seconds of her life! Can be 10 though if she’s in a hurry. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 29/04/26 05:09 PM |
| 6 | Men often look for a stable relationship in order to have a regular sex life.How dare you seek to create a stable and safe environment to connect and express your intimate desires rather than just trusting that a random encounter has your best interest at heart. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 29/04/26 03:59 PM |
| 5 | Men often look for a stable relationship in order to have a regular sex life.It is so incredibly open that if it were gay, it wouldn’t have even started inside the closet. This is poetry. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 29/04/26 03:53 PM |
| 0 | Any movement that aims to "decenter" the other gender is and has always been fraudulent.The one thing I feel confident about is spending time on this sub seems to make people hate people more in general I think it reinforces your existing opinions of people. I actually come out feeling more empathy for people as a whole. There's clearly a lot of trauma all around and I tend to dislike using that word because of how 'yassified' it's become, but in this case I think it's true. In some ways though it's definitely 'hardened my heart' too. I have far less patience for doomerism in gener… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 21/04/26 03:13 PM |
| 9 | Conspiracy : We will see never seen levels off self improving in the next Years for Men, and it will get really bad.Wife and I joke quite often that had we met in our 20s, there's about a 0.01% we would have ever made it as a couple. Our values would have meshed well even then but our respective personalities would have been too far apart. Where we are today is still fairly distinct (and often a source of humor on good days to a source of friction and frustration on rough ones) but close enough to build something stable together. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 21/04/26 02:27 PM |
| 1 | Women should focus on finding the best man they can, with what they've got.Nothing wrong with advocacy even if it is or should be the common sense or default position. Don't drink and drive is the baseline sensible position and yet many lives are lost annually because people won't heed it. I would even say people should spread the word because alternative positions will always crop up to undermine it. Scientists learned the hard way that anti-science flavors permeate and spread virally and won't be swayed by science alone. The messaging is to make sure the neutrals hav… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 20/04/26 06:16 PM |
| 6 | Women should focus on finding the best man they can, with what they've got.It seems like there's a lot of people advocating against women doing what I've written. Well yes. If I want your behavior to change, I'd advocate for something else. Which suggests to me then that many/most women are already doing what you're suggesting they should do. The people advocating something different are motivated to suggest an alternative because of any number of reasons (some self-serving, some societal-serving in their perspective, right or wrong). If I'm in the alcohol/tobacco indu… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 20/04/26 05:02 PM |
| 3 | Why are there no "BP/non-redpill" dating advice media?Nah, this is just classic developing-economy become a provider advice from the boomers. Note how it ignores two of three RP pillars (looks and game) because it assumes there’ll be a woman back home who will want a career man from the States to sponsor her new life. It’s as blue pill as it gets since it’s literally the mainstream first-gen immigrant messaging from parents to their kids. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 17/04/26 10:27 PM |
| 3 | Why are there no "BP/non-redpill" dating advice media?So this isn’t pill-related, but you stir memories of grad school for me. There were quite a few debates back in the day about the ethics of professors writing books and charging money for consulting services based on conventional research findings that they add a unique twist on. The twist itself is usually just a naming or rebrand of an existing concept or idea. It’s sort of like selling tires by saying you’ve discovered a new circular encapsulation wrapping layer or “cewl” for short. Now makin… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 17/04/26 07:01 PM |
| 14 | Why are there no "BP/non-redpill" dating advice media?I’ll add an Asian version: become doctor or lawyer and marry girl from back home. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 17/04/26 06:38 PM |
| – | Why do men tend to be so mean to fat women?They just don't think a guy's just going to be lucky, there has to be a reason. So they'll make up one to feel better about what they're seeing. There seems to be a limit that I've occasionally bumped into. I dated this one woman who was 5'8" about 7ish years ago (I'm 5'3" and not particularly built or handsome or anything superficially signaling I'm rich, etc.). I've told this story before, but I might have caused our waitress's brain to briefly short circuit when she took a photo of us. Maybe … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 17/04/26 02:41 PM |
| 2 | Do you understand what men mean when men say that the risk is not worth the reward, in reference to women today, and approaching women, and being in relationships with women?There's a whole subreddit for it. I followed for a while before they migrated platforms. Some of the stories are legit, and tbf I have heard that statement in real life too lol. But the real life one has a lot of understandable factors: she was a divorcee in her 40s, already has a kid (one of my best friends at the time), lives in a poor town where the average person makes like $30k a year. It's really hard to find a single man at that age range who isn't already partnered if they were the commi… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 15/04/26 04:40 PM |
| 9 | Do you understand what men mean when men say that the risk is not worth the reward, in reference to women today, and approaching women, and being in relationships with women?So, the anger is coming from the women who are not being approached by men anymore - not the other way around. Women who lament about not being approached are talking about men they already have some attraction to. The majority of men checking out of the game are usually not that. I'll even be blunt: most of them were hardly in the game to begin with. I'll concede to the crisis when you have a wave of Ryan Reynolds and Michael B Jordans not wanting to participate. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 15/04/26 04:37 PM |
| 19 | Do you understand what men mean when men say that the risk is not worth the reward, in reference to women today, and approaching women, and being in relationships with women?But it’s good to acknowledge that they aren’t being malicious so much as pathetic. While I love how much our society has pushed back against general bullying, some parts of me do think we've overdone it. People really do need more pushback when they're being 'pathetic' instead of validated. Yeah, this goes for women too, the young, the old, etc. Like I remembered with my first g/f I was being a bit of a manipulative jerk when I didn't get my way. One time I got called a sore loser. At the time i… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 15/04/26 04:28 PM |
| 4 | If there are no "Chads", with whom do woman have that much sex?Most sex occurs within a relationship. If you dated for only a month, bang like bunnies, and then break up, that’s not casual sex even if it feels like a gray area. Lots of young relationships rarely last all that long, and given how impatient everyone is these days, I wouldn’t be surprised if they’re even more unstable than before. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 13/04/26 05:14 PM |
| 2 | A woman who’s with an obviously terrible man is also a terrible person.It’s just kind of a people thing. How many bros (me included) dream of being a star soldier in battle doing all sorts of heroics? In reality, most soldiers who see direct combat have lasting trauma and a darkness they rarely ever want to touch on. Fantasy lets you strip away all the real dangers for some pretend danger and the thrills. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 13/04/26 03:32 PM |
| – | Does the female PPD community actually represent mainstream women?I think in the last PPD demographic survey, a sizable percentage here are neurodivergent, certainly higher than the population average. I think that explains a lot since many of the dating challenges an ND person encounters are amplified relative to a more neurotypical person. Like your social skill example, not all people with autism I’ve met are socially incapable, but almost all are below average, and some are extremely poor socially. Since dating and relationships are so coded in a lot of un… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 13/04/26 04:49 AM |
| 25 | There are a FAR too many cons than pros for dating for men.Are there numerically more cons than pros? Probably. But the pro, heck even one pro, can outweigh all the cons. I’d rather have one $100 bill than 100 quarters. Each man has to decide if that pro or small list of pros for themselves make up for the cons. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 06/04/26 09:21 PM |
| 1 | Whats your reasoning that you actually notice your own privilege?My lesbian friend once tried to pick up a girl by saying omg your butt is perfect, just sit on my face with like total sincerity. The other woman was straight and took it as a yassss queen moment. So yeah, maybe like 1% would ever pull that off with a stranger. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 02/04/26 12:30 AM |
| 1 | The refusal to date people is more born out of a cycle of normalized false beliefs, and in nothing ‘innate’ to what one is attracted toIf you're here for the irregularities of English, meet me at my yacht. Make sure to wear your best 18+ carat jewelry too, and we're serving carrots as a snack. My butler who's a total beau will be wearing a lovely red ribbon bow, waiting at the bow of the ship. For dinner we're having bread made from fresh dough, though we are expecting some rough waters. Such are the peaks and troughs of life by the waters. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 01/04/26 06:41 PM |
| 1 | The refusal to date people is more born out of a cycle of normalized false beliefs, and in nothing ‘innate’ to what one is attracted toAnd there, their, and they're. And I before E except after C, unless they're an atheist or your neighbor. Also make sure to perform a seance while out by the sea in Seattle. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 01/04/26 06:26 PM |
| 3 | CMV: "meeting women IRL" doesn’t magically bypass women’s standards in 2026 and people should stop acting like it doesSo many people I know straight up hate human behavior and trends categorized but would go on and self-classify with an MBTI type, which is actually one of the worst personality measures of all time. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 01/04/26 05:51 PM |
| 8 | Women collectively bring up extremely silly arguments to prove that they "have it harder" than men (Spoiler: They do not)Probably the ultra wealthy part. A little bit of wealth? Sure. Who begrudges a doctor who put in 30 years of work and retires with a summer home and a little nest egg for his kids. And then there's people for whom their passive dividends on just one of their stock holdings for the quarter is more than that doctor's entire life salary. Wealth on its own is probably a mostly neutral thing. But ultra wealth enables a person's worst aspects, and it turns out, there's a lot of real bad aspects. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 01/04/26 05:31 PM |
| 1 | It isn't fair to think autistic men have it worse than autistic women in dating or any part of lifeBut you both have it easier than Z group, which I happen to belong to, which is the most oppressed of all! | /r/PurplePillDebate | 31/03/26 03:17 PM |
| 6 | What is your Definition of "Pushing Boundaries"To your point, I think it's men 'probing' the boundaries (is she receptive to xyz) in the neutral/positive sense. This might be verbal but oftentimes it's more about reading body language and cues to gauge receptiveness for advancing. It becomes 'pushing' in the negative sense when the boundary is clearly there but they're trying to more actively move past it. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 24/03/26 04:06 PM |
| 12 | No one hates independent women, you are just arrogant and obnoxiousPresumably, it's some other man that would go for that job though and not themselves, since at this time they could just get a nursing degree and go become one. If anything, there's a high demand for male nurses and there's a shortage of nurses in general. And a bonus is that nursing is probably more AI-resistant than the collapsing software/IT market that so many have been pushed into the last decade or so. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 24/03/26 04:00 PM |
| 1 | Men should be happy to pay for the first dateSounds like a generational adjustment. Perhaps for the best. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 24/03/26 03:53 PM |
| 23 | No one hates independent women, you are just arrogant and obnoxiousHealthcare would collapse overnight as 3/4th of all nurses disappear from the workforce... | /r/PurplePillDebate | 24/03/26 03:45 PM |
| 1 | Men should be happy to pay for the first dateAgain I get where you're coming from, but $100 doesn't get you that far these days. My local Applebees has a choose 2 for $30 option. Throw in an app and let's push that to $40. I like to drink so I'll get a drink, which means the offer is presumably open for you as well. I think a beer was $7 last I saw so if we double that it's $56. Add in about $6 taxes (assuming no more drinks) and we're already at $62. 15% tips is another $8-9. So just a very basic meal is $70+ without really trying, and th… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 24/03/26 03:43 PM |
| 2 | Why do so many women avoid dating inside a communities?Ultimately, I try to avoid pinning it on generations and instead focus on the individuals. There were shy Millennials and Gen-Xers too. There are outgoing Gen-Zers who do not struggle with mingling and making introductions between friend groups. And the nice thing is that if your cohort as a whole is genuinely worse at being social/mingling, that means it's easier overall for you to surpass and take the lead. I know not everyone wants that role, but generally speaking, it's better to be in the d… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 24/03/26 03:31 PM |
| 0 | Men should be happy to pay for the first dateCoffee/ice cream dates are cute but I don't think they're very well-received by most women, at least not most dating-aged women in the gram and Tik Tok era. Yes, there are exceptions and I'm being overly stereotypical but I've only seen those types of first dates in my own personal life lead nowhere. They're excellent follow-up dates if you're already having fun and want to keep things going, but that necessitates already having a date that probably involved sitting down and eating somewhere. An… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 24/03/26 03:27 PM |
| 4 | Men should be happy to pay for the first dateIt's not even that cheap anymore if you involve any amounts of alcohol and then add tips (if American). Though I guess the younger generation doesn't drink as much so that's a minor saving. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 24/03/26 03:09 PM |
| 3 | Why do so many women avoid dating inside a communities?No one is setting up no one with their other friends, no matter the geneders It's not as direct as it used to be for sure. Sometimes you'll have to be the one to start an event that causes those intermixing to occur. Back when I was single, I used to host or cohost little get-togethers in my apartment complex. You'll be surprised how many people drop by just to eat some food and eventually you'll get a core group that sticks around. I did get one bro laid via introduction (friend of my then g/f)… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 24/03/26 03:02 PM |
| 9 | Why do so many women avoid dating inside a communities?It doesn't really matter what a few specific women think of it because there's always going to be women who love the idea of dating within their community. This is also why people should treat advice on the internet with a grain of salt or at least some distance. Think of all the advice as the various possibilities of what might make sense. But your life and the specific context/person involved is the ultimate barometer for if any of said advice is actually useful. Yes, people as a whole have pa… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 24/03/26 02:57 PM |
| 1 | DISCUSSION🗨️ ABOUT MAIN PPD POSTS📮, LOOKS👀, AND N-COUNT🔢 ARE RESTRICTED🚫 FROM THE DAILY🌞 MEGATHREAD🧵Speaking as a lactose intolerant person, ice cream is definitely the one. Apps are basically a money drain or bust these days, and alcohol is fun but way too expensive of an ROI unless it’s paid for by the company or something. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 23/03/26 10:23 PM |
| 1 | DISCUSSION🗨️ ABOUT MAIN PPD POSTS📮, LOOKS👀, AND N-COUNT🔢 ARE RESTRICTED🚫 FROM THE DAILY🌞 MEGATHREAD🧵Now that you mention it, I think that's how I found my way here too. Probably from relationship_advice or something like that. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 23/03/26 08:13 PM |
| 5 | DISCUSSION🗨️ ABOUT MAIN PPD POSTS📮, LOOKS👀, AND N-COUNT🔢 ARE RESTRICTED🚫 FROM THE DAILY🌞 MEGATHREAD🧵I don't see EU troops encroaching into Russia. I do see Russian troops in someone else's territory though. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 23/03/26 08:10 PM |
| 5 | Patriarchy is like footbinding in that it is an ugly deformity; it is like an accent in that it is hard to see your own.I respect that you gave it a thoughtful response. Your last bit reminds me of conversations surrounding climate change. How the conversation from activists often place moral burden on each of us, but precious little that we as each individual can actually do to meaningfully move the needle. Should I recycle and compost and consume consciously and less overall? Absolutely. Should I drive as little as is necessary? Sure. And if I were to eliminate my entire climate footprint, heck if most of us hu… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 17/03/26 06:39 PM |
| 9 | For people who have "given up" for longer than a year, how is your life now? Was it the correct choice?For what it's worth, this stranger is happy you stuck around past 19. It sounds like you've found some measure of peace. I wish you the best your situation allows. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 17/03/26 06:17 PM |
| 13 | For people who have "given up" for longer than a year, how is your life now? Was it the correct choice?Rough beats, thanks for sharing. I wish you the best your situation allows. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 17/03/26 06:08 PM |
| 1 | There's absolutely no point in marriage, for both genders.makes delegating responsibility from a legal pov overall easier and more organized This applies for marriages without children too. In the US at least, marriage allows one to share health insurance with their spouse, medical power of attorney, emergency room access, inheritance claims, joint tax filing, etc. Yes, most of these things can be achieved with some effort in an alternative manner if you don't want to go the marriage route, but it's so built-in to the concept that it becomes trivial. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 17/03/26 02:33 PM |
| 1 | There's absolutely no point in marriage, for both genders.They require tolerance for uncertainty. This does seem critically lacking in supply these days. Or perhaps always was. Won't take me long to find a quote from a hundred+ years ago along the lines of "I don't pretend to know where ignorant men are sure." | /r/PurplePillDebate | 17/03/26 02:27 PM |
| 3 | There's absolutely no point in marriage, for both genders.just a piece of paper and a dumb little ceremony, and that’s true too. but so much of human existence is like that, it only matters as much as we believe it matters. And once you (generic you, not you specifically) internalize this, life gets a lot better. Things you are 'supposed' to do becomes a choice, life becomes an active act and not just something you motion through. The end result might well be the same, but the sense of agency and how authentic and fulfilled you feel during the journey … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 17/03/26 02:21 PM |
| 2 | Dating is random/messy and cannot be predicted by either Red or Blue pill approachesI think that's the crux. You have a lot of people gathered here who aren't out-of-the-box interesting in ways that society appreciates. Punk scenes and Ren Faires have a certain critical threshold where people congregate and find each. But if you're into beetles collecting sorted into continents and climes, your pool of people who find that interesting is probably pretty darn small. Dating benefits a generalist who can balance multiple interests a lot better than niche, though I would happily co… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 12/03/26 07:25 PM |
| 1 | Dating is random/messy and cannot be predicted by either Red or Blue pill approacheswomen tend to view it more as luck and the universe and out of their control Even then, women clearly apply some level of logic. They know that some styles are better/worse than others for how they look. They know that being healthy is better than being too skinny or too large. Even the ones who claim to wear makeup for themselves only know that enhancing your own looks feels better than walking around without straight out of bed unkempt. It's not scientific theory or law, but principles of dati… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 12/03/26 07:16 PM |
| 1 | LOOKS WEEKLY DISCUSSION THREADIt's not all-or-nothing of course. But the reinforcement signal is weaker, so someone has to be well above average in ability to self-reflect in order to not fall into common traps. To your point, it's not even about coasting on looks and getting away with bad behavior. It's that even when you try to succeed on merit, it goes back to looks anyways. So when whether or not you try doesn't seem to matter, it's easier to check out and put effort somewhere else. Or when you might be punished for bad … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 09/03/26 05:48 PM |
| 7 | DISCUSSION🗨️ ABOUT MAIN PPD POSTS📮, LOOKS👀, AND N-COUNT🔢 ARE RESTRICTED🚫 FROM THE DAILY🌞 MEGATHREAD🧵Kind of fascinated by this type at a psychological level (assuming it's real and not performative but who knows). They're like the self-flagellants of old who feel the need to literally suffer pain on our collective sinning behalf. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 09/03/26 05:24 PM |
| 1 | DISCUSSION🗨️ ABOUT MAIN PPD POSTS📮, LOOKS👀, AND N-COUNT🔢 ARE RESTRICTED🚫 FROM THE DAILY🌞 MEGATHREAD🧵If you frame it as creating some respectful distance vs. walking away from, it'll be received a lot better. The end result might be the same but the messaging softens the ego. I've slow faded on some women over the years. You decline to hang out once or twice, the message will be received. Can always stay friendly and engaged in a group setting (if that comes up) but mostly non-engaged at a personal level. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 09/03/26 05:22 PM |
| 6 | Why do men “neg” women?A simp that you already like (which I don’t think is actually the definition of simp originally) is very different than the simp who can’t take a hint that feelings aren’t mutual and goes out of their way to “protect” you from men you are actually interested in, by showing how much better he is in ways you don’t actually care about because you weren’t interested to begin with. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 09/03/26 05:00 PM |
| – | Why is “MILF” a top porn category if men are only attracted to young women?It makes a bit more sense when we realize most of the men saying this stuff are late teens and 20s guys. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 08/03/26 06:33 PM |
| – | DISCUSSION🗨️ ABOUT MAIN PPD POSTS📮, LOOKS👀, AND N-COUNT🔢 ARE RESTRICTED🚫 FROM THE DAILY🌞 MEGATHREAD🧵Doesn't sound like you're back together though. At least, that's kind of a terrible precedent for a relationship. By all means have a sleepover if you're inclined but healthy relationships aren't built on exhaustion. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 06/03/26 06:00 PM |
| 3 | Good/Terrible news! People are doing their best!Doing loads doesn't mean more waking moments spent working is better than fewer. It could also mean doing more with less or achieving the same more efficiently. We focus on dads who are incompetent, but competent dads are aplenty and when two parents are competent, they can achieve a lot more despite working less. If someone came to my work and spent 8 hours doing a 100 google searches, they will technically do more hours of work than my old direct report (who could accomplish that in about 2 ho… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 06/03/26 05:53 PM |
| – | DISCUSSION🗨️ ABOUT MAIN PPD POSTS📮, LOOKS👀, AND N-COUNT🔢 ARE RESTRICTED🚫 FROM THE DAILY🌞 MEGATHREAD🧵I get your specific instance, but sometimes the shorter-tenured person might have more to offer. Only you can know the context of course and maybe this dude has nothing to offer you. I've been a mentor to some larger org's team members who have been here much longer than me but they've only ever seen their one specific niche and job. My last direct report is about to retire in 2 years and was in my team 3 years ahead of me. Within a year, I ended up as team lead because despite her being here lo… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 04/03/26 06:59 PM |
| 5 | About the chore gap, could gendered differences play into it? And what is the endgame, anyway?not enough is done but isn’t doing anything to help One of my pet peeves for sure. Not just at home but at work too. Those coworkers who complain about how nothing's done unless they do it themselves except they never do it either. And if you look too closely, these types rarely do more than the bare minimum, they just like to complain. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 04/03/26 06:48 PM |
| 3 | About the chore gap, could gendered differences play into it? And what is the endgame, anyway?During parental leave, we had my mother-in-law visit for about a month. I would say I'm the primary cook in our home, leaning about 70-30 on any given week. Cooking for just one extra adult (3 people now instead of just 2) is much harder. That's scaling production by 50%. More food consumed and fewer leftovers. Unless people want to eat the same thing for 2-3 days, this led to much more time spent in the kitchen. I'm actually pretty happy with how efficient our overall cooking activity is, but t… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 04/03/26 06:44 PM |
| 12 | Most men who are struggling with dating have not exhausted all optionsResponding to your title: It's a matter of degree I suppose. Some people haven't exhausted "all" options, but certainly all "reasonable" options relative to where they are in life. I don't think it makes sense at some point to grind if your rewards aren't worth the sheer amount of effort. Where that point is belongs to the single person to determine - accountability and personal responsibility and discernment and all that jazz. Responding to your body: the biggest change for me from awkward high… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 02/03/26 07:54 PM |
| 5 | Studies against Men Are Often Designed to Confirm a Narrative, Not Find TruthMotte-and-bailey in action. Granted, it’s not the same person conflating usually, so not technically a fallacy, but it’s an example of how positions evolve to survive critique but has to contort itself around the original phrasing. Using your example of defund the police, once it got enough pushback, people try to salvage it by arguing it doesn’t literally mean what was said (which they could have just used more precise language to begin with, but that wouldn’t have gone viral). Not all too diff… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 26/02/26 12:10 AM |
| 3 | Some men think that deconstruction of gender norms means that they should be attractive no matter what.Both men and women seem to have an issue with this new era of deconstruction of gender norms I think it's stuck in an in-between stage where some things are deconstructed but others are still ever-present. So we're caught in contradictions. Some of us are more comfortable when things are more chaotic, others want a consistent structure to build around (even if that structure isn't always ideal). A simplistic version is hero vs. villain. There's a clear role and even though hero is obviously more… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 24/02/26 03:41 PM |
| – | "Dating for men is so easy. You have to be normal" Is one of the most cringe and false statements of all timeBut when an autistic person does argue, they do seem to get particularly wrapped up in the minutiae more than the “social” element of the argument, so people “notice” more. I have my fair share of friends who are autistic, and one of the more common experience is that they get fixated on a point and will not let it go, long after the conversation has moved on. It almost seems like a hang nail that causes them pain and it has to be remedied before they can ritually proceed. It takes some grace an… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 17/02/26 06:38 PM |
| – | "Dating for men is so easy. You have to be normal" Is one of the most cringe and false statements of all timeHaving an opinion is one thing, but being a preacher about it is another. There's a line and often I find that people with strong opinions cross that line into preaching quite often. You can share your position and that's the part that's admirable (you stand for something or at least seemingly would). But unless the other person reciprocate interest and want more details, it quickly devolves into something highly unproductive if you keep pushing. I did this occasionally with my wife, and one tim… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 17/02/26 06:34 PM |
| 3 | What’s keeping the red pill alive?If you give me a thousand people, I will bet you anything there's only a handful of favorite ice cream flavors. Less than 10 flavors will probably cover half of them. Maybe 20-30 will cover 99%. There's someone out there who loves a really niche flavor that almost nobody else will be into. We can do this with color too. Despite literally being able to see millions and there being like 2-3 dozens widely agreed and distinctly named colors, half the world probably likes blue, green, and red. Wherev… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 16/02/26 05:00 PM |
| – | Dating older men (like 10 plus years older) is simply a bad deal for most women25-me certainly thought he was mature, clever, charming... but there are definitely levels to all this. God, if I have the same comfort/confidence I have now when I was 22, 25, or 27, what could have been...and I didn't have a bad time of my 20s as-was. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 16/02/26 04:20 PM |
| 10 | Motherhood is a bad deal (and it's reasonable to opt out)As someone who is child free by choice the idea that there is no status in being a mother is pretty silly. My colleague effectively works a 10-3 schedule and is paid 6-figures. She comes in late after dropping her kid off for daycare and leaves early to pick them up. She does acceptable work, enough anyways that she's probably not getting promoted anytime soon but not quite worth the effort to PIP and move on from either. I know for a fact that we would not let a single childless person get away… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 15/02/26 10:24 PM |
| 1 | The 'Mankeeping' narrative shows that women are openly hostile to discussing men's emotional labor loadI had a work twin like this once. We coordinated well without needing to explicitly say much. Almost eerily so. Like one person started a train of thought and the other basically knew exactly where it was headed. We called it twinception. The non-work related convos were where we got all our kicks. And since we were so coordinated, we usually got our tasks done ahead of schedule and had time to burn on the other end. For what it's worth, I'm 99.99% sure he's on the spectrum. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 11/02/26 05:39 PM |
| 6 | What do you actually want women to do?Not that this disagrees with your messaging. It does seem like people are much more transactional now when they do socialize. Probably because everyone can get their entertainment/dopamine fix on their phones and social media so mingling literally just to mingle doesn't happen like it used to. That makes it harder to break the stranger barrier. I understand why it feels like the apps are the only path to meeting new men/women, except it's also fairly ineffective for the vast majority. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 10/02/26 10:26 PM |
| 2 | Question for Women: If I can guarantee to you that all future hookup experiences will be like the typical male hookup experience, would you sleep around more?Like companies expecting skills without providing the training and experience. Those cost are offloaded to someone else’s budgets. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 06/02/26 07:29 PM |
| 3 | What do you think Blue Pill is?Case in your point, I’d say most of Asia (and Asians of dating age) implicitly operate in a somewhat explicit transactional dating model. Yes, there is also a romantic component, but it’s much less fairy-tale-esque than the west. It’s not considered shallow there to want men who are accomplished and expect that going into a relationship, it only crosses that line when the person wanting that can’t bring something comparable to the dynamic. And because it’s just sort of the default expectation, I… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 06/02/26 07:04 PM |
| 1 | What's the difference between the red pill and misogyny?This is sort of besides the point, but reading through this chain reminds me a lot of my college course on Psychology of Religion. When you try to study religion and specifically its psychological groundings, it becomes very...dare I say pill-ish. Explaining phenomenon like speaking in tongues in a non-religious but sort of clinical and third-person approach really irked some of the more religious people in my class. My experience of studying psychology in general is that people really get irked… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 05/02/26 06:01 PM |
| 1 | Why do women in the west complain about dating?It's like this from where I grew up too (Vietnam). The poor proportion lives on fairly low incomes and are much more grounded. The rich (sons/daughters of politicians, inheritors of wealth, etc.) way outspend what I could as an American on nightly extravagances even once you account for conversion rates. Basic necessities are cheap, sure, but they're not eating street pho and buying knock-offs clothes from the peddlers. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 05/02/26 05:30 PM |
| 1 | CMV: This new "date deposit" app is a great idea!In some way I guess that’s the point? Men who you would consider going on dinner dates with are probably half decent looking enough that they wouldn’t need these services to begin with. OP is thinking of the service as a way to eliminate low-effort. Men who would consider the service are asking for guarantees of their investment. Everyone is trying to solve for different things and those priorities don’t really overlap. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 04/02/26 09:50 PM |
| 0 | Men here present all men in a terrible light and then act surprised when women call them outI mean, who doesn't want to have options/an easier time lol. Like, you always choose to purposely bump up the difficulty, but having the option to choose the reverse is seldom ever true. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 04/02/26 04:51 PM |
| 4 | CMV: This new "date deposit" app is a great idea!Your honor, it's an interest-free loan that was never collected. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 04/02/26 04:45 PM |
| 1 | CMV: This new "date deposit" app is a great idea!Doesn't sound like it's guaranteed at all though. It's a one-sided investment from what the description in the OP indicates. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 04/02/26 04:43 PM |
| 8 | CMV: This new "date deposit" app is a great idea!It's money for time, just time! Anything that happens is just incidental. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 04/02/26 04:41 PM |
| 10 | CMV: This new "date deposit" app is a great idea!Sadly, I was like "sooo...what's the mutual security deposit on the other party?" Like, am I promised a baked sheet of cookies at least? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 04/02/26 04:38 PM |
| 9 | If men prefer women under 25, what women expected to do about it?Depending on where you are in the US, just having a healthy BMI past like 30-35 already puts you in the top half of the curve for body shape. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 03/02/26 07:21 PM |
| 6 | CMV: Rejection is hotTbf, I don't think the women of this sub (or even reddit as a whole) are representative of the general dating populace. Seems like the most frequent women commenters around here are all taken and mid-30s+, so of course they don't want to be approached. I don't wanna be down on the sub because I'm kinda addicted to it, but viewpoints here are not always going to sync up with what you see 'in real life.' Like, if you're in place like college surrounded by young single women, you can probably flip … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 30/01/26 10:20 PM |
| 2 | What do you wish women would understand about dating women?Too nice could also just be plain/unexciting/vanilla or boring. This is of course relative to the person. The woman I met prior to my wife was one of those whimsical, never on time, artsy, spontaneous energy types. We didn't last because I'm a corporate head working in a legal-adjacent field where structure and timelines are more rigorous. So relative to what her normal is, I'm 'too nice' - just kind of too straight and leading what she considered an unexciting life. Relative to me, she's incons… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 30/01/26 05:48 PM |
| 2 | Most men do not want “direct” unflattering communication from womenI think long comments with links are at risk of some auto-flag or something. I do ramble on sometimes, but I've been a lot more conscious of keeping things tighter. It's also unfortunate but the longer comments don't get eyeballs for good discussions either. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/01/26 04:38 PM |
| – | DISCUSSION🗨️ ABOUT MAIN PPD POSTS📮, LOOKS👀, AND N-COUNT🔢 ARE RESTRICTED🚫 FROM THE DAILY🌞 MEGATHREAD🧵I don't think there's an obvious line. Some people handle second-hand trauma better than others. Even couples and spouses sometimes need a break from their partner's internal roils. Keeping it all locked inside your chest is obviously not healthy, the risk of being vulnerable is that you can cross the line and can't easily take it back. I can't speak for others, but I tend to think that sharing is less traumatic when it's relatable to the other person more. So men should have fellow men who can … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 26/01/26 05:18 PM |
| – | DISCUSSION🗨️ ABOUT MAIN PPD POSTS📮, LOOKS👀, AND N-COUNT🔢 ARE RESTRICTED🚫 FROM THE DAILY🌞 MEGATHREAD🧵Just applying and not hearing back or getting rejected didn’t suck that much. I think this only applies if you're doing a handful of apps and don't have a huge stake in getting the job. By the time you hit like 100 and really need a job, not hearing back starts to really weigh on the person. Even a rejection is better than a non-answer, it sort of gives you closure. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 26/01/26 05:11 PM |
| – | DISCUSSION🗨️ ABOUT MAIN PPD POSTS📮, LOOKS👀, AND N-COUNT🔢 ARE RESTRICTED🚫 FROM THE DAILY🌞 MEGATHREAD🧵One example doesn't disprove something either. We're humans with complexity and oftentimes contradiction, not math proofs that are tightly derived and forced to be logically consistent by definition. There are patterns however. Patterns at a large scale useful for population description. Patterns at a medium scale useful for describing an individual's general tendencies. Then patterns at a small scale for how that individual acts in a specific context. And the pattern doesn't have to be strong t… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 26/01/26 05:05 PM |
| 2 | Most examples of good male role models still covertly represent traditionally masculine ideals of unachievable levels of wealth, status and success that harm men's mental healthI wonder on average are men less likely to have a woman as their role model than woman are having a male role model? For some people, feeling represented by their heroes or idol is valuable. But whenever a minority person breaks into a new field, competition, etc. it helps to inspire other people similar to them in saying 'you can be doing this too.' I think this can transcend gender if you share other features like race/ethnicity. For others, it matters a lot less. None of us look like Goku for… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 23/01/26 10:54 PM |
| 15 | Most of the problems would be solved that's discussed in PPD if women stopped bitching.So the men that struggle now, would keep struggling. And they for sure would keep on complaining. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 22/01/26 11:55 PM |
| – | DISCUSSION🗨️ ABOUT MAIN PPD POSTS📮, LOOKS👀, AND N-COUNT🔢 ARE RESTRICTED🚫 FROM THE DAILY🌞 MEGATHREAD🧵Lots of human medical treatment are surprisingly 'behind the times'. You can take almost any mental condition for example and it's still trial-and-error sometimes until you find a treatment that works. A med that works for one person and stabilizes them is completely ineffective for another. Dentistry is interesting in that we haven't found effective ways to replace lost teeth yet (at least not organically. We can always do some fake ones). To a smaller extent, the gum lines too, which is more m… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 21/01/26 06:56 PM |
| – | DISCUSSION🗨️ ABOUT MAIN PPD POSTS📮, LOOKS👀, AND N-COUNT🔢 ARE RESTRICTED🚫 FROM THE DAILY🌞 MEGATHREAD🧵The biggest change is we are making much much more intentional effort to cook and eat at home, which has led to some significant savings now that we've done the initial investment. Got a side freezer, bought a bunch of meat and things on sale, got these souper cubes containers to help freeze/portion out meal sizes. The portion size control will take a while to reflect in waist size changes, but adjusting to it has already made some positive impact. I no longer try to force a whole pound+ of stea… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 21/01/26 06:52 PM |
| 3 | What responses from men do you really long for, when expressing your beliefs, opinions and experiences both here on PPD and in the offline world?Luck. Isn't this a view that is often criticized by men? I do agree that it is technically true - so do you mind sharing how you see this particular viewpoint being important/useful for men facing dating-woes? Do you hope for a more compassionate, and self-forgiving tone within men, or something else entirely? I'm not OP, but luck can be any number of things. There's luck of birth. A notable number of people here are neurodivergent. It's very clear based on how they formulate their thoughts that… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 21/01/26 04:53 PM |
| 6 | Would you marry a woman who would not take your last name?One of my buddies took his wife's last name when they got married (US). He's always disliked his last name growing up since it's basically a made-up one when his great grandparents immigrated. It's like a dozen letters long too, so kind of complicated. His new initials is also more elegant. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 21/01/26 04:29 PM |
| 3 | Do you think the patriarchy was a more balanced system than what we have today?Heck, just use the 40-hour work week as an example (and less for some). Your average person today who has one of these 9-5 jobs, and if they're doing any non-labor role, is living a more leisurely life of labor than most of humanity throughout history. Most of our chores are also reduced substantially effort-wise. Anyone's who ever had to done some laundry by hand knows how terrible it is. Or even just compare the time difference of dishwashing by hand vs. just loading and unloading a dishwasher… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 21/01/26 04:22 PM |
| 2 | I've heard people say that men's lack of success on dating apps doesn't occur in real life. I don't believe thatYep, lopsided ratio for some apps are like 66/34 men and women. Even if every single woman found a match (which isn't already the case), roughly half the men will be left unmatched. If you as a guy aren't getting any nibbles early on, you're probably not going to get much from the apps at all. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 20/01/26 04:18 PM |
| – | Apparently women are going on dates with men who ask them no questions backTo add, you don't always find out until you get to the actual date (and usually it doesn't go past date 1). Some people have great text game but freeze up in real life. Or if you're meeting up for coffee, the extent of texting is "hey, would love to get coffee in person, how's x date/time?" and a few other small banters that doesn't really say a whole lot about a person. I've been both the one who froze and the one who's like 'wow that was a weird date.' | /r/PurplePillDebate | 14/01/26 05:54 PM |
| 2 | Are the women who offer Blue pill advice on here just outliers or are they modifying their message to suit their audience?There's also an age cohort effect too. People late teens/early 20s are more fit, young, energetic, and optimistic. Real life obligations hasn't really hit the forefront of their minds yet. Almost none of these rants (or venting if you want a less loaded term) are surprising to me these days if I picture who I was and wanted to date when I was 18-22. Heck, I went to grad school and even among the smarter/more educated/more..."polished" people there, many dated based on very superficial qualities … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 14/01/26 05:08 PM |
| 4 | Most dating advice from women here appears to come from an unacknowledged blind spot.It's probably culture, upbringing, SES, etc. I definitely heard more of it growing up in my circles, but parents were trying to get us to focus on academics and jobs (Asians lol). Somewhere in mid-20s it flips to "when are you having children?" Like, chill lol, up until a year ago you told me to focus on school and becoming a doctor! | /r/PurplePillDebate | 12/01/26 06:21 PM |
| 18 | Most dating advice from women here appears to come from an unacknowledged blind spot."it will happen when you stop looking" - are women here actually give that advice at all? i never saw it here, but i see you quoting it frequently. Admittedly it's bad advice for women too, especially now because people isolating themselves. I think it was certainly more common pre-pandemic. Nowadays it's more "decenter relationships and don't put so much pressure on yourself" - it's a bit more acknowledgement that things aren't as likely to happen organically anymore and people shouldn't burn t… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 12/01/26 05:43 PM |
| 4 | Project AVA Is A Sign That Things Are Getting Worse In DatingHeck in video games it's "just press on the flirt line enough times an then you can completely ignore them for the rest of the game". That's not fair. My stardew wife bakes for me and we take nice virtual naps together. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 12/01/26 05:38 PM |
| 3 | Men would have a much better time dating if they believed that they were actually the prize.But the important part is to actually make it. One thing I've seen in the post-social media (and now AI) age is that...many people give up incredibly quickly if they're not immediately good at something. Or instead of persisting to learn, if they don't have a quick pathway to an answer, they just throw up their hands or export their thinking skill to an external agent (be it an expert or increasingly AI). | /r/PurplePillDebate | 12/01/26 05:31 PM |
| 8 | ''Men age like fine wine'' is a real example of a comforting lie men tell themselves, kind of like how they claim the blue pill isIf we add the qualifier 'relative to their younger selves' I would say probably half or more will do better. I see a notable uptick in less successful guys hitting their dating stride in their 30s and eventually settling down. They're not players or surrounded by attention though, they just end up with someone roughly similar to them that they wouldn't be able to attract before, for whatever set of reasons. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 12/01/26 04:54 PM |
| 11 | ''Men age like fine wine'' is a real example of a comforting lie men tell themselves, kind of like how they claim the blue pill isIt's been said elsewhere around here, but people who figures this stuff out organically don't go online seeking pill communities to learn what they're doing wrong, vent, commiserate, etc. I see it over in the jobs subreddit too. People who interview well, have desirable attitudes about work, do steady (if unremarkable) work, pleasant to work alongside, etc. won't need nearly as much advice. People who complains a lot about how oppressive work is, have conditions that make holding down a job diff… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 12/01/26 04:44 PM |
| 2 | What's so bad about being friends with women anyway?The big hint is priority. Ever notice how the same person might text someone back in 5 mins but take like 4 hours or even a day to text someone else back? One instance isn't enough, heck 10 might not be, but over time you can see a pattern. And obviously, different people text differently, you don't look across people, you see how the same person reacts to different people. Far as action go, it's not always a specific action so much as interpretation. Attractive people typically get second chanc… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 09/01/26 06:03 PM |
| 7 | Getting/ finding "better/ new hobbies" is advice for rich men, deadbeats or older men with stable careers.My home town had a running club. Running is literally free as can be. I'd say about 1/4th of the time, people do a 'stop by the pub' after running. Not everyone goes, but there always seem to be 2-4 core people who became friends through familiarity. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 08/01/26 01:12 AM |
| 6 | What happens if you put a pick me girl and a simp in the same room?It'd probably be great for a while, until the insecurities and anxiety kicks in. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 08/01/26 01:09 AM |
| 4 | Men shouldn't take dating advice from women (on the internet)The most reliable source of advice anyways is probably people who resemble yourself as close as possible and has the success you're after. I personally cannot reliably take advice from rich dudes, or professional athletes, or musicians, artists, and BOH kitchen staff, etc. Likewise, pillers of any flavor whether it be podcast bros to bored PPD housewives are unlikely relatable to my present conditions. The best they can offer is generic advice, and like mass-produced clothing, it will fit to som… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 08/01/26 01:08 AM |
| 2 | Men of Reddit, do you think a man should have an opinion of how his wife is dressed?We didn't disagree, I'm expanding on your point with examples of other contexts where intention isn't sufficient, or where doing something that's technically okay doesn't mean everybody's going to interpret it that way. And some people of those everybody and their opinions on the matter...matters a lot. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 06/01/26 03:47 PM |
| 2 | Men of Reddit, do you think a man should have an opinion of how his wife is dressed?If that is true, you agree that a guy talking to women with the sole intent to feel young and attractive is perfectly fine, because he has no intention to cheat. I'll take it a step further, something can be and is probably "fine", but that doesn't make it aboveboard anyways. Like, I work in a legal field where there's laws around gifts and perks governing certain types of interactions. But those laws can have some rather generous leeway. You can thus do something that is technically "fine" but … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 06/01/26 03:25 PM |
| 5 | Why are men expected to "chase?"men just have this want/need to approach, it's a feature not a bug. Some men are more inclined to take risks than others. They have more flame-outs, but they also experience more successes too. I see this all the time as a gamer. Some dudes will literally not make a play unless it's 95% odds of success (and sometimes, 99%). They spin their wheels agonizing on how to proceed. Some guys see 60%, reason the odds favor them long-term and say "that'll do". The first group won't lose as often, but the… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 05/01/26 06:51 PM |
| – | The reason birthrates are falling is the raise of divorce ratesI forget, but isn't the drastic drop in teenage pregnancies one of the biggest factor in birth rate falling? We want that as a society...right? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 05/01/26 03:56 PM |
| 20 | When women say they “don’t like muscular men,” they are often lying, consciously or unconsciously.You say that like some men don’t call models mid. It’s just overexposure to very few body types in pop media as desirable. What’s fit in East Asia for example is very different. Men there are often portrayed as having leaner builds on TV and film (still fit and often sporting at least a 4-pack), whereas western media everybody has a shirtless scene looking like ‘roided out Thor if able (and contrast them with obviously inferior-shaped sidekicks and supporting characters). | /r/PurplePillDebate | 25/12/25 04:24 AM |
| 4 | If the U.S. only allowed women to immigrate, most of the usual left/right arguments basically disappear.It’s attraction at a physical level + a psychological expectation that’s exaggerated or stereotyped. It’s pretty easy to tell as an Asian person which it is. Being SE Asian myself, I saw growing up men who pursued Asian women because they pursued everyone, but with a slight preference for Asians. Then there’s men who pursued Asian women because they thought Asian women make the most submissive cutesie wives who aren’t tainted by western cultures. It’s not always said explicitly like so, but if y… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 22/11/25 07:19 PM |
| 1 | A lot of "dating problems" seem like "middle class" problems to me.If that were the case, which I’m inclined to believe you that it is, wouldn’t the rest of the results also be non-representative? It seems like this non-virgin sample is much more…free-spirited than the overall population average. So unless we were comparing virgins against that sub population, the comparison isn’t generalizable if we’re just speaking generic averages. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 09/11/25 12:27 AM |
| 1 | A lot of "dating problems" seem like "middle class" problems to me.Not specific to you, but I just wanna say that when we were at the hospital for our newborn, 80%+ staff we worked with day-in and day-out were women. Men are seriously absent from these spaces. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 09/11/25 12:12 AM |
| 1 | A lot of "dating problems" seem like "middle class" problems to me.Am I reading this right? ~1/4 non-virgins have been to jail? That seems awfully high, since by 30, 90%+ of the population have had sex. So we’re saying, if we’re being slightly conservative, one guy in every five has been in jail at least once (like maybe overnight for a DUI or something)? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 09/11/25 12:08 AM |
| 1 | “Women Writing Men” — and the Progressive Blind Spot No One Wants to AdmitWhere did I say it was bad? OP said whites are a minority. I said that’s not true. That’s a 100% factual statement based on population demographics. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 09/10/25 07:46 PM |
| -1 | “Women Writing Men” — and the Progressive Blind Spot No One Wants to AdmitRelative to the whole world perhaps. But depending on where you are in the US, it’s very much the predominant population. Where I grew up in the Midwest, it was like 80% white and Protestant and Asians like myself are in the single digit percentages. Los Angeles on the other hand where I have some family is flooded with Asians and you can go a whole day without speaking English if you wanted to. So I think it’s more contextual. Hollywood is certainly more diverse than ever, but it’s still pretty… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 09/10/25 05:51 PM |
| 13 | “Women Writing Men” — and the Progressive Blind Spot No One Wants to AdmitSo I think you're raising a point that I've been reflecting on recently. I think many TV shows/movie writers really struggle with how to sell a 'girl boss' or 'superheroine' convincingly, and their go-to approach is to make everyone else around buffoons for fall apart. But since the goal is to make a girl boss character, it would be antithetical to that objective to make the peer buffoons other women. Which leaves...men. It's sloppy writing, the same way that elevating a minority person by makin… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 09/10/25 04:45 PM |
| 44 | The avg guy should decenter women or work hard to not be avgI'll add to your anecdotes and say that, coming from a culture which pushes off serious dating while pursuing education/career (Southeast Asian), I've largely seen the same. There's been a shift in the younger gen, but there's a very sizable contingent who basically wrote off dating until like 25+ and some even way later than that. Many of them are extremely raw - not hopeless, but will need a strong support network to not self-own regularly. To some extent I think some guys (not all, not even m… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 30/09/25 05:17 AM |
