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PuzzleheadedRow9896 Archive

View 0 posts and 1,372 comments by PuzzleheadedRow9896 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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–

Oh my gosh, the same. I'd literally NEVER met a man who took his appearance, smell, and fashion seriously like him. He always looked so good and smelled like the woods after rain and a bonfire. I'm always looking at him like O.O And he had candles in his space lit. He had favorite scents. Like, someone tell the men we aren't kidding about being attracted to men who take their presentation seriously. And I know so many dudes think they are, but trust, if they were, so many girls would be glued to…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/08/26 04:49 PM
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Having been deeply and fundamentally lonely many times in my life at ages most people would find concerning...loneliness is not something others can solve and only someone who has never really reached maximum level of lonely thinks so. It's something you have to overcome or tolerate yourself. When I went through break ups, sure, my mom came into me crying in the tub listening to Taylor Swift. My friends and I got fast food. My father bought me a new video game to numb the pain. My siblings hung …
/r/PurplePillDebate19/08/26 01:35 AM
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I would agree romance looks different for different people especially as relationships progress and you're very enmeshed. I would say they all more or less follow patterns of effort, attempts to cause joy, showing you think of someone when they are not around, and self-sacrifice.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/08/26 01:21 AM
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I was thinking of a lack of jobs or even leaving the house, honestly. But, I also wouldn't think it lazy or cowardly to not pursue as a woman given that you can still largely succeed in dating if you don't and there's really no expectation that you do these things. It's kind of like how I'm not lazy for not lifting concrete all day...no one ever thought I was cut out for that. And I'm not cowardly for not trying cuz again, not my skillset really.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/08/26 01:19 AM
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A date and hey can I give you my dick aren't the same thing to me. I was friends with my husband first. He asked me out for pizza and a Sunday drive, not come over and bang.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/08/26 01:17 AM
–

I'm suggesting that entering relationships, love, or romance with a bean counting perspective is unlikely to yield good results. I don't see this as a man v woman's way comment.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/08/26 01:16 AM
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No, I do not think it is common for women to have the luxury of separating sex and companionship in the way some men try to. Yes, I think some people judge the validation of a relationship by the chase and value of the person they can get to want them.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/08/26 09:36 PM
3

And it's so sad. I love when my husband dresses up and preens. He's so handsome and sparkly when he does.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/08/26 09:32 PM
–

Gross. No. If he's my friend he'd know I'd never do that. Just yucky. That's a sign we aren't meant to be friends.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/08/26 09:31 PM
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No. I've gone on dates curious if I had the wrong impression out of an over abundance of open mindedness.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/08/26 09:30 PM
0

I can't tell you. I can tell you that's the wrong approach to romance, love, and relationships. The entire perspective is flawed.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/08/26 09:28 PM
5

I'd attend that party too. It feels very much like a corset may be appropriate.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/08/26 09:26 PM
–

I'm actually not doing that. I'm agreeing they are not dateable by almost any stretch of the imagination. What I'm disagreeing with is the way criticism is given because it makes it seem like they could nearly NEVER be good guys without altering basically every element and inch of their personality. And this is generally not the case, there's a few pretty vital problems which are solvable happening. They are not asshole from fingernail to toenail, they've got some pretty bad asshole traits that …
/r/PurplePillDebate18/08/26 07:48 PM
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100%.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/08/26 07:46 PM
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I'm married. He treats me like his princess and I treat him like a prince. Monarchy may or may not follow depending on if we reach our full warlord potential.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/08/26 06:31 PM
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Or just a thought: they find an actual prince who wants to treat them like a princess and ride off into the sunset together. And if they can't have that they'd rather no one because why have someone who isn't meeting your desires and standards?
/r/PurplePillDebate18/08/26 06:26 PM
3

They're distributed differently because one is told it is everything and the other is told it's gay and womanly. But they both seem to enjoy it equally.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/08/26 06:23 PM
20

This is so well said I think you should just copy and paste this places. The rage I see men have for a woman dressing up with her lady friends to go have tea and take pictures and eat cute shit will never make sense. Like, I'm sorry your soul is black as the night, but yes, frivolous fun has been known to be something some people enjoy a lot. Go eat a Nine Inch Nail cd.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/08/26 05:41 PM
3

Press F to pay respects to men. That seems like a really awful way to be born to not enjoy treats. I couldn't imagine. So glad I was born a lady.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/08/26 05:39 PM
4

Frankly, I'd eat at a cheesecake factory with Hitler and basically feel good about it. I love the Cheesecake factory. It slaps so hard. I once stopped there to get a bunch of different slices of cheesecake to bring home to freeze and my husband and I tried different flavors for a month. Part of the list of non-romantic things I constantly do for him. But yes, I agree with you over-all. Part of the problem men have with romance is that they do not acknowledge female acts of service and effort as …
/r/PurplePillDebate18/08/26 05:38 PM
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Yes, I am agreeing they have asshole traits. I am not agreeing having some asshole traits is the same as being an asshole in total. You and I both have some asshole traits. I don't think either of us is an asshole. They have one or two fatal asshole traits. They are not an asshole in total. If you knew them, you would not be like "Chuck is an asshole". You would say something more like "Chuck is a sore loser, but otherwise a decent guy". Even if you knew that meant you'd never date him. You'd th…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/08/26 05:34 PM
5

I couldn't tell you if a woman will ever do that for you. What I can say is it wouldn't make it wrong for you to want it or a woman to want it from you or another man who is not you. No, they're really not. I mean, expense is relative, but I can get a nice bunch of flowers for about $9 bucks on a good day and $15 on a bad one. That is not a lot of money to have a woman smiling and humming for days to weeks. It's really not. A romantic dinner can happen anywhere that is pretty or thoughtful and c…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/08/26 05:26 PM
3

Thank you.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/08/26 05:15 PM
–

OH totally! I'm saying they think you're calling them a complete asshole rather than suggesting there's some work to be done. Think of it like art, it's the difference between saying their painting could use some work, needs perspective, the colors aren't working and saying your entire fucking painting is a total mess, burn it. They are receiving what is said as the latter because it basically is being sort of said like it is the latter. And their entire painting isn't bad, just some of it.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/08/26 05:15 PM
32

I'm going to put this in what I personally perceive to be the best dumb male speak version I've seen to date. Andrew Schultz complains about the very thing you're kind of dancing around. One of his buddies asks him if he prefers it when his wife cooks him dinner or gets take-out. He of course says both are fine, but that he prefers when she cooks him dinner, because it shows effort and care for him. As he's saying this, he laughs realizing that a woman wanting flowers, or chocolate, or a fancy d…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/08/26 04:13 PM
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So, when I think of the dudes I know that struggle to get ladies or never get them, it is true that I can usually point at one or two things in their personality that are almost inevitably the driving reason they are struggling. And usually, they all fit a similar pattern more or less: obsessive about childish things, hyper-competitive and petty when losing, disagreeable over random and unpredictable things, lazy, cowardly, or they have very poor judgement over who would actually be into them. B…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/08/26 03:11 PM
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No, you sound like you don't. They are being manipulated in multiple ways on multiple fronts by someone doing everything in their power to stop them from seeing the truth. They've typically been isolated and had their sense of self and confidence destroyed slowly. And any time they get the nerve to leave the predator changes up to convince them things will be different this time. And if they still remain strong the predator either threatens self harm, to harm shared children or pets, or finally …
/r/PurplePillDebate18/08/26 04:06 AM
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coughs that's because almost all dangerous physical abusers are men depending on how we're defining dangerous.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/08/26 03:59 AM
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Do you usually say things so ugly? This is really ugly dude. They are shocked. Ask any abuse victim about the first time something happened and you'll get all their shock, horror, and shame. And then you'll get them thinking they should leave and then not being able to for like a thousand reasons anyone with compassion could imagine. And of course it's not a one off. Why do they go back? Have you ever wondered? Have you ever talked to them? You think it's poor pattern recognition? No, it's becau…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/08/26 03:58 AM
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Are you her therapist? No. Are you asking for the reasons a therapist would? No. Are you providing the resources and support a therapist would? Also no. Do you understand the dynamics and play in ans around the person experiencing this? Also fucking no. So I must conclude your goal is not therapeutic nor constructive. And worse, you lack the balls to admit you're just dancing on someone else's torment. At least that could be mildly respectable- the honesty. Instead, you're a vulture that lies ab…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/08/26 03:53 AM
5

I could believe it. And we wish you well. Live your truth!
/r/PurplePillDebate18/08/26 01:38 AM
0

Tell me you don't understand the cycle without telling me. Yes, they know. They believe he will be different or will change. You are not helping them to point it out in such a callous and unfeeling way. You're just enjoying their downfall and salting the wounds. Which is grim to be doing with abuse victims.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/08/26 11:02 PM
2

Woman is abused by a known abuser - kind of a rare case, but let's pretend here. What does the purpose of asking her that serve? She's the one what got her head slammed off the kitchen counter, I think she knows she fucked up. So what is this, salting the wound? Making sure she really really knows she's a fucking moron? Come on. You can't be this stupid to know why it is in poor taste to ask someone this. No. Cuz your woman vs other woman is pretty obvious. You get to have boundaries, not make t…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/08/26 07:46 PM
10

Seriously, I'd have upvoted the hell out of that one.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/08/26 07:39 PM
9

I'm an extremely independent woman. This didn't prevent me from finding a wonderful husband nor succeeding hugely in business, my community, and now the education system. In fact, I'd go so far as to say the communication skills required to succeed in those areas are completely unrelated to how independent or dependent you are. And, parents have many fears for daughters. You named one. My parents also feared me not finding fulfilling work, vocations, community, and living a life completely for a…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/08/26 07:39 PM
2

There's a difference between individually living your life in a certain way and instating some rule everyone has to follow. So yes, I do in fact have moral high ground.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/08/26 06:22 PM
2

Totally agree. Again, it's the third option when inconsiderate and lazy can no longer explain the behavior.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/08/26 04:05 PM
10

Women don't believe men are insufferable and crazy. They go with inconsiderate, lazy, or evil. And look, as men's lawyer, I recommend they switch to inconsiderate, lazy, or evil. It's a much better case. Cuz see, inconsiderate, lazy, and evil are human condition shit. We all know people like that regardless of gender, and it does seem like most people even, right? So saying part of the most people is half a gender who are just doing it slightly more than the other gender, SUPER believable. But i…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/08/26 02:34 PM
27

Sorry, maybe it's just that my husband and I have been binging Tires this week, but I gotta go with the men on this one. They would absolutely date and fuck women they find insufferable and crazy and stay in relationships with them. They'd genuinely date them. This is in part because especially when young (and many never grow out of this), men genuinely believe all women are insufferable and crazy to some highish degree. They believe that's the cost of doing business and part of the whole lady t…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/08/26 01:52 PM
9

I don't think most women are dwelling in panic because of you. It's a quick ocular pat down trying to sense if there's danger and then you conclude probably not and go back to what you were doing. It's not active discomfort especially in public spaces. Don't take it personally, most of us had dudes being weird to us starting at age 10. It leaves you in a state of wariness. If you want any advice to make it better, try a warm smile if you happen to make eye contact and then go about your business…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/08/26 01:48 PM
–

People are insecure about all kinds of wild shit that has nothing to do with reality. I know, I'm a girl that grew up in the age of thigh gaps and pencil thin eyebrows. People can make an insecurity out of anything. They really aren't anymore is the problem. Body positivity did some good. Ain't about liking um. It's now a mark of pride. But I can twist just about anything if I want to. Same as anyone. Men judge each other for that way more than women do. And I'm a woman, so if I'm hurling the in…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/08/26 03:42 AM
1

Nope, I'm ok with some gender norms. I grewed up and decided some of them are for me. I ain't scared, just not as stupid as I used to be. I still like pretty dresses and hairbows tho. I wanted an assertive and confident man capable of dealing with rejection without falling apart and I got one. Hooray.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/08/26 02:56 AM
1

It's true, I'm not sex positive. Y'all are strange and I hope it's consensual and happens outside my realm of awareness. Gohbless
/r/PurplePillDebate17/08/26 02:54 AM
0

Weird because I was actually defending them in some sense. I think people are fine to be introverts, but if you're trying to describe what makes an introvert an introvert, well, they experience people very differently and have anti social and disagreeable tendencies almost by definition. They also rarely have that wow charisma factor to have experienced what that entails and have often been mistreated so they view that as more powerful. It's a misapprehension caused by their experiences which in…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/08/26 02:38 AM
1

I'd have to say lesbian porn. Again, it's all gross and off putting, but women's bodies are not shocking for me in the same way and usually the porn is marginally more gentle and marginally less degrading and violent. The Japanese thing is just fucking weird and all of that stuff is just fucking weird, honestly. Normal porn will make you think men should be castrated. Japanese porn will make you want a separate grocery store so that you don't have to even encounter men because it makes your skin…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/08/26 02:35 AM
3

I think you're confusing seasonal variations in a friendship with the loss of friendship altogether. My friends are currently in the young child season. We do our best to make time for each other and still hang out, but of course it's not the same as when we all only had husbands or had no one. I'm dealing with some health struggles so I haven't seen as much of my community lately as health struggles tend to cause a greater insulation and relying on family. But even still, right before my surger…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/08/26 02:29 AM
6

It's just not for me. I don't want to be someone's only real tether to reality, I want them to have social skills to charm a room if necessary, I want them to have others they're bouncing off of and doing things with and strong community ties. I don't want to feel like I'm the burden dragging them from their comfort zone nor do I want to regularly go to affairs alone and be the only person with close connections while they're just politely keeping up and counting down to go home and back to thei…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/08/26 02:02 AM
1

I'm so fundamentally sad for you that you think a wife and an escort are the same thing. So let me spoil the fantasy: I actually like my husband and am attracted to him. I love him. I don't do anything I do for him for a pay check. And I don't think about having sex with him and shudder.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/08/26 01:42 AM
–

It's really not. I don't think there's a problem with stretch marks, but if I was playing a game with single mothers and we were losing, you can bet that'd be my go to insult. The only requirement for an insult is that the person I'm insulting feel badly about it. I'd make fun of shit I also like or was if I thought it would score. Dude who wrote this said getting laid. So I left options open, but acknowledged the relatively shallow nature of the complaint. Oh no, no random stranger wants my dic…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/08/26 01:40 AM
–

Thinking someone is beneath you is not the same as thinking they're sub human, dude. I think meth heads are beneath me. I don't think they're subhuman.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/08/26 01:35 AM
5

It's so wholesome.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/08/26 06:21 PM
–

Ok, well, I'm not counting middle schoolers either. Very young kids think being tall makes you better than others. I'm saying unless you're going by the standards of stupid and very immature people, which you should not be, you're fine. Stop hurting yourself.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/08/26 06:20 PM
–

Oh sweetie, you won't grow apart. And she's not a full adult woman. And you know it. And trust me, part of the rage men like you feel towards women like me is that we're succeeding in shutting down your bullshit. She's going to wish she never met you. She's going to wish you were dead. She's going to list you as one of the worst things that ever happened to her. That's not growing apart. That's prey realizing you were a predator. And the best part, once she gets past all that, she's going to pit…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/08/26 05:26 PM
1

I mean, I married the first man I fucked, but I'd dated other men. Was it special? Not really. I definitely built it up to be way more than it actually was. He was gentle, but it was actually pretty boring and not really pleasant. It took awhile for sex to be fun. Do I think I'll always remember my husband? Yes. But I'm not convinced if we'd broken up he would have been some magical unicorn I always thought of with some wistful glow no man could match. I really like him obviously and there was a…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/08/26 04:40 PM
3

I prefer not to watch porn. If forced to watch porn, I prefer zero dicks in that porn. A dick that isn't your dick is gross and off-putting.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/08/26 04:36 PM
1

I'm not even imagining that. I'm saying 40 is far past prime no matter what lies porn and media spread. 19 year old girls like 20ish guys. That's what is hot. 40 is so far from prime it might as well be in another building. The entire concept of a silver fox is this guy looks good for his age. Not that he doesn't look his age. And looking your age compared to 19 is a yikes for the 19 year old.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/08/26 04:32 PM
1

Lmao. I love how the word adults always comes up when we know one of the players is barely an adult. I never call my husband an adult because it's not creepy shit happening. I'm not pathologizing anything I don't know about. I'm sorry you think preying on the pain and hurt of others is acceptable, but I'm here to try to protect young folk, I only wish grown ass men like yourself didn't see young women as fair game and instead sought to protect them too. And I really love how you're all suddenly …
/r/PurplePillDebate16/08/26 04:30 PM
–

It doesn't mean that at all. That's a demon you got talking in your ear. I'd get it out.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/08/26 04:26 PM
–

I'm a woman, I have many many lady friends and lady community members. Men misread women not being attracted to them as finding them sub-human. They are not open about anything else. They aren't into you.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/08/26 03:25 PM
–

Quacks like a duck, you're gonna get called a duck. Doesn't mean you're a duck. Just means you sound like one. And no, incel does not mean inherently unattractive or short or poor, especially not to the people throwing it as an insult. It's more or less telling them they're a misogynistic lunatic, which may or may not be true. Again, stop spreading these falsehoods.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/08/26 03:23 PM
–

I don't think anyone sees anyone unable to form a romantic bond as sub-human or low value. Complaining about an inability to fuck is trashy regardless of gender, but it doesn't make me think they are sub-human. It makes me think they have a gross approach to sexuality. More deeply, a lot of this makes me think they're whiney and kind of uselessly so. Like, we can't go fund me them getting laid. On the list of problems you can have in the world, this one may actually be the most champagne problem…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/08/26 03:17 PM
3

Assuming she didn't touch you, you're correct, you are not a victim. The fact you're here arguing for 20 year age gap attraction would indicate to me something is afoot in your psyche which is indicative of trauma or seeking a survival element that was not present in your home-life at that age. But leaving that aside, you're also male. The indiscriminate nature of male sexuality, especially when combined with pornography is well documented. Not so for women. So, frankly, why are you telling a wo…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/08/26 02:58 PM
6

Not at all. I'm 32. 40 is right around the corner. But to a 19 year old. Absolutely light years. They were creepy and gross back then and the only reason young women go near them is trauma or survival.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/08/26 01:28 PM
4

No one thinks this. They just think they shouldn't fuck and that there should be some really obvious boundaries. I have a mentor. We met when I was 21 and he was 42. There were a lot of boundaries. He and his wife came to my wedding almost a decade later. We're closer friends now and we talk more like friends now that I'm 32 and he's into his 50s. It's been a great work relationship and friendship. But there's also a quasi parental dynamic there because I'm a lot like one of his 5 children. But …
/r/PurplePillDebate16/08/26 01:22 PM
3

No. I don't. I know when I'm that age they won't be. But right now, it's meant to be gross. I'm the normal one. Fucked up people think 19 year olds should be thrilled at the idea of a 40 year old body. They aren't they're either traumatized or surviving. Stop watching porn.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/08/26 01:17 PM
2

They're gross too. And yeah, trauma or survival are the reasons. Let's not pretend true love or anything healthy is on the table. And the man's reason for choosing is exploitative. In my opinion, at whatever age they're no longer allowing their trauma and fears to fully dictate their life. Typically, this begins to happen in your mid to late 20s. Until then, there's a reason healthy, mature adults try to protect them, not fuck them.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/08/26 01:16 PM
1

No, I want to give them a home where mom and dad are in love and romance with each other. Not bare tolerance and apathy.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/08/26 01:13 PM
10

It's kind of like how at 19 the idea of touching a 19 year old guy felt right...but now at 32, I look at them and the idea of kissing one feels like the idea of making out with a puppy or grade schooler. I'm different than I was 13 years ago. The idea of touching a 40 year old man at 19 is gross. The wrinkles, the skin, the way weight is placed, even the smell is like thinking about your dad or uncle or Oscar the grouch. But now at 32, it's like, good, a man should have a few miles and all. My b…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/08/26 04:46 AM
6

Same!
/r/PurplePillDebate16/08/26 04:42 AM
4

You don't have to. Plenty of old gay rich dudes who would give you that...unless you're not attracted to them...would that be a problem? Again, you cannot be this dumb. It's impossible. The reason why no is because it's gross, you aren't really interested in him, it isn't love, it's really not even affection, it's prostitution for one client with more lies.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/08/26 03:54 AM
7

When you ask me the difference between a normal boring job and fucking and old dude, I didn't choose the deep end, it was already crazy land I had to go to.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/08/26 03:30 AM
8

Cuz it involves sex and touching gross old men. And usually, the only way someone would willingly do that beyond prostitution which you do not seem to be describing and I'd be against that too for the record, is if she's got trauma this old fuck is exploiting. You're not stupid, so, I'm assuming you, on your own, can figure out the difference between getting an old guy coffee and blowing him. If you can't, well, I invite you to try both and write a compare and contrast essay. I'd be shocked if y…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/08/26 03:13 AM
19

My favorite random sub reddit has sent me lately is the bald sub reddit. I'm slowly becoming convinced all men stand a 75% to be more gorgeous if they'd just shave their heads. It's amazing. That's gonna be my new dating advice. Lose the gross hair, give face.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/08/26 03:07 AM
2

In some cases it made it more contentious, in some it made it more respectful and courteous. Obviously, it has given women the ability to be independent, which in turn means women are now able to choose not to accept the interests of some men while courting the interests of others. And being single or on the shelf is acceptable for ladies. It has opened the case of women as sexual agents with their own dreams and desires on that front (although, I'd argue there's a lot left to do on this front a…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/08/26 07:17 PM
4

Bad reading comprehension my dude, I'm arguing against someone claiming men are the reasonable ones by nature...mostly by going "oh really, is this rationality at its finest? Doesn't seem that way to me!" I did not make the claim women are more so, I suggest evidence for that as a counter point.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/08/26 03:25 PM
3

Professional development is stupid 90% of the time. Watching a college administrator discover low level education concepts like learning outcomes is a hoot, but wasting the time of every educator with a master's here.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/08/26 03:15 PM
2

I'd divorce him either way, but given we share all finances, I would be slightly more pissed cuz that's my money too!!!
/r/PurplePillDebate15/08/26 02:49 PM
9

You hear that ladies...OP says we're finally allowed to send the bad men to the the arena to fight to the death and make them do long term island survival games to the death. And we get to decide who the bad men are!! And I dunno about you, but I'd love watching a bunch of noodle armed non survivalist or fighter types try their hand at surviving or gladiating. Be a hoot. And if that pesky moral compass of yours says it's wrong to round up a good 80% of the male population and keep them in camps …
/r/PurplePillDebate15/08/26 02:16 PM
1

Thank you. I really did try to think about generic average advice most men struggling could benefit from that isn't preachy and doesn't necessarily assume a lack of say trimming your fingernails.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/08/26 02:11 PM
9

I didn't say that and you know it. I'm suggesting rationality and logic are not gendered and if they must be, I wouldn't give it to men. As for this boringly common accusation about neonatal homicides, I think we both know the women doing that are experiencing post partum depression which is a documented psychiatric illness. And like all psychiatric illnesses, it makes you beyond unreasonable, it disconnects you from reality itself. Unfortunately for your comparison, men generally have all their…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/08/26 02:10 PM
33

I'm gonna start with just one thing: the ability to hide or suppress emotions being displayed is not a sign they aren't influencing you, not a sign of rationality, and not even a sign of stoicism, and not logical. The insistence that their things are masculine is in fact, the least stoic, most irrational, and most illogical cornerstone of men's bullshit view of themselves and masculinity I've ever seen. You don't get to be the gender leading in Kill Death Ratios, random acts of major and minor v…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/08/26 04:43 AM
6

You know it's interesting you compared men to a dog breed bred to be aggressive and violent and the only question is if it is well trained to be protective or randomly violent. What they call a Freudian Slip Metaphor, I imagine. I'm having one dog put down because it can't do better, the other I'm probably thankful, but avoiding....because while it hasn't done anything wrong, it's still a rottweiler...it is what it has been bred and trained to be and I trust the inevitable aspect of natural inst…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/08/26 03:44 AM
2

In studies by harvard, pedophiles almost always (it was high 90%) and they are the only disorder with numbers notably similar to serial killers as victims (hundreds) and showed the same tendency to move around to avoid detection and capture. They also, like serial killers, showed at best performative remorse and showed no clear signs of being treatable. Their victims often go on to offend themselves and those that don't still suffer life crippling mental illness many times over. They are like va…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/08/26 03:26 AM
1

I already do Brazilian jiu jitsu and I'm pretty bitsy so it has given me the ability to bench press my own body weight...but, I'm thinking maybe more targeted stuff would be smart?
/r/PurplePillDebate15/08/26 03:20 AM
6

Never have children. Not even close.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/08/26 04:40 PM
6

It's because a lot of them have been traumatized by dominant and disagreeable people, so they see this as the only way to lead, get what you want, be respected, and be safe. And trying to convince them that by far, being the most liked person in the room who makes others feel accommodated, pleasant, and important is extremely powerful just doesn't go down like that because they haven't experienced being that level of likable in most cases. They also deeply don't want to spend their time that way…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/08/26 01:07 PM
3

It varies, honestly. I was raised in a way that often left me and my feelings and desires feeling like an inconvenience that could lead to abandonment. And thus with my husband there's times I shut down when angry so as not to be an inconvenience even if I'm fuming because I don't want to be abandoned when I can just stew like a pressure cooker about it. Clearly, something I'm working on since he's figured out that's the motivator. In other relationships, I learned early on that even if I did sh…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/08/26 11:26 AM
1

Or learning and mimicking them appropriately?
/r/PurplePillDebate14/08/26 11:18 AM
1

The little research I did indicates your odds of divorce reduce by each added year up to the age of 32.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/08/26 11:13 AM
5

Cool beans. This is why I'm glad I married a man who would put such a man in the ground for sniffing after any daughters we may have and their friends. And it's also why I'm glad that older women warn and do our best to protect younger women. And I'm glad we have celebrities like Taylor Swift sharing their exploitation and feelings on the matter in a way that I'm sure has prevented many such relationships from occurring. And it's why I'm glad we've worked through the MeToo movement to make women…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/08/26 04:33 AM
1

If you want to be bad faith, be bad faith. Ain't gonna ruin my day. The LGBT community is, I would argue, on the absolute cutting edge of sex positivity with particular emphasis on the realms of taboo, weird, freaky, alternative lifestyle, etc. The male portion of this representing by far the most edgy and taboo elements. And lest it seem I am observing something unfairly, they would cosign this is their brand of sexual positivity. I'm calling it degeneracy because I really couldn't think of a b…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/08/26 04:24 AM
2

I mean, there really isn't another group society could demonize we could still date, right? We couldn't date gay men. Straight men are pretty demonized and we still date them....I mean not many...95% are off the table, but we can't reach agreement on which 95% so 95% find someone. Is there another group of men we could be dating but don't cuz I thought the options were straight or bi.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/08/26 03:00 AM
11

Caveat, different men need different advice, so this is general: Take a good long hard sit and ask yourself if there's actually room in your life for a woman. Think about it like getting a dog. You may really want a dog, but do you have time to get to know it, bond with it, walk it, etc...or is it just going to end up spending most of its life in a cage or cramped apartment destroying the furniture because you liked the idea of it when it was new and cute. Getting a relationship is just a dog on…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/08/26 01:56 AM
1

Hey, fair enough. I'm not necessarily convinced of that. I think the desire for sex is likely accurate, I'm not sure the other stuff is part and parcel.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/08/26 07:55 PM
2

I think the easy focus of money and the clearly nebulous and not at all easy believe I'm worthy of love connection is pretty well established. And I'm sure it's not made easier by women talking about not wanting to date a broke boy and other such similar muddying of the waters. And I think a lot of people from all genders really struggle with the concept of loving someone and them not being enough in survival terms. We really hate this concept and find it very unromantic and painful. And there i…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/08/26 07:51 PM
1

Of course, I'm guessing a lot of other women sort of share it, but, I know I can only speak for me.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/08/26 07:46 PM
1

I more mean don't treat it as the main quest line in an open world game in which there's many quest lines, many levels, many regions, many dungeons, and many eras to play through. It's one quest among many and you honestly can't know who will best fit into your party and the needs of your party until you've played a lot of other elements in the game. And this idea that you can just pick your party member and then you'll grow together is absolutely retarded and our parents generations have proved…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/08/26 07:44 PM
4

I mean, I'd need more info than you're giving, but, I think a lot of boundary issues comes down to who is actually willing to enforce them and who isn't. My experience of certain kinds of women is that they know they can replace their man without even breaking a sweat so they enforce their boundaries with great relish. I know other types of women that couldn't enforce a boundary if you put them on Caleb Hammer and told them their man was cheating. Guys are less likely to be sure they can replace…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/08/26 07:40 PM
3

I don't think any of this is about love. Love is a separate element of a romantic relationship. I loved my ex boyfriends and probably still would in a thinner and more ghostly memory way even now....but god help me, I did not want to do life with them because they were messes. In the "This War of Mine" survival game of life, they were liabilities and downers. And not even just financially, but like, in nearly all discernable ways. I think men focus on money because money is very easy and tangibl…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/08/26 07:36 PM
3

I'm always intrigued by the assertion that the things let's assume a lot of women find egregious or revolting in certain typed male behavior is part and parcel to male sexuality (indiscriminate lust, risky sexual behaviors, emphasis on taboo sex acts, degrading or controlling of partner sexually). Like, I really do wonder if this is part and parcel of male sexuality. Like if we popped a man on an uncharted desert island would he inherently develop in these ways? Or is this environmental items (p…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/08/26 07:28 PM
1

Not really here to debate the why of it. Just saying this is what the prospect of dating is for women. And it's not a surprise so many will go "nah, I'mma pass".
/r/PurplePillDebate13/08/26 01:19 PM
1

That's not being special in a way women would enjoy as that would include any man finding her special again. It's not about her, it's about him.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/08/26 01:18 PM
0

It's just a joke, bro. Calm down.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/08/26 03:56 AM
1

I think there is some accuracy here, in that men's constant messaging about their indiscriminate lust for all women generically and particularly young, hot, fun, thin women without much concern for personality, values, or partnership quality does impact the average man's ability to get a relationship. I can remember telling many a male friend women are looking to be special and the one, not the body a man is choosing for now or willing to accept and build into a thing he could pleasantly enjoy f…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/08/26 02:32 AM
6

He came that one time and made what he claims is a lot of jizz, so he lost a lot of protein that day. Women need to stop taking it.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/08/26 12:21 AM
4

For sure. Shit. You're making me think I should start weight lifting. 🤣
/r/PurplePillDebate13/08/26 12:19 AM
5

Most women need supplements, dude. Most of menstruate which is the loss of vital nutrients for 3-5 days a month. Being a woman inherently causes a need for higher protein and nutrient levels.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/08/26 12:18 AM
3

The olde male snark of "but did you die?"
/r/PurplePillDebate13/08/26 12:16 AM
3

I don't have a phobia of needles, I was just in massive denial and my parents were so busy no one forced me to until I was literally sleeping like 4 hours in the middle of the day, but not depressed. I was getting periods every 17 days for no apparent reason. Good to know. I dunno if I could eat that much, I already eat lots of veg and carbs.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/08/26 12:11 AM
3

The pills made me horribly constipated and the infusion was just being stuck and then bored for two hours and I feel so much better it's uncanny. The ice chewing addiction is just gone. Yeah. Same. Peppers are really good for citrus too especially spicy ones!
/r/PurplePillDebate12/08/26 09:00 PM
2

Very interesting, indeed. Someone's FBI agent just got a longer day's work...
/r/PurplePillDebate12/08/26 08:57 PM
2

I can't help it.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/08/26 08:55 PM
6

I am anemic and have been working on it through diet and getting infusions. And this mother fucker thinks men need protein more? Bitch, I practically have a prescription for cheeseburgers and steak from my doctor. (Mods, please note I am using bitch and mother fucker for comedic effect, I am sure OP is not a MFer or a B word).
/r/PurplePillDebate12/08/26 08:54 PM
3

Look, I think this line of inquiry is stupid too, but it also honestly would never work. Men have been trying to shame women into dating them for ages now. I haven't seen the needle moving. So let them try. We wish them well in their attempts. The reality is, you know the content of your character and why you're doing what you're doing. If it's not homophobia...then let them talk and say go with God. I know what I said and I know what I meant. This is straight men using bi men as a bludgeon to a…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/08/26 05:18 PM
28

Damn women eating all the chicken wings and eggs. What's next, steak and a lick day?
/r/PurplePillDebate12/08/26 05:13 PM
24

Why do you think working a job or two is a man thing? Women have been working since the beginning of time. The only real change is that now we can exclusively have a job if we want to and we can make a living. The protein thing is just in vogue right now for all genders. Soon it'll be something else. Not sure why eating protein is a man thing, especially since traditionally women need it more than men due to menstruation. That's why you see tribal cultures giving women the protein, especially th…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/08/26 05:11 PM
1

I am.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/08/26 03:40 PM
1

By way of easy example, my cousins are gay as shit. All the fucking and getting fucked by dudes. They're married to dude (super gay). They're both attractive men who are very masculine with just a slight amount of the feminine polish most women love gay men for having and wish straight men would try a little more of. If they aren't failing masculinity by sucking and fucking dick, why on earth would I say a bi dude is? Your math would basically be Just likes men = masculine Just likes women = mas…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/08/26 01:54 AM
1

