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Putrid-Detail-2933 Archive

View 0 posts and 43 comments by Putrid-Detail-2933 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
2

This! Not "don't be afraid" though, ask. If the situation were reversed she certainly would
/r/Divorce_Men20/06/26 01:45 PM
5

Need a new mediator, it's that simple
/r/Divorce_Men09/06/26 12:51 PM
2

Hope you get a chunk of that raise, you know she would be going after yours!
/r/Divorce_Men04/06/26 09:44 PM
3

About 2 days after she asked about opening up our marriage. I had about a day where it sounded potentially intriguing, mostly because I was so bored with her and we had lost a connection long before. An open marriage would allow me to be with other people, something I long thought about, and it would preserve the home I had built for our kids. Started quickly sinking in the reasons behind her asking and how uncomfortable the entire situation made me.
/r/Divorce_Men02/06/26 02:21 PM
2

Definitely don't apologize for writing this, this is something you need to write out. Better yet, talk out with appropriate friends and/or therapists. Her actions are not your fault
/r/Divorce_Men02/06/26 02:18 PM
14

Older women are better at sex. It's pretty simple. They know what they like, communicate, and know what they are doing. Edit: True, some women are water balloons in bed. But generally they are more experienced, know how to please, and forthright about what they want. Plus they can detach the emotion from it all.
/r/Divorce_Men29/05/26 10:54 PM
2

I does, more than you even think. Best of luck
/r/Divorce_Men26/05/26 11:59 PM
9

I initiated, was never super happy in the marriage and when covid hit she started to look for attention elsewhere. I attempted to keep the marriage together until one night, while on a long walk, realized this is exactly what I wanted for a very long time. Brutal decision though, mostly because we have four kids together. Youngest was only three. 50/50 custody and I miss my kids terribly when they aren't with me. I know my my relationship with all of them will never be the same. That's the part …
/r/Divorce_Men26/05/26 03:36 AM
3

First off, sorry to hear that. No one here wants someone else to suffer or go through what you are. Second, document everything. Not sure how you found out but you need to make sure you have evidence if there's even a chance you proceed with the divorce process. Not sure where what state you're in but there can be penalties for adultery (you should look this up).
/r/Divorce_Men18/05/26 12:52 PM
4

Go Grey Rock. Only respond when absolutely necessary, even when you do following the BIFF communication guidelines. If you haven't heard of either definitely worth looking up and practicing. Best of luck
/r/Divorce_Men01/01/26 03:47 PM
6

View this in the light of reality, she sent that to both make herself feel and attempt to look good, but she also wanted to wreck your mood and emotions. Easier said than done, but don't give her that much power in your life anymore. That is your long-term goal right now.
/r/Divorce_Men25/12/25 07:56 PM
2

Said something similar, set a time limit for how long he wants to be there based on the nature of their relationship
/r/Divorce_Men24/12/25 02:43 PM
2

It's possible, though not a certainty
/r/Divorce_Men24/12/25 02:42 PM
4

This is highly contingent on your relationship. If it is amicable, it is not a terrible idea, definitely bring her something small as well. Be warm to the kids, respectful to her. Try not to get too caught up in the moment because this isn't a reflection of reality in terms of what you once were as a family, just a glimpse into the past and an altered future. Give yourself a set time to be there though, both for you and for the kids. Whether that's 1 hour, 2 hours, etc. Ultimately that's about p…
/r/Divorce_Men24/12/25 02:42 PM
3

I think many of us have been in that situation. My ex was definitely getting attention from other people which is why she didn't need it from me, I'm not certain but it is very possible that's your situation too. All humans need connection and affection on some level, if she is not getting it from you very likely coming from elsewhere. One of the reasons why I went through with my divorce is I feared my kids were learning what a relationship looked like through us. Cold, distant, no connection, …
/r/Divorce_Men11/12/25 03:02 PM
4

I think you are wearing your pain, and your ego is bruised. Hence you thinking people are looking at you in a different way. That said, hardest part for me was telling the kids about the separation, followed closely by missing the kids (have 50/50 custody). My change in finances was tough initially though it gets easier with time.
/r/Divorce_Men03/12/25 03:51 AM
10

Oh, I recall those days of pretending like we were a happy family for other people. It will pass my friend. Brighter days ahead
/r/Divorce_Men27/11/25 10:11 PM
3

Your question was a bit confusing, looks like you've clarified it in the comments. It is natural to want to continue to see them, issue is whether you can get approval from the mom to do so. Even if you two get approval, if it's not agreed to and certified by the courts and she may take that away in the future
/r/Divorce_Men18/11/25 09:06 PM
1

Google sheets. Keep it simple, easy to calculate trends and projections
/r/Divorce_Men17/11/25 03:58 PM
9

I think for those of us who have 50% custody we are celebrating at least getting that and not losing additional access to our kids. Was thinking about this earlier today prior to even reading your message, not having my kids in my life full-time is by far the worst part of divorce. Don't get me wrong, my ex was/is a nightmare. I had to get away from her and she is still a complete pain in my ass and a toxic co-parent. There was zero chance I would be happy overall in life had I stayed with her, …
/r/Divorce_Men12/11/25 07:23 PM
5

Dang, that is a system bound to have issues. One parent (moms, most likely for obvious reasons) could intentionally sabotage communication solely to gain majority custody. What she did is evil man, so sorry
/r/Divorce_Men04/11/25 11:54 PM
12

So sorry to hear that, best of luck with your appeal. Courts are definitely rigged in favor of moms - and it is bullshit
/r/Divorce_Men04/11/25 11:22 PM
2