| 1 | Why is the conversation about men defending themselves against abusive women so weird?I had an uncle who told his ex "if youre man enough to hit me, Im woman enough to knock you tf out" I see nothing wrong with that. Idk if it's just the pendulum swinging the other way from the 2010s peak of Me-Too'ism, but I sense a greater societal comfort with men expressing this sentiment lately. I have a really distinct memory of hanging out at the bar about a decade ago and a few drunk women were getting testy/combative with some guys at the fringes of our table. One of them looks like they… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/09/25 03:09 AM |
| 6 | "Women make it obvious if they're into you" they don't lolYoung people without a lot of self reflection or life experience tend to see things as a binary. Only thing I disagree with is the young part. Inexperienced perhaps, or on this sub where a notable percentage is neurodivergent and impacted socially. I think we do a poor job of training the young, those who are socially lubricated seem to understand these things quite well. I used to think those Victorian classes where they send people to manners school is kind of silly and funny, but honestly wit… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 26/09/25 03:07 PM |
| 6 | Men who gave up, why are you still here ?Most men are never completely given up, they just understand that their time is limited and that they can only put so much energy into women before it stops making any sense. But they still want it. With one exception ever, I know quite a few men over the years who have 'given up' but changed their tune once they got romantic attention. The only one who did remain 'given up' has admitted that he's probably ace and was never really into the idea of romance to begin with. He's only 38 though, so t… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 17/09/25 09:26 PM |
| 1 | Quick reference guide to debunking myths spread by the manosphereYep, it's pretty trivial to AI a couple photos of a non-real person these days. I'm honestly past the point where chadfishing is supposed to reveal anything we don't already know. Apps are heavily looks-based, not exclusively, but heavily. You can also say that perhaps it attracts people who are looks-focused vs. the general public who is somewhat less looks-focused, but either way it's a different environment of dating. I say this as someone who found his now-wife on Hinge, but who I 'match' wi… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 09/09/25 09:14 PM |
| 1 | Most women who say they are sapio sexual are not actually sapiosexual.I also do know a few not that bright women who love a really intelligent dude but couldn't carry or follow a cerebral conversation with one for love or money. I dated one of these earlier on in my life. She liked the idea of being with a smart guy, except they have to be 'smart' in a way that echoes her smarts...except she's kind. Validating her intellect was like a drug to her, and pushback was a fast way to go straight to not read. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 08/09/25 11:17 PM |
| 6 | Women bully each other into hypergamyMen turn everything into hypergamy. Marry a man taller, that’s hypergamy. Marry a man with a college education, hypergamy. It has no meaning Marrying a man at all? Believe it or not, also hypergamy. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 03/09/25 06:24 PM |
| 8 | There are tons of attractive men alone, very few attractive women are alone as well, and average men have no problem pairing with womenPeople on here have weird ideas of what's attractive sometimes. And it correlates highly with what the latest current generation of young people find attractive. The broccoli hair and ultra-sharp features (to the point where it becomes blocky) seems to be the 'in' right now. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 02/09/25 04:27 PM |
| 2 | Going dutch on dates is the best way to weed out women with a parasitic mentality.Food culture definitely plays a large role. In the US, dinner can feel very production-line at restaurants, you go in, get stuff quickly, eat, and leave, all in an hour or less, very occasionally going over (but only if additional drinks are involved, usually because of business or something being discussed). We were in France as part of our honeymoon and everyone there eats...really slowly. A meal is like 2 hours long. Intentional chewing, reading a book, maintaining a buzz throughout, etc. The… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 23/08/25 10:31 PM |
| 10 | CMV: Deadbeat dads shouldn't be allowed to pay child support up front in a lump sumshe's already had to go through $100k to maintain the lifestyle. I didn't realize we're entitled to a certain lifestyle. It's almost like lifestyle should change to accommodate changing conditions, like you know, the birth of a child. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 20/08/25 03:00 PM |
| 1 | Most dating expectations were created by the internetIsn't this actually the opposite of what the data shows? If you're unattractive, dating apps are literally worse than nothing, you just get dejected further and you have nothing to compensate with given how superficial apps are. Meanwhile, if you're attractive dating apps is like leaving a fishing pole with bait passively while you crack a beer and wait for the fish to come find you. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 19/08/25 05:06 PM |
| 5 | If you make the claim that you think being single is perfectly fine and shouldn't be a problem, you should be open to talk about your relationship history.I do talk about my relationship past pretty openly. But it's fair to say life circumstances differ and what's worked for me will not always work for someone else. Having a past can inform opinions, but someone reading the content should be able to use some critical thinking skills and understand if it applies to them or not. What's also pretty meaningless is someone half my age projecting their limited worldview and experiences to a large swath of humanity. A lot of the bright young bulbs here, … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 18/08/25 09:09 PM |
| 6 | Men and Women need to start settling for the average personPeople also don't drink/smoke as much, there's less lead in the air, sunscreen is applied more religiously, and in general people spend time outside more strategically, relative to prior generations. Each of these things compound over time. That in addition to the treatment you've discussed, and styling in general has made many of us Millennials appear younger than the same equivalent from the gen above us. There's some genetics involved too I'm sure, aka the whole 'black don't crack' and 'Asian… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 18/08/25 08:49 PM |
| 8 | The narrative that "women are happily choosing to be single" makes ZERO sense when you look at the actual dataI routinely find these conversations interesting. There's so much variance here between different people's lived experiences but we seem to always collapse it when making hot takes. I grew up in working class neighborhoods and had similar friends, finding women who were interested in casual wasn't that difficult (convincing them it should be you is of course another matter). 3/4ths of us either didn't go to college at all or took a few classes and bailed. Most work service jobs like restaurants … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 18/08/25 05:48 PM |
| 3 | Women cant complain when men dont care for themOh, I know all about the cost, we're having kids now lol. It's not just money, though I suppose we could argue everything can be indirectly computed into cost at the personal level. Even if the govt. subsidizes 100% of cost, I still don't think it's as desirable as it used to be. People are less willing to trade time for it these days, as they recognize the sacrifice it takes to be good parents. I have friends who are doctors and lawyers by virtue of my job and social circles, money for children… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 17/08/25 05:27 PM |
| 38 | Women cant complain when men dont care for themThey didn’t want to become teen parents. For what it's worth, one of the biggest drops in birth rate (such that we're now below replacement) is from the huge decrease in...teen parents. That's mostly a good thing, even if we need to address the other questions surrounding falling rate. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 17/08/25 04:49 PM |
| 5 | Introverted men are boring to most women (even introverted women)Others have been quite social, but just needed a lot of time to recharge after and those are introverts I get along with. My general life experience is that these people tend to be the most popular or at least consistently in the top half. You can leave them in social situations and trust that they won't just implode, but when you need a quiet weekend, they're ready in nesting mode. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 15/08/25 03:40 PM |
| – | Dating in your 20s is impossible if you want true loveI want to feel love deeply and receive it , and if the love that i want is not that deep/strong/intense from each side there is no point That's not love, that's infatuation. Long-term, it's not healthy. There's a reason why the verses about love in religious texts are "love is patient, love is kind"...etc. and not that love is feeling like a perpetual drug-high. Feelings change, they go through highs and lulls. Love is the commitment, the willingness to weather adversity together, to cherish all… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 13/08/25 04:08 PM |
| – | What are some secrets men dont tell women?There's plenty of research about this topic, in case you ever feel any sense of unease about it. The capacity for it is pretty universal, and in certain contexts, even lauded (e.g. self-defense is seldom if ever seen negatively, assuming it's legitimately needed). We're pre-wired for it, and culture dictates expression being legitimate or otherwise. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 13/08/25 03:34 PM |
| 2 | Ironically, progressive women are still obsessed with status in menIt's a trip for sure lol. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 13/08/25 03:13 PM |
| 6 | Many men’s dating problems come from expecting women to act like men.If I knew, we'd solved most of life's inequality. People have different starting points and challenges, I don't think there's a catch-all solution. That said, a more grounded and practical answer is to find the person who is most closely resembling you profile-wise, and who has the success you seek. Then see if you can extrapolate something about how they behave, think, their environment, etc. and if any of those apply to you. Apply what you can and see if that moves the needle. We're one of the… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 11/08/25 08:45 PM |
| 15 | Many men’s dating problems come from expecting women to act like men.Consider the alternative person, where dating came with some ease, but they failed to achieve or grasped most of the things you could do. Perhaps calculus or writing a legal masterpiece or mastering python in an afternoon are trivial tasks for someone like you. To them, what you've done is daunting and a massive time sink, and there's probably also no reward at the end if they did eventually figured out those things. What challenges us at an individual level will fluctuate, sometimes greatly. I … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 11/08/25 04:04 PM |
| 11 | Men want women to have LOW standards, not consistent standards.Defining a "good person" as someone who does what is convenient for other people is pretty sad Yep. This is like messaging that people should work for low pay or exposure. Gotta be in it for #1 as well. No, it doesn't have to be some perfect math of 1:1 'equal' or whatever your exact definition of fairness is. But good people are precisely the ones who deserve the rewards the most, even if they give the rest of us a kindness discount. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 04/08/25 04:56 PM |
| 18 | Stop being emotionally vulnerable to women, your close male friends are the only ones who can actually handle itMy now-wife had a learning moment when we first started dating. We were watching Ted Lasso and there was a sad scene where Jamie's dad showed everyone that he's kind of a bad dude overall towards Jamie and it became clear why Jamie might have grown to become who he is (and Jamie broke down in front of his teammates after the dad was gone). I got a little misty-eyed from it (hits a bit close to home I guess), and she was taken aback, almost with an incredulous "wait, are you crying?" look. I call… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 30/07/25 05:48 PM |
| 2 | Individualism is overpushed and it hurts the dating scene too.It's philosophical and poetic I like a good philosophy meditation (I did half my undergrad in it), but this one's pretty disjointed. Title suggests one thing, which the first half of the post sort of addresses, but the second half is about something else. And I don't think the two connect that well. And the final quote is ironically in favor of individualism: Batman is not Batman because he's a person wearing the suit and walking around calling himself Batman, he's Batman because he does things … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 29/07/25 09:38 PM |
| 18 | The new Tea app kinda proves hypergamyThere's definitely tiers and niches in the dating world, but I feel like this sub can be way too black-and-white for that sometimes. It's either chad or bust. Like, if you'd want to use the market metaphor, well, markets have players at different tiers to meet demand and they don't really overlap. Your mom-and-pop jewelry store is selling to different clienteles than Jared or Kay, who is not going to see the uber wealthy clients who shop at luxury places in central London or Paris. Each of these… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 29/07/25 06:29 PM |
| 21 | Should women be “giving guys a chance”?I heard it somewhat often back in my 20s when the friends I was surrounded by were single, though behind the statement is usually 1) they're frustrated in the moment and being hyperbolic, and 2) it's implied that they're not just looking for any ol' guy, it had to be a 'good' guy (which definitions vary), and those are perpetually in short supply. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 24/07/25 03:53 PM |
| 2 | DISCUSSION🗨️ ABOUT MAIN PPD POSTS📮, LOOKS👀, AND N-COUNT🔢 ARE RESTRICTED🚫 FROM THE DAILY🌞 MEGATHREAD🧵mmm I love a good broth. Kudos! | /r/PurplePillDebate | 22/07/25 02:20 AM |
| 18 | Are young men failing at dating because they aren't dedicating enough time and effort to it?Shocking amount of parallels tbh. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 16/07/25 05:48 PM |
| 2 | LOOKS WEEKLY DISCUSSION THREADThis is a personal observation, but at your size social fluidness is going to be a lot more meaningful. Height gets you noticed already, looks will help too but it's marginal unless you are truly unattractive facially/physically. I think people focus on looks/height/build/etc. as individual keys, when all of it really translate over to a holistic 'visual attention.' Once you have enough there to grab visual attention, how you carry yourself takes over. A socially stunted guy who's a 6'3" Adonis … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 16/07/25 05:38 PM |
| 1 | LOOKS WEEKLY DISCUSSION THREADThere seems to be slightly more leniency when acknowledging colorism instead of race, but yeah, it's kind of odd to casually acknowledge in real life that these dynamics are real but we sort of paper over them here/elsewhere on this site. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 16/07/25 05:28 PM |
| – | Are young men failing at dating because they aren't dedicating enough time and effort to it?~$250k to raise a child to adulthood is one figure I've seen. There are many reasons to want children, but financially speaking, it's an idiotic decision. Wife and I are staring down a $2k/month daycare bill soon here. That's $24k of take-home dollars annually for the next 5 years, among other costs. We are probably going to be scraping the barrel for a long while unless one of us hits our next career breakthroughs. And I fully recognize we're one of the more financially able couples out there. … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 16/07/25 05:21 PM |
| 1 | Doesn't practicing true self-love make any self-improvement impossible?I suppose if you want to get philosophical about it, is the best version of yourself a person you consider mostly insulated from experiences with others? While some I'm sure would prefer that, most of us in my experience like being part of a larger web of connections. We're individual units, but we're also the interconnections between those units. Using myself as an example, what's best for me specifically as an isolated unit is probably not as optimal for my family as a unit (wife + kid). Self-… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 16/07/25 05:15 AM |
| – | What percentage of women do you think have a decent understanding and sympathy for male dating struggles?It's expectations vs. reality. In the abstract, men learning to show their emotions and being encouraged to do so is a great thing. In practice, many women, particularly younger ones, do not know how to navigate those situations and create negative reinforcement for men that doing so leaves you worse off than before. It's an active cycle for everyone to consciously break. Having had close guy friends my entire life, I know men are quite capable of sharing/venting and providing support for each o… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 14/07/25 04:58 PM |
| 3 | What Defines Red Pill?So it’s not that blue pill is “better” so much as the lack of rigid assumptions The big distinction for my experience with the personalities of the pillers has been how flexible the person behind it is. RP seems to attract personalities who dislike blurry lines, more often black-and-white thinkers. BPers tend to think of everything as more unique and individualized, disliking that we're broadly speaking actually quite predictable. Not everyone is this way of course. RP also seems to have a camp … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 14/07/25 04:36 PM |
| 3 | Can’t believe this has to be said: yes, in order to date you need a social outletThat’s the same as the other two big apps (Tinder/Hinge). Unless both swipe right, no messages get sent. Only option to send message preemptively was to circumvent the match via premium payments which either gender could do. Bumble wasn’t really different here, unless you have some version of the app that is different than what the US has. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 13/07/25 10:03 PM |
| 3 | Can’t believe this has to be said: yes, in order to date you need a social outletIt wasn't better back in the early days though. Friends and I lived through its peak, my ex-roommate was a woman and she didn't have a superior experience with it. It's still a swipe left/right with pictures with a few bio prompts like Tinder/Hinge, only real difference is women sending first messages (which, at least when I was using it, the majority of the time it's a 'Hi' or a wave emoji to invite the guy to shoot his shot). | /r/PurplePillDebate | 13/07/25 09:49 PM |
| 4 | Can’t believe this has to be said: yes, in order to date you need a social outletI think the number of my matches who resembled their profiles were about what, 20%? People hardly even use recent pictures of themselves, I got catfished a few times, and in one instance someone said they were 28 but was actually 34. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 13/07/25 07:08 PM |
| 7 | Can’t believe this has to be said: yes, in order to date you need a social outletBumble was a woman-centric app started by a woman CEO, so I don't think it matters. Apps inevitably become a looks-based platform no matter which one has existed. Even in the early days of eHarmony where people can answer hundreds of survey questions that help you match the best personality profiles, the match rate wasn't all that great. It helps at the fringes, it doesn't really connect the rest of us. The 'vibe' or 'energy' or 'chemistry' women feel is usually from seeing a man in motion so sh… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 13/07/25 07:06 PM |
| 1 | The nice guy does deserve to finish lastI’m also your age, and I will say at this age, you’re sort of restricted by diminishing number of prospects out of sheer momentum. Most people who want to be in a relationship, and are suitable for a stable long-term relationship, will be taken. With regards to friends, how are you going about meeting new prospects? What do you do when you connect? How do you demonstrate that you are a catch (from your on-paper description, it sounds like you are. So is the issue lack of “marketing”?) | /r/PurplePillDebate | 10/07/25 06:09 PM |
| 1 | The nice guy does deserve to finish lastHow old are you, and who are your peers? Not being condescending or dismissive btw, but I think contextual clues are very helpful when what you're told doesn't jive with your perceived reality. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 10/07/25 05:34 PM |
| 5 | The average dude is creep profiled even before he approaches or expresses interest in a womanConsolidation. At least here in Chicago, we’ve seen close to 100 bars permanently close post-Covid. So the customer base are consolidating towards the ones that are still open, increasing their foot traffic. But the overall number of people that go out has dropped off (which we also see in restaurants with the explosion in food delivery). It sort of creates tiers: those who go will see full crowds, and all those who don’t are essentially invisible to the new normal. I certainly have tapered off,… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 10/07/25 04:44 PM |
| 24 | The average dude is creep profiled even before he approaches or expresses interest in a womanPerhaps that's part of the shift - people aren't going out as much, and when they do they don't consume as much alcohol or other things that encourages mingling. Fewer mingles, more guard up. Desirable people will still approach and mingle anyways, but it's a worse experience all-around for the average Joes/Janes. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 09/07/25 03:46 PM |
| 4 | “Most women are demisexual” is a horribly misinformed statement and shows a lack of understanding of what demisexuality isAcross the world in raw number form, yes. Across an average person's lived experiences, it's pretty rare. You might get concentration in certain pockets/cliques of people (like-minded tend to attract like-minded), but the opposite end is also true, where there's almost nobody with that trait in the general group at all. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 06/07/25 04:52 PM |
| 3 | LOOKS WEEKLY DISCUSSION THREADIt goes for just about every trait in my lived experience. You want to be clearly above the average, but not so far above that you become Othered. Too tall? 6'1"-6'2" seems ideal, at least in the US Midwest. Beyond that, you aren't just tall, you become a giant (especially if your vibe doesn't fit your height. Think lanky tall dude or perpetually hunched over). Finding stuff that fits becomes increasingly more difficult. And your life expectancy is also shorter too. Too pretty? Yes, it's almost … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 16/06/25 04:44 PM |
| 2 | Is being apolitical a good or a bad thing when it comes to dating and relationships?Yeah, my wife might not be as into current news as I am, but being that we're both minorities of different ethnicities, we can't exactly ignore what's happening across the country (and heck, locally. Really big protest yesterday downtown). There are things I'm actively political about, but sometimes politics find you. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 11/06/25 03:08 PM |
| – | One good thing about dating in 2025 is that the red pill idea of faking it until you make it simply doesn’t work anymore. Women want authentically attractive men.maybe at some sweet spot the red pill did help some dudes, in some way gave them confidence or something. but in the grand scheme of things it did more harm than good and the good it did was little. Personal take, I've found that the people it helps were never too far from success to begin with. Maybe they had a few very notable issue with how they carried themselves and that, for lack of better terms, the 'shallowness' of the RP message helped them tweaked those things and success followed. Lik… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 09/06/25 03:49 PM |
| 3 | N COUNTS WEEKLY DISCUSSION THREADLiterally is I’m not mad because you are doing it I’m mad because I’m not one of the ones your doing with. Not strictly related to this, but I find this rings true in economics as well. Perhaps it's just anything in life that's beneficial and desirable in general. Inequality itself isn't as much an issue. We seem to tolerate inequality - it's only when it becomes exclusionary that it raises more ire. Like say housing. When darn near everyone growing up in the US can expect to be a homeowner at s… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 09/06/25 03:29 PM |
| 5 | Why Are Women so Defensive When Men Complain About Dating Apps60-40 is also much more skewed than it appears. If every single woman is paired up, 40-40, a full 1/3rd of the app men are left out by default (20 of the 60). At 66-33, it's 1/2 of the app men not connecting. And this is assuming 100% match, which is already far from accurate. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 09/06/25 03:16 PM |
| 2 | You Can’t "Prove" the Red Pill And That’s Not a FlawThere's also a step some take where successful men are said to be using RP unintentionally and/or subconsciously. So basically, success = proving RP points. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 09/06/25 02:57 PM |
| 6 | Society did not “lie” to you about what was and wasn’t attractive to women. You are not a “victim”.I held out hope the religious people at my church were better than average for a bit longer than most. Turns out a lot of them were just able to cosplay for Sunday until the parking lot after mass. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 06/06/25 02:34 PM |
| – | I think men act and feel more entitled to romantic success than they realiseAdmittedly, I'm not super well-versed in old movies/TV shows, but to your point, the predominant genre where I see the homely leading everyman + attractive wife is comedy. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 05/06/25 07:45 PM |
| 3 | 30s are perhaps the worst years to date (as a man)Average age of marriage is close to 30 now, for both genders, at least in the US. But it's definitely location-dependent, we grew up in a fairly conservative religious town, and my brother got married around 22. I relocated to the city in my 20s and got married at 35. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 04/06/25 05:24 PM |
| 2 | Q4M: how do you signal to women that you want to be approached?Yeah, any signal I send out is more or less going to be reciprocated if she was also interested, and the baton is passed back to me anyways. I will say on the rare off-chance I do get approached (which has happened like twice ever), I smiled and locked eyes with them once for a second or so, minded my own business, and eventually they wound up on my side of the room and we started chatting. One time though I thought I was getting approached actively, but really it was just a friend of a friend i… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 03/06/25 02:55 PM |
| 1 | Why Don’t Straight Women Acknowledge That Dating Is Easier for Them?what it currently is, not what should be… And while it stinks, accepting things as they are (awareness) is the first step towards...anything. I sympathize with the guys who don't want to play the game that they feel are rigged. I personally preferred instead to find a niche and maxed it. Worked out alright, though I'm sure I had quite a few lucky breaks too. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 01/06/25 09:47 AM |
| 12 | One of the biggest problems in dating is men *think* they want easy sex.Many college undergrads severely overestimate how much money a median graduate makes right out of the gate. To be fair, I was like that too. It does get much better once you're 3-5 years in if you job-hop once or twice, but those first few years very few students break into the big kids club. I think I saw a statistic that it was like $50k median for new grads or something like that, so ~$25/hr. My local Starbucks/McDonalds is now offering $16-18/hr starting. Yes, location matters, West Virginia… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 29/05/25 05:53 PM |
| 9 | Red pillers: What would make you change your mind?Clearly they’re all roaming in a harem clique surrounding their chad, vigorously vetting potential single lady strays for inclusion into the harem. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 23/05/25 05:29 PM |
| 2 | Do you think underlying Peter Pan syndrome is heavily influencing the relationships in America?I can sympathize with that. I also spent almost my entire 20s being unemployed or underemployed also. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 21/05/25 07:30 PM |
| 2 | Do you think underlying Peter Pan syndrome is heavily influencing the relationships in America?I'm not even sure if being a kid's fun anymore. Lots of little balls of anxiety running about these days. Personally, my 20s were the most fun. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 21/05/25 05:26 PM |
| 9 | What are the effects of women increasingly attending college more than men and them being on the path to start earning more in the future?Don't worry, this is where the counterarguments start showing up, re: "oh the divorce rate is lower because they can't leave!" I'll also chime in being an immigrant myself, a lukewarm conservative guy in the US for example is still more progressive than a local guy back where I was born. My mom remarried and while I don't politically align with my stepdad, he's still treated her better over the years than my bio-dad used to. And she's certainly not under his control, it's so completely the oppos… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 21/05/25 03:51 PM |
| 2 | The biggest issue in gender is simply that men die faster single.It works for a small cadre of men, and I’m all for it, but we’re probably not going to catch most men, certainly not the guys floating around here. They’re looking to fill the companionship void, not human interaction void. Some might need both, but not everyone. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 20/05/25 06:27 PM |
| 1 | Feminism's claims are inherently unfalsifiableTribalism is separate from spiritualism I would say, though it is another extremely dominant feature of our species. It's just very easy to feel tribal about strong ideologies. But we see examples of spiritual practices all over the world where faiths intermix and/or coexist rather than draw sharp lines. Some ideologies however are much more resistant to coexistence, especially if they take a limited resource paradigm (i.e. someone must lose for someone else to win). This seems latent in almost … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 14/05/25 06:01 PM |
| 3 | Feminism's claims are inherently unfalsifiableWithout even getting into gender-related beliefs, you have other forms of secular ideologies as well. The fervent beliefs people have over some libertarian ideas or communal ones for instance. Or the 'sacredness' of things that are 'natural' vs. man-made. There's a 'spiritualism' to these things, but they're not inherently religious. Depending on your perspective, you can even say that religion 'evolved' on top of the human psyche's tendency to feel 'spiritual' about beliefs that becomes tenets … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 14/05/25 04:06 PM |
| 4 | Feminism's claims are inherently unfalsifiableMmmmmm, it's a meta too. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 14/05/25 04:01 PM |
| 14 | Leagues within dating are only for menI have doctors in extended family and on my wife's side of the extended family. All are married to other healthcare people and/or someone they met in undergrad (couple of programmers and finance guys). None of these pairings, men and women doctors alike, would be considered a financial mismatch to their partners at a quick glance. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 08/05/25 02:32 PM |
| 15 | If you somehow managed to convince women to universally lower their standards you’d just have much more competition and the relationship would be awfulOr disappear, do a training montage, come back in a few months to a year a changed person, and try again. Worked for me once or twice. That said, your advice is sound and would have saved younger me a ton of time. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 08/05/25 02:24 PM |
| 5 | CMV: Lesbian relationships have high DV rates because we've been conditioned to victimize womenMy life experience has been that gay men play the field a lot longer before finding 'the one', but once they do they seem to stay together almost indefinitely. Gay women seem to get into relationships much more quickly, sometimes even get married, but things fall apart more frequently (and sometimes quite dramatically). Of course, this is anecdotal, and all the couples/former couples are in our 30s and early 40s, the dynamic might be different for the 20s crowd. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 05/05/25 05:00 PM |
| 10 | Is there a shortage of relationship material men as compared to women?Personal take: A man saying “women are trash” in-person is viewed/treated as that man having no game and just being sexist. In other words, it’s more about him overall as a person and a persistent part of his personhood. A woman saying “men are trash” is usually viewed/treated as her being temporarily frustrated with her dating lot in life. It’s more about the situation she’s in and the guys she’s come across, and not so much her as a person. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 05/05/25 04:49 AM |
| 3 | If "an increasing percentage of women are going for a shrinking percentage of men" is not true, the standard redpill model is not trueHe’s a data analyst for a factory that produces some B2B goods. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 02/05/25 02:47 AM |
| 8 | If "an increasing percentage of women are going for a shrinking percentage of men" is not true, the standard redpill model is not trueAs long as they’re content, I’m happy for them. One of my best friends from grade school is like this, he’s 36 and never had a relationship. I suspect also still a virgin. He doesn’t seem to mind. Has his own home split with his dad, works a steady job and has $100k in the bank with no school debt, only a mortgage and bills basically. We’ve discussed relationships and he’s of the mindset that he’d be cool with one, but he’s a super nerd and there’s not really many uber nerd chasers in his neck o… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 01/05/25 10:09 PM |
| 11 | Women's standards are perfectly reasonable, their "type" however eliminates most guys before they even have a chanceLittle bit of A, little bit of B. I personally think it's true most men aren't attractive. They're not unattractive, just unremarkable. Unflattering photos don't help, but a perfectly average bloke with fantastic photos aren't going to swimming in dates overnight. It's also that men are over-represented on apps, usually about 2:1 the ratio of women. Even in the best case scenario where every woman paired off with a guy from the apps (hardly the case), half the apps men are still going to not fin… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 30/04/25 08:28 PM |
| 26 | Women's standards are perfectly reasonable, their "type" however eliminates most guys before they even have a chanceFunny, I was chatting with my wife about this. Most women have one or two specific angles they always take pictures at. From years of practice, they know those are the most flattering (and heck, some of them look better in those stills + lighting + makeup specific for that angle than in real life). Meanwhile, dudes will literally be taking a picture dead-staring into a mirror with one light bulb in the bathroom burnt out, or an off-angle shadowed face with sunglasses on. I'm not saying that this… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 30/04/25 08:03 PM |
| 2 | How common are gangbangs actually?Cost, legal gray area, business model are the big ones. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 29/04/25 10:09 PM |
| 4 | Men must radically change to counter the current epidemic of women having inflated egosMidwest city-folk here, not an issue for most of us either. That said, I wonder if this is also a social-skill thing. Men who have a stable friend group like mine are like this already, but men who are struggling with building social connections are perhaps wary of such behaviors from other men. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 29/04/25 10:00 PM |
| 1 | Dating got easier not harder as people are making it out to be.Definitely don't be idle if you can avoid it. Some of your current competition are currently people with multiple years of experience (assuming tech, I don't actually know your background). And while this is not strictly job-related (but more than people think), social skills and being physically presentable are pretty darn important. A major trap I've found in a lot of candidates is that they're technically talented but severely lack sociability, both in existing skills and desire to improve. T… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 28/04/25 07:33 PM |
| 1 | Dating got easier not harder as people are making it out to be.Totes, I didn't frame it gender-specifically in mind. Or even if you want to keep it gender-specific, men who are the 'preferred job candidate' get a bunch of recruiter 'hey' emails too. The headhunted candidates can walk into a job almost at will, the experience is not quite like the typical job seeker. We can even extend this a tad further - a candidate who's a senior dev for Google is probably 'out of our league' skill-wise and salary-wise. I'm better off interviewing people who are actually … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 28/04/25 07:22 PM |
| 2 | Dating got easier not harder as people are making it out to be.Best wishes for you, it's tough out there. I work in legal, not strict tech, but we've had some crazy good resumes roll in since '23-ish with all the tech layoffs even though we're far from Silicon Valley (midwest). Candidates some of whom I assume would be taking sizable pay cuts to relocate here (though most of them want remote). It breaks my heart reading so many resumes. Even if I do my darndest, at the end of the day, I'm filling one seat with a narrowed down list of 5-10 candidates out of … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 28/04/25 06:25 PM |
| 3 | Dating got easier not harder as people are making it out to be.Absolutely. That said, I can easily tell ya which side of the employer/employee fence I'd rather be on 10/10 times. The worst time to find a job is when you need one. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 28/04/25 06:20 PM |
| 1 | Dating got easier not harder as people are making it out to be.if we can time travel and let’s say take people today like Gen z and younger millennials, do you think they would do better with dating in the 80’s & 90’s ? Honestly, probably not, at least not at first. People today are far less socially sharp because all of our heads are buried in phones now, many get 'anxiety' about making a phone call or showing up to things (you know, what people in the old days do because none of us had phones, so you show up or people stop inviting you). Those who would d… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 28/04/25 05:48 PM |
| 6 | Dating got easier not harder as people are making it out to be.It's eerily similar to applying for work. The highly desirable candidates are chased and headhunted by all the orgs. Everyone else sends in hundreds of apps before breaking in. The algos and search-term optimization, as well as saturation in certain fields, have made the job search experience an absolute pain. I did 300ish apps before landing the contract job that eventually led to the career I have now. ~300 is apparently on the low end these days, my direct report's son has done 900ish and he'… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 28/04/25 05:38 PM |
| 2 | N COUNTS WEEKLY DISCUSSION THREADYeah, I want to buy a single-family house, but I'll still rent in the meantime or buy a condo if I haven't found the "perfect" home for me. It's not inconsistent, one can have a long-term goal but still cater to short-term priorities as well. The two don't always align, and people switch between short vs. long-term as needed. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 28/04/25 03:58 PM |
| 1 | What is wrong with modern menmore young people are overweight. Which is a tragedy because it's probably the one time in their life where it's easy-ish to maintain physical form. If anyone thinks getting in shape in the late-teens to 20s is tough, it gets even harder in the 30s and beyond. If someone is below 25, I sincerely wish they get to experience what their peak shape could be like (doesn't mean a 6-pack 'roided out look, more like a well-toned swimmer kind of body). | /r/PurplePillDebate | 24/04/25 05:03 PM |
| 1 | LOOKS WEEKLY DISCUSSION THREADI don't know you of course, but I think for a lot of people, they aren't as unattractive as they think they are. Those guys you don't bother with because they're out of your league, there's a good chance some subset of them would not feel that way. Depending on your age too, sometimes people mature and realize it's not all about looks and the other positive lifestyle qualities and values really matter. That's not to say looks doesn't matter, I'm sure you realize that it does, but many men mature… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 23/04/25 05:34 PM |
| 2 | LOOKS WEEKLY DISCUSSION THREADThe occasional lapse won't hurt your progress. It's probably mentally healthy if anything to occasionally give yourself an indulgence. For some people who chronically struggle with food, one indulgence is usually a floodgate that triggers them to go on binges. I've found that it's a matter of discipline and personality proneness to addiction. Like, I'm surrounded by candies that I love to eat, but I just don't instinctively crave it unless I'm super stressed. So I guess it's about knowing yourse… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 23/04/25 05:21 PM |
| 2 | Admitting something I have noticed as a woman myself: Many women take it really personally and get annoyed if an attractive man ends up dating someone below his "league" looks wise. Is it the same for men?It's all fun and games until you see what kind of damage a hot + crazy combo can do. Most men I know get past this, but alas some are willing to risk it all for a shot at hot. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 21/04/25 03:13 PM |
| 15 | Admitting something I have noticed as a woman myself: Many women take it really personally and get annoyed if an attractive man ends up dating someone below his "league" looks wise. Is it the same for men?My personal take is that men do not consider men's physical attractiveness much as a quality to weigh, so it doesn't elicit envy (usually). So like if a homely guy ends up with a 10, we can guess it's due to his wealth, his charm, his whatever. We know those other qualities matter, even if looks matter a lot too. Women know that their physical attractiveness matters much much more, and even if they disagree with how it is, women aren't blind to this reality. This can create an opportunity to fee… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 21/04/25 03:04 PM |
| 9 | Fit women, what body type are you most attracted to in a man?I think the best way I've seen it described is that men like makeup that looks 'natural' and women like muscles that look 'natural.' You can be fit, but it has to look like you could get it on a normal day of work (which isn't actually true, just like how natural makeup is also not natural). A few people like the exaggerated proportions, but most of us like something that seems above average but 'believable.' | /r/PurplePillDebate | 18/04/25 06:00 PM |
| 6 | Fit women, what body type are you most attracted to in a man?Was a former twink in my 20s, can confirm. One of my undergrad friends would tell you that past a certain point of musculature (and it's quite modest), the only ones ooh-ing and ahh-ing him were other men. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 18/04/25 05:46 PM |
| 2 | N COUNTS WEEKLY DISCUSSION THREADBest of luck! I do think every person has to negotiate how much their faith matters and the degree to which it manifests in their communal life. Personal experience of mine is that most religious people I knew growing up were in it for the community, the beliefs are nominally there but doesn't really guide most people's moral decisions. This is why you have the Catholic church with its stance on things like abortion/gay marriage, but its believers in completely opposite beliefs. Depending on wha… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 17/04/25 06:49 PM |
| 3 | N COUNTS WEEKLY DISCUSSION THREADThat's specific to the denomination/sect. In Catholicism (what I grew up in), annulment is a religious dissolving of your prior marriage sacrament. You can get divorced in 'real life' but from the eyes of the Church you are not actually divorced until the annulment has been granted. That said, these days it's basically a formality, very few instances of annulments are not granted. You also need an annulment in cases where one spouse passed away and the widower wishes to remarry too, so it's not … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 17/04/25 05:59 PM |
| 2 | N COUNTS WEEKLY DISCUSSION THREADOf all reasons to convert, that's probably one of the more out-there ones I've seen yet lol. Are you against dating certain subsets of divorced men (ex: those with children), or just wanting to date someone who's never been married in general (by choice or otherwise)? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 17/04/25 05:45 PM |
| 1 | Men not going to collegeI think these preferences are more formed by the kinds of people we have in our social networks and also our personalities. I find that many members of this sub doesn't appreciate or care that much about the social circles. The one I'm immediately in as part of my post-grad adult life, almost every single person has a bachelors, and the majority has more (this includes our partners). My circle of child/teen friends back home when I visit, the opposite is true where almost nobody has any formal e… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 16/04/25 04:03 AM |
| 14 | Non-westerners and non-assimilated foreigners are ruining western dating discourse and western dating.Not OP, but some factors: Economics: immigrants tend to be less well-off than natives. Obviously you get some highly-educated people who arrive through H1Bs and whatnot but usually it’s economic migrants who tend to show up with only a modest amount of resources. Dating and relationships aren’t all about money, but there’s a minimum floor and it’s harder when you spend a lot of time just catching up and establishing roots. This applies more so for new immigrants, but can compound too. Generation… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 10/04/25 08:44 PM |
| 1 | Non-westerners and non-assimilated foreigners are ruining western dating discourse and western dating.Seems to be dependent on the mod and the message. If I keep it super vague or completely anecdotal to myself only (a first-gen Asian immigrant who grew up in the US), it’s usually okay. Making any broad statement though gets the hammer pretty quickly (even if those broad statements are more true than false even without too many qualifiers needed). | /r/PurplePillDebate | 10/04/25 08:20 PM |
| 4 | Can money or a great personality make up for no physical attraction ?Not really, no. You don’t know how good someone is until you experience it. Plenty of good-looking dudes are terrible in bed, they literally sell themselves on their looks and not much else. There’s a lot more to good sex than how physically attractive someone looks. This is why a woman who starfishes is also a meh time for most men, even if she’s really hot. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 09/04/25 05:57 PM |
| 3 | Can money or a great personality make up for no physical attraction ?Not OP, but when I used to work grocery, I knew one dude who was super plain looking and got with a total baddie for a couple years because rumors started somehow he had really good bed game. He pulled her one night when we all went out after work and then they just sorta kept at it until they dated for like 2 years. Amusingly, she often complained about him being lazy and just playing video games all day at work, and yet she would pop by after work with dinner in hand to...watch Netflix. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 09/04/25 03:56 PM |
| 3 | Men should stop lying about having low standardsEven with apps, most people still meet someone within like 10 miles of where they live too, there's a few people meeting across state/country borders sure but the bulk live fairly close by. Heck, my wife and I were 2 miles apart, we just ran in completely different social circles that didn't overlap. Most dating pools are quite shallow without active effort to expand them, and I say that as a fairly social person. Ironically, I meet the most new people through work, but that's a pretty dicey poo… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 08/04/25 03:27 PM |
| 3 | Men should stop lying about having low standardsA-tier work, well done. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 08/04/25 03:23 PM |
| 2 | Is it fair to criticize men for consuming porn when most women don't want them?Reminds me of a sad story I read somewhere on reddit a while back. A man whose wife cheated on him got pregnant and everyone all but assumed it was an affair baby. They decided to stay together and the guy raised the kid as his own, although the kid found out early on he wasn't the bio dad. After his dad passed away, he did a DNA test to see if he can locate bio-dad family, only to discover that his dad was actually his bio-dad all along. Poor dad never got to know, though I suppose it wouldn't … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 08/04/25 04:47 AM |
| 5 | Is it fair to criticize men for consuming porn when most women don't want them?I was told one of the NIH studies I’ve referenced was invalid because it used a survey with female respondents… I.e. all research that agrees with me is valid, and all research that disagrees with me is invalid. I was in a PhD program for psych research lol. You just sort of have to find a way to make peace with it 'round these parts. I think, and like most researchers before me have found, engaging with sympathy and anecdotes are 2-3x more effective than research. People love their narratives, … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 08/04/25 04:43 AM |
| 2 | There's a narrative out there that someone who has never been in a relationship is undateable because they "don't know how to be in a relationship". What are some examples of this?Some job seekers have that experience too though. You get a degree, certs, volunteer, etc., and seemingly get no offers or even callbacks. It’s a mystery sometimes as to why because on paper, you are seemingly qualified. It’s no different in my eyes than doing all the things to demonstrate someone could be a quality partner and yet nobody seems to be giving that person a chance. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 08/04/25 02:07 AM |
| 7 | There's a narrative out there that someone who has never been in a relationship is undateable because they "don't know how to be in a relationship". What are some examples of this?Why do those folks get to date if they are imperfect but folks like me can’t? Need experience to get a job, can't get a job without experience. Sucks but I find that truism applies in dating as well: most people prefer a devil they know over a blank slate. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 07/04/25 09:07 PM |
| 3 | I feel like the Gender War and the modern “pills” movements are manufactured.Meanwhile, those in control refuse to discuss it so they don’t give up one of their cash cows in politics I don't think it's that straightforward. You see real votes lost by some candidates like Harris for refusing to discuss certain topics in the Culture WarTM , and vice versa a notable rightward shift among young men of most ethnicities towards the Republican party in the last election. At best, it's both manufactured but also organic. Once a conversation goes off, the 'powers that be' don't r… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 07/04/25 09:01 PM |
| 9 | What’s going on with the ‘older men mainly want younger women to manipulate them’ claim?You are probably claiming that it is more of an unintended consequence than a main goal. I'm not OP, but I chalk this up to most things in life. People aren't out to get you (i.e. it's not malice/personal), they're in it for their own best outcomes (self-interest). Sometimes, that results in a dynamic that's clearly unhealthy. Is it worth prioritizing or morality-policing over? Is it worth a general proclamation vs. to be discussed in specific instances? Idk. I don't consider it high enough on m… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 07/04/25 08:18 PM |
| 6 | Going away optimisticallyhow frequent are good and bad relationships? Lame answer is 'it depends.' I don't think there's one definitive way to tell if a relationship is 'good' or 'bad.' We aren't static so the standard for good/bad changes as we live life, and we also don't all start from the starting point, so what's 'bad' for someone because it's boring and non-dramatic is a godsend for someone else who thinks the daily wordle is the height of excitement. Therefore, what might be once a good relationship can go stale,… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 03/04/25 08:19 AM |
| 16 | Going away optimisticallyI'll only contradict for debating sake that for some unfortunate people, going away doesn't make them happier, it just makes them hurt less, and I think that distinction matters. Otherwise, people should definitely pursue non-relationship goals if a good relationship isn't seemingly in the cards. A good relationship beats being single, but being single is much, much, much better than being in a bad relationship. But that said, even in the best of relationships, there are always trade-offs vs. be… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 03/04/25 07:46 AM |
| 2 | Most girls don’t prefer significantly older menAnother case I would say is people who have really young, baby faces finally aging into a 'normal' range. From like 14 to 24, this was me, probably late 20s I would say was my peak rather than an out-of-place high-schooler at the bar. I no longer get carded these days, but I'd guess that I look about 5-7 years younger. It's an interesting spot actually for corporate ladder-climbing. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 03/04/25 06:44 AM |
| 11 | Whats the true minimum?That’s not super uncommon depending on denomination, at least in a big city. Religion gets lumped into conservatism a lot but it need not be. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 02/04/25 08:52 PM |
| 7 | The advocating of age gap relationshipsI think past like 25, nobody really cares unless it's obscenely obvious. It's much more an internet fixation than a 'real life' one. One of my guy friends is in an LTR with a woman 10ish years older than the rest of us. Nobody batted an eye, we're just like 'oh yep, he's always liked older women, makes sense.' | /r/PurplePillDebate | 02/04/25 06:00 PM |
| 6 | Q4M: Why don't you rely on other people's opinions more when dating?Ick review bombing, sounds so fun. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 02/04/25 03:31 PM |
| -2 | Why don't more men advocate for better male contraceptive options?Well, for one men can't get pregnant, so that point is moot. And some, like my wife, used contraceptives to regulate their moods, so it has additional utility in some cases beyond just contraceptives. Clearly, the FDA and medical experts do not think the proportional risk is the same for male contraceptives that were under clinical trial. I'd trust their expert judgments over internet strangers trying to score jab points. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 01/04/25 09:36 PM |
| 2 | As a man, "decentering" women is one of the best things you can do for yourselfI'm just wondering why the same thread has been made every day for the past few days. Probably a Tik Tok video or some well-known person kicked off a conversation would be my guess. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 01/04/25 09:27 PM |
| 2 | Why don't more men advocate for better male contraceptive options?I remembered seeing a comment chain a while back making fun of men for complaining about side-effects of some hormone contraceptive under trial...until you look into it and one of the side-effects is that some men started having suicidal ideations. That's probably worth pulling the plug on. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 01/04/25 09:10 PM |
| 11 | Men who have hook-ups, how often are you 100% upfront with the women?Detox is actually pretty much the right word: infatuation plays on the same neural pathways in our brains as a drug high would. And breaking out of that loop is similar to breaking out of an addiction. You'd look back and wonder what the hell you saw in that person or why you react to them the way you did, because none of it makes any rational sense. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 01/04/25 03:35 AM |
| 1 | There is no good Bluepill Dating Manual.By going out and actually interacting with people, like 99% of the population already does, for free too. There’s nothing worth $30 in a book that you can learn for free out in the field on your own. Comedians will tell you behind-the-scenes how bad it was when they first got started. A lot of awkward deliveries, jokes that don't land, nervous freezes, etc. Practice and the willingness to face rejection is how the successful ones grew to who they are. I used to go with my wife to the local amate… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 30/03/25 09:03 PM |
| 5 | There is no good Bluepill Dating Manual.I’m old enough to remember when Dungeons and Dragons crowds would fall upon their knees for one pussy with a pulse to be in their midst. Or gosh, any of the nerdy things I did. Magic, board games, fantasy football, video games, the list goes on. In their defense, I do think there's a need for male spaces. It just can't be a given person's only space. I benefited a lot from, and still, my best bros' circles. There's definitely a dynamic there that mixed-gender groups do not have. The possibility … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 30/03/25 08:58 PM |