Never did online dating, calling the guy an acquaintance would be a bit off, we were friends going on a first date. Yes, I covered it in part because I was four years older with a job and he was still in college without a job so I didn't take no for an answer because I'd caused the meeting up to happen and while I can't say I explicitly asked for a date, I imagine it was implied. I felt obligated by the age difference, financial difference, life stage difference, and that I'd asked him to meet u…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/08/26 01:32 AM
2

I think a good first step is refusing to cosign the first layer delusion that they are normal, doing fine, or just like sex. After that, I mean, I think it's often saying cheesy platitudes that none the less are very true and often letting them let out a lot of the rage they're usually carrying. And, after that, I dunno, I'm not a therapist genuinely, but I think compassion does a lot even if it's one voice saying you don't have to live this way. And I do suspect especially the darker the trauma…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/08/26 11:16 PM
8

Yeah, I'm sure you can guess my answer is that there's a few differences between us and monkeys. Just a little. A couple. Some. And that those differences make us well different such that I don't conceptualize healthy society nor individuals based on my observations of how they live. Sure, human history contains other arrangements...typically predicated on the loss of freedom and extreme acts of violence. And also you know in the past, fallen empires all. And none of them seem to fit any concept…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/08/26 07:45 PM
6

I agree aversion and phobiac avoidance is also a trauma response, yes. I agree trauma manifests different ways. I don't necessarily agree that avoidance isn't better than self destruction. Self destruction almost inherently is more harmful to the self and others. And often has a deadline before it is fatal or irreversible. Avoidance is mildly harmful to self and rarely harmful to others by its very nature. It also rarely has a fatality or being irreversible. But yes, I'm not pretending the women…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/08/26 07:36 PM
7

It could be. I think a lot of couples avoid problems in themselves and their relationship via sex certainly. Do I think it's as inherently likely to be as say an airtight orgy? Nope. Do I think it's as likely as someone asking you to shove rocks up their ass? Also nope. But is it possible? Certainly. Especially depending on the type of sex happening. Again, if you're saying pee and shit on me and hit me with a brick while I cry and you masterbate in my open head wound....I don't think I'm any ki…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/08/26 07:31 PM
9

Well, and you're free to have a different moral code than me obviously again, America baby: I try not to exploit the wounds on people I can detect for my own benefit. I'm not going to be apart of your implosion. I won't be a 13th reason as best I can help it. I won't buy a drunk a drink and I'm not gonna fuck a sex freak. I try not to add to the problems of a person or world. And if I can help heal them I will try to. I think the problem in a lot of these communities and spaces is the simple iss…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/08/26 07:28 PM
19

I feel like I'm probably the kind of woman you're mentioning in the sense I assume women who are doing this stuff are self-destructive, suffering trauma, and dealing with some real shit internally. I think the same of men by the way, but I recognize men often are less obviously hurt because they've been taught sex is curative and validating even as they debauch and harm themselves through it. And look, I'm not sure most of them are aware of this, right, like they are and they aren't. I dunno if …
/r/PurplePillDebate11/08/26 06:23 PM
3

Oh. That would require most of them to get over the "icky" factor.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/08/26 03:04 PM
2

They do, all the time. They tell us how crazy and unreasonable it makes us.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/08/26 01:21 PM
-1

I think you're being way too normal and reasonable for how a lot of these men think. A lot of these men think they're rebels against the social order, refusing to be joiners, or seeking out their ideal match. And that's just the cover story. The reality is a majority are just bringing this up in some weird gotcha against women not being feminist or progressive enough and this being undeniable proof that there's a lot of rules for thee and not for me going on. When you outline how that is not the…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/08/26 01:20 PM
2

Men cannot give birth nor breastfeed...so I'd say it's all fun and games until that shit hits the fan. When it does, I've got some real specific ideas of what gender roles we're each fulfilling and the man shouldn't be eager to argue unless he can show me how he'll do half the gestating, having his genitals torn open, and milk production. If he can then yeah, we can be pure 50/50.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/08/26 12:09 AM
0

I think any time a gender does something let's say negative, viceful, or just you know it could be better, it gets attributed to a lack of feminity or masculinity. Everyone dislikes a coward regardless of gender. Especially when they have all the motivation in the world to try and kiss the girl so to speak or kiss the boy. That's just life. We all look down on that, it is what it is. The only real difference is that generally speaking men will still wanna fuck a cowardly beech. Ask them why, cuz…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/08/26 07:30 PM
1

Again, it would not be equal. You can't have a child nor suffer the consequences nor nurse and other fathers are working and doing home making because home making really doesn't take that long and child care can be done by family. ... The nest egg idea is hogwash, but slightly improved hogwash because rather than a nest egg you could just have paid paternity leave rather than wasting this nest egg not necessarily. That's the problem with your idea, you are not addressing how fundamentally wastef…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/08/26 05:38 PM
–

So you agree I would be paying something. Which is higher than zero for family. If you aren't helping pay or having babies, get the fuck off my property leech. If I'm paying for you, you don't have twice the value compared to people that cost me nothing and do the same work. That's just fact. Why? You'd just tell me they don't count. Can't agree with any of these assertions so not even gonna swing at who is a better parent. I don't have much to say about the G in LGBT. Everything I've seen is th…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/08/26 05:28 PM
–

O o because uncle and grandpa are not a husband. Not sure how many more times I can tell you these things are not comparable. Every man is not interchangeable in the part they play. It is and was about time for healing. I don't know why you don't know that but in many many cultures mom is bed rested for 3 months following giving birth. It is not about bonding, they're bonded. It's about breastfeeding and her healing and the baby being bonded to her already. And yes, dad needs to bond, but not by…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/08/26 05:09 PM
2

I'll try telling you this again: because a man who works is also meant to do those things on top of working. So you are offering to do significantly less than the working man. No, I wouldn't. Let me make my perspective abundantly clear: when a woman is pregnant, she should have the option to cease working or doing much of anything besides gestating as soon as necessary and certainly by the 5 to 6 month mark. Once the baby comes she's essentially disabled due to how taxing the birthing process, b…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/08/26 03:10 AM
1

I'm suggesting this difference would make it not hypocritical.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/08/26 02:48 AM
0

No and no. If my husband told me to shut up he'd be looking for me at my mother or best friend's house and he better have a good explanation or I'd be sure his life stayed hell until he apologized for being a piece of shit. I'm not sure where your idea of a woman who accepts that comes from. Maybe your own wet dreams (sad), but I really can't find it in popular media of almost any era. As for fucks on demand, ick. Just ick. My vagina does as I please when I please. It's not free use and I hope e…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/08/26 02:11 AM
1

I'm suggesting the difference is actually between good at all and even better
/r/PurplePillDebate10/08/26 12:27 AM
0

I mean it matters a little, I think. Why you're asking to use a tool matters. "I'd like to use this tool because I literally cannot get over the hill without extra stim. We've tried everything. It isn't you, this is clearly a me problem. I like what you bring and want you to keep bringing it." "That makes me insecure" "Ok...well, what solution do you propose then?" "Just keep fucking me and never orgasm?" "........... right" Vs. "I want a sex toy so sex can be even better/weirder/whateverer" "Th…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/08/26 11:14 PM
0

I wouldn't assume I was if I said no and did use them unless someone is prepared to argue that women and men enjoy sex equally easy and orgasm equally easily. And from my own limited experience...my husband could happily bust a nut in 3 minutes of good activities. I'm not even warmed up after 3 minutes and stuff is still feeling blah at best. Orgasm is still in another country. Now, of course, I understand men will often suggest the similarity may be an emotionalish one of feeling like you aren'…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/08/26 11:03 PM
1

No? But I don't use um either and he's never had trouble with orgasm from our activities. If he did, maybe I'd think about it. Although, if he's not coming from our activities, I would wonder if maybe we should just let the sex thing go or try other activities ?
/r/PurplePillDebate09/08/26 10:35 PM
2

As we learn in the instant classic and cornerstone on ick philosophy show "Nobody Wants This", the ick is not a call for men to alter behavior nor divine message nor even truly rational. It's just deep gutteral disgust and a turn off which is typically devoid or rhyme or reason or morality. It is often impossible or extremely rare to conquer. It's like how I feel about people that really like Bring It On. There's nothing objectively wrong with them, I just know we aren't meant to be friends.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/08/26 09:36 PM
5

I don't have any. Kinda find them weird and gross honestly. It's just not sexy to me. I dunno, might be too many video games, it just seems like fucking an n64 controller to me. Like ehck
/r/PurplePillDebate09/08/26 06:00 PM
4

She does get pregnant and you don't. Complain to nature if you must, but the facts don't care about your feelings. She needs to heal. She needs to gestate. She needs to nurse. You can't do any of these things. And usually, the husband cooks and cleans and goes to work while she's doing these things and does infant care. So you offering to just do infant care and clean and cook is less than most men. And is bad for her because now she has to go to work sooner, work longer through pregnancy, and e…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/08/26 05:53 PM
5

Myself and my siblings and my friend are my evidence. I don't have to pay my uncle or my grandparents. They're free. Not even room and board. And when it does parents leave work and make it work. Not a big deal. It's rare, but it happens. I'm aware some people like a stay at home parent. I do too in mild theory. Just not a man and certainly not if there are chilrren. I'm aware people can change their working and not working status. I'm saying any amount of time unpaid not working is a net negati…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/08/26 05:39 PM
2

It wasn't me. I didn't even read the data set. I hate data sets. I have to be paid to look at data sets! Stop confusing me with a smarter more autistic person!!! I'm supporting an equal relationship. We both work full time. We both do house stuff. We both do childcare. If someone is at home it's because of illness or the need of the child - mostly gonna be a woman during and post baby. But if he gets sick sure. Sure. And that's five years of being a useless selfish burden. Five too many in my wo…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/08/26 04:48 PM
1

His company pays for it.....so does mine....this isn't that uncommon. That wasn't me. That was someone else. I wouldn't have said it. I skip things myself cuz I umbrella concepts... I'm confused. Uncles don't usually work so their nieces and nephews can be stay at home parents. We're close, not that close. But he doesn't mind having a few kiddos running around his yard for a few hours and making them some grilled cheese until mom or dad gets off their shift and picks them up. Great. So you know …
/r/PurplePillDebate09/08/26 04:43 PM
4

My husband thinks for himself and is smart enough to know when things benefit him and don't without being short sighted. I like that. He likes when I wear pretty dresses too. Backatcha.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/08/26 04:39 PM
3

He's describing me and how I and my husband were raised and how we hope to raise our kids. I'd call it a witch hunt, but...oh no, my family is coherent, dependable, and loving enough to want to help raise grand kids....how awful I am.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/08/26 04:35 PM
5

I'm fine with those changes. You've gotta live in society eventually and as a home schooler, I'll say the sooner the better. Ivory towers just lead to different damage. 2. My parents, siblings, cousins, and auties/uncles are thrilled at the idea of providing child care. They've all told me so. They told me to keep a job and they'll baby sit until my husband or I are free. And both my husband and I were partially raised by extended family. It takes a village is real and happy. We aren't forcing a…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/08/26 04:31 PM
2

Paternity leave is him working. He has a job. He's paid during that time? After that, again, way too much stuff here and most of it nonsense. Again, you advocate what you want and I'll advocate what I want. If your deal was enticing it wouldn't matter what I advise.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/08/26 04:19 PM
2

I'm not gonna lie, you wrote way too much for me to wanna respond to. I'm just too lazy for it. The ultimate reason you get a man is both love and survivability/ resources. A stay at home dad isn't useful for the latter no matter what you say. And loving him won't make up for that. A nanny is something you'll only need for a few years and then she goes. A stay at home dad isn't gonna leave after 4 years cuz relationship. So he'll always be a net negative. That's all I'm saying.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/08/26 04:18 PM
–

I get what you're driving at. Have a good day.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/08/26 04:14 PM
0

Potato, potata. Relationships are all about compromising, doing things that make others feel good, and being able to conform when necessary. It's an important quality, but I understand it is not to everyone.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/08/26 04:13 PM
1

It's not a change I agree with and it's a stupid change. Grievances. Lmao. I can't with you. Have a good one tho.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/08/26 01:31 PM
2

I cook and clean.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/08/26 01:30 PM
–

What?
/r/PurplePillDebate09/08/26 01:29 PM
2

Why don't you tell me what traditional traditions you think women do for the benefit of the man and I'll tell you if I do them that way we aren't bickering over what counts.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/08/26 04:17 AM
1

I do what I can for those problems and made many personal sacrifices to make some of them better. I suspect more than the free thinker I'm speaking to, frankly. Not what I said. It must be nice to fight that much straw. The who pays for a date is an issue with disagreement. It's not children unable to get life saving medical treatment because mom and dad can't afford a hotel where the best doctor is. Again, knowing which hill deserves your energy rather selecting all of the above and especially …
/r/PurplePillDebate09/08/26 03:26 AM
3

Yeah, I'm feeling the challenge oozing from you. The Social Order is quaking in its boots. We got a badass on our hands. Better to serve in heaven than reign in hell. I'm sure you don't. So don't date them is what I'd suggest. Our filters are working. Isn't that great? I feel I've won at life because I get to wake up every day next to the love of my life, and he's a wonderful man, a true heart's delight. I'm sorry for anyone who doesn't have that yet and I hope they find it. And while I do not c…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/08/26 03:05 AM
2

Good. Again, I think people think I want people with mismatched values to be dating or violating those deeply held values. I don't. Don't date if you can't find someone who matches you. That's a good thing, not a bad thing. We disagree. But I understand if you don't see it as generosity because it's expected. Again, find the girl that matches and if she doesn't exist, that's ok! I think that's doubtful, but I'm happy if it's true. I found my man too. So I'm glad if you found your lady. I think t…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/08/26 02:59 AM
2

I had no better way to explain when someone ignores the societal expectations they know are at play. Awww, look, we have someone that thinks they're a free thinker on our hands. That's why they talk like every other edgy wannabe contrary canary. Did it hurt when you fell from the different tree and hit every branch on the way down? Not at all. I'm filtering out the stubborn mules that are needlessly committed to "standing out" and dying on every hill even the stupid ones. Because I find them pet…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/08/26 02:45 AM
4

The fact no one has said cats, picnics, tea sandwiches, and playing mermaids tells me the men on this sub have a lot of educating themselves to do.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/08/26 02:23 AM
2

Who said I don't obey social traditions I don't want to. See the laughing at a lame joke just because someone told it and wanted me to laugh. See the helping my husband remember shit for his social calendar. Many traditions are upheld by me and when they aren't, I'm ready for the shit storm that inevitably follows. Your problem, is that you're attributing some made up shit in your head to me cuz of damage. O.o if you were doing what women did, you'd be trying to insist she pay for you. And I'm f…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/08/26 02:18 AM
1

Same thing. Avoidance of pain is an advantage over confronting it.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/08/26 11:48 PM
4

I don't see it as transactional unless every time I show up, look pretty, and laugh at a lame joke I'm transacting. But I would just say I'm playing my part as a near stranger to make for a nice time. And I do often feel beholden. And if I'm choosing to break rank, I'm aware that will turn some people off and I accept that consequence as acceptable. The problem is y'all type of men want no consequences for breaking rank.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/08/26 11:47 PM
7

Go off. I really couldn't say it any better. Life is full of moments that aren't about you. Can you see that or not and behave accordingly.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/08/26 11:44 PM
7

I want them to think for themselves and determine to follow the social order and be pleasant despite their own misgivings and go along go get along rather than having to assert main character syndrome over stupid nonsense.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/08/26 11:42 PM
3

What this lady is saying. It's like asking me why on earth I'd want to get all gussied up, put on a pretty dress, have my man in a suit with a fresh trim and good cologne on and then he opens my car door, helps me in, takes cute pictures, we dance, maybe someone else gets married, and we just generally look gorgeous together acting like a lady and a gentleman....uhhhh I feel like much like a good sushi burrito, it's self evident why I would want to do this. And also, much like a good sushi burri…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/08/26 09:19 PM
8

Not at all. I want someone that feels ultimately beholden to certain social traditions even if they don't particularly enjoy it. It shows a level of agreeableness and conscientiousness I'm personally seeking.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/08/26 09:09 PM
14

Yes, vet for the values and behaviors you want just like women are. I'm not using paying for the date to vet for internal goodness. I'm vetting for will he pay even performatively. That doesn't say nothing about him, it's data. You combine it with other data. It excludes men who wouldn't pay. Which even if that is 10% of men it's useful.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/08/26 08:37 PM
4

Ok, so more accurately you are doing it for an edge in the dating marketplace with women you may potentially like because them wanting a man who pays doesn't necessarily indicate anything about them. Sounds like you're benefitting from paying then, correct? Cuz if not I flow chart back to don't and see who is there when the dust clears.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/08/26 06:11 PM
5

Seriously. I don't presume a man will pay. I always have my own money and if he didn't pay, that was fine. I'd pay and then be unlikely to go out again. If he did, I baked bread to say thank you on our next date assuming I wanted to see him again.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/08/26 05:35 PM
16

So you're making a choice against your desired because it gives you an edge in the dating market to get women you don't even like...is that more or less correct? So don't. Again. Say no and see who is still there when the dust clears.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/08/26 05:33 PM
8

This is so simple: don't pay. Just don't do it. You don't want to, you have a strong belief here, so don't do it. Follow your value system, dude. A man doesn't have to pay, I personally will simply give my time, energy, and consideration to the ones that do. And I did. And now I'm married happily. If you want a woman that doesn't want that from you, don't do it. Give your time, energy, and consideration to the ones that go dutch. Solved. Honestly, say it ahead of time and help everyone find the …
/r/PurplePillDebate08/08/26 05:14 PM
9

When they're telling me to put myself in danger for at best a short term thrill...yes. I'm the bus driver, not a passenger. The feelings are a passenger and they get on the bus and off the bus. I decide where we go. No, it makes me wise.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/08/26 05:03 PM
6

I have never wanted sex with a man I barely know...and I've never actually decided to go through with it sans commitment because I'm not a moron led around by the whims of my hormonal cycle and chocha. I'm sorry some women are...although I do not think that's how men came to think like this.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/08/26 03:06 PM
3

I'm not sure you're understanding me, but I'll try again: When I say I'm warning them off of it, I'm saying it like if a woman told me they were considering having their leg cut off. I wouldn't say "Well, be sure you screen for a good doctor talented at cutting legs off". No, I'd say "Don't cut your bloody leg off". Similarly in this, I wouldn't say screen for a man who can cook and clean well, I'd say, it doesn't matter if he can or not. He cannot have children and he cannot nurse them. Thus, e…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/08/26 03:04 PM
1

I mean, I'm 32, but, I've had one since I was like 20. But I understand it conflicts with your values. Yeah, meet up was never going anywhere fast.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/08/26 02:20 PM
2

I'm finally strong enough to watch Supernatural without being totally terrified all the time...this is some kind of progress.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/08/26 03:32 AM
3

Yeah, we're just warning other women, honestly. And I wouldn't think it's easy to screen for because you really can't fully know who a person is until they're on the bank roll and the ring is on. I mean you can try your best to make an educated guess and you can delay stuff a lot to try to keep out the gold diggers.... But at the end of the day it is a big step to take on someone who is essentially going to be fairly parasitically connected to you and isn't really going to fulfill the biggest pa…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/08/26 02:46 AM
29

I'm not shocked a dude wants it, I'm shocked with so much of the behavior they thought they would get it or that it was appropriate to ask for. And I was often really shocked how easily they thought it would happen. Like, you have to be nearly fucking insane to think you're gonna just bang cuz I'm here and I want to. And yet. And yet. That describes the bulk of men in most cases. Like you've been an unrepentant ass since moment one or ignored me and made me feel small and annoying or have been a…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/08/26 02:31 AM
2

Where this advice is rarely given, it's because the woman doesn't want a man at all. Even if he'd be cheaper, they don't want the baggage of a manny housewife. And, a lot of them would vastly prefer to help another woman afford her education or be employed over a live in manny housewife. And many of them intend to have very involved parents helping raise the grandchild as well. You can request whatever you want, but most women would rather be inseminated by a turkey baster than a random man they…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/08/26 07:16 PM
0

Not a feminist, Mr. Lettuce. Just an understander of the movement and all it contains. Nah, I think that's how it gets perceived by uncharitable sorts who believe feminism means gender abolition or bust. Or believe that it should mean the erasure of gender scripts rather than the expansion for the weirdos in our midst and spectrums of behavior without social shaming.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/08/26 07:03 PM
3

I'm suspicious of any one explanation here that doesn't include men being more likely to claim being single, loss of third spaces, Covid, and increased doomerism.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/08/26 06:55 PM
1

Ahhh yeah, I dunno much about Madrid. It sounds like they need a community facebook page tho cuz they are a true riot and gift. I mean wonderfully useful and hilarious. Maybe make one, be the change!!
/r/PurplePillDebate07/08/26 06:43 PM
1

Right, which look, I'm not really poo pooing your relationship. You sound happy, he sounds happy, I think that's wonderful and I genuinely wish you two every blessing and joy together in life. I'm more just saying this is a big turd in the let's just erase gender roles and all do what makes us happy anyone can be masculine or feminine works up to a certain point...and that point is pregnancy, child birth, recovery, and infant-care. I agree with the overall thesis men need to be more feminine cod…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/08/26 06:41 PM
5

Again, lots of types of feminists. I would say that type of feminism gets the most attention because it runs the media and gets the most clicks. Do I think most feminists are like that, not really. I think most feminists aren't likely to end up on a talk show because what I just said is exceedingly boring even by day time television or late night standards.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/08/26 06:36 PM
1

America, East Coast. Very small city with a lot of surrounding suburbs and rural communities. Maybe. Yeah, we have those too. But ours will be like (name of town or city) community members page. And it contains everything from drama to small business advertising to job hunting to yard sales to local events.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/08/26 06:32 PM
8

Feminism is such an umbrella term at this point and there are so many sects and philosophies contained it's often difficult to know exactly what someone means when they say they are a feminist. Like one feminist is a basic white girl feminist that basically means everyone is equal uwu and don't do bad things to women. Great. And then another feminist means practice radical lesbianism, put men in camps and throw away the key while free bleeding and growing arm pit hair. I will tell you the most a…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/08/26 04:57 PM
1

No, you don't understand. So where I live each city has a community page for all the goings on of that region. Business owners or hobby groups will post into these groups to advertise because social media is the newspaper and town cryer of our era. But the groups themselves are offline, they aren't about doing online activities. It's just a Facebook event to gather people for offline activities. It's no different than say going to your local library or coffee shop and looking at the flyers peopl…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/08/26 04:44 PM
1

I mean, face book lists a lot, but also just following local businesses and community pages gets you a lot. And then actually just going places like pubs and parks and such will get you to learn about them.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/08/26 03:25 PM
1

For me, martial arts gym. You work out consistently and form friendships and naturally this leads to hanging out outside of the gym at parties and grabbing dinner or breakfast after. People bring girlfriends who bring their friends because they want someone to hang out with, and slowly a bigger community forms and people meet each other. Beyond that, trivia nights are big, local band stuff, local sporting stuff, and different classes like a paint and sip or line dancing got big after Sabrina Car…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/08/26 02:21 PM
1

It's half a culture of penis so important and usually a mother figure who did not allow them to be truly uncomfortable and a father figure that was manipulative in exactly this way.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/08/26 02:18 PM
5

Green flag to care about others feeling safe and comfortable. Yellow flag to have it eat at you despite you not having done anything wrong. Red flag is to let it hold you back from doing anything. I think some of the generations are really fucked up in how they deal with shame. It is appropriate to feel shame over actions you took being off or hurting others and using that as a vehicle to do better. It is fucked up to have it eating at you or commenting on your entire personhood as unworthy, gro…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/08/26 01:39 PM
1

I'm far from some bio essentialist, but I'm presuming and correct me if I'm wrong that you aren't interested in having children or have already done so and they are near grown. I think for people who want children, which is a lot, maybe even most, this arrangement will fall apart because women have the babies and having a baby is extremely taxing on women's bodies during and following childbirth for years. And the baby is fairly dependent on her for years in most cases both physically and emotio…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/08/26 01:36 PM
2

I wish that had been my experience or the experience of the women around me. I really do. My experience is that the men don't call what they're doing harassment because they're nervous and they really want something to happen. And I don't exactly think threatening to kill yourself after having an obsessive crush is part of the growing up process that's just hee hee. I also question why the sexualization of minor females and overt attempts to corner them away from protective figures is so common …
/r/PurplePillDebate07/08/26 01:17 PM
1

Yeah, I wasn't keen either as someone who had been through SA. But my husband was on the other end of the fear and discomfort and he was worth it.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/08/26 01:15 PM
5

Can you read. Fucking 9 years old I wasn't attracted to anything besides Barbie Dolls and cats. Like honestly, fix your heart, dude. Get the poison out. As if I'd have to be seeking out creeps. Like they don't come to us. Like lions just wait for zebras to come over. God, it's so fucking tiresome with you people sometimes. Yeah, silly 9 year old me with my dolls chasing bad boys, by which I mean creepy old men coming over and commenting weirdly on my appearance and inviting me away from my dad t…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/08/26 04:16 AM
6

Life isn't imitating art is what they're missing. If men weren't being scary, boundary pushing, aggressive, hostile, and ignoring consent regularly starting at ages that make almost every reasonable adult want to throw up (average age most of us first experienced unwanted attention from a grown ass man is 9) true crime would feel a lot more like Lord of the Rings or Star Trek.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/08/26 03:06 AM
8

I met my husband post college and without dating apps. Most of my friends have. Offline communities still exist for people willing to look outside their comfort zone. People make time for stuff they enjoy and most people enjoy community and socializing. They also enjoy hobbies and activities.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/08/26 03:04 AM
1

I'll take the lost eye. I've always felt an eye patch would give me some much needed edge.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/08/26 01:01 AM
1

I just finished invisalign and it was awesome and I'm very pleased with the results.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/08/26 12:59 AM
1

He treats me with love, respect, reverence, affection, and cherishes me. And when he fails, he either says or shows he's sorry and makes things right. It is up to him to honor our marital vows and protect our relationship. I'm sure it helps that he married a formidable hellcat that he knows would have him somehow deported to a Gulag in Siberia if he crossed me (He's a citizen same as me, but I'D FIGURE IT OUT). We actually have a running joke about him noticing other women that actually began wi…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/08/26 12:32 AM
2

Again, I'm not even sure I'm for any of this. But if our hormones are on the table, why aren't theirs? I've done birth control. When it works it works, when it doesn't, it's awful. Less sex isn't unacceptable. It's fucking normal and the problem is men are so broken about sex they've let it stand in as a short cut for intimacy, validation, and the foundation of the relationship.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/08/26 09:45 PM
1

You're dealing with men who only have empathy for their penis.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/08/26 07:41 PM
2

Again, I have made it clear I think it's valid to a certain extent to mourn the loss of an era or even the transition times. And I think it is valid to channel things in different ways. With that said, be wise about it, right? Is this your person or isn't it? Removing all touch is pretty wild because it suggests all intimate touch was essentially foreplay and just a way to secure sex. And it sounds like something done to punish. And I'll say it, if you can't enjoy a snuggle, a massage, a kiss, a…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/08/26 06:24 PM
1

I think only very weak or hurt people do. I think it is a clear sign of damage.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/08/26 04:23 PM
3

I'm going to put this to you like this: would you be ok with your wife telling your children that despite her faithfulness, commitment, giving birth to your children, and love you wish to remain married, maintain all the other comforts of the relationship, but fuck other women because your fidelity is only real if your dick is wet. Daddy is planning to fuck whores because mommy isn't open for business currently. Especially any daughters you have. And then you have to explain to your daughter it …
/r/PurplePillDebate06/08/26 04:22 PM
5

If his only reason for marriage was sex and everything else was a lie, yes. He should. And he's a scumbag for it. But again, ladies, take note. You can fuck a man more regularly than he could ever hope to get being single his entire life. You can give him children. You can give him love, commitment, and companionship...and there are still many men who will not stand by you as you go through bodily experiences that are out of your control and tortuous because his dick isn't wet. Be careful who yo…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/08/26 03:16 PM
2

One of these is an inescapable biological feature which cannot be subdued with will power nor masturbation. Trust me, if I could flick my way out of the monthly unsexy hormonal crash I experience as a normal healthy young woman (yes, young women experience a variant of this during a monthly cycle) or use will power to suddenly make my vagina produce moisture, my cervix sit higher, and my skin be less prone to rips, and my muscles relax and stretch easier, I would use discipline to achieve this. …
/r/PurplePillDebate06/08/26 12:57 PM
3

I would say it very much depends on the media, but no, not typically. Typically both the woman and the man have very full lives and then they're combining them by the end of the tale. You're confusing desire and focus with being the center of the universe. And, frankly, the cases where this is accurate are typically for tweens, teens, and have been heavily criticized for glorifying toxic relationships. I think at best, this is a very immature view of romance and at worst toxic.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/08/26 03:36 AM
4

I feel sorry for them that they do not see value in life without women and a family without having really fallen in love with someone. Do I think I'm a big part of my husband's purpose and vice versa? Yes. But we've been together god..almost 8 years now and we're trying to start a family and just beginning to work on our home. My husband is my new dream and our family, but it's not my only one and neither is it his. He didn't come to the relationship purposeless and neither did I. And we still p…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/08/26 02:08 AM
2

Most of you start feeling horny around the age of 10-12. I wish I didn't know that, but getting a middle school cert includes being taught about puberty. Most do not have their first sexual encounter until roughly 18 with some early adopters around 15, 16, and 17. So anywhere from 3-8 years with about 6 being the most likely will pass being not sexually active. Obviously, this is the average, many have not had sex by 18. Especially ones from better environments. And, for the record, earlier sexu…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/08/26 01:58 AM
5

There is little sign that is actually true. Pregnancy is 9 months of bonkers hormones many of which would be tied to a reduced libido. The hormones involved in nursing and producing breastfeeding also lead to a crashed libido and it is not uncommon to nurse for two years at minimum before fully transitioning to solids. And this is to say nothing of the common side effects and discomfort associated. Menopause also includes a significant reduction of those same hormones tied to libido and side eff…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/08/26 01:47 AM
1

Women's libido naturally changes. Men's inability to accept that is a problem in his libido which could be solved with a suppressant. It's not an issue in women. It's normal. It is not unhealthy. Again, stop pathologizing a natural and healthy change as a problem when the problem can just as easily be said to be in men not allowing this natural dip. Great. So you're open to exploring testosterone suppressants?
/r/PurplePillDebate06/08/26 01:26 AM
3

Let's put this another way. Men taking T suppression would also fix this. But I think we can agree that would be fairly insane to fuck with a man's hormonal chemistry... But suddenly fucking with a woman's is keeping the relationship healthy. Do you see my point? Women's natural hormonal changes are pathologized as bad for the relationship while a man's hormonal make up is beyond touching. If she doesn't want sex, the sex isn't for her. She's communicating her sexual needs and having it treated …
/r/PurplePillDebate05/08/26 11:43 PM
6

Ahh yes, because telling young women their entire life that after children their body is used up and trashed really just lights the fire. Added.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/08/26 11:34 PM
6

Post partum depression treatment is unlikely to end with more sex for a man. Only a silly person would say otherwise. It involves anti depressants which are known libido killers. The idea women should want that treated so men can fuck, like, if my husband ever hinted that to me, I'd slap chop him in the dick because again, clear sign that my near psychotic break is a problem mostly because he's gotta tug the python. And estrogen therapy is often brutal and playing with things that aren't always …
/r/PurplePillDebate05/08/26 10:15 PM
6

Some of these changes aren't temporary. Hormonal changes from menopause are permanent and not often fixable. And pregnancy changes last years and often changes chemistry permanently.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/08/26 09:57 PM
12

Can we also acknowledge perimemopause, menopause, and post child body could be a big factor here and the man is drastically mishandling this like someone cut off his drug supply rather than that the partner he supposedly deeply loves and respects is basically under a hormonal siege that is fucking up way more than just their sex
/r/PurplePillDebate05/08/26 09:55 PM
5

So, I'm with you somewhat, I think you're often seeing people who have failed to connect and communicate very obviously on either side here. I will say, that it is somewhat short sighted to marry thinking sex will always be on the table and that if not it must indicate a problem in the relationship if one of the partners is a woman...and even more so if you intend to have children. Much more than men, our bodies go through drastic changes from age and/ or children. We are inconstant by nature. I…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/08/26 09:52 PM
–

I also think this attitude of "I will never accept even momentarily any kind of immature or poor behavior from my partner", like, who are you planning to date? Jesus? Everyone has their shit. The point isn't to be perfect, it's to work through imperfections together and repair together well. My husband isn't an angel. He's done some part of the stuff listed multiple times. And so have I. That's ok. That's human. By refusing it you're refusing any kind of connection. Part of the reason we're so c…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/08/26 06:43 PM
–