That's brutal to be stuck with her for another 6 months. 😂 Painful I'm sure, but you obviously got through it. Great points about her getting the sympathy, help, etc. Annoying but I expected it so wasn't surprised.
/r/Divorce_Men30/10/25 05:59 AM
6

I was shocked at how little my family and friends reached out. Though honestly mostly my close friends. I'm lucky to have a group of friends that stretches back several decades, two of them I text with daily. They never once reached out and said "hey, let's grab a beer and catch up." It was so odd, I thought for sure they would. I think divorce is just awkward to talk about unless you have been through it or are going through it. That's the excuse I gave them, but it still hurt how no one seemed…
/r/Divorce_Men30/10/25 05:56 AM
2

She is in the rear view mirror, best things you can do is focus on (a) your own mental and physical health, cannot overstate either enough, and (b) detaching from her and your interest in how she is/what she is doing. Easier said than done I know, it gets better and easier over time though.
/r/Divorce_Men30/10/25 05:46 AM
2

You can certainly give it a shot, I hope your situation is better than mine. My ex has turned into a high conflict person and personality since the divorce so we don't do anything together. Which is sad, but also extremely necessary. For now at least
/r/Divorce_Men27/10/25 04:49 PM
5

Not the exact situation since I've now been divorced for 4 years, but I know what you mean by phone addiction with my ex. Just ignore her. Plan whatever you want with your kids, but do not include your soon to be ex. Start creating your own, standalone memories because if you do bring the ex and she's on the phone it will just irritate you more, and irritate your kids. It kills the energy of the group when someone cannot detach from their device.
/r/Divorce_Men27/10/25 02:47 PM
7

I have an ex friend who has lived with his ex for 6 or 7 years! So weird
/r/Divorce_Men21/10/25 09:38 PM
5

Too true. These women are black holes of attention, will struggle for years trying to fill an endless void
/r/Divorce_Men18/09/25 05:34 AM
2

Sadness is totally normal, it definitely gets better over time. The life you once thought is gone, partially. You can still live a very happy life and have your kids be in it, try to find fun and simple ways to connect with them when you are spending time with them. As for your ex-wife, she decided that another person was more important than your relationship AND keeping your family together. I would go Gray Rock on her pronto and for as long as possible. If she asks how you're doing, say "great…
/r/Divorce_Men09/09/25 01:57 PM
3

Damn man, sorry you are going through this. There is always a silver lining even if you don't see it right now. Hell, sounds like being away from her is some silver lining in and of itself (I think many here shared that same sentiment). Curious, how old is your son?
/r/Divorce_Men03/09/25 04:01 AM
3

Dave's books helped me years ago. Was already on a debt free journey, but further fueled the fire. Helped me be in a good position when I got divorced. Still lost half, though it wasn't crippling due to savings and other assets.
/r/Divorce_Men27/08/25 10:43 PM
3

Haven't been divorced nearly as long as you have, but I understand how someone can allow anger to rule their emotions. Especially without other people (family, friends) or activities to attach to. Therapy certainly helps, more or less for different people though. Like many things in life, how much you put into it is what you'll get out of it. Movement of any kind is incredibly helpful. That could be long walks, returning to a sport or activity you loved when you were younger, or finding new acti…
/r/Divorce_Men21/08/25 01:48 PM
1

Don't move out. Look up local divorce lawyers, set up consultations with at least two (ideally free ones). Use AI to generate a list of questions for your lawyer consultations specific to your situation. Get high level information from one lawyer, try to get into the details of your situation with another. Start tracking every penny spent. Track what you spend and what she does, open a separate credit card and spend on that (not on a shared card). Sorry this is happening to you, we are here to h…
/r/Divorce_Men21/08/25 05:25 AM
1

Too true, though at that point her opinions will only create turmoil on her side equation. I don't care what she thinks of me, I'm protecting my peace and that of my household.
/r/Divorce_Men07/03/25 05:00 PM
1

No, I think of it as leasing each other. 😂 Seriously though, expectations around marriage have to change. We live too long, lives are too varied, for expectations of marriage to last more than a couple of decades. Sad perhaps, but also realistic
/r/Divorce_Men07/03/24 03:55 PM
0

I think people address it in many ways, though honestly I'm mostly surprised by the expectation of marriages lasting people's entire lives. Sure, marriages lasting an entire lifetime made sense when people lived to be at most 60 years old, but with how long we all live - and how drastically our lives are from decades ago - I think marriage expectations should be 5-10 years max. Almost like a contract. At the end of those years you determine whether you want another extension and for how long.
/r/Divorce_Men07/03/24 02:40 PM
2

Very true, though remember this is selection bias. Only people who are going through divorces - that are painful or annoying enough - will contribute here
/r/Divorce_Men07/03/24 12:24 AM
1

Prenup. I was very hesitant to get married a second time and just told my girlfriend at the time that we needed to sign a prenup. Emotionally we are super compatible and our communication is amazing, if this relationship only lasts 5 years and there's a painful breakup at the end to me it's worth it as long - as I'm not financially on the hook
/r/Divorce_Men07/03/24 12:24 AM
1

If she had stayed she probably would have been a terrible mother. I know that no mother probably feels worse right now, a terrible mother would be much worse in the long run.
/r/Divorce_Men01/03/24 03:21 PM
4

I know what you mean, while separated and then divorced. I could finally start watching TV shows and movies that I wanted to but she wouldn't let me! Nothing bad, Game of Thrones was one of them
/r/Divorce_Men20/02/24 08:26 PM
2

No, it does not! You enjoy your sauerkraut covered bakes fish. 😁
/r/Divorce_Men20/02/24 08:25 PM
1

That is wild. Though honestly probably a great gift to you, allows you to further detach
/r/Divorce_Men05/02/24 05:20 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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