| 5 | Dating apps have likely peaked in popularityIG still seems like dating for the super attractive or very well off. Rich dudes use it to fly out 10s that are usually in college, but I’ve never tried it. I doubt I’d get any interest from randomly sliding in and it seems like way more work than swiping for someone interested in meeting up. I think that makes it more of a solicitation app than a dating one. The only couples I know who 'met' on Insta met elsewhere first and then added each other on Insta to make plans for going out. It's just t… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 30/03/25 03:21 AM |
| 3 | Dating apps have likely peaked in popularityI think ironically the apps work best for the group of the people who probably need them least, i.e. the sociable ones who are already out there doing things and reach out to people they don't bump into otherwise. I met my wife on Hinge, and despite living 2 miles from each other, we had zero social circle overlap otherwise. Chicago is just so huge that each enclave or sub-activity sphere is effectively its own world. The men (and women) they don't seem particularly effective for are usually the… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 30/03/25 03:18 AM |
| – | DISCUSSION🗨️ ABOUT MAIN PPD POSTS📮, LOOKS👀, AND N-COUNT🔢 ARE RESTRICTED🚫 FROM THE DAILY🌞 MEGATHREAD🧵If this whole fiasco was a plot point in a film, it would have been axed during scripting as being too unrealistic. Heck, it might have made an episode or two in VEEP only to highlight how absolutely bungled of a mess and scandal this might have been for Selina Meyer and her team. Reality really is stranger than fiction. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/03/25 04:27 AM |
| 2 | Loneliness is a problem because of laziness and the rise of autism, not social media.Interestingly enough, Anthony Hopkins is too. In his case, he claimed it has helped his acting career by seeing people from a different perspective than some other actors. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 26/03/25 07:45 PM |
| 2 | Loneliness is a problem because of laziness and the rise of autism, not social media.I don't doubt there's likely environmental factors, but it's also that we have more nuanced gradations of autism now, and two people with autism can behave quite differently depending on severity. A lot of very mild cases would likely go unnoticed due to a lifetime of learned masking, and those people pass off as awkward or stunted but not what one might consider autistic at a first glance. Perhaps it's always been this common, but most people don't leave a trail back in the day, so there's almo… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 26/03/25 07:42 PM |
| 8 | Why do many men shame women for being with men then say men are high value?The internet has really made so many discourses worse over the years. It takes like 3x the word count to give a nuanced position, so the ones who can write quick one-liners move up the queue (much easier to do if you have an extreme position). People have to love or hate everything now, when really, you should be indifferent like 80% of the time. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 26/03/25 05:42 PM |
| 1 | Are you okay being the man she settled for? Does is matter if you disgust her?If we’re going to use food analogies, it’s more that some people get too comfortable with what they know, be it by habit or upbringing, and won’t explore to realize their range is potentially much bigger. Like my mother-in-law who raised my wife to think onions and garlic are spicy. Being married now to a guy who liberally uses onions, garlic, and all manners of peppers, curry, etc. (I’m Asian), she’s expanded her palate quite a bit. Will she love spicy food to my degree? Probably never, but it’… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 26/03/25 09:32 AM |
| 1 | Stop saying "just be yourself" to menI think it’s more that what’s a hobby to some is an obsession to another, and I see a lot of that between-the-lines on this sub. I also play MTG (or at least I used to - can’t keep up with release cycles anymore). I currently run a D&D group. I play Football manager and sometimes do excel work projects ad hoc at like 2am for fun. But collectively these hobbies can be dropped when my wife needs me to run errands or make dinner. I get great joy out of them, but I am also equally fond of a night wi… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 26/03/25 09:18 AM |
| 2 | Has anyone else found that Right Wing Man/Left Wing Woman pairings seem more common than the reverse?I'd argue, however, that the "ties that bind" politically for the most ideological aren't in-group identity as you suggest, but out-group non-identity, as (like incels who hate women) people seem to find much more in common by having a common "enemy" than actually agreeing, which is why so many of the political types screech so hard when they realize the person they aligned with actually holds some opposing viewpoints as them despite agreeing on the majority. Interesting thought, and probably al… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 24/03/25 06:24 PM |
| 6 | Has anyone else found that Right Wing Man/Left Wing Woman pairings seem more common than the reverse?Yep. Not sure if chicken or the egg, but the more effeminate men I know avoid physical fitness and also tend to be more left-leaning. And by desire, they either downplay or deprioritize their masculine aspect, and the pop image of left-leaning men being doughy/effeminate is made. The physically fit and left-leaning guys I know have no problem with displaying their masculinity nor finding partners. Political ideology shouldn't impact your physical effort. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 24/03/25 06:12 PM |
| 3 | Has anyone else found that Right Wing Man/Left Wing Woman pairings seem more common than the reverse?I know some of these couples, the thing is you can roleplay for a while in the early stages of the relationship, but at some point it fades because it's not something they actually value. A lot of nonbelievers are okay with compartmentalizing the personal beliefs portion, but they don't realize that most true believers are also in it for the social aspect, and that they have to be willing to associate in those communities indefinitely. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 24/03/25 06:01 PM |
| 1 | Dating apps are worst than the websites were, at least for men.Why do I feel like those studies are extremely focused on US citizens? Pew at least is an American org based in DC, so I think their polls and findings are mostly focused on Americans. Gallup is similar. What size is the sample? Is it representative in any way? Sample size is of course important, but not as important as most people naively assume. A sufficiently representative sample can get darn close to the overall populace with like 200-500 people - there are power calculators that one can us… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 23/03/25 09:20 PM |
| 0 | LOOKS WEEKLY DISCUSSION THREADI've anecdotally seen girly girls tend to like their polar opposite, whereas the more ambiguous and tomboyish seem more inclined towards the thinner pretty men. Not sure if actual correlation though, probably varies a lot by local scene. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 23/03/25 08:19 AM |
| – | Toxic masculinity keeps getting reproduced via women's dating patternsSomeone who actually is an "alpha" doesn't give a shit about anyone else's "social status," (or their opinions of his) and they certainly would never actually use the term "alpha" with regard to themselves. Because they don't care. Funny enough, some kids call themselves sigma because it means they're not in the hierarchy...but it's equivalent to the alpha if it was part of th hierarchy because of course why wouldn't it be lol. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 23/03/25 12:52 AM |
| 2 | N COUNTS WEEKLY DISCUSSION THREADIt's also wonky for something like n-count because it's capped by a lower bound of zero, which is where everyone starts and most people don't end up far from, while the upper bound is theoretically uncapped although few people are at the 15+ line. So it's not really a normal distribution, which further makes the median perhaps more telling than the mean. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 17/03/25 03:58 PM |
| 2 | N COUNTS WEEKLY DISCUSSION THREADI've seen 'commitments' that lasted like 2 weeks lol. Growing up in a more conservative parts of the Midwest, some people become 'exclusive' just so they can boink (the logic being marriage > premarital > non-exclusive. Can't get married quickly, but can at least be in a relationship). But to your overall point, an LTR or two, maybe some short ones, and a ONS or two is I think in line with most people's mental expectations. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 17/03/25 03:54 PM |
| 3 | CMV: These "Her" like AI experiences won't alleviate loneliness for menMy point is, we’re already seeing people form meaningful attachments to non-human entities, AI included. Wilson! I'm sorry Wilson! | /r/PurplePillDebate | 17/03/25 03:46 PM |
| 3 | Getting women is just like getting another jobIt's really dependent on demand. Men who are highly desirable date the same way a desirable woman would. People always ready to 'apply' for the open position, propositions and hints dropped in text, SM, in-person, etc. If you're in the 'it' camp, basically the only real limiter to the 'job' is you. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 17/03/25 03:42 PM |
| 3 | How do you define accountability, and what specific things should someone do, in your opinion, to “take accountability”?Nevertheless, I would say that many currents of feminism and political activism in our time are pretty obsessed with "power structures" and "systems", which also make people feel helpless and unable to own up their stuff and make changes on an individual level. Idk if it makes people feel helpless so much as gives them an easier venue for airing grievances, which acts as a simulacrum of sort for actually trying to resolve the situation. This is also why social media 'activism' is so prevalent, b… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 13/03/25 04:42 AM |
| – | DISCUSSION🗨️ ABOUT MAIN PPD POSTS📮, LOOKS👀, AND N-COUNT🔢 ARE RESTRICTED🚫 FROM THE DAILY🌞 MEGATHREAD🧵Be there for your best friend. Be neutrally pleasant and civil with the others, or perhaps make friends with some people you've never met. Life is too short to focus on the people are not personally worth your time. Wouldn't it be a bummer to your best friend that these people made it, but you didn't? Of course you can make it up later, all good bros understand, but this is a moment for your best bro, do it for him. You can always feign an excuse and leave shortly after. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 11/03/25 04:31 AM |
| 1 | LOOKS WEEKLY DISCUSSION THREADI think most of us have ‘templates’ we’re into. Likewise, it helps to identify and maximize what templates you can fit. Sure, some people are generically attractive so they can go for multiple variants, but most of us have at least one we can strive for. Tricky part is that the template you like most might not like yours. Them’s the breaks unfortunately. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 09/03/25 09:17 AM |
| 6 | LOOKS WEEKLY DISCUSSION THREADWith a good head trim, he’d look like one of those psych or philosophy profs I used to have. There’s a real niche for those guys. I would generally agree that they’re in the same league though. I wouldn’t have any second thoughts seeing them in public together or question at any deeper reasoning (e.g. like seeing Bill Belichick and his g/f, or whoever Leo is with at any given time, or that old producer dude of BTS and whichever Korean talent he’s “mentoring”). | /r/PurplePillDebate | 09/03/25 08:57 AM |
| 4 | Society should encourage Women to become single moms.Statistically, single-parent households lead to the kids having some of the worst adulthood outcomes. This is of course entangled with things like poverty, SES, etc., and I'm sure if we as a society want to pony up a massive allowance for each single parent, you might get somewhere. Based on the current status quo though, we should absolutely not encourage single-parent families. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 08/03/25 09:37 PM |
| – | What are some code that women use towards guys they’re not interested in?This is key. There's time in the day to date if people want to see you hard enough. It might only be one night a week for a few hours, but they'll reserve it for you. And if they don't because they're so busy, would you want to be with someone who can't make time for you? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 04/03/25 09:37 PM |
| 4 | Do the Women on the Female Dating Strategy to 4B Movement Pipeline Never Question Why the "Handbook" by Definition Didn't Work for Them?I'm happily married and still browsing/posting/commenting here. Are we supposed to only let people who don't have successful positive experiences speak for the rest of us on gender and relationship dynamics? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 04/03/25 07:31 PM |
| 11 | Why are some men hateful of women when other men are their biggest competitors?Sure men are my competition but women are the ones that create the rules of the game and decide who wins it. I.e. Don't hate the players, hate the game. I hope you don't mind me going on a total tangent here (though in my head, it is related). There's a lot of conversations about this in the design community. People respond to incentives within any system, even if they don't feel great about it. In competition for example, the rules are often min-maxed on or even exploited, even when everybody i… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 03/03/25 08:00 PM |
| 2 | Did The 2014-15 Discussion of "Nice Guys" And "Me Too" Cause You To Stop Dating/Talking To Men?The filter is not as strong as it was. My GenZ colleagues bring their social media conversations to work now. Politics for example used to be 'off-limits' out of courtesy, but many people don't stay in one job long enough to actually care about presenting a front anymore. So they openly discuss things that aggrieves them. There are definitely still a lot of people who keep more to themselves, but I think over time the lines of 'acceptable' conversations will only get blurrier. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 02/03/25 04:22 AM |
| 11 | What issues that men experience should we focus on?In the US at least, the education pipeline for men has gotten way worse. Whatever anyone wants to point to as the cause (primary/secondary education system is biased, too much distraction, hustle culture, etc.), I think it's fair to say everyone nominally prefers a more educated worker/dating pool. Not saying education is the only path or even the best path for any given person. Some people legitimately should not go to college because it does not play to their strengths. But all else being equa… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/02/25 10:00 PM |
| 3 | Q4M: "You're husband material" should be a complimentAnd not to mention, taste is seldom universal across cultures. What is seen as attractive in East Asia is sometimes quite different than the US, for example (being East Asian myself and consuming media content from both). If culture can influence taste, then conditioning can too, ergo social media can definitely shape preferences. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/02/25 06:46 PM |
| 4 | Why Are Attractive Men Assumed to Be Worse Partners?I do not doubt your negative experiences, and I'm sorry that happened to you (hopefully you are in a much better place). But just as you have lived your experiences, I was kind of an invisible duckling and life became 2-3x easier when I had my college glow-up. It was genuinely a bit odd at first going from the 'good friend' who was basically invisible in dating pool to...women making themselves available to my schedule, being drunk texted, getting stared at from across the classroom, etc. People… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/02/25 06:28 PM |
| 10 | Why Are Attractive Men Assumed to Be Worse Partners?Most attractive people have also led more pleasant lives, so they don't have as many 'callouses' for human interactions. People go out of their way to nice to attractive people. You can't completely coast on it, but it's easy to believe the world's a nice place when people drop their priorities to help you with yours. Like yeah, they get more unwanted attention, but they also get a lot more wanted attention as well. Anyone who's had an ugly duckling phase knows there's a point where all of a sud… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/02/25 06:06 PM |
| 8 | What's YOUR experience with dating apps?A little bit of that I'm sure, but also gym pics are also usually poor lighting and 'low-effort'. Like you said, finding ways to show physique tastefully works really well. Beach pictures also show you have a social circle and enjoy frolicking in public, whereas gym pics doesn't say much about you. There's a certain fantasy/marketing that has to happen with men's profiles, women are not as turned on exclusively by visuals. I think there was that one meme during the purge here about how women lik… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/02/25 05:57 PM |
| 2 | What's YOUR experience with dating apps?Around 28-33, before meeting my now-wife on Hinge. For most of it, I sort of passively swiped every day or two, but spent very little time actually using it. Only used it earnestly for about 6 months leading up until when I met the wife. Tinder/Bumble: was mostly a wasteland full of bots. I did get a few dates, but of all of them I'd say maybe 2 were quality. Hinge: for whatever reason, this one app in particular was very effective for me. Seems to have fewer issues with bots at the time. But I … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/02/25 05:50 PM |
| 9 | What's YOUR experience with dating apps?The gym pics communicate a certain vibe to a lot of women, which is what they actually dislike. Nobody dislikes fitness though (vs. looking 'roided out, which is overkill in most situations). | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/02/25 05:41 PM |
| 2 | Do you oppose or support men being able to legally cut ties with children not biologically their’s in the case of late stage paternity misattribution?Thanks for sharing, I’m happy for the positive relationships you’ve had and wish you the best as can be. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 26/02/25 11:26 PM |
| 37 | Women are dating the same terrible dudesPerhaps it's a combination of age and/or the lower SES community I grew up in (maybe 25% of us went to college, my high school did so poorly we got combined into another one), but certainly RP 'truisms' resonated a lot more back when I was in my late teens and young 20s. The women I met/dated in grad school, and also a little older, were completely different. I definitely think class, SES, and the like matters a lot more than people think. Survival/dating strategies in the 'hood' is so different… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 26/02/25 10:57 PM |
| 3 | Do you oppose or support men being able to legally cut ties with children not biologically their’s in the case of late stage paternity misattribution?How was/is your relationship with both of them (+bio dad if you ever got in touch)? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 26/02/25 10:37 PM |
| 4 | Do you oppose or support men being able to legally cut ties with children not biologically their’s in the case of late stage paternity misattribution?The best I can think of is just giving him money. I think the crux is that oftentimes, there isn't any money to give. If the offending party has no resources, there's only punishment as far as legal recognition that they wronged the other person, but no real consequences beyond that. We probably don't want to jail them because someone needs to raise the kid. Like I guess we could stamp a scarlet letter on them, but what does that matter. It's just one of those scenarios where there's not really … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 26/02/25 10:33 PM |
| 1 | Women Don’t See Themselves as Abusers—Physically or Sexually.There's a lot here and you definitely strike me as an academic thinker hahaha. I will speak to just one piece though: the binary. It seems we as humans are just quite uniquely in-tune with defining things mentally in binaries: light vs dark, good vs. evil, us vs. them, etc. It does simplify the world, which I know is quite appealing to most people (myself included on many days). I think this is why the conversation becomes oppositional, and in many ways modern mainstream discourse often has femi… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 26/02/25 10:22 PM |
| 2 | DNC's "Run for Office" Webpage excludes men wile Democrats struggle with getting young male supportFair enough. And I suspect I know what you're referring to re: his personal life. I don't personally agree with that assessment, but we can only speculate from afar. That said, I was thinking peak as in when politics surrounding it became most heated. That mattress girl invitation happened in 2015. I have no doubt Obama's political allies would have surrounded him in an environment where pushing back wasn't worthwhile. Things like the fappening also heightened the cases around then. If anything,… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 26/02/25 10:11 PM |
| 7 | I’ll Answer the “Why Don’t Men Read Our Profiles?” Question.I'm pretty sure most apps also punish mass swipers by moving them to the lowest queue of people displayed in an effort to throttle bots, but also to adjust your profile's 'appeal' score. So if you swipe right on 100 profiles, but only 1 swiped back, then your appeal score is 1/100, or 1%. It's much better for you to only swipe right on 10 in that case, i.e. 1/10 or 10%. Apps are not designed with altruism in mind, it's to maximize engagement and make them $. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 26/02/25 06:23 PM |
| 2 | How turned off would you be if before sex, he pulled out a consent form?I guess I'll just agree to disagree. The best-case scenario I can see is that a public and published consent form can warn future guys that this could be a red-flag scenario, but it won't help the current guy (unless she falsely accuses more guys, then they might all get retroactively exonerated, socially-speaking). The form might prevent someone from starting an accusation at all, but once those starts flying, all bets are off. Like with my example above, all of us knew they started sleeping to… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 26/02/25 06:17 AM |
| 8 | How turned off would you be if before sex, he pulled out a consent form?Legally? Not so much. It's non-binding (I work in legal) since the terms can be withdrawn at any time. It's like those 'I consent' forms you fill out when giving away personal data. If you request the data be scrapped at a future point in time, they can't say the data was collected with your initial consent and have that be the final word. The party that withdraws permission always win out. Socially, the only scenario where it could help is where a woman might claim the entire event start-to-fin… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 26/02/25 05:46 AM |
| 3 | Women Don’t See Themselves as Abusers—Physically or Sexually.Not OP, but I did read your post and appreciate it. I did get a good chuckle here and there: jargon is currency in post-modernist writing it seems (the obscurant terrorism if that phrase means anything to you). I used to be an academic-tracked grad student, and it's one of the biggest turn-offs for me. Some people are almost proud that their writing is dense in an incoherent way. They also can't toggle between intended audiences: writing for an academic audience who's already familiar with some … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 26/02/25 05:03 AM |
| 6 | How turned off would you be if before sex, he pulled out a consent form?Nah, she'd just say she wanted to stop half-way through but he kept going, or that she only consented to certain things but he forced himself on her in other ways. It's not going to matter in court most likely, but the social reputation damage is going to occur regardless of the form (because there's no way for anyone to prove the situation played out as it did, so it just becomes a he said/she said situation). | /r/PurplePillDebate | 26/02/25 04:30 AM |
| 12 | How turned off would you be if before sex, he pulled out a consent form?It might get him out of legal trouble (maybe), but it's still social suicide, re: she wanted to stop part way in but he pushed her to keep going (no way to verify, the form doesn't cover that, the ones who want to believe he's the bad guy will still assume the worst). | /r/PurplePillDebate | 26/02/25 04:23 AM |
| – | What are some genuine physical requirements do you think women care about when it comes to het dating ?Thus, if a guy is below a girl's min. threshold for appearance, then suddenly appearance is the most important thing. Once he meets it, suddenly each marginal 'boost' of appearance is less important than many other things. It's a combination of multi-hurdle + banding, two concepts used in hiring/selection research. Multi-hurdle means there's multiple minimum scores or criteria you are evaluated on. Once you passed the minimum though, you are part of a 'band' where all members of the band are tre… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 25/02/25 07:31 PM |
| – | What are some genuine physical requirements do you think women care about when it comes to het dating ?Hands and forearms. I remembered coming off a game in high school gym where I was super warm and my forearm veins were topping. I thought at the time some of the girls were staring because it might have looked gross, but apparently forearms and veins can really get some ladies really going. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 25/02/25 07:19 PM |
| 4 | Simple clarification about the "choose better" and the "lowering of standards".I think the number of people and how homogenous the population is makes a much bigger difference than politics/values (or at least, verbalized values. Hypocrisy is a staple of any and all communities). If you're stuck in a small town and you are 'different' it can be really hard to find a partner. Big cities have their own dating challenges, but if you're one-in-a-thousand, then you have a thousand others like you in a city of a million, and finding enough of them to gather and build community w… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 25/02/25 07:03 PM |
| 24 | DNC's "Run for Office" Webpage excludes men wile Democrats struggle with getting young male supportObama had to tiptoe around the zeitgeist of the time, which is when MeToo era was at its peak. Not an excuse of course, but it contextualizes why the messaging became what it was. The past decade after that was just continuation down the same path. Going forward though, the Dems don't really have any excuses left. They thought they could win without giving at least some focus on men (particularly younger ones), or heck just even some lip service. The result is that almost every subgroup swung in… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 25/02/25 06:47 PM |
| 1 | LOOKS WEEKLY DISCUSSION THREADI believe you that people weigh more than they look, heck I weigh more than I look. If she was 5'6" or 5'7", I'd have zero trouble believing 190. I also have no trouble believing 190 + weigh obviously distributed, the picture above just doesn't flag as that. She seems shapely, similar to my wife's build actually but she's 5'5" and definitely not 190. I'll concede it's possible, I'm just not convinced. The galleries are informative, but when I filtered on people of her height and weight and they … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 24/02/25 08:51 AM |
| 2 | LOOKS WEEKLY DISCUSSION THREADThat would probably be a 30/70 point I think. 5'5" is about an inch taller than the average height for women in the US, and about the average for western women in general. I'm sure plenty of women would choose a million-earner about her physical size with a little extra endowment over a 'mere' 6-figures-naire. I'd venture 5'7" is probably where you might see the 50/50 point. Tall enough that most women can wear some heels and still feel smaller/picturesque with their guy, but recognize that the … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 24/02/25 05:55 AM |
| 1 | LOOKS WEEKLY DISCUSSION THREADThere's still a range of feasibility though, no? Unless her bones are titanium implanted or that she has a back brace on, or that she's twice as thick horizontally behind the image, she still has to account for 50 lbs somehow. Going by the mirror behind her which is one of those standard door-hanging ones, her pictured hip is like 34" max. Mine is like 30" right now. She's not distributing 50 extra lbs on me with just those 4" of horizontal thickness. Like, these women are at the 99.999% of abso… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 24/02/25 05:32 AM |
| – | DISCUSSION🗨️ ABOUT MAIN PPD POSTS📮, LOOKS👀, AND N-COUNT🔢 ARE RESTRICTED🚫 FROM THE DAILY🌞 MEGATHREAD🧵The measure seems pretty standard for these kinds of personality measurement stuff (1-5 Likert). Can't seem to get any info on who runs the site, the testimonials feature some big names, so I guess that's encouraging though ultimately, I can't say with anymore confidence than that. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 24/02/25 05:13 AM |
| 1 | LOOKS WEEKLY DISCUSSION THREADIdk if she's deliberately lying or the photo hides it well, but I know what professional footballers weigh, and she would be 40-50 lbs heavier than dudes her size who are fitter than 99.999% of the population at that size. Messi for example is 5'7" and 150 lbs. And we know that muscle is much denser than fat. By comparison, I'm 5'3" and 135 lbs and I'm solidly in the 'average-ish' range of BMI. You'd have to convince me she's somehow still as 'average-ish shape' as I am and manage to pack on 50+… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 24/02/25 04:59 AM |
| 3 | LOOKS WEEKLY DISCUSSION THREADThat's not enough of a drawback to make the difference distinct. You'd have to go like 5'0", 7 inch, 7 figure to make the contrast more apparent and a tougher choice (even then I'd bet most would choose option 1. Most would probably be thrilled for 6 figures and 6 in, the extra is just bonus). | /r/PurplePillDebate | 24/02/25 04:34 AM |
| – | How often do you date outside of your race ?In the US at least, I've noticed that the younger generation are seemingly higher on East Asian men than when I was growing up. I think the popularity of Kpop and just nerdom in general has brought a lot more Asian cultures to the mainstream and broadened our appeal a bit. This is a bit of a side-tangent, but it's interesting in that beauty standards for Asian men in the East vs. the West is surprisingly different. Simu Liu for example was criticized by some Chinese netizens as being 'ugly' when… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 23/02/25 11:17 AM |
| – | How often do you date outside of your race ?In the US at least, it's basically color phenotype with a mix of race/ethnicity. If I had to use my own anecdotal experience, it's basically white, black, Hispanic/Latino, Asian (Eastern), Asian (Indian), Middle-Eastern, Native American, and mixed (though usually typecast into one of the above based on presentation). Since we have a ton of diversity in nationalities in the US, breaking down some of those categories further become difficult, which leads to all sorts of imprecision. So like in Mic… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 23/02/25 11:09 AM |
| 5 | I don’t understand why some men in the manosphere complain that men lose a lot in a divorce but also say they don’t care about a woman’s education, job, earnings etcGreat way to trim out lower-quality 'friends' too actually. A bad friend is worse than no friend. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 22/02/25 06:51 AM |
| 4 | the normalization of negative views on the relationship between men and women.Have you also been seeing a rise in discussion of toxic familial relationships? I don't think it's just dating. People be cutting off family members left and right, where in the past they'd begrudgingly tolerate that weird uncle or overly catty aunt at family functions. It's increasingly normalized in part because we've become better at speaking out against undesirable elements of any relationship. Naturally, that invites people to speak out - and people often complain most loudly when things ar… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 22/02/25 05:37 AM |
| 1 | Thirsty men arent good and good men arent thirsty.You know, I've never thought of throwing a whole discussion into ChatGPT before, but this might be a good use of it. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 21/02/25 03:55 AM |
| – | If TRP wasn’t accurate, blue pillers would not be trying to censor it so aggressivelyYour argument is "truth always prevails" when modern times have shown time and time again a good propaganda/misinformation campaign can overshadow the truth very easily Extremely concerning too now that social media addiction is so high and people can't seem to weigh 'evidence' from a TikTok video or FB "news" link vs. actual research, or legitimate experts from an influencer. I'm trying to stay positive, but it's definitely getting harder. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 20/02/25 04:48 AM |
| – | Don’t women not really care about how a man dresses & isn’t wearing nice clothes just something guys y’all aren’t as physically attracted to can attempt to use to add points?Same haha, 15% used to be a good tip when I was delivering pizza around 20 years ago, anything beyond that you have to really earn. Now the lowest default option is like 18-21% for most apps, you have to go out of your way to give less or opt to not tip at all I guess. And yeah, tipping has gone from industry specific to I think just about any service-related work, with exceptions for the lucrative white-collar work. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 19/02/25 07:05 PM |
| – | Don’t women not really care about how a man dresses & isn’t wearing nice clothes just something guys y’all aren’t as physically attracted to can attempt to use to add points?Yeah, tipping in the US is basically out of control and kind of priced in these days. The Mrs. and I made a conscious effort to stop going out for dinner as often so we can pay down some new bills and honestly we save so much it's kind of absurd. Our Valentine's dinner last week was >$100 with just two entrees, one drink, taxes and tips. We average around $100-150/week on groceries, so basically ate one week's worth of food in one meal. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 19/02/25 05:15 PM |
| – | Don’t women not really care about how a man dresses & isn’t wearing nice clothes just something guys y’all aren’t as physically attracted to can attempt to use to add points?The one I got was in London, so pricewise it's not too different than here in the States (on the expensive end, around $40). I think it's a nice treat, but I grew up on those $10 haircuts, so it feels very expensive to me. Inflation though, right? And yeah, tipping is much more of a US thing. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 19/02/25 04:08 PM |
| 17 | How can men be physically sexy in a tasteful way? Do you think "being sexy" is a social skill?Short answer is yes. Attractiveness is a look, but sexiness is a vibe. To use a woman example, a girl-next-door look can be extremely attractive/pretty. But how they act in motion can exude extreme sexiness, even if dressed modestly. A head-tilt, a slight lip bite, a quick naughty glance...and so on. Sexiness is dynamic, even in still forms. Same is true of men. There are various 'motifs' of men being sexy. My wife and other women I've dated have mentioned that when I'm intensely thinking and wo… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 19/02/25 06:56 AM |
| – | Sure we don't like it when men sexualized women. But we all still live in a society that encouraged men to sexualize women though.At its core, it's a contradiction imposed by free choice. People want an ideal world where women are not sexualized without their consent. This applies at a broad level (women who use their sexuality in general for an advantage, e.g. charming their clients for sales, asking for favors, and of course sex work from OnlyFans to escorting). It also applies at an individual level - women definitely want to be seen in an attractive sexual light, but only by men they want to broadcast that to. In an id… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 19/02/25 06:29 AM |
| 4 | Don’t women not really care about how a man dresses & isn’t wearing nice clothes just something guys y’all aren’t as physically attracted to can attempt to use to add points?On the point of styling, a good haircut does a lot of work. We did our honeymoon in Europe and I got a Euro-style haircut from this really meticulous barber with buzz/fades that really worked my contour - the wife was extremely happy. Haven't quite been able to replicate it since returning to the States. Of course, regular stylish haircuts cost a lot of money to upkeep, so I would say to focus on more economical options first if possible. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 19/02/25 06:02 AM |
| 2 | Marriage shouldn't be permanent.But it's already not permanent. What you're keying into is that we should continue to destigmatize divorce so people can get divorced if they want to. We treat people with respect to be their own adults and make hard choices if they are miserable in their arrangement. Even with divorce at its height however, just over half of couples still go the distance. We're celebrating my wife's uncle/auntie's 50th anniversary this week actually. It doesn't have to be fantasy and make-belief, but it does ta… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 18/02/25 09:36 PM |
| 1 | Q4M: "Women are too picky", but also "I don't want to feel like I was settled for". Which one is it?That's so 1920s. Last I heard, making a new crypto and/or selling digital monkey NFTs was the way to go. Or something something AI. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 17/02/25 10:12 PM |
| 2 | We shouldn't be jealous of shallow relationshipsAnalogies are seldom perfect of course. I imagine your resume and credentials were impressive, certainly enough to get to the interview stage - those would be the analogous components of what makes you attractive enough to get to the dating stage. The experience helps the overall portfolio, but it's contextual. I think you would be a third category to the above examples. Group 1 are the workers with spotty experiences and questionable skillsets yet still end up in new roles constantly. Group 2 h… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 16/02/25 07:12 AM |
| 5 | We shouldn't be jealous of shallow relationshipsSure, it's desirable to not envy their bad and shallow relationships. I don't think that's where the envy is coming from, at least not for most of the complaints I've read. It's that these people, despite being flagged as a bad prospects due to their dating history, will continue to have more opportunities. It's also unwise I think to assume they're only dating each other - shallow daters date 'healthy people' too, and often leave them less healthy and needing to piece themselves back together. … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 16/02/25 06:14 AM |
| 8 | Most Women Are Not Making “Husband Material” Men Work Harder for Sexsome dudes will put on a show for weeks or month, and still lie about their lack of desire for a relationship. I generally support your message, but I have anecdotally never met a guy who put on a show for that long and pulling the wool over someone's eyes. The guys who want sex rather than relationships tend to be playing the field and juggling with multiple prospects whenever possible to maximize their odds. I've seen many guys dance and dodge the 'what are we?' conversation (I'll admit, I've … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 16/02/25 05:59 AM |
| 1 | Is there any evidence that conservative men prefer liberal women?I can save her change him? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 15/02/25 04:40 PM |
| 3 | Where did the whole “women love bad boys” thing even come from? How true do you think it is?Ideal, sure, but how many of us can pull our ideal? I think it's a tension many grapple with, where you opt to take the 'good enough' if the ideal isn't available. You also have the contingent who thinks "I can change him" and proceed to learn some valuable lessons about life. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 14/02/25 10:25 PM |
| 10 | What's your take on different solutions to a loss of passion in a LTR?I notice that couples who drop off hardest tend to be those who aren't super emotionally supportive and attuned with each other to begin with, or haven't learned that skillset for beyond the bedroom setting. They basically settle into a 'new normal' that slowly loses that touch of intimacy/romance which then seeps into other aspects of their lives until they basically end up as roommates. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 14/02/25 12:45 AM |
| 3 | Q4M: do you find healthy relationships boring?I had an ex-roommate who grew up in a home where she and her parents/siblings would yell and tear into each other verbally (I witnessed this a few times as well when her family visited us and they started fighting). She did it to me at times as well when she's upset - yet after like 30 mins she would treat the moment as a non-event. It's almost like a dissociation or theatrical performance. I sat her down one time after we had an argument and said "you're in your 30s now, that's absolutely not o… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 13/02/25 06:33 AM |
| 9 | Losing your virginity "late" is far better than with the wrong personYou don't even have to lie, just say I haven't had any recent encounters #technicallythetruth | /r/PurplePillDebate | 12/02/25 10:28 PM |
| 2 | Why does autism seem to be the only hyper-masculine trait which isn't attractive?I assume whatever they decide isn't bc of me, but them. I'm not so important to be able to control anyone else so I just try to work on controlling me into being the type of person I want to grow into. Honestly, good for you if you work on embodying this. As Ted (from Ted Lasso) said, you have no idea how psychologically healthy that actually is. Best of luck with your life goals :) | /r/PurplePillDebate | 12/02/25 12:37 AM |
| 5 | If you’re upset that women dont ‘properly vet’ before the first date, you’ve never been on dates.Idk, nobody's calling me that so far in my 3 years here. There's a thin line between blaming people for bad choices and asking questions about why they seem to make decisions a certain way, but perhaps I work with a lot of lawyers so that dance is just something I have to be more aware of. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 12/02/25 12:32 AM |
| 5 | If you’re upset that women dont ‘properly vet’ before the first date, you’ve never been on dates.Isn't that kinda self-defeating though? Wanting a key value shared in a potential partner, but then avoiding stating it because that person might not share that value...only to be surprised and hurt after a while that the person doesn't have the shared value? I get that with time comes wisdom, more boundaries, firmer sense of self, etc. But I feel like this pattern is common enough that there needs to a better media dispelling or PSA or something. For what it's worth, I think boys have their own… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 12/02/25 12:04 AM |
| 4 | Why does autism seem to be the only hyper-masculine trait which isn't attractive?It's hit-or-miss for most of the NTs as well, despite their starting advantages. People don't act predictably moment-by-moment, it's not all random but even if you knew someone for decades they can still surprise you, let alone a stranger or prospective date. Your approach of "what if I was in their shoes?" is basically what most NTs do as well, though perhaps less consciously spelled out. But then you add in bias, conflict between competing desires, etc. and you get the whole of human drama pla… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 11/02/25 07:57 PM |
| 1 | How do you operate your finances with your partner?Depending on how you handle 'me-money' it could be nice to have it in a separate account. Me and the wife give ourselves a monthly 'me-money' allowance that can be spent on whatever we want. Most of the time, it's just things like food and drinks, but occasionally we surprise each other with a little gift and the other person won't see it coming, whereas we do our budgets and allocations together so anything in all joint accounts is fully visible. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 11/02/25 07:10 PM |
| 1 | The advice “Choose better” is relevant and correct almost alwaysYou can apply that to almost anything though. Drugs/alcohol are bad, but you'll find many PhDs, MDs, JDs, and geniusesTM using them. Gambling is mostly luck and most people lose, and yet you find millionaires burning through their wealth in a few years once the urge kicks in. When it comes to relationship, some people are just...especially tunnel-visioned I guess? Some have legitimate traumas from upbringing (I dated one of these early on), but others are just slow to learn. Some people are also… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 11/02/25 06:29 AM |
| 6 | Friendship and family don't fully replace romantic relationshipI can only speak for myself and people I know, and yes your commentary rings true for many men. There's a couple guys who used to be staples in our friends group but once they got a partner they sort of disappeared off the grid. And then they became single and never made the rounds back. That said, there are the guys like those in my core friends group these days that are all partnered but we make time for guys night every other week or so. Some of us parents, others are DINK, so our range of to… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 11/02/25 05:55 AM |
| 3 | LOOKS WEEKLY DISCUSSION THREADIn my experience, the ones who pretend to dislike it usually use it as an opener and poke fun by saying something like "oh, you're a douchey gymbro aren't you." Any dude who's got even a modicum of game is gonna close on a date real quick. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 11/02/25 05:43 AM |
| 6 | Only 2-10% of rape allegations were determined to be provably falseYeah dude, that’s messed up, glad you got outta there. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 11/02/25 04:10 AM |
| 6 | Only 2-10% of rape allegations were determined to be provably falseAlso why the first and most valuable advice is to never talk to the cops without your lawyer. They will try every tactic under the sun to get you talking, playing nice, being mean, stitching together phrases nonsensically to get you in a trap and coerc…advise you to confess and take a plea, and so on. Cops are not prosecutors, they don’t have to care that you have literal evidence of innocence, their gut feeling is always that if you’re in the room, you’re in the wrong, and they might even get o… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 10/02/25 11:12 PM |
| 5 | My friends GF broke up with him because he only has a part time jobIn college, most are poor and broke, so people prioritize fun. Post-college, fun doesn't pay the bills so priority shifts accordingly. Disclaimer: Not everyone of course. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 10/02/25 09:55 PM |
| 7 | If all men became athletic and lean, hypergamy would not have the average woman's standards suddenly raise to re-exclude them.I think it’s also a semantics game as well. The overall obesity rate masks that the rate goes up steadily with age range. For the late-teens to late-20s that make up the more vocal portion of this sub, obesity rates are only like half the average (drowned out by Millennials and Boomers who outnumber them in population count). Anecdotally anyways, almost everyone I know, myself included, is heavier now in our 30s than our 20s, some dramatically more so. In fact, I can only think of like 2 immedia… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 07/02/25 05:07 AM |
| – | Women DO lie about their preferences, and research shows it.Never was, if one considers that to be a politician for most of human history was to be born into nobility. Were there smart ones along the way, absolutely, brilliant even, but regular Joes breaking in are far the exception rather than the rule. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 07/02/25 12:53 AM |
| 40 | Most of The Commenters on This Sub Have Basically Zero Experience In What They Are Arguing AboutThe people who disagree with each other aren't likely having a similar overlap in experience, but that doesn't make them clueless. If I say I'm in my 30s, the 20s dudes will say I'm clueless about their predicament. Yet, I met my now-wife on a dating app like 3 years ago during the height of covid, so it's not like I'm clueless about the app game. If I say you can still succeed despite some physical limitations (I'm only 5'3"), they'll say I'm an exception or that because I'm older it doesn't ap… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 06/02/25 08:43 PM |
| 3 | The Age Gap "Issue" Is a Modern InventionGrowing up, I never really got the Asians being yellow thing - for me, it's just flesh-colored. But sometimes I place my hand next to my wife and I'm like 'oh yeah, relative to her, I'm yellow as heck, I see it now.' | /r/PurplePillDebate | 05/02/25 10:47 PM |
| 19 | Married men live longer, and so do married women (Although the benefit is larger for men than women). However, the argument that marriage benefits men more than women falls flat, when healthier and wealthier men are simply more likely to be married.Society inherently respects married people more, and caters to married people, especially if they have children. Working my way up the ladder right now, and honestly being married comes with all sorts of perks. It's easier to be pushy about pay because you can just play the family card, no hard feelings. It's easier to need to run errands because family and nobody is going to complain as hard (assuming it's not chronic). It's an easy topic to talk about. People are also at ease because you 'fit … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 05/02/25 04:41 AM |
| 5 | I dont care what anyone says. The red pill is saving livesWhat year is this? 1949? Trade wife is much more image than reality anyways. Anyone who grew up in a working class neighborhood knew that both parents worked even in the supposed golden age where a single-income family being possible was at its peak. So like, maybe 25% of the population got that luxury. With where the economy is at these days, I don't think those days will ever come back. Both the wife and I are comfortable earners, and I would never want to lose half of our inflow just so we ca… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 02/02/25 11:17 PM |
| 3 | N COUNTS WEEKLY DISCUSSION THREADKinda wish we have some new teams in the recent rotation. Bills/Ravens vs. Lions/Commanders would have been so hype. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 02/02/25 11:04 PM |
| 3 | Too many guys connect attraction to displaying human decency.Not advice so much as curiosity. I don't know his situation, so can't really offer any advice, but based on what he said, it sounded like he got the easy bases covered. So maybe it's not him but his locale. I certainly had more dating opportunities in a larger city than the smallish one that was mostly full of religious people that I grew up in. Sometimes, a change of scenery helps, but of course that might not apply in his case. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 02/02/25 04:58 AM |
| 6 | How do you think porn is actually different from (stereotypically) women reading erotica/romance novels/smut?I mean, isn’t that the part you came for? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 01/02/25 12:44 AM |
| 1 | People simply don't understand each other, and this impacts empathyI actually started this account to keep an eye on this sub, it was starting to bleed too much into my other interests. I find it helpful to binge once every few days or so, and then return to 'reality' as it were. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 01/02/25 12:02 AM |
| – | Please explain more about "I want women to be honest about their preferences"In the spirit of the larger thread, I think this is why frank and honest feedback is so valuable, but it conflicts with most of us and our desire to do no harm. So in an ironic way, it causes more potential long-term harm because it leads to people misreading situations. Nobody wants to be the bearer of bad news, because it's also true that people often shoot the messenger. I grapple with this when giving feedback to my my team members as well. Not all of them are stellar, but even the weaker on… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 31/01/25 11:33 PM |
| 1 | People simply don't understand each other, and this impacts empathyYeah, I was a psych major way back when lol, even went and tried for a PhD, so this stuff is all up my alley. This sub fascinates me for that, some people are quite analytical and sharp, though there are those who are just here to vent, for the memes, thinks that any sentence beyond 10 words is a word salad, etc. Gotta take the bad for the occasional good I guess. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 31/01/25 10:57 PM |
| – | If TRP and men’s issues weren’t legitimate the left and blue pillers wouldn’t be actively trying to censor it at every turnThe org groups get billions, which are then funneled through 'non-profit' things like bonuses for their CEOs and write-offs for think-tank dinners and summits. You and I can sign up to be unpaid volunteers, but rest assured, we'll be paid in exposure and the feeling of pride and achievement! | /r/PurplePillDebate | 31/01/25 10:20 PM |
| 1 | People simply don't understand each other, and this impacts empathyI think when people are dissatisfied, they'll look for answers and the 'net is a great source of answers (never mind good/bad, right/wrong, etc.). And the world seems to be making more and more of us dissatisfied, hence more and more people go looking for answers and some of these percolate into real-life conversations. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 31/01/25 10:07 PM |
| – | Please explain more about "I want women to be honest about their preferences"I would guess the feedback some men get are usually softened and gentle, and seldom gets at the core issues. And if you respect the messenger, you try to take their words for it and not look for the ulterior message between the lines. Ex: "You're just not my type, but you're really nice and that will make someone really happy someday." So someone might hear from that feedback that being nice is what makes them attractive and this was just a matter of type incompatibility. But really, the actual … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 31/01/25 10:01 PM |
| 23 | Please explain more about "I want women to be honest about their preferences"Yeah, but she can change him! Narrator: she, in fact, could not change him. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 31/01/25 09:23 PM |
| 20 | Too many guys connect attraction to displaying human decency.My luck in the dating market is just terrible for some reason. Even guys who have "lower SMV" have gfs where I live. Are you immersed in a culture/subculture vibe that's different than your core self? Like being a bookish kid in a favela, or an awkward dancer surrounded by clubbers, etc. You can be the tastiest strawberry in the world but surrounded by peach-lovers, that kinda thing. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 31/01/25 05:51 AM |
| 11 | AI and Robots Will Fix HypergamyI’m torn because I think the human mind will so quickly adapt the shame won’t be long-lasting as a societal thing. People in prolonged solitary confinement or stranded sometimes report ‘hallucinating’ a friend to keep themselves company in otherwise crushingly lonely situations. In an increasingly atomized society, I won’t doubt more and more people might react by retreating inward and relying on an AI companion to handle their daily interactions instead of other humans. Heck, you might argue th… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 30/01/25 08:12 PM |
| 6 | Men that tell women to “just choose better”, how do you feel about the exodus of women in the dating market?Women are leaving dating apps because it doesn't work the way they had hoped. That doesn't mean they're gonna stop dating, they're just choosing alternative methods like trying to find people through social activities/mutual connections or use non-dating apps like Insta. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 29/01/25 06:54 AM |
| 1 | Men that tell women to “just choose better”, how do you feel about the exodus of women in the dating market?30 years is a long time. Every 5 years I get older, I look back and see how much farther I've come along. Am I worse off than 25 in some ways? Absolutely. I used to feel old when I was like 28, but then you hit your next set of life goals and it starts all over again. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 29/01/25 06:51 AM |
| 8 | What does the blue pill get right and what wrong?Blue Pill "Right": Things beyond looks that are internal to the person really do matter. Personality, mannerisms, morals, etc. Blue Pill "Wrong": They matter after the initial minimal superficial hurdle is crossed. This is the often implied clause that for any number of reasons, people don't spell out. You don't have to be hot, but you can't be unattractive in the eyes of the beholder. You can go from neutral to attractive (this is where all the personality, mannerisms, morals, etc. kicks in), b… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 28/01/25 06:51 PM |
| 12 | Why do men avoid any firm statements on dating apps?One of my family members is a really well-spoken guy who writes big blocks of texts when chatting with his prospects (he’s an academic). Unsurprisingly he did not find success for a long, long time. Heck, I get tired of reading the blocks, never mind the people he was messaging lol. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 28/01/25 12:45 AM |
| – | Women don't make real dating goals they make fantasies.Number Two; is own an NFL team. Depending on your definition of "owning" an NFL team, the Packers sell shares. So not entirely out of the picture. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/01/25 09:50 PM |