Well said. I also don't think these forces uncompromising even in this case. Most of this reads liek the shrieking of a toddler who wants nothing more than to be picked up and comforted, but like those things doesn't want to be corrected or taught not to be an ego-centric loud little maniac. And I'm not defending controlling, abusive, or insecure men in this. They certainly exist, but golly, the woman being described just sounds like a loud insecure bully.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/08/26 04:42 PM
–

I got tired just reading this list of humble bragging and self-aggrandizement and I'm a woman. Look, I think your title has some degree of accuracy to it. I've experienced several times the "I want a relationship" man only to be treated as a tiresome burden for wanting reasonable amounts of time, attention, consideration, and respect. But your quasi-tirade. Ick. Got nothing to do with it. Based on this, you're (or the women you're representing) are the one who doesn't want a relationship with a …
/r/PurplePillDebate05/08/26 04:38 PM
1

Go ahead and call it. I've been hit on by handsome strangers regularly. Still am. Not interested and never was. Most women are, frankly. We aren't into it. That's a guy thing, not a girl thing. I'm going to tell you something which sounds strange, but is absolutely human. Women can fantasize about this gorgeous stranger approaching them and whisking them off to forever....and also not want strange guys were it to actually happen. Both are actually quite normal thoughts to hold at the same time. …
/r/PurplePillDebate05/08/26 04:32 PM
2

We disagree then. And I'm gonna go ahead and say it, I think I know more women than you. Most of us do not want strange men we don't know talking to us. We aren't interested in cold approach. That's a guy thing. The default state of women as far as I can tell is that they do not wish to be approached by strange men they do not know. My impression is that the default state of men is they also don't really want to approach women they don't know, but, they are willing to bite the bullet because the…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/08/26 03:44 PM
0

Right, but that's the default state. I never had to initiate. Ever. No one does. Not me, not men, not women. Inaction is the default. I don't leave the default state because I'm not interested in cold approach and the potential pay off isn't good enough to make me do it. It's like saying I'm not interested in buying a lottery ticket is a cop out...no, because buying a lottery ticket is not the default state. Not buying one is. And the extremely unlikely prospect of winning the lottery is not sed…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/08/26 03:22 PM
3

My husband it's jeeps, cars in general, military surplus, tools, garden stuff, and antique weapons.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/08/26 03:16 PM
1

A cop out from what? I don't have to date, right. And I'm married so whatever I did worked for me and my husband. What responsibilities did I fail to meet? You don't have to date, dude. You too can play the indirect waiting game. Is it likely to work, maybe, maybe not. Probably not. But again, you aren't responsible to do anything. Most women do that for dudes they're interested in. They ain't interested in random strangers.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/08/26 01:39 PM
0

I don't and have never been interested in cold approach. Neither have the overwhelming majority of my friends. As for initiating with warm approach. I do. I linger in proximity to them and flirt. I hint we should hang out. I will do nothing more direct than this. If that's not signal enough for a guy to ask me out, it's not meant to be.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/08/26 01:27 PM
3

Not every guy I'm friends with is in the potential to date lane. The ones that are I flirt with with and talk to differently. Or I did. Married now so it worked. I dreaded the guys I was just friends only ever going to be friends no attraction here forming or confessing romantic feelings. This was in part because I never flirted nor talked to them as a prospect. So where were they getting the idea I'd be interested from. You're right, there is no middle ground. There's flirty friends and totally…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/08/26 01:22 PM
21

Oh if we include all the stuff that's "mine" which technically is required for both of us to enjoy the pleasures of eating or comfort...all of a sudden my husband seems like the materialistic dragon and I'm the monk since most of my stuff is cooking related and he gets to eat it.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/08/26 04:38 AM
14

You know, I thought about pointing out that my husband has a shed, a garage, and one of the largest rooms of the house dedicated to all his materials, to say nothing of them being appropriately in some of the others and that I have a kitchen and a little study for all mine.... And I won't mention that this is true of all the men I know regardless of how manly or nerdy they are. Frankly, the nerds are way worse. My mother practically needs a mercenary army to take back the house from my father's …
/r/PurplePillDebate05/08/26 04:35 AM
1

I've read most of them. So yes. You have wasted more time asking for easy mode than it would have taken to read hard mode.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/08/26 12:12 AM
1

No. Women also like men that can read more than a few paragraphs. And will do the work to understand what they claim to want to understand even when it is not easy.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/08/26 12:06 AM
1

Lemme tell you a secret homie: we go after the guys we want. We may not ask directly, but we get what we want via indirect methods. We ain't gonna become more direct and we ain't gonna approach more than we already are. If that's not working for you...well, decide how you want to work with that.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/08/26 12:05 AM
1

I said no. If someone says no to me, I let it go even if it hurts because I want them to want me. I assume men do the same. If not, they don't care for my desire and they kind of suck. Which is allowed. But now they're tormenting themselves and I'm a prop in that. Either way, not my circus or my monkeys.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/08/26 12:03 AM
1

Masculinity isn't a look exactly, it's a way of interacting with the world and often in how you make others feel. My best example of this comes from martial arts. We have what you call an enforcer. Their role is to deal with the guys who come in with a chip on their shoulder, ego problems, and bullying tendencies that are going 1000% with everyone especially and including women, children, and other novices. These are the kind of guys you can warn to bring it down a notch and they're so focused o…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/08/26 12:01 AM
2

My husband always notices my hair and praises it because we've already talked about his preferences. And he did when he was my boyfriend. Why? Cuz he knows it matters a lot to me and that being anything less than gushing would really ruin my confidence. I also gush about his hair choices and I think only one look ever was I not a fan of. (Handlebar mustache). Cuz I also know it matters to him. The only thing I can imagine with these videos is the men know their ladies love their facial hair and …
/r/PurplePillDebate05/08/26 12:01 AM
0

My husband wears shorts and sandals and he's a delight. I do slightly prefer longer pants, but by no means are shorts unattractive. I do think speedos are gross.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/08/26 11:39 PM
–

I haven't deleted anything. You've said in the past you're looking for a stay at home situation as a defense to potential divorce which is fine, it's your neurotic demon. But yeah, you've said you don't wanna pay child support. I'm just being silly to call it scumbag maxing. They had the baby, you didn't. Big difference. And they're not doing this to avoid a justice system thing. They also you know, couldn't do a lot of financial shit. Kind of changes the story. Also, they did it for the kids. Y…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/08/26 05:58 PM
0

I feel like laziness implies this sense of like, like something is a responsibility to be reasonably expected and isn't happening. And that just ain't the case on any level here.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/08/26 05:50 PM
1

No, it hasn't. Just caused women to be more aware that it isn't some unrealistic fantasy to have a guy do that I largely agree with them, but I think some of the details could absolve him. And I wonder what she's doing for him. And I don't think it's reasonable to say you should communicate this stuff. I know what my husband likes. He didn't have to tell me. I paid attention. He did too. These women are often realizing their partner doesn't pay attention to them or the details. They are figuring…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/08/26 05:20 PM
1

Spoilers
/r/PurplePillDebate01/08/26 05:15 PM
15

And many of us here on PPD are saying we would support him getting custody and starting a dad vlog channel uploading his adventures in 50/50 parenthood. Because the memes and hee hees would be extraordinary. If you think you don't wanna give some shrew your money, just wait until you have a toddler in mouse themed footie pajamas beating you awake every morning at 5am with their favorite paw patrol stuffie.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/08/26 02:36 AM
–

I mean, you ARE a deadbeat who doesn't want to pay child support, I didn't think that required a debate since you say so yourself. You admit to wanting to scumbag max. I think the left wing believes in Stay At Home parents in the same way I believe in Mermaids. I've seen one at the aquarium and I doubt there's many of them, but I'm glad if there's a few. And they're thinking about it about as hard as I did to concoct that metaphor. I think the red pill believes in them like I believe in God: don…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/08/26 01:53 AM
1

The sheep may need a shepherd, but in this case their shepherd is a wolf.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/07/26 11:50 PM
3

Curiosity, mild interest/excitement. I'm paying attention, but I'm not juicy or hot and bothered. The only thing I can compare it to is have you ever tried to befriend a stray cat? Often they purely ignore you, cold shoulder, all the body language says I'm pretending you don't exist and if you come closer I'll dart. But maybe if you're peaceful enough and make soft noises, the cat will turn and look at you and sort of give you a chance and consideration. And if this sort of dynamic goes on long …
/r/PurplePillDebate31/07/26 05:36 PM
6

That's not really what I'm saying. I think of it like music. My head is down, there's certain stuff that makes me look up and perk up with interest at the potential. And then I listen and observe, and if I keep liking the sound then I want to draw closer to the thing causing the noise and see what the commotion is. And that'd be where a dude has a chance to do other stuff to turn me on.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/07/26 05:30 PM
26

Turns on is a strong word because it doesn't quite operate like that. But, there's things that always got my attention in guys: Kindness or gentleness to the undeserving Going out of their way for relative strangers that posed no benefit to them. Being funny Being a shittalker who had the goods to back it up Being good with children and babies Cleverness Intelligence 9. Showing an interest in my stuff that has genuine curiosity Protectiveness that isn't controlling
/r/PurplePillDebate31/07/26 01:39 PM
1

I think there's a problem in that it can be hard to tell if a lot of stuff would be a problem to the right person. Like so many of my break ups were caused by me being pretty independent and wild and dating guys who were very dependent, insecure, and unflinching in being ordered. I was just dating the wrong type and so were they. The only lesson we had to learn was date a different type.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/07/26 01:35 PM
3

I think the greater problem is we just don't have enough information and they're unreliable narrators so helping them is an impossibility.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/07/26 01:31 PM
3

The only thing I'd sorta disagree with is this ruin your image thing. Most dudes don't have an image to ruin.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/07/26 01:30 PM
5

I'm actually criticizing the way they express it driving women away...which I would think most of them would care about...and I think most of them do...they just don't often know at that age how to do better. Ok? I think that's the immature view to say if you don't want to be energetically jumped and slobbered on by a barking Tasmanian devil you must not like dogs. As if those are part and parcel to being a dog. It does for most of us. That hasn't been my experience, my experience has been those…
/r/PurplePillDebate31/07/26 01:28 PM
11

I think when men are young, they are not very good at deploying their sexuality in ways young women tend to receive with enthusiasm. It's a lot like an overly excited and energetic puppy dog jumping, barking, and slobbering without regard for how the person they're seeking attention from is receiving this. And I don't think most of them do it because of evil, I think they're genuinely so excited to even be near a young woman or the possibility of sex their brain blue screens and the rest is well…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/07/26 09:21 PM
1

I'm really not sure what content I failed to respond to. This person is clearly posting their own ramblings, not a true topic to debate.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/07/26 07:46 PM
2

Loved him. He's a peach. And thank you.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/07/26 07:21 PM
1

Rock your world and get in there, sir.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/07/26 07:21 PM
1

The dips too. I mean I give an absolute standing applause to all the dips I got to eat. They fed us so much that when the normal boring American wedding food came out our entire table looked at each other with panic because we couldn't eat any more. Hope you get out, but bring the bread and dips with you!
/r/PurplePillDebate30/07/26 07:02 PM
1

It's sad still, but admittedly not AS sad. Yeah, being led around by your wiener isn't making this any better.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/07/26 07:01 PM
3

Ok, but have you ever had a perfectly fresh baguette with butter, olive tapenade, and a gooey runny egg with some fresh peaches and a balsamic drizz?
/r/PurplePillDebate30/07/26 06:59 PM
1

I wouldn't know. My only experience of the country is some friends from there getting married. And the food was a homerun. They have this cheesy bread that is to die for.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/07/26 06:58 PM
1

The state, not the country.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/07/26 06:54 PM
2

You were told by a woman you aren't liked, she's fucking someone she doesn't like, you don't know why you fuck. Y'all got one life to lead and it's just being spent in vague apathetic sexual ennui. I can only imagine what has to be broken inside both of you to get y'all to this point.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/07/26 06:53 PM
2

Me after visiting that Georgia zoo today
/r/PurplePillDebate30/07/26 06:51 PM
6

I'm sad for everyone in this story.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/07/26 06:46 PM
1

I'm not disagreeing that's likely, I'm saying, they'd only come back if the person they met up with didn't work out. And predicting who wouldn't work out is incredibly difficult. As much as who would work out. Again, I know people who have current partners from the app they met within the last year. Obviously it hasn't ended in marriage yet, but, luck. Why would some people be finding a person they can last with and others aren't. Luck.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/07/26 03:10 AM
1

An algorithm just connects folks, they're still strangers who have to talk and meet up and date. My brother would have met his wife, hmmm mathing. 2018 maybe? My friend it would have been 2023. Again, they can't control if the people actually hit it off. That's where luck enters.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/07/26 02:27 AM
0

I'm not disagreeing you can to some extent guess, dude. I'm saying it's pretty hard to control for and give someone the one or not. To go back to my example, my brother went on about 20 dates before he met his now wife. My best friend went on two before meeting her husband. There's no clear rhyme nor reason. It's luck.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/07/26 01:52 AM
–

I'm guessing it's all the penis puns this lends itself to? I've never had a problem with a boys bathroom, boy scouts, men's leagues of any kind, male sports, whatever. The armed forces. The only way I would oppose it is if it is a place somehow connected to the halls of power or promotion. And my opposition wouldn't do much, honestly. I think this is just cringe because of the thing it's about. And the penis puns. Both. If you had a man only yoga retreat that'd be cool. I support a boy's night. …
/r/PurplePillDebate30/07/26 01:37 AM
1

I don't think any algorithms could account for if two people actually hit it off or not is what I'm gesturing at.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/07/26 01:32 AM
1

Same. Maybe the did confront me. I so rarely check PMs.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/07/26 09:34 PM
1

Me stating a thought I hold which I am not truly open to being moved on is not an invitation to debate. That would imply I am open to changing my mind. I am not and thus it would not be fair to debate it to anyone else. I'm open to explaining why I think what I think. I may even be open to discussion in the sense of accepting minor additions and subtractions, but that is not in my experience what people as hungry and salivating for disagreement as yourselves would enjoy or want. Thus I again and…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/07/26 09:30 PM
1

Ok. Clearly, we disagree. I'm also not truly interested in a debate of the framework. I don't believe this framework is truly a useful one to apply to life and the problems associated with it. Thus I'm more interested on what I see as the real underlying problems. That's what I'm discussing. I'm not sure I could begin to care less about a supposed study of hypergamy.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/07/26 09:19 PM
2

Life without such choices is quite a dubious proposition in terms of positivity. Things are quite desperate if the best you can say is "I'm not dead or in a ditch". Gratitude for this is useful for emotional optimism, but not so much genuine I'm blessed. I hardly think not thinking you should have to wed or fuck for them is entitlement. I live in a place immigrants come to and I gotta tell you....nope. Frankly, most move here and ruin it and take it for granted in ways people born into it never …
/r/PurplePillDebate29/07/26 06:30 PM
4

I am not claiming they were servants. I'm claiming they could not at varying degrees freely choose their dating and romantic lives...and that it is a good thing they can now. And I find the hint that they should be thankful for what they did get because the other option was death or destitution to be....suspicious at best. Is it real gratitude if you couldn't choose anything else is a real question. Are they thankful...or is this more groveling attempts to ingratiate yourself with a system and p…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/07/26 05:02 PM
1

I know. Like, yikes. Mistrust and talking about it doesn't mean I think y'all belong in cages.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/07/26 03:31 PM
5

Have never seen churches overruling anything. They were generally part of the mechanism of control. And most often men were picking who they wanted and seeking approval...not by talking to the girl if you catch my drift.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/07/26 03:29 PM
6

Hard disagree. Entitlement is about feeling like you are owed something. The fact he manages not to have even darker feelings or to hold back from acting them doesn't change the first emotion from being entitlement...it's just a question how deep and dark that gets.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/07/26 03:11 PM
–

Damn. Does this happen instantly? My husband is about five years off 40. I can't wait. I also can't figure out why all the 40 year olds I knew when I was 20 were poor or middle class. Is this a new patch?
/r/PurplePillDebate29/07/26 02:39 PM
8

I agree men have experienced this as well, although rarely related to romance and sex. Women's sexuality and commitment was seen as property of men or their only good worth trading. Which sources would you like me to use...because all the ones I've studied suggest parental permission and feudal lords decided who women could wed...thus all the Shakespeare plays about using trickery on men to get a match your parents would not have accepted.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/07/26 02:38 PM
1

Bisexual is separate from being men or women. It's like being, I dunno a nerd or a jock. It comes with a set of characteristics and generalize behaviors. How those are carried out and exhibited will be influenced by other things like say gender. Yes, generally regardless of gender they will be more messy. How may differ, but chaos and mess will be attached. Beyond chaos and mess how someone deals with chaos and mess will be influenced by gender and how they perceive bisexuality will also be infl…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/07/26 02:34 PM
–

Half aren't failing in the more recent generations. That half stat is generally misleading. Not sure where your evidence the person who initiated the failure is the one who benefits most is coming from either. I don't think we need an alternative. We just need people not rushing into things and more preparation for marriage without cohersion to get married.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/07/26 02:29 PM
5

Both my grandmothers married from necessity....that's regularly been a thing.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/07/26 01:21 PM
1

Yes, absolutely. Men like hot and aren't as turned off by messy. So this is sensible. They always think that threesome is gonna happen. Men and women have different sexuality and risk taking tendencies. So no, you would not expect to see a woman chasing a threesome with some hot bi baddies.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/07/26 01:20 PM
9

If you wish to appeal to legal code, I don't think we'll have much to say. The historical and literary record is replete with examples of arranged marriages, forced marriages, and women being given to men as property. Following that era, the social and financial pressures forced women to marry men they were not interested in and in many cases barely tolerated simply to survive. It was really by my mother's era women had the freedom to truly choose a partner.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/07/26 12:59 PM
–

Question: are all 40 year olds rich in this fantasy you've made up? I'm pretending like it matters. Most 20 year old women aren't attracted to most 40 year olds men. When I was 20, they were considered gross and creepy in the overwhelming 99% of cases.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/07/26 12:55 PM
0

I never tried to date another woman or a bi woman, so nothing I'm about to say is special to gay or bi men: The way LGBT people have been forced to live their lives up until say the last 20 years and even persisting still tends to create what I personally would consider higher degrees of confusion, sexual degeneracy (being into comically weird shit off putting to most people, especially women), secrecy, and mistrust. Young people are already messy and stupid. Being even half gay increases the me…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/07/26 12:50 PM
14

Women also didn't have to trust because no one really cared if she trusted because she was property. I personally like the freedom I had to choose. I'm sorry if people struggle to communicate their trustworthiness to each other in a world where women don't have to do as they're told.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/07/26 12:19 PM
–

Believing people should be equal under the government is not the same as thinking people should be equally under you in cowgirl. I'm not even a progressive and I recognize this.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/07/26 12:15 PM
2

Not at all, only some kinds of disagreement would be evidence of the pathology. It would also really help if non traumatized men were to be in agreement with the red pill philosophy to a strong degree. There are almost only men drawn to it after painful experiences. Nearly exclusively. As in I haven't met the healthy among you...but it did is the problem. There isn't a leader of the red pill framework who doesn't begin from their place of trauma. And that is going to badly bias the outcome of ob…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/07/26 12:10 PM
3

Lmao. Me advocating self defense is not the same as advocating truly draconian tyranny and near enslavement of men. Nor is me advocating taking the risk suicidal men pose to their families seriously by sharing information and asking questions in order to prevent loss of life the same as basically suggesting men be placed in gimp suits. I do not believe men belong in camps and I also don't believe this indicates I don't believe they can be dangerous and should be at times treated as such. I'm all…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/07/26 11:57 AM
10

Wait...you actually want women to react to the reality of how some men have generically treated us despite not being able to instantly terminator style sense which men are safe and unsafe? I mean if you insist...ahem. I think men should rounded up into camps have their willies caged and have to wear handcuffs, feet cuffs, and a shock collar to leave their houses. They can have a cute little key around their necks that a woman can unlock if she feels safe enough. Let's advocate about this, circle…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/07/26 03:27 AM
2

That's most of the battle and I hope you find it again!!
/r/PurplePillDebate29/07/26 03:16 AM
1

I think that's gonna really depend what you're looking for.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/07/26 02:32 AM
1

They wouldn't recognize it because it is the thing they are protecting their payche from dealing with. I'm not describing what red pill is exactly. I'm describing essentially the presuppositions and framework that informs the understanding of dating. The pattern reading software. I agree truth is separate from why...I do not agree this is like economics in that sense. I understand red pillers think so. I would argue they think so because this is part of their urge towards controlling the things …
/r/PurplePillDebate29/07/26 01:29 AM
2

Mostly just introspection on what wasn't working, what caused the demise of things, lots and lots of podcasts, giving up, meeting the right person, and then working like the dickens not to repeat previous fatal errors. If you mean meeting folks: just did my thing and let fate carry me to my husband so we shared commonalities of some degree. Actually, hilariously, he's both the person I've shared the most commonalities with and the least hobbies and focused interests.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/07/26 01:16 AM
5

The personality hire has always existed.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/07/26 07:46 PM
3

I don't need to virtue signal. I'm married and I'm no one. I'm telling you why the mockery is there and why it has nothing to do with a man revealing his feelings.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/07/26 06:41 PM
1

You get to eat cheese and grapes and know you tried something.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/07/26 06:40 PM
1

Sorry, dude. That's not a real possibility. I'd say just offer it warmly to anyone sitting near you.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/07/26 06:10 PM
1

I'm married. But I wish you well!
/r/PurplePillDebate28/07/26 05:49 PM
1

I'm pretty good at reading nervous to talk to me and hiding something sneaky (goes with the territory of teaching middle school). So no, some nerves would be fine. Although if he had honey goat cheese that would help a lot.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/07/26 05:25 PM
1

Signs of homelessness or a general sense of unease in him. I mean so long as we're in a public place, I don't love pepper jack, but I'd chat a few moments and see if he's chill. Especially if he made the offer well.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/07/26 05:16 PM
1

Am I already in the park? Are they scary looking? What kind of cheese and berries?
/r/PurplePillDebate28/07/26 05:13 PM
8

I love when men present my mockery of their facade of stoicism and control as me shaming their feelings. When the feelings are in the room with us I will treat their vulnerability gently. As long as I am being asked to indulge their mask of superior control, the mockery remains and is for their own good as much as mine. They need to know the only person they're fooling is themselves.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/07/26 02:59 PM
3

Art is a buffer and offers deniability and separation and I'm already over it. It's often a way to avoid things and weirdly not be vulnerable. Also, y'all ain't Phil Collins. Most of y'all couldn't write a couplet about how you feel and what's really motivating you with any genuine degree of honesty. O.o did you just agree with me after spending all this time pretending not to agree with me that red pill is just men processing trauma while pretending to be engaged in science? I know. Thanks. Gla…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/07/26 10:53 AM
3

Vocaloid. No, they aren't. They're just less overt in their brokenness. I understand it isn't Marilyn Manson obvious, it's like Kurt Cobain obvious. No you don't because you are not stupid, sir. You realize these things are unrelated and that really none of this is about what you say. It's about your fears of a relationship souring or going badly and what that could entail. But you aren't interested in confronting those feelings. Which is why I say men don't talk about their feelings really. If …
/r/PurplePillDebate28/07/26 10:44 AM
6

Great words.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/07/26 10:37 AM
1

I'd like and subscribe.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/07/26 10:36 AM
7

Honestly, I'd tell red pill men to date an aardvark in a Hatsuna Miku cosplay if I thought they'd do it because that too would be better than the negativity spiral they're in. Ahh yes, I forgot that the science shows it is best not to have things in common with your partner. Because the entire purpose of relationships is to avoid giving leverage to anyone. It's actually exceedingly strange people think the opposite. You've turned me right around. See I thought me and my cat both enjoying a nap a…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/07/26 04:33 AM
8

Uh huh. Sure it is. That's why men spend so much time sharing their "field reports" about "female behavior" that seems to have shockingly little to do with getting laid and an enormously strange amount of listing grievances, traumas, damages, mistreatments, injustices, and sorrows. Now, I've never tried to bed a woman, but I can't say a tirade about how someone has been mistreated by women seems like a tactic I'd try. Maybe I'm just old fashioned tho, I'd probably compliment her eyes first and l…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/07/26 04:17 AM
1

Every day, I wake up and learn what a force of nature I am from PPD merely from being born a woman. I'm causing the collapse of society, all moral values, the cost of living crisis, male loneliness, a replacement rate crisis, and bad men to remain in the gene pool. All in a day's work. Feels pretty good to know I'm doing my part. But no, women did not cause the cost of living crisis. Wealthy elite types playing chutes and ladders with the economy and global political stage did. Prices would not …
/r/PurplePillDebate28/07/26 04:06 AM
3

Eh, it's not necessarily true they're making it that way. Bad luck is entirely possible. My brother found his wife there and my BFF met her husband. But my other BFF has gone through the jungles of dating apps and just seems genuinely cursed despite looking for her husband and being pretty reasonable as far as I've ever seen. I think people don't account for bad luck enough with online dating. Knowing how to use it won't fix fate being a bit of a damn sweet time taker.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/07/26 03:56 AM
3

It is true. We attend almost anything involving a good cheese plate. Especially if there's fruit too and perhaps some adorable little crackers? I mean, I've attended some extremely boring work affairs, but if the cheese plate was good, I endured. Why not a picnic in the park? Especially if there was a whimsical blanket to sit on!?
/r/PurplePillDebate28/07/26 03:52 AM
13

I feel like the point of the red pill is for men to deal with their traumas and emotions without having to say effeminate things like "working through trauma" or "dealing with my emotions" or using the f word (feelings). Instead they turn those things into a conspiracy theory that they must "think their way through" using facts, logic, statistics, analysis, science, and philosophy. You know. Traditionally masculine things which women don't really do because they don't match their shoes very well…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/07/26 02:45 AM
4

They were in the past, dude. Women having choice over pregnancy is a relatively novel idea caused by science more than some actual change in our biology. And no, I won't cease the comparison because the comparison is about being biologically suited to something. Not a political autonomy. If you wish to go there, men too have choice. They just cannot remain a member in good standing with that nation if they don't fight.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/07/26 12:40 PM
4

Both.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/07/26 12:37 PM
6

To be fair to them, they do advocate for this inclusion. Frankly to a frustrating point to anyone that actually believes in biological realities like men being physically more suited for certain gigs by not a small mile. War and child birth are those weird areas where you can't really shake the fact each gender is significantly the correct answer to the problem. Men can't have the babies so life is already stacked in their favor pretty significantly. Women can technically fight in war, but we're…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/07/26 04:36 AM
9

I think there's an accuracy here to some extent and I think a lot of the pain we see on this front is coming from bad or absent parents, a lack of mentor figures, and a lack of platonic love between men and a refusal to bask in platonic love from women if erotic love is unavailable. But, I also think a lot of people jump from being loved for mere existence to confusion and outrage and not being selected for erotic or romantic companionship. And the problem is that both include a survival and att…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/07/26 04:31 AM
2

Agreed. And frankly, we're even more obnoxiously in love when we're alone.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/07/26 04:21 AM
–

I'm sure you have and I'm so sorry that happened to you. It wasn't a few for us. I've gone through around 98% of this list most with different guys, most multiple times. It's not a few weird uncomfortable moments. Frankly, it's more like a few comfortable moments honestly. It's weirder to be comfortable around men who want sex with you than the opposite because a significant amount of them do this shit. I'm sorry you think this not happening is an ideal world or fantasy or soap box. Again, kinda…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/07/26 12:09 AM
4

I thought you might say that. Why are you saying this? Is it because you feel it to deeply be true and know it will please her to hear it and finally the time has arrived you can say it? Not an example of telling her what she wants to hear when I say it like that is it. Because you want to say it. You've wanted to say it. Now you can. Lovely. Her enjoying it is secondary to speaking the truth. Or are you saying it because you know she wants to hear it and you want to fuck her and this is a step …
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/26 11:43 PM
–

They would not say she didn't want sex with them when they tell events. They would say she had to be seduced, persuaded, set at ease, or any other number of weird rephrasings of "I pressured her". And then with the forgotten from the record part. She said yes, so she was always open to it so I didn't pressure her, she could have said no, etc. So well known is this that Always Sunny has a fabulous scene on it. But again, here you are saying the no must be emphatic, a common tactic to apologize fo…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/26 11:31 PM
3

I'll put it back to you: give me an example in which you could do this and it would not be a lie.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/26 11:25 PM
9

My husband was paying for me when we were just friends hanging out and I had to all but beg him to let me buy him dinner one time and the whole time he looked like how I imagine most men look if you asked to chop their dick off. I was baking so much bread to say thank you that it honestly would have been easier for him to let me buy. During dating, absolutely not. Our arrangement became that he bought meals when we were out and I paid for and cooked meals for us once or twice a week at home and …
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/26 11:09 PM
8

If someone is approaching relationships with a fuck you, bitch, pay me attitude...I can only assume they are not seeking anything long term...or healthy. Now, if your advice to men is to look for some kind of reciprocated affection then I whole heartedly agree. But if this is just bean counting dollars and cents...well, as your therapist, are you sure you want a relationship at all? Like seriously, it's allowed to not be cut out for this whole love thing.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/26 11:06 PM
–

It's complicated. I think those stats accurately reflected my experience of men. Clearly, not every man is doing all of those things or even any of those things. But most men have a script and mindset at the start (we're talking say starting at maybe 15 to 16) that you kind of need to trick or pressure women into bed and so long as they eventually say yes, everything before that is forgotten from the record. Now, many grow out of this, largely, I expect because women receive them so poorly for t…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/26 10:27 PM
1

I don't think this is all men. I'm married to a man that never did any of this. If I thought men couldn't be different, I wouldn't criticize it the same. I think the fact you're mentioning men who don't even ask women out actually bolsters the case. Why don't they beyond personal demons? Because the only script they know is the one they know makes women uncomfortable and treats them like someone to be tricked and they don't wanna do that. The other is fearing her saying no so they don't take the…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/26 10:14 PM
1

Maybe because we say stuff like this rather than showing there is hope to get over it.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/26 10:04 PM
2

You're talking about a con artist. Talk about the average dating experience.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/26 09:00 PM
5

I think this is wishful thinking from someone who has never been "courted" by men. There is no scenario I would imagine that is acceptable which would make me answer yes to almost any of these in the context of sex already being something this person was not interested in.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/26 08:58 PM
2

I don't disagree with your philosophy entirely, but, it could be years of friendship then something sparked and that person doesn't have good discipline over their feelings and wants.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/26 08:56 PM
3

They're schrodingers types. They both bring up the siren call of pussy as a force which shapes the universe and then despise when women suggests this makes them bullshit artists and users. So they bring up like money. Like most of us are out here method acting to get that free Chinese Buffet or cup of coffee.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/26 06:05 PM
1

It doesn't go both ways that much because most of you don't really have anything of value especially when young. Most of us ain't using a man for that Applebee's dinner or a drink. Juice wouldn't be worth the squeeze. I agree watch who a woman is at the beginning, but, women ain't putting on a front near so much as men because there's really no reason to. What do y'all have we really want like men want sex? And again, most men. Don't pretend you're all Elon Musk and Timothee Chalemet together. Y…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/26 06:02 PM
2

It sounds like you're inventing interpretations of the author methodology in order to pretend men ain't doing manipulative shit. Which I get, but is outlandish. I find repeatedly asked for sex to be pretty clear. You asking her to come over on different days when you're dating is not nearly the same and we all know it. She kept seeing you, which indicates interest. I think you're at the heart of this so let me make it clear: that behavior is not benign. Men see it as benign because of their agen…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/26 05:55 PM
4

Where would you put this in the survey of actions, cuz I ain't seeing it. But maybe I missed it. I don't think many of the guys are thinking "i massaged a knot out of the neck of my girlfriend and then her mood shifted". It doesn't make any sense that they are thinking this. What you did was loving and not with the intent to get sex unless I'm misunderstanding you. And again, pre established relationship. This didn't seem to be about pre established relationships.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/26 05:46 PM
4

He made it seem like they were friends and then feelings happened.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/26 05:26 PM
2

Sure, that could be.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/26 05:26 PM
0

I've had both of these happen. More of these than the others, honestly. And I've had lots of dudes catch feelings for me. Turns out, when both people value the friendship a lot is possible that seems unusual to people who don't strongly value the friendship.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/26 05:26 PM
4

You guys are in a pre existing relationship, very different than anything being discussed. And this example is very different than anything being discussed.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/26 05:24 PM
0

What about option D: He gracefully accepts the rejection, takes some time to let the feelings fade, and then you go on to be bestest buddies. Or even option E: there is some mutual feelings, but you both agree it's not a good idea to pursue anything and then after some time go on to be bestest buddies.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/26 05:06 PM
3

Simped for the wrong girl. I've done it for the wrong man too. Lmao. OK. So your made up bullshit. It ain't over compensating if it's real genuine glee at each other.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/26 05:04 PM
2