| 0 | What are some negative habits/ traits that are commonly attributed to women that you actually feel is valid ?Yes, and if someone is prone to heart issues, we generally expect that they take medication and address their lifestyle. The onus should be similar for people with chronic anxiety to address it through medication/lifestyle rather than all of us warping society to accommodate them, per OP's original point. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/01/25 09:04 PM |
| 9 | Most crimes are committed by men, by no gangster ever had difficulty finding women to share the spoils withNot OP, but I used to work grocery. It's an environment where everybody dated everybody. There's always some who didn't get in on the rotation, but when everyone's making $10/hour, the manager who makes $15/hr and gets to set the schedule is king. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/01/25 07:41 PM |
| 1 | What are some negative habits/ traits that are commonly attributed to women that you actually feel is valid ?Seems pretty straightforward to me, but I can try again: -Experiences are subjective. -Anxiety is an experience within a person. You can’t separate the anxiety from the person having it. -Environmental triggers are not universal. And sometimes people are anxious from an internal cause. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/01/25 06:53 PM |
| 9 | What are some negative habits/ traits that are commonly attributed to women that you actually feel is valid ?Indirect communication, i.e. 'reading between the lines.' It's less offensive/confrontational, and it's 'clear' to the sender, so they are upset that the recipient can't parse it. I'm sure it's in large part social conditioning, but I've found that most people get much better at being explicit once they've had some relationships that challenge them to do better. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/01/25 05:52 AM |
| 1 | What are some negative habits/ traits that are commonly attributed to women that you actually feel is valid ?As in it's entirely subjective within the individual. You can't separate or isolate anxiety into some distinct object from the person who's experiencing it. We can point at environmental stimuli that can lead someone to feel anxiety, but that's not consistent. Two of us, for example, could look at a snake at the zoo and one person is anxious and the other fascinated. And sometimes, there's no seeming external trigger at all. Some people feel anxious from a self-feeding loop. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/01/25 05:14 AM |
| 1 | What are some negative habits/ traits that are commonly attributed to women that you actually feel is valid ?usually not very rational I mean, you’re describing most of humanity lol. But if I hear about manifesting abundance/love/etc., it’s usually in earnest and not entertainment, and it’s certainly one-sided gender-wise in my experience. And horoscopes are huge in the young Starbucks baristas circles I used to frequent in within the city, and they’re seemingly pretty earnest about how their signs explain everything from their traumas to their personalities. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 26/01/25 08:05 PM |
| 5 | What are some negative habits/ traits that are commonly attributed to women that you actually feel is valid ?I mean, anxiety literally is completely in someone’s head lol. But I know what you’re driving at. It’s become a ln odd dance where we want to be accommodating, but it’s still personal responsibility for everyone to manage their own being. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 26/01/25 07:57 PM |
| – | Ladies what are your height requirements? Does a man have to be 6 foot or does he just have to be taller than you?Yeah, but my wife doesn't truly love me! /s | /r/PurplePillDebate | 24/01/25 10:51 PM |
| 3 | There are lots of women who will counterintuitively RAISE their standards in the face of nonsuccess in datingI’m wondering, do some guys gas each other up when it comes to making terrible decisions like women do? For some reason I feel like men would be less likely to engage in that behavior. Can't speak for all, but certainly not in most circles I've ever been in. I think like when we were young, and someone wants to do some stupid behavior like chug 3 beers in a row or something, yeah, we'd egg them on. But something like knocking someone up, or getting back with a cheating ex, or letting themselves … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 24/01/25 10:06 PM |
| 6 | What's actually a normal dating progress most men feel comfortable with?That’s just the zoomers these days. I think sometimes were our slang and casual talk this bad? Possibly, but they weren’t something egged on further by social media to the point where people find icks in normal human behavior. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 24/01/25 04:40 PM |
| 2 | My take on how society has failed men and has contributed to extreme red pill ideology.Just commenting to say I appreciate your lengthy and well-thought out response. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 23/01/25 06:29 AM |
| 1 | N COUNTS WEEKLY DISCUSSION THREADI get what you're saying mentality-wise, but I think crossing 5 is more than sufficient. Realistically, the lifetime average is like 5-10 for most people, so anything above that and you start to get into the tier of people for whom 10 or 100 is a matter of whim (since they are so attractive in some way already that they themselves are really the only real limiter). | /r/PurplePillDebate | 23/01/25 06:06 AM |
| 3 | Friendzone complaints mainly come from guys who dont value friendships.Maybe I'm just a little older than the average here (36), but I find that friendships are so incredibly transient throughout the different stages of life. Who I thought might be in my life at 18 vs. 22 vs. 28 vs. now are quite different. From that vantage point, being close friends with someone where one developed feelings for the other and then slow-fade isn't some big crazy thing, it happens organically and like you said once people start spending time with their SO, the amount of time they sp… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 23/01/25 12:04 AM |
| 9 | I have a weakly held view that many red-pillers underestimate the success of the average man because they overuse dating apps, and there are tractable ways of improving their luck.Violence is sometimes seen as a positive in certain specific contexts. Sports for example celebrates a certain level of physical violence. Protecting someone else might necessitate violence. I think most people detest violence inflicted upon them, but recognizes that violence has a place (if only to protect you against other violent people). Social awkwardness I don't think has any positives that someone can point to, other than being a character on a TV show or something (in which case, we laug… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 22/01/25 09:43 PM |
| 1 | The "Friend-zone" is often deliberate manipulation.I'll also add that it's often with guys who have few other female friends, so otherwise healthy and good friends interaction (I mean, who doesn't want to be having fun with their friends and being able to let your guard down and get deep and personal?) become romantically-laced. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 21/01/25 10:00 PM |
| 8 | The "Friend-zone" is often deliberate manipulation.Yes, and you'd be best to avoid them, the same way we don't spend much time with the bros who never seem to have money but gets an IOU that he'll totally get me back for. Totally. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 21/01/25 08:01 PM |
| 6 | Why It’s Easy To Be A Misogynist Nowadays.I'm not tbh - the 1.4m accounts aren't all active, most are probably accounts that lasted a few months tops because only the tippy-top of OF accounts actually generate revenue worth discussing. So people dabble, realize it's a waste of time (the same way 99.99% of 'influencers' don't actually make it), and quietly slink away hopefully without too much long-term consequences. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 21/01/25 07:29 PM |
| 29 | The "Friend-zone" is often deliberate manipulation.Eh, if you do take that approach, then your friendship wasn't why you were at the table anyways. People who want to spend time with you don't charge a subscription fee. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 21/01/25 06:58 PM |
| 1 | What does your ideal society look likeYeah, short of forcing people to participate (which by adulthood, I do believe is too late) I don't know how you convince the non-social people to show up. And this upcoming generation has anxiety out the wazoo for casual social interaction, which compounds for deeper interactions. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 20/01/25 12:00 AM |
| 4 | Why do you like "bro" spaces?Context is definitely important. The reverse genderwise is also true. I saw two women besties catty up each other one night at the bar when a dude worked his way into our table and they were both interested. Up to that point, one of them was a good friend so it was kind of fascinating to see a totally different side of her. I'll also say culture/subculture matters as well. My academic crew back in grad school was/is pretty chill, while the rowdy bar-crawl crowd during undergrad was much feistier… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 19/01/25 06:26 AM |
| 2 | Some men will always be unappealing to all women in a romantic sense.Oh god absolutely. I've lived it - small communities can be really tough to date the less 'conventional' you are. I was a minority guy in a 70%+ Christian and white town - a lot of people wrote me off as a prospect because they weren't comfortable enough with that dynamic (due to families, friends, etc.). Being really short also didn't help (5'3") but I don't want to get too personal other than to affirm your statement that location matters a lot. Not that bigger cities are without their drawbac… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 16/01/25 08:22 PM |
| 13 | Some men will always be unappealing to all women in a romantic sense.The dude was really witty and suave. Being a generational genius also helps. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 16/01/25 08:11 PM |
| 1 | We’ve redefined “love bombing” to protect our fragile egosI mostly agree with you, but the challenge is that sometimes when people are inexperienced, they latch onto the concept that will most give them insight (even if it's wrong). I don't know if that's redefining so much as misusing. Being from the psych field myself way back when in grad school (left academia because $), there's a whole litany of things that are commonly misused. Gaslighting, MBTIs, IQ testing, multiple intelligences, etc. It's endemic because people crave meaning from chaos, and t… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 16/01/25 06:12 PM |
| 11 | It is up to Women to be proactive in the dating market nowadaysIt's sort of surreal sometimes living through it. There was a time where people did not walk around with their faces in a phone 24/7. I'm not exempt from this either, but I remembered distinctly in college one day where I was riding the bus that I could just pull out my phone and read the news. Right then and there, I thought "wow, there goes my desire to talk to neighbors on the train." Just like a year prior to that, I've legit met a couple women who sat nearby on the train, we started chattin… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 13/01/25 08:16 PM |
| 14 | It is up to Women to be proactive in the dating market nowadaysThis dynamic existed prior to the current world of dating apps as well. Generally, stranger-to-stranger dynamic is super tough to win over unless you're so darn attractive that it overrides the hesitance. Social proof is by far the easiest path I've found to chatting up 'strangers.' They're still strangers, but it's in a context where you're sort of pre-vetted and are a 'safe' approach. I don't deny that opportunities for this has dropped drastically now that everybody's migrated away into their… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 13/01/25 08:01 PM |
| 13 | In the modern dating age, the first step is the women "choosing the man", often times before he is even aware of it. In this way, women are the true initiators and selectors and men have far less power over the outcome.the average guy only gets 1-2 matches a week Someone's feeling generous. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 10/01/25 08:23 PM |
| 1 | N COUNTS WEEKLY DISCUSSION THREADUp or down depending on what they count and don't count. The term 'hooking up' is often deliberately and vaguely used depending on what sort of innuendo/context they wanted to convey. Some meant a person you made out with, others someone they went home with (even then, that's often left ambiguous as well), some for hitting the homerun. I've seen some count a drunk cuddle as a hookup lol. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 09/01/25 07:53 PM |
| 1 | What do you see as "Men's Issues"I appreciate this comment quite a bit. There’s lots of little pieces here to tackle that would truly improve the situation, many of them completely decentered from needing to be seen/validated by women. Only thing I potentially take note against is how emotionally-centric some aspects of society can be. Perhaps I’m a little high on the alexithymia scale, but it does bother me that a large part of my life and academic training is learning to see things dispassionately, and realizing that most peo… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 05/01/25 05:05 PM |
| 59 | I'm starting to think that finding a relationship is dependent only on your luckIf you apply luck broadly enough, it applies to literally any other scenario in life as well. Job depends on luck. Who you are born to, where, why that bee chose to sting you when you were 4 and left you with a lifelong allergic reaction vs. that other kid next to you, etc. are all matters of luck. It's true that nothing is guaranteed, but some paths are statistically better than others. So while the outcome is luck-based, you'd still rather roll the dice 100 times looking for a 6 than only roll… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 03/01/25 09:10 PM |
| 1 | Are "Ladies Nights" at bars sexist? Should they be abolished?Not sure if this is completely relevant, but I think there’s a parallel in why gay bars are financially sustainable but there are very few lesbian bars around. Women as the majority clientele do not drink/consume to the same extent men do, so financially speaking, a discount night can benefit through volume or through bringing men indirectly to offset the discount. Regarding if it’s sexist, I think the answer is yes to some degree, but tolerated to the extent all or most parties are getting enou… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/12/24 09:13 PM |
| 5 | It's pure BS that some Feminists make it a big deal when it comes to men trying to interact with women less because of false allegations.But I doubt that’s what you believed. Not OP and not speaking for OP, but you'd be surprised (or perhaps not?) how many people do believe that. Some people just don't really care as long as it doesn't affect them (and sincerely believe that it can't affect them because they're not doing anything wrong). I've come to find it doesn't have to do with critical thinking or intellect or anything like that. In grad school where I was surrounded by some of the brightest people I've ever met, this sentim… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/12/24 12:33 AM |
| 3 | There are no consequences to being a "bad person" and no incentives to be a "good person" when dating for short-term.Well, sometimes people come up with things like "Are we dating the same guy?", but then some people end up getting doxxed who are innocent. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 26/12/24 06:52 PM |
| 1 | If women are inseparable from their nature and biological drives, is there a point in trying to be good and in trying to be more than that nature?So my worry is that, no matter how hard I try to be kind to those around me, I will never be more than whatever tendency I have to take and never give. This is a challenge for every person who wants to cultivate a better sense of morality. The vast, vast majority of us would freely take or take and only give a token amount in return. It takes active training, self-governance, and cultivation to do more than our base instincts. See people who leave their carts in the grocery store parking lot bec… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 26/12/24 06:41 PM |
| 14 | What would actually make a positive change for you men?it might be like finding a needle in the gaystack at first Not sure if intentional, but hilarious typo | /r/PurplePillDebate | 19/12/24 08:44 PM |
| 1 | In your experience, are women on Reddit representative of women in real life? If so, what motivates you to still participate in dating?I suspect the 'silent majority' who are representative of 'real-life' people would not comment much. Most people lurk and are seldom too non-partisan/radical/extreme to put effort into commenting. They would also be browsing pics or funny, not a niche sub like this one despite it having like 200k users. Regarding my demographic, I'm 35, married, living in a big city, working a corporate desk job in a legal-adjacent function. I feel pretty 'normal' and yeah, outside of this sub (which my wife thi… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 16/12/24 08:40 PM |
| 4 | If you were a billionaire, would you still pursue a romantic relationship/marriage? Why/why not?I mean, it's basically what Hugh did in real life lol. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 14/12/24 05:29 AM |
| 4 | Many Men Struggle in Dating because they are Not Very Interesting.I think this is somewhat blurred by modernity, where entertainment is so cheap and easy that being 'interesting' can be on a back-burner for men relative to other qualities (though seemingly less so for women). Like, the average American spends over 6 hours a day on a screen. They can self-entertain to the point where staving boredom via another person being interesting to interact with is less of a need or high want and more of a nice-to-have. I think this has other ramifications too, in that w… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 12/12/24 07:43 AM |
| 4 | How do you feel about the average person?Probably not, but then again, most average people probably also think they’re above average, just like how most people think they’re smarter than average. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 02/12/24 11:42 PM |
| 14 | Why is Autism basically a contraceptive for men?Do people have an inbuilt neurodivergence radar that goes haywire when it detects someone who isn't quite on the normative spectrum? Not specifically, just your standard reaction to someone who is 'off' in some way. More than half of our communication is nonverbal, and unfortunately, neurodivergence can interfere with that portion. I've seen normie guys - not even very attractive ones - get away with murder (straight up insulting women, saying racist horseshit) while it feels like neurodivergent… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/11/24 05:07 AM |
| 3 | How socially privileged are you?I’d be interested in a survey where people indicate not just overall scores but which ones they say yes or no to. Some of these are probably much more common than others, treating them all as +/-1 pt can be reductive. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 19/11/24 02:20 PM |
| 10 | For average men, getting a female partner mostly comes down to luck, everything else is insignificant.Luck is just chance that’s favorable to the perceiver. Me losing $100 while walking down the block is unlucky to me. You finding my $100 is lucky to you. But if neither of us never left the home that day, then chance of being lucky/unlucky doesn’t apply. Can’t be lucky without taking chances then. Sure, no risk of being unlucky either, and I think that’s why it freezes some people. Most of us are more risk-adverse (avoiding bad luck) than opportunistic (risk the bad luck to get the good luck). S… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 19/11/24 09:35 AM |
| 1 | Women Will Be Sexy For Money, Attention But Not For LTR LoveRelationships can be strange like that, you can be attracted to someone at a deeper level, but at the same time acknowledge they are no longer at their physical prime. Though to your point, I think we all benchmark mentally what we consider too much letting go, and it's usually relative to our own experiences and what we saw growing up. I'm 10 lbs heavier now than 10-15 years ago, and my waist has gone up 2" so I can no longer fit in my undergrad clothes. To me personally, that's a minor tragedy… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 09/11/24 10:44 PM |
| – | Wanting left winged groups to win requires more support to menI’ve been harping on the economy line forever. Nobody cares about social issues if they feel like they have no shot at feeding themselves and keeping a roof over their heads. Societies are progressive when they can afford to be, and more traditional and regressive if they feel like their way of life is being threatened. This is why I think there’s been a right-shift in politics across the world. And to your point, we’re all being looted for parts while the top 100 families have more wealth than … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 07/11/24 08:21 PM |
| 1 | Men only want casual sexCommenting so I can pop in later to see if the sub's rules are enforced. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 07/11/24 07:52 AM |
| – | Women can't complain that men voted for Trump, men are just sticking up for themselvesI'm assuming there must have been huge swaths of women voting for the Republican candidate also. There was. Women voted 53-45 Harris vs. Trump. Almost 50/50 split. And among white women, it was over 50% that voted Trump. Any narrative about this being a male-only phenomenon simply fails the stat check. We can argue why the voters cast their votes that way, but it's in no way driven by men alone (who did favor Trump vs. Harris 55-42). | /r/PurplePillDebate | 07/11/24 07:40 AM |
| 2 | q4w: what is a skill that you learned that makes you insanely hot?Probably referring to these. Tbf, a good lemon square/bar can win hearts and minds. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 07/11/24 05:31 AM |
| – | Feminist hate and lies helped Trump to winI don't know why they don't do some simple things to show they actually care about men. They would not lose any support from their current constituents, and they have a whole hell of a lot to gain. I was talking to some friends about this. The purity testing and provocative language (mostly for shock/meme value) will eventually attract true believers, who in turn disenfranchises everyone else. When your core message to the base voters is 'the future is female', you're not going to convince the d… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 06/11/24 09:54 PM |
| – | Feminist hate and lies helped Trump to winMost people perceived 2016-2019 as very good economically. Tbf, it was a very good economy. We had a bull market juiced further by low interest rates, unemployment was low, we were about a decade out from the memories of the Great Recession, so people can compare back and say yeah things have gotten better. Covid might have happened at the tail end of Trump's tenure, but the recovery out of it during Biden's presidency was rocky at best, and certainly the inflation experienced really rocked most… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 06/11/24 09:43 PM |
| – | Feminist hate and lies helped Trump to winFlipping Michigan / Wisconsin / Pennsylvania is what matters for the EC. All states which broke for Trump over Harris because of what OP quoted, things related to the economy like being seen as the pro-labor (even if perception isn't matched to reality). To your other points, Harris lost a ton of ground in safe states as well. NY and CA both slipped 4-5% from Biden in 2020, that should be a canary in the coal mine. Can't expect to win battleground states when even your own safe-base starts to fl… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 06/11/24 09:20 PM |
| – | Feminist hate and lies helped Trump to winI think they will learn actually. It took a long time, but they learned to stop talking about 2nd-amendment-related issues, but this past election didn't really have much about it. The issue now that has become clear is that Dems are not seen as a party for working-class anymore. The most dominant mainstream voices of the party are perceived as elitist or west/east coasters who are only interested in pushing academic/book-values (right or wrong). Where you see Dem governors win, they were able t… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 06/11/24 09:13 PM |
| 1 | Women shouldn’t complain about the current dating/relationship/sexual landscape when this is everything they wantedProbably not going to happen, govt. doesn't want to pay. Then again, I don't think most expected Trump to win again, and he did, so who knows. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 06/11/24 09:05 PM |
| – | Do you know who your dating Ally is?lmao | /r/PurplePillDebate | 06/11/24 08:58 PM |
| – | Feminist hate and lies helped Trump to winLooks like she'll lose the popular vote even, so can't even blame it on the EC this time. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 06/11/24 08:47 PM |
| – | Feminist hate and lies helped Trump to winBiden ran on being a one-term, bridge President. I think many people in 2020 who wanted a break from Trump, even Republicans, split their ticket to vote for him. Clearly, there was no way Harris could have brought those voters back. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 06/11/24 06:39 PM |
| 4 | Women can't have it all..What if I'm really handy in the kitchen and can take care of all the spider-bros that find their way into the home? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 04/11/24 06:21 PM |
| 11 | Women can't have it all..Dang we're up to 18-figures now? I can't even break 7, clearly I am a low-totem guy. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 04/11/24 06:15 PM |
| 4 | The reason there's not much support for men's rights (and there won't be)large swaths of jobs and markets become heavily automated Automation is sort of a strange beast. It does take away from many jobs, but it also creates many jobs, at least in my sphere (corporate/legal). Like, we probably needed a dozen admins to run things back in the day that now only require 2-3 because tech has made it much easier/accurate/etc. But, we have a dozen more obligations now than we used to since the ease of doing things mean increased oversight/monitoring/maintenance, thus creatin… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 04/11/24 05:19 PM |
| 6 | AI gfs could change everythingI wish you the best. On the off-chance you happen to live near Chicago, I'd get you a beer and lend an open ear. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 02/11/24 01:25 AM |
| 6 | Q4W: would you like being apporached in a bar when you are with your girl friends for a night out? If so, how?I have some hypotheses on that actually. I think it’s a combination of some inexperienced men having more anxiety about the process so they try to streamline it as much as possible. Meaning they cut out the rapport building step that ironically might increase the odds of success to begin with. Another contingent is trying to play numbers so they spend as little time as they can per approach. The odds are low of course, but across enough tries it’ll work on occasion. A third camp is made of peopl… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 01/11/24 08:29 PM |
| 2 | Curious what women view as "good guys"Both are good, but for different phases of the ‘ship. A suit and a polished (if embellished) resume gets you to and through the interview. Competence and/or pleasantness keeps the job. And just like the job market, I do think there’s a cadre of people who have the skill/temperament to keep a job, but they fail to get past the first hurdle for any number of reasons. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 01/11/24 08:13 PM |
| 4 | q4a: is sex a need?These questions of need are fascinating to me because the floor for true needs are pretty low. Like, I could theoretically feed someone pemmican and flavorless granola indefinitely and they’d survive on it, but…they’d find negative joy out of eating. Similarly, you could technically survive on drinking dirty water, but you’d not be thriving. Still, technically speaking, need was met. Similarly, living in a shack made from a few industry metal sheets and straws is still shelter, but it would be m… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 01/11/24 06:02 PM |
| 3 | Is marriage worth it? How many marriages are actually happy and how many suck in your experience/circles? Why are most people pursuing this goal?Is marriage worth it? Depends on the person, but for most of us a good marriage is definitely worth it. How many marriages are actually happy and how many suck in your experience/circles? Most of them are good in my circles, and between my group of 6 best bros, we are quite close and keep tabs on how each other is doing on a nigh-weekly basis. Extending from them, I'd say the majority of the ones I know of are doing okay-to-good, though there were some divorces recently in the larger circle. Why… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 28/10/24 07:59 PM |
| 2 | Just have funI really respect that you are willing to hear and consider feedback. Wishing you the best, stranger. I hope you find that good relationship to learn from and grow with. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 28/10/24 07:46 PM |
| 1 | Just have funThe difference with the beautiful is they seem to experience and sort out more darkness in the world, their beauty mainly only gives them access to the type of fun you see on instagram, being pretty solves a very limited scope of life’s problems. Seems more like a curse to me to be a hot woman, it appears to works out well for a small percentage so people have envy of them. It definitely does not work out for someone who's more naive/lacks boundaries. One of my exes was like that: I've often tho… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 28/10/24 07:37 PM |
| 2 | Just have funI'll add that it's okay if someone thinks the other person needs more than they can provide - it just means they're incompatible if the gap can't be closed. Not everyone is meant for everyone: what's needy to one person is just baseline level of love/support for another. That said, it's worth reflecting on and examining if you find yourself constantly mismatched with others. Wife and I had some of those issues earlier on, and honestly I'm really glad we did our premarital counseling. These issue… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 28/10/24 07:30 PM |
| 4 | Fat chicksFast food is becoming too pricey in the US. So ironically, we might slim down a bit long term. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 28/10/24 05:33 PM |
| – | Do we have to pin women down to a science.It is true that your sexual desirability is overwhelmingly connected to your superficial features, but even within those (often phrased hyperbolic by BP) limitations there’s still stuff you can do to connect to people and experience romance. Yeah, it's the difference between success is dictated by X vs. success is only dictated by X. You see this in discussions about intelligence too. Actual research on intelligence has settled a lot of things people are still uncomfortable about. But almost eve… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 25/10/24 08:01 PM |
| 1 | If you had the option to get plastic surgery at little to no cost would you?I have mixed feelings about it. Height in men is linked with some life outcomes like career earnings. Taller men tend to end up in higher-paying roles. CEOs for example are predominantly over 6 feet tall, with most exceptions being founders of their own company. So if someone offers you a treatment to resolve that, I can see why some might opt into it. Height does matter for women as well, but far less so. At 5'6" you're below average in the US, but still taller than most women. I think once a g… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 25/10/24 07:02 PM |
| 1 | If you had the option to get plastic surgery at little to no cost would you?It takes about half a year per inch I think and there's a max amount that you can safely do. So seeing people in crutches is normal since most people do the surgery only once and have to sit out for 1-2 years to get their desired height. I don't think most people can afford the recovery time and not being mobile for that long though. I get real antsy after like a week of bed rest lol, having to hobble on crutches for a year straight or longer sounds absolutely miserable. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 25/10/24 06:56 PM |
| 3 | If you had the option to get plastic surgery at little to no cost would you?"Safe" is relative, but leg lengthening surgery is pretty advanced these days. It's got issues of course, e.g. requires lots of time and you are unlikely to ever be a real athlete again, but it's certainly worthwhile for some. Like you, I'm around 5'3" so I get the allure, and were conditions in life a bit different I probably would have thought hard about it. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 25/10/24 08:06 AM |
| 3 | Women should be taught that they too can find joy in providing for their partner.If I recall, you're part of an older generation. I wonder if perceptions will change, now that younger women are starting to out-earn men (on average) in some urban areas. Many of the corporate women I've worked with make more than their husbands, some by several multipliers. The dudes aren't exactly chadly, as the internet seems to think. The ones I've met though are typically fascinating men. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 24/10/24 06:13 PM |
| 3 | What are some things you envy about the other sex that are NOT commonly talked about?I do think it’s gotten progressively better. There’s a few more shades now that I can wear at work where people don’t start double-guessing my orientation. Also varies greatly from one company culture to another as well. I find that the more long-established companies with more traditional cultures are resistant. The newer ones with younger leadership are a lot more lax. I legit some days go into the office with a gym shirt and jeans now, basically a “pretend I’m not important and don’t talk in … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 24/10/24 05:45 PM |
| 5 | What are some things you envy about the other sex that are NOT commonly talked about?Range of colors for work clothes. It's gotten better, but by and large men's color range for acceptable work colors are narrower. The number of accessories in general too. A more mixed-bag one is the allowance for passivity. I think society is more accepting of idle women than men. I wouldn't chalk this one up to envy, only that it has some advantages and disadvantages depending on your tendencies. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 24/10/24 04:34 PM |
| 1 | "Preselection" is one of the dumbest things i've ever heard.See: being the token GBF. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 23/10/24 06:00 PM |
| 2 | Do women on here understand why men don't like being seen as the "safe" option?Ah, that niceness being performative is definitely a thing. I think us Americans are just sort of used to it. It probably does come off as unnerving since it’s sort of a mask regardless of how they’re actually feeling. Like, if your server overseas is having a bad day, you can tell and so long as they’re not ruining your meal experience it’s whatever. Here, servers sort of roleplay and your time with them is about your experience. All of this is of course a generalization - the price point makes… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 21/10/24 04:18 AM |
| 5 | Do women on here understand why men don't like being seen as the "safe" option?Was this at a Hooters or similar kind of place? Definitely not a typical experience lol. Tips are 'expected' basically unless the service was awful, so any jiggling you experienced would have been incidental, unless the place markets for that kind of experience (they're sort of dying off). | /r/PurplePillDebate | 21/10/24 04:08 AM |
| 2 | Women uphold “toxic masculinity” more than men doThat's basically like the only context I can think of the exception actually. If you weren't overtly religious, being a mixed-race pairing was usually too novel/exotic/different for a more traditional/conservative Caucasian woman. This was just my observation/experience 10-20 years ago, things might have been more relaxed since. I did see a few Asian man/white woman, but those were from more liberal circles. Predominantly, I saw white men/Asian women pairings when it come up, both liberal and co… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 21/10/24 03:35 AM |
| 5 | Women uphold “toxic masculinity” more than men doSpeaking as a fellow Asian (I remembered you mentioning you were Asian somewhere else), I've found the conservative dating scene really tough for Asian men (though not Asian women). At least, that was the case 10ish years ago during my prime 20s dating window for midwest US. Times may have changed, but at least that was my experience. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 19/10/24 10:54 PM |
| 4 | CMV: Nice guys don't finish lastErgo, nice is at best a rider-on, and focusing on ways to being attractive will have the most mileage (not just physical qualities, but of course it’s a big part of the attractive equation). | /r/PurplePillDebate | 19/10/24 05:26 PM |
| 5 | 50/50 maybe fair, but it doesn't feel fair which is why it doesn't tend to workThere's a book written just on this topic actually, the 80/80 Marriage, that discusses in the early chapters about the pitfalls of a 50/50 model. The word fairness comes up often because when you dictate that it has to be evenly split, you inevitably see each other in a somewhat oppositional way because every percent one of you skirt falls into the other person's load. And perspectives differ on what counts as part of the 50/50, even for couples who communicate extremely well, let alone for a ty… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 16/10/24 03:17 PM |
| 60 | If you're not making $100k or more looks don't matter as much as you think.Based on how you described it, I would say you're right - you are probably not in demographic that women her age/looks would go after, unless you were killing it at karaoke and drawing looks from talent, or a total silver fox. She was basically checking to see if you got any sugar. So of course the amount of sugar you have mattered. When she found out you only had Splenda, she pivoted. I don't think then that your experience is sufficient evidence for the thesis. Hot broke men get with women all… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 14/10/24 09:58 PM |
| 3 | A root cause of the issues in dating today is that dating advice is not balanced for pro-social menResearch on confirmation bias would suggest that, yes. People tend to agree with things they already agree with, and discount/ignore/push back on what they don't. I think we see it here even in this sub. If I give the generic RP trio of looks, game, status, the ones who are black-pilled ignore the last 2, the ones who are blue might overlook 1 and 3, and a dude who looks like a gremlin but is a famous singer ignores all but 3. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 12/10/24 04:40 AM |
| 3 | A root cause of the issues in dating today is that dating advice is not balanced for pro-social menOne needs a mentor. Ideally, a mentor who resembles the self as much as possible but is successful, so the comparative lessons can be close. I'm a short minority guy for example, so a successful, tall Caucasian guy would not be an effective mentor, no matter how well-meaning he might be. I'm not saying it's easy to find one. Mentors are rare, but sort of like how in the working world networking is the route to find one, in the social world you have to sort of befriend a bunch of people and get s… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 12/10/24 04:30 AM |
| 2 | Redpill's agenda is all about rewiring nice guys to stop being the safety net for womenSome possible reasons: There’s an element there that’s not just money = sex. At the very least, there’s an illusion of it. Local women might actually prefer them to local guys. I’m thinking places that are super traditional or casually sexist such that a ‘subpar’ westerner might still hold enough modernist views that he’s preferable to a traditional local man. Some people really feel out of place in their own local cultures. My theory on this personal and anecdotal, but I find that a lot of men … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 10/10/24 10:51 PM |
| 2 | Men being stay at home dadsIs this something you want in your relationship? Not immediately, but not opposed if it makes sense financially. Have you achieved it? Nope. Can't afford. If not why not? See above. What would it take for you to be a stay at home dad? A spouse that makes both of our salaries combined at minimum, with trajectory to make more to account for inflation/future children, and a robust update to our prenup that ensures I won't be left on the streets if things go south. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 09/10/24 06:34 PM |
| 5 | A case study into AITA’s gender bias (favouring women) and how it aligns with TBPThis jives with my general experience. People gained a few pounds, but was also quick to shed most of it once outdoor activities resumed. I mean, I did the same lol, started drinking like 2-3 beers a night (yay liquid carbs) because why not. Told myself I had 3 months to 'fall apart' because I didn't have to be physically presentable at work and when things started calming down I got back on track to fit into my work clothes again. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 04/10/24 07:52 PM |
| 29 | If the problem with "nice guys" is their personality, why don't they struggle to make friends, both male and female?I think even with the nice guy vs. 'nice guy' distinction, niceness in itself is just not broadly attractive in a romantic sense. There are of course a few who totally are into nice people, but for the vast majority of us, more niceness doesn't hurt but it doesn't really help either. It's more effective to cultivate interesting than nice, if you're already about average when it comes to niceness. Being a jerk might get you screened out, but being a saint won't screen you in. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 01/10/24 07:15 PM |
| 20 | Women who are open to being approached, how exactly would you like a guy to go about it?I think the adage generally holds: if someone is potentially interested in you, almost anything will work (within reason). If someone is not interested in you, almost nothing will work. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 30/09/24 04:36 AM |
| 3 | How do you guys stay positive and avoid things like insecurity and self-esteem issues in the face of rejection?I grew up in a small-ish Midwest town, where I was 'popular' but got very little dating action because most people were not into my demographic. I moved to Chicago for grad school, and it wasn't immediate, but my dating prospect "skyrocketed." Location, as someone else says, does matter. The values you exude may very well be a mismatch for the community that you're in. Small city life isn't really for me, so it's both I'm uncomfortable and others when looking to date sees me as not fitting with … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/09/24 04:48 PM |
| 22 | As a man with mental illness, you are worse off in the current datingmarket then a woman with the same issues.I wanted to make some jokes, but I'm glad that in-person MTG is taking off again. At its best, MTG gave me some great friendships and memories over the years. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/09/24 04:23 PM |
| – | The fight for Equality has become a weapon to sideline most men"Nobody wants to work anymore" is really just "Nobody wants to pay us reasonable wages anymore, and we don't want to work for peanuts''. Or even if they are paying relatively 'okay', inflation has made it so the higher amount on paper doesn't actually translate to a quality standard of living. McDonalds and Starbucks in my city pays $18/hr, for example, but a 1BR apartment is $1500/month. So assuming you work 40 hrs/wk at that rate and you pay 0% taxes (lol), that's roughly $3k you take home. So… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 23/09/24 06:09 PM |
| 11 | When women tell men "you need to vet better" what are these men realistically supposed to even be doing different?Bro, being called names on the internet by people, most of whom you would not even acknowledge at all in person, is about as meaningless as it gets. Everyone, from the genius to the village idiot, can pose an opinion on the internet, just like everyone's got some financial advice for you in real life once you smell even vaguely like you have a couple grand to your name. I wouldn't trust most people with $500, would you? Treat anonymous 'advice' online the same way. Take what makes sense and disc… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 23/09/24 05:26 PM |
| – | The fight for Equality has become a weapon to sideline most menAnecdotal, but I see this play out fairly often between my two social circles. The middle class guys seem to struggle way more in dating when they have emphasis on meeting women of 'comparable stats.' The poorer guys seem to date just fine, because they date other poor women, and there's more of them in general than the middle class. Heck, my bro was briefly homeless for like 6 months, but he's gotten like 5 g/fs before meeting his now likely future wife lol. And no he's not some Chad, he was li… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 23/09/24 03:26 PM |
| 2 | CMV: Dating is being ruined with entitled peopleIt's a play on the question "what do you bring to the table?" question that some online personalities have been asking. The response is "I am the table." Some people interpret that as entitlement, i.e. a lack of critical self-examination as to what you might contribute to a relationship. While that might be true, at least for some, I think the response in itself is more of a dismissal of the question and the premise. Unless someone is a real prince/princess, everybody brings something to the tab… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 23/09/24 03:12 PM |
| 3 | Will this be the next tech revolution in the dating market for men?Got my first taste of that this weekend. Asked for a few citations to a topic I was researching, it gave me a legitimate looking APA citation to a paper that doesn't exist, but on paper would have sounded great for my write-up. Very sad noises. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 23/09/24 03:05 PM |
| 1 | Widespread internet usage killed romance, not feminism or the economyZ? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 17/09/24 05:55 PM |
| 6 | Where to find green flag peopleIn college, and specifically in programs that are majority women like psychology. I think I was like 1 of 4 guys in a class of 25 at one point? Language classes were also good. But I might hear that you think those classes are jokes, or that higher ed is a joke. Well then, the service industry is full of men and women who date each other. At my old grocery job, a new relationship formed and broke every other weekend. But then again, it depends on who you are and what you'd consider a green flag … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 13/09/24 09:42 PM |
| 4 | My guy friend told me it’s more common for men to be hooking up with the same woman, is this true?Seems like the responses are almost universal, but I'll chip in: the only common-ish context that somewhat resembles what you're saying is that when I used to work in service jobs, everyone dated everyone. So someone I went on a date with or fooled around with for a while, I know she used to date so-and-so before me, and during stretches where we don't hang out she was probably fooling with someone else. Outside of that, group activities like you're describing, I'm not privy to. And I don't thin… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 13/09/24 09:28 PM |
| 3 | Q4W: What, according to you, can a man do, so he can become the kind of stereotypical bad boy that women lust after ?or if they are in a relationship I mean, people who struggle with this dynamic are probably not getting into relationships regularly or at all lol. But yes, I advocate for trial-and-error practice makes perfect. I've done my share of being awkward and weird. The first step towards being sorta good at something is to be really bad at it. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 13/09/24 09:19 PM |
| 10 | Q4W: What, according to you, can a man do, so he can become the kind of stereotypical bad boy that women lust after ?It's like most things: there's a thin line where it crosses from being thrilling to provoking a primal unease. Like eye contact: attentive eye contact with a hint of mischief is extremely attractive. But even so, at some point, extensively prolonged eye contact starts to get unnerving. And the amount varies between the person sending as well as the person receiving too. I have soft features and am physically smaller so I radiate less danger. I can get away with a little bit more, and indeed, hav… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 13/09/24 07:19 PM |
| 4 | Blue pillers and Red pillers agree on somethings, one of which is "The guy has to wait his turn"Yep. At some point enough things clicked that dating became easier in my late 20s. "Dating" was easier in my early-to-mid-20s, but the flake-out rate was much higher. Late-20s and beyond the experience is much more streamlined and intentional for both parties. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 13/09/24 04:00 PM |
| 3 | CMV: SAHMs should always have an exit planNo idea really, we all sort of distanced ourselves from her over time. I'm close to the guy so I keep up with his life, but if I had to guess she probably moved on and is now married to someone else. Their relationship lasted about 2 years, so in the grand scheme of things it's just a blip. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 12/09/24 06:52 PM |
| 9 | CMV: SAHMs should always have an exit planSeen it happen and wasn’t pretty for anyone involved. (Except for the single guy I’d imagine. He achieved his goal) Happened to someone I was close to. He and his fiance weren't perhaps a great coupling ultimately, but the outside dude has a known rep for trying to get with other people's partners. He drove a wedge between the couple so they broke things off, he swooped in and 'it just happened', got what he wanted, and then bailed not too long after. Good outcome in the end for the other guy th… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 12/09/24 04:22 PM |
| 3 | How are women able to walk away from a guy so easily?Fiance and I had a similar experience where I got us tickets to see Hamilton and she was mellow about it when I told her (despite saying she wanted to see it). I found out later she was mulling about an important lifestyle decision that could have broken us up, so any talks of some future event caused her to withdraw. Not enough details to know for certain, but from my experiences, if it's a sudden change (like if you two were joking and stuff and then it became quiet suddenly), then something's… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 11/09/24 05:56 PM |
| 1 | 5 dating app tweaks you won't believe!Guess I'm just not convinced based on my own experiences with survey research, but we can call it a civil disagreement. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 10/09/24 07:38 PM |
| 1 | 5 dating app tweaks you won't believe!How did you arrive at this conclusion? These tweaks don't presume or require that. Because the 'market' is not static. Your tweaks don't require it, but it only works if there's not an imbalance. It's akin to the job or housing market, if things are imbalanced, the imbalance will derail the process. People need places to live for example, and will live for crappy landlords out of necessity if there's a housing shortage. Leaving bad reviews only help those who have the means to choose. That's not… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 10/09/24 07:02 PM |
| 1 | 5 dating app tweaks you won't believe!It's why they introduce friction in gym membership cancellations. Not because it's impossible to overcome, but at scale it nudges people in a specific direction. The amount of friction with gym membership is muchhhh higher, and has an actual financial impact if not cancelled. People can simply stop using the app the moment it doesn't pay off to leave a departure notice. With the explosion in anxiety these days where people cancel their first dates last minute, I don't think forcing them to leave… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 10/09/24 06:51 PM |
| 1 | 5 dating app tweaks you won't believe!The extra work isn't in conversation. People do that anyways. It's in putting a requirement to walk away from a conversation, which most people will not accept and would just not start the conversations to begin with. Most of the tweaks I'm making are around displaying information about how you behave on these apps. So that others can evaluate your behavior and make a determination as to whether or not they want to match with you. This requires users to have a fairly balanced desire between both… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 10/09/24 06:17 AM |
| 1 | 5 dating app tweaks you won't believe!I disagree. The friction is easily resolved by writing something benign and non-offensive like 'nice guy but just not really my type.' It's basically what those rejection template letters from job applications are. People recognize them after a while and it means nothing. Bad feedback is worse than no feedback. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 10/09/24 06:08 AM |
| 29 | Men of reddit would you have a problem if your girlfriend was a Cuckquean?I'd seriously question (and probably out of concern) where it's coming from because that would be 100% out of left field, given literally everything I know about my partner. But even if that all passes the vibe test, I'd probably not be interested, because I don't enjoy talking down my partner. If she insisted that this is what fulfills her, then I'm not going to be the right guy. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 09/09/24 08:31 PM |
| 9 | Women will talk about male "Locker room talk" then go on to write a novel about their sex life to their friendsI think such detailed discussions are rather a thing of some low class people. Idk if it's class, more so a subculture. The poor Asian families I grew up with were modest about those kind of convos the same way as the working class whites or Hispanic friends I had. But within the classes, it felt like some circles indulged heavily. The dudebros for instance are the primary offenders (not necessarily jocks, since I knew many respectful jocks and many brash nerds), just as the brash women who prov… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 09/09/24 08:25 PM |
| 1 | 5 dating app tweaks you won't believe!It is an attempt to make the unmatcher think about the person on the other end I don't think that's how it's historically lined up. People would just say seemingly weird things like Kaka's wife saying she divorced him because he was too perfect. We can infer what's meant by that, but it doesn't ultimately add anything to the process. This is an issue with all new accounts. I'd argue it also applies to accounts that have almost no traction. Just like there are people who apply for hundreds of job… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 09/09/24 04:30 PM |
| 1 | 5 dating app tweaks you won't believe!I think you’d weed out the ones who are there to do simple browsing, but you’ll also eliminate most people who are serious enough to do some amount of work but not the kind asked of the OP’s suggested tweaks list. It’s like if all software actually required people to read and understand the EULA, most software wouldn’t get used. Barriers to entry is a real concern, though the balance is you’d get people who enter to window shop with light commitment to purchasing. Companies have long erred on wi… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 09/09/24 03:06 PM |
| 4 | Luck plays a much larger role in dating success than most people like to admitSome people are idiots too, I just don't try to pay too much heed to them. For the sake of needing to disagree, I would contend that luck is a nebulous concept in most people's minds. So it can sound like we dismiss effort when luck is invoked. There is something to be said that if your odds of success is like 5%, then the best way to succeed is to either modify the odds or to play volume and make the eventual 5% pay off. Volume approach does take effort, and potentially tremendous amounts of re… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 09/09/24 06:12 AM |
| 6 | 5 dating app tweaks you won't believe!See below, though a summed-up sentiment: it will feel even more like work than it already is (to some/most). I have no doubt some people will do the work and potentially get more out of it. Most people probably won't. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 09/09/24 06:02 AM |
| 5 | 5 dating app tweaks you won't believe!On a more serious note, thoughts on each of your thing: Tweak 1. MatchCap - After 5 matches, no more swiping. Unmatch to someone continue. Pretty okay with this actually. Tweak 2 - NoGhost - You can't unmatch without leaving some feedback (min word count, AI checks for gibberish, etc). The person who you have unmatched is notified and can also leave YOU feedback. Probably deplete the userbase from this change alone. People don't usually leave comments on...anything. Specifically on dating, you'r… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 09/09/24 05:59 AM |
| 24 | 5 dating app tweaks you won't believe!Sounds like app usage would drop precipitously, and people will go back to having anxiety about approaching in public again. Everybody...wins? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 09/09/24 05:53 AM |
| 2 | What if we could reinvent Dating Apps?I think it should be more based around personality-wise and very basic physical preference like race or age. Matching via personality and preferences was already a thing back in the day. OKCupid for example gave you almost every personality survey/preference questions under heaven. It quickly went the way of the dodo bird once looks-based apps took over because that's unfortunately what people responded to. So much so that OKCupid now follows the same swipe style (but that's also because they're… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 05/09/24 08:55 PM |