Cool. You coerced women into relationships with you. Call it what it is at least. You can't get a woman to freely consent to you. And I'm imagining that coercion has played a role in the ending of things in these relationships. Wrong is wrong. You saying touch grass because your coercion worked is nonsense. No one says lying doesn't work. It's wrong is the point.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/26 04:31 PM
2

Simping is a stepping stone to love. They're typically difficult to distinguish outside of longevity and commitment. Says whom? At worst it annoys others.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/26 04:29 PM
6

If you're talking to them with the goal to manipulate no into yes, you are doing something gross and inappropriate. This game you're playing where you basically suggest all behavior is above board because they never said get lost even though you know that would be rude and inappropriate for them to do is ridiculous and you do know that. But, if men wish to insist on this line of reasoning, women can become that cruel and obnoxious as a baseline. If that's the only way to avoid manipulative sex p…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/26 04:28 PM
3

You said it so well. No one makes my face shine like my husband and vice versa. And keeping me that way keeps him shining and vice versa.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/26 04:04 PM
3

And yet they have not is what I'm saying. It isn't ridiculous at all. People who loudly love their person are not ridiculous.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/26 04:03 PM
8

You need to finish your sentence "for the express purpose of manipulating someone to have sex with you". Stop acting like this is just an attempt to be socially accepted or even desired. This is about being manipulative.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/26 04:02 PM
3

Sure, but never after I expressly expressed that I did not want their help and never to manipulate me into doing something for their benefit.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/26 03:43 PM
6

You said people would make fun of ladies for admitting they simp for their man. I'm saying they don't. It's a mutual thing.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/26 01:19 PM
7

This can happen to anyone, but I will say, if a man shows no interest in nor indication of generosity. care giving, providing, or looking after when you're just dating and especially if nothing sexual has happened...lady, why would you think getting pregnant is gonna change that. When you're dating and haven't given sex at all, that's his best self, friends. You are seeing who he thinks his best self is. If his best self is a 50/50, never opens the door for you, totally transactional, I just wan…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/26 12:32 PM
22

O.o I shouldn't be surprised, but everything under 2 is coercive and unacceptable. It's not ambiguous or flirting. And 1 is very clearly indicating lying. A significant amount of 3 is coercion, what the fuck. Almost none of that is acceptable with the exception of focusing on a stranger. .< this isn't making men look better that you think a lot of this is just flirting or proving status. No wonder y'all never understand how many bad men there are. If a man is trying to isolate me and won't stop …
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/26 12:22 PM
–

Not a problem. Won't change. Could change.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/26 12:14 PM
5

There's no problem happening. These people deserve each other. And I say I'm obsessed with my partner in front of anyone. I don't get roasted. You need to find better circles cuz it sounds like you're surrounded by weak and nasty people.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/26 12:14 PM
1

Most of standing up is verbal, not physical. It's saying something is wrong. Most evil people are cowards, very few are any more physically capable than the weaklings. Just expressing something is unacceptable would be plenty. I know, I'm a woman and stand up for folks regularly.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/26 09:56 PM
7

Proximity is the greatest predictor of relationships. He was in proximity more. He worked to be and was welcomed to be. So yes, sort of. To be fair, it seems likely if she was accepting this behavior she fancied him more.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/26 08:01 PM
1

They're unsafe for others by fostering an environment where they'd rather shrink from or ignore the bad behavior of their peers than stand up.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/26 07:57 PM
1

Puts the room in proper order, I suppose. Bad men should feel unsafe and men who are weak and would cover for bad me should feel unsafe. It allows the women to all feel safe.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/26 05:39 PM
2

I'm not sure if you entirely get the premise of the quote. The idea is everyone should be able to defend what is important and right even if they then spend their time in gardens. Because it is better to be a warrior in a garden than a gardener in a war. I understand many many people regardless of gender are tired of feeling like the ability to have warrior qualities are too heavily prioritized, but it's generically because if you don't have warrior qualities your other qualities are too easily …
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/26 03:45 AM
1

I have, respectfully. And it's extremely pleasant to be around.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/26 01:58 AM
1

Good men would feel fine. The other kind wouldn't. We want the other kind feeling unsafe. We don't need generic terror in the heart of all men.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/26 01:47 AM
1

Nah, it can be a quiet power over the room and that is very clearly wielded by those who are unkind or outright immoral.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/26 01:34 AM
3

I do not equate this with being aggressive nor violent to be clear. Warrior in a garden.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/07/26 11:02 PM
3

We like it if other men feel unsafe. Not other women.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/07/26 08:36 PM
5

I see no benefit and never have. I have no interest in strange men which eliminates cold approach entirely. As for men I sort of know, I make my interests pretty clear, but I'm not interested a man that cannot nut up and ask me out himself. And I've dated the autistic dweebiest of dweebs. They managed to have courage for one moment in their lives to ask me out. This eliminates me warm approaching. I need not mention safety nor anything else as valid as that may be. It simply does not align with …
/r/PurplePillDebate24/07/26 03:19 PM
1

Isn't it nice when all of us can come together and agree someone is nuts? What if your husband tells you to befriend a woman, pet, child, and him?
/r/PurplePillDebate24/07/26 04:01 AM
0

I'm gonna speak in video games because: I don't tell the healer they should be taking point cuz it's not what they're built for nor is it likely to yield the outcomes they want. I also don't ask a dps why they ain't healing or a tank to do more damage. Both of these roles bring something EQUALLY valuable to the team and outcome. But I like winning. Is it fun sometimes to be a jerk off and play a healer like a DPS? Sure. But I wouldn't recommend it because I know that's not how the game is best p…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/07/26 03:33 AM
2

For sure, I'm just saying I'd defend those women too as not necessarily vapid. They're just feminine and interested in traditionally girly shit.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/26 07:39 PM
15

Just to be fair, I have a master's degree, purple belt in Brazilian Jiu Jitsu, and have engaged in two highly successful careers, read a multitude of books including most of the English Language Greats, can play an instrument, am an excellent cook complimented by proper chefs, and have many other hobbies. And I enjoy some reality television shows and many with my husband as well...I despise the attitude that enjoying reality television is frivolous bullshit for basic bitches lacking in depth. Th…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/26 04:18 PM
15

Humor us and mention um.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/26 03:58 PM
11

No, I mean they think that's what men mean. Put more bluntly, when I hear a man say this...he usually means she's not interested in his highly specific quasi autistic ramblings on a niche subject.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/26 03:57 PM
29

No, it's what we think of when a man complains women don't wanna have deep conversations. 😅
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/26 02:45 PM
16

Info: give me examples of what you consider to be a deep conversation and what you consider to be very basic.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/26 02:43 PM
5

They don't say anything. And people usually say something when they see something as praiseworthy. See, the man doing this stuff. Again, men have a lower threshold to be considered good parents. And look, like I'm so far past this even being a problem I'd tackle, but when we can't even admit this, like, then I do wanna fight about it. I've seen men on this very forum giving themselves flowers for being better at holidays and cleaning than the women they divorced. And then you ask a few questions…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/26 04:53 AM
5

I'm sorry, I just don't agree. People act like dads are saints for doing basic parent shit. A dad comes to get his kid sick from school and everyone is wowed. A dad takes his kid to something important to the kid, like say a batting cage if the kid likes baseball, and everyone's jaw drops how thoughtful he is. This isn't about being a terrible parent. Again, the standard to be good is lower for men.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/26 04:28 AM
1

Mothers are humans. They can be disappointing. Animals never disappoint.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/26 03:49 AM
4

I've never seen a woman praised as a great mom just for watching her kids. Maybe this happens somewhere else, but I'm calling bullshit on that. Also, the nice guy thing makes me think you're not understanding the flavor here. A nice guy isn't that exceptional. When we say a woman is nice, it's usually being said about like, nearly Mother Theresa. Someone that remembers every birthday, every minor life event, drives people to appointments, goes out of their way to help people they hardly know. Wh…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/26 03:22 AM
1

Doubt it. Firefly would still be with us. Like I said originally, y'all have dogs and mothers that love you. It's not in my nature to make dogs weep.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/26 03:08 AM
2

Don't sell yourself short, dude. You deserve to do something few humans have ever done by seeing space first. If you can't see the cosmos and go where no one has gone before, you're better off alive. It sucks, I know, but hold yourself to a higher standard, your therapist knows best. Center of the sun or living here on earth.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/26 01:04 AM
4

Venting? I'm talking about men hiring sugar babies. If complaining got you to the sun I'd already be there. Or, hypothetically, I am using "hyperbole". A word which here means extreme language for dramatic effect.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/26 08:04 PM
4

It would take as long to explain that as to explain why sugar babies also need to be launched. But again, betterment of the social fabric and moral fiber.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/26 08:01 PM
4

Well, what do you wish their origin story was? Kidnapped by the cartel? I think you get my point about attractiveness. They see this as a portal to getting a tall hot rich man who is very clear about why they're together and doesn't want a real connection. He wants a hot woman that can be bought and presented without the moral hang up of prostitution. Don't call it a threat, call it wishful thinking.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/26 07:59 PM
17

How dare hookers develop standards! What is the world coming to?! Won't someone think of the ugly rich men.... Look, my vague understanding of sugar dating is that these women don't really want to be prostitutes as such. If they did, they'd just do that, right? They want a relationship which has pretty explicit expectations about the exchange of money for attention (sexual not definite). And the more that various you tubers have normalized this and typically described the guys as "cute", the mor…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/26 06:57 PM
1

Potentially dangerous. Way different. It's not always dangerous to interact with stray dogs or cats either, but I'm still wary when I do and it is a part of the cost of being a moron for stray animals. Cuz for every time it is safe there's a time it wasn't. Compare that to the male experience of basically interacting with domesticated dogs and cats and you're getting an idea of the dating difference.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/26 05:58 PM
0

Cold approach is not what is meant by asking someone out. As I constantly tell people here, this is uncommon across time and space including current day. Proximity is the greatest predictor of connection. Warm approach is far and away the most common method of interactions that lead to dating.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/26 03:30 PM
1

I mean, someone you'd count on, someone you enjoy talking to regardless of romance, someone you share interests with, someone you know decently well. I'd think one on one is more bff terrain or everyone else has left the call and you're both still going. Group settings obviously. It's gonna look different ways to different people obviously. I guess here's the test. If you were with a friend who didn't know this girl and you ran into her at say the grocery store with that friend and she came up t…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/07/26 11:47 PM
–

Increased neuroticism and increased vulnerability to danger. Some also just love the drama it allows to unfold
/r/PurplePillDebate21/07/26 11:35 PM
–

Welcome to your report, dude.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/07/26 04:35 PM
–

I'm a married woman, dude. I think calling it priest maxxing is funny? Cuz it is. What tools? I'm explaining what I see as explaining why there seemed to be more attractive men in the past...cuz the unattractive ones were more likely to be dead or priests.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/07/26 04:29 PM
1

As a teacher, we are witnessing the same degree of learned helplessness in our students every single day. To the point we're starting to teach problem solving skills like you would not believe. It's lack of fathers, it's a school system where you cannot fail, and mothers that don't let go because that's their man. They're victims walking in certain ways. Of course, they need to grab life by the balls, but they're taught this way.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/07/26 04:27 PM
–

I mean in the past: Homosexuality Neurotypicality (Would have been more likely to priest max and this would have yielded a respected and important position in society celebrating chastity). War kills all types obviously, but if what we understand about looks holds any accuracy, it seems more likely better looking men would be in leadership positions rendering them mildly safer. Poverty was also more of a death sentence and obviously health and attractiveness have always been linked. Low morality…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/07/26 04:13 PM
1

E girls? But animated? I dunno. It's stupid, but lots of things are that I'm still fine with existing. I think my only problem would be if boys are watching. But grown ass men, do as ye will.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/07/26 01:51 PM
1

Observation of traits and actions. Any trait or action deployed at the right place, at the right time, in the right way is virtue. The opposite is vice. In the case of men's rights. I would say it is vice to endure injustice quietly.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/07/26 01:49 PM
–

Men who today struggle with attracting a woman for a whole variety of reasons.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/07/26 01:47 PM
6

Cemented makes it sound like you had a hunch. I'm mostly trying to understand to what degree it was reasonable for her to think it was going that direction. It's never truly reasonable for a dude to think an entirely platonic relationship may end in romance if enough nice behavior from him occurs. It is reasonable if dating to think a man introducing you round to his family and close friends is growing in commitment and headed towards marriage. Whether you personally see those actions as such or…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/07/26 02:50 AM
2

Yes. Multiple times. My husband and I dating for the first few years was like watching stray cats learn to trust a human again.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/07/26 02:43 AM
7

My only question: did she know you intended to never marry?
/r/PurplePillDebate21/07/26 02:21 AM
1

Every relationship I have ever seen? It may make more sense until you account for how much men seem to hate shopping. They find it emotionally taxing to the nines. Don't ask me to explain it. I'm just living with it and every woman I know and have ever known is. My grandfather ran a fucking grocery store and his wife still had to shop for everything. Doubtful. 35k is a livable wage especially if she's willing to go live with parents or shack up with someone else which most of us are and wouldn't…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/07/26 07:23 PM
3

I am the main cook. Cleaning products well, his family were hoarders so god knows when we'll have to buy those. I have more clorox wipes than I know what to do with 🤣 But, no, usually if the person who does that task isn't the shopper, they tell the shopper to get it. Different skills. My husband is the wearer of his clothing and I still buy them and then return it if he hates it. Not being mean...but are you relationshipped and dividing tasks? Cuz it's pretty rare not to have a main shopper and…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/07/26 06:46 PM
5

I think women are very durable to certain things and men to others. And a thing men endure better than women is unfairness perceived or not even real. Men do better to things that typically trigger neurosis.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/07/26 05:48 PM
4

I think it's just leadership style actually. They follow one big leader. Watch a room of women, sure there's some queen bees, but it's a much more communal process in which everyone is heard and all problems are sort of taken into account and seen as equally deserving of solution. Again, infant care. You can't tell an infant to endure. You naturally become more likely to solve even the most petty or specific of problems. And I'm not saying men's problems are for the record. But if you think a po…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/07/26 04:54 PM
15

I don't think it's an accident the biggest men's rights activists have in many cases been women. Men are extremely talented maintainers of status quo. (Which for the record is good when that's a good place. No one maintains paradise like my husband. I'm the idiot seeing flaws, potential, problems, and wondering if our bathroom would be better if it had some sort of waterfall water feature with pond lillies - it would). We're also better at organizing and coordinating in terms of teamwork. You ha…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/07/26 03:43 PM
–

My first thought for hook up was 2 billion dollars in cash in a suitcase for me. And he has to be easy on the eyes. For relationship: my husband.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/07/26 01:47 PM
–

I'm in my 30s. I'm not infantalizing anyone. I'm aware I know a lot less about spotting bullshitters and predators than someone nearing 50. And a 20 year old knows less than me. Paying bills got nothing to do with it. That's your focus because you're weirdly refusing to expand beyond mundane adult responsibilities. I know quite a bit. My husband has done it and somehow managed to date during that time. I was raising my kid brother so I know my own story about how family responsibilities can impa…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/07/26 01:38 PM
–

There is evidence of men like yourself continuing to create themselves, yes. Those men still outrank those women in life experience, a point you continue to ignore in favor of focusing on dating/sexual experience rather than a holistic view. That has always been a controversial age difference outside of say the Regency era. No, it isn't and I think you need to admit you don't know based on your zero experience, don't you. Life experience is the far more relevant element to avoiding predatory dyn…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/07/26 01:02 PM
6

The majority of house hold spending is on groceries, household items, clothing, etc. Traditionally the woman is spending this because well...I'm not actually sure. My husband hates shopping so I can only guess most husbands hate these tasks. I don't mind so much so I do it. Most of the bills are also the companies I chose due to cheapness or some other factor. I also run our Roth IRAs and decide how much is invested each week. In turn, one could probably suggest I do 85% of our financial decisio…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/07/26 12:22 PM
1

It does not strike me as reasonable to compare a (with love and sympathy) outlandish and unusual case like yourself, a man who has both knowingly and unknowingly sabatoged your life at nearly every conceivable level with that of developmentally normal women. You may just as well summon up the scenario of a cult victim or kidnapee to somehow outline women not thinking of power imbalances. Like yeah, no shit we don't consider this power imbalance, it's extremely rare and self-inflicted. After a ce…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/07/26 12:10 PM
1

Dude, I think you're playing a lot of seeming word games to avoid the judgement I am putting in. Lots of women are fine dating men who are abusive or physically violent. They do it all the time and don't make a moral judgement. I'm making a moral judgement. I'm making a moral judgement with all of these. It's not eye color to me. It's not like eh...hope he likes cats. These things MAKE them bad or good. No one who is lazy or unhelpful is good for someone else. They aren't a good fit for anyone. …
/r/PurplePillDebate19/07/26 09:09 PM
-1

I technically talked to him first is the thing. I asked him to walk me to my car. I wasn't hitting on him or anything. I just knew he was a good dude by reputation and didn't trust the area.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/07/26 07:19 PM
–

I do and could do all these things at the age of 18 when I began to date. Strangely, men mostly wanted me for sex which continued arguably until their mid 20s. And yes, it filled me and fills me with contempt. All the women I know for the record could do these things. They aren't difficult. Servile things really. Go fish! Men just wanting sex is in them and it's trashy.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/07/26 01:20 PM
–

I'll tell you the reason in 95% of cases. Ready: They aren't ready yet. Having kids and family is the end of freedom, pure individuality, pure adventure, and youth. And they don't wanna give that up. Careers just support the ability to live life on your own terms. Kids and families not so much. They don't need a mirror. They know the reason. You disagree with this reasoning is all...interestingly while coming from the gender which does not gestate, die, and raise the babies nor often get trapped…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/07/26 01:18 PM
0

It did not. No one really made moves in our case. It was that organic.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/07/26 01:11 PM
1

Yeah, and I'm telling you that is happening. There are better and worse people when it comes to everything including relationships. It isn't "my preference" a man not beat me or abuse me or talk badly about me or be lazy and not help. Those are standards and failure to meet them makes you bad. It isn't my preference they be a hot piece of ass. Failure to meet this makes them a bad choice for romance and sex because that's a standard. A preference is like having brown eyes.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/07/26 01:10 PM
4

I do not disagree...but, also, how else will they grow up if that's mentally and communicatively where they are at unless someone talks to them like their development is arrested in Middle school (which it is for a lot of them).
/r/PurplePillDebate19/07/26 03:48 AM
2

I think you're assuming everyone has standards for entry and I'm here to tell you...most don't or those standards are so low you know, most people aren't doing anything to meet them beside get out of bed in the morning. I think you see this dynamic play out a lot with folks who go "you're unworthy bye bye" and people that are like "no wait, stay pls, why you no give attention". And I think, although you seem to not have really defined these terms well, you are against people looking at others as…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/07/26 03:01 AM
0

You're assuming he chased me. It was more oddly organic and back and forth than that. We were just in proximity a lot and hung out a lot. It was just mutual magnetic pull.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/07/26 02:57 AM
1

Not sure about that, but maybe
/r/PurplePillDebate19/07/26 12:51 AM
3

Yes and no? I think there were fewer undesirable men because they were dead quick, monastery maxing, or excommunicated. I also think the flipside of some of what is good in progressive values is lending itself to disagreeable boys never being forced to grow up and knock their baby bullshit off. But clearly as a macro, men aren't as often selling women like cattle into marriage or forcing themselves on a random peasant girl and many relatively speaking see women as equals and friends as much as s…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/07/26 11:58 PM
8

Couldn't it be said I am the arbiter of my own skull sized kingdom of what is and isn't good aka a standard? I am the authority of my reality. If you wish to partake in my reality, you meet the standards?
/r/PurplePillDebate18/07/26 11:55 PM
6

I also wouldn't mind if nothing ever started helps. If you asked me, I thought it was gonna be a Jo March type living for the adventure of life. The fact I found my husband and that plan altered somewhat is as surprising to me as anyone. 😅 I recommend an "if it happens it happens" attitude to everyone for basically everything except owning a cat. Make sure the cat happens.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/07/26 11:50 PM
7

I don't lie and I don't accept lying. If I don't wish to answer, I make that plain and accept the same. And if the other person does not accept this we are not meant to connect either platonically nor romantically. If those things matter to you, that's acceptable. Find someone who it also matters to.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/07/26 05:40 PM
1

Ok. I'm fine with that too.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/07/26 05:34 PM
1

This is highly context dependent and no, none of this will ever imply our statements are not of lasting value, mood based, emotional, or caused by the man controlling her emotional state. The only situation I've ever seen no turn to yes in would be when a man barely knows a woman, asks her out, and she says no. However, they persist in being in the same social circles, get to know each other much better, she learns she fancies the man she has come to know, starts flirting, and then he asks her o…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/07/26 01:52 PM
3

Not a response to anything I said. Thank goodness my response reaches beyond you, huh?!
/r/PurplePillDebate18/07/26 01:45 PM
3

I couldn't really say. I mean, the shy awkward type is already a type. I can't say I particularly had a type within that type exactly. I guess I didn't try shy awkward loners that don't play video games and aren't nerds....but I've also never met a shy awkward type that wasn't somewhere on the geek to nerd spectrum. If your hobby is carpentry or something, the forced interactions with Home Depot alone cure you of shyness.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/07/26 01:44 PM
13

It feels weird to do, but I am a middle school teacher, so, I often explain things which are obvious to adults in kid friendly ways.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/07/26 01:41 PM
35

So long as you don't conflate this with women never being interested in men, I'm with you. A strange man who is beautiful is like a painting. I think "oh pretty, that's really cool" and then I keep walking. There is nothing in my brain that says "go talk to him" because he almost isn't real in that way. But a man I know who is attractive, my brain tends to wonder about kissing him because he's real. It's kind of similar to like a stick of gum. If a random guy offered me that, the answer is no th…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/07/26 03:54 AM
4

No, but I wouldn't think it was abusive. I'd just break up. Not caring isn't abusive, it's just selfish or aloof or ignorant.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/07/26 07:18 PM
11

I'm gonna say it: both my brothers are shy and awkward and one is married the other is pretty young and still dating. It's pretty rare if your only problem is shy and awkward you can't find someone. They plucked up the courage and both managed.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/07/26 06:26 PM
8

Critiquing Taylor Swift as a character is fine. It's always fine if it's a character. The question is why are you critiquing real people who you really know? What's the goal? What's the benefit? What is being achieved? Cuz I've never seen anyone say this that wasn't a snide mean little devil being shitty to a hurt person because they're relishing in their pain and demise...so...never is my answer and that's being a bad person? But if you can present to me a case where it is not that and it is ac…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/07/26 06:19 PM
3

O_O It sounds like you've had some wife or girlfriend situation, huh? I've never thought my man not asking me about my day was emotional abuse. At most, if it was consistent, I'd think he didn't give a shit.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/07/26 06:16 PM
–

Yeah, I believe you. I know more about most of my male friends than anyone else in their life and there's no sex involved. I can only imagine the shit underneath the shit I know. It's wild. Like, let it out fellas. It can't stay in. And if the person you tell doesn't take it how you pictured, doesn't mean stop talking.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/07/26 06:14 PM
2

You have misunderstood me even then and that's ok. I'm gonna be honest, I found you deranged so I went looking and you've suffered childhood sexual assault. I will reply no longer. You too are in deep and agonizing pain and you've come to lash out at the men here just the same because you are hurt. I hope you get the peace and help you need, but I know you cannot hear me. And I will not continue to feed your rage spiral. I will tell you that if you don't want to talk, a great way is to stop. You…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/07/26 05:11 PM
2

Damn. That's horrid. I'm so sorry for him and you and what he did to you and what was done to him. But yeah, look, I can be irritated or upset with men all day too. But this is clearly extreme pain they're in. This isn't like someone overreacting to being called a slur. This is like, no one talks like this that isn't experiencing a pretty consistent pain or extreme trauma.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/07/26 05:07 PM
9

I'm sorry we've dated the sameish man and for sort of the same reasons (I didn't have alcoholism, but, being religiously indoctrinated and sexually assaulted creates more or less the same result). Yeah, they all reached out at some point to remind me of their existence. The last one I'd just gotten married so when I told him so I think that ended him ever bothering me again. But yeah, this rehab scheme for awkward men just isn't real. It's their fantasy, but it isn't real.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/07/26 05:04 PM
12

Oh sir madam, I'm stupid. I did this relationship 4 times. Please do not assume me to be someone who learns my lessons easily. I took if you're gonna be dumb you better be tough as a mission statement in dating. I've witnessed it happening at least 20 more.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/07/26 05:01 PM
12

None of these men were crazy incel deep end types. I wish they were. These were mildly awkward guys. Rehabilitation is not viable through the scenario you are suggesting.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/07/26 05:00 PM
1

My original words: I'm not pretending I'm unique I never said I was unique. Look at the receipt. You misread. I said it because I am not. This is a pretty universal human experience. I'm sorry you're clearly hung up on a need to be something. Read better or say sorry better. I'm glad I amuse you. Although, I doubt I really do. I think you're insecure and triggered hoping to get the last word. Good luck with that.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/07/26 04:59 PM
1

I'd apologize for being educated and well-written...but I'm not sorry and I did not minimize it. And you know it. You're just embarassed because you know you misread and didn't speak in good faith. Just say sorry, I got it wrong. It's way easier than trying to insult me for being skilled with language and ideas.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/07/26 03:48 PM
41

Having been that angelic girl...nope. nein. Neit. Let me tell you what really happens. They become cripplingly insecure about losing you and their relative unworthiness. 2. They resent you for your perceived angelic superiority and their inferiority. 3. They grow in their controlling behavior. They become borderline emotionally abusive in terms of their consistent degradation, attacks, verbal cruelty, insults, and finding fault. Everything is about making sure you're beneath them and that you kn…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/07/26 03:44 PM
2

You don't wish to speak, I'm agreeing you are not useful to speak to due to a projecting, assuming, inability to read, and lack of emotional intelligence. Clearly, you have some trauma here around people saying that line. I'm sorry you haven't resolved it and let it destroy conversations. I was suggesting almost everyone has experienced people making them feel unattractive in a consistent way. That's what I'm not unique meant. I was suggesting this is not about seeking pity, but rather explainin…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/07/26 03:36 PM
2

I think everyone experiences and probably most of us have done it to someone else. And the thing you're supposed to learn is to not do it.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/07/26 03:15 PM
2

Reading comprehension not your thing either. I said I was not unique. Let's do better, sweetie on all the fronts.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/07/26 03:09 PM
1

Your replies come off as emotionally incompetent so it is probably best we do not speak.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/07/26 03:06 PM
3

Agreed. I also wish more of their hurt turned to compassion for others.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/07/26 03:04 PM
2

These women have all had other options. It may shock you, but they actually adore these men. Love is more complex than people here think. Hotter women want hotter men. The politics isn't the point, just like it wasn't for the bridge trolls. I'm not surprised. Dating happens even ones you realize aren't a perfect match. Not shocking to me.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/07/26 02:31 PM
6

Pain motivates us all differently. Those men are becoming that extreme due to the pain never finding an outlet. I'm not pretending I'm unique, yes, men are often awful to all sorts of women of all sorts of sizes and walks. The threats and stalking and harassment are the anger. They're also the cry for help. This is vengeance. Vengeance is caused by pain which is then made anger which if there's no outlet becomes rage and vengeance. I'm not condoning this behavior either. I'm saying they aren't o…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/07/26 01:53 PM
12

You confuse not wanting to mother someone with not wanting to nurture. And I present to you the difference: a child, especially a baby is entirely dependent upon you. It lives and dies based on your nurturing, it requires your attention body and soul to persist and exist. Which is beautiful because it is genuinely helpless without you and should be. The need is genuine. I'm sorry if any person did not experience the all sacrificing love of a mother. Genuinely, that sucks. But it is not the place…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/07/26 01:47 PM
18

It's not offense. It's hurt. Different emotional frames sort of. I'm a skinny minny flat chested gal. And let me tell you, men may say they just like the ones they get to touch, but from 16-22 that was not the messaging I received. Men constantly made fun of me for being a boy, a skeleton, a pancake, I must have an eating disorder (I didn't, I was always a healthy weight, just a more naturally elfish body type). Guys who were interested in me got made fun of or teased for it and there were some …
/r/PurplePillDebate17/07/26 12:58 PM
4

About as attractive as the men they're dating. Slightly prettier at best. By my estimation, the dough boys are with dough girls the emo twinks are with emo twinkettes. I find none of them attractive. But importantly, I don't have to. They like each other.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/07/26 12:48 PM
–

Given you don't even have the energy to write your own hateful rant, I am not surprised the process of finding the love of your life seems like a burdensome humiliation ritual. Is there anything worth the effort to you?
/r/PurplePillDebate17/07/26 11:38 AM
–

She has a song with Robert Smith from the Cure. And the people that got me into Love Island were men. This isn't about what is actually critically interesting nor artistic. He isn't looking like one. He is one. A significant amount of men here are so myopic and insulated in their ivory towers with just a dash of misogyny they literally cannot fathom dating someone that likes things they don't. The idea of actually taking an interest in what women popularly like is that verboten to them. And we w…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/07/26 11:33 AM
2

I ran before I was brought in. Dragon Ball Z men aren't for romance in my world any longer. Tried it once, learned my lesson, got the t shirt. I'm a slower learner, but I learn.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/07/26 04:26 AM
1

1 best friend 2 childhood best friends 5 very close friends 6 close friends
/r/PurplePillDebate17/07/26 04:20 AM
0

I basically agree although I want to say as a young woman you don't quite have this categorized insight down pat yet. You just have an internal dread near some men and not others. You have a feeling you could ask them your middle name and they wouldn't know even if you'd just told. Now, is this a perfect system ever? No. But you are onto something. I think the problem for let's say desperate and inexperienced men is they really do just want to date and fuck...it has yet to become deeper.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/07/26 03:41 AM
1

2 & 3 interspersed with us giggling at whatever we had on television whenever we started.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/07/26 03:31 AM
1

Yeah, I think fundamentally you have to imagine most women walk around being indirect and not saying what they think directly...like all day long. And it's exhausting and it's caused by not trusting nor respecting the people around us in very different ways. The fact we talk to our beloved men more directly is the sign we often trust and respect them and are at peace. Men by contrast have a tendency (at least that I perceive) of walking around all day saying exactly what they think directly. So …
/r/PurplePillDebate17/07/26 03:29 AM
1

I think the lingering small asks thing is just relationship stuff, honestly. You're describing what is essentially a bid for attention - take care of me being the particular brand. I can agree this is a more feminine bid style. But, my experience is men are just as likely to bid for attention, but they sort of do what I call the "look at something cool I did and praise me". And this doesn't seem like an imposition to men in the same vein in part because all the woman is being asked to do is come…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/07/26 02:59 AM
13

Nope. Interacting can change that, but just pure gawking. Nope. And usually I don't imagine sex. I imagine a kiss or wanting to see their smile.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/07/26 12:21 AM
1

That has not been my experience, I think men are just more prone to seeing this as an unreasonable imposition than women are likely to. I also think men leave things go more generally (I'm a bad example on this, I'm the more chaotic and easy going one between me and my husband so I'm leaving things go more often). The script you mention is basically: hur dur I ignorant stupid man cannot see overflowing trash and children in need of food. Enter nagging woman who demands this be fixed immediately.…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/07/26 12:19 AM
3

I kinda think this is an improvement. I mean divorce is down drastically among Millenials, we're taking longer to find our person, but it's successful when we do. That's not a bad thing. And, those who don't find someone tend to find fulfillment in other ways. Which is great too. I don't truly think things have gotten more extreme, I think it's just more normal to discuss and for tribes to keep to themselves.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/07/26 11:07 PM
1

The problem here is you're not independent if you're in a cohabitation style romance. You have that up for other benefits. If it's not worth it to you, don't obviously, but, yeah. I think is the root of the problem, your time IS now loomed upon. And trust me, this is something as a married woman who is naturally pretty wild and independent, I'm still working on and getting used to.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/07/26 08:22 PM
2

Periods are wild. It's not your fault you don't have one. Before mine the smell of onions and fish is revolting to me. Guess what my favorite foods are the other 3 weeks a month. Yeah, fish and onions. I go from eating about 3 meals to 5. And as a healthy eater I suddenly crave like absolute bottom of the barrel garbage and it tastes like heaven to me. A Lunchables near my period is like caviar of the highest order. I also despise chocolate...except during my period. Suddenly I feel like I may c…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/07/26 08:12 PM
1

Scientists study all kind of things that are fucking stupid. My best friend is a top scientist at Columbia labs. He'll be the first to tell you the amount of wasted stupid research happening because it's one peculiar, but important researcher's interest.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/07/26 08:09 PM
19

All the most liberal women I know, and I know some real doozies, are married or in relationships with equally liberal men who I, uh, as a conservative woman married to a conservative man, would not describe as masculine in the slightest 🤣 They're all big doughie boys or emo twinks. I'm more masculine in temperament and hobbies than them and I'm a 5 foot tall youthful extremely feminine looking gal. The reality is, you just weren't their person. And that's ok.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/07/26 06:51 PM
5

Ok.... Just so long as we're done letting the abusers and rapists off the hook. And so long as we no longer have any sympathy ever under any circumstances for men that cannot attract women. And no more for autistic people either. That's out the window. And if they complain, no more voting!
/r/PurplePillDebate16/07/26 01:15 PM
1

When I ask for something I give the expectation and time frame. "Hey, if you get the chance, it would really help me if you do x" = this isn't a set in stone demand and you have all day to accomplish it. Compare this with: "could you take out the trash?" = right now and this is phrased as a request, but it's really not one. All requests or demands being turned down depend on the how and the why. You can say no if you have a good reason to be saying no like that you're working on other things or …
/r/PurplePillDebate16/07/26 01:13 PM
2

I can be pro eating oreos (I am) and also think if you ate 600 in a sitting or exclusively ate only oreos that this is outrageous behavior and not what my pro oreo stance was originally about when I thought of it. And, I can also continue to be pro oreos and not want oreos banned or heavily regulated even while Bonnie Oreo and Clavicoreo roam the Earth taking the Oreo thing way too far. See the thing is, eating ores is natural. And eating too many ores or only oreos may also be natural. Someone …
/r/PurplePillDebate16/07/26 05:13 AM
1

Losers back home aren't looking for genuine desire...they're looking for a financial, cultural, and social imbalance to exploit...which they wouldn't need if they were genuinely desirable in the slightest.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/07/26 04:05 AM
1

I pick outfits every day and all the women I know do. I also watch many a movie sometimes I like them, sometimes I don't. Dinner, I get through the trial of having a thing I want or a thing I want every day multiple times a day. And I've maintained consistent fitness and diet while trying some variations... Perhaps you think curiosity or trying things out is a bad thing. For me, I knew what I wanted: the love of my life. Finding him took a little monkeying re specing, and trying things out. But …
/r/PurplePillDebate16/07/26 04:04 AM
2

Oh no, they discovered Katinka. Pack it in, ladies. The men finally have the touchstone proof we....only learn to give good blow jobs for espionage. Frankly....I wish this was true. This would be much much cooler. I changed my mind, light the flame of Gondor. The council of cunts must meet and consider a new agreement not to give blow jobs outside of espionage.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/07/26 03:39 AM
1

No. I would not use it here or there. I would not use it anywhere. I do not like dating apps. I do not like them, Sam I Am.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/07/26 03:36 AM
2

It really depends on so much of the why and how cut the family ties are. And how much even gone they messed their kid up. I'm thinking of guys I knew that had parents who were heroin addicts, guys who came from outrageous dysfunctional wealth, some that came from really really, I mean crazy messy divorces, not garden variety divorce, the kind Shakespeare would have written his tragedies about if they'd been happening in his time. And people that come from cultures wildly different than my own. A…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/07/26 03:34 AM
1

It is when there's a pre established activity people are there for that you don't give a shit about. And it especially is when it gets in the way of the activity (which for people that don't give a shit it almost always does). Men always think it's about not being hot enough because somehow that's easier to deal with than a lack of social skills and being a poser.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/07/26 02:32 AM
1

Seduction is by definition active and aware. It's not just being attractive or pleasant.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/07/26 01:57 AM
2

Guess I'll go tell my husband to stop seducing me all the time because it's my job....you don't happen to have a video as to how I could learn seduction because my only real seductive move is to wear his shirt and cheeky panties...and what if that stops working?
/r/PurplePillDebate15/07/26 01:26 AM
12

All the guys I didn't want to date, but was friends with fit one or more of the following: Were ugly Were very self destructive Had tedious personality elements that made them good for a few hours at most of interaction Came from families I wouldn't have joined for the world Had no real prospects Values didn't match They were funny and flirting, I just wasn't going there with them.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/07/26 01:22 AM
1

I met my husband through hobby. A hobby we were both super into. We also talked during downtime or social times. I'm not against the genders sharing hobbies or space. But I've been on the end of guys that aren't there from even mild curiosity and they're just pests and most of the women (not all, note, there are women who don't care about the hobby either) just want the men out of our hair because it's just gross behavior and disrespectful. And, I've never seen it lead these men to success. Sure…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/07/26 12:16 AM
2

O o there's so much in this post I can't even. I can not even. Here's hoping there's some sort of watch lists for such as you.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/07/26 11:58 PM
1

I've only ever dated dudes just living their lives and me just living my life. You know who is obnoxious and I generally avoid and recommend other women avoid: Men who come to hobbies and activities to date. It's super obvious, very difficult to hide, and egregious. It is not bad advice to say live your life unless the way you live your life does not include the opportunity to meet people of the opposite gender. But the next step is not to just join hobbies with girls. It's to examine your inter…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/07/26 07:04 PM
0

As someone that dated guys I wasn't attracted to, it wasn't for comfort nor stability: it was curiosity, and then hope that attraction would develop. And I need to emphasize, this was caused chiefly by a religious background which heavily diminished female desire. This is not most women. Most women are horrified rightly when I tell them of this.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/07/26 06:08 PM
1

Take it from someone happily married...and I'm the low standard dirty disorganized chaos goblin: If you approach your relationship as if your standards are separate and should thus default to a "do it yourself cuz I'm fine" mindset you are unloving, selfish, and resisting the call to be better and act for the benefit of the person you claim to love and the connection you claim to want. I work like the dickens to make sure my husband is happy cohabitating. And in return he does his best not too b…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/07/26 05:46 PM
-2

I think you can be a little more fair: A lot aren't complaining about 6 months, but typically decades or more of this. 2. Yes, women as a whole are the more resilient gender starting literally in utero and moving forward. And this is pretty well documented. A lot of these dudes have autism of some stripe so, you know I think we can have a little sympathy that they essentially have brain damage on exactly the emotional regulation topic. Women have been taught this whereas well, most boys and men …
/r/PurplePillDebate14/07/26 02:59 AM
2

Validation is one of the easiest and stupidest things to find and it's everywhere online. Who is validating you and what is the validated thing is massive. And if you're finding validation from men who compare moving a box to sex, that should worry you.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/07/26 02:52 AM
2

Uh huh. But the other men there is. It lets them feel vindicated on nonsense. I'm wondering at this point if you can read, honestly. I am telling you don't go down this bullshit victim path, which implies you haven't yet, but that you're on the brink. No, I'm saying you are comparing apples to aardvarks. Is what healthy? Asking people to do things and then judging them based on their answer and values? Yes.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/07/26 12:34 AM
2

It's not respected because it's non-existent on that front, dude. Someone asking you to do something which requires your body is not disrespectful, someone being upset you didn't is not disrespectful, and other people agreeing you're kind of an ass for how you decide to use your body and the values that inform it is also not disrespectful. Yes, I am sure men here are seeking a kind of victimhood that in no way pertains to someone that barely knows them asking them to lift water onto the grocery …
/r/PurplePillDebate13/07/26 11:57 PM
2

Yeah, I know, I addressed this. Her interest in you is almost entirely irrelevant to your mindset. Your mindset is very transactional and selfish. It's not entitlement to think you should help random people you kind of know do things that are relatively easy to do. It's just a different mindset. And look, I do not exempt anyone from this. I'm all of 105 pounds and I've helped people move house. Sure, I'm not the most for heavy lifting, but I can pack, I can unpack, and I can carry medium to smal…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/07/26 11:51 PM
2

Yeah, I mean, I can't tell you how many people my husband and I have helped independently and together that weren't very close to us, we hardly knew, or we didn't know just because it seemed like the right or a nice thing to do. And I'm not even saying go super out of your way and become a saint. But like, if you had nothing going on the day this random girl needed help that you kinda knew from a few dates, knew isn't gonna murder you, why not show up just for the lark of it. Do something nice f…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/07/26 11:46 PM
20

I'm a squat little idiot female and I've helped multiple people move house in my community. It's just a nice thing to do and you kind of hope the universe pays you back someday one way or another.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/07/26 07:34 PM
3

I think you're way overcomplicating it on several fronts: Firstly, to compare being asked to help someone move to sex is just not intellectually honest. It's something I've helped people with and would help most people I knew at all even slightly well or saw some kind of future connection with. Sex is just a different ball game entirely and I think we all know it and every time men bring up lifting a case of water or a dresser with the same "how dare I be used for my body" tone, I personally rol…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/07/26 07:32 PM
5

There's such a thing for sure.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/07/26 01:43 PM
3

I assume you're being silly or really dislike plastic surgery. She's clearly quite hot and good looking. I can't imagine comparing that dude to her.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/07/26 01:43 PM
4

He's just not anything to turn your head as the OP seems to suggest. He's meh.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/07/26 11:35 PM
8

I wouldn't call him handsome. I'd say kinda generic black man, slightly below average even. He seems decently well spoken, can't say I found him particularly socially intelligent or he'd know most women don't do "playtime" and yes, I am saying that word with derision.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/07/26 07:19 PM
0

Editorial you, honestly.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/07/26 07:11 PM
2

AHHAHHHHA! Ok. Sorry, I'm used to people being horrified that 12-13 year olds are interested in dating and romance stuff. So I was like...no this is quite normal at their age and it's a good time to start talking about this stuff because a lot of the boys especially don't realize they can now harm their female friends.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/07/26 05:09 PM
9

Most 12-13 year olds are hitting puberty and care about dating and how the opposite sex sees them to an increasing extent. And they all want to grow up and be adults. It's actually pretty normal and natural. They're all having their first little girlfriends and boyfriends. Some of the precocious and bad home situations will consider early sexuality stuff, and the unchosen develop complexes starting at that point They also are importantly at an age where gender dimorphism is causing them to have …
/r/PurplePillDebate12/07/26 04:00 PM
6

If it feels uncomfortable for you to do, there's really about two reasons: You have some anxiety you are working through and good for you, but also that's all in your head. And it's good you're working on it because that's the only way out. The other person is not keen to your advances and you are being pushy in order to either follow the social script or try to get what you want. And you should feel uncomfortable because the social script assumes she's interested and pushing for what you want a…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/07/26 03:50 PM
8

I'd start sooner than high school. My middle schoolers are caring about this stuff by 7th grade.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/07/26 03:42 PM
1

It's kind of hard to determine because you're making a value judgement about the impact of words. . Cheating is basically a known value of evil. But you know words can lead to violence, self harm, suicide, lost hope, creating a culture of hatred or fear, etc. It can also create a culture of hopelessness. And it's like, well in isolation it's unlikely to be as impactful, but also not impossible that's gonna be someone's 13th reason. But together, you know it can do quite dark things. Like, I most…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/07/26 04:13 AM
–

I can't say I've met many women who see their husbands as a lower standard...or that feel in their aging dating their standards are going down. Quite the opposite.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/07/26 04:05 AM
22

I'm happily married now, but before I met my husband: Appearance, character, how shallow their masculinity was. Their demands were...frightening and outlandish. Their boundaries seemed almost designed to drive away connection, but then they seemed shocked when I got to scooting. The provider thing never entered my head. What was I expecting? Good looks, charming, depth, security, and someone that cared about my comfort and prioritized maintaining the connection and joy and treating me well. I do…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/07/26 04:02 AM
4

Let's put it this way: everything depends what you value. It is entirely possible to live on one income even now and do the home maker provider thing... But you will likely almost never ever eat out, your meals will be simple, you'll have to work a lot of hours, you'll have to be very very wise with your spending. And for some people that's what they value and want especially if kids are in the mix. But, most of us want a vacation, eating out semi regularly, buying dumb shit, working 40-50 hours…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/07/26 03:06 AM
–

Ok. I guess we just don't see this the same.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/07/26 01:08 AM
2

Maybe. Again, I'm big on don't explain with malice what you can with stupidity.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/07/26 05:53 PM
4

I think it's that and a lot of people are young, dumb, not ready for that kind of full on commitment, having fun, being reckless. And so much of this damage can be solved by clearer communication, but, guess what young dumb people are also bad at. And thus, I think everyone needs to take this only as serious as it requires to learn the important lessons.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/07/26 03:41 PM
–

I hate to say this because I think a lot of men just disagree in their bones, but there's just seasons of life where the conditions are what they are. You're both working a lot, newborns, disconnection, the spark is a little lost, etc. You can't just work your way through some of these, you just need to endure without building resentments and it seems like a lot of men can't just let that season of life go without trying to fight it tooth and nail in ways that permanently damages the connection.…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/07/26 03:40 PM
–

It really doesn't unless you're maintaining two minds that women should both be excited for random indiscriminate male advances unless you care about them. And yeah, the only reason you'd take that mild disgust badly is if you were a little steeped in some kind of wonky thought process sometimes referenced under toxic masculinity or one too many manosphere podcasts. Because clearly you all prefer it when it comes to your mother or sister. You are being a creep and it's ok to feel ashamed about b…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/07/26 02:15 PM
–

Or, and this is just a game theory: Sex sometimes is a chore, especially if your partner is often asking for sex when you're tired, overstimulated, having a bad day, etc. (I adore sex with my partner, but I've had chore sex once and had to swear never again because it was that bad and he takes being turned down very well. I can't imagine how this goes for the guys that don't. It's not a chore if you don't make it one for her.) So that's why you hear about it. Not cuz there's some Nice Girls out …
/r/PurplePillDebate11/07/26 02:09 PM
–

I cannot imagine it is any worse than dating a gender with an in built indiscriminate lust. I also think it's very strange if men did not want women to feel this way that our brothers, uncles, fathers, and really any man whom genuinely cares for us warns us off men and tells us how dangerous they are and that they do not really care for us and just want to fuck us and use us..... It's almost like you want women to have mild disgust for men....but only if you care about us.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/07/26 01:11 PM
0

It's difficult to like strangers when you fear them. Simple as.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/07/26 01:04 PM
1

Yes, and I'm saying they aren't because they cannot build nor sustain the connection.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/07/26 01:02 PM
2

Not at all, it's not even really a relationship. You're basically saying realistically don't expect anything from your partner. Like...then they would never become my partner. Yeah, again, if they can barely clear bottom of the barrel almost definitive to connection elements they won't be a partner, let alone appreciated. The gay guys I know, and I've known my share, wouldn't even accept this low a standard.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/07/26 03:57 AM
1

Yeah, which is funny because it assumes a lot of us were fucking as teenagers...which I can't say nearly describes most of us. Frankly, I suspect if women were fully honest, you'd find more of them having their first sexual experiences in the latter half of college. So they're basically angry they didn't get the few precocious teenagers.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/07/26 03:54 AM
3

Wait, you think it's realistic to expect to watch porn, have few if any romantic expectations, live in strange ways, and few labor expectations.... Cuz I gotta tell ya, sure, gay guys may be cool with porn, but otherwise they aren't out here spending much time with lackluster, low romance, weird living men. And labor, don't even get me started. They hold their men to way higher standards than we do cuz they have no room in their heart for carrying a dead weight man. And no, you can't compare bar…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/07/26 03:50 AM
7

I'm sorry, but I've seen way too much of women (myself included) care taking men in ways that lead to the demise of their dreams, joy, career, and leaves them closer to the walking dead than if they spattered themselves in dirt and fake blood. Women sacrifice themselves all the time for the men in their lives. And love men who are not ambitious and capable regularly. This is an unhealthy dynamic no matter how you slice it and speaking of, plenty of men love their women as more than puppies to be…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/07/26 03:35 AM
2

No, it's not. You just don't like it. Tbf, this doesn't work on all of us, but some number are clearly impressed. For most of us, it's just a perk. And why? Cuz that's an easy lifestyle to want to be part of.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/07/26 02:09 AM
4

90% at least?
/r/PurplePillDebate11/07/26 02:07 AM
–

All the women I have ever known always knew they wanted marriage and kids someday with the right man. Some weren't ready for that to start given educational demands or career ambitions or such. But they always knew someday, if you catch my drift. I don't think there's a lot of women who are like waking up at 30 suddenly going "wait, I've suddenly decided I do want kids and a husband". I'm sure it happens, don't get me wrong. But I think it's far more likely that's the age everyone feels stable a…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/07/26 02:06 AM
–

O_O Ew. you got some fucked up shit in there, huh? I'm not a child and I don't look like a child. A child does not have this ass and never did. Yeah, it is. I dunno what to tell you. My father is 6'3, my brothers are 6'2 and 6'1 and 6'2. I got the short end of the gene pool on that one. Your understanding of genetics is interesting.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/07/26 04:07 PM
–

Yeah, I wasn't even gonna go there although I totally agree with you. Why put down how other women interact with the rules of their society? I'm fine with women who marry for materialistic reasons and hopefully find some kind of affection later. I'm also fine with women who marry for affection and hope the materialistic reality matches up. But it does amuse me how often men idealize a non-wester woman as more submissive or likely to accept a raw deal when I've known so many of them and it's like…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/07/26 04:05 PM
3

Personally, I think everyone could do with a bit more of a Spartan attitude including women. But, that wouldn't be male exclusive. I can't tell you as a strong woman how often listening to women around me just leads to the biggest internal eye-roll. Women used to defend our households, raise children, set a standard of strength and grit that regardless of if dad was alive, dead, or MIA outlined for children that acts of will are better than weeping. You wanted to cry, you kept it in bed with you…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/07/26 04:02 PM
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Yes, I did in fact get that impression from reading what you wrote. Either that or you were a middle schooler. Which is totally fine. But, one does wonder if your time is being well spent to suggest western women are worse when you haven't you know, been around that many of us to compare. Do they take the ramblings of the bitter and insane seriously in your country because I thought it was fairly universal to ignore those types regardless of gender.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/07/26 03:52 PM
–

Lmao. He's the shortest man I've ever been with. Your girl had all the 6+ foot dudes chasing and ready to marry. I ain't here to be bragging, but I'm considered extremely good-looking by the majority of people with girl next door bubbly vibes on top. Don't get me wrong, I think I lucked out extremely with my husband, but not because of our height difference. That never even entered my mind. The men in my family are very very tall, I just so happened to take after my mother's side on that front (…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/07/26 03:48 PM
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We wish all the Western men well in their journey to finding their non western queen and living with her abroad. Just be sure not to add water or bring her back home where she may suddenly catch our Western values and standards. Do I actually think we're worse. No, that's what you'd see here in the west too if the men here could manage to take the bitter goggles off. I'm 5 foot, my husband is 5'8. We're both, I would say, similarly very attractive people, but if you had to break it down, I have …
/r/PurplePillDebate10/07/26 02:23 PM
2

Oh sure, neither was good. But, the eyebrows on the right one threw me off.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/07/26 04:19 AM
2

Seriously, I still picked the left, but, it wouldn't happen.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/07/26 04:06 AM
1

Cool! Imma have to find a recipe for this.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/07/26 01:44 AM
1

Bibimbap.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/07/26 01:44 AM
2

Are you unaware what relative means? God bless and good luck. Hope that works out for you.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/07/26 12:20 AM
11

It's like seeing my parents' marriage in a paragraph. Like aren't you bored of the misery enough to repair yet? It has been 40 years!!!!
/r/PurplePillDebate09/07/26 10:43 PM
2

I mean that if there's a violent crime it's overwhelmingly likely it is a man committing it. And the fact you as a man are experiencing violence from men suggests that there is a problem with men committing violence. Now imagine, you were a woman, you'd be even more fucked and it sounds like you've been through it. *** I know you're not. So have a good day. But when the divorce or the "I'm just not interesting in settling down" comes, remember me. I told you why. Maybe you can tell her about the…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/07/26 10:16 PM
2

So you're agreeing that you were assaulted by men and did not deserve it and are a man...cool, we agree. *** Because every single woman I know regardless of culture or socioeconomic status or political affiliation has stories like mine and none of the men do. So a person within a relationship has expectations of what you should be doing...great. I'm talking about people outside of my relationship thinking I should be my husband's personal assistant, cook, maid, and office manager. But even if we…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/07/26 08:53 PM
8

I'm a huge proponent of getting married, I'm not a huge proponent of staying in financially abusive relationships in which the image given to children is dysfunction and a lack of accountability. This isn't even about my happiness is the great thing, this is about the survival and thriving of my children. But, I would say happiness is important. My husband is the greatest thing that happened to me in my life, full stop. He makes it all better every day in big and small ways. But if he was making…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/07/26 05:33 PM
2

Text more often with deeper questions and then ask me out and then we keep asking each other out and making excuses to be together until eventually that magnetic thing happens where you kiss or hold hands at like the same time. And then if that keeps happening eventually we're direct about our feelings and what we want the relationship to be. And that's a pretty natural progression to me. As far as losing interest: cruelty to those beneath him or undeserving...mismatched values, sudden and extre…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/07/26 05:22 PM
1

I think it's sort of how anything works. We all have narratives and assumptions about everything especially involving people. And to the degree people don't meet that narrative in certain ways we will either like them or dislike them. And it's all very individual. My husband loves that I'm a sweet, goofy, vaguely submissive, and care taking home maker in one instant and a blunt, pointed, domineering and willful little fierce creature in another. The contradictions I contain amuse, attract, and e…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/07/26 04:52 PM
–

No one wants to be seen as average by their partner or see their partner as average. And, I don't think women just "assume they have it". Although, let's be fair, we kinda do "just have it" comparatively. You can't give dick away. Everything we do is a reflection of who we are. You planning a lame date and her judging you for it and looking pretty. I mean, if you were trying to impress someone and you failed...that's what we call a failure usually. You can think of yourself any way you want, the…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/07/26 04:06 AM
1

I'd ask those women, honestly. I think being the penetrated one alters a lot of this, if I'm being honest. One of you is creating the force and friction and angle, etc. The other is having those things created for them.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/07/26 03:20 AM
6

A bad argument doesn't make something untrue, merely poorly argued. People confuse good arguments with truth far too often. I am a cypher wrapped inside an enigma with a mirror glaze.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/07/26 03:17 AM
3

There's a difference between discerning for flaws and hunting for them so you can dismiss having to consider if something is true or not. And I would say anyone who is likely to sling the word fallacious is the latter, not the former. After all, as I've suggested, it does not influence the actual truth factor. So if someone is concerned with truth, fallacies are essentially irrelevant. So the only reason someone would bring them up if we're debating truth is if they are not concerned with truth …
/r/PurplePillDebate09/07/26 02:12 AM
1

I heard similar as a little girl or was told I was being unreasonable, crazy, difficult, etc. I think it's actually extremely common for parents to minimize emotions or try to shut them down regardless of gender. And, if we can cut parents a small slack for this....well, anyone who has been near a kid can admit they are trash pandas with their emotions. The worst. Not saying it's the totally right approach, but if you've never gone day in and day out with kids throwing fits over the stupidest th…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/07/26 01:45 AM
10

Problematically, this is irrelevant. Fallacious reasoning doesn't impact the capital t truth element of any statement. It only renders it logically unsound. Which if you care about debate format or believe debate format is the best way to arrive at the truth is relevant.... But I'm gonna go out on a limb here and say most of us don't care about debate format. And I'll go a step further towards peril and say debate may, indeed, be among the worst ways to arrive at the truth of any given matter. A…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/07/26 01:33 AM
1

No, I just wanna like, buy him pancakes and protect him from evil.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/07/26 12:34 AM
1

If it helps, I too suffer a mystery down voter. 🥲
/r/PurplePillDebate09/07/26 12:33 AM
2

You know there's more violence to fear than intimate partner violence, right? Dating is the context of a lot of murder between people who are not domestically attached...and lord knows how much more would happen if women didn't fear actually speaking and acting their minds. Probably a lot more, but instead when men intimidate and threaten us or are imposing, we typically fawn.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/07/26 09:52 PM
2

Uh huh. I don't think you think that's a good faith response, sir. Men experience violence from other men is their problem in the overwhelming majority of cases. If your point is everyone should fear men, you'll get no debate from me. But I don't think you thought that was what I meant. Oh yawn, another stat bro. Let me put it to you like this, stat vulture: no one has ever thought any man I dated should be prompting me to buy my mother a birthday present. Or expected him to host a blessed thing…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/07/26 09:50 PM
1

Preaching
/r/PurplePillDebate08/07/26 09:43 PM
16

The relative lack of danger The relative respect received The relative lack of expectations by extended family The relative treatment of emotions as valid indicators of distress The reduced married and family life expectations The reduced appearance expectations (admittedly this is changing). The real lack of unpleasant sexual expectations. The reduced amount of double binds, I suppose. Pregnancy.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/07/26 05:42 PM
–

Hard pass and an ew. I'm 32 and if god forbid something happened to my husband, I'm not sure I'd still want to date a single dad and it's still much more likely than not given my age. I may choose single over someone else's mess.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/07/26 05:35 PM
6

It's fun. Speaking as a native to male spaces myself, it also often exposure therapy cures you of any of the associated pain, which is nice and feels very liberating. I used to hang out in a group of fellas where I had a disability, another dude was hit by a truck and in a wheelchair, two had autism. We'd mock each other relentlessly for our disability, but it came from a really good place of love and acceptance. For some of us the first We'd got in our life. Because we knew other people thought…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/07/26 12:17 PM
5

I encourage warm approach or being a regular so that you're striking up a conversation with someone you kind of know or have kind of seen around and someone that has given indication they're interested. I'm also a personal fan of out loud commentary that invites others to converse with you or offers an opening basically. This takes practice, and you may fuck it up a lot. Deal with the consequences of fucking up. That's life and it's the only way to get better. Personally, if you're in a bar with…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/07/26 04:31 AM
3

I mean, I basically think you clocked a lot of men here that they don't want to socialize out of highly insular low effort comfort zones... But, I will say I was not a big bar nor club goer outside of some random intervals mostly caused by loving my siblings and friends. I think the more accurate version of this is that you need to be leaving your house to go to a fun group activity which attracts both genders and being a regular places where you could talk to others. And the problem is that sch…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/07/26 04:07 AM
–

Most people at bars are there to socialize and form community. The drinking is the excuse. Form a relationship and the overwhelming majority will fall of the map and into a relationship and then a more intimate circle. In other words, and look, I didn't date that many bar goers, I chose men destroying their lives with video games and atheist reddits, but I was friends with many bar goers, they aren't lifers to the bar. They're searching for something and when they find it they leave the bar. No …
/r/PurplePillDebate08/07/26 03:45 AM
1

I think so, a big part of it is they talk about class and beauty, not being hot or sexy so much. The way they talk is more "I want to run away to Rome with you and paint you like a French girl" than "I'm thinking about you and my dick in the same room". And they seem so at ease and pleasant and concerned.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/07/26 03:42 AM
–

Ok. I mean, I am married to a ten, so, I guess I can't disagree.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/07/26 02:33 AM
–

Ok, I can tell you I've seen some of my guy friends show up on dating profiles and they look terrible and I know they're handsome fellas irl. But if you insist you know better, let's assume you do.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/07/26 01:35 AM
–

...that's why they hold out, cuz most profiles do nothing for um. But in person lots more guys look good. Ok. Take issue with it. No one would be taking pity if he's good at chatter and making the place more fun for everyone. It's not even a lot of work.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/07/26 01:28 AM
–

Strange to assume you have to drink to be a barfly.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/07/26 01:26 AM
–

Yeah, you can kind of tell when they're hugging the bartender and are on a first name basis with the staff. Plus, out of loyalty to a brother and a BFF, I've been a regular before. I'm the girl reading a novel in a bar to designated drive some other fools home. And when those days ended for me, I've known guys that frequented bars as friends outside of it. Don't get me wrong, some were fuckheads for sure, but a lot were just wild boys making some mistakes, but really good dudes deep down. I'm ol…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/07/26 09:23 PM
–

Depends on the bar, I guess. Some are just cool hang outs and communities with trivia and so forth. I'm not a huge bar goer myself, but when I was dragged there by various loyalties in my personal life I had preferences for some that were more like a pub. Decent food, atmosphere where you can hang out, talk, play some games, etc. I met some guys that way that I'd have considered dating if they asked.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/07/26 07:46 PM
–

I've always liked bartenders. It attracts cool people surprisingly with good stories and solid people reading skills. If they said someone was a chill customer I'd have taken it seriously as a rec. We just have to agree to disagree about looks. Mannerisms can ruin a person, but not how they look.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/07/26 07:43 PM
–

The standards don't change...most men just look better in person and women are more attracted to a man in motion than a lifeless photograph. To say nothing of the fact most men suck at taking and picking good photos of themselves. Thus I do in fact recommend going out to meet folks, cold approach is terrible tho. Become a bar fly, a regular. Someone everyone including the bartender knows is a good time and pleasant. Makes it easier to talk to folks for more than that 30 seconds.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/07/26 07:30 PM
1

It's not evil. Just short sighted, foolish, and typically informed by deep emotional trauma that you will end up taking out on the people you love both ironically and tragically. And thus people appropriately avoid folks with this as their main stated goal.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/07/26 07:27 PM
1

No. I think some men perceive sex as a reward for being a good boy. I think some men perceive sex as something a woman does for them to be happy. I don't think most women do sex this way. And I think only a man could think of sex in such a way because they're not the one getting penetrated. If I didn't want sex it would be agonizing. Genuinely physically painful. And not like say scraping your knee, but close to being stabbed inside. EITHER way, I feel sad for men that think like this. I can't i…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/07/26 01:49 PM
1

SA shaped some elements of my sexuality certainly. Outside of that, my husband was my only partner so it's difficult to say. I feel like I like what I like and he does what I like and vice versa. If he were to god forbid not be with me anymore, I don't think I'd massively alter if I was with someone else? I imagine it would look different and the chemistry would be different...but I don't super imagine I'd suddenly be like, well, I'm not into that or time to try that
/r/PurplePillDebate07/07/26 12:22 PM
1

I don't think companies and individuals dating is comparable in this way.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/07/26 12:16 PM
1

This would be why I wasn't having sex. I also don't think it's that hard to figure out. If he's cool seeing you date other guys and cool watching you go, he doesn't care.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/07/26 12:15 PM
4

Anger is not a primary emotion. These men fear women and secondarily feel a sense of sadness brought on by this. And yes, I do actually think if they had the same reproductive and sexual power minus our discernment, they would settle down young and have children while also fucking a lot of hoes. Which, for the record, women really aren't doing statistically speaking. And while it may surprise you...it turns out women are also doing what is best for men. The divorce stat is at an all time low wit…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/07/26 04:41 AM
0

The only "situationships" I have personally experienced were during the early stages of courting where I was prepared to name the thing and make a commitment and they (generally due to a lack of sex as a first problem) were often playing games, being vague, randomly not communicating, doing the hot and cold thing, etc. As for why I was tolerant of it...well, yes, I did fancy them. I also tended to know them so their behavior seemed to make a lot of sense based on what I knew, and yes, I did thin…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/07/26 04:32 AM
–

Here's another thought, a woman telling you what she wants is her telling you what to do even if you're making the choice. After all, if I tell my husband I don't know, just pick for me and he does...well he did what I told him. Telling me would be if he told me I don't know what I want and he'll just pick. And if he did that, I think I may just lock him out of the house with the 95 degrees and the mosquitos for a night. Similarly, if I tell you that I'd like to have a cute outfit picked for me …
/r/PurplePillDebate07/07/26 03:19 AM
–

While I agree there's a at least surface level of similar hurt and pain...I don't think an objective consideration of these two scenarios yields them as similarly damaging. Yes, both are mourning a lost fantasy life. As someone else mentioned, would you rather be sexually assaulted or stolen from? I know the answer before I ask. More bluntly, would you rather a man (yes it has to be a man so you can include the concept of penetration, disease, and let's pretend pregnancy, and the sense of icky) …
/r/PurplePillDebate07/07/26 02:39 AM
2

Seriously, the most charmed I've ever in a million years been was by significantly older Italian and Arab Men. Gods alive. They are ugly as the day is long most of them, but I feel like they talk long enough even I may end up in some sort of May December situation trying to explain to my very angry parents why really I'm the one robbing the geriatric ward. Most of them aren't low status, they're popular community pillars given the being aces at social interactions. But boy do they have the gift …
/r/PurplePillDebate07/07/26 02:29 AM
3

Actually, I did have the option, but I wanted an extra attack in combat so I didn't use my feat for that.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/07/26 01:21 AM
2

Wouldn't give a fuck. My husband takes the stupidest photos of himself 😅 he looks like such a goon and they're terrible angles. They make him look so much less handsome than he is irl.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/07/26 11:42 PM
1

I do not think those are the men drawing ire. I could be wrong, but that has not been my impression. I'm now confused. You mean women looking for men with better jobs? I feel like you're jumping around a lot and I'm struggling to follow. I think anyone can hold out for anything they want and some wants are easier to fulfill than others, some are a bit contradictory, and basically you can criticize just about anything as unreasonable, but the person can still want it.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/07/26 11:18 PM
–

Seriously, I can get through about half a Caleb Hammer podcast just trying to shape these caterpillars into something divinely inspired.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/07/26 09:16 PM
5

It is not. Girls have their own methods of avoidance certainly, but they are more agreeable or likely to give you lip service effort. I think I'd put a lot of weight on socialization, but I'd probably place a healthy amount on biology as well. Yes, I think schools are structured to natural disadvantages. Boys are more disagreeable, seem to be more easily motivated by short term pleasure, have more social contaminants going for them on that front, and school is very stationary and not so much han…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/07/26 09:13 PM
4