| 7 | A lot of men who are chronically single get immediately rejected, not ghosted after they showed their characterPersonal experience speaking, I'd amend that to a given person doesn't need to be a more good person than average. You do get penalized for being a bad person (by some, not all of course would agree that a certain behavior is 'bad'), but the returns are extremely diminishing for being a 'good' person once you're at least a reasonably average 'good' person. I have some theories as to why, but ultimately the outcome is the same: invest in being a good person if you aren't already one, but after hi… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 05/09/24 05:26 PM |
| – | Dating is hardest for straight menI think everyone does accept it but when these men ask how they can change their situation the only answer is get better. I don't think everyone accepts it though. There's a casual indifference and sometimes outright denial. It has the same energy as me, a minority, saying that I've been sensing/seeing a resurgence in racism towards Asians post-covid, and while some to most might say that sounds about right, plenty disagree. Or they pivot to other groups experiencing racism and say 'well everyon… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 04/09/24 06:00 PM |
| – | Dating is hardest for straight menA little acknowledgement goes a long way for some people. When the fiancé complains to me about her terrible coworkers, it's not like she's looking for solutions out of me (and in fact, she has many times reminded me that solutions are not what's needed). She just wants to be validated that her frustrations are valid feelings to have. Even if I don't always agree, so be it - it's not 'real' to me, but in the moment it's very real to her reality. Personally, I'd prefer more-often-than-not the 'to… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 04/09/24 05:51 PM |
| – | "Learning to read the room" is a way for women to retain plausible deniability on their partWhat do you think is the appropriate window of time then for a guy to make a move? There's no preset timeline. I've gotten physically involved on date 1, "date" 1, and sometimes not until like 1 month in. Just like there's shy men, outgoing men, forward men and reserved men, you're going to have a range of expectations for women too. The only consistency I've seen is even if you don't make a move, you have to demonstrate unambiguous interest that you'd do so if she reciprocates interest. Playing… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 31/08/24 08:47 PM |
| 25 | More women need to practice what they preach when it comes to sex and datingWhen women complain about their dating/sex life trials and tribulations people commiserate and remind her that she just needs to meet a decent guy - when men complain they're almost always told to stop the self pity and to work on bettering themselves. I go back and forth on this one. On the one hand, getting validation when you're feeling down on your dating experience is nice, but not really all that helpful. It's like taking a nap, feels great and pleasant but you wake up, a couple hours went… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 31/08/24 05:39 AM |
| 5 | Question for women: Have you tried making a fake dating profile as a man to see how it would go on tinder/bumble/any other dating service?I think you're saying they don't do much to remove the fake profiles, right? If so, I agree. Which means the ratio is even more skewed if we exclude these fake profiles/bots. There's one additional wrinkle too, which is usage pattern. I think most men use it in a 'fishing rod' style where they leave their profiles dangling and hope to get nibbles and checking in daily to do some swiping. So a man's profile is almost always active. The women I've spoken to use it in bursts, and are otherwise inac… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 29/08/24 06:22 PM |
| – | CMV: A man isn't obligated to step in and save a woman from being mugged or assaulted.It's statistically safer now than ever before (broadly speaking by the decades. There was an uptick during covid). But we have far more instances of it on news and media, so it seems way more common and worse. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 29/08/24 04:37 PM |
| 11 | Question for women: Have you tried making a fake dating profile as a man to see how it would go on tinder/bumble/any other dating service?Another 40% are probably bots or a scam. No model-looking woman is hitting me up on the apps because she's too shy lol. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 29/08/24 04:09 PM |
| 2 | Single People, Keep Other Single People Single.Game encompasses a lot of things, including the socializing element (in fact, it's not really possible to have game without being refined in socializing). Things like playful bantering, flirting, smooth talk, knowing how to crank up the heat in a receptive way, etc. are all part of game. In short, it's someone skilled at communicating or eliciting sexual chemistry. For example, a handsome but otherwise dry/dull man does not exude game - despite being a pleasant face to look at, women do not find… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 29/08/24 05:14 AM |
| 2 | If women are allowed to divorce their husbands for wanting paternity test, then this guy is justified in leaving his wife for wanting to look at his phoneSeems straightforward to me. Play stupid games, win stupid prizes. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 28/08/24 04:12 PM |
| – | Millenial/GenX advice on dating can be completely disregarded by the new generationWork relationships have dampened quite a bit in the past decade-ish. Not as much of a problem for entry-level service jobs (when I was stocking grocery shelves, everybody dated everybody), but certainly more taboo once you get into the professional world (stakes are higher, nobody wants to risk their well-paying jobs/careers). Big exception I saw was for jobs with more insular communities like nursing or academia, but otherwise, the only office couple I know of in my company of many thousands ar… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/08/24 08:46 PM |
| – | The problem with modern dating is that women are now in the driver seat but they don’t want to be thereIf we assume the restriction also applies to the men, the highly desirable men will probably hit their 5 picks quota 30 mins in and no longer be available/show up for matching. Most women would just stop using the app after making zero picks since they won't consider the remaining options sufficiently enticing. We are already seeing really lopsided gender ratios on the apps, and it'll just turn into even more of a sausage fest. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/08/24 04:16 AM |
| 9 | CMV: Having no friends is NOT a red flag, especially in the modern dayPlus I've seen multiple men talk about it online where they don't have any friends or only one friend, and they still have a loving marriage and kids and will talk to acquaintances at work. You're describing my stepdad. It works for a bit, but he's ultimately, from my vantage point, pretty lonely. Kids at some point will not spend much time with you (brother and I are now adults with our own families/lives). Acquaintances at work will disappear once you retire (he just did recently). When he and… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 26/08/24 04:47 PM |
| 10 | Why do women agree and then ghost?I'll add an increasingly emerging one that I've seen/heard as an explanation, anxiety about the upcoming social interaction. I've seen it appear in men and women, where they do truly have interest, but the anxiety/panic at the moment makes them fall through on the commitment. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 25/08/24 09:37 PM |
| 1 | Do you feel any male soliditary with male refugees/immigrants or view them as sexual competition/invaders?A lot of women never picture these immigrants living in their communities, they expect them to find a place somewhere else. They have luxury beliefs. Classic NIMBY. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 23/08/24 07:34 AM |
| – | Do you actually only find a tiny fraction of men attractive?Women always liked tall men, but I feel like people 30-45 ish didn’t fixate on it quite so much as young women do. I'd be curious if this changes significantly with the next generation, since they are so much more connected to the web. If we believe that media can shape preferences (which I think is a given), then young Gen Z'ers and those after them will have been heavily inundated with height as important. Almost like how 10-20ish years ago, the 'in' body types of women went from thin + flat b… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 21/08/24 04:16 AM |
| – | Why do women often prefer dad bods over six-packs?Midwest checking in. 'Natural' skinny is uncommon after the 20s. Most people are either fitness-shaped or round, with average trending towards the rounder side. We've collectively accepted that being average-leaning-to-rounder is the new normal it seems. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 20/08/24 08:11 PM |
| 27 | Most of what gives women the "ick" are just perceived shortcomings of masculinityEspecially online, I think people film themselves getting icks over anything just for the clicks. There was a video I watched where the woman said 'eww, ick' seeing a dude leaving Starbucks with a frappuccino. It's probably just clickbait, or if it's genuine, she has some serious growing up to do. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 20/08/24 03:51 PM |
| 11 | A real man wouldn't avoid single mothers when datingAs an extreme example I saw a tictoc where a single mom said that she sleeps with her ex to make sure he spends time with the kids and her boyfriend just needs to understand that she will do anything for her kids. That's some grade-A selection there on everyone's part. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 16/08/24 04:02 PM |
| 1 | CMV: Your wife is not your mommy. Wives should stop enabling husbands.I see. I can’t say your experience is less valid than mine, certainly by virtue of being in the office, nobody there is a stay-at-home parent, so I guess it’s just a narrower slice of the pie that I get to experience. I have not really seen the attitude/behavior linked to self-esteem from my vantage point, it’s almost always scarcity mindset, which is of course colored by my background and experiences. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 15/08/24 05:05 PM |
| 1 | CMV: Your wife is not your mommy. Wives should stop enabling husbands.I’m not in that SES now, but I grew up in it. Both my parents are first-gen immigrant factory workers, and we lived accordingly. One of my favorite meals growing up for example is sweet corn from the can, because that’s just what we can afford sometimes. It’s not unique to a certain SES as you said, but it’s certainly more prevalent if you grew up in a scarcity environment where reliance on someone else to make sure you’re taken cared of is bad. I see it with my ex roommate who grew up similarly… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 15/08/24 04:29 PM |
| 2 | CMV: Your wife is not your mommy. Wives should stop enabling husbands.Idk if low self-esteem per se, but this definitely feels like an overcorrection perhaps from upbringing/SES. I can see this dynamic being much more predominantly in some subcommunities of certain working-class neighborhoods, whereas it would be so completely foreign to my experiences growing up. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 15/08/24 07:06 AM |
| 4 | CMV: Your wife is not your mommy. Wives should stop enabling husbands.Honestly, bless the man who married the woman in the video. I can't imagine not cooking for my fiancé or only taking out the trash that I generated. This could be two good players, but doesn't appear to be much of a team summing up to beyond their parts. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 15/08/24 07:01 AM |
| 4 | Do you support no longer sending women to prison ?NYT has been bizarre to me of late. They were once held as one of the golden standards, and I suppose maybe some of their less clickbaity things still are. But maybe the golden age of journalism has passed, and the clickbait is the only way to keep the other bits alive. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 15/08/24 04:06 AM |
| 4 | What is the answer to wrongful rape convictions?It’s one of those dicey situations for sure. It feels restorative, but sufficiently punitive the confessor would just never fess up. It’s grossly unfair, but the situation itself was already a bad tragedy from the start. If you don’t offer the actual offender a lenient way out, they’ll just dig in. Reminds me of that adage about the tyrant king who punishes every military misconduct with death. The general was late to arrive with his troops due to weather and asked his lieutenant what the penalt… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 14/08/24 09:24 AM |
| 6 | Why "Marriage Material" isn't a compliment to men and being the "hookup guy" is often superiorIn 3, he's both attractive to her and a desirable long-term prospect. In 4, he's only a desirable long-term prospect, attraction not a factor. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 14/08/24 07:15 AM |
| 9 | Attending a rap concert was a humbling experience as an average guy.Yes, their brand and marketing is vast, we've established that. And as I also pointed out, a group of almost opposite in values-marketing can also get a massive groupie following. Whatever your values and 'good' there are almost certainly a tribe of people who will find their way to it. In a world of billions, there will almost certainly be thousands to millions. The question then falls back to: how do you find ways to market yourself in your local setting so that people self-select to you? If t… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 05/08/24 07:33 PM |
| 17 | Attending a rap concert was a humbling experience as an average guy.Honestly, if we could get more dudes to volunteer for prosocial activities, things would clean up a lot. All the volunteer stuff me and the fiance goes to are like 70-80% women. I'll even be honest and say were it not for her, I probably wouldn't have joined, but man, it's like a reverse gaming club night gender-wise. Women of all ages just looking to do some prosocial good. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 05/08/24 07:14 PM |
| 15 | Attending a rap concert was a humbling experience as an average guy.I don't want to knock on you, but this is an issue of self-selection, right? The thousands who went there wanted to experience those lyrics, and then of those thousands who attended, 10-15 choose to rush backstage to 'play cards and talk global politics.' So 10-15 women out of millions their age. You're going to find a similar experience among KPop boy bands singing about their Opa too, with women rushing backstage after. Those bands' lyrics are much less explicit and for some, almost on the pol… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 05/08/24 07:09 PM |
| 1 | The friendzone, as so many men see it, Does. Not. Exist.. Women almost immediately know if a guy is a total nope.Could also just be wishful thinking on both their parts. Him for thinking she'll change her mind once she gets to know him better, her for thinking he'll change his mind eventually if she feigns ignorance of his attempts. As people get older, they learn that being stern upfront is better than trying to wishy-wash around the topic. But among the younger (myself included back in the day), I think it's common to fall prey to the possibilities and tell yourself the best version possible. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 05/08/24 03:59 PM |
| 5 | Settling is not what you think it isI'd agree to the extent that people often want things that don't actually matter, and actually want things that they don't realize they wanted until they come across it. That doesn't mean the checklist isn't there, it's just less accessible because they haven't consciously realize it yet. For example, we know compatible humor is huge for relationships, but younger/less experienced daters might not know they're actually looking for it. So they wind up with people who seemingly have other boxes ch… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 01/08/24 07:41 PM |
| 2 | What Educational Reforms Would You Advocate for to Address Any Pill-Related Concerns/Problems?Education here can include things like apprenticeship, internships, etc. for those who want to pursue blue-collar work. The academic alternative was that advanced kids at my school used to be able to take college courses so they start college with extra credits and pay less overall. I don't remember the exact details, but some countries like Germany are already doing similar things. Basically you do aptitude tests throughout middle school to high school and after a few of these, there's a reason… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 30/07/24 06:45 PM |
| 2 | What Educational Reforms Would You Advocate for to Address Any Pill-Related Concerns/Problems?Critical thinking and statistics as part of the core curriculum. Assuming that we're working with limited time and something will have to be cut to prioritize something new, basic stats before higher maths would be one of my reform ideas. People deal with statistics and probability reasoning everyday. Most people do not need math beyond or even at the geometry level. Working with stats and learning to reason with it would go a long way towards people not being fooled by easily misleading stuff. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 30/07/24 06:25 PM |
| 3 | What Educational Reforms Would You Advocate for to Address Any Pill-Related Concerns/Problems?I don't remember where, but I saw that like 3/4ths of kids under 10 want to be a youtuber, influencer, or streamer. The 'hustle' has sort of overtaken their vision of what life would be like and how they can make it big and make millions by 18. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 30/07/24 06:18 PM |
| 2 | What are your views on lesbians being more likely to commit crime?he and I both picked the exact same hand 8 times, which has like a 1/6400 chance of occurring. Which is improbable for any one pair of players, but if 10k people played rock, paper, scissors that day, the odds of that happening is almost virtually certain. Same with lotteries, any one person has like a one-in-a-billion chance, but across the whole populace, eventually someone wins. If you're interested, this is actually a problem in both the general populace and the experts. We don't anticipate … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 29/07/24 09:07 PM |
| – | Women should get some slack for their decisions in their youthWe can’t decouple, no, but we also can’t change what we did either. The key is to see if they’ve behaved in ways that demonstrate growth and change since. I have dated people who insisted their past doesn’t matter, but it’s clear the same personality leading to their bad decisions is still there. Sure enough, it didn’t take long for them to regress once they left the circle of good influences (thinking specifically of my ex who is now a single mother of two and no father figure who stuck around … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 26/07/24 10:56 PM |
| 3 | Women here frequently and substantially misrepresent TRPI think it's also a giant dose of blackpill doomerism mixed in and masquerading itself as RP, so it stops making sense as a coherent whole. Contemporary RP also has that element of social media extremism in order to sell clicks. When I came across the OG RP like 20 years ago, it was mostly about learning pickup, seduction, and cultivating abundance. Whatever the defining ideology behind it all, the practical pieces were basically learn to spit game, look good, put effort into being interesting, … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 26/07/24 04:53 PM |
| 21 | Most women aren't complicated or mysterious, they're fickle, impulsive and poor communicatorsFickle, impulsive, and poor communicators describe most adults I know. It's only more noticeable than normal for dating because dating is a high-investment endeavor. Thus, it feels very personal, even when it's not. my blood is at boiling point now, and I feel like a clown. This tells me you've reached the point where dating is no longer fun. I promise you dating can be fun. But that's not where you are at, and it's a flag that a break might be necessary. Whenever I think I've met a cool person … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 26/07/24 04:37 AM |
| 3 | Would you agree that the wage gap between the genders is mostly due to women's own choices?The flexibility of reclaiming lost time to commute is by itself more than enough to justify our workforce continually moving in this direction long-term. Days where I hybrid, I can juggle so many additional things with that extra hour, including child/pet care. So many little ticky-tacky chores are surprisingly quick to do if you know you need to squeeze it into 30 minutes. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 23/07/24 06:27 PM |
| 5 | Why do women's empathy disappear when it comes to male children?Reminds me of the reddit comments I read from some thread a long time ago. There were parents who raised socially maldaptive children despite doing everything they could to model prosocial behaviors. The kids exhibited signs of sociopathy early on, and instead of learning 'good' from 'bad' despite all the coaching and parenting, they instead learn to mask their intentions. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 22/07/24 05:42 PM |
| 14 | American Men have Normalized dating multiple women to speed up the process of finding ‘the One’ but instead they use this as an excuse to waste time dating multiple (and perhaps getting laid by) women that aren’t even their typeGotta love the near-unanimous responses across the comments lol. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 22/07/24 04:41 AM |
| 2 | To RP men, here's why your mom, even if she gave dating advice, it won't work for youA one-in-thousand chance still means success to someone lol. Conversely, a 99% success rate means someone is the unlucky 1%. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 18/07/24 09:14 PM |
| 2 | Social skills determinism is not real, and there's zero evidence for it. When they aren't lying and claiming social skills don't matter for dating, doomer red pillers / black pillers seem to have recently latched on this new lie, as another way to trick guys into not improving their social skills.I think this is one of those cases where the net harm potential to most probably outweigh the minor benefits to the few. I do know of one colleague who homeschooled their children, but as a couple they're both highly educated, successful manager+ levels in corporate. Their kids are all well ahead of the curve in education. The other person who I used to be close with, she homeschools her children because she thinks public school is indoctrination. I have many positive words to describe her, but … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 18/07/24 06:15 PM |
| 3 | A guy has a reasonable chance to date a younger woman is he actively tries to, age gap relationships are nowhere near as unusual as the Blue Pillers here sayAnd if you compare the to the base divorce rates, they're batting at about the same rate (~40%). And that's just marriage/divorce, a ton more relationships as a percentage also fail before they even got to marriage. Relationships are messy in general, and a large number do not work out even when two people are seemingly compatible. Age gap can be an incompatibility factor, but the internet is way too obsessed with it as a symptom, and not look at all the typical root causes and judge based on th… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 18/07/24 06:02 PM |
| 1 | In the False Paternity Scenarios We've Been Discussing, What Would Be "Fair" Restorative Justice for the Deceived Partner?We still of course charge the guy - odds are good he just won't have anything to give. The kind of people who act this way tend to be impulsive and lack forward-thinking. They probably won't be working jobs where they can pay anything close to what is actually needed. You can collect garnished wages or anything else and there's no side-stepping of justice. From a practical point of view however, there's still a child to be paid for, and the bio-dad will likely not be able to cover both current c… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 18/07/24 03:50 PM |
| 1 | "Start holding other men accountable if you don't want us to feel this way"I guess the best way is to vote to end any welfare and social programs that goes to him, so he's not incentizived to do that. I don't generally find that these guys think that far ahead. There's a certain point of no return for them where it's better to just keep enjoying life one day or even one high at a time because there's no guarantee of the next one. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 18/07/24 04:30 AM |
| 1 | In the False Paternity Scenarios We've Been Discussing, What Would Be "Fair" Restorative Justice for the Deceived Partner?I do think intention matters, it's the difference first-degree and third-degree for example. We can agree however that it functionally doesn't matter when it comes child support, which they are accountable for in my view regardless (I was thinking of consequences beyond that in the blurb you quoted), but in legal philosophy intentionality is a core piece of context. Regarding your ETA, I don't think it matters, because guys who tend to have affairs with married women aren't going to be thinking … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 18/07/24 04:15 AM |
| 42 | It does feel like the Blue Pillers here are committed to making men feel like they're never the prizeGet this wholesome nonsense out of here. We can’t sustain a gender culture war on this kind of mutual respect and positive sentiments! | /r/PurplePillDebate | 17/07/24 08:16 PM |
| 2 | It does feel like the Blue Pillers here are committed to making men feel like they're never the prizeYou raised an interesting point. It sort of does feel like a psychological phenomenon where people feel compelled to take others down a notch. Problem is, when the blow doesn't land, it just further emboldens the target further. Using your age-gap relationships as an example, sure they're uncommon, but there's plenty enough out there that insisting younger people won't date someone older is just kinda silly. Yeah, most people date and marry someone close to them age-wise, but we also spend most … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 17/07/24 07:34 PM |
| 3 | "Start holding other men accountable if you don't want us to feel this way"I got tree fiddy. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 17/07/24 05:13 PM |
| 1 | "Start holding other men accountable if you don't want us to feel this way"they have zero qualms about testing their kids in order to quell their fears of cuckholdery. How would they test their kid if not by providing and comparing it to their own DNA sample? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 17/07/24 05:04 PM |
| 23 | Friends of perpetually single men often have a different perspective than perpetually single men themselvesI wonder if there's also a self-selecting component. In the case of it being mostly something physical (he's unattractive, he's massively overweight, he's really short, he's got a physical disability, etc.), people don't speak to it (perhaps out of pity). I know at least one man of each of those category, and in other respects I think they're alright-to-fine men. But all of them were/are still single because it's very silently obvious to me why a woman might not pick them. As an acquaintance, fr… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 17/07/24 04:58 PM |
| 17 | "Start holding other men accountable if you don't want us to feel this way"I'm hazarding a guess, based on the recent threads about paternity, that conservative men are probably more interested in DNA-based parentage than the average progressive. So I don't think it's hard to convince them at all. Conspiracy theorists are a different ballgame altogether, though I'd say that there's not enough of them to actually halt this if we wanted to move forward with it as a society. The most staunch conspiracy theorists I know still find their way to a hospital when home remedies… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 17/07/24 04:45 PM |
| 18 | "Start holding other men accountable if you don't want us to feel this way"Sounds like DNA testing at birth should be pretty beneficial to everyone and uncontroversial then, no? It's only the slightest hurdle to tack paternity matching into that. We already do all sorts of tests and screening for the child in utero anyways (some of which are already DNA screening for various markers of certain genetic conditions), one additional test would hardly matter. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 17/07/24 04:28 PM |
| 4 | "Start holding other men accountable if you don't want us to feel this way"Bro, I didn't see you at the male hivemind convention yesterday. Are you committing thoughtcrime? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 17/07/24 04:13 PM |
| 1 | In the False Paternity Scenarios We've Been Discussing, What Would Be "Fair" Restorative Justice for the Deceived Partner?Only if his intent was to impregnate her and pass off the kid though. If he was an accomplice or heck even the mastermind, then yeah, by all means tack on consequences. I don’t know many stray cats who come in with that intention though, they usually just want the sex. I also imagine how difficult it would be to prove said intent, though people do text wild shit to each other so it’s not impossible I suppose. I think we’re in agreement that clawing child support from them is 100% fine and expect… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 17/07/24 03:13 PM |
| 1 | In the False Paternity Scenarios We've Been Discussing, What Would Be "Fair" Restorative Justice for the Deceived Partner?consequences for the man who got her pregnant if it can be proved that he knew she was married at the time of conception. Assuming you mean being required to pay child support, I've seen quite a few comments advocating for the cheating partner to claw child support from the bio-father. I think this makes total sense. If you mean like social consequences, I'd be good with that too. If you mean like jail time, that I'm less sure of. He's not the one who made a vow to the marriage, and as a whole I… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 17/07/24 06:11 AM |
| 2 | In the False Paternity Scenarios We've Been Discussing, What Would Be "Fair" Restorative Justice for the Deceived Partner?On a parallel track, what should the punishment be for men who have extramarital children? You should start a thread on it, I'd be curious to know PPD as a whole's thinking on this. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 17/07/24 06:00 AM |
| 1 | In the False Paternity Scenarios We've Been Discussing, What Would Be "Fair" Restorative Justice for the Deceived Partner?I think topics just tend to come in waves because people build off of each other’s posts with variations. Eventually a different major topic will break through and the timer starts over. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 16/07/24 10:07 PM |
| 0 | In the False Paternity Scenarios We've Been Discussing, What Would Be "Fair" Restorative Justice for the Deceived Partner?This topic long preceded the bear on PPD. I'm just doing my part now in adding to the noise. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 16/07/24 09:49 PM |
| 9 | In the False Paternity Scenarios We've Been Discussing, What Would Be "Fair" Restorative Justice for the Deceived Partner?Guaranteed visitation rights with the child. This would encourage the man to maintain a relationship with the child if he wishes and would prevent the mother from holding the son hostage in an attempt to manipulate the man. This suggestion might be one of the more interesting ones I've seen yet. So far, people are focused on punitive damages, whereas this is more of an incentive to encourage men to "do the right thing" instead of social pressure/shaming. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 16/07/24 08:34 PM |
| 11 | Would you pay $2500 to join a dating service/app if all the women on there were thin, had a partner count under 10 and wanted marriage and kids?Ashley Madison 2, AI-Profiles Boogaloo | /r/PurplePillDebate | 16/07/24 04:21 PM |
| 2 | As a woman (and who will qualify as a liberal no less), I feel there are way too many posts here trying to guilt trip cuckolded men to bring up kids that are not theirs. I say I have to disagree with Blue Pill on this one.I don't think it's a matter of someone should be tricked: everyone is in agreement that it sucks and the deceiving spouse is the ultimate bad person. However, that's the easy part and is wholly insufficient. Sort of like how I think people who focus on who needs to do the test and when to be focused rhetorical at best and cheap. The logistical component is easy to resolve and while not free, it might as well be from a resourcing point of view. We already run a hundred tests for pregnancies, one … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 16/07/24 04:02 PM |
| 3 | As a woman (and who will qualify as a liberal no less), I feel there are way too many posts here trying to guilt trip cuckolded men to bring up kids that are not theirs. I say I have to disagree with Blue Pill on this one.It will happen, especially cause it aligns with both right and left policies, it's just a matter of time at this point cause it's common sense. I think it's bound to happen because insurance companies will want to push for it to screen for high-risk things. Other companies will want to sell targeted products based on risk factors. Heck, beverages and food companies can do more tailored ads since some people are genetically more predisposed to sweet vs. savory foods. As cost for testing goes down… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 16/07/24 03:27 PM |
| 1 | Would you abandon an 18 year old if you discovered they weren't your biological child?Perhaps it wasn't super clear but I agree with you - the betrayed spouse sue their ex-partner, both for some modicum of legal justice but also just the recognition that they were wronged. The actual bio parent not in the picture, that's nothing to do with the betrayed spouse. If the cheating ex wants money from that person, that's on them to sort out on their own. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 16/07/24 03:21 PM |
| 2 | Would you abandon an 18 year old if you discovered they weren't your biological child?Which is my point. The presumption is that we want dads sticking around and those that don’t are heartless. But we don’t want the ones who are heartless to stick around either, right? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 15/07/24 10:44 PM |
| 7 | Would you abandon an 18 year old if you discovered they weren't your biological child?This is something I was thinking about having browsed these threads the past few days. Suppose we reform the law to allow the deceived parent (mostly fathers, but who knows, let's make it gender neutral) to legally sue for backpay, adjusted for inflation, for however many years they were deceived until the age of the child being a legal adult. It will likely mean little in terms of actual material recovery since I doubt the wayward former spouse will ever be able to pay it back in full. It's obv… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 15/07/24 10:02 PM |
| 4 | Would you abandon an 18 year old if you discovered they weren't your biological child?A primary consideration for me also is whether or not the continued relationship would be a net harm for both the father + child. It seems a presumption behind the question here is that the father is heartless for leaving, but if legitimately the father is anguished and/or worked up to the point where the child is legitimately worse off, I'm not sure I want the father to stick around either. Sort of reversed-gender and fictional, but this is like in GoT where Jon Snow was horribly treated by Cat… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 15/07/24 09:49 PM |
| 4 | Would you abandon an 18 year old if you discovered they weren't your biological child?The one example I do know of in real life, the kid cut off their mom completely. It's been about a decade and they still don't speak. The dad is still active in their life. Don't know how often they see each other, but he gets the Father's Day shoutout on social media and the occasional picture of them together. That said, it's not exactly sunshine and roses. The dad has since remarried (in his 50s now and doesn't really care about kids anymore), but the now adult-kid has had serious trust issue… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 15/07/24 09:23 PM |
| 4 | Would you abandon an 18 year old if you discovered they weren't your biological child?I solve this problem by only having debts. They won't get away from me fast enough! | /r/PurplePillDebate | 15/07/24 09:15 PM |
| 2 | Assuming somehow, someway, your concerns are alleviated, do you have anything against an AI/Robot girlfriend?Your point is something I've given thought to a bit more lately. In the genres of games I play, it's entirely possible to be a total psychopath with the virtual characters you interact with. They're totally fictional after all. And yet, from what I've seen, the vast majority of players don't. We joke and meme about it (youtube any video about RimWorld or read any threads about Football Manager in that sub), but I for example feel queasy at times choosing an 'evil' option even if there's a 'justi… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 15/07/24 06:50 PM |
| 4 | Social media influenceHonestly, if we disable commenting, engagement with social media would drop like 90%. The comments are sometimes funny, sometimes enlightening, but in things like Insta or Tik Tok, it's almost always a devolvement into thirst or rage. The posters know of course - most content creators know engagement is their lifeblood to go viral or stay relevant. That said, even the exposure itself can do some 'harm' by altering our availability heuristic. Outside of this sub for example, I spend probably at m… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 15/07/24 05:50 PM |
| 2 | Video of women dancing in an office ignites gender war onlineI daytrade lol. Gotta make (or lose) money while I make money. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 15/07/24 03:41 PM |
| 3 | Do you think most men would be willing to forgive a cheating woman if she treated him well after ?Between /r/survivinginfidelity, /r/AsOneAfterInfidelity, and some other subs I've popped in and out of over the years...cheating is terribly hard to overcome. Especially so if/when it crosses into physical. The stories of those who did make it are interesting as well. Some do state that they become closer and stronger. But even then, many will say that the relationship changed permanently and some openly wonder if it wouldn't have been better to just suffer through the breakup when the wound was… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 15/07/24 06:54 AM |
| – | "I see unattractive men date beautiful women all the time" has to be one of the most self-unaware statementsDiscussing race on this sub will get the hammer, but let's just say as an Asian, I understand that particular dynamic intimately well growing up. I can't of course say your experience is less valid than mine. I've seen all 3 of the ones I've cited, and if I'm being honest I've definitely had some short-term 'relationships' with women who were frankly out of my league because of something that had little to do with me. They predictably crashed and burn, but as the poet says, it gives a lovely lig… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 14/07/24 08:31 AM |
| – | "I see unattractive men date beautiful women all the time" has to be one of the most self-unaware statementsAre they really that extreme? Rich as heck is pretty relative. Coming from SEA, I know plenty of expats dudes who are at best middle class where they come from with g/fs who are definitely way better looking than they are. Charisma I'll concede is a bit more niche, but even then the class clown always punched above his weight when I was in school. The third case is fairly common at least in the Midwest when I grew up. There was always a girl or few in every class who struggled with self-esteem o… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 14/07/24 08:26 AM |
| – | "I see unattractive men date beautiful women all the time" has to be one of the most self-unaware statementsI never claimed it was, only that these pairings are visible because all of those dudes will be out and about showing her off in public. Unless we know the couples somewhat well, it'd be hard to say why the pairing exists, only that they do so people use them as evidence of whatever they want to push. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 14/07/24 08:20 AM |
| – | "I see unattractive men date beautiful women all the time" has to be one of the most self-unaware statementsNot that your list isn't accurate for some instances, but there's plenty of legitimate reasons why (physically) unattractive men date beautiful women: He's rich as heck. He rolled an 18 in charisma (the non looks-related variety). She punched low for whatever personal reason and the relationship won't last. Heck, the third bullet is the reason for many guys' reminiscing years on end after-the-fact. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 14/07/24 08:12 AM |
| 3 | Q4M: We hear a lot about the "Modern woman". Describe the "Modern Male" that WE have to deal with when datingNot OP, but competence can absolutely be learned. Nobody is born knowing how to fix a car or cook a meal from scratch. We all learn stuff along the way, and by making mistakes, though hopefully making fewer and fewer of them as we become better. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 14/07/24 07:45 AM |
| 3 | The biggest issue with modern dating is how technology made dating way easier for a small percentage of men, and way harder for all the rest.Yep, and as bad as YouTube can also be, those videos are at least long enough that the repetition isn't chant-like. Tik Tok gets you the same message repeated every 30s basically, and something repeated that ad nauseam is bound to leave a mark even if you initially rejected the premise. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 13/07/24 02:01 PM |
| 0 | Is there a presumption that posters/commenters here are neurodivergent?So, depending on your level of social comfort, there's a certain amount of prep work needed. You don't just walk into a room and talk to everyone, that's like showing up to a semi-pro basketball game and trying to keep up with the guys who've been doing it for years (which I would consider social skills a similar thing). It's a whole suite of skills, implicit and explicit, that you have to develop until it's as fluid as riding a bike. In the earliest moments, I chose places I enjoyed frequenting… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 11/07/24 05:59 PM |
| 1 | CMV: Villification of men is toxicI deal more with this at the business/corporate level, but a good personal coach is worth their weight in gold (and then some). But to your point, the demand has skyrocketed and supply hasn't kept up, so there's a lot of floor-level stuff to meet that demand. I do think this might be a case where some bad coaching is actually inferior to no coaching at all, though there's no easy solutions to address that shortfall in demand. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 11/07/24 04:47 PM |
| 0 | Is there a presumption that posters/commenters here are neurodivergent?It's not about manifesting, it's about taking steps to earn those experience points. It's deciding that the pain and awkwardness to grind exp is less hurtful than doing nothing at all long-term, and then persisting with that discomfort as you gradually build stamina and hopefully skill. I was a late-bloomer and I assure you all the same thoughts/doubts/anxieties you have now, I'd gone through. I've made a lot of women uncomfortable, lost friendships, etc. as I learned the ropes. Up until like 18… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 11/07/24 04:40 PM |
| 11 | CMV: Villification of men is toxicToxicity is very much the norm whenever someone speaks out about their preferences. You'd even find it for positive qualities: if I said I wanted a woman who was nice and pleasant, someone will drive by and accuse me of wanting a housemaid or some other power dynamics nonsense. It's stronger too when it's a physical preference like looks or weight (or in case of men, height). The answer to the toxicity isn't to suppress it, but drown it out with positivity. It's sort of like how women empower/ga… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 11/07/24 04:13 PM |
| 1 | Is there a presumption that posters/commenters here are neurodivergent?I actually use RES to tag usernames. It's made browsing a lot more pleasant since some people can be avoided, and those that I've had reasonable experiences with in the past are the ones worth debating with further. Sometimes, little details that are relevant to discussion can also be saved. If someone mentioned they are from Australia or East Europe for example, that's a valuable contextual clue to keep in mind, as my experiences in the Midwest city lifestyle can very much be different. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 11/07/24 03:31 PM |
| 0 | Is there a presumption that posters/commenters here are neurodivergent?But it's like investing, where if they don't pick a point at zero to start, it'll never grow either and you miss out on 'compound interest' for confidence/self-esteem. For many, the late teens and early twenties were those times. For these guys, it's a few years later, but the second best time to start is now. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 11/07/24 03:28 PM |
| – | Things I've learned about dating from my lived experience and countless Hinge dates13) Figure out your niche if you want to maximize your outcomes. To use a sports/acting analogy, not everyone is going to fit as a leading actor. There's a reason why Ryan Gosling played Ken and Michael Cera played Alan. And RG can probably also play Alan, but MC is not going to be a convincing Ken. You might not love your niche, but you don't get to decide how attractive you are to others, they do. 14) Train social skills always. Almost every aspect of it is trainable. A lot of comedians are du… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 10/07/24 04:50 PM |
| 5 | Q4M: What would you change about this woman's personality in order to date her?It puzzles me the NIH used a 20-year age span for grouping. In almost no other statistic I can immediately think of that we would treat 20-30 as the same as 30-40. Like, I wouldn't cite the average salary of the age range 20-39 - something tells me that would be much more inflated compared the typical young-mid 20s person. A ton of seminal life changes between the two decades, one of which is settling into a sedentary lifestyle that really causes the typical person's waist size to grow if they d… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 02/07/24 10:25 PM |
| 0 | Men, would you date an obese woman if you loved her personality?In my 20s at my prime? Nope, I was too superficial to care. In my 30s now? The criterion is relaxed, but it’s still there. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 01/07/24 10:10 PM |
| 3 | Women complain about traits of high T but don't want any side effects of a low T maleYeah, keeping on toes is more of the ‘watch what you say and how you act in case it triggers a negative reaction.’ A more benign version is someone who is unpredictable and keeps life entertaining. But OP’s point about a partner challenging the other to grow and becoming their best self is definitely a thing. I see it more in younger couples. Usually by the 50s+, people are just looking for someone to get cozy with. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 30/06/24 07:15 PM |
| 7 | Q4M: Ever feel insulted by the caliber of women who show interest in you?We also have at least one woman who called Henry Cavill awkward and mid lol. I try not to take ratings too seriously when half the people here are less than 25 years old. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 29/06/24 07:29 PM |
| 8 | Current day red pillers lie to men about how women are and what men should do to attract women, because red pill not longer wants to help men be successful at dating, but to make men bitter, miserable, angry doomers who stay single and alone and eventually even self-delete.It happened to me too at one point. It happens quite subtly too. You start to think you're the 'reasonable' one among the voices of the most distressed, but then you talk to people who aren't even aware of these communities and realize "holy crap, I'm the extreme one." My fiance is a good litmus test for me. I relay to her stuff from this sub every so often and she'll ask me to sort my thoughts on various topics aloud. Having even one dissenting voice you can trust helps you to avoid falling int… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 29/06/24 03:49 AM |
| – | Do you think men need a stronger sense of collective male identity to collectively advocate for male interests, especially as a counterweight to female interests?So do you think more men need to adopt a mirrored version of this worldview, to serve as a counterweight to the female agenda? A stronger sense of collective identity based on their sex, to more effectively advocate for male interests? It would help, yes. In small circles context, a group of male friends who are supportive rather than combative bros is a godsend. As I've aged, I find it tragic most people do not know what that looks like. At most, some men would have one, maybe two guy friends, … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 19/06/24 06:25 AM |
| 6 | Describe the average man dating experience ?Could just be a socializing thing. It was definitely far easier to run into a guy who's single during my 20s than a woman who was single. Women who frequent social scenes I did tend to be taken. Venues like bars have to offer perks to get single women to show up, whereas single men are never in a short supply. Even in co-ed sports league, it's mostly men and their partners who tag along to round out the numbers. I know there's a cadre of 20s single women out there. But for whatever reason, they … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 18/06/24 06:54 PM |
| – | It’s really bizarre how even women from humble backgrounds and lower socioeconomic standing possess the same degree of entitlement and delusion as upper middle class womenHe took me to an Indian restaurant and ordered butter chicken and garlic naan… LOL. Though to be fair, depending on where you live, that's probably adventurous for the local populace. My fiance's mother doesn't like garlic, onion, anything spicier than mayo, etc. Butter chicken would probably melt her. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 18/06/24 04:48 PM |
| – | As a White Man, Black Women get hated for no Reason, and i never understood why this is.Someone I went on a couple of dates with back in the day, we’re still friends on FB. She’s ’too white’ for a lot of black men (very well educated, upper middle class background), yet too different for many white men. I can somewhat relate as a fellow minority guy (SE Asian), but personally I think the kind of cultural dynamics she deals with is a lot tougher on the psyche. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 17/06/24 08:37 AM |
| – | Why don't woman admit they like high status men?I think that social status is basically the overall amount of positive regard others have for you + how many & how much people are willing to defer to you. Which can be highly context-specific, and something a lot of the men here can learn to cultivate to their advantage. I think too many of us get caught up in 'macro-status', relative to the large swaths of humanity we won't ever interact with instead of focusing on smaller local communities, where a person who is otherwise average can actually… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 17/06/24 05:51 AM |
| 2 | Self-improvement is a scamThank you for the kind words. I'm glad we have the technology and know-how to make your experiences better, and if not great, then at least tolerable. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 14/06/24 03:08 AM |
| 2 | Self-improvement is a scamI think I had more carefree fun in my 20s, but my 30s right now is peak living. Maybe I'll feel that way in my 40s for the 40s, and so on. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 13/06/24 05:00 PM |
| 8 | Why do women hate when their male friends confess feelings to them?You highlight an important point that I think not enough of us think about. The language of gender discourse is becoming increasingly laced with moral undertones. Even the whole 'ick' thing, which was sort of benign at first, is now becoming a battlefield for moral superiority. It's probably due to inflammatory language/expressions receiving more clicks/views so everyone dials it up in the era of social media engagement. But it does hurt dialogue long-term. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 13/06/24 04:51 PM |
| 3 | Are your dates boring?I've definitely had some pretty boring dates. Some commonalities among those boring dates are: She can't get her head out of her phone. She can't discuss anything beyond who/what's in her immediate life. She relies almost entirely on me to drive the conversation topic. Those early dates with my fiance weren't 'fun' in that they were full of excitement and constant adrenaline. They were pleasant, easy, and enjoyable. We went bowling date two and I didn't break 80 pts (which is really bad). But we… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 13/06/24 06:10 AM |
| 6 | Is it tougher being childfree?They're more common in the professional world from what I've seen. We're friends with quite a few DINK couples (dual-incomes, no kids). A few are nominally open to having children somedayTM, but most sort of stop pretending like they're actually interested by around the mid-30s if they haven't already made serious plans to have them. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 11/06/24 04:56 AM |
| 12 | Red pillers see women as dishonest / out to get them / subhuman / only good for sex, because due to RPers own behavior / attitudes, they only attract bottom-tier, psychologically damaged women, which then reinforces their attitudes and causes them to attract even more of the same in an endless loop.Even with this sub, I find it's just the same 10 topics rehashed ad infinitum without any endpoint. I'm a fan of rereads, but at some point you explore what else is out there, ya know? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 10/06/24 03:31 PM |
| – | Nearly half (44%) of Gen Z young men haven't dated in their teenage yearsI was thinking a bit about this. Growing up Asian, one of the deepest things drilled into our brains was to save dating for later and focus on academics/careers first. It didn't surprised me that among my peers, me and other Asian kids were the slowest to get into the dating game. And, very generally speaking, our relationships once we did break in tended to be much more stable and less dramatic. It does seem like that's the trajectory of youth relationships: a lot more monks and nuns until the … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 03/06/24 05:52 PM |
| – | Moral character has no bearing on sexual successAll comrades are equal, but some comrades are more equal than others. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 30/05/24 06:48 PM |
| 9 | Question for dads and men currently in committed relationships; did you fall into typical gender roles and before the relationship how strongly did you believe in gender roles?Some aspects of our relationship is 'traditional' sure. Others are more egalitarian. I've mentioned elsewhere, but I think of it more as a lead vs. support than a male vs. female role. Historically, society aligned men = lead and women = support, but that need not be the case. Both the fiance and I do corporate work where travel and long days/meetings are involved. On days where I WFH, I do the cooking, days where she's at home, she does the cooking. We split chores based on preference and abili… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 30/05/24 05:22 PM |
| 2 | Where is the line between wanting something and acting entitled to something?Sure, this is statistically possible but highly improbable. Would it be wrong to feel slighted about what “should” have happened statistically? Ask any gambler or those who plays XCOM lol. To put it back into dating if you’re 0/100 at some point statistically things should have went your way once at least. Only if your estimate of the initial odds are accurate. And even then, the one thing that I find most people struggle with is that they treat "highly probable" = "basically is the way it will … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 30/05/24 04:55 PM |
| 5 | Women are leaving dating appsOr couples. Couples go out together more, so it’s fairly intuitive for us to see “young couples everywhere” but fail to see all the singles not going out nearly as much and assume the young folks are dating just fine. Anytime I see single people, they’re usually roaming in a group of friends and largely sticking with just those people, so there’s no real mingling happening either. There does seem to be more social isolation than before, and we haven’t quite caught up to it yet to address the roo… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/05/24 05:44 PM |
| 7 | Women are leaving dating appsBars, absolutely. I was only speaking specific to the night clubs. Bars were always a different setup and game, so I don’t classify them as the same kind of third places. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/05/24 05:22 PM |
| 34 | Women are leaving dating appsClubs seem to have mostly died out around me. There’s the few who sustain themselves by consolidating the remaining pool of people who go, but I remember the town I grew up in having like 4 nightclubs within a mile of each other downtown and you sort of go to the one most chill/happening depending on your vibe that night. Last I checked, only 1 remained, 1 became a brewery and the other two are whatever now. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/05/24 04:53 PM |
| 20 | What percentage of men under age 30 do you think have sexual options?To date long-term maybe. Plenty of 18-25-year-olds date without long-term expectations. It's only when people start to look at serious dating is the whole college degree/educated thing become important. When the dudes around here are upset, they're not upset at the 30 year old guy who made something of himself and can settle down with a similar partner after a bit of dating. They're upset that in their youth, there's a small pool of it-factor men who can clean up and do the bulk of the dating/ST… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 24/05/24 06:38 PM |
| 2 | What is more important, status or money?I think it needs 2 pieces of shell/bread. So a Subway/Jimmy John sub isn't a sandwich? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 21/05/24 11:53 PM |
| 3 | What is more important, status or money?So it's kinda like mind experiments. Is a taco a sandwich? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 21/05/24 11:28 PM |
| 11 | When does millennial advice/experience become irrelevant to younger generations?it’s more likely to be useful for analyzing human behavior and less likely for specifics about current norms of approach, dating practices, etc. It's an age-old advice that in matters of people, consult the old, in matters of fashion, consult the young. The caveat of course is you find the wise ones and not just any rando. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 21/05/24 05:08 PM |
| 3 | Why is being a "bitch" equated to being trendy/popular in Western Culture?Kyle’s mom? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 18/05/24 10:35 PM |
| 1 | Q4W: For those that care - What do you think of Bumble allowing men to send the first message?Even where ratios are more equal, use pattern between men and women seems pretty different. Talking with my lady friends who are still single, they generally do one of two things: Pop in for a few dates, either it goes well and they pair off + leave for a stretch, or Have a crappy time and let their profiles go idle, mute it so the notifications of new messages are off, but the profile is still ‘active’ in case they get the itch to try again. Meanwhile, the men are sort of doing daily swipes lik… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 17/05/24 11:43 PM |
| 74 | Women harp endlessly about entitlement and men feeling “owed” but in reality most people expect to be able get someone similar to them in all areas and framing this as “entitlement” is a deflection from the real issueThe assertion that “your level is what you can get” or that “the market determines your level” is further nonsense. Nonsense relative to what exactly? Nobody determines their own attractiveness to others. You can set your own value to yourself, but if nobody else agrees, then you get no play. That's just the way of things. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 14/05/24 06:28 PM |
| 1 | What's stopping you from taking the Blue Pill?Not sure I agree at all. People who get recruited have life experiences that makes them dissatisfied. If things were sunshine and rainbows, they would just stick to that and not go looking. I’d concede it’s a feedback loop and not an either/or situation, but it seems premature to say life experiences doesn’t lead some people to these things. One of the more vocal groups of RP men are middle-aged divorced men who self-proclaimed to have ‘woken up’ from BP fantasies. That sounds like (negative) li… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 07/05/24 03:57 PM |
| 6 | Women are unable to handle rejectionI'm actually surprised there were consequences beyond a stern talking to and some community service and maybe a half-felt apology ordered by the court. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 07/05/24 03:27 PM |
| 1 | What's stopping you from taking the Blue Pill?Some things I can think of: Not everyone fits into the BP narrative - those people then seek alternatives. There have always been guys who don't succeed, but modern factors make it harder for them so they go looking for answers in places conventionally successful people don't need to. You assume the life of misery and social ostracization will follow, when it could have been the precursor. It's sort of like asking who joins cults? It's not people who have happy, well-adjusted lives. Cults attrac… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 07/05/24 03:14 PM |
| – | What's your dating hot take? Something you believe from your own dating experiences that this sub would typically disagree with?A single loner dude is definitely seen as a wildcard. I've found it helpful to be the single dude who slinks around and gather up the other single dudes and form a mini clique. All it takes is like 2-3 receptive guys and everyone is much more at ease. Definitely though, even just one woman would help make the group seem much 'safer.' EDIT: Don't mean to imply we are a wildcard when roaming solo, only perceived that way. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 06/05/24 02:58 PM |
| 5 | Would you rather be stuck on a desert island with a man or a woman?So many of us live in such safe environments now we can entertain these silly hypotheticals about animal predators. Like, do people not recognize why they're no longer around? Because our ancestors saw first-hand the absolute danger they posed to humans and hunted them in most places to extinction. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 02/05/24 07:01 PM |
| 2 | Would you rather be stuck on a desert island with a man or a woman?I think we already knew that though - anyone who's experienced a man vs. a woman walking behind you when there's nobody else around can speak to it. As with all social media, the videos aren't showing the 90%+ probably who smelled the bs and answered man when comparing man vs. bear. I wouldn't say it's entirely manufactured, but it's definitely selective presentation. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 02/05/24 06:54 PM |
| 1 | Would you rather be stuck on a desert island with a man or a woman?I agree I think your reasoning is sound but misses the rhetoric behind the best question. Ironically, that's a rhetorical move on the original question's part, not mine. The initial question is designed to provoke reaction, not a drawn out logical inquiry. The rhetorical move was to ask about A (the bear vs. man), but wanting B answered (safety) because A is absurd in some sense. It's a trick lawyers play all the time when cross-examining witnesses. I agree it's more interesting. I'd personally … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 02/05/24 06:41 PM |
| 3 | Would you rather be stuck on a desert island with a man or a woman?The bear question is mostly about safety. I get that. But it's such a limiting way to answer your prompt because it ignores everything else that involves living on a marooned island with someone. I think that's why so many people are reacting negatively to the original question (man vs. bear), it's an absolute tunneling on one very specific aspect (violence of a certain nature, vs. violence in general which bears can also commit). Who do you think would be more agreeable and/or safe? Woman for s… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 02/05/24 06:00 PM |
| 11 | Do You Think Single Women Will Go 6+ Months Without Affection?Some do, some don't. I get the sense the only single women here that matters to a lot of men is the single women that are young and attractive (or at least cute). That's, generously, maybe half of young women at best. My ex, who most of you would rate at least an 8 in our young 20s (and probably an 8 now relative to women her age), she is now a single mother of two and has not had a relationship in years. Not even hookups. Does she have suitors? Sure. But she's upfront about her two kids and 99%… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 02/05/24 05:06 PM |
| 9 | How do you think this "gender war" is going to end?I've noticed that once people leave their young 20s, most tend to chill out about everything. A few maintain, and some get more fervent about whatever, but most get 'vibe-checked' by reality sooner or later. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 02/05/24 04:56 PM |
| 5 | Would you rather be stuck on a desert island with a man or a woman?On the whole, I'd probably have a better survival chance with a man. Using completely anecdotal evidence, that one Survivors series where it's an island of men vs. an island of women, the men got their stuff together and did alright, the women group, not so much. Now, there are aspects of sharing an island with a woman that would be superior to sharing it with a man: Men have a higher resting metabolism on average, so feeding two men would require more food. So if we are struggling to meet our c… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 02/05/24 04:53 PM |
| 4 | Putting on muscle doesn't make you significantly more confident or attractive if you already fitWell sure, you passed the threshold of physique. Once you've passed, having more isn't going to do much for you. An A is an A, whether you scored 94% or 99%. If you have 6 classes, having an A+ in one isn't going to overcome a D- in another, your overall GPA will still get dragged. It sounds like you believe you've done everything you reasonably can on the physical front (not my place to say yes or no, you know you best), so time to focus on other non-physical coursework. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 01/05/24 09:52 PM |
| 5 | Lets redo this bear vs man thing. "Ravenously hungry Polar bear with a history of killing people" VS "Jacked up 6 foot 6 350lbs Prisoner serving a life sentence for raping and murdering several women"Starting to sound a lot like the trolley problem subreddit. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 01/05/24 06:32 PM |
| – | Why do most people on average give such horrible dating advice for men?What the heck is going on in this world ? There's advice you can give to someone you know at a cursory level, and then there's advice to give to trusted individuals who you know won't make it personal and hold it against you. Think of it like this: if I'm a doctor and I have no prior history with you, we're going to run through a diagnostics checklist. It's extremely impersonal and going to sound super generic. Only if there's a detailed dossier would you get useful feedback, and even then peopl… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 29/04/24 08:00 PM |
| 2 | Is there a hill that you would die on when it comes to standards for a relationship?So, I will ask directly if there is anything that you would cause you to feel repulsed or lose interest to the point of leaving a potential partner and staying single? History of infidelity is a hard no (1 is an orange flag, and anything beyond that is just no period). Serious addiction issues. Extreme dependency. Crushingly low self-esteem. Narcissistically high self-evaluation. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 29/04/24 07:46 PM |
| 1 | N COUNTS WEEKLY DISCUSSION THREADThe Catholic poophole loophole. The Mormon soaking. And so on. Basically, religion-induced guilt/rule-following was the #1 reason I saw growing up. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 28/04/24 05:13 AM |
| 1 | Q4Men: what will you do if your daughter is 32 and unmarried and single?Sure, but the discussion is about what factors my hypothetical daughter might consider, and not about me. As an adult in her 30s, I’d hope she can have independent thoughts and decide what works for her. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/04/24 05:00 PM |
| 3 | Q4Men: what will you do if your daughter is 32 and unmarried and single?The ‘can be’ is doing a ton of heavy-lifting. We’re assuming someone can’t develop their palate further. My fiancé and her family are very Midwest and their concept of spicy is onions and garlic. Im Asian and something that doesn’t even register as mild to me made her cry when we started dating. She has gradually expanded her palate since. As long as they respect your choice of cuisine, you can make it work. The respect and willingness to try matters more than how adventurous their taste buds we… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/04/24 07:16 AM |
| 1 | Would you hate even more the french dating scene ?That’s the stereotype anyways. As always, there’s a kernel of truth that’s exaggerated. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/04/24 06:19 AM |
| 10 | Q4Men: what will you do if your daughter is 32 and unmarried and single?For starters, I’d tell her to discount almost everything said by internet randoms. That meta-narrative aside, it depends on her goals. If I did my part correctly as a parent, she would hopefully have inherited what I consider a practical approach to life, in that we should own our choices and accept all the good and bad consequences of that. There’s the part of life that plays out around us, but there’s the part of life that we are architects to. If she wants to find ‘the one’ and start a family… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/04/24 06:15 AM |
| 1 | Woman alone in the woods with a bear, or a tall handsome stranger?Depending on the bear, you won't have to fend it off either. A hungry panda or black bear would probably leave you alone. A grizzly or polar? Yeah, it's over. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 22/04/24 07:22 PM |
| 1 | What does PPD make of this "soft guy era"? Drizzle DrizzleA generous timeline. I’d give it like 2 days. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 19/04/24 04:01 AM |
| – | Are women actually able to be friends with men?You sort of described it already. They can be friends with guys in the way guys can be friends: where you don't demand anything materially from each other beyond occasionally hanging out and vibing. Yes, there are women who take advantage of the dynamic. Just like there are friends of rich people who lean on them because they can 'buy everyone a round' while the friend just paid rent and needs coverage until next paycheck. This is why richer people become wary and over time tend to only hang out… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 15/04/24 04:54 PM |
| – | Is it easier in 2024 for an autistic man to make a fortune than get into a romantic relationship.Certainly, lucrative skillsets that can be acquired (STEM, finance, etc.) despite a typical neurodivergent person's lack of social acuity is more prevalent today possibly than at any other point in history. In that regards, sure. Anything you can do without needing the assistance/cooperation of someone else is going to be easier than vice versa. But, I doubt it was sunshine and roses for the neurodivergent guys before this period. Relationships have always come tough for them - you're just getti… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 15/04/24 04:43 PM |
| 2 | Are many guys here not interested in casual sex?The competitive ranked meta is pretty meh, hoping the devs will patch. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 14/04/24 06:11 PM |
| 2 | Any man here with absent/useless father figure? How are you doing in life (dating/career/family)?Dad's been gone (cancer) since I was 14 in high school. He was an alright dude when still around, not actively harmful I guess but not exactly someone I'd be proud to take after either. In fact, sibling and I both joke about our resolving to be a better dad than he was is a large part of how we've become who we are. I wouldn't say he was useless, only that being a generation-zero immigrant who had a really hard time adapting to American culture, he offered us very little in valuable socializatio… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 14/04/24 06:00 PM |
| 1 | How bad are huble Jobs in the eyes of women? ( Ex. Garbage men)I recently watched a few commentary videos on Tik Tok compilations. If that was the bulk of my exposure to how younger men/women think of each other, I’d probably think modern dating is extra shitty too. If there’s any reprieve I guess, it’s that these chronic video makers who turn their entire lives into gags for likes self-identify for you as people to avoid. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 14/04/24 04:20 PM |
| 8 | It can be liberating to realize that there are both men and women who are losers in this game.Suppose I agree with you. Are the lonely and unhappy now fulfilled and joyous by acknowledging they are on the wrong end of the dichotomy? Is knowledge that "a lot of it is out of my hands" liberating? How so? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 14/04/24 06:54 AM |
| 5 | Accountability is redpill's kryptonite as it's mostly there to seetheThe core essence of TRP is "be valuable if you want to be valued." Way too many people be unironically quoting "what do you bring to the table?" while offering about zilch in return. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 12/04/24 05:41 PM |
| 18 | When it comes to most relationships today, who do you think is more likely to make the first move?Funny you bring up Bumble. The most frequently encountered Bumble 'approach' me and many guys I've talked to who used the app is that you would match with a woman, she sent you a 'Hi' or handwave emoji, and then it's on the guy to do the actual approaching. It's literally the same thing as in-person where the way many women "approach" is to make themselves physically available and send signals that they guy can approach and start the conversation. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 12/04/24 05:23 PM |
| 12 | What percentage of female posters here are trolls?Someone else mentioned it, but it's due to age/experience differences. Lots of the men here are younger and/or have only had limited dating experiences, or bad dating experiences. So they're vocal about the negativity. The women who are common users tend to be older, married/are in LTRs, and otherwise here because they're interested in gender dynamics but not really actively pushing their worldview (vs. defending it). The younger women do sound a bit more confrontational/snarky like their male c… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 12/04/24 04:04 PM |
| – | Debate: the problem with the dating market is women’s standards are too highOne of my bosses got 4 starting at 30 lol. If health is no concern, people have plenty of kids in their 30s just fine. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 11/04/24 03:21 PM |
| 4 | How would an IQ score on your ID card affect dating or society in general?So if I follow, dumber men are also, on average, dumber than dumber women. Not quite. It's more that there are quantitatively more dumb men than women, and more smart men than smart women. So if you use 100 people as proxy, there might be 70 average women, 15 smart, and 15 dumb. For men, it's 60 average men, 20 smart, and 20 dumb. More people on either extreme, rather than a given person being more/less. Serious question - does this call into the question the value of forced gender equality “for… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 10/04/24 10:02 PM |
| 3 | How would an IQ score on your ID card affect dating or society in general?And now that means you're always going to be looking down at others which leads to problems with arrogance, hubris, being less kind, less empathetic, all stuff that wrecks relationships, romance, and dating. All Int and no Wis or Cha. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 10/04/24 09:45 PM |
| 4 | I think the reason I don’t want to date short men is because they were the first guys to reject meMy theory is that a lot of girls have experience either attempting to date or dating short boys who haven’t gone through puberty and don’t have a normal relationship, which is why we’re generally hardliners against dating shorter men. Idk, my fiance's heart in middle school was broken by an Asian guy, and now she's gonna be marrying an Asian guy. Do you also avoid all guys with his hair color, eye color, body build, general facial features, etc.? Or is height just the unique thing singled out an… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 10/04/24 09:26 PM |
| 2 | How would an IQ score on your ID card affect dating or society in general?Part of it is certainly the definitional aspect. Neurodivergence is like the word cancer - it's a catch-all term for so many different conditions with vastly different origins and expressions. To flatten them to do one correlation would be highly suspect in my view. I'm also leaning towards the relationship being curvilinear anyways, though it's been a long time since I've dug into the IQ literature with regularity. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 10/04/24 06:09 PM |
| 41 | Another “Are We Dating The Same Guy” lawsuitcan you foresee cases where a man may actually have a case here? Yes, and it would likely follow the same trajectory as other instances of proven false accusations. We can use for example the punter who was drafted by the Bills and unceremoniously contract-dumped when he was falsely accused. Eventually, the evidence seem to overwhelmingly favor the fact he was not even present during the supposed time period of the act, and while his legal standing is restored, his social reputation and lifetime… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 10/04/24 05:52 PM |
| 6 | How would an IQ score on your ID card affect dating or society in general?A high IQ shouldn't be conflated with being neurodivergent. Many high-IQ people (whatever your cutoff of that might be) are perfectly 'normal', and many neurodivergents do not have an appreciably higher IQ. If we're talking about the interaction effect between the two variables, I would still imagine being higher IQ + neurodivergent is far better than being lower IQ + neurodivergent. It's the neurodivergence that drives the bulk of inability to relate to people, the IQ if anything gives someone … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 10/04/24 05:38 PM |
| 2 | What You Do To Get Into Top Part of 80/20did you have to be good at math to be in the field you're in? It helps, but not really. I took Calc 1 in high school, but truly none of the stuff I do requires any hard math. In grad school, stats was the major focus for research, but I've seen a lot of people ultimately get a masters with fairly lukewarm mastery of it. You sound like you have a nice (one might say enviable) lifestyle in whatever niche you're in. I definitely recognize that my fiance and I are doing quite well for ourselves thes… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 09/04/24 02:39 PM |
| 2 | What You Do To Get Into Top Part of 80/20I appreciate the vote of confidence, but truly I don't think I'm anything most average guys can't achieve (and hell, surpass really). Maybe some need extra coaching occasionally, but otherwise I've seen people go pretty far with grit. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 09/04/24 03:24 AM |
| 7 | What You Do To Get Into Top Part of 80/20I'm a bookish nerd, standing at 5'3", though somewhat lean build (125 lbs at peak, nowadays closer to 135 lbs). So, no clubbing women unless they like a dude shorter than the height of their heels. No sporty chicks unless she digs a non-athletic nerd. I'm not really into the deep trenches of music exploration, so no musicpophiles. I'm Southeast Asian, so also written off by most 'conventional' women who have more conventional Caucasian preferences (the KPop craze has helped, though I'm not Korea… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 09/04/24 12:36 AM |
| 8 | What You Do To Get Into Top Part of 80/20Found a niche that fits me as well as can be and start focusing into that demographic. I’m not a prototype that has mass appeal, so gotta amplify the signals that is receptive. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 08/04/24 10:10 PM |
| 4 | What does it mean to "Lead" a relationship?But what does it mean to lead a relationship to you? Is it being the person who primarily pushes the relationship into its various phases? Someone who's primarily 'responsible' for the relationship's health and prosperity? This seems fair. What dictates this as the man's 'role'? And what 'role' is the woman meant to inhabit? Do you feel as if it's just some vestigial remnant of a time we no longer live in? It's not only a man's role - at least, it doesn't have to be. Women have led households pr… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 08/04/24 05:05 PM |
| 101 | Do you consider a woman having tons of sex with you every single day a way to deter cheating?Of the cheaters I know, it wouldn’t matter. They don’t cheat because of sex, but something deeper than that (the thrill, the external validation, being sick of their partners, etc.). Plentiful sex can make a bad relationship tolerable, but it won’t make it good. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 08/04/24 04:52 PM |
| 5 | How young does a wife have to be for a husband to get “wife goggles?”I understand the flood of contradicting messaging out there combined with your seeming anxiety about dating and relationships. But, seriously, you're 22. The average age of marriage these days is around 30. This whole wife googles thing is a misunderstanding - people fall in love with more lust when they're younger and it transitions to a bond of mutually shared life experiences: hopes, dreams, fears, loss, etc. What meeting your partner younger does is give you more time and chances to accumula… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 04/04/24 01:48 AM |
| 1 | Society looks the other way a lot more with women's toxic behavior in heterosexual relationships than with men'sYeah, there's definitely something cathartic about just smashing things. I think it's the need for personally seeing progress. A lot of self-improvement only shows progress long-term, which is great but not particularly motivating in the short-term (instead, requiring discipline). Smashing stuff shows immediate results, which lets the emotions quench itself. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 01/04/24 05:13 PM |
| 2 | Society looks the other way a lot more with women's toxic behavior in heterosexual relationships than with men'sI think it goes back a ways - society has always been suspicious of a group of young, unattached men left largely unattended to, no matter how benign. The fear/concern for when they choose to no longer stay benign is real, as historically it can get rowdy and physically dangerous for outsiders. I absolutely agree women-only/women-dominated spaces turn toxic as well, like we see with FDS, and occasionally a rant on TwoX (I also peeked into Vindicta and can't say I'm impressed by that sub either).… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 01/04/24 05:10 PM |
| 3 | Society looks the other way a lot more with women's toxic behavior in heterosexual relationships than with men'sAnger is fine - anger + punching holes into walls, not so much. We can encourage healthy outlets for anger and discourage maladaptive ones. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 01/04/24 02:19 PM |
| 19 | Society looks the other way a lot more with women's toxic behavior in heterosexual relationships than with men'sYour last comment resonates with a lot of what I grew up seeing. Men are given more lip service now about the importance of emotions and how to feel/express it, but it often conflicts heavily with our lived experiences of these expressions being received so negatively. And yes, of course things like anger and punching walls should be received negatively and discouraged. But grief, sadness, desperation and despondency, exhaustion...these are very real and common emotions that we don't receive a b… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 01/04/24 09:12 AM |
| 12 | Society looks the other way a lot more with women's toxic behavior in heterosexual relationships than with men'sI know it's a stereotype, but 2 and 3 are basically memes for women --> men direction. Where I grew up (Midwest US), a woman spouse can be seen talking down their partners in public with regularity. The opposite is rarely the case since people are quick to leap in and defend the woman. And when it comes to money, perhaps it's cultural, but the joke locally is that the woman controls the household finances too. Men get their "allowances" from their paychecks and the rest goes into the family acco… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 01/04/24 08:52 AM |
| 3 | I am tired of the rhetoric that "the friendzone" "isn't real" and the lack of acknowledgment that both sexes can be toxic in that scenarioIt really doesn't reflect well on nerd culture or confirms the stereotypes. The number of times where I, as a guy, find myself disturbed by some of my fellow men at FNM is...frequent. Dudes who reeked of BO. Dudes who use plastic sleeves with weirdly erotic anime characters/waifus in public as an "expression of art" (bro, there are kids playing here, put that shit away). Dudes who throw a shit fit because they can't understand the rules and insist they read it right. It goes on. On the flip side… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 01/04/24 08:46 AM |
| 3 | I am tired of the rhetoric that "the friendzone" "isn't real" and the lack of acknowledgment that both sexes can be toxic in that scenarioFriday Night Magic, specific to Magic the Gathering. Before covid, most local gaming stores hosted a weekly event where players can show up and compete (usually a dozen or so people). Post-covid, turnout has really fallen, so these events have gone away in a lot of places other than the extremely high-volume stores. It's almost always a sausage fest of teens and a guys in their mid-20s to 30s. Rarely, there might be a woman, but she's usually someone's significant other. Very rarely, a truly sin… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 01/04/24 08:30 AM |
| 7 | I am tired of the rhetoric that "the friendzone" "isn't real" and the lack of acknowledgment that both sexes can be toxic in that scenarioThat's an exception, not rule if overtime a woman falls in love with a guy friend. But the OP commenter was discussing this exception scenario, and not the rule. Your comment about being upfront doesn't apply, because upfront there was no initial attraction beyond friendship. You're really trying to give hope to those being friendzoned to keep on playing a friend...[]...I would not want to date a guy who only befriended me or pretended to be my friend just so that he can sleep with me or date me… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 01/04/24 08:02 AM |
| 3 | I am tired of the rhetoric that "the friendzone" "isn't real" and the lack of acknowledgment that both sexes can be toxic in that scenarioHonestly over some messenger app is less effective than in person, for example. Maybe this is the legal job side of me speaking, but you never want to put any sensitive things like that into writing lol. No matter how well-intentioned, it will be read with the least amount of charity possible. In-person is much harder at first, but the formative experience is invaluable. Life is full of rejection, including you (generic you, not you specifically) doing the rejecting. Everyone benefits in knowing… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 01/04/24 07:41 AM |
| 4 | I am tired of the rhetoric that "the friendzone" "isn't real" and the lack of acknowledgment that both sexes can be toxic in that scenarioIt's a dumb strategy when a guy does this but it's not a fucking war crime. Sure, but a dumb strategy will garner a reaction, and often a negative one. And if a guy has to say friendship isn't enough in the aftermath....its a little late but it's still honesty. The logical part of me says yes, honesty is most preferable. The human experience part of me says unfortunately, no, honesty is not the best policy and the younger and/or more emotionally charged the experience, the more song-and-dance is… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 01/04/24 07:25 AM |
| 7 | I am tired of the rhetoric that "the friendzone" "isn't real" and the lack of acknowledgment that both sexes can be toxic in that scenarioI've seen it in action enough that I can't blame you. The nerd culture has a lot of maturing to do when it comes to becoming an inviting place for women. Which is ironic, because a lot of nerdy men I'm sure would like nothing more than nerdy women to spend time with, but as a whole the experience can be so negative and awkward for women I don't blame most for never checking it out. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 01/04/24 07:16 AM |
| 5 | I am tired of the rhetoric that "the friendzone" "isn't real" and the lack of acknowledgment that both sexes can be toxic in that scenarioYeah, it was really sad. Though the happy news is that she leveraged her interest into a job as a tech consultant and is doing quite well for herself. I miss her a lot on some days actually, she left for NYC and seems to be quite happy these days. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 01/04/24 07:14 AM |
| 12 | I am tired of the rhetoric that "the friendzone" "isn't real" and the lack of acknowledgment that both sexes can be toxic in that scenarioBut isn't that not what happened here? OP's post above indicated the attraction happened organically over time and not in the beginning. They did entered the friendship as a friend. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 01/04/24 07:11 AM |
| 5 | I am tired of the rhetoric that "the friendzone" "isn't real" and the lack of acknowledgment that both sexes can be toxic in that scenarioPeople stop being friends sometimes because they move less than 50 miles away lol. People stop being friends for so many petty reasons even when on paper they can still make good friends. I used to be a lot more saddened by it, but maybe I'm on the second half of 30 now that I think "better to have volunteers than hostages around." I'll gladly concede it sucks on the woman's end too to lose a good friend. But if they're also a good friend, then they should let a friend go if they're no longer in… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 01/04/24 07:09 AM |
| 7 | I am tired of the rhetoric that "the friendzone" "isn't real" and the lack of acknowledgment that both sexes can be toxic in that scenarioI've always had hobbies that are more male centric (think Dungeons and Dragons, Magic the Gathering) Whenever there's just like 1 woman at FNM or a prerelease, I swear it breaks like half of the young dudes' minds. It's honestly tragic - I'd hate to miss out on something so fun if I was a woman because you're probably the only non-familial woman a lot of these awkward dudes have interacted with in a while. One of my friends is a huge AI and robotics nerd, and she's conventionally attractive. She… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 01/04/24 06:27 AM |
| 14 | I am tired of the rhetoric that "the friendzone" "isn't real" and the lack of acknowledgment that both sexes can be toxic in that scenarioBut if they really like the person then asking for a cooling off period and then retaining that friendship is possible and desirable. I think the biggest issue is the fact that they don’t want to be friends anymore after. I'm not really sure if it's actually desirable most of the time though. Friends come and go - it's a truism that most people won't stay friends with most people from their high school. Then most from their college. And so on. Some friends are key for seminal periods of your lif… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 01/04/24 05:49 AM |
| 1 | Rich guys are not on redditIs this even possible? Yes. The nature of salary work is quite different sometimes than hourly. In my busy season, I put in 60+ hours because of hard deadlines (legal). When times are slow, I can spend half the day on reddit and then leave early for 'voluntary' happy hour (best-case scenario is when it happens during work hours). But you do have to wonder when so many high earning men are on here every day complaining about women. Because people who complain are far more vocal than people who ar… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 30/03/24 07:28 AM |
| 4 | Question for older guys 35+. What is your experience with the wall?Personally my (early-mid) 20's would have been a lot more enjoyable and romantically successful if women behaved more like they do at 35. The women in their 20s who were ahead of the curve never stayed single for more than like 3 months lol. You catch wind of it too late and bam, she's with another guy for 2+ years. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 26/03/24 08:29 AM |
| 10 | I noticed something interesting. At least to me. I've noticed many subreddits pertaining to cheating consist of women mostly.You’re probably looking for r/survivinginfidelity. Another sub that has unfortunately gone private was r/survivingmyinfidelity. You get the perspective of the cheater, usually after they’re off the cheating high (called ‘the fog’). It went private though since the people making the posts were getting harassed even though most of them at that point were looking for feedback on how they can help their betrayed partners heal / move on. It’s easy to not feel much sympathy for the ones doing the wron… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 25/03/24 10:50 PM |
| 4 | When people say “don’t confess your feelings”, what do they actually mean?I accept that people can't know everybody's individual circumstances, but in that case they should probably say nothing, not just blast out a bunch of clichés and contextless instructions or demands. I think that's just the nature of human discourse. People chime in even when they don't have all the pieces. I don't think this is gendered or only specific to dating contexts. Can't tell you the number of times an IT bro offered me solutions to a problem I had at work that had very limited applicat… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 25/03/24 08:56 PM |
| 3 | When people say “don’t confess your feelings”, what do they actually mean?I feel you, I grew up with immigrant parents who did their best but definitely didn't arm me with many useful social tools in a completely new environment. Took a lot of trial-and-error, burning bridges, etc. to figure out what I have so far. I feel a ton of sympathy for a lot of guys here and want to nudge them in the right direction whenever possible. Lots of defeatist mindsets though unfortunately. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 25/03/24 08:38 PM |
| 6 | When people say “don’t confess your feelings”, what do they actually mean?What happened to "honesty is the best policy", "don't sit around pining over a woman and then get upset when she went with a guy who actually had the spine to say something", and "men need to be more emotional"? Those advices are still good, but they come from an idealized place. I don't think that's particularly wrong. Advice tends to be black and white because there's so many nuances, you can't possibly factor them all in when giving any sensible advice in one sentence. So you take the ideal, … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 25/03/24 08:35 PM |
| 8 | When people say “don’t confess your feelings”, what do they actually mean?As long as you're happy, power to you. Romance is both a boon and a terrible drain. That said, I think recognizing social dynamics is a good skill to cultivate in general. Also good for sniffing out when someone's trying to pull a fast one on ya. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 25/03/24 07:51 PM |
| 17 | When people say “don’t confess your feelings”, what do they actually mean?It's learning proper escalation, learning to read signs of attraction that are actually there. Inexperienced men, especially those unused to positive experiences with women, will tend to read into every positive interaction as a sign of attraction. Do you know how it's easier to observe and tell if someone else is attracted to a third person, and yet it's much harder to tell sometimes if someone's attracted to you? Find a trusted third party and have them gauge your interactions. Some people are… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 25/03/24 07:36 PM |
| 5 | What does "insecure" even means?Guys: Would you be okay if your gf/wife would make such jokes? If not why? I personally would not care. Like, have men never made a comment or joke about a hot woman on TV or something in the presence of their partners? We find attractive people attractive. There's ways to be tasteful and respectful about it of course - if she's making that comment about every dude strolling by in shorts, I'd certainly be wondering what's going on in her mind. But a stray comment or joke once in a blue moon woul… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 25/03/24 07:48 AM |
| 3 | Why are people still so hesitant to admit that two-parent households are best for kids and that fathers are important?Seems to be a holdover from when the pendulum swung too far in the direction of 'independent woman who don't need no man' empowerment. Can't speak for other places, but at least in the circles I spend time in and the media I consume, pendulum's starting to swing back now. Men/fathers are getting increasing recognition for their importance, especially for young boys who could benefit from positive male adult influence. There are of course people who insist on going at parenthood on their own anyw… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 25/03/24 07:27 AM |
| 11 | What’s your opinion on the 4B movement coming to America?So instead be flexible on the things that don’t matter and the things that are guaranteed to change. Be willing to compromise understanding that it’s not your (general you) partner’s job to be static perfection but your job as a team to grow together That's apparently too sensible for so many people out there. Kind of tragic in some sense really. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 24/03/24 08:27 PM |
| 3 | Is there legitimately an actual correlation with causation to women wearing revealing clothing and promiscuity?barley drinks Funny enough, this spelling also works. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 24/03/24 08:21 PM |
| 2 | A common form of miscommunication I noticed towards the way many of the men on here interpret dating advice directed at themIt makes a world of difference. I generally agree, but for the sake of debate I'm forced to disagree somewhere, so here's a bit: sometimes, people will not clarify because they don't want to. Maybe they don't know you well, maybe they don't want to hurt your feelings, etc. Other times, people can clarify all they want, but it's a difference of philosophy, values, opinions, etc. I've seen enough men here on PPD insist traits like ambition and drive in a woman, or what her job is, etc. makes no di… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 22/03/24 07:25 PM |
| 25 | I hear the statement "The bar for men is extremely low these days" a lot in the context of dating, sex, and relationships. Is the bar low for men's looks or personality/character/effort?I find it slightly amusing you're the first woman to comment so far lol. The rest of the thread is men responding in automod. Idk if it's just being in my 30s now, but any peer still single at my age invoking "the bar is in hell" mentality nevertheless has a pretty high requirement. They often nitpick and dismiss prospects over what I would regard as fairly trivial things. As long as they're happy being single, all the power of choice to them of course, though given how often and vocally they co… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 21/03/24 07:02 AM |
| 1 | Measures to get over a crush.Idk if that creeps men out or turns us off tbh. We’re the predominant gender of poop jokes. Also, this is anecdotal but I know way too many of us men who spend 20+ minutes pooping. It’s like me-time for us. My finance could not be in and out fast enough. I jokingly refer to it as a redditing session. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 21/03/24 04:27 AM |
| 1 | Do you think weaponised incompetence around housework exists? If not, why not? If so, where do you think it comes from?i wish good women and good men could unite against bad people of either gender. I think many of us do. We just don't distinguish them by gender and instead call them and just point to commonalities of bad people in general. As an example, men gold-dig too. I'm focused on gold-digging as an example of red flags to look out for, rather than specifying it belongs to either gender. Likewise, while on the surface men and women cite different reasons for cheating, excusing cheating is wrong no matter … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 20/03/24 10:37 PM |
| 2 | Do men feel less guilty about dating autistic people compared to women?It's been a number of years now since my human genetics class, but my recollection is men tend to be more extreme in afflictions for most things in general. The Y chromosome is much smaller than the X, so if they carry any negative copies of any trait on the X only, it will be expressed much more dominantly. That said, nurture plays a role as well. Women are raised more social in general. We seem to tolerate as a society more when boys are 'loners' and keep to themselves. In the olden days, I th… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 20/03/24 09:55 PM |
| 1 | Do you think weaponised incompetence around housework exists? If not, why not? If so, where do you think it comes from?It seems to be the case in general for a lot of white-collar fields. The same thing happened with nursing (until covid), and I'm starting to see it even in STEM fields like programming (a lot of lower-level work is being automated away). People gravitate towards these fields because they are seemingly attainable work, but the sudden influx of supply of available workers mean wages get suppressed. While demand is high, colleges/universities/tech schools will open to fill the void and often charge… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 20/03/24 09:42 PM |
| 1 | Do you think weaponised incompetence around housework exists? If not, why not? If so, where do you think it comes from?so is it only wrong when i do it? You clarified in this exchange more than one throwaway comment, the same thing I did in the initial when I anchored it with my personal experience. Now we're both sharing our experiences. was it women friends? Are you saying my women friends aren't women? Or that they weren't friends? They're from my phd cohort, we knew them first before their partners. Our group is just nicely integrated. blaming a victim for not leaving instead of blaming the perpetrator for t… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 20/03/24 09:26 PM |
| 1 | Do you think weaponised incompetence around housework exists? If not, why not? If so, where do you think it comes from?it can also be underreported lol So why assume it's one instead of the other? Maybe we just have completely different life and social circles and the people I spend time with deal with a different dynamic? Maybe I lucked out and my social experiences have been curated to people who do the work, couples who go to therapy, etc. most of the time you can give the benefit of the doubt to your buddy over his partner Unless it's women friends? Or are guys only allowed to have guy friends as the primary… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 20/03/24 08:53 PM |
| 3 | Do you think weaponised incompetence around housework exists? If not, why not? If so, where do you think it comes from?Not only zero, but negative lifetime financial repercussions. My fiance works in law school accreditations. There are quite a number of law school diploma mills (and there used to be more during the height of the Great Recession). People took on six-figure debts only to find that their law degrees were largely useless, or if they're lucky take on a law-degree-advantaged jobs (jobs that actually benefit from a JD) with subpar pay. So many candidates would have been better off just doing a 9-5 off… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 20/03/24 08:05 PM |
| 2 | Do you think weaponised incompetence around housework exists? If not, why not? If so, where do you think it comes from?Sure, but the degree and frequency to which it exists can be exaggerated. Most of the time from what I've seen personally, it's not weaponized, it's just incompetence or mismatched standards, gaps that are both bridgeable with communication and willingness to work together. And neither here nor there, but any partner who stays with someone who weaponizes anything against them should reconsider being with them anyways. The only couples I know that actually display weaponized incompetence on eithe… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 20/03/24 07:53 PM |
| 2 | Do you think weaponised incompetence around housework exists? If not, why not? If so, where do you think it comes from?Funny enough, that's something that's a part of our "contract" as well. We have a deadline of 4pm on Sundays for our 'assigned' chores, so if one of us doesn't start until 3:59pm the other person can't complain (yet). For ad hoc things like taking out the trash, the person who will do it says "I'll will have it done by [X time]." The other person can request an expedite or negotiate, but everyone's on the same page and it doesn't feel like a violation of expectation on either side. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 20/03/24 05:41 PM |
| 5 | What are your thoughts on the fact that so many people glow up later in life?Idk how many is 'many' - I would say it's probably closer to like 10-20% at most. The vast majority of us don't really spike all that hard, there's a couple life moments where people 'evolve' to use the Pokemon term, but I think reality has proven that probably 70%+ of adults do not look better in their 30s than 20s. Unless someone knew you well, they'd assume based on life experience that you were probably always just as attractive now as you were back then. Is it reductionist? Absolutely. But … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 20/03/24 06:37 AM |
| 11 | Do you think weaponised incompetence around housework exists? If not, why not? If so, where do you think it comes from?Do you think weaponised incompetence around housework exists? I lean more towards incompetence/lack of know-how than malice. And the partner subsequently losing patience and assuming it all themselves. It's not necessarily one person's fault for 'nagging' or the other for incompetence - we would need more details I think. The neater one isn't always right if the things they focus on truly don't matter. Thus the original person does not get asked to do the task again. This is (to me) a sign that … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 20/03/24 06:03 AM |
| 48 | Why are women so keen on having male friendsAssuming you're a normal sociable person In this economy subreddit? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 20/03/24 05:43 AM |
| 21 | To the men who complain about lonelinessIn the last year I Dropped 40 pounds, finished school, got a job in my hopefully career field (which is where most my social interaction come from) as well as picking up some new hobbies. Also seeing a therapist too. Rooting for you, internet stranger. I hope things continue to progress for you. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 18/03/24 05:46 AM |
| 1 | In the Redpill, the general idea is that women want the "alpha" guy or the best of the best, both financially and biologically. It's also pretty known that men are not born equal.Well sure, you can say that whenever you want really. I've had many mentors over the years, and depending on the stage of life, you and them both realize your relationship sort of shifts from mentor-mentee to peers/equals. It's not a formal process really. You just sort of tap into them less and less frequently as you figure things out, and eventually there comes a time when they'll check in to see how you're doing, you'll tell them things are going really well, and thank them for all the time a… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 18/03/24 04:05 AM |
| 1 | In the Redpill, the general idea is that women want the "alpha" guy or the best of the best, both financially and biologically. It's also pretty known that men are not born equal.Idk your gym teacher, but I think you might be surprised how willing people are willing to help mentor those younger than us. He might be quite enthusiastic if you approach him asking for life guidance/mentoring. Seeing someone else take on your influence is a flattering thing for many adults. Giving away advice is free and something many people will do freely if they sense that are you are serious about following them (whether or not you actually will. Sometimes, the advice they give isn't alwa… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 18/03/24 02:39 AM |
| 1 | In the Redpill, the general idea is that women want the "alpha" guy or the best of the best, both financially and biologically. It's also pretty known that men are not born equal.What other choice do I have? Find supportive mentors in real life. It's what our ancestors did for the longest time, you know? The older, wiser guys show the ropes to their younger apprentices. This will apply for everything else you want to do later in life as well. Could you be completely self-taught? Absolutely. But you're going to spin your wheels and make fundamental mistakes for far longer without someone who might help you spot and clean up the mistakes quicker. Of course some of them are… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 18/03/24 02:28 AM |
| 1 | The "All women are 10's" phenomenon - How Male competition (overt) and female competition (covert) works and why female cooperation is leading women to delusionI disagree completely, to the extent that it's no more or less dehumanizing than any other descriptor label like fuckboi or gold-digger or Chad or Stacey. They're all short-hand descriptors of someone else and can't capture their totality of being any better either. Someone told they're 'eww' or a 3/10 or a creep or a weirdo or an incel is all the same endpoint. The dehumanizing aspect is when a label is foist upon you or wielded against you - in that regards, numbers are no different than any o… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 16/03/24 04:44 AM |
| 2 | The best way for men to weed out superficial women who are using them is to get separate orders on dates.No, we're both just at the six-figures mark and within $5k annual salary of each other. Even split bills and shared living space/finances. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 16/03/24 04:09 AM |
| 13 | The best way for men to weed out superficial women who are using them is to get separate orders on dates.When I was dating, I used to set up ‘coffee and walk’ dates. My fiance got my attention because she bought me a drink on our first date. She also showed up to the date a few minutes early and wasn't just 'running a few mins late' like most other people in the city. I jokingly told her that it placed her in like the 90th percentile just for those two things alone. One of my apartment neighbor who's in her early 20s recently complained that some guy split the first date bill with her and she was i… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 15/03/24 06:54 AM |
| 3 | The "All women are 10's" phenomenon - How Male competition (overt) and female competition (covert) works and why female cooperation is leading women to delusionEw, meh, pretty, hot is basically a 4-point rating scale by another name. It might be ordinal instead of interval which I think most 1-10 scale claims to be, but actual science on measurement types (psychometrics for those interested) have been around more than a century. You can probably ask any grad psych student to conduct a correlation study between that 4-scale and a 1-10 scale and I’ll bet the two are gonna be correlated like at least .6 anyways. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 15/03/24 12:37 AM |
| 1 | A thought experiment for menIdk lol, it’s widely known among car enthusiasts that cars are way better at attracting men admiring them (and by proxy the owner) than women. They do get plenty of flak. They just don’t get more flak than any other type of men-centric obsessions. I have found that men are much more obsessive with our hobbies (usually), but we have a lot more flavors of them, and the critique isn’t uniform since you sort of just steer to the group you enjoy being with. I struggle to think of too many women-domin… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 06/03/24 11:39 PM |
| 1 | A thought experiment for menStereotypes mostly. Sort of like someone obsessed with anime. Most enthusiasts are fine - the fanatic ruins it for the rest of us. I played Magic back in the day. Most of us are conventional. Some of us are even cool. But the low lows, the guys who don’t shower, throw loud tantrums when they lose, use card sleeves that are ‘art’ but is basically softcore porn…they give the community a really bad external image. They are a minority, but a loud and visible one. Likewise for the horse girls who are… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 06/03/24 10:42 PM |
| 5 | What do you think of going to college campuses as a non-student to get chicks?Sucks until like 30ish for work (nobody took me seriously as an expert/manager in my 20s when I look 15), but when your peers start to crack in the 30s and you still look mid-to-late 20s, it’s amazing. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 06/03/24 07:09 PM |
| 3 | Women often pretend they don’t show attractive men more respect as well. Why?OP also mentions work though, where looks definitely get men a leg-up and it’s honestly overlooked relative to how women’s looks are seen as both a blessing and a curse at work depending on context. I’m sure it’s not chicken vs. egg there: pretty privilege is just that. We were joking in the consulting sub the other day about the pretty boys who skate by on basic competence and second chances that unattractive people have to be highly competent to overcome. We rightly criticize when thirsty men … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 05/03/24 11:47 PM |
| 1 | The reason men "have such low standards" is because they assume that any woman they get with to change to fit the mold of their ideal life.I've seen it in the context of OLD. The ones who are good relationship material don't float around long, they find their partners and both disappear into the ether (you might get lucky if they break up, but if they're stable, then it can be as quick as a one-and-done). Meanwhile on the other extreme, the ones who are currently not relationship material will swirl about and mingle, so you'd end up seeing more of them and are more likely to have negative experiences. Sure, most of us are somewhere… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 29/02/24 07:55 PM |
| 2 | Q4M: When you ask women to rate someone, are you asking if she's attracted to them? Or are you asking what she thinks they're objective looks are on a 1-10 scale?Sure, but unless I want your rating specifically, your rating would be just one of however many people asked. It could of course be the case that the person asking is really tunneling in to your opinion on the matter. I’m sure this applies fairly often since word of mouth referrals is very much a thing in business. But I think a general understanding of ratings is more like looking at Amazon or Yelp. It’s a ratings ‘objectiveness’ by consensus. So to the question in your body, I don’t think the … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 29/02/24 01:20 AM |