I think they have been taught by culture that being a man is not listening to a woman. Especially an alpha man. Especially a leader of men. I don't think they're being childish assholes within that cultural context. They do have to knock it the fuck off if they want good relationships with women, but this isn't precisely immaturity.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/07/26 09:04 PM
5

I am not providing data for the observation boys are harder to deal with in the school system...because it is an observation. Not one any educator I know disagrees with, but I'm fine if you dismiss me under unfounded anecdote. I am giving an insight, people are free to dismiss it and I wish them well.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/07/26 09:02 PM
1

I couldn't say. I think most of the rage at men over single mothers is the truly monstrous way they talk about them. There's a very mature way to say you don't want to date a single parent...most men on the internet aren't even in the same stadium as that way of speaking. Well, I mean, off the top of my head since I'm not sure how we got here: people have to work. They don't have to have romantic interludes. But if you mean from the employer's perspective, having employed people in a past life: …
/r/PurplePillDebate06/07/26 09:01 PM
3

I'm not interested in having a vulturish stats debate in this particular case. I am sharing my insight as someone who has taught children all of all ages. If you wish to dismiss this as pure anecdote, I am fine with that and it will make no difference to me.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/07/26 08:57 PM
3

So, I agree when you get married, you are a single unit and everyone pulls together for the best outcome. With that said, the math is still real that if I didn't exist, my husband still works more hours and still has all the same domestic tasks, right? Same for me. But here's the problem. I work less hours and make the same as my husband. And I have the same amount of domestic chores as him needing done. But I have more time. So I do more of the domestic chores. Cuz I love him. Obviously. But if…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/07/26 06:17 PM
–

Oh it's me, your bare faced lady friends with many bare faced lady. I say this with so much love, but unless she looks like a drag queen, men can't spot make up or self-care. Us bare faced ladies usually have a skincare routine that would knock your socks right off the "all natural" and hair removal routines to go with it and hair routines. My eyebrows are like the sistine chapel of effort, my hair itself, the Mona Lisa, and my skincare is the Eras Tour. This is about as unnatural as you can get…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/07/26 06:08 PM
1

It depends why the man is saying it. I don't think she's a dirty used up whore. If anything, my advice comes from a place of "step fathers and men not biologically related to the child are the most likely to be their sexual abusers". So my first problem isn't with her ultimately. I have other problems about poor judgement. I don't see how jobs enter this picture. If anything, I would tell such a woman to focus on her career and pull her family out of this by her own strength of will. You hope we…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/07/26 05:42 PM
6

I am not discussing grades. I'm discussing the ability to problem solve, critical thinking, and the ability to use disagreeability in task avoidance. See my comment to someone else.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/07/26 05:40 PM
9

So, in school there are many small tasks which are not at all interesting nor dopamine inducing. They are necessary, but boring. Boys will pretend to be helpless or may even genuinely feel that way in the face of these kinds of problems. Think having a pencil or figuring out what they're meant to be doing or a step in a task they could figure out, but it wouldn't be fun. In turn, they will quite naturally when prompted with it, go right for I don't know. Note, these are boys who can use you tube…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/07/26 05:39 PM
6

It could, but, I'm more specifically addressing a sort of helplessness towards tasks perceived as uninteresting and then when you attempt to address this behavior they're so aggressive, disagreeable, and difficult that there's a tendency to give up and just let them slide, get in a power struggle, or they genuinely run out the clock so to speak simply by being stubborn.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/07/26 05:32 PM
–

My man has jack shit to his name. I'm the one from means and financial intelligence. 🤣 My grandparents have hit the dying era and he's making out like a bandit between fishing gear, an extremely expensive lawnmower, and the list goes on. All of his are dead and he has some photos. I'm the one with the pension. Lmao. Y'all gotta stop your "we don't care who she is and what her job is" thing. Making Y'all date scrubs.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/07/26 02:09 PM
11

The more I teach, the more I see learned helplessness is particularly ingrained in boys because they are such maelstroms to deal with.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/07/26 01:58 PM
4

Relationships are long and people act somewhat differently as they get to know each other compared to when they're say 6 months settling into a relationship. He's mended since then and listens well, but there was a rough patch for sure and it was lucky I'd learned from previous relationships how to finally handle it without it wrecking the connection. I give good directions and offer resources with any advice I'm genuinely giving in my life. I think you are underrating the degree to which men do…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/07/26 01:18 PM
6

I don't think you can misunderstand almost every man you've ever met. This is a common theme and it is one most women experience consistently.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/07/26 12:56 PM
13

I listed many things they like. Just extrapolate from the dislike and you get what they like. But it sounds much worse if I say it that way, but I can do it for you: Men like women to be their admiring inferiors in almost every possible way and also like them to never need anything except to the degree it serves his ego without challenging it.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/07/26 04:52 AM
11

Those women learned from other men and assume you are the same. Took me awhile to realize my husband wasn't. Or you are the same, I don't know you. But if I had a nickel for every man that told me he was totally capable of handling me "reading him" and "being honest", I'd have at least a good milkshake worth of change. I mean, it's difficult to entirely articulate, but they're not good at listening to anyone unless they've determined near immediate gratification or value is happening...and they'…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/07/26 04:49 AM
3

I was being silly as well.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/07/26 04:03 AM
11

It has been my considered experience people never think this is the case and think I am wrong until they see it happening before their very eyes or think back with an open mind. And certainly, if they are a man, they never think it true of themselves, which is fine. But this has been my experience of men across sub cultures and ages. My husband isn't like this, partially why I married him. He has the same listening problem as most men, but he learned pretty quick when I let him fall on his face …
/r/PurplePillDebate06/07/26 04:02 AM
6

Don't listen to her, Ange, I did it and it has been awesome so far. Keep those standards high, expect great things from your fiance and give him great things!!! Go down with the ship a true queen of America.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/07/26 03:45 AM
16

I don't dislike men. The majority of my friends over time have been and are men. My husband is wonderful as are most of the men in my life. Broadly speaking: Boobs Ass Pussy Face Attached to a woman that is overly willing, easily accessed, agreeable, quiet, impressed by them, less competent, capable, and smart than them, but willing to dumbly nurture them and run all the elements of their life they do not like, but also unavailable enough other men can't have her while admiring her. And she shou…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/07/26 03:40 AM
1

Thank you!! I think a lot of us gals here would marry each other. I'm not gonna lie, I'd marry a lot of the women here platonically. That one professor martial artist nerd lady scientist is pretty cool here. This is why I can never take this question seriously. It's more interesting to ask people why someone wouldn't want to marry them. Just to see the self awareness.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/07/26 02:43 AM
13

My husband, yes. Outside of him, not really, no. I hate to say it, but I never needed to go looking. You are drowned in what men like, expect, and want from a pretty young age at least where I am from. And I can't say it was ever difficult to figure out even if I wasn't getting told it constantly and shown it constantly. Such is the fate of the second sex. Men have to ask and observe because they are not forced to learn so much and they're more disagreeable. Frankly, I don't think most try to di…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/07/26 02:40 AM
2

I'm a "whichever parent is most concerned with and capable of giving children a good lauch into life" type of person. And I always firmly hope that is both parents and that they can work out a good arrangement for the kids and their individual schedules. I also firmly think if you could not make it work with the other parent, it is time for lots of therapy and soul searching before you repeat this mistake and inflict more harm on your children and others. I also generically believe it is a very …
/r/PurplePillDebate06/07/26 02:21 AM
3

I unpopularly agree. I did not live with my husband prior to marriage. We took vacations together, so I knew I could wake up next to him. Where there struggles when we first moved in and compromises and learning? Yes. Are they still happening? Yes. The question of marriage is incredibly simple and not at all easy: do you vow to work with, change with, and compromise with this person come hell or high water? People who need to move in before marriage (and note, my brother was one of these for a v…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/07/26 06:12 PM
1

I mean a kid basically. Like that 16 to 24 range, most people haven't blossomed. They aren't anything. They're a long shot bet. And if you're on the wrong side of that 25+ you're failed to launch city. Even if you have a decent job, etc. You're now a bad bet. You may be mature at life, but you've got no relationship experience and there's 90% of the time a reason for that. And you aren't evil, but someone has to be a little silly to give you a shot because you're not a good bet. I didn't say not…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/07/26 02:33 AM
5

Lmao. Modern medicine doesn't come close to clearing pregnancy complications and it kills many of us to this day. Most women experience difficult pregnancies, pregnancy itself is difficult. I can't even with you. Divorce doesn't fall out of the sky and 50% hasn't been an accurate statistic in ages. It's an unfounded fear. Do better. And have the happiest 4th of July too!
/r/PurplePillDebate05/07/26 02:26 AM
5

I'm confused. Your girlfriend broke up with you because she didn't want to be your first girlfriend? Isn't it too late for that if she's your girlfriend? I don't know how old you are, but I'm 32 and married. I started dating at 17 almost 18. I met my husband at 25 and we got married when I was 30. So I do have some perspective that's a little aged. The problem with dating anyone (guy or girl) who hasn't arrived is that you don't know who they're going to really become because nothing is set in s…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/07/26 06:49 PM
6

I think everyone is pretty equally allowed to distrust everyone especially on an individual scale. I'm constantly shocked by how much men won't distrust women and protect themselves or that when they do it's nuclear options instead of much lighter options. If you mean in internet arguments for fun...I dunno. I haven't been overwhelmed by the good faith of men here. And I also haven't been overwhelmed by the good faith of women here, we just happen to agree more often generically. As for projecti…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/07/26 06:32 PM
-1

I want to be treated differently than others because I'm his wife, girlfriend, beloved. How that happens may at times be dictated by being a woman (for example, being babied on my period). But the special treatment ain't cuz I'm a woman mostly. It's cuz I'm his lady. And he gets it too whether he's aware or not. If other men had pulled this shit my exs did they would not have been getting kissy face love bug empathy, a shin kick would be more appropriate.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/07/26 02:04 PM
1

Oh, I said that to hurt him in this scenario. He's supposed to feel small and emasculated because he went looking to and now I'm doubling down on his stupidity.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/07/26 01:59 PM
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O.o you know she can choose to have it. So if you knew she was taken and you can easily confirm this and didn't notify the other dude, just as liable. Lmao. Yeah, women are the ones dodging responsibility for children and helping victims. That's us. I'm starting to change my mind since you won't consistently apply this and say there's no crime here. Immorality, sure, but crime. Nope!
/r/PurplePillDebate04/07/26 05:33 AM
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Most know. And if they do, why can't we prosecute and fine them too for participating in the paternity fraud? Whenever you fuck, you know it can end in kids. It's not yesteryear. You can look people up on social media and know if they're taken in the majority of cases.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/07/26 05:19 AM
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Yeah, that's what I'm saying. You got me. I'm not discussing with someone who has zero good faith to them.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/07/26 04:28 AM
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Clearly, I am talking about the bio dad. If you had an ounce of good faith you would know that. And he's sleeping with a taken woman presumably otherwise there's really no crime here beyond a woman what, not figuring out who the dad was using concrete thinking. Not a punishable one. If we start punishing that, I think most men will be in prison.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/07/26 04:28 AM
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That ain't the dad chief. That's the whole thing, right? It's not the same thing because mom is getting sent away while the dad the kid normally would end up with isn't the father and is being removed. No other crime fits this and doesn't include a realistic element of violence or easily repeated offense. Even calling it a crime is a little weird, but I'm going there with ya.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/07/26 04:01 AM
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I don't think you believe that or you haven't heard of rape, murder, or torture then rape and murder. And kidnapping is there. Ritual abuse is there. This is bad, but it's so far from the most evil thing you can do that I'd go so far as to say it's not even top ten material.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/07/26 03:26 AM
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I said fines were fine. I don't see how prison makes sense or fits the crime in the first place and in the second, there's kids who need guardians. I don't think most women know they're committing paternity fraud as such. I imagine most cheat and then just kind of cross their fingers about it. Which is absolutely wrong, but not some big evil thing deserving of jail time. Again, fine it, make her pay the wrong man back, but making a child suffer like this is bad and not necessary.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/07/26 03:15 AM
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I'm cool with fines, but jail is ludicrous. Someone has to care for the child and finding the real dad ain't that easy. This is just fucking kids over for having a shitty mom and dad.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/07/26 02:41 AM
0

I don't think this is a must. 18-22 men can be much and offer much, many choose not to unfortunately..
/r/PurplePillDebate04/07/26 02:40 AM
–

Yes, I do. And no, I don't particularly see this as entitlement. If I can help another person including men at low to light risk to myself, I do. And if say a child was in danger, I'd go up to high risk because that's where my capability is at. Men simply have more physical capability.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/07/26 02:39 AM
2

I mean, I'm married, but: I'm cute I'm fit I'm beautiful Good job Good finances Excellent cook Funny Interesting hobbies Have life goals Very positive can do attitude Never met a cat I didn't like Excellent taste in blankets Superior knowledge of health insurance Emotionally intelligent and solid Zero drama 16. From a solid, but slightly crazy family of decent means. Extremely respected in both my small communities and the local community. I'm 32 and I look 20 cuz of that vampire blood. You can …
/r/PurplePillDebate04/07/26 02:35 AM
7

I'm only accepting us calling them Losers Back Home. If you go somewhere because you truly love and value that culture, or end up adventuring, or military, bless you and the life and wife you find. But dudes going abroad purely to exploit their wealth and country of origin you deserve to have your life turned upside down when she figures it out or conned by one that already has.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/07/26 02:32 AM
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I've dated the most shy awkward men, they had simply relegated their aggression to the realm of words and ideas. And they'd say shit that would make you wish they'd just slapped you so that walking away would be easier. All men have a drive towards aggression and dominance. Some of them learn to control and wield it appropriately, I would not count on the shy awkward guy to be that. Unknown quantities are more volatile than known ones and much harder to avoid or mitigate until it's too late.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/07/26 05:55 PM
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Did most of these women know that their man was a prolific serial whateverer? Were these women also engaged in the prolific serial whateverering? Most didn't know. The ones that knew were doing it too. As for your rapist...he served his time, do you suspect he told that woman "and I'll do it again" or do you think he said he was redeemed? I'm going to tell you what I think is really going on beyond what I've already highlighted: an aggressive man is a known quantity. And women know all men are s…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/07/26 03:22 PM
1

I'll do you one better: They aren't necessarily unattractive nor broke, they're just isolating themselves or extremely awkward. Also, what lesliecarbone said.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/07/26 03:17 PM
1

While I'm certainly a proponent of waiting to have sex, I don't think sex influences the overall finding of a steady man, it simply eliminates dealing with the unsteady ones to a slightly higher degree. Your friend's problem isn't that she has sex with them, it is that her choices in the first place sound poor and then by offering sex easily, those men are less likely to eliminate themselves. But I've only had sex with one dude, and dated many many others from all different walks of life. Most w…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/07/26 03:16 PM
2

I'm a woman, and I like Taylor Swift, but, as my husband and I have discussed previously: we'd go to almost anyone's wedding. Love is so joyful to see and experience, it reminds you of your own special day, you get to eat and drink with people who are all in a good mood and look sexy. Why not? And you get the added benefit of making your girl happy? This is a no brainer.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/07/26 02:10 AM
1

Just because I've been watching landman: every romantic relationship you'll have will be a failure, until your last one Is this your last one? Cuz if it's not the last one, fuck it, try shit and figure out who you are what you really want.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/07/26 02:07 AM
0

Yeah. That's not enough. All the other kids do that shit and spend 8 hours a day together in a very particular environment with a very different set of rules. A few hours at chess club or sports or camp will not solve this. Your kid will have mild social retardation for life if you're lucky and likely endure incredibly difficult periods of isolation and be an easy mark for predatory and manipulative types forever. It can still be a fine choice, but there are very real costs you will never have t…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/07/26 12:34 AM
1

Speaking as a non religious homeschooler, it's bad and parents can pretend there's clubs or hobbies or sports and the neighbors, but you don't get the crash course in socialization they do, and they quickly find you weird, have better friends because they spend 8 hours a day together, and you're lonely and isolated anyway and spend most of your college years making up for this while still ending up socially retarded for the rest of your life in certain ways. It may still be worth it, but I'm not…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/07/26 12:31 AM
2

Do you care about loyalty in that way? Personally, the moment a dude asks me to open a relationship regardless of reasons, the relationship is over. But, I'm me. I don't care if you're in Alcatraz for ten years. Use your hand or lose me. If you don't feel that way, then you can go for it.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/07/26 12:25 AM
–

I have, multiple times. I don't think it worked out. But I also don't think most guys are ugly. I just had a type there for a minute.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/07/26 12:21 AM
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I'm generically what they call an optimist and a hopeless romantic, so on those grounds alone I must protest. Secondly, I just don't agree really. If Clavicular and his ilk prove anything, it's that looks aren't the only thing that matters because most of them are perfectly fine looking young men who by all appearances should have been more than able to succeed with women. Their problems run a little deeper and I'm not saying that as some gotcha they're pure evil. Frankly, when I look at them, I…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/07/26 11:24 PM
1

Yeah, I've seen that, but I haven't exactly like attributed it to gender as much as different sorts like different sorts.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/07/26 07:53 PM
3

I've only had men bring up sex once and again, he was a weirdo. Many men do discuss their dating woes, same as women, but it isn't sex centric. It's more like, you know dating woes centric: finding the right person, learning how and when to compromise, is this acceptable treatment, etc. But most of them it really isn't different than women. Family shit, friend shit, job shit, self-esteem, ego.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/07/26 07:30 PM
2

Lindsay Ellis did a great video. Put shortly, Yoko didn't break the Beatles. Easier to blame a woman than admit their own internal dynamics sucked. We don't create them, we recognize them accordingly.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/07/26 06:47 PM
1

Yeah, I've seen that happen, typically because the dude was really good at something the women didn't value particularly. Like I'm impressed by you being a pro star craft player, but if one of my girlfriends came round because she tagged along with me, she wouldn't be able to care less.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/07/26 05:51 PM
3

Yeah, and again, this is super rare. I mean super rare. I've seen all of once a dude get like this and it was over dudes he was not friends with taking my attention away (1 in a romantic sense and 1 in a platonic sense). And he was obsessive and weird. This just isn't common. Most guys can handle not getting the girl or whatever and most guys aren't significantly altering their personalities in these situations. It feels like OP feels the need to somehow justify having a boys night...but you don…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/07/26 05:42 PM
1

Nah, haven't seen it. It's extremely rare there's true upset of a lasting variety unless you had two guys that love triangle levels of really liked her. And that's super rare. Women just aren't that capital I important.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/07/26 05:36 PM
8

Having spent my life as one of the few women in a male space, I think most men do just fine having brotherhood even with women present no matter how many women you add. Men will compete regardless because they like to. Men also like hierarchy and will invent it regardless of women. And, I'm gonna say it, the same men that get women will also be the same men at the top of the hierarchy and competitiveness and competence as if there were no women. And they will select their brotherhood bonds along…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/07/26 05:12 PM
2

She sounds like a bad person? It also sounds like there was trouble in paradise already and that for whatever reason, as lovely as your friend is, he didn't make her feel seen and special despite his best efforts. Probably, it sounds like she's chasing thrills and highs and that's not something your friend was maintaining. (Not blaming, she sounds like a nightmare). The other guy did for whatever reason. It's likely if she dated him the thrill would expire eventually. Because this is a problem i…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/07/26 04:56 PM
–

O.o have you wondered if you've got a type?
/r/PurplePillDebate02/07/26 04:51 PM
–

I think the first is good, but semi generic and obvious. I also personally just find it dark spirited and evil in a way I cannot really abide. I think the second one is much more messy, but much more ambitious and artistic in how it depicts mental illness, how society exploits the pain of criminals and their victims, and it just doesn't let up at all in a way that makes the ending a surprise and slam dunk for me. Again, it's certainly more messy, but using musical numbers to show being divorced …
/r/PurplePillDebate02/07/26 02:07 AM
1

It's way more complicated than that is really all I can say. Austen is more clever than the trope her work was reduced to and forwarded.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/07/26 02:04 AM
2

I'm basically assuming you're trying to troll me and i uh, yeah. Hats off.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/07/26 02:03 AM
–

Then I've got no outs left for you other than you just can't read a scene or a movie.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/07/26 09:28 PM
–

I don't care if you talked about things or not, dude. If you see that scene as seduction your film IQ isn't very high and I wish you luck. Apparently you've done something for four decades badly. Many such cases. People like you couldn't comprehend the art to destroy it. I astonish many. It's a fantastic film. Either that or you need to watch it again, maybe you just don't remember what you watched.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/07/26 08:55 PM
–

It was a copy and paste, dude. Enjoy the report for just being a dick needlessly.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/07/26 07:17 PM
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O_O I've got nothing. I'm going to put this scene here for anyone that thinks this is seduction: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G56TRBUNkq4 If a man can't see this as rape, I've got nothing, I hope they lock him up and throw away the key because it is so obnoxiously clear that it is Lynch's intent to depict not even a coercive rape scene, just a rape scene. It is not showing an "in love" girl be seduced, it's showing a terrified victim.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/07/26 07:16 PM
1

Yes. Yes. No, I don't think I'd be happier as a man, but I'm a very happily married woman and my husband is not gay so....You know if he was a woman and I was a man, I guess maybe I'd be happier in certain ways? But I do actually enjoy being a woman.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/07/26 07:01 PM
–

While Sailor is changing their car's oil, Lula waits for him in the motel room. Peru enters the room, deduces Lula's pregnancy and proceeds to intimidate, grope and violently coerce her into asking him for sex; when she finally does, he mockingly reveals his threats to be a bluff) and leaves. This traumatizes Lula, who was previously raped as a child. I don't know how anyone saw seduction in that scene, but you're making me think now that maybe they won't get what they are meant to from that sce…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/07/26 07:00 PM
–

Agreed. I watch it once a year near Christmas and it is just the most gorgeous and lush film and so thoughtful and beautiful. It makes me glad to be alive.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/07/26 06:58 PM
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I agree. But, I don't think Pride & Prejudice or Little Women are on that list
/r/PurplePillDebate01/07/26 06:39 PM
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Probably is since I'm just seeing flirting since I don't think he thinks he's in actual danger. He's just presenting himself as daring. Could be, I didn't see it here. Maybe because I don't see it as very coercive. A dude does that to me and I have no interest, I call his bluff. It's just too over the top to read as an actual threat. Doesn't everyone? The whole point is that he's a lunatic who can be saved by the transformative power of love.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/07/26 06:38 PM
–

It's a fake threat, lots of flirting contains fake threats and shocking the other person. Threatening to hurt others is pretty different than threatening to hurt yourself? Sure, but we're talking about his intentions, not the consequences of potential realities. If he believes he ain't slipping cuz he's strong as an ox, he's not making a real threat. He can still be stupid or short-sighted, but he's not making a real threat. I mean, he is trying to get her to go on a date with him, sure. By flir…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/07/26 03:58 PM
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The movies are all (both have been made many times) pretty bang on to the books. I mean, this would be a criticism these art pieces make, which is that things aimed at men are presumed to be universal in appeal while things aimed at women are not presumed to be universal in appeal despite the fact they are universal in appeal. Men watch slice of life anime all the time that wishes it was as good as either of these. But they think that's somehow different because Japanese. I don't think these thi…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/07/26 03:50 PM
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Again, I thought the whole point was that he knows she's gonna say yes and he's showing off how strong he is. It wasn't believable to me that he was genuinely mentally unwell enough to kill himself over a girl. It's a display of strength and passion. I don't see coercion because he doesn't seem like he's really gonna do it to me.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/07/26 03:44 PM
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They're classic literature...yes, commonly aimed at women, but Austen and Alcott are considered excellent for all genders to read. My father loves both as do my brothers
/r/PurplePillDebate01/07/26 03:38 PM
3

Vindictive, sure, not true, hardly.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/07/26 03:11 PM
5

Lmao. If we're close enough that he's doing this shit to me, I already know his bad sides. It isn't slander if it's true. And it'll br true.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/07/26 02:01 PM
3

I actually generically despise the entire filtering standards concept if I'm being honest. This isn't really how dating works unless you're terribly jaded or autistic. We're social and romantic creatures. We're either drawn together and kept together by discovered compatibilities and feelings or we aren't. If you aren't connecting, you aren't connecting. This isn't some issue of "I said my standard was x and he or she is y". That really isn't happening. People feel genuinely repelled by differen…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/07/26 02:00 PM
0

The definition of hypergamy is dating across and up social hierarchies (often economic being primary). Men here focus almost exclusively on the up part. They are angry there is no down part. If they used the entire definition, I would largely agree this happens, but there are exceptions when a man is exceptional. Most of these men are putting the wrong effort in, they aren't putting zero effort in. They're not working smarter and eventually they won't work harder either.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/07/26 01:50 PM
–

Little Women and pride and prejudice being feminist is a real stretch on the definition of feminisn...and if they were, both would likely fit "the good kind".
/r/PurplePillDebate01/07/26 01:45 PM
–

So basically, you did not read my list because it pretty much grabs from across the spectrum of cinema. I have two David Lynch films here for godsakes. I was trying to figure out how to explain having a Jackie Chan film, but I couldn't quite articulate it. I don't think more than maybe two of these films could even be truly accused of pandering to feminism. And only one would be at all a fair accusation.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/07/26 01:44 PM
–

But it isn't fun or cool so it did not appear on my list.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/07/26 01:40 PM
–

I'll have to watch that myself!
/r/PurplePillDebate01/07/26 01:39 PM
–

I feel like in the Notebook he doesn't mean he'll commit suicide. It is teasing and flirtation and showing off. But maybe I'm missing that being real 🤣
/r/PurplePillDebate01/07/26 01:38 PM
–

Love many of these recommendations. Especially the When Harry Met Sally. I feel like that is a truly iconic rom com with so much to say.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/07/26 01:37 PM
13

I'm fine with it. For me, if a dude is ready to go that far to discover my sexual past (as nearly non existent as it was), I've got nothing to hide and I'm not ashamed of anything I've done. I consider that it either means he won't continue dating me, so that's a win for me because this guy is all kinds of invasive and paranoid. Sometimes when God closes a window he keeps the flies away. Or, he's going to try to hold some element over my head to get something. And if that's the case, well, I've …
/r/PurplePillDebate01/07/26 04:16 AM
6

And that you find weird, neurotic, disagreeable, and needlessly cold and cruel to you...and when you try to have a constructive discussion about how not to purposefully say things that hurt your feelings especially in front of other people they say they can't because of the autism. Don't give him a better deal than he's offering women.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/07/26 03:58 AM
2

If I had been less open minded about dating autism, my life would have been much better on nearly every front. Same for dating ugly weird guys. It turns out, the under the hood is not better and getting to know someone just entangles you, but not strongly enough to actually tolerate their crappy behavior they cannot help. So based on this is it fair for me to insist ugly weird autistic men take accountability for not being apple pie to date? And maybe they can work on being more open minded abou…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/07/26 03:56 AM
22

Big Fish - I'd hope they'd think about legacy and how a great legacy is often built on helping others for legitimately no real reason. Learning how to tell their own big fish story. And something about not being afraid because you get to tell your ending. Oh, and a solid representation of how most women wish to be "selected" by a man. Meet Joe Black - I'm not sure there's anything this movie doesn't touch on. It's practically a treatise on both love and dying. I guess I would hope they'd take aw…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/07/26 02:49 AM
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Can't say this thought ever crossed my mind. I'm gonna guess you watch too much anime and maybe hentai.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/26 09:34 PM
13

I try to and I think in some cases, yes. In others, I'm sure no. Often, I'm not necessarily trying to change these men in particular, I'm playing for the audience especially younger people who read these threads to drive them away or help them see this is not a perspective based on rational thinking. This is someone else's trauma spiral. Don't make it yours because the girl you liked in middle school chose someone else.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/26 07:36 PM
2

I accept that you see this differently. It's sub optimal for getting casual sex too and anyone who has examined casual sex at all knows most casual sex requires drugs or alcohol. Which entirely questions the reward framework. However, again, they do not see women as people. These men would fail and find the same excuses for long term relationships. They just suck. And part of why is this, they don't see personhood nor do they have decency nor respect if their dick is dry. We are who we are in ev…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/26 07:25 PM
2

"Dude, your dad totally murdered your mom"
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/26 07:10 PM
1

If ya keep using the language of reward and punishment, you are not different than the men you hate, you're just choosing to emulate the supposedly successful part. But you too, do not see women as people with agency and diversity. You see a trophy you didn't get.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/26 07:01 PM
2

No, I meant a genre aimed at women. I think it's a surprise hit with women more than aimed at them.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/26 03:51 PM
3

You're right xD For me having a dude threaten to kill himself over me was painful.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/26 03:50 PM
5

Wasn't it written by and directed by a man? I haven't seen many girls lionizing it nor is horror generally a female centric genre. I could be wrong, but it seemed aimed at men to me. You don't need to pathologize men like this to women...we actually deal with them usually starting at pretty young ages. The first time a guy threatened to kill himself if I didn't date him I was 12 and he was 14. Like, I don't need help here.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/26 01:46 PM
3

Yeah, so will you. I'd bet on her, if she even exists since I doubt with this attitude you're easily finding a woman fine with this.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/26 01:13 PM
10

Yeah, it's wild. Especially for me because I did date pathetic sad sack nice boys and not Chads until my husband. They were the worst. Why aren't they apologizing to me based on their twisted logic.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/26 12:00 PM
3

You chose war. She's just fighting it. And my experience is the women tend to win this particular war one way or another. Kids grow up. And when they realize why they're growing up without an intact household, they tend to rightly blame the dad in this case...especially since it's not like you're going to stop being an anxious nut job in the mean time.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/26 11:59 AM
23

Marital rape did regularly include the man violently holding her down, actually. We have it included in plenty of artistic accounts and it was a well established norm. And I love my husband. He's never had to hold me down or ask me to think of the motherland. Wonder if these things could be related?
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/26 11:57 AM
1

I think this applies to many of them, but not the majority. I think the majority want zero emotional entanglements at all and to always be in a position of cool detachment and dominance. I think this is because almost everything they say here is a trauma response.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/26 11:53 AM
15

There's also this bizarre "take accountability to me" element. Like they want you to explain yourself to them and apologize to them, and make right to them....even tho they're a literal stranger on the internet. It's just sadistic intent dressed up with no place to go.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/26 11:47 AM
1

Lmao. We agree. My side of the street is clean. He can spend the rest of his days fighting me for access to my kid because mommy isn't letting her kiddo near a crazy person that prioritizes his anxious demons over the people he's sworn to love, honor, and has no reason to distrust. Cuz if he'd betray me like that, he'd betray the a baby in a heartbeat.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/26 11:44 AM
1

There's only really one part here. You don't think they're talking about women. That's all they do. Literally, all they do. They are angry women are occupying what they see as a masculine role as the expense of what they deem to be the feminine role, child rearing.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/26 11:42 AM
4

O.o yeah, I'm getting why they're saying this. Deprogram? Really, dude. You don't want a person. You want someone to play a predetermined part based on anxieties about how a relationship you haven't even had yet could go wrong and catastrophic thinking... With that said good luck, hope you find her.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/26 11:40 AM
1

No. But a significant amount is particularly in case where no really extreme harm has been demonstrated. No. It isn't. Particularly when the caller is male and men are known to turn their pain outwards at others. I also would think it reasonable to ask post partum depression women questions about hurting their babies. Because they do that when it is quite bad. I think the police alert is wise provided they are not going to do more than a quick check in. On his files and if there's criminality th…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/26 11:37 AM
2

I don't believe so no. There rarely is some unique reason.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/26 11:27 AM
0

I'm glad you're a good "dad". But I do not buy what you are saying.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/26 11:26 AM
1

They wouldn't be the man in OPs description would they? I've known almost assuredly more nerds than you. I don't hate them, I just know their problems extremely well, particularly the ones that want to be someone's fixer upper. Oh oh, pick me, I knew. I knewd it. I'm a knower. I rolled very low and I still knewd it because my skill bonus is that high and I wear a ring of knowing things.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/26 04:02 AM
2

Usually they get rejected and then go on a mini non violent (if you're lucky) warpath trying to destroy your social life and paint you out as a villain for not returning their love. Some get arrested for stalking, breaking, and entering or attempted assault. The ones that do the latter usually get restraining orders and therapy. The ones that do the former generally eventually move on and do it all over again or if they're lucky grow to realize women will not make them whole and hopefully find s…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/26 03:59 AM
10

...oh honey, because that's what lonely and insecure men do. They obsess about just one who they invent as this savior figure that through her love and only her love he would be made whole. Almost every woman I know has been through this...at least once. I'm personally at about 3 myself.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/26 03:48 AM
1

Lucky it's not a constant consideration. It's a contextual consideration. You know, alone at night being a big part of this. When alone in non public spaces particularly in an intimate situation.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/26 03:44 AM
-1

You're on thin ice here, dude: Clearly, I do not think this preventative measure is causing terribly much harm compared to your serial killer scenario. Clearly, I also believe that there are many more suicidal men who harm others than serial killers. If I had good reason to believe 10% of men were serial killers and 33% talk about it in depth, but haven't quite killed yet, I'd have to strongly entertain some utilitarianism especially since serial killers creep me the absolute fuck out. And no, w…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/26 03:04 AM
4

No, it's more like, and look, I'd say this to a lady too and have to my one lady friends, like, it seems like you've made up this casting call essentially for the woman who will be your partner, and in some ways it's good to know what you want your life to be and look like... But in others you're removing room for an actual person to come along because life isn't a movie, it's life. It's meant to be more fluid and you meet someone and something that never clicked before clicks. And I don't think…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/26 02:43 AM
15

Like all Contrapasso based stories...the message is not for the victims, it's for the victimizers. Dante's Inferno was not a warning for the people harmed by sinners, it was for sinners. Women, I mean most women anyway, know the unattractive loser can be a rapist, and if they don't, it's not long before they will find out. Obsession isn't for the girls, at least I don't think so. Obsession is for the boys. That's why all the horror inflicted is on the obsessive male character. Yes, we as women c…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/26 01:57 AM
-1

I'm done talking to people that ad hominem me and misconstrue what I'm saying and then bringing in nonsense on other topics. My request has been very valid. This is a preventative procedure. So I want to see the stats on prevention. This is a preventative procedure being claimed to cause damage. I want to see the stats on damage. I do not currently accept the anecdotal remarks of a single man who is already mentally unwell and also DID NOT KILL HIMSELF OR HE COULD NOT HAVE GIVEN THE REMARK as st…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/26 01:52 AM
2

I think, with so much kindness, they should get over it because if you're reading the same list and you have a sympathetic heart, that would overwhelm the offense by miles because you're hearing women say they're afraid to be murdered, raped, etc. Like, just don't get on the elevator or walk on that side of the street. We're talking about giving women panic attacks so you don't have to feel compared to the worst of the worst....It's just not generous nor kind.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/26 01:41 AM
10

I'm just guessing since I wasn't there to know why those people said that: It typically sounds like you're putting the cart before the horse in the sense some of these things seem like something you decide with someone else rather than decide and then find a woman who fits the part. But I'm just guessing that's what they're about? I couldn't say for certain. And then I actually look at your list and I suspect they're telling you that if wishes were horses we'd all ride around. Cuz that list is l…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/26 01:38 AM
1

Nerds don't let you build a man outta him. Lmao. They wouldn't be in that state if they could listen to, respect, and desire to please other people truly. Women will be stuck alone if their goal is to actually make a love match, not play fixer upper with a guy who the HGTV guys wouldn't touch with a ten foot pole.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/26 01:34 AM
1

Like all metaphors, this one eventually breaks down...I think this one does quicker than most honestly, but, I understand it helps people who haven't realized dating is not entirely a just close your eyes and wish upon a star process.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/26 01:32 AM
7

I was raised without survival instincts like many women. I was protected and cherished. And it was presumed I would somehow remain forever a chaste little girl unbewitched by men and having a sexuality at all was shamed...all while I was also raised and taught to be as appealing and pleasant by and for men as possible which is a lot like raising a lamb for the slaughter and forgetting to mention a slaughter and also expecting the lamb to "figure out how to avoid a slaughter". So yes, when I beca…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/26 01:31 AM
11

So when women go to work it's at the expense of the children....but when men go to work....well that's *check notes* actually no, I've got nothing it just says "remember, men work = good, women work = bad".
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/26 01:21 AM
1

I'd love to spend more time with my husband, but he works and I have the summer off and he likes alone time to work on his car. So here I am doing my own stuff and raising heck here.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/26 01:16 AM
–

Girls clothing rarely comes at all modest anymore. It's a real problem when shopping for clothing for little girls and young girls. I've listened to many mothers and fathers bemoan this struggle especially if they don't have tomboys on their hands who want to wear basketball shorts and baggy t-shirts.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/26 01:15 AM
3

My adaption will include a divorce. That's how I'd get over this man telling me he doesn't trust me after everything we've been through and done together. It will be uncanny how I will let him go. And my feelings will die down...for him and I will remember why I was hurt. I'm like a vault on this. I still remember the shit he did to hurt me since we met, but lucky for him, that was all forgivable. This wouldn't be. But go ahead, let's fuck around and find out. And lest you wonder, I've never tho…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/26 01:14 AM
2

I have not experienced a lot of compassion, empathy, nor sympathy from men in some very specific arenas which are mentioned in this post. I'm not saying zero, but it is rare, especially when men and boys are young. But, I don't want to say none because when I have felt it, it was very life altering.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/26 01:07 AM
1

I think most men have a terribly unhealthy relationship with women and sex...and it is a significant explanation why they get so little of both, fail to maintain long-term connections, and struggle with their own inner monologues.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/26 01:03 AM
1

It seems so, yes. It's the only explanation that is sensible based on their worldview. And trying to tell them it's not fucking about them has not gone over well because that's how self-obsessed they are.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/26 01:02 AM
-2

I have yet to see strong evidence of harm compared to the variety they are attempting to prevent. And again, unless you show me stats or anecdotes on how many have been prevented, I am not interested in a biased and overly emotional reading of this nor your attempt to ad hominem me with this irrational "guess you don't care" line of pathetic nonsense.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/26 01:01 AM
3

Men seem to find it easier to give up on that commitment. And don't yeah but 9 months of hosting a face hugger and the chest busting. (Yes, horror at pregnancy is very real)
/r/PurplePillDebate29/06/26 03:14 PM
11

It arrives when they have daughters or girlfriends. A lot of these men don't. So there is an element in them which is wounded and living an arrested development. And if we give minor credit, some of the kindest strangers I've ever met were men. Including one I particularly remember seeing me sitting crying on a bench at night in university (I was waiting for a ride). We came over and stayed about 15 feet away and asked me if I was ok or if he should call someone, maybe the police or something or…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/06/26 11:49 AM
–

Assuming this is true, hasn't been my limited experience...periods. There's some days it's just like unstoppably dripping and even pulling your pants down or changing your tampon gets blood somewhere you can't even fathom or guess. And then you go to chuck it and there's no bag in the little thing or worse no receptacle and now you're holding a bloody thing and you're fucked because it has to go somewhere so you can put a new one in or on and pull your pants up to get it to hopefully a garbage c…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/06/26 11:43 AM
–

As a funny woman, it has been my experience men don't take jokes at their expense very well either. Has a woman ever threatened to punch you in the face for a good zinger? Cuz a man threatened to punch me in the face for a witty remark he didn't cotton to. And he's far from the only man I've detected to be a spot dangerous when the joke wasn't for them. See, my experience is that the reason women aren't taking your jokes is that they aren't very funny. See funny is kind of universally powerful i…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/06/26 03:54 AM
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I understand people think this and in some cases for good reason. My impression is that the sex goes because all the other pillars are in jeopardy, not the other way around. That's in part why if sex is the only thing dissipating and everything else is truly fine, which it absolutely can be, the marriage will persist. The marriage fails to persist when other elements go and then sex, which was the last bastion goes.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/06/26 03:27 AM
11

O.o I think the messaging is almost literally the title of the movie, dude. It's a warning against these one-sided unrequited obsessions men of a certain variety tend to have towards women. It takes you through what is a relatable desire (senpai notice) and shows you the results of forcing senpai to notice you. It makes the audience deal with how often male fantasy is disconnected from the desires and interests of the object of his obsession. And then in turn it reverses the obsession by having …
/r/PurplePillDebate29/06/26 03:20 AM
4

Dude, I'm married. I'm not in the dating game anymore, I've moved on to hero mode. The men in my life are a diverse bunch and I'm not saying this applies to anyone else's. But one is living in such an intense arrested development due to bad parents that he's not even trying to date. The other is so in his own head and way and admittedly a little lazy and behind on getting a job that that he spends ages trying to work up to talk to a girl and then bails almost the moment they don't just fall all …
/r/PurplePillDebate29/06/26 02:59 AM
3

The only time I think of lonely broken men outside of debating here when bored is the dudes in my life that are sad and lonely. And I don't laugh about it, I try to help, but it's insanely difficult to do so.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/06/26 01:54 AM
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I do not doubt it: again, it's a great battleground for everything else.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/06/26 01:00 AM
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I don't think it will if their commitment is based on more than sex or if they otherwise hold each other in positive regard. I think most of the fights over sex are between people who use sex as a battleground for everything else wrong in their marriage or a lack of anything else right.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/06/26 11:25 PM
–

I partially agree with you in the sense it is is unwise to marry someone you wouldn't want regular sex with....BUUUUUT and it is a big but: Women's hormones change and so do relationships. Where once two people were young, in love, with all the time in the world, time turns those flames to embers as children come into the picture, careers, ailing family members, community commitments, bitterness, resentment, menopause, damage from those children, and so on. I think if one were to say it is foolh…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/06/26 11:18 PM
6

Haven't heard of it. My best friend is a dude and I have many other dude friends. The only time they're excluded is from girl only shit. And they're welcome to be vulnerable and have emotional intimacy within boundaries of what is appropriate given that I'm married and not their person.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/06/26 09:56 PM
1

If you're an idiot in a toxic relationship, sure.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/06/26 09:28 PM
3

Yes, you can. I worked at a hot line. They collect such data typically. Good, let's do that too.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/06/26 09:27 PM
-1

I'm sorry you're too emotional to have a rational good faith conversation. Hope your brother does ok. Reported.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/06/26 08:59 PM
-1

I do not see your point, good sir. The research isn't fraudulent unless I missed something. It says 1/10 admit to previously physical violence and the other 33% admit to emotional abuse. I would justify this policy under the 1/10 alone. Yes, many of those men are being abused physically back...that does not change their potential to become violent does it? If anything it suggests they will see solid justification for their violence. (Which for the record, I would understand. If my husband slappe…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/06/26 06:25 PM
10

I get asked it every time I go for a medical check-up of any kind including peeing to find out if I have a bladder infection. Frankly, I always joke with them that the bladder infection isn't that bad.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/06/26 06:20 PM
3

I'm not Aussie. I would be pulling from the stats I found with a quick google which included the National Center for Medicine and National Institute of Justice. I do not assume Americans and Aussies are terribly distinct. Again, HOW MANY LIVES WERE SAVED BY THIS POLICY is a real question you cannot ignore. You yourself are willing to acknowledge something like 1/10 men are becoming physically violent. 10%. And all it takes to kill someone or injure them permanently is a kick, a punch, or a slap …
/r/PurplePillDebate28/06/26 06:17 PM
2

How many have been prevented by this program is a real question, dude. You have not solved the unsolvable, you've more or less said "that's an appalling problem, but what can be done!?".
/r/PurplePillDebate28/06/26 06:04 PM
–

Sure, but more juniors total will die by the pure nature of this thing.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/06/26 06:02 PM
1

Look, this is what we call a no-win situation, right? Suicidal men do often present a risk to those around them. This isn't hearsay or cruelty, it's simply facts and tragic facts at that because often this includes children (not that murdering women isn't tragic, but I think we can all agree murdering children is significantly worse). The problem is that you don't know when you're dealing with a man who is only a risk to himself (not that a man killing himself doesn't harm others. Obviously it i…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/06/26 05:28 PM
1

I don't even see apathy is the problem. Apathy would be a profound lack of care or concern. That doesn't seem to be present, what I see is people trying and failing to connect well. But they do want to. The want is genuine, it just fizzles or flops.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/06/26 04:14 PM
–

You're missing one detail here....who died in WW2 besides the minorities, political enemies, immigrants, etc. The discontented men. And who made up a significant majority of the people fighting to stop them....disaffected poor men. And who was still a significant majority of the minorities, political enemies, immigrants, etc. Men. Yes, it leads to horrors for everyone women included. I don't think anyone is denying that. But women will always have a greater safety from death because they can be …
/r/PurplePillDebate28/06/26 04:12 PM
2

I'm speaking purely about how I interact in debate spaces. Real life is a different place entirely. Again, intentions can influence perspectives on true, fair, and solvable, so I'm not ignoring them, but, they aren't something I would choose to litigate unless there's really no other meat on the bone. And they won't throw me off if I believe the message is accurate. By way of example, I think the overwhelming majority of feminists that I see online are highly if not exclusively motivated by some…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/06/26 03:58 PM
3

I'm intrigued you see what I said as excuses rather than a pretty pointed observation about the downer nature of men in social settings that results in them being invited fewer places. If your point is men are victims of their own nature...I mean, I agree. Most people are their own worst enemy from giving into their own natural inclinations.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/06/26 03:11 PM
4

Thank you. I'm hoping someone got my T.S. Elliot reference.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/06/26 03:09 PM
2

Both specific observable behaviors and vibes/outcomes-based thing. Both highly contextual and a reliable toolbox. I evaluate them purely on demonstrated social skills and then I evaluate other factors to arrive at a conclusion. Per example, my extremely autistic cousin has good social skills for an extremely autistic person. If I evaluated him like everyone else, he'd come up weird, but sweet. I also account for the environment and others surrounding them. Clearly, my standards shift based on wh…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/06/26 03:08 PM
1

I can't say I ever consistently treated anyone like shit. Just being honest here. Even as relationships dissolved, I would say things didn't get bad until the last month or so of any friendship or relationship. And, I'm ashamed in one of those cases how nasty I got because it wasn't fair or appropriate. But no, this isn't the norm to treat people who are not "the one" like shit. Most people give decent to good behavior. If that's not your experience, you're in the wrong room.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/06/26 02:43 PM
3

I'm only interested in what they are saying is true, fair, and solvable realistically without harming others. Why they say something only interests me in so far as it effects the other aspects or my own personal glee.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/06/26 02:39 PM
3

Yeah, was gonna say. Very straight laced and methodical women without much patience for nonsense.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/06/26 01:31 PM
4

Minutes to months, governor. No one said women do it all themselves. But the impressive and hard part certainly.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/06/26 01:30 PM
1

Fair enough. Again, you are having anxiety which is fine. But that's not a healthy thing, right?
/r/PurplePillDebate28/06/26 01:28 PM
2

I'm not arguing. I'm sharing with the class. Can't say I've sat um down in this place, no. Just tended to observe.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/06/26 01:25 PM
14

Y'all gossip all the time. You just dismiss it as you'd say it to their face too. But god men talk shit all the time. You love to yap. You just don't love it when women do it. That's all. It's a bunch of rules for thee and not for me bullshit when it comes to men and gossip. Men tell shit all the time to other men and even to women. You just resent and fear it when it's woman to woman. And you should. Gossip is how women have traditionally controlled social structures and we're very good at it. …
/r/PurplePillDebate28/06/26 05:01 AM
14

Saying I think it makes it sound like I'm the original on this. Which I'm not. This observation has been made by people much more brilliant than me. I simply observe how it plays out over and over again. It also isn't the exclusive reason men fear women. There's lots of others. But yes, women's ability to have and birth children causes significant terror in men in many ways. My favorite is that it's responsible for so much of the men built civilization rhetoric and women just exist rhetoric. It …
/r/PurplePillDebate28/06/26 04:49 AM
10

They are. They want women to behave, think, and act like men which is categorically impossible. And not only that, but they then can't them to absorb all male behavior (much of which men themselves will admit is intolerably dehumanizing and cruel) without even giving an irritated look or being avoidant or ignoring them. I don't see men changing how women behave, frankly, they cannot apparently plan a picnic and invite people and that's much less of an undertaking. They can't even do something ba…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/06/26 04:41 AM
5

Speaking as someone running a practical confessional for men since I was about the age of 7. Nope. Big fat nope. Y'all need to talk and quite badly. And about the stuff women do naturally. You've just been socialized that it is unsafe (by each other) and thus you almost exclusively do it to whatever women or girls are around you provided you perceive them as safe. And much, I mean a significant pie slice of the rage you see from men towards women is for either not giving them emotional safety in…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/06/26 04:21 AM
9

You'd think. No, men fear death. And one of the classic responses to a fear of death (look at art) is to surround yourself with life firstly and secondly to seek immortality. What is more filled with life than women? Nothing. We literally create it and contain it. We also have a tendency towards being the more joyful, optimistic, nurturing, cultivating, and alive gender (thus the manic pixie trope). And then obviously pregnancy, we are the most obvious symbol of life truimphing over death outsid…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/06/26 03:55 AM
8

Uh uh. Nope, say it right: Men make it a pain in the ass and unpleasant to hang out with them. And thus women naturally eventually get the message that men do not like hanging out or will not foster it. And thus, women eventually avoid it. After all, clearly I could not know this if I hadn't tried inviting men places or had them places to hang out. So I must have done it at some point to develop this opinion. But...and this is key...if men weren't making it difficult and we're fun and fostered i…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/06/26 03:47 AM
-1

I think that differs man to man, but just some examples off the top of my head I see a lot: Being irrelevant Being obsolete Having to form an independent identity Not being good enough Other men being better Never mastering Death
/r/PurplePillDebate28/06/26 03:45 AM
3

I used to frequent HealthyGamerGG and someone was crossposting or mentioned this place. I've been in online communities my whole life that were predominantly men and grew up under a very conservative father. I was about the right age when Gamer Gate hit and the old red pill which was more about men's mental health and rights hit. I was predisposed towards sympathy for men given my upbringing and old chronically online nature so it struck a bit of a cord with me to care about things like the cour…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/06/26 03:13 AM
5

It's fear deeper down than jealousy. It seems like jealousy, but they're actually afraid of us.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/06/26 03:04 AM
7

Artificial Wombs Not Invented - Men Most Affected Can't make this shit up.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/06/26 03:02 AM
14

I ignore most people, honestly. And I don't invite most people places because most people suck. Everyone wants a village, but no one wants to be a villager. And the reason I don't invite men most places is they're such a pain in the ass to hang out with. More even than women. Which men would say no? Most. Certainly nearly 100% of the men complaining they can't get a woman's attention. And if they didn't, they'd be a stick in the mud about everything. They'd complain and make that sour depressed …
/r/PurplePillDebate28/06/26 02:59 AM
3

What HR ladies has he met? All the ones I've met are like 50 and happily married or happily divorced. And not the kind of woman anyone makes a town bicycle out of. I don't think they even let slut material women be in HR because I worked in the school for HR at university. And none of those women had even slut potential.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/06/26 02:50 AM
1

It's a clear indicator of some kind of interest and some kind of courage at least exceeding those who did not. If your goal is to argue with women an approach is not a sign of genuine individual interest you won't get disagreement from us. It wouldn't be from the shy guy either in our world. They aren't most attuned to social cues is the thing or they wouldn't struggle. One guy doesn't care. The other cares so much their eyes swim and they can't get a read. One may be socially attuned, but is ch…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/06/26 02:48 AM
2

As I'm now telling everyone: if yoj mention corporations or consumers we aren't thinking in the same realm and that's ok. I wish you all the luck in the world understanding individual intimate interactions like they're the fucking economy.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/06/26 02:39 AM
2

I answered someone else on this. Reward is interpretive and in this case interpreters are unreliable. You can take any action and interpret it as rewarding if you're fucked up enough. The reality is, no one is giving you a consequence. No one is punishing. And no one is rewarding. You choose to interpret these behaviors in whatever way you want in order to protect your ego.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/06/26 02:38 AM
2

I genuinely think this is either intrusive thoughts or them purposefully self harming due to a huge amount of self loathing. And I think they're afraid to try and this helps them not have to.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/06/26 02:36 AM
1

I'm not having difficult, friend. I'm telling you that we understand this very differently and the fact you're citing businesses and the fucking economy is the sign we are looking at different things. Women are not a mega corporation nor consumer society. I swear to fucking God the worst thing that ever happened to dating was people analyzing it like it's the fucking economy. Women are individuals with individual tastes and reactions which can then be broadly categorized and then are interpreted…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/06/26 02:33 AM
10

That wasn't even close to my twenties. Not. Even. Close. And all I encountered was dudes who just wanted sex and worse felt the need to lie to get it. I've fucked one man willingly. I think you have no idea what reality is and are hurting yourself with lies and a minority perspective on a minority of women.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/06/26 08:34 PM
2

It's not narcissisms to enjoy bouncing off others and giving and getting attention. And no, he's an adult, when he doesn't get his way, he just seeks new spheres or ways to get what he'd like to get and give. You guys need to stop confusing rewards and consequences in this way. Rewards and consequences are considered and meditated. We all move towards what feels good and avoid what feels bad. That doesn't mean there is a rewarder and a consequence giver unless they are being thoughtful, which mo…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/06/26 07:54 PM
5

Behavioral modification is consistent and involves replacing behaviors you don't want with behaviors you do want through understanding what motivates the behavior and then finding a replacement that fulfills the motivation without being destructive. Women are not doing this to men for several reasons: We are not acting as a group. We don't hold meetings to discuss men's behavior, their motivations, and how we can best alter it so we get what we want. We are not seeking to replace any behaviors. …
/r/PurplePillDebate27/06/26 07:50 PM
6

I would say he's unlikely to, but there are women who will pursue. ...there are men who just talk to lots of people including women, dude. I'm married to one. He's a social butterfly. The only thing he's aiming for is socialization and attention. You want one thing from women and can only imagine talking to them for the one thing. Stop projecting that onto all other men.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/06/26 07:40 PM
4

I'm a teacher, I understand behavioral modification is real. Your problem is that women choose men and men choose women. It's mutual. And clearly, men who refuse to act in ways women (and I do mean individual women) choose are not responding to what you call the incentive structure...or are going after the wrong women. It's not a reward. It's women picking what they want. We are not sitting here going "100 points to gryffindor". We're going, I like this man embodying these likable traits. Again,…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/06/26 07:00 PM
1

Their stupidity and ability to deny women's agency does not change reality. I too can live in denial.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/06/26 06:55 PM
1

This isn't that complicated...women are not rewarding anything. We're not a prize to be won nor some weird Gordon Ramsay top chef judge. Not all, but most of us want a man who will make the first move. We're not interested in the man who can't bite this bullet. Everyone fears or dislikes rejection. We are only interested in men that can act anyway. We want men with confidence. We want men who can come across as daring or charming. We want men who can feel uncomfortable and act anyway. We are sel…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/06/26 06:04 PM
2

If you're in a public space in the morning, afternoon, or twilight and they do not appear actively engaged with something...you can absolutely compliment a shirt or Keychain. I do it all the time to everyone and I'm married. Maybe it becomes a conversation, maybe you just make someone's day with a nice compliment which is still a great thing to do. Compliment everyone all the time. It makes the world nicer. And luckily, there's still many places to go where you can form social circles that allow…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/06/26 05:32 PM
–

O.O the fucking audacity. This is what the mafia used to be for. I'm not saying that violaence is the answer, but in this case it's at least worth a consideration. People that cheat with friends of their partner and thay their kids know got to the lowest layer of hell and kept going.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/06/26 04:04 AM
–

Yeah. And look, you can say a lot of things, that my mom isn't compatible with him, is difficult to tolerate, all of it. But doesn't love him ain't on the list. She's bad at it probably, but she loves him despite it all. And it's extremely likely that if he wasn't married to an ivy league NP, he'd be dead today. The irony of his life: the thing he resents her for most is going to school to be a nurse. And she's never once thrown that fact in his face. Not once. Even at his worst, and post covid …
/r/PurplePillDebate27/06/26 04:02 AM
–

You're forgetting all the men who murder their pregnant wives or wives period. I'm just saying, the fact we're forced to dignify this is a sign of the audience.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/06/26 03:56 AM
4

Women can compete for men. I've seen them. It never works out. Just like it doesn't for men. If you've got to compete, that isn't for you. Arguably they were never in it by your worldview. They didn't fail to compete, they were never in the running at all. I'd just say they were never meant to find someone or their someone is still out there.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/06/26 03:03 AM
4

Sure, but they got a day on a boat. It's playing the lottery with a guaranteed party attached. It's not delusion so much as betting. Sure, that's being a rich dude. Yeah, there is, unfortunately. People are dumb. Disappointment sure. I'm disappointed when my scratch offs my gran gives me at Christmas don't win five bucks. This isn't delusion, it's just normal disappointment.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/06/26 03:00 AM
5

I couldn't even begin to hazard a guess because my brain notices how a man's personality influences his movements, appearance, and expressions so much.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/06/26 02:17 AM
–

I'll just say my parents are the definition of unhappily married and if you had to run the math, most people would agree my father is the villain while my mother is just an imperfect victim. (I wouldn't agree, but, it's not entirely an unfair read). When he got COVID-19 she pretty much snatched him from the jaws of death, barely. And it was learned likely a massive heart condition was in part responsible for how bad things got. And why does he have the condition, well, being fat and eating the d…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/06/26 02:15 AM
–

I think it's a mistake a lot of people make with attachment theory to think it's immediately playing a role. My best understanding of attachment theory is that it describes how people behave in well...attached relationships. Not dating, not getting to know each other, but how you operate once you are emotionally entangled with someone. The problem with modern dating is that we've invented more and more ways for people to be barely or lightly emotionally attached for longer and longer periods of …
/r/PurplePillDebate27/06/26 02:09 AM
1

It's not a competition because I refuse to compete. Something is either for me or it isn't. And while I may be able to alter the course of someone's interests, I don't want to because I want it to be for me without requiring me to act out of character. To the right person, you stand out without having to compete because they see what is great about you without others having to be lower. There was no competition for my husband or any other guy I chose to date. They were at least at that time, sin…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/06/26 02:05 AM
2

I can't say if they're shoving them in your face actually, which would be cruel...or if it just feels that way. Either way, if that's where you're at, it is reasonable to separate from that situation and try to find a healthy way to talk that through or at least get it outside of you and channel it elsewhere.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/06/26 02:03 AM
2

Couple of ways, honestly. Realize no one is thinking about you or your actions as much as you are because you don't matter to them to that degree. Recognize the catastrophic thinking you are likely utilizing and that like all catastrophic thinking, just because the first few steps sound reasonable doesn't mean the end conclusion is. Look at likely your childhood and how your parents raised you for the smoking gun for why you act and feel this way. Forgive them, forgive yourself for developing th…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/06/26 02:02 AM
5

I mean, it's not as delusional as it sounds if that's the territory, right? All it takes is this guy to catch feelings or be having a low moment and boom, they've got something going, which is more likely than you'd think. And if not, they get to say they bagged a rich guy for a minute. There's just not a lot of downsides to the situation you're proposing is the problem. It's not delusion so much as a lack of long-term focus.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/06/26 01:59 AM
11

I'm going to leave aside your usual "women communicate indirectly, irrationally, and with feelings" because frankly, I'm just too direct, rational, and calculated to entertain such nonsense from someone who can't handle someone saying something politically tense and gets upset. Not very cool-headed of you. I think you aren't really on the money about women as a whole category. I'm sure this describes some number of women, apparently the ones you're observing for a start. I don't think it describ…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/06/26 08:52 PM
–

When I was young, I did not have a solid set of standards and expectations because I was learning the field. And I'm lucky I was smart enough to not just move in or wife up. Not everyone comes from my circumstances, so they have to learn the hard way and are way too entangled to just easily up and cut ties. This is true for both genders for the record. And many think they can ask and they shall receive. People aren't like that. Behavioral modification has taught us that people only change throug…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/06/26 08:05 PM
10

How many women do you think are actually on boats with six foot tall gorgeous men that they aren't monogamously dating and aren't the equals of? Cuz I gotta tell you, I don't think there's many such cases. And most women may not be great at reading their own level, but they can read another woman's easily and most of us know if our friends are getting used for sex.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/06/26 07:56 PM
4

I would have said boring, awkward, or tedious as the most likely cause. Which I do kinda consider to be a bad personality at least on flirt blush and then kind of taxing to deal with if I did find some gem-quality underneath that. I think men undervalue how much a lot of this comes from selfishness of a really boring kind. Not like a build a gold statue to me kind. But a self-obsessed anxiety kind. And this can lead to darkness, but more often it just means everyone else has to carry your ass an…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/06/26 07:51 PM
5

I mean, I think it's comparing themselves to men is part of it (and this is in part why men think it's worth it). It's pretty easy to think it's worth it when you ain't risking death, changing your biology forever, and doing things to your body people including your husband may go on to call "ugly, fat, or wrecked". They imagine what it would be like to be a man, which is to say you get all those good things you mentioned with zero of the downsides. The second is that apparently, it's not as str…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/06/26 07:47 PM
5

My experience is that it goes more or less like this: There is a given environment which by design forces socialization of some kind usually via partnered activity. We call this a third space usually. So, sports, crafts, skills, discussions, whatever. People join this activity and like a middle school dance they tend to initially group up or partner with their same gender and form relationships. A couple things are responsible for the intermingling of the genders: Pre-existing family or communit…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/06/26 06:22 PM
5

I'm married, I don't need to go anywhere. I figured out how to navigate finding a wonderful man without giving into the flock of seagulls. No need to get spicy, I'm suggesting there's a historical perspective which suggests there have been many shifts and attitudes towards how courting is done and when it is appropriate for strangers or unknowns of opposite genders to mix and meet. And this in turn suggests there will always be some level of system and rules about it with varying degrees of stri…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/06/26 03:52 PM
4

Don't navigate. just be friends. Ask to be fixed up with a single friend. Enjoy the journey. Keep looking.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/06/26 03:22 PM
5

I've been approached almost exclusively while shopping, don't ask me why. It's never when I look my best and I don't think my torn between saving money and getting a healthy option face is particularly attractive. And I don't think my "could this elderly lady count out 76 cents of change in nickels and pennies face" is anything short of pained. And I do still loathe it. But I admit, I'm not gen z so maybe they feel differently about it. I was never open to a cold approach. I don't think the conc…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/06/26 03:16 PM
6

I think where you're sort of failing is that most of us "cute girls" don't just have one dude we're close with or male best friend. Like, when I look back on the eras of my life there were usually 3-5 guys I was thick as thieves with, 3-5 I was quite friendly with, and 3-5 kind of on the outskirts (they were friends of friends of mine). But it didn't stop there, I had generally 2 extremely close girlfriends, 3-5 good lady friends, and then 3-5 friends of friends. And although it quite surprises …
/r/PurplePillDebate26/06/26 02:25 PM
–

I think, and look, I don't know you, but you may want to consider that some part of you did mean to judge her harshly. I think you're giving yourself a bit too much credit on that front that you were a good guy who really tried and she just sucked. Cuz you keep saying things about her are fine, but clearly you don't think they're fine. Like that she likes money and is good at math, not passionate about her field or prospects. You don't actually think this is fine. You want to, but you don't. And…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/06/26 04:16 AM
–

Not in a harsh way, but it sounds to me like that girl didn't feel comfortable sharing and probably felt judged by you and inadequate. Not saying you were overtly cruel to her, but if I can pick up you didn't think very much of her, it seems likely she picked it up too. I will say very early in dating, I learned most men were not interested in my stuff and worse felt very comfortable mocking and deriding it as if anything they were into were so much better than what I was. And they do that to yo…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/06/26 04:04 AM
1

Oh, so they have time on unemployment then. We aren't instantly getting rid of people. How long would you give them? Old people do a lot of childcare tho and community service.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/06/26 02:49 AM
1

Sure, but clearly I was focused on both mild ethical benefit and tax reduction. We can also throw out anyone jobless, right?
/r/PurplePillDebate26/06/26 01:43 AM
1

That wouldn't make for a more ethical society in at least two of those cases...and assuming you embrace a semi western Canon on virtue, mercy and redemption would preclude the third. Again, I'm pro life, but I think this is a dumb argument against supporting pro choice to say "what about my unfucked penis?!"
/r/PurplePillDebate26/06/26 01:25 AM
–

I don't think it's that thought out most of the time.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/06/26 01:23 AM
0

No wukkas.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/26 10:14 PM
0

I answered that. You either bought it or you didn't. The benefit you get is you live in a more free and less unethical society and less of your tax dollars get eaten up.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/26 10:08 PM
3

They aren't in relationships and want to be? And cuz I'm their friend and this is a pretty glaring hypocrisy likely holding them back from actually finding someone which is what both want badly.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/26 10:07 PM
1

I've answered both. Different women and no, women aren't the initial advocates for inclusion in women's spaces.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/26 10:06 PM
–

Yeah, it's a lot to put on anyone. And none of it is romantic nor sexy.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/26 10:05 PM
6

I'm American, this is absolutely an American thing. I have two girlfriends that are significantly overweight. Both don't want to date overweight men. And I'm still after a year trying to figure out how to even say something about this because it is such a touchy subject.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/26 04:38 PM
1

I think everyone is born lonely, they just don't have the words for it for a very long time. And then people figure out how to cope with it and hopefully, eventually, make peace with it. And finding your person certainly does help, I won't pretend otherwise, but even in the happiest relationship, there will be times you feel disconnected or misunderstood. And you may even feel tired and like you don't want to do the work to bridge that gap.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/26 03:07 PM
3

Yes, you still saw this as something that you could do something to change. I'm glad you felt that and that it worked out for you. Sincerely. But this ain't the mindset most people who know they could find someone mediocre. I'd found good people, I was myself, etc. There wasn't something left for me to do and if you don't think what you want is likely to be out there you don't spin the wheel more. And my advice would have been live in platonic joy with your bestie and community.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/26 01:09 PM
1