| 8 | Q4M: When you ask women to rate someone, are you asking if she's attracted to them? Or are you asking what she thinks they're objective looks are on a 1-10 scale?A man (or woman) who’s objectively good-looking is going to attract more attention than just those belonging to the specific person rating. Like, yeah, some people find Henry Cavill, or Brad Pitt, or whoever mid. But most won’t. Rating someone is an 8 is different than saying they’re attractive to you, it’s acknowledging that they will be to most of your peers. I think most men rate at this more abstract level because despite wanting every woman to find us attractive, we know it’s a numbers game… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 29/02/24 12:52 AM |
| 1 | Are bluePillers more fortunate and privileged than redPillers ?With regard for empathy if we want more of it. We need to kill the idea of the just world fallacy. I'm not sure if we can, but certainly it would introduce healthier conditions for cultivating sympathy/empathy. I find a strong desire on this sub for people to do the either/or blame game where it's the individual's fault or the system's fault, but really both can be true. If you use capitalism for example, it is both possible for the individuals who work harder to outperform those who do less, wh… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 28/02/24 09:23 PM |
| 1 | Are bluePillers more fortunate and privileged than redPillers ?Its hard to reconcile this with my belief in personal agency and responsibility. Personal agency and responsibility doesn't mean you have maximal control, it never did. It just means within the extend you do have influence in your direction, you should tend to those. In your case, it's making sure you take the pills you need because that's likely the extent of actual agency you have over regulating your brain chemistry. And even in cases where you do have significant control, many are bound to s… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 28/02/24 08:18 PM |
| 6 | Do people not date based on their romantic feelings?Beyond supply and demand (just in terms of presence/absence), there's also ease, interest signal, and safety. Ease is self-evident, much easier to swipe and potentially "meet" 200 people on OLD than in real life per day. Interest signal is something I don't hear people talk about as much, but is also self-evident. If they're on OLD, they are presumably interested in something romantically. In real life, just because you meet the opposite gender on a daily basis, doesn't mean you meet people who … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 26/02/24 09:58 PM |
| 8 | Percentage of people that turn from romantic to "skeptical" about love and viceversaI imagine it's much easier to become jaded and traumatized by negative experiences. Negativity sticks and makes a much stronger impression than when things go 'correctly.' The opposite as you cited happens as well, though it would be hard to put a gauge on it. Happy people don't tend to go make social media posts about the state of dating, they just sort of do their own thing. I do know people who were raised to be suspicious of romance and advances and they 'lucked' into a good partner and stay… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 26/02/24 05:59 PM |
| 2 | What impact will SORA have on Hollywood? How will things like this affect wider political and sexual views?Just reacting to your predictions, but hey, maybe you'll be right. Hollywood will be hollowed out California as a state is 70/30 blue. Hollywood is just one player, and I'd argue a minor player in that. The coast cities are all blue, and cities overall trend blue everywhere in the US, from Texas to Alabama. You can argue that Houston and Austin and Atlanta are more conservative than LA, but relative to the rest of their states, they're blue bastions. Alternative Conservative Content We point to … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 25/02/24 09:40 PM |
| 3 | Do you think anyone's opinion will change?Do you, personally, think there is universal advice? Yes, but the advice are to get past screen-outs, they do not act as screen-ins. The distinction is important. To borrow from work psychology (my background), it's like a job placement calling for a person who knows how to use Excel. Knowing Excel or not is a screen-out, you need it at minimum to progress. But having Excel alone is not going to get you the job, other things start coming into play once that hurdle is cleared. Each hurdle cleared… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 25/02/24 08:55 PM |
| 16 | Can men just not be loved for who they actually are?How is it blackpilled to say love is conditional? If my fiancee cheats on me, I'm not going to love her anymore. If she spent our entire home and family savings on a girls' luxury trip, I'm probably going to reassess my love for her as well. None of this has anything to do with looks. The closest thing resembling unconditional love is probably a parent to their children, and even then plenty of people grew up in broken homes can attest that this isn't true either. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 25/02/24 08:40 PM |
| 4 | Do you think anyone's opinion will change?Reading this type of literature doesn't make me aware of less privileged men's suffering. It has long been a men's world but it has never been every man's world. I still feel like I have to peer around women't issues to see what men struggle with but I least I have a better awareness now than I did decades ago. This seems to be the pattern with my more mature feminist friends over the years. In our 20s they were all brimstone and fire about men's destructive/suppressing roles. Then at some point… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 25/02/24 08:30 PM |
| 2 | Do you think anyone's opinion will change?Like the title, just curious if anyone thinks that their opinions are going to change? Sure. I've softened on a lot of things over the 2-3 years I've browsed this sub. Reading arguments, even if I have no stake in the matter, helps clarify where my own thoughts might be, and it's not always what I'd expect. And if so: would it be science? anecdotes? I'm trained in science (and especially in psychological science, which is the bulk of what gets cited here), so I'm heavily in favor of science. Ane… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 25/02/24 08:22 PM |
| 1 | Do you feel like a lot of redpill or jaded men have undiagnosed neuro conditions?Reminds me of this classic from Socrates: "By all means, marry. If you get a good wife, you'll become happy; if you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher." | /r/PurplePillDebate | 24/02/24 08:41 PM |
| 3 | Do you feel like a lot of redpill or jaded men have undiagnosed neuro conditions?I don't think most people realize that therapy and treatment is also only like 20% of psychology as a whole (though among the most visible). My former field for instance (work psychology) has almost zero overlap with therapy at all. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 24/02/24 08:36 PM |
| 7 | Do you feel like a lot of redpill or jaded men have undiagnosed neuro conditions?I remembered when a new guy joined our grad program some years back, tall, brooding, jock-build, and of course just smart overall. Hung out with him the second weekend of grad school and he got selfie snaps from like 4 different women who were single in the program (of the 'what u doing, we should hang out sometime' vibe). I got none. He tried to play it off nicely as "I'm sure they've tried hitting you up before, they're just moving onto me now." Lol. Really sweet guy though once you get past t… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 24/02/24 08:32 PM |
| – | Why is it easier for women than men to get laid?if sex is street fight 6 men are playing on modern controls lol. its all simpler, easier because of that. I need more analogies like this on this sub tbh. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 24/02/24 08:24 PM |
| 1 | How will mass immigration affect dating and relationships?i am talking about future climate refugees tho, not current ones Then we should be careful to not project current gender ratios for migrants to refugees because the numbers will probably not apply. In formally recognized refugee scenarios like war (ex: Syrian civil war), the ratios are actually 50/50 split in gender because places that can take refugees have limited resources and tend to prioritize families with children. If reform goes through, it will most likely be families applying wholesale… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 24/02/24 08:03 PM |
| 1 | How will mass immigration affect dating and relationships?I responded to your 60/40 statistic about migrant workers. In some cases and communities, refugees are actually overwhelmingly women and children because the men are forcibly barred from leaving (ex: Ukraine, drafted for war). If you’re interested, the conversation around legal circles regarding climate refugee is actually red hot because, at this moment, they do not qualify and receive legal protections for being refugees (and are thus indistinguishable from migrants, either legal or illegal. W… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 24/02/24 06:50 PM |
| 3 | Money plays a minor role for genuine dating as a manWe can't throw the L-word around too much or else this thread will get the nuke, but overall, I'm inclined to agree that there's a hard-ish ceiling where looks is a huge part of it (some people get lucky). Michael Cera isn't gonna pull like prime George Clooney no matter how rich he gets. But within your range, money is part of what helps you maximize it. Maybe you've already achieved that threshold, so it has no further influence for you. Most people haven't however. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 24/02/24 04:18 AM |
| 2 | Money plays a minor role for genuine dating as a manSure but how does that convert to dates with women above your league? So this strays a bit away from the top-level question, which is whether or not money can make you more attractive. I contend it does by elevating your personal league, which you seem to agree with (so like through money, you used it to clean up and go from a 4 to a 6). If your question is about making you more attractive to the extent that you can date above your league, then I think that's asking wealth to do something very f… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 24/02/24 03:59 AM |
| 2 | Money plays a minor role for genuine dating as a manWhile things like finances matter down the road, it's not that relevant when you're starting out and trying to get a first or second date. Well, I think you're sort of pointing out when it does make a difference, when you sustain a longer-term courtship or access social dating circles that the 8 who makes $50k a year can't access. Unless you're only focused on looks, there's a league in lifestyle and connections too. Money doesn't make you more attractive in the abstract, it gives you a means to… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 24/02/24 03:21 AM |
| -2 | How will mass immigration affect dating and relationships?no it implies men are not protectors helping "women and children first" (a myth that has never been true), but instead help themselves get to a safer place without their families ...Do you speak to migrant families often or at all? This is about as far off-base as anything I've read in a long time. They often send the guy because he's the most expendable. Unless they can afford to come through the legal channels, border crossing is dangerous and the expectation is that manual labor is the only w… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 24/02/24 01:45 AM |
| 2 | How will mass immigration affect dating and relationships?Well, that would imply here are now more women than men in those immigrants’ native countries, right? Sounds like the passport bros might be clueing into something after all… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 24/02/24 12:25 AM |
| 15 | How will mass immigration affect dating and relationships?A lot more interracial couplings, and short-term probably more distilled pockets of varying dating cultures (though it will homogenize over time, just as second and third-generation children of immigrants slowly assimilate and become indistinguishable culturally from their peers). Being a first-gen immigrant myself (arrived at 8), I definitely had some 'fresh off the boat' tendencies and assumptions that took a few years to shake off. But you figure out the meta, and then you adjust. And not to … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 23/02/24 07:27 PM |
| – | I’m sick of women saying “tHe bAr iS sO LoW” and that all you have to do is take a shower and text back. How can there be an honest debate here when they tell bold faced lies like this?Ah, I skipped the “all you have to do” part past the “bar is so low” part. Fair enough. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 23/02/24 05:35 PM |
| – | I’m sick of women saying “tHe bAr iS sO LoW” and that all you have to do is take a shower and text back. How can there be an honest debate here when they tell bold faced lies like this?You’ve never seen a variation of “the bar is so low” before? Like, I’ve been out of the dating game for a few years now and I still hear my single friends complain about it (and have certainly seen posts and comments here, 2X, dating, relationship-advice, etc. using that phrase). | /r/PurplePillDebate | 23/02/24 05:26 PM |
| 2 | Q4M: Would you date a broke woman?It got me to wondering, would the males in here date a woman who is broke? When I was also broke, yes. Nowadays, big hesitate. Lives in her mom's basement? Irrelevant mostly. She could stay in the attic, on the first floor, wherever. The reasoning matters more. Plays video games all day? I love me some vid games, but all day would be a stretch even for me. Struggling with debt? Most people in the Millennial and Gen Z will probably have debt. It depends how much and why. Why or why not? Because m… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 22/02/24 05:52 PM |
| – | What do you honestly think about 22yo male virgins?What are your honest opinions about guys that are virgins in their early 20s. At what age do you start to think there's something wrong with him? There's more of them nowadays than in the past I would hazard. We can blame technology, isolation, upbringing, the economy...whatever. It's clear we're reaching a new normal where relationship milestones are happening at later ages for a sizable number of men. So I wouldn't think much of it, perhaps sympathy if he seems down on himself, but unless it's… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 22/02/24 06:12 AM |
| 5 | You're focused on the wrong qualities that are triggering her lust: He's more attractive than you because he's more masculine, not because he's an asshole.Well, kids express intellect too, so I wouldn't say that necessarily. Smarter people as it were would learn from their experiences faster, retain the knowledge longer, and make fewer mistakes later on based on their prior experiences. We know the kids and many adults who can't help but make the same mistakes over and over. They're not particularly attractive (as friends or romantic prospects) despite all their experiences in those cases, most likely in spite of it. If anything, I contend that in… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 22/02/24 05:25 AM |
| 4 | This is how women sound when saying "I'm giving the ugly guy a chance".Love goggles are a thing. That and having sex regularly (especially if good) makes a lot of "needs" into nice-to-haves. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 21/02/24 04:28 AM |
| 4 | Is most of dating dynamics about who is the most “parent”? Who can appear as the most high status individual? Is there no equal relationship?which would inevitably once again cause a housing crisis since demand would skyrocket. I didn't know the housing crisis ever left. At least not around these parts of the US (Midwest large city) lol. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 19/02/24 07:31 PM |
| 1 | How has your image of how life 'should' go contrasted with your actual lived reality? Do you feel as though you've missed seemingly 'obvious' milestones/rites of passage for someone at your stage of life? Have you 'fallen through the cracks' and how do you regard your future prospect?It's good to hear that you are optimistic about your odds in the future. I will say it's not as dire as you think, as many in your cohort are seemingly grappling with relationships at a young age. Even in my cohort roughly 10 years above yours, I was part of the contingent who did not lose my virginity until the 20s, and looking back I would say I've come along nicely. I wish you the best. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 19/02/24 05:46 PM |
| 1 | How has your image of how life 'should' go contrasted with your actual lived reality? Do you feel as though you've missed seemingly 'obvious' milestones/rites of passage for someone at your stage of life? Have you 'fallen through the cracks' and how do you regard your future prospect?I'm sorry to hear that you're struggling with it. I hope you find a path forward to your liking. Best wishes from an internet stranger. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 19/02/24 05:45 PM |
| 1 | How has your image of how life 'should' go contrasted with your actual lived reality? Do you feel as though you've missed seemingly 'obvious' milestones/rites of passage for someone at your stage of life? Have you 'fallen through the cracks' and how do you regard your future prospect?Thanks for sharing your perspective, I wish you the best as an internet stranger could. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 19/02/24 05:44 PM |
| 3 | Is the default world view blue pill or purple pill?I don't think there's a default because it's so locally dependent. If I had to say one thing, it's probably purple, but that's only due to there being no overarching pillars that we all point to and say that's definitely a blue-only position. Even within RP, you have many people disagree on what all the specific pillars are. Even then, within the same society you have subgroups that vary. You can abstract away all the specifics and boil it down to looks/game/status or personality/vibes/values, b… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 16/02/24 07:05 PM |
| 2 | If a man is failing to attract the women he wants, and he is a good person, what options does he have aside from lowering his standards or giving up?I think RP could actually get a lot more general sympathy and probably even elicit agreement on a wider base if the adherents marketed/PR their concepts better. I'm very much a function over form kind of guy, but many 'distinction without a difference' very much makes a difference to a third-party looking in. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 16/02/24 06:24 PM |
| 2 | How has your image of how life 'should' go contrasted with your actual lived reality? Do you feel as though you've missed seemingly 'obvious' milestones/rites of passage for someone at your stage of life? Have you 'fallen through the cracks' and how do you regard your future prospect?I'm glad to hear that you are finding a quiet peace and happiness in where you are at. You are right, housing is definitely a huge issue (here in the States as well). You are a lot like one of my good friends since grade school actually, he loves his hobbies and is to my knowledge not really all that interested in dating. He's not opposed to it, but I think at this point he would not pursue someone else unless they pursued him first. I wish you the best and that you continue to find your peace a… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 16/02/24 05:55 PM |
| 1 | How has your image of how life 'should' go contrasted with your actual lived reality? Do you feel as though you've missed seemingly 'obvious' milestones/rites of passage for someone at your stage of life? Have you 'fallen through the cracks' and how do you regard your future prospect?Sorry to hear that you have an invisible demon to fight that people can't see. I relate to your sense of being questioned about being unable to live up to peers. I have Asian parents, and well, they tend to do the social comparison thing a lot when we were still trying to get established in the States as first-gen immigrants. I can only imagine how much harder life is with a constant health issue just gnawing away at the edge of sanity. I hope things break out better for you in the coming future… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 16/02/24 05:53 PM |
| 1 | How has your image of how life 'should' go contrasted with your actual lived reality? Do you feel as though you've missed seemingly 'obvious' milestones/rites of passage for someone at your stage of life? Have you 'fallen through the cracks' and how do you regard your future prospect?That's awesome, I hope things continue to work out for you. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 16/02/24 05:50 PM |
| 2 | How has your image of how life 'should' go contrasted with your actual lived reality? Do you feel as though you've missed seemingly 'obvious' milestones/rites of passage for someone at your stage of life? Have you 'fallen through the cracks' and how do you regard your future prospect?Can't change the past, right? We can only learn from it. At 29, I think you are still young enough to find the love you're looking for. It's definitely a generational thing that I think we're all grappling with. I'm a few years ahead of you, but it wasn't until 30-31 that things really ticked up for me noticeably in the LTR department. I wish you the best in finding the happiness you seek. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 16/02/24 05:50 PM |
| 2 | How has your image of how life 'should' go contrasted with your actual lived reality? Do you feel as though you've missed seemingly 'obvious' milestones/rites of passage for someone at your stage of life? Have you 'fallen through the cracks' and how do you regard your future prospect?Thanks for sharing. I do think it's fascinating how many of us find ourselves in jobs and roles and stories we could not have imagined based on where we started in life. It sounds like you have a wonderful partner. And yes, I relate to the weight lol. At 35, I'm finding it an increasingly uphill battle, one where if I maintain where I'm at alone by 40, would be considered a victory. I wish you the best in your future. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 16/02/24 05:47 PM |
| 1 | How has your image of how life 'should' go contrasted with your actual lived reality? Do you feel as though you've missed seemingly 'obvious' milestones/rites of passage for someone at your stage of life? Have you 'fallen through the cracks' and how do you regard your future prospect?Sorry to hear that things haven't worked out for you. I wish you the best as much as an internet stranger could. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 16/02/24 05:44 PM |
| 1 | How has your image of how life 'should' go contrasted with your actual lived reality? Do you feel as though you've missed seemingly 'obvious' milestones/rites of passage for someone at your stage of life? Have you 'fallen through the cracks' and how do you regard your future prospect?I work in legal and this is a reality for law degrees as well. There are far more people interested in a law career (and in the attractive ones like litigation as opposed to, say, patent) than there are available spots. And they are drawn to places that have gluts (big cities like NYC) vs. places that are struggling to place any lawyers at all (rural areas). Nursing was undergoing a similar issue until Covid-19 became a thing. It was sort of seen as one of the more obtainable professions for tho… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 16/02/24 05:44 PM |
| 2 | How has your image of how life 'should' go contrasted with your actual lived reality? Do you feel as though you've missed seemingly 'obvious' milestones/rites of passage for someone at your stage of life? Have you 'fallen through the cracks' and how do you regard your future prospect?Yeah, I think people get lost in the vitriol sometimes, but I recognize many of these usernames for being frequent commenters, and some of them I have disagreed with a great deal. It doesn't mean we don't all have a story beyond these threads though. I don't think most people intend to be mean, negative, grouchy, evil, etc. Usually, negative life experiences accumulate and wear them down. Some people are good and kind-hearted despite it all, but I think it's unrealistic to expect that from every… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 15/02/24 11:42 PM |
| 10 | We overestimate the effort needed from women to date elite men while also undereatimating how difficult for men to date beautiful womenThis is why when people say here that they're an average guy who wants an average girl, I have to pause and see what they mean. Most 'average' girl people describe here are top 30%, and that's before factoring in non-tangibles like a positive and pleasant personality. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 15/02/24 11:04 PM |
| 2 | How has your image of how life 'should' go contrasted with your actual lived reality? Do you feel as though you've missed seemingly 'obvious' milestones/rites of passage for someone at your stage of life? Have you 'fallen through the cracks' and how do you regard your future prospect?Appreciate hearing your perspective, it does sound like things are sort of headed in a better direction despite your rough start. Best wishes to you from an internet stranger. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 15/02/24 10:55 PM |
| 3 | The myth that single women are happier according to polls, is just that, a myth.Another pet peeve for me are videos used for evidence (Tik Tok or otherwise). It's so easy to film rage-bait and publish them. You never know how many takes it took to get to the certain outcome portrayed, and that one soundbite is apparently all-confirming. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 15/02/24 10:28 PM |
| 2 | How has your image of how life 'should' go contrasted with your actual lived reality? Do you feel as though you've missed seemingly 'obvious' milestones/rites of passage for someone at your stage of life? Have you 'fallen through the cracks' and how do you regard your future prospect?You share a few similarities with my fiancée's good friend here in our city. She has her own place, a teaching job, a kind heart (she volunteers and gives back to her community of faith), etc. She still has desire to find a guy and possibly start a family, though at her current timeline (late 30s), she's starting to feel despondent. Men from her community who are interested in families and such are typically already taken, and she's started to look outward for a few dates but has otherwise been … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 15/02/24 10:12 PM |
| 1 | How has your image of how life 'should' go contrasted with your actual lived reality? Do you feel as though you've missed seemingly 'obvious' milestones/rites of passage for someone at your stage of life? Have you 'fallen through the cracks' and how do you regard your future prospect?Can't say much about how a person looks and having similar issues, but it does sound like you had a few hard bumps along the road. At least it sounds like things are finally smoothing a bit, best wishes for your next few numbered bullet points. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 15/02/24 10:06 PM |
| 2 | How has your image of how life 'should' go contrasted with your actual lived reality? Do you feel as though you've missed seemingly 'obvious' milestones/rites of passage for someone at your stage of life? Have you 'fallen through the cracks' and how do you regard your future prospect?Sounds promising and I wish you the best in the upcoming years. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 15/02/24 10:04 PM |
| 2 | How has your image of how life 'should' go contrasted with your actual lived reality? Do you feel as though you've missed seemingly 'obvious' milestones/rites of passage for someone at your stage of life? Have you 'fallen through the cracks' and how do you regard your future prospect?Sorry to hear that, if I recall from some of our other conversations, you are quite advanced in age as well, so the windows to have a shift in career is not a highly realistic option these days. But I do wish you the best, however that translates to your life personally. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 15/02/24 07:24 PM |
| 2 | How has your image of how life 'should' go contrasted with your actual lived reality? Do you feel as though you've missed seemingly 'obvious' milestones/rites of passage for someone at your stage of life? Have you 'fallen through the cracks' and how do you regard your future prospect?I don't suppose you'd study it for just personal fulfillment these days if you still desire to? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 15/02/24 07:09 PM |
| 1 | How has your image of how life 'should' go contrasted with your actual lived reality? Do you feel as though you've missed seemingly 'obvious' milestones/rites of passage for someone at your stage of life? Have you 'fallen through the cracks' and how do you regard your future prospect?Things definitely look different now than they were 20-30 years ago, that's for sure. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 15/02/24 06:43 PM |
| 1 | How has your image of how life 'should' go contrasted with your actual lived reality? Do you feel as though you've missed seemingly 'obvious' milestones/rites of passage for someone at your stage of life? Have you 'fallen through the cracks' and how do you regard your future prospect?It sounded like you did arrived at a better spot though, and I think that's something to be proud of. Best wishes for you in the future from an internet stranger. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 15/02/24 06:37 PM |
| 1 | How has your image of how life 'should' go contrasted with your actual lived reality? Do you feel as though you've missed seemingly 'obvious' milestones/rites of passage for someone at your stage of life? Have you 'fallen through the cracks' and how do you regard your future prospect?I wish you the best as could from an internet stranger. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 15/02/24 06:36 PM |
| 1 | How has your image of how life 'should' go contrasted with your actual lived reality? Do you feel as though you've missed seemingly 'obvious' milestones/rites of passage for someone at your stage of life? Have you 'fallen through the cracks' and how do you regard your future prospect?I will say it's a pretty good skill to navigate the world with as you get older and can't rely as much on people giving passes. And perhaps you will adapt to that as you age. Either way, I wish you the best from an internet stranger. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 15/02/24 06:34 PM |
| 1 | How has your image of how life 'should' go contrasted with your actual lived reality? Do you feel as though you've missed seemingly 'obvious' milestones/rites of passage for someone at your stage of life? Have you 'fallen through the cracks' and how do you regard your future prospect?Sounds like you got much of what you've desired out of your life journey and are fairly at peace with it. That's admirable. Best wishes to you from an internet stranger. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 15/02/24 06:33 PM |
| 1 | How has your image of how life 'should' go contrasted with your actual lived reality? Do you feel as though you've missed seemingly 'obvious' milestones/rites of passage for someone at your stage of life? Have you 'fallen through the cracks' and how do you regard your future prospect?Sounds like you did the best given your opportunities, I think that's something to be proud of. Best wishes for you from an internet stranger. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 15/02/24 06:32 PM |
| 2 | How has your image of how life 'should' go contrasted with your actual lived reality? Do you feel as though you've missed seemingly 'obvious' milestones/rites of passage for someone at your stage of life? Have you 'fallen through the cracks' and how do you regard your future prospect?I think it's sort of like voting: it'll never turn a no into a yes (that's on the other person), it can help a maybe into a yes but that requires 'vibes' for not wanting to use more detailed terms, and it keeps a yes as a yes. Yeah, I don't mean to imply it has to be productive (in the capitalist sense). Simply learning to love yourself is an accomplishment in itself, and something as simple as me writing and completing a short story/poem while I was struggling mentally signaled to me I can do t… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 15/02/24 06:27 PM |
| 2 | How has your image of how life 'should' go contrasted with your actual lived reality? Do you feel as though you've missed seemingly 'obvious' milestones/rites of passage for someone at your stage of life? Have you 'fallen through the cracks' and how do you regard your future prospect?I wafer back and forth on if it 'attracts' women so much as it helps get you noticed. It's sort of like a branding thing - if she was never interested, she still won't be, but if she was then it's an easier way to grab her attention. Ultimately, I think it helps anyways because a person who strives to improve their lot in life will, like you experienced, become a much fuller version of themselves than one who just stagnates by. I played a ton of LoL during grad school for example, and while I ha… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 15/02/24 06:07 PM |
| 2 | How has your image of how life 'should' go contrasted with your actual lived reality? Do you feel as though you've missed seemingly 'obvious' milestones/rites of passage for someone at your stage of life? Have you 'fallen through the cracks' and how do you regard your future prospect?I hope your continual will yield the fruits that you desire. Best wishes from an internet stranger. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 15/02/24 05:46 PM |
| 1 | How has your image of how life 'should' go contrasted with your actual lived reality? Do you feel as though you've missed seemingly 'obvious' milestones/rites of passage for someone at your stage of life? Have you 'fallen through the cracks' and how do you regard your future prospect?Having grown up overseas, I think that's pretty common, but yes in the US it's certainly a sign that the idyllic American dream hasn't been reality for a while now for the lower class, and increasingly creeping into the middle class as well. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 15/02/24 05:44 PM |
| 2 | How has your image of how life 'should' go contrasted with your actual lived reality? Do you feel as though you've missed seemingly 'obvious' milestones/rites of passage for someone at your stage of life? Have you 'fallen through the cracks' and how do you regard your future prospect?Yeah, it's definitely not great. Early on in my career, I also got two jobs and got let go after ~3 months in each. It was humbling, frustrating, depressing, all the things. Better now, but I do not wish that experience on anyone. I hope things get better for you two in the year to come. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 15/02/24 05:42 PM |
| 1 | How has your image of how life 'should' go contrasted with your actual lived reality? Do you feel as though you've missed seemingly 'obvious' milestones/rites of passage for someone at your stage of life? Have you 'fallen through the cracks' and how do you regard your future prospect?Two seems modestly doable. I hope you achieve that desire. And I hope your kid can see and appreciate the efforts you put in to ensure him a better life than you had. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 15/02/24 05:40 PM |
| 2 | How has your image of how life 'should' go contrasted with your actual lived reality? Do you feel as though you've missed seemingly 'obvious' milestones/rites of passage for someone at your stage of life? Have you 'fallen through the cracks' and how do you regard your future prospect?I'm glad to hear. Our inner critic is often the loudest and not always the most supportive despite knowing more of our journey than anyone else could. I hope you take that newfound confidence out there and continue to make waves. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 15/02/24 05:38 PM |
| 2 | How has your image of how life 'should' go contrasted with your actual lived reality? Do you feel as though you've missed seemingly 'obvious' milestones/rites of passage for someone at your stage of life? Have you 'fallen through the cracks' and how do you regard your future prospect?Sorry to hear that. I hope reality will eventually exceed your modest expectations. Best wishes from an internet stranger. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 15/02/24 05:35 PM |
| 1 | How has your image of how life 'should' go contrasted with your actual lived reality? Do you feel as though you've missed seemingly 'obvious' milestones/rites of passage for someone at your stage of life? Have you 'fallen through the cracks' and how do you regard your future prospect?I suppose that depends on you and how you treat those around you. I'm no saint, but I'm proud of a few things I've done for friends and loved ones to help them get on their feet here and there. No judgment either way, we are all humans and have our limitations. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 15/02/24 05:34 PM |
| 1 | How has your image of how life 'should' go contrasted with your actual lived reality? Do you feel as though you've missed seemingly 'obvious' milestones/rites of passage for someone at your stage of life? Have you 'fallen through the cracks' and how do you regard your future prospect?I'm glad you got to have the experiences you did. Best wishes for you no and into the future. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 15/02/24 05:31 PM |
| 1 | How has your image of how life 'should' go contrasted with your actual lived reality? Do you feel as though you've missed seemingly 'obvious' milestones/rites of passage for someone at your stage of life? Have you 'fallen through the cracks' and how do you regard your future prospect?That's great, I'm glad things are working out for you. Best wishes and take care of you and yours. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 15/02/24 05:31 PM |
| 2 | How has your image of how life 'should' go contrasted with your actual lived reality? Do you feel as though you've missed seemingly 'obvious' milestones/rites of passage for someone at your stage of life? Have you 'fallen through the cracks' and how do you regard your future prospect?It's a healthy mindset to be sure, and you're right there's more than one way to live a good life. But there are also common markers for a reason, and if you find yourself failing to overcome them (sometimes repeatedly), it can be a focus to reflect on and learn some things about yourself. I'm happy for those (like my brother) who enjoys a 'simple' life and knew what he wanted since 19 (a family with kids where he gets to play the primary provider role). I wanted a bit different, and sometimes i… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 15/02/24 05:30 PM |
| 1 | How has your image of how life 'should' go contrasted with your actual lived reality? Do you feel as though you've missed seemingly 'obvious' milestones/rites of passage for someone at your stage of life? Have you 'fallen through the cracks' and how do you regard your future prospect?I do largely agree with that. However, it is also important to reflect on our weaknesses as well as our strengths, and sometimes that takes the form of figuring out why (if any of it is personal) we can't seem to cross a checkmark. My early career sputtering was a great lesson in discovery of my habits that made professional work a question mark, and I needed those moments to recalibrate and ultimately break through. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 15/02/24 05:26 PM |
| 2 | How has your image of how life 'should' go contrasted with your actual lived reality? Do you feel as though you've missed seemingly 'obvious' milestones/rites of passage for someone at your stage of life? Have you 'fallen through the cracks' and how do you regard your future prospect?I grappled hard when I was coming to terms that I did not want to finish my PhD. I think in part the mentality that led one to pursue it to begin with is why it's so hard to abandon it. But on the other side for some years now, I don't think it's so bad. Like you, I have dreams on some days of going back, knowing I was just a dissertation away. However, life and I had other plans, and we still made the most of what we did get out of the program. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 15/02/24 05:24 PM |
| 1 | How has your image of how life 'should' go contrasted with your actual lived reality? Do you feel as though you've missed seemingly 'obvious' milestones/rites of passage for someone at your stage of life? Have you 'fallen through the cracks' and how do you regard your future prospect?Sure, the grass always appear greener somewhere else. But I do think when you survey your cohort of peers, you get a sense of what's reasonable for the present moment (even if you consider the current generation is less likely to have the same milestones of a different one). | /r/PurplePillDebate | 15/02/24 05:21 PM |
| 2 | How has your image of how life 'should' go contrasted with your actual lived reality? Do you feel as though you've missed seemingly 'obvious' milestones/rites of passage for someone at your stage of life? Have you 'fallen through the cracks' and how do you regard your future prospect?We're grappling with that now, as we are slated to get married by end of year and then trying for a child. But we are in a 1BR apartment and housing prices are absurd. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 15/02/24 05:20 PM |
| 2 | How has your image of how life 'should' go contrasted with your actual lived reality? Do you feel as though you've missed seemingly 'obvious' milestones/rites of passage for someone at your stage of life? Have you 'fallen through the cracks' and how do you regard your future prospect?I think it's always easier to see our misses than our hits, because we only expect to land the hits and not the setbacks of when we don't. But I'm happy to know you are still around and I wish you the best as an internet stranger could. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 15/02/24 05:19 PM |
| 2 | How has your image of how life 'should' go contrasted with your actual lived reality? Do you feel as though you've missed seemingly 'obvious' milestones/rites of passage for someone at your stage of life? Have you 'fallen through the cracks' and how do you regard your future prospect?I think you're stumbling upon a conundrum many young men go through. We're told often we should want the experience even if it's not the most enjoyable because otherwise, you'd miss out and who knows when the next opportunity is. But yes, a partner you enjoy being with, truly, is another level. I hope you find that person. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 15/02/24 05:18 PM |
| 1 | How has your image of how life 'should' go contrasted with your actual lived reality? Do you feel as though you've missed seemingly 'obvious' milestones/rites of passage for someone at your stage of life? Have you 'fallen through the cracks' and how do you regard your future prospect?You're sort of like my partner, for whom I'm her first major romantic breakthrough since her 20s (we met when she turned 31). And yeah, once you get an opportunity, the breakthroughs come quick. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 15/02/24 05:16 PM |
| 2 | How has your image of how life 'should' go contrasted with your actual lived reality? Do you feel as though you've missed seemingly 'obvious' milestones/rites of passage for someone at your stage of life? Have you 'fallen through the cracks' and how do you regard your future prospect?I do think your story is fairly typical for those of our generation, though buying a house/having children is definitely not as common these days. Interestingly, my brother and I are sort of in that split. He got married at 22 and had 2 kids. I'm now engaged at 35, and maybe 1 kid or 2 depending on our timeline. We experienced both sides of the generational gap despite being only 2 years apart. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 15/02/24 05:14 PM |
| 2 | How has your image of how life 'should' go contrasted with your actual lived reality? Do you feel as though you've missed seemingly 'obvious' milestones/rites of passage for someone at your stage of life? Have you 'fallen through the cracks' and how do you regard your future prospect?It does sound like you got to have a taste of some aspects of life that others on this thread are still struggling to piece together for the first time. I hope the best for you as much as a stranger on the internet could. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 15/02/24 05:12 PM |
| 1 | How has your image of how life 'should' go contrasted with your actual lived reality? Do you feel as though you've missed seemingly 'obvious' milestones/rites of passage for someone at your stage of life? Have you 'fallen through the cracks' and how do you regard your future prospect?I'd argue that on some days I'd be happier overall working manual labor (I had a great time in my early 20s stocking grocery shelves and then hitting the bars after with the mates), but it just doesn't pay what it does to maintain a steady life or even a family these days. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 15/02/24 05:10 PM |
| 1 | How has your image of how life 'should' go contrasted with your actual lived reality? Do you feel as though you've missed seemingly 'obvious' milestones/rites of passage for someone at your stage of life? Have you 'fallen through the cracks' and how do you regard your future prospect?So I get that you're anchoring the 'pointlessness' of the human experience against the backdrop of our unfathomably big and indifferent universe...but what is it you want? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 15/02/24 05:08 PM |
| 1 | How has your image of how life 'should' go contrasted with your actual lived reality? Do you feel as though you've missed seemingly 'obvious' milestones/rites of passage for someone at your stage of life? Have you 'fallen through the cracks' and how do you regard your future prospect?I'm sorry to hear that. I wish you well as best an internet person could. That said, I do hope you ease up on yourself a little. It's hard enough to live in a world full of critics, we should at least have an understanding one in ourselves at our corner. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 15/02/24 05:06 PM |
| 2 | How has your image of how life 'should' go contrasted with your actual lived reality? Do you feel as though you've missed seemingly 'obvious' milestones/rites of passage for someone at your stage of life? Have you 'fallen through the cracks' and how do you regard your future prospect?Yeah, healthcare is becoming ever more precarious for us in the States. Partner and I are lucky we have well-paying jobs, but I think about my aging parents and how they're basically going to rely on SS since what little they've scrounged into their 401k has been chipped away over the years. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 15/02/24 05:04 PM |
| 1 | How has your image of how life 'should' go contrasted with your actual lived reality? Do you feel as though you've missed seemingly 'obvious' milestones/rites of passage for someone at your stage of life? Have you 'fallen through the cracks' and how do you regard your future prospect?I'm sorry to hear things have been so hard for you. Not about to offer empty platitudes, but I do wish you the best as an internet stranger could. Thank you for sharing your perspective. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 15/02/24 05:01 PM |
| 1 | How has your image of how life 'should' go contrasted with your actual lived reality? Do you feel as though you've missed seemingly 'obvious' milestones/rites of passage for someone at your stage of life? Have you 'fallen through the cracks' and how do you regard your future prospect?It sounds like you are also showing the same fortitude and endurance of your father. If you will allow it, I an internet stranger am proud of your resilience and accomplishments despite the odds. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 15/02/24 04:59 PM |
| 2 | How has your image of how life 'should' go contrasted with your actual lived reality? Do you feel as though you've missed seemingly 'obvious' milestones/rites of passage for someone at your stage of life? Have you 'fallen through the cracks' and how do you regard your future prospect?Yeah, I think ultimately your life experience seems typical of what many to most go through these days. I don’t think it’s right (not that I’m that far ahead of you, I entered college just after the ‘08 global recession), but it’s true most of the life snapshots we grew up with isn’t going to happen. Best of luck out there. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 15/02/24 04:42 PM |
| 2 | How has your image of how life 'should' go contrasted with your actual lived reality? Do you feel as though you've missed seemingly 'obvious' milestones/rites of passage for someone at your stage of life? Have you 'fallen through the cracks' and how do you regard your future prospect?Can’t change the past, but we can always learn from it. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 15/02/24 04:39 PM |
| 1 | How has your image of how life 'should' go contrasted with your actual lived reality? Do you feel as though you've missed seemingly 'obvious' milestones/rites of passage for someone at your stage of life? Have you 'fallen through the cracks' and how do you regard your future prospect?I’m happy for you and her. My partner has certainly been instrumental in altering the timeline for the better with some of our shared goals. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 15/02/24 04:35 PM |
| 1 | How has your image of how life 'should' go contrasted with your actual lived reality? Do you feel as though you've missed seemingly 'obvious' milestones/rites of passage for someone at your stage of life? Have you 'fallen through the cracks' and how do you regard your future prospect?I’m sorry to hear that you’ve arrived at that conclusion. I hope you well as much as an internet stranger could. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 15/02/24 04:34 PM |
| 1 | How has your image of how life 'should' go contrasted with your actual lived reality? Do you feel as though you've missed seemingly 'obvious' milestones/rites of passage for someone at your stage of life? Have you 'fallen through the cracks' and how do you regard your future prospect?Hey man, I’ve seen snippets of your stories throughout, I hope you are making the most of this year with your aspirations for a healthier life physically. Hang in there. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 15/02/24 04:34 PM |
| 1 | How has your image of how life 'should' go contrasted with your actual lived reality? Do you feel as though you've missed seemingly 'obvious' milestones/rites of passage for someone at your stage of life? Have you 'fallen through the cracks' and how do you regard your future prospect?It took me a while to break into professional work despite having advanced degrees. It felt like I was stuck in that zone where I hadn’t enough professional experience to be hire green, but had too much credentials that it’s not worth paying me extra for it relative to someone with much less. So on that end, I sputtered quite a while. Nowadays, all the extra knowledge and training is of course a huge plus with some years under my belt, but for a while it felt like a liability. Relationship-wise,… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 15/02/24 04:33 PM |
| 2 | How has your image of how life 'should' go contrasted with your actual lived reality? Do you feel as though you've missed seemingly 'obvious' milestones/rites of passage for someone at your stage of life? Have you 'fallen through the cracks' and how do you regard your future prospect?What pill would you say you were before? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 15/02/24 04:28 PM |
| 1 | How has your image of how life 'should' go contrasted with your actual lived reality? Do you feel as though you've missed seemingly 'obvious' milestones/rites of passage for someone at your stage of life? Have you 'fallen through the cracks' and how do you regard your future prospect?Sort of like my fiancée actually. I am her first many major relationship milestones. She was well-learned, cultured, and had a good blossoming career but never quite made the romantic aspect worked until we met. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 15/02/24 04:27 PM |
| 2 | How has your image of how life 'should' go contrasted with your actual lived reality? Do you feel as though you've missed seemingly 'obvious' milestones/rites of passage for someone at your stage of life? Have you 'fallen through the cracks' and how do you regard your future prospect?I’m pretty sure we don’t agree on most things on PPD, but I appreciate your perspective (however unfortunate it was that got you to have arrived at it). I wish the best for you, as much as a stranger could. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 15/02/24 04:24 PM |
| 3 | How has your image of how life 'should' go contrasted with your actual lived reality? Do you feel as though you've missed seemingly 'obvious' milestones/rites of passage for someone at your stage of life? Have you 'fallen through the cracks' and how do you regard your future prospect?Watching people succeeded when I was sputtering was definitely a hard reality to accept. If you had to change something to be more okay, what would it be? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 15/02/24 04:19 PM |
| 2 | How has your image of how life 'should' go contrasted with your actual lived reality? Do you feel as though you've missed seemingly 'obvious' milestones/rites of passage for someone at your stage of life? Have you 'fallen through the cracks' and how do you regard your future prospect?I’m sorry to hear that. I wish the best for you as much as a stranger could. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 15/02/24 04:17 PM |
| 2 | How has your image of how life 'should' go contrasted with your actual lived reality? Do you feel as though you've missed seemingly 'obvious' milestones/rites of passage for someone at your stage of life? Have you 'fallen through the cracks' and how do you regard your future prospect?My lack of success for a few years did certainly make me much more humble and understanding, both for myself and others, who struggle to make a big break. I wish the best for you as a stranger could. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 15/02/24 04:16 PM |
| 2 | How has your image of how life 'should' go contrasted with your actual lived reality? Do you feel as though you've missed seemingly 'obvious' milestones/rites of passage for someone at your stage of life? Have you 'fallen through the cracks' and how do you regard your future prospect?Are you currently in your 30s? And if you had to pin it, what were some of your bigger barriers in the romance/intimacy department? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 15/02/24 04:14 PM |
| – | Women are becoming increasingly less feminine and exhibiting masculine traits that most men find unattractive, yet due to desperation and simping they have no motivation to stopthis boy's favorite color is... purple Purple used to be a color worn only by royalty and the rich in the Roman times because it was so hard to come by. They definitely do not consider it feminine. Side note: I love me the color purple. You get the best of both red + blue. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 13/02/24 07:22 PM |
| 1 | Why do for a stranger what you don't want to do for your partner?So, a reversed-gender Madonna/Whore complex? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 13/02/24 08:59 AM |
| 8 | Why do men knowingly date gold diggers?A motivated person can talk themselves into some pretty wild things, things that a person from the outside looking in can only shake their heads at. When you see a woman chase after a fuckboi, talking herself into how she's different and that he will finally see the light, do you think she doesn't believe it? Maybe at some level she has doubts, but she wants to believe it, and she will grasp at any minor glimmers of hope, however vague and noncommittal. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 13/02/24 06:08 AM |
| 2 | do you feel as a man that you struggle with communication more in general due to being raised to talk less about your feelings?It's certainly experience-related, be it culture, upbringing, innate tendencies in general, and a mix of all that and then some. And yeah, I think women are better "trained" overall. That said, a motivated guy can close the gap pretty quickly. Along that line, I personally think it's a matter of incentives, because people in general are miserly with effort, but will respond to incentives. If the difference between bare minimum and effort is minimal, then we get bare minimum. If fuckbois couldn't… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 12/02/24 08:52 AM |
| – | How hard do short men really have it?Do you think dating is very difficult if you're short? Yes. Height is definitely a disadvantage as a shorter man (and for tall women, like in the 5'9"+ range). It's sort of like money: being average-to-tall isn't everything, but not being average-to-tall is. Likewise, having height doesn't make your (dating) life happier, but it takes away an unnecessary barrier. And at what point does it become impossible? I mean, we got people with dwarfism who are married and have children. So "impossible" is… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 12/02/24 07:27 AM |
| 3 | Why do you think Western Birth Rates are so low?Kids also went from a net gain in manual labor in developing economies to being a net drain on resource investment. I used to see kids as young as 6 peddling goods and doing field work with their parents growing up overseas. In developed economies, you instead invest into their education, ensuring they have opportunities for cultivating their potential, keeping them entertained and out of trouble, etc. All of that cost money and time. Yeah, the poorest among us are still on average with much hig… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 08/02/24 06:56 PM |
| 7 | Women who are very experienced in romantic relationships (whether sexually or emotionally) would you date someone who had never been in a relationship?I don't want to have to go through the who training wheel/growing up phase on communication and boundaries and learning to live together with someone of the opposite sex for the first time. You say that like any newly formed couples, with or without prior experience, won't be blindsided by something when living together for the first time. You've only had one experience of living together with your husband, so you've got to build a decade+ of structures around those things. That structure might … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 02/02/24 11:27 PM |
| 1 | What the "Pills" Get Wrong . . .I think it's part of the maturing process, you realize the world is simply not fair and have to figure out how to navigate that. There is a degree of individual vs. group outcomes though. Individually, I may succeed despite my poorer starting point, but many to most people from that starting point might not. So focusing on the improving things that made me better helped me personally, but on reflection, I'd also like to see how we can nudge the world towards just a touch more balance. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 02/02/24 10:06 PM |
| – | Men on this sub are probably below average which is why they are strugglingI use the example of job apps. Sure, you can still walk in and shake the manager's hand and ask for work, but they'll just tell you to go apply online. The existence of online job app portals changed how we approach jobs and hiring. Companies now also have a much wider reach of candidates to review, and are therefore often pickier whenever they have volume to their advantage. Now, there are still ways to 'hack' the process offline, like through in-network referrals and the like. And that's usual… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 02/02/24 09:59 PM |
| – | Why do science says that married men live longer when marriages are stressful and full of hassles?I don't understand this and I think that these human science researchs are often manipulated to put misinformation on people's minds and play with them. You can get access to the data, run the same analyses, and get the same results. If it was so egregious, there would be plenty of opponents (like yourself) who would just pull the data, run the stats, and crosscheck the results. Interpreting the causes might be where there are disagreement, but the actual results are pretty straightforward. Marr… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 02/02/24 09:52 PM |
| 3 | Looking for your opinions or comments on a poll I conducted at a university. Could you share your honest thoughts?It wasn't a critique on you at all. I'm a former psych researcher myself, it's a common joke in our field that our findings are all calibrated on college-aged WASPs (White Anglo-Saxon Protestants) because they're the most readily available right on campus. I don't hear this spoken of much, but the thing is, if this subpopulation is actually the main interest to you, then by all means you should use the results over a more omnibus sample. Knowing that the average adult is 38 years old and married… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 02/02/24 07:04 PM |
| 1 | Looking for your opinions or comments on a poll I conducted at a university. Could you share your honest thoughts?Yeah, I was going to say, this result probably reflects most strongly the attitudes of young college students. Not that that's a bad thing, but it would limit who can draw actionable insights from the findings. Would be interesting to get a parallel sample non-college attendees of the same age, as well some older cohorts. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 02/02/24 06:49 PM |
| 9 | How are average looking men in this day and age supposed to meet women?It's weird how much you can experience both extremes based on where you try to meet people Supply and demand. Genders are lopsided heavily on apps, some apps like 3:1 men-to-women (and I'm assuming that doesn't account for scam accounts, bots, OFs, etc.). So even if every single one of those women on the app picks one guy to pair off with, 2/3rds of the men on the app will get no matches. And because of that lopsidedness, women can be choosier. In 'real life' everyone predominantly meets everyon… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 01/02/24 06:16 PM |
| 1 | Do men require more support than women?I think the insistence on formally assigned spaces is just asking for someone else to take the initiative. We're men - we are creatures of initiatives. I kickstarted my apartment building's annual holiday parties because I thought why don't we have one of these and invited people. My friends group started because we're like 'hey we like each other, let's get together more often.' I do see value in formal assignment, but that shouldn't be the focus. The focus is why men are checking out of wantin… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 01/02/24 05:24 PM |
| 4 | Do men require more support than women?You certainly can, but why formally? Why not just gather some local men who are good-hearted people and spend time together being each other's company and support? Safe spaces would be if you worry about having your space invaded, but my general experience at least is that women recognize that men get together to do "nothing" occasionally and tend to respect that and leave it alone. It's more so the men than the group (the more rowdy men will certainly attract attention). | /r/PurplePillDebate | 01/02/24 09:34 AM |
| 11 | The gender war is not just an online thingIs it really a "war" when it's like 10% difference? There are also quite a notable amount of women who felt the same way (that feminism has done more harm than good). I'm spitballing here - maybe there's a real marketing problem for various strains of more extreme feminism that is turning off the youth, and much more so the young boys/men who are exposed to it, and probably disenfranchised by all the supposed privilege that I doubt the 16 year olds actually experience. Are boys failing in school… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 01/02/24 09:28 AM |
| 1 | Do men require more support than women?It's psychological, yes, in the sense that until you normalize it, you will feel like there's an invisible line you can't cross. But speak out once, then again, and soon enough you'll realize it's okay. And men are speaking out. You can join the chorus. It's okay to ask for support. Even the strong can't do it alone. Cultural change starts at the individual level, where we realize being stoic in many situations can benefit the person, but being stoic always or in all situations is doing ourselve… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 01/02/24 09:14 AM |
| 4 | Do men require more support than women?More support than women? I don't think that's necessary. But more support than now? Certainly. Nothing stops us men from reaching out and supporting each other. The Freemasons was just a bunch of dudes geeking out in their free time after wrapping up their plot to take over the world. There's also the element of 'squeaky wheel gets the grease.' Us men face real problems but if we don't speak up, even among ourselves, then they go unnoticed and are assumed to be fringe. It's not a coincidence tha… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 01/02/24 08:54 AM |
| 12 | Population collapse and datingThat sounds drastic, but for context, it's still 5 billion more people than we had in 1900. Humans aren't going away anytime soon. We had a 5.5x population boom in the past ~100 years and are straining global resources, perhaps an organic scaling back to more sustainable levels isn't all too bad. The short-to-medium term will be a huge challenge, as we manage the downtrend with increasingly more people past retirement than those working contributing to social safety nets. Govts worldwide have al… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 01/02/24 08:43 AM |
| – | The Best Way To Meet Women Based On Your Personal Attributes.What flavor? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 30/01/24 03:31 AM |
| 7 | Are relationship worth it?You’d think that, but many men experience intense jealousy that makes FWB untenable for them, even if it’s supposed to be non-exclusive. Some people get jealous of their friends spending time with other people as well, especially if they don’t have many alternative outlets. Once feelings get into the mix, we lose a lot of rationality, and some people become uncharacteristically possessive. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 30/01/24 12:45 AM |
| 5 | Predictions for how the dating market will look 100yrs from now?A lot can happen in 100 years. If I asked someone 100 years ago to predict what life might be like today, we'd all still have 8 kids, half of them won't make it to age 12, air blimps may yet be the premier way to travel across the ocean, etc. It's hard to say, but my biggest concern if I were consulting the govt. would not be population being below replacement but the inverting pyramid of working-aged populations. People are living now far longer than they can productively contribute back to soc… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 29/01/24 05:48 PM |
| 2 | Is there a Lizzo Paradox™ for males?Call me skeptical, but I don't think most/any guy would answer 'yes' to the question "Do you think being a beta bux is attractive?" to begin with, so we'd never get to the paradox stage. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/01/24 07:06 AM |
| 5 | Is there a Lizzo Paradox™ for males?grabs popcorn | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/01/24 06:42 AM |
| 21 | Redpill men: How much money do you make? Do you feel that you make enough to provide for both you and your (real or hypothetical) spouse?Six figures is a pretty wide range though. $100k is a very different lifestyle than $500k. Not you specifically, but I see that most posts so far are closer to $100k than $500k. I don’t personally think ~$100k is anything nearly enough these days to convince a partner to be SAHM. That’s just the equivalent of two people making ~$50k partnering up: livable certainly, but not exactly sugar money. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 24/01/24 11:27 PM |
| 4 | CMV: Bluepillers don't actually care about self improvement.I'm the one who comes up with date ideas for him and girl too Damn bro, rough beats. I'm glad you're finding some humor in it at least. Hopefully, they return the favor some day. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 23/01/24 11:24 PM |
| 5 | What are things you hate about other women?I think narratively men tend to blame the ‘system’ more: the economy, capitalism, etc. Maybe some specific people, but usually it’s a more abstract entity for their issues. Whereas I think culturally at the moment, women are more focused on the patriarchy and men as the source of their problems. In both cases they have some merit but it’s also that, sometimes, it’s a personal them issue. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 23/01/24 06:46 PM |
| – | “Don’t bother a woman at [location]. She’s just there to [do activity].”OP is most likely referring to how much better the world treats people who had their glow-ups. The difference is so stark they experience a sort of reality shock and realize how truly shallow people can be. It takes a while to acclimate to sometimes, and some become disheartened. Since who they are internally hasn't changed, they discover that a lot of people are only interested in them (at least initially) superficially. The opposite is also true. Formerly attractive people who become plain or … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 23/01/24 08:26 AM |
| 3 | What is a red pill and a blue pill opinion you have?This may be coming off like bl@ck pill not sure; women's preferences are increasingly converging on what the black pill has stated about their preferences. It wasn't all "common sense" as we talk about it now pre-COVID at least from what I remember on the debates on here. Race is a big one that I think wasn't in the main fray 3-4 years ago but is definitely considered one of the main leading topics -- and we had the OKC study back then, people (including me) just dismissed it. We're not even all… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 22/01/24 10:12 PM |
| 1 | What do you think is the cause for this to happen?99% of people have successful and fulfilling relationships, and 1% end up divorced? Ok, I’d live in that society, what’s your point? OP is saying that you can do all of the right thing and still fail. I’m adding that most people would take a 99% chance on something like a relationship because that’s pretty darn good, but even a 1% failure is a big number of fails when spread across so many people. Even something great-to-perfect on paper has risk and somebody has to be that bad luck 1%. People a… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 22/01/24 05:05 PM |
| 22 | What is a red pill and a blue pill opinion you have?Regarding women: RP: Many women find contextual status/power arousing and/or attractive. If I have to give a percentage, probably 20-30% on the low end. BP: Women do find kind men attractive. But men often mistake being a doormat with poor boundaries as kindness, and get confused thinking women don't find kindness important. Be kind with a spine. Regarding men: RP: Many men do separate sex and love extremely well, with an unnerving level of compartmentalization. They'll cheat on their partners a… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 22/01/24 09:34 AM |
| 5 | What advice would you give your daughters when it comes to dating, marriage and family formation?The youngest one wants to be an anesthesiologist (all the glory no guts). All the $$$ too. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 22/01/24 08:59 AM |
| 3 | What advice would you give your daughters when it comes to dating, marriage and family formation?Would you raise them like you expect them to be members of the upper class or would you raise them like you expect them to like the average woman in your community? She has the legacy of two parents and extended family on both sides with advanced educational pedigree. So probably somewhere in that mold. What advice would you give her when it comes to picking guys, sustaining stable marriages and healthy families? Would you tell them that WFH/flexible jobs would be better if they want to have a f… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 22/01/24 08:58 AM |
| 10 | What do you think is the cause for this to happen?It's one of the main reason Japan's population is rapidly aging and on the downtrend, quite dramatically actually within the next 20-30 years. Turns out when you keep young people tied to their desks for most of their working hours, they don't have time and/or want to pursue dating. No mingling, no babies. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 22/01/24 05:38 AM |
| 8 | What do you think is the cause for this to happen?You can do the “right thing” and still fail. 99% success is still 1% failure. Across millions and billions of people, 1% is a shit ton. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 22/01/24 05:36 AM |
| – | The Past Does Matter.I think we all understand at some level the world is unfair, but constantly surprise ourselves in reacting when these situations arise. High-n doesn't correlate well with quality. Neither does being good-looking with being a good soul or a jerk. Or being rich and kind vs. rich and greedy. And so on. Some people really do have it all (positive traits), and some have very little or nothing. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 19/01/24 06:55 PM |
| 1 | “Women/men aren’t a monolith”I use this subreddit to look for answers pertaining to the opposite genders behavior so I am better suited and prepared for the good and the bad. You are getting perspectives here, but it's a) not representative, b) self-selected sharing since the vast majority of the sub lurks and do not post/comment, and c) not adhering to any rigors for observational research. You're only getting the viewpoints the authors want to write, and having seen the survey sample, I'm fairly comfortable saying they ar… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 19/01/24 05:00 PM |
| 2 | What age is dating truly over for a guy?Idk if this goes beyond local anecdotes, but my experiences on the apps are a lot more positive nearing 33 than 23. Positive in that you get more hits (provided you are realistic in who you try to match with, aka if you're 35, you're not matching up with an 22yo insta-baddie) and people are more willing to meet up on dates/less flaky. In my early-to-mid 20s, every other attractive woman my age was basically a scam profile anyways. Nobody is really scamming up being 32/divorced for example. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 19/01/24 12:07 AM |
| 3 | How bad Is not being able tò do masculine jobs when It comes to long term relationship? ( Like fixing, assemble things, Easy plumbing/maintenance, orientation without Google maps )Do you think Bezos or Zuckerberg is seen as unmanly because they don't do their own plumbing? How about doctors, lawyers, athletes, etc.? Sometimes it's just straight up better/more efficient to outsource. An hour of time is not interchangeable across all tasks. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 18/01/24 09:41 PM |
| 7 | Modern dating strategy: Dating multiple people before being exclusive - Are males against this?My politically correct answer: people have different values, and some think dating/courtship means it's supposed to be a trial period of sorts to see if something serious can develop. Thus, two people should approach with maximum good-intent effort, which usually means not keeping other options widely open. My pragmatic/realistic answer: People who are able to do date around and sleep with others on the side are less sensitive about the topic than those who have limited options, and become more … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 17/01/24 07:41 AM |
| 14 | "conditional femininity" vs "conditional masculinity"Do you feel these two justifications are equally valid? Are these good strategies in general when approaching relationships? So basically, I'm going to take a 'just trust me, bro' at face value and hope things get better. Which is more likely for someone with prior dating experience to have seen/experienced: a) it will indeed change for the better at some magical flip-switch time, or b) people often talk a big game but seldom deliver on it, and you'll get some lukewarm, half-assed version at bes… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 17/01/24 05:55 AM |
| – | Daily Community Chat MegathreadYeah, I can't deny it's a real psychological thing that people draw meaning to. A lot of collections and collector value are basically built upon having something with that specialized connection. I was just drawing parallels to homeopathic beliefs about water having a memory lol. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 17/01/24 05:36 AM |
| – | Daily Community Chat MegathreadChad homeopathy? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 17/01/24 05:29 AM |
| 6 | The Fallacious Connection Between Male Insecurity and Female BreadwinnersSummary: Women blame male insecurity when she makes more than him as a reason (perhaps the reason) for relationship breakup, but OP contends it was never about the money, more that they were incompatible in other ways, and the whole 'he was insecure because I made more' thing is just some nonsense post-hoc justification. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 17/01/24 05:26 AM |
| 4 | Women in their thirties are way better than many women in their twentiesIf that's your experience though, date using your experience. There's a shit ton of variation between where each of us live, what type of people we're surrounded by, etc. Your experience may be typical or it may not be, relative to the 'average.' But if you're not living the average experience, then the average is irrelevant to you personally. It'd be like expecting Tom Brady to have the same personal experiences as the average 45 year old American man who makes around $35-40k annually. I'm sure… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 17/01/24 05:15 AM |
| 2 | Do you believe life is generally easier as a single person?With a good/compatible partner, yes it's easier in many ways. There are of course things that get harder: for example, I now think of how my fiance might react to things, which restrict some of my decisions. And my free time goes towards things that I would have otherwise not spent them on. But overall, the positives are many. With a mediocre or bad partner, it does get harder in many ways (though you get some positive trade-offs too of course). So "at what cost?" should be determined on an indi… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 17/01/24 01:06 AM |
| 2 | I don't know if this is a double standard or not.I also wonder about the potential for men's groups to process these sorts of experiences, thoughts and feelings, but I'm not sure what potential that has either. It does help to have a good group of guy friends who one can commiserate with. It took me until 30 to assemble that party of 6, and we definitely 'fired' a few guys along the way who were more self-interested. At the very least, guys you can trust to have your interests in mind will offer you feedback privately that nobody else will, an… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 16/01/24 11:29 PM |
| 5 | The fact that the rest of Reddit thinks PPD is “toxic” shows how messed up things are rnI have this sick fascination with this sub though I don't know why. Found this space when I was single. Stayed even though I'm now engaged. There are some people who can be reached, and I stay to interact with them. But I do find myself checking out of the wildest posts these days. I've also been a lot more selective with who to respond to ever since I got RES turned on. Left myself notes on users that are absolutely not worth the effort responding to. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 16/01/24 10:02 PM |
| 3 | The fact that the rest of Reddit thinks PPD is “toxic” shows how messed up things are rnHere's a cross-section with the non-virgins as well: Group Non-Virgin Virgin Proportion Virgin Female Non-Virgin Virgin <18 1 1 50% 18-24 23 7 23.3% 25-30 33 7 8.3% 31-40 31 3 8.8% 41+ 8 0 0% --- --- --- --- Male Non-Virgin Virgin <18 0 1 100% 18-24 38 48 55.8% 25-30 54 30 35.7% 31-40 62 7 10.1% 41+ 21 0 0% | /r/PurplePillDebate | 16/01/24 09:28 PM |
| 3 | The fact that the rest of Reddit thinks PPD is “toxic” shows how messed up things are rnSame. Probably preset these subs to autobans if you've ever posted/comment here. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 16/01/24 09:20 PM |
| 3 | The fact that the rest of Reddit thinks PPD is “toxic” shows how messed up things are rnI don't have this latest survey's numbers, but these were from the March '23 survey (100 self-described virgins out of 371): Group Count Female Count <18 1 18-24 7 25-30 7 31-40 3 --- --- Male Count <18 1 18-24 48 25-30 30 31-40 7 | /r/PurplePillDebate | 16/01/24 09:16 PM |
| 23 | The fact that the rest of Reddit thinks PPD is “toxic” shows how messed up things are rnEven the word incel has kind of taken on its own colloquial meaning that's akin to 'male loser.' I've seen women casually using it as a pejorative, both on reddit and in real-life interactions. Sort of like how men use words like slut or whore as derogatory towards women they're trying to put down (whether or not it's true or applicable), these women use incel in the same way (whether or not it's true or applicable). | /r/PurplePillDebate | 16/01/24 08:37 PM |
| 1 | i’ve seen this idea tossed around that women are more susceptible than men to social trends - both genders are very susceptible to trends, let’s stop pretending its one sidedWithin fashion, men follow trends too, just towards conformity instead of variety. Most wear the same 4 colors to work, the same styles of oxfords, the same two colors for belts/shoes, etc. Very few try to distinguish themselves through fashion, which is something a supposedly independent person might do more often. If women follow trends of becoming more fashionably varied, then men follow trends to become fashionably puritan. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 11/01/24 07:53 PM |
| 6 | Why is categorical thinking so prominent in these spaces?All or Nothing thinking and is one of the main cognitive distortions (an irrational pattern of thinking) that has been identified by Cognitive Behavioral Therapy Quite a few people here also talk down therapy as being largely useless, which compounds the irony. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 11/01/24 07:03 PM |
| 3 | What Draws Men to Women Who Warn Them About Their Emotional instability?Why do people want anything that's bad for them? There's gotta be something to it, right? Some people find crazy much more thrilling than stability. It's like a drug - cycles of highs and lows. Or maybe they find you oddly attainable, perhaps if you are 'out of their league.' Or the classic 'I can change him' but in reverse. They think they can help you keep the lid and turn a new leaf. And well, it sounds like you were also sexually voracious, and that probably got them turned on as well. Men, … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 09/01/24 08:13 AM |
| 9 | Why don’t the men here do speed dating?They do not represent the majority of lonely men (and, frankly, may not even be men who have struggled). Most men I know who struggle crush on the first average, everyday woman who shows him any positive attention. I got a nerdy friend who looks like this stock photo woman and she's never been single for longer than a week since undergrad. She found 'em at church, she found 'em at cons, she found them at bar trivia nights, literally anywhere you can show a somewhat nerdy dude attention. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 09/01/24 06:34 AM |
| 2 | Debate : Most People in Dating strategy Subreddits use extreme examples to prove points, and this needs to stop.I think the main issue is just how bleak the dating market is most men understand that it's really not worth their time anymore I haven't tried to convince anyone who wants to quit altogether they should get back out there. But the ones I've had heart-to-hearts with, they do want to try. And I think for those that are sincere and earnest, they could use a little help sometimes to see what they're missing. Sometimes, it's something tiny but might be indicative of a larger picture. Example was whe… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 08/01/24 09:17 AM |
| 1 | Debate : Most People in Dating strategy Subreddits use extreme examples to prove points, and this needs to stop.Or a seasoned friend who's motivated to help (in my case***). Which is why I admit it's quite rare. I'm trying to pay it forward, but it's like blowing a dandelion against the wind. Some friends receive a little bit of help and they're on their feet, others spin their wheels endlessly and I feel for them but it just doesn't feel like I can do any more. ***Edit: As in I got tutorlage from a suave dude I was close to when I was in my early 20s. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 08/01/24 08:54 AM |
| 8 | Debate : Most People in Dating strategy Subreddits use extreme examples to prove points, and this needs to stop.90% of the posts I see on /r/relationship_advice falls into this categorization. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 08/01/24 08:47 AM |
| 5 | Debate : Most People in Dating strategy Subreddits use extreme examples to prove points, and this needs to stop.I wouldn't say overlooked, just standard-looked, and most people don't stand out. Women have limited attention, and height is just easily noticeable. An average guy has to do something notable to get attention, and I do think a lot of men get burnt out figuring out what that is. An in-person coach/mentor would be great, since most people have specific things they could improve on, and generic advice doesn't go far enough. I don't think most people would know how to access one though. An analogou… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 08/01/24 08:45 AM |
| – | Why do ladies often assume I'm not interested if I don't try to jump their bones on the 1st or 2nd date?I do think there's a rather narrow window where you go from potential partner to 'there's no spark' for most women in the early days of dating (dates 1 and 2, maybe 3), if she's didn't already have the hots for you (crush as a friend or something like that). Going straight for the house would have not gotten me my soon-to-be fiance, so it's probably highly dependent on the type of women you end up on dates with. In fact, it's one of our continuing inside jokes. But at the very least, I'd say the… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 08/01/24 06:53 AM |
| 3 | How often do you and your friends discuss/gossip about the sex lives of your social circle?Yup, critical shortages tend to favor less savory characters. They learn that unless the issue is too egregious to ignore, they can press their luck and get away with a lot more. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 07/01/24 08:31 AM |
| – | Some thoughts while abroadIt's midnight - 3AM in the States my dude, half the sub members are now sleeping or just coming back for the night (hi). And barely morning in Europe, where the vast majority of the rest live. Sounds like you had a pleasant time overseas. Maybe it fits your needs better long-term. I think most people would be surprised to find that where they were born is not the best community for them. Every dude who goes abroad experiences this. I wouldn't say every dude, but yes, I think most will. Being fro… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 06/01/24 08:36 AM |
| 2 | Why are people so reluctant to accept serial monogamy?people don’t complain about kids not working out I'm gonna guess you weren't raised by Asian parents lol. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 05/01/24 07:29 PM |
| 5 | “the divine feminine” is a manifestation of toxic femininitySee, I don't think it's more common at all, the voices just coalesce into a flavor of the month, then die out as the next thing comes up. These attitudes don't really get traction beyond social media because most women/people do not have leverage to get this kind of treatment anyways. We shouldn't pay heed to their proselytizing, the same way we don't take financial advice from people who have zero aptitude with money. Let the toxicity eat its own, because people who try cartel these behaviors i… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 05/01/24 06:23 PM |
| 28 | “the divine feminine” is a manifestation of toxic femininityand the influencers pushing it We can just stop right there, no? For any view, even fringe ones, there will be influencers serving as mouthpieces. Tbh with you, before this thread, I've only heard of the term "divine femininity" like once ever in a stray textbook somewhere. I don't have a Tik Tok, and I swear 80% of the strange stuff I hear about on this sub originated from a video of someone in their teens or early 20s who has never worked a serious professional job. Yes, I totally concede ther… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 05/01/24 05:46 PM |
| 5 | Why are people so reluctant to accept serial monogamy?“Everyone has a plan until they get punched in the mouth.” | /r/PurplePillDebate | 05/01/24 03:13 PM |
| 1 | How much control do women really have over the dating market?Arguably, love is where the concept of pre-selection steams from so your kind fo just flat out wrong about it not apply to it. I think I'm either not explaining it right or you're misunderstanding me. It's where the academic concept comes from, yes. But when people talk colloquially about love, they disregard things like pre-selection as having any impact at all, even if it actually does. It's like how nobody claims ads or package labels affect them, but research has shown how effective ads and … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 04/01/24 11:22 PM |
| 3 | How much control do women really have over the dating market?It's kind of an interesting blind spot to me. Amazon (and its sellers) know almost nobody chooses to buy a product without reviews. Yelp's existence despite being a blight to many restaurants nevertheless drive business to the ones with high ratings. We make friends through network and seek word-of-mouth referrals for various things. These are all just various mechanisms of pre-selection. But somehow, through the mysteries and power of love, it's the one thing pre-selection doesn't apply to. Yea… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 04/01/24 10:44 PM |
| – | Blue pillers, How would you summarize your views?if you disagree, name a country where those guys can go where they're seen as 10s. The answer is: nowhere. Colorism and heightism is pervasive. I do think though there's finally starting to be some cultural awareness and a tiny bit more sympathy regarding male height (though not outright shaming people who perpetuate heightism the same way we socially look down on people who are loud and clear about weight-shaming). But colorism is something I think we are still squarely putting in the "it's jus… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 04/01/24 10:21 PM |
| 3 | Blue pillers, How would you summarize your views?Maybe it’s just a case of good intentions gone bad. I think boys need more male teachers and role models. More than anything, I think it exemplifies a case of 'path to hell is paved with good intentions.' We often correct a problem by overcorrecting it. It takes a while until we observe the breaking point, and then the pendulum swings back, sometimes dramatically so. I definitely with your assessment and also advocate for a robust network of mentorship. People who struggle will want answers, and… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 04/01/24 10:11 PM |
| 6 | Blue pillers, How would you summarize your views?BP is only in relation to RP, because RP influencers will claim just about any positive breakthroughs as RP and define BP as opposite to that. I think the only truly "BP" thing is personality, and even then, RP influencers will claim the 'masculine' personality and discard the rest. For example, exercise is a thing known since time immemorial as a positive for attraction, but RP proselytizers will have you believe that BP people have somehow shielded the common man from that truth. That the comm… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 04/01/24 09:20 PM |
| – | If you are currently unsatisfied with your romantic/relationship prospect, what is your next play for 2024?Being comfortable alone in public goes a long way. I think a lot of younger people struggle with this, they think all eyes are on them when in reality most people mind their own business. Once I started dining out on my own a few times, reading a book or browsing reddit or whatever, it clicked and I don't mind it anymore. Nowadays, I do it for lunch almost daily. Seriously, you might see a stray social media comment about being called a loser to eat in public alone or something, but rest assured… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 04/01/24 08:57 PM |
| 1 | Is there ceiling to women's sexual hypergamy?Tbh I don't think her resignation in itself is a big story beyond academia. But the broader implication is that it showcases an example where moneyed interest can lobby public pressure and wield it like a cudgel against university administrations until they relented. I think universities and their leadership have long seen themselves as 'above' the pettiness of ongoing political discourse, but they got a rude awakening. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 04/01/24 06:51 PM |
| 1 | Has anyone’s opinion or outlook on certain beliefs changed based on engagement here?(Of note, I tend not to make my own posts, I just respond to other people's posts with the sources I had obtained. I prefer the one on one conversations). I mean, this is why lol. We can't search through comments the way we can to see posting history. I don't doubt you've had engaging conversations based on the list, but there's simply no easy way to pull these up unless I go full investigative journalist on you. That said, those are interesting topics to discuss. I know the wage gap one specifi… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 04/01/24 06:29 PM |
| 0 | Is there ceiling to women's sexual hypergamy?as much as possible, I just try to discuss the ideas and not the person. Flashback to all the Claudine Gay (Harvard ex-president who just resigned) threads I read earlier this week. Some questioned her because of who she is, others defended her because of who she is. It’s bizarre given that the standard for plagiarism is pretty non-political. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 04/01/24 06:24 PM |
| 8 | Debate : The Bluepill doesn‘t exist anymore since around 5-10 Years.It’s like he is in a completely different reality. I mean, he was though lol. Gramps got to marry young but got drafted to war and grew up without the internet. Meta's changed. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 04/01/24 07:31 AM |
| 2 | If you are currently unsatisfied with your romantic/relationship prospect, what is your next play for 2024?Best of luck. I hope 2024 will reflect your efforts accordingly and that great things will occur for you. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 04/01/24 06:33 AM |
| 2 | If you are currently unsatisfied with your romantic/relationship prospect, what is your next play for 2024?I hope you have the healing you need for 2024, and that the year treats you well. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 04/01/24 06:31 AM |
| 2 | If you are currently unsatisfied with your romantic/relationship prospect, what is your next play for 2024?Best of luck, job market's finicky depending on where you are and what you're trying to do but a lucky break can take someone really far. My contractor started 2 months ago and I'm hoping we can adequately train her so that she gets promoted into a permanent role or another nearby team will try to poach her. I hope 2024 treats you well. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 04/01/24 06:26 AM |
| 2 | If you are currently unsatisfied with your romantic/relationship prospect, what is your next play for 2024?Best of luck bro, feel free to drop a note on how things go, I wish the best for you for 2024. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 04/01/24 06:21 AM |
| 1 | Has anyone’s opinion or outlook on certain beliefs changed based on engagement here?I like to watch Radical Feminist echo chamber blogs for their talking points, regardless if I agree with them morally, and then bring the ones I can't defeat myself here to see what sources can challenge them. So far, not many of the points I've brought have been really defeated Interesting strategy actually. I respect the hustle of leveraging internet rage to do your work. I also peeked into your account hoping to find some prior discussion threads and um...I did not find them lol. Not exactly … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 04/01/24 06:06 AM |
| 3 | Has anyone’s opinion or outlook on certain beliefs changed based on engagement here?You know, I recognize you as a fairly even-toned contributor here, and thank you for being as civil and understanding as can be given circumstances. I'm sure we don't see eye to eye on everything, perhaps we've even exchanged disagreements in the past, but I certainly appreciate a consistent tone that doesn't seek to antagonize. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 04/01/24 05:39 AM |
| 31 | Any explanations as to why dating seems to be feast or famine?Saw this video simulation and basically, whenever the ratios get wonky (Tinder is like 3:1 men:women at best), it gets hard. So some possibilities: 1) During periods where you saw action, there's a temporary spike in women using apps, and then it goes quiet again. Like right now during New Years, at least a couple of my women friends have said they're giving apps dating another chance. New year, new me and all that. So it's not seasonal so much as event-driven, whatever that happens to be in the… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 04/01/24 04:16 AM |
| 11 | It is sad when showing affection to your male children is treated as something inappropriate. This is also a reason why solution to male problems cannot come from the right wingIn East Asian cultures, it is common that close guy friends might put their arms around each other when walking or hanging out (sort of like a man putting arms over his girlfriend while they’re on the couch in western cultures). This is not seen as sexual or erotic between men, just a sign of brotherly affection. | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 04/01/24 01:48 AM |
| – | How do we know what's natural to each gender, and what is the cause of society?I doubt it is either/or. I don't think almost any variable in isolation is purely nature. Not even something like eye color, which has a similarity index of like .96 between identical twins (it's been years since I saw the table though, but nothing on it was 1.0). It doesn't mean it's all nurture either. As hard as the blank-slaters try, we just don't really find that to be the case. We're uniquely prewired to be afraid of snakes and spiders and develop phobias for them extremely quickly, but no… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 03/01/24 10:25 PM |
| 1 | How do we know what's natural to each gender, and what is the cause of society?But that's not necessarily the case. There could be a gendered starting point that is different (y-axis starting point), and there's also a possible rate of risk-toleration growth that could be different due to life experiences (slope change along the x). It's one thing to suggest it's multi-factorial, something that we can very much attempt to control for when doing research, and another altogether to say it's impossible to tease apart, in addition to studying their interaction effects. And whi… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 03/01/24 08:48 PM |
| 1 | How do we know what's natural to each gender, and what is the cause of society?So if instead I find no statistical difference, your new theory would be that being encouraged to take risks throughout life would make no difference to risk-taking? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 03/01/24 07:34 PM |
| 8 | Has anyone’s opinion or outlook on certain beliefs changed based on engagement here?See, I agree with you that there were always paragons who were short (short kings I believe the modern kids call them). However, I think exceptions in this case make the rule. For those two, you had thousands of other men in the view who are 'tall, dark, and handsome.' I don't think it's a coincidence tall is the first thing people highlighted. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 03/01/24 07:17 PM |
| 0 | How do we know what's natural to each gender, and what is the cause of society?You can compare two anxious, risk-adverse people (well, more than two, but you get what I mean) from both genders and see how quickly they acclimate to risk-taking behaviors after a period of training. If risk-taking is more natural for one gender, it will show up in some variety. The experiment can be done, and in fact, I think you might have inspired me to design this study once I do some reading on the topic further. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 03/01/24 07:08 PM |
| 12 | Has anyone’s opinion or outlook on certain beliefs changed based on engagement here?It matters more now than even 10 years ago in my experience (now 35). I'm 5'3" and it seems like during my college years (18-22) there were women who weren't as interested but would at least give me a potential in. But that's because people approached more back then as well, and I made myself a prospect physically that they would at least consider, even if the answer was no most of the time. With the advent of social media and the presumed abundance in male attention, height became an easy filte… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 03/01/24 06:55 PM |
| 0 | How do we know what's natural to each gender, and what is the cause of society?But, the woman knows it's always her baby I'm thinking in the extremely rare case where the woman had the baby swapped accidentally in the hospital. But to your point, the issue is largely one-sided for men because by and large, only men had to ever contend with it. If women had no means to assure their parentage, would it become a bigger issue to be insecure about? Whoever has the power and desire to abuse, will abuse Yes, but there is degree and severity. Being punched and physically injured i… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 03/01/24 06:44 PM |
| 1 | How do we know what's natural to each gender, and what is the cause of society?1) Are men more insecure about genetic paternity/maternity than women, or are women simply so incredibly unlikely to ever have that be in doubt to begin with? 2) Are men more abusive than women, or are women simply judged by different societal standards as to what constitutes as abuse (degree of physical severity, degree of abuse being equally serious because it is more mental than physical)? 3) Is it more likely that men and women do have evolved differences that are mental/psychological as wel… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 03/01/24 06:19 PM |
| 16 | Has anyone’s opinion or outlook on certain beliefs changed based on engagement here?Does anyone here ever take a look at information presented and do some introspection on how they may have misconstrued some things from the other side? Yes. I am by-the-books a liberal person as well, but it's clear that there's such a thing as too much, and recent topics have demonstrated that the left side of politics is just as likely to eat its own. Identity politics for example has really overreached, and in my opinion, attempt to address problems too late. We can look to the Harvard presid… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 03/01/24 05:46 PM |
| 7 | Why are ambiguous friendships and unreciprocated feelings causing so much uproar?I went through this with my first love when I was in college. At some point, you have to be real and honest: are you actually moving on from unrequited attraction and just able to be friends? Or are you silently waiting in limbo for yet another sign of interest (that you're probably reading too much into) to spark hope again? I made tremendous progress when we stopped talking for a few months. This actually led to some major personal development that then led us back to talking again, where we t… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 02/01/24 10:38 PM |
| 9 | Why are ambiguous friendships and unreciprocated feelings causing so much uproar?I think acts beat thought and feelings. I believe if someone can handle a rejection well and keep being the friend they always have been, they should not be shamed for feeling the way they have felt and expressing a vulnerable moment. This is not usually the problem. The problem is that the person crushing has to move on once the other person declares that they're uninterested. But the person crushing on their friend will often struggle and keep the flame alive, over-interpreting signals as sign… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 02/01/24 10:27 PM |
| – | CMW: Most women have little to offer a high value man in a long-term relationshipI think a perspective sorely lacking on most social media is the "boring" stable relationship where couples have so few complaints they don't post. And because they don't post often, the incidences of bad relationships appear to be much greater in proportion, leading people to think relationships are predominantly bad. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 02/01/24 06:51 PM |
| 3 | Why do women assume that all women are good?Watching two otherwise good women friends start talking down each other to impress a smooth talker who worked his way into our bar crawl group was an interesting moment in my formative years. Relatedly, watching that guy do his work was also an interesting learning moment. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 02/01/24 06:34 AM |
| 32 | Are men accepting far less these days or has it always been like this?But it seems this is rare these days? Has it always been like this? Probably. People were just much more likely to keep their business private. Men didn't commiserate the way they do now. They either suffer in silence or take advantage of their societal stature and abuse their wives in kind. Or they cheat. I think people overlook how common cheating was because it was so much harder to track and spot than it is now. There were dudes with secret families living just one town over. There were also… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 02/01/24 06:31 AM |
| 2 | Do you that marriage is largely obsolete today now that social norms have been largely relaxed?I think less marriage will happen in the future though Data seems suggest as much, yes. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 31/12/23 09:12 PM |
| 2 | Men who realised that they were conditioned to be Beta Bucks...Almost undoubtedly so, the matching process works both ways. You also don't have to be a 10, you just have to be a polished 6 among the 4's and 5's. Most of us don't have 10 potential, but we can at least try to hit our max potential. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 29/12/23 12:01 PM |
| 3 | Men who realised that they were conditioned to be Beta Bucks...I can also learn some style and grooming. There are more resources now than ever before, and you also have resources to do a revamp. I watched a few youtube guides on styling/color matching/etc. that really helped put into perspective what a good strategy for my wardrobe should look like, and it's not that drastic or expensive. And of course if you're fit, far more things will accentuate your fitness than if you are working with a beer gut and droopy shoulders. 28 is actually a pretty good age -… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 29/12/23 11:21 AM |
| 12 | Men who realised that they were conditioned to be Beta Bucks...So I'm not Indian, but I am Southeast Asian (granted, grew up in the US, so not completely analogous). 1 How old were you? Around 18ish or so when I made my first "breakthrough." 2 How do you feel about it and deal with the realisation? It didn't changed my overall life goals. I still wanted an advanced degree. If anything, I became more ambitious over time, not less. 3 What action did you take afterwards? Worked out and got fit, worked on my social skills, hooked up with the girl that initially… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 29/12/23 10:55 AM |
| 3 | I wish men would stop normalizing women approaching them and trying to "shoot their shot". Almost every man i've seen feels very uncomfortable with a woman approaching themKeep working at it! And yeah, advice given for men's approach do not translate cleanly. Men are often taught/advised by each other to not be physically imposing - women don't usually pose that same concern to men, so it's much more about how to not be alarming from a scam/prank perspective. One method that I've seen played out fairly well is the double-back. The initial approach is more of the woman mingling and being friendly with everyone, including the guy they're interested in. Establish jus… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 28/12/23 12:54 AM |
| 10 | Just out of curiosity, how much of modern dating's problems also stem from a lack of inherent hardship in modern society? All perspectives welcomeAssuming 'modern dating' implies mostly westernized conditions where your basic needs are met and even some of the more advanced ones are subsidized. There's less inherent physical hardships, or basic survival needs hardship, but that doesn't mean there aren't other hardships. Economy sucks for the lower class. Yeah they can get food stamps and handouts so they don't starve to death, but living paycheck-to-paycheck still sucks. Americans at least are like one health issue away from medical bankr… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/12/23 10:37 AM |
| 3 | I wish men would stop normalizing women approaching them and trying to "shoot their shot". Almost every man i've seen feels very uncomfortable with a woman approaching themIt’s weird that men frame this entire conversation around cold approach OP's drawing parallels between women walking up to men shooting their shot like a guy would a stranger woman, so I would imagine most men, myself included, are responding to that. Cold approach is the least likely way women make a move. Agreed. And the least effective for men too. Social networking is so much easier. A woman doesn’t know if she likes a man based on his looks alone, even if he’s conventionally attractive and … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/12/23 09:10 AM |
| – | Basic question about debatesWhen it comes to speaking for their own perspective, sure. If it's in general, then no. I'm Asian. I don't want a random academic nerd who thinks mayo is too spicy to be offended on my behalf regarding the right/wrong way to eat certain dishes. So in that sense, my perspective as an Asian person matters more in this specific context. But you are free to debate the merits of whether Asian cuisine is the best, or if something else is better. Also, don't argue with randos on the internet. Life will… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/12/23 08:18 AM |
| 7 | Women: have you ever exploited a man's interest for you own gain?I think it's wisdom that comes with age and empathy. Speaking as a guy who's also had some women go out of their way to be nicer to you (when you aren't attracted to them), you try to interpret your situation as benignly as possible while still benefiting from what's obviously them being unnaturally kind/helpful. Nowadays, I try to follow the adage of 'it doesn't have to be bad, it just has to look bad' and dodge those situations. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/12/23 07:47 AM |
| 19 | I wish men would stop normalizing women approaching them and trying to "shoot their shot". Almost every man i've seen feels very uncomfortable with a woman approaching themAlso X to doubt about your super model friends getting rejected left and right lol I actually do believe her, but it's probably because her friends don't know how to approach and probably trigger red flags in the guys' brains, thinking they're being scammed or there's a Tik Tok bait video being filmed. Women don't approach very often, so they're just like novice guys learning to cold approach. Every guy has received at least a handful of rejections along the lines of "I've already got a b/f" whi… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/12/23 07:35 AM |
| 13 | I wish men would stop normalizing women approaching them and trying to "shoot their shot". Almost every man i've seen feels very uncomfortable with a woman approaching themMy friends are super model gorgeous with stellar personalities- they are constantly getting shot done by men. even if you're the most prettiest girl in the world the man is still gonna be weirded out by it. Well yeah, lots of attractive women have traditionally used their looks to approach men for sales, scams, etc. Unless you're a guy used to being approached, first reaction is "am I being played?" You don't even know if he really likes you if you approach first or if he's just being nice and g… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/12/23 07:30 AM |
| 2 | Should men try to be friends with women first?Always room to learn from experience. Maybe 2024 will be your year, hang in there! | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/12/23 07:17 AM |
| 7 | Should men try to be friends with women first?Only times I've seen the friendship route work is when you're casual friends in a larger group or network, but don't interact all that often. There's an element of known, but a moderate to large amount of unknown. Randomly, some event or moment brings the two together and some sort of common ground or spark sets things off. Then they start spending more time together within the newly found attraction. But yeah, if you're interacting basically as friends constantly, unless there's a bit of sexual… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/12/23 07:04 AM |
| 6 | Should guys take it personally if they have to wait till their 30s to have success with women?Get Reddit Enhancement Suite plug-in (should be available on most browsers I think). It will seriously make your experience on this sub better, by letting you tag each username with a brief note only you can see. Really helps you keep track of who's who among the regulars over time. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/12/23 06:42 AM |
| 2 | Why does everyone here generalize from a few social media posts?Part of the issue is you’re asking for a definitive conclusion that has a clear right vs. wrong. I don’t necessarily think that’s the case. If you assume that in a modern society where we allow choice, by default some choices will emerge as the favorite or the clear winner. Someone will be overlooked or stand to lose more in that environment. The less fortunate are not wrong for complaining or debating the merits of a society they don’t benefit as much from, any more than the rich are merited in… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 22/12/23 12:21 AM |
| 0 | Emotion is not emotional intelligenceEmotional intelligence (or lack thereof) is a grab-all term for several sorts of issues in a relationship. Recognizing the nuances of emotions within oneself: some people, typically men, are trained to be stoic and thus not recognize shades of their own emotions. They are upset but bottle it, and aside from seeing it as a negative thing, can't tell you nuances, but rather solutions. Their solutions may patch over the issue, but it doesn't address the core. Recognizing the subtle changes of emoti… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 21/12/23 08:51 PM |
| 23 | What public figure would you choose to be a role model for the opposite sex?By all accounts, Jimmy Carter the president was a very lukewarm president. But Jimmy Carter the ex-president humanitarian and in a lifelong marriage to his one-and-only wife is about as good and honorable a life as it gets. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 19/12/23 06:32 PM |
| 5 | What public figure would you choose to be a role model for the opposite sex?G/f and I have had two 'fights' this year. Not everyone is into that though. I think some people need social chaos. I get my fix through games and abstract entities like the stock market. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 19/12/23 06:26 PM |
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