Yes, but even your phrasing of fight suggests you ain't at the mindset I'm talking about. Prior to meeting my husband I thought I'd be alone and live in platonic joy with my BFF. Because I'd realized all the unappealing and barely there options that were most likely weren't real options and I did not expect to meet someone who wasn't that. And I did not see this as something that could be overcome because it was more fact of reality.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/26 12:44 PM
5

No, they are. You see a train still. They don't. I've been this person, I stopped seeing trains, I just saw further heart break, exhaustion, and time wasted I could have better spent alone. You can't change your mind in the way you're suggesting. Once you see reality you see it.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/26 12:38 PM
–

Yes.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/26 12:36 PM
4

One may consider that if you know you don't have an easy way out, growing comfortable and joyful would be a significant priority. I don't think the temporary is the true factor here, being honest. It's genuinely just a mindset difference towards connection and relationships being desirable, but not the dictator of your life. I also think you're not understanding the mindset of the person who may have a handful of unattractive options or an ok option here and there....once you've been down these …
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/26 12:34 PM
2

I was speaking of woefully unattractive ones. And women don't agree who this majority is.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/26 12:26 PM
2

Again, different camps. I didn't push for it. And, you have to admit, if it is a transwoman as original advocate for this inclusion...it wasn't women who initiated the shared space, right?
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/26 12:25 PM
1

I'm speaking on a large scale. Sure, it wouldn't matter for some minority of men either way. But for the men being held back by acting the fool and making women uncomfortable with their idolization, it would absolutely be the difference. And there's a lot more of them than even the unattractive ones. And that's to say nothing of the fact that by not having this image and entitlement to sex, well, they wouldn't be so goddamm aggressive and pushy, which pushes away more than it brings in. And, eve…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/26 04:40 AM
5

What? I'm so confused how my point is invalid. Men don't almost ever treat each other as people which makes them miserable. Men don't almost ever treat women as people which makes them miserable. Women treat women as people generally and are doing fine. (Obviously, some competition elements, but it's more subversive and managed). Women treat men as people once they've determined they're safe. So how is my point that men should treat women as people which would ironically lead to more positive ou…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/26 03:15 AM
2

Yeah, I dunno. It feels the same as like if a woman says homelessness isn't a problem because it mostly effects men the worst...completely ignoring all the tweaker hut tent cities and lack of safety cuz men bad. Like do the math, sweetheart.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/26 03:09 AM
6

Didn't famous short white king Jean Luc Picard say every link in a chain that binds someone else is a problem for every free creature. I'm paraphrasing, but, the skin in the game is the need for a moral universe. If you need better than that, it's your tax dollars. And I'm pro life, so I'm against this, but, if you believe women should have this sovereignty, then not defending it cuz ain't effecting you is a stupid argument.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/26 02:40 AM
8

I don't think men treat each other like people either, just in a different way. They treat them as competition. That's just a different way not to see someone as a person. I agree, the need to protect ourselves forces us to approach men with weariness and wariness, but, once safety is assured generally we do.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/26 02:37 AM
1

Congratulations! May you both live to see 1,000 reasons to rejoice together.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/26 02:19 AM
9

They would treat women like people, not pernicious and flakey gatekeepers of heaven who must be wined, dined, lied to, and intimidated into giving up the key. Which hilariously would likely lead to a lot more sex and relationships.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/26 01:41 AM
2

I mean, not great, I would say obviously. I think the first it was a relationship based on curiosity, and I think some of his lashing out can likely retrospectively be explained by it being obvious I wasn't very attracted to nor interested in him and that we'd just been two people who liked the same weird shit. Pretty much ditto to that for the second, except I think he was genuinely a bad person, the first wasn't. He was a decent dude, we just made zero sense together. The third I think was als…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/26 01:35 AM
–

I think most do end up dating nobody for a long time.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/26 01:25 AM
17

So, I agree women are not magical goddesses and sex is not supernatural. And I agree if men understood this, many issues would be solved. I don't agree men would gain power back in the dating market necessarily because well, that's the whole problem. The dating market isn't meant to be about power because love, companionship and good stuff like that isn't meant to be about power. And the problem isn't men being nice to women any more than there's a problem with women being nice to men. The probl…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/26 01:23 AM
–

I'm not sure what turning them on has to to do with this, honestly. The most full of shit and charming men I've met were rarely terribly attractive and most were terribly average in almost every discernable department. One may suspect that was the reason they talked so big and said all the right things. A man who is all the right things rarely has to say so and a man who is quite attractive well, the woman will do all the work for him by lying to herself. He won't have to. So no, I wouldn't reco…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/26 12:58 AM
1

My first three boyfriends fit the same mold: nerdy, book-smart, lazy, a bit full of shit, but largely incapable of anything beyond intellectual malice and light verbal abuse. I was not physically attracted to them, but stupidly assumed that may someday arrive and I was curious about dating or lonely and they were generally good friends I shared many hobbies and interests with. The only three guys who I quasi dated, but never got anywhere near official with all fit the same mold: stupid, but fun,…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/26 12:28 AM
–

Yes, especially as you age and meet a few full of shit charmers or dudes that are gonna make it big any day now.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/26 12:13 AM
1

I feel bad for anyone being strung along and deceived? I've gotten in some real arguments with lady friends for doing a softer version of this.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/06/26 07:23 PM
5

I am painting with a broad brush. My experience of gay communities is that their definition of monogamy includes way more than two people way more often than a monogamous straight couple does. I'm aware this does not apply to all. But they're bringing in thirds or fucking people together consistently at crazy rates.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/06/26 05:08 PM
2

Wouldn't the digital age make faking confidence easier than ever before? Look, I understand that there are anxious generations rising up, a loss of third spaces, and a loss of social opportunities....but there's also an ability to present an entirely fake or fake it until you make it version of yourself to the world and then all you have to do is stay quiet enough you don't dismiss this character you've pretended to play successfully. I don't think people are necessarily less confident, I think …
/r/PurplePillDebate24/06/26 05:07 PM
7

I'm not convinced they're more compatible, I'm convinced their definition of a relationship is so wildly different than a monogamous one that their dysfunction and incompatibility looks way different to the point straight people struggle to detect it instantly while I imagine someone from that community would clock it instantly.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/06/26 05:03 PM
10

In my first three months of being a teacher, a boy dropped his pants at me in school...sexual harassment is alive and well in the new generation of boys. A fellow female teacher was also dealing with an entire class of boys repeating the most unkind and inappropriate elements of Andrew Tate and Fresh and Fit and Whatever podcast talking points at her and the other girls. And I teach in one of the top districts in my state with a majority white, followed by Asian demographic. I truly cannot imagi…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/06/26 04:52 PM
1

My suspicion is that these are different women and that each of these is a nuanced and complicated topic. Personally, I don't have a problem with a father taking his daughters into a ladies room provided he's had a woman check that the coast is clear or seek permission from the other women there or had his daughters (if old enough) check that it is empty. I understand if other women don't feel this way or have had experiences that make this extremely difficult for them. I have myself. However, t…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/06/26 03:19 PM
3

As a teacher, I agree. I really think a class taught by happily married couples and psychologists would go far to helping people do better in such a tough area of life. And again, I really hope it didn't like this came off as a men bad or exclusively men bad. They're just more likely to struggle with this because their same-sex relationships generally feature more things which are corrosive to a certain sort of intimate partnership or lack for these things.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/06/26 07:14 PM
2

We may be misunderstanding each other, but the man doesn't directly because he doesn't want to seem desperate typically and for good reason. And because asking is pretty antithetical to asking. If you mean me and my husband...I do often ask directly for things I want, but I also come from a background where needing things was treated as being inconvenient and met with sighs and delays. And sometimes that still comes out in my relationship with me not wanting to be an inconvenience to the person …
/r/PurplePillDebate23/06/26 07:10 PM
1

I'm married. I found someone to reciprocate my care and consideration who is pleased with the arrangement. I'm advising from the place of someone who has experienced the inexperienced man and knows first-hand why it doesn't work out well. And once you're a certain age, you just don't want to tolerate it anymore.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/06/26 06:57 PM
2

I'm confused, what would be getting asked directly?
/r/PurplePillDebate23/06/26 06:56 PM
6

Calling attention to anything changes everything. By calling attention to it, you want attention on it. This pressures another person and typically makes them feel uncomfortable because you're asking them to manage a thing which is not theirs to manage. Why would you call a woman's attention to it if you did not want her to do something. It's like if I casually mention around my husband my windshield hasn't been rainexed in awhile. There's nothing fucking casual about that, I want him to clean i…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/06/26 05:10 PM
3

I'm so sorry that happened. I think it's super common and it sucks. I had some learning the hard way to do myself.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/06/26 05:06 PM
4

It's not when it's based on either a shared value (abstinence), is sensible (you're both young and between the ages of say 14-22), or is based on some kind of sexual trauma. Every guy I've dated except for my husband had to be taught how to be in a relationship at all. My husband (the experienced one), had to be taught how to be in one with me and not bring his bad habits from the others to ours. And to be fair, I had to stop some of my own bad habits to be with him. It's not the same as being a…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/06/26 05:04 PM
4

You can't think this seriously applies to sex. Watch: "Maybe we should have a foursome where two dudes fuck you and I watch" "No, that isn't something I want to do." "We could just give it a try". Or more on the subject: just add in the phrase - but you did it with your ex girlfriend. Don't you love me as much? The no was a full sentence. If you can't understand and appreciate that after 15 years of marriage and children, you are deeply selfish or stupid. Either way, bye bye.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/06/26 04:15 PM
11

I think mature adults are not eager for romantic connections because they recognize this is something which takes time to cultivate, represents a huge paradigm shift for life, and that this process is hard and requires a lot of compromises. They want a romantic connection with the right person at the right time in the right way. And, they recognize finding this is unlikely and that the most likely outcome is either wasting their time or heartache. They are not like a golden retriever puppy about…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/06/26 02:42 PM
8

Different women.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/06/26 12:26 PM
2

Because before that you're at most pretty to look at in an abstract impersonal way? It's like asking me why my affection for cats depends on if they're purring, rubbing all over my legs, letting me hold them and tell them what darling beauties they are...cuz before that they were any old cute stray cat looking at me that I don't know. How else would it work?
/r/PurplePillDebate23/06/26 12:24 PM
3

Cluttered counters are efficiency. I've heard it all today. And I'm like the dude, if I can't see shit I forget it. But I don't call this limitation efficiency. The entire house should appeal to both of you and you each get exclusive spaces. Why is it another way...could it be because she's doing everything and a man is goofing off in one room?
/r/PurplePillDebate23/06/26 12:20 PM
0

Yeah, different situation for sure. My husband and I really were just good friends for the first years we knew each other. I don't think either of us really thought we'd date. I thought he was hilarious, adventurous, and streetwise. He thought I was sweet, kind, and book smart. Even we we first started dating, I don't think either of us thought it would last because we came from such different life experiences. Fate is a strange place. But yeah, if he was doing that shit, I'd have sent him to th…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/06/26 04:23 AM
0

It was 8 years ago and he wasn't my husband and he was not trying to upset me, he was trying to get pain off his chest to the first kind ear he met in his entire sorry life up to that point.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/06/26 03:59 AM
11

Chaos like refusing to fuck and love broke useless men...and solutions like uhhh government mandated girlfriends? Chaos like not even being close to leading in war, rape, murder, theft, and drug abuse and solutions like uh...trying to control the other men doing those things? Chaos like leading in all areas of charity and non-profit work and solutions like actually put down murdering, war, rape, and theft a second time that's how good men are at that compared to women. It should be said twice. L…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/06/26 03:57 AM
4

So all the single mothers looking after kids men pumped out...not making that man's life possible for him to live easier? And don't even mention child support since we know how often that goes paid and we also know the mother is also financially supporting the child. Or all the harrowed wives we know work jobs while the husband is a derelict at home not even watching the children or running a house? I think you're just playing word games here, dude. Technically anyone can be fine if you lower th…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/06/26 03:53 AM
9

Would you also agree that many, if not most of the relationships where one person is holding it all together and is what keeps everything going is the woman? Cuz I can't say with maybe two exceptions, I have ever seen men be the ones who are keeping it all going. I've see men do fine without a woman, sure. But I can't say I've more than maybe twice seen men carrying the entire team to use video game lingo. And I think that's where the majority of this narrative is coming from. Which is to say...…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/06/26 03:39 AM
12

I swear women are taught to people please see hard that they can't hear the part where a man is whining you won't make yourself sexually uncomfortable, distressed, and agonized so they can get what they want. And then that they so often dare to compare it to trying food. Like, I ain't eating bugs either and I'm never eating certain things again. You're allowed to say no even if it disappoints someone else. Even if they leave.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/06/26 03:32 AM
6

The entire measure of character and morals is how you deal with bad feelings. Yeah, cuz he's not the same person and I don't want to inflict things on him he wouldn't enjoy so I can compete with a woman he broke up with. Sure. But your partner also shouldn't be stupid enough to prod for it. No, she was unloving to then use it against you. It was bad behavior. Last I checked, two wrongs doesn't make a right and we are who we choose to be, not who others invite us to be from their poor choices. No…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/06/26 03:05 AM
8

Totally. I can't imagine hearing someone say "I don't wanna do sexual thing" and thinking "but what about me?"
/r/PurplePillDebate23/06/26 02:57 AM
7

I'm not a freak. I didn't. I am the unwilling recipient of having gigantic blue eyes, a fawn-like appearance, and an understanding vibe that makes everyone tell me their secrets within minutes or hours of meeting me. And when I met my husband, he was pretty rough up and tormented with no intentions of dating anyone again for a long time. We were good friend for a year and it was like a catholic confessional. When someone "slips up" and reveals something, you get the choice how to respond and dea…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/06/26 02:25 AM
-2

My husband has told me all the shit he did with and for girls prior to me. Some of which is absolutely unhinged. And I didn't ask or pry, I was his dumping ground. I don't hold it against him ever. Not ever. Because I love him and that was the past and he was a different person. Stop making excuses for it being human to be selfish and comparative. It's also human to rise above such evil and love. Y'all gotta stop treating your weakness and demons Iike a given.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/06/26 02:12 AM
13

I think generally it comes up when dudes pressure for sex and require an explanation why their girl doesn't want to "at least try it". Not that this is a problem for me, but this is why I recommend women don't treat their holes like they're open for negotiation. No is a full sentence. I do not want to is a full sentence. You don't have to justify why you don't want any sexual experience. If he even whispers something about being adventurous or trying something once, you get up, gather your thing…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/06/26 01:56 AM
5

I don't think it's different between the genders, honestly. Red flags are red flags. At most the vocab varies. I think better advice for men is something like: Boobs and pussy aren't special, not even the ones you can touch. Not even repeatedly. It is not manly to endure the insane storms of a woman just because she's hot. It's foolish, short-sighted, and selling your peace of mind and dignity for cheaper than the devil would give you.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/06/26 01:50 AM
1

Feminism as a conceit just allows women to behave as aggressively disagreeable and selfish as an average man. The alternative path that it seems rational based on that to recommend to men is to allow them to behave just as submissively agreeable and martyred as an average woman and call it uhh Meninism? And I think successful men are already doing this to be fair...but yes, it does include opening up and talking about your feelings probably. And if you try at this for a few well more than a few …
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/26 11:48 PM
2

You're not using your brain. If they see lonely as suffering and a relationship as their only means to end it....what might they do to maintain it - be controlling, be abusive.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/26 09:58 PM
3

I think you know this positioning is not a fair one, but let's pretend otherwise. Whomst dates gang members...people who come out of that same community and don't have a problem with gang activity. It's basically a job to them. It's like me saying my husband is a supervisor. So beyond the job, there is a man, and yes, they'd rather their man was not a red flag of the stripe we have both apparently agreed is above. Now think about abusive men. No one really wants to be with them. That's why we ca…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/26 07:26 PM
2

So what I said in more words basically - a series of entirely crimson flags with no upsides? I actually hadn't even considered the one where they want you to be their unpaid therapist meant to fix their inner demons, but now that you mention it, add it to the list. I'm at 7 and I haven't even begun to scratch the surface of this.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/26 06:51 PM
2

At least initially, yes. Put it back to yourself, why would a reasonable and rational person care so much about a connection with a stranger? What is broken in such a person that they are behaving like this?
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/26 06:42 PM
–

My husband's crush that I support. She's 55 and we both just watch top chef and talk about how gorgeous she is.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/26 03:47 PM
3

This isn't difficult to understand. When I want to understand people, I ask myself a question: what's the worst reason they could have for the actions they take. (Yes, much of human wisdom is found in GoT). This is just off the top of my head: He's lovebombing so he can rape, murder, or entrap me in an abusive relationship (let's admit unlikely, but not remotely impossible). He's an insecure lunatic seeking validation in the form of a romantic relationship and will live and die on my attention o…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/26 03:38 PM
3

They weren't argumentative. They were selfish, but in an aloof and childish way. Not in a "I've noticed your needs and chosen to ignore them" way. They almost seemed to not realize I had them.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/26 02:37 PM
7

Interesting. In my experience they were spineless, low-effort, passive, effeminate, selfish, and thoughtless. I didn't necessarily encounter low agreeableness or highly manipulative behavior. Basically, we agree it suggests bad things, just not which
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/26 01:20 PM
0

Biological differences? Cultural scripts?
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/26 01:17 PM
1

You might. I wouldn't.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/26 10:52 AM
1

I'm not thinking of men who would be able to collect data of this kind. That suggests a level of abundance far higher than they are likely to get even with hard work and good boundaries. I'm thinking of the struggling dudes who may be lucky to get one or two girls interested ever.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/26 04:18 AM
1

Agreed. And I think he has a lot of good info for folks struggling with anxiety, autism, and depression. I don't disagree with the overall have boundaries and standards message by any means. Nothing to do with fucking at all. I just think the not paying especially on low cost dates is going to read as a lack of interest, lack of positive generosity, and lack of investment. I'm not saying cut your dick off and have no standards. I'm saying (before I married), I reached a point in dating where if …
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/26 03:47 AM
5

I didn't strongly disagree with anything here... At most, I can see the demand to go dutch really curbing things in certain cultures and cities because it's just that prominent. Doesn't mean I'm saying go crazy and pay for expensive shit. But buying a cup of coffee or an ice cream or a slice of pizza won't make dick cheaper and it could really be a boon for a lot of guys. And I clap and cheer for the HealthyGamerGG rec.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/26 02:52 AM
1

O.o are you new here? I don't believe this dude. If anything I'd mock and deride him. But he believes this of himself. Also, the phrase pick meisha needs to die. It sounds so stupid I want to describe it using the r word, but most of them wouldn't come up with anything so stupid.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/26 02:47 AM
5

Literally just math with mild morality attached. Say you want a bisexual baddie who wants girl banging threesomes MFF and you're the stud in the middle. But the girl you're with doesn't want that. We say find someone else. You say, yeah, but there aren't women lining up for me in the first place. Now, aside from the eye roll all onlookers feel when you say that, find someone else is the only other answer. Cuz what's the other answer, you "negotiate" this woman into accepting something she doesn'…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/26 02:45 AM
1

I'd add a third category, which is the guy who needs others (a girlfriend) in order to develop positive traits or have a reason to exhibit them. Eg, the guy who would be generous to a girlfriend, but doesn't want to for randoms
/r/PurplePillDebate22/06/26 01:18 AM
24

It's a pretty case by case basis for me and issue by issue thing? Like, of course I have sympathy for anyone struggling with genuine mental illness apparently like yourself and my best guy friend. Unfortunately, you know the answer isn't just medication, but included therapy as well. And I think often men (for a lot of very good reasons and some not so good reasons) sort of refuse to explore treatment options. And a lot of their problems would ultimately require pushing through it, although they…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/06/26 05:58 PM
7

This already exists, it's called switching your tinder to international. I'm against what you're describing because it's human trafficking with extra steps as someone else has said. I'm more interested in it if we better define what dating means. If you mean will go on upwards of say 3 dates with a dude and is not required to nor incentivized by any structure to have sex with him, then I'd at least entertain it. Especially if you're equally willing to include the same visa structure for men. And…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/06/26 04:21 PM
2

Yes, clearly I believe some people have so much weighing against them that short of a nat 20, they ain't pulling themselves up by their boot straps. That's true in every meritocracy. (You can't ignore the system that hard). This isn't a game breaking revelation. But MOST can succeed if they're willing to make a lot of sacrifices and expend a lot of effort. And to be clear, I'm not saying they should do that. It's likely not even the best option. I look at my heavily heavily autistic cousin. Coul…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/06/26 04:18 PM
-2

Dating is a meritocracy, it might be the only one left, honestly. And most people can succeed within some definition of success. I think morality is a pretty broad concept and the people who think like that heavily prioritize comfort, fitting in, and enjoyable interactions as a moral good. Basically, you are morally bad to them. But why care if you don't share their morality. Muslims think I'm morally bad and that's water off a duck.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/06/26 04:52 AM
7

You go for that. I'd never sign on and I'd tell my daughters not to and every woman who listens. Sex is way more volatile, valuable, and so forth than money. You want hookers, go buy um.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/06/26 04:25 AM
8

Then both systems are working. You're the one that wants to change things. I get it now. You want sex and to not have to even give up money. Greedy greedy.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/06/26 04:21 AM
5

That sucks, I'm sorry. It would still equate to having a bad personality, just one caused by a disability.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/06/26 04:20 AM
9

You Crack me up like there's some real threat here. 🤣 You know women have y'all over a barrel. If you'll show up and pay for dates until you fuck, waste all that time and money to get sex from someone you don't like and are deceiving so you can ghost, shame on y'all and may God have mercy on your soul. We'll survive the heartbreak just fine. I personally avoided it altogether by never putting out. I was a tar pit for fuckbois. Your little revenge fantasy is so made up. You're mad cuz you pay and…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/06/26 03:45 AM
1

Not a feminist really, but a lot don't support trans identities, a lot don't support sex workers, many feel there's too much focus on diversity or too little, many feel there needs to be more international focus or less, and many feel feminism is really just giving women permission to be as awful and selfish as men rather than actually upholding the power and beauty of womanhood. If you're asking me personally...I think the last one is right on the money
/r/PurplePillDebate21/06/26 03:29 AM
10

I do believe that. And I am not baffled by abusive partners. I think what it may hurt lonely men to understand is that even abusive shitty people can have good sides and good personalities. I mean logically it seems unlikely they go to the first date and just start swinging, right? Sounds insane. But maybe they're charming thoughtful and adoring...and then one day they start swinging. And by then the woman is hooked or terrified. If you want to know how they could improve, I mean, can you tell m…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/06/26 03:27 AM
5

I'm someone that believes in old school men's rights. But I gotta admit, I get why feminists don't hold much space for men. I have to imagine it's somewhat like being an African Child Soldier listening to say an upper middle class white kid complain that his parents are getting divorced. Except if the white kid complaining was also from generations of African Warlords that create and terrorize child soldiers. Like, some of this goes back to when you lose privilege it feels like oppression conver…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/06/26 03:22 AM
6

I forward the preference argument all the time. Yes, good. You understand. She doesn't owe you sex and you don't have to pay. Pick the women who do first date sex for a second date. Don't pick the ones who don't. Do this enough and maybe it will influence culture. (I doubt it, but, you get to try). That's all a certain sunset of women are doing here. He pays or no second date. No wukkas. We've done it enough men basically know if they want to progress things they should pay.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/06/26 03:18 AM
-1

He thinks she didn't pay financially and dollars are the only way to pay. But the reality is, a woman compromises her safety to show up, if we accept biological clocks, her time is more valuable, and men gain in reputation from dating while women lose it, even just one date is a hit to her reputation for an unknown while his increases even incrementally. Yes, a man generally paid money...but he was safe, his time is less valuable, and he got a reputation all boost... If you ask me, I'd love to p…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/06/26 03:07 AM
–

I was reporting statistics more than personal opinion. I have ideas why this plays out in reality, but, I have seen this play out in reality way more often than the opposite.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/06/26 03:03 AM
2

I think there's space between this weird marshmallow doing dates to be nice and doing them with the exclusive goal of romance or especially the exclusive goal of sex. Sure, let's call it what it is. You're paying for a lottery ticket in the form of time with a person. Like most lottery tickets, it's not going anywhere because people are just too different or not right place right time. I tend to look down on men who are unable to see beyond there narrow vision and fail to say find a friend from …
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/26 10:19 PM
6

I'm going to say something controversial: only a man could believe competence isn't moral. But it clearly is. Incompetence puts pressure on everyone else to care for you, look after you, educate you, and as an adult is almost always a result of either laziness, selfishness, or foolishness. The only people I've met that are incompetent without it coming from a moral place are children or the mentally handicapped or sometimes the physically handicapped. Now, does being incompetent make you as evil…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/26 10:12 PM
3

Too long, didn't read it all. But, this is pretty simple: respect is earned. Strangers or folks you barely know have yet to earn that respect. Thus, they've yet to earn a degree of honesty which requires someone to put themselves in peril or discomfort. The fact someone will not do this for you should not cause you lifelong anything. Silence is a no. That is all you need. You don't need a why. Why is extra. I go out of my way for friends, family. I give full honesty to them. I'm not even fully h…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/26 10:08 PM
1

Yes.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/26 04:14 AM
–

Yes, that's probably true. It's not good to be used for sex in either case.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/06/26 04:47 PM
2

I won't do it because I've done it. I think it's often (NOT ALWAYS) a soft landing into being gay, I always felt like they were more attracted to men, and I felt like they always wanted more sexual adventure and debauchery than I would. I also felt like he was more comfortable with dishonesty than I wanted because he was used to hiding a part of himself. And I was dating young. If I was dating at my current age, I would absolutely take diseases seriously given the risky attitude men have towards…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/06/26 03:31 PM
–

If she has severe autism, unmedicated bipolar, and depression, I would agree. Have you met any of these in the wild? My cousin has severe autism, he's more or less mentally retarded. Yes, it would be exploitative for a normal person to try to hit that. My best friend had unmedicated bipolar. He was a lunatic during manic episodes. He'd pierce everything on his body, buy crazy shit, and wander the streets unable to remember how to get home. Yes, anyone tapping that would be a bad person if they c…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/06/26 01:53 PM
0

I think they care slightly sooner, but I largely agree. And I think they care about proxies more than guys like a guy who has a car for example.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/06/26 04:56 AM
2

Some men care sometimes. I think it's probably extremely accurate to say young men (16 to 24) don't care very much if at all. Because they're young, dumb, and not thinking about a life partner, a mortgage or anything so bright. Obviously, not all, but I don't think this is typical. And that's fine. The only reason young women think about this at all is because of pregnancy, a consumer culture that links love with spending potential, and parental involvement being more focused on the ambition of …
/r/PurplePillDebate19/06/26 04:22 AM
–

So my husband is well endowed, and I'm gonna tell you a secret: that mf is good with his hands and the hands are vital. If he wasn't good with his hands, his downstairs kitting would not be sealing any deals. I think the reality is a lot of men aren't ready to confront the fact that their dick is unlikely to play the starring role in our complete sexual pleasure. It's great, it's good, but the design ain't all there to really drive towards wild. You being less well endowed is not what will limit…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/06/26 02:07 AM
5

I don't remember a menstrual party. I do remember being shamed constantly for having a period by males in my life. Treating it as dirty, gross, or a sign I was no longer to be treated as a rational reasonable agent...even tho unlike my brothers and father my puberty never caused aggression nor violence. But sure. We can have a party for y'all too if you think it's necessary.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/06/26 02:44 PM
16

Me and a coworker had this conversation the other day that people should sort of learn to do the best parts of autistic dating. Like if there's no spark, just say it. If you're not interested in them or what they're talking about show it or say it. Stop wasting months and months being tied up in knots trying to control things for someone you're not even sure you want.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/06/26 01:12 PM
3

I have been lonely in bed next to my husband at times when discord and chaos was very high in our relationship often for reasons not fully within the relationship. You're also assuming there's this magical 10% of guys i could connect with. My experience of reality was closer to less than 1% and there were times it was very rational to wonder if it was really 0%. And I was lonely. And the answer wasn't going to another room or just keep trying and you'll find someone eventually. I was for most of…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/06/26 12:20 PM
9

No? My suspicion, and I don't know you, is that your girlfriend felt, wrongly or rightly, that you were a stage five clinger or dysfunctional without her. And that's not healthy ultimately. If I died, God forbid, I want to think my husband will continue on and have a pleasant life. And there are times I worry for him especially socially because he doesn't water other bonds as much as he should. And I could see a discussion someday, where I figure out how to say to him that I'm over the moon for …
/r/PurplePillDebate17/06/26 04:01 AM
12

I rely on my husband. Emotionally, I need him in the sense that the thought of not having him due to death or divorce makes me want to lay under a bed just crying and waiting for the part where reality reshaped to be different. But if you asked me in like a true survival or such sense if I needed him....well no. And I am glad I can function quite fine without him and that I have him around based on deep mutual want. I've had the dude that seemed to need me and it was icky. Only pets and children…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/06/26 02:37 AM
10

If we go by laws of the jungle, that's perfectly fine. Women will simply have to begin having the men that make us unsafe done away with. And lest you think we would fail in that, it's doubtful as we would be able to rely on the help of the men we select to favor. That's what unelected men always seem to forget when they say this stuff 🙄
/r/PurplePillDebate16/06/26 06:54 PM
1

No, he doesn't. Read it again.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/06/26 06:50 PM
3

Well, I think we can safely conclude the rage over sugar babies and OF by the manosphere will be concluded after this meeting of the minds. I'm a woman, but no, I couldn't be paid for this. Yicky.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/06/26 03:38 AM
1

It's time to raise those standards, henny
/r/PurplePillDebate16/06/26 03:31 AM
2

They metabolize alcohol even worse so if you were Asian and she wasn't, you wouldn't sober up faster. Then again, you're both stupid. But if you know you could have said no, you should have.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/26 10:26 PM
2

I still think it's often under valued as a trait.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/26 04:11 PM
0

I think it's funny men think they do in most cases. But hey, why do your research when having to use your imagination would be the consequences (the horror).
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/26 04:00 PM
1

Preaching to the choir.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/26 01:19 PM
1

We are not. Being Asian would be your only possible out. She's drunk. Her initiating is irrelevant. Say no.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/26 01:19 PM
0

I'd take that sooner too.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/26 01:17 PM
0

Statistics. I don't watch.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/26 01:17 PM
3

Everyone has freedom is the balance. I don't need equal outcomes. And I know people like that. Most are fucking miserable.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/26 01:16 PM
-1

Not to me. I don't think it should be easy to find the one even for a season or a reason. It would fit my worldview. It ranged quite a bit between looks and personality.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/26 01:15 PM
2

I uh. Was not using a legal term knowingly. I was saying two people in jeopardy.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/26 01:14 PM
–

Oh chatgpt, you dirty devil you.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/26 02:28 AM
1

It has never been nice to me to be wanted by a man I did not want in return. If anything, it made me feel more lonely, more isolated, and more like I would not find love. I'm glad if you find a silver lining in it, but I'd rather 7 years between options. It would be safer, easier, and would not make me feel like I'm only attractive to men who are gross. It's almost like different people are different. And trying to go by gender is not the best division.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/26 02:26 AM
1

I think it's just a woeful lack of education and women like yourself not being forthright in their disgust to their partner. In all of my relationships the men quit porn after seeing my reaction and hearing me talk about the ages most girls begin etc. It wasn't hot or sexy anymore because I took away that. And not in a prudish I'm just not cool with sex way, but in a "this is human drugging and trafficking of children and you feed it rather than use your imagination" way. If you're not cool with…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/26 02:24 AM
13

When your thumb loves a type of video very very much, a special thing happens...
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/26 02:16 AM
8

If you're both drunk this is what we call double jeopardy which means everyone is stupid, but no one is evil unless there's some evidence of pre meditation or drugging. The caveat to this is that generally speaking men can drink more than women and also, as far as I know, metabolize it better. So if he sobered up and she didn't before the sex happened, he's got no out. There's also likely no convicting him without signs of force. If only one party has been drinking, the one that did not drink is…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/26 02:13 AM
23

It has led to more balanced romantic and social dynamics. The fact men may not have predicted this meant they could no longer exploit women's economic disadvantages in order to succeed sexually doesn't seem to be a bug, which is to say: No, I do not believe men supporting this had anything to do with their peens. I think it was the right thing to do and women were not going to let it go. There is no disagreement here. This is equality. I don't care if it doesn't feel equitable to unchosen men or…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/06/26 02:08 AM
2

I'm not a hook up girl. But I made out with some stupid choices. I need you to know from the bottom of my feet and hoo hoo that my husband is by far the hottest man I've ever dated. He's the entire top ten.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/06/26 10:28 PM
0

I feel bad for his plans being ruined and apparently my natural reaction to feeling bad for someone is to say sorry whether I caused them to feel bad or not. He'll tell me I didn't do anything either.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/06/26 02:45 AM
6

I've told my husband I was sorry about rain before interrupting his plans. I like rain, but I do not control it. And yet I say sorry for it.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/06/26 01:18 AM
–

I'm so confused. You've discovered women have social calibration...yes. I also don't swear around my parents and my grandparents I try not to even kiss my husband around out of respectfulness. Mature people know what is appropriate based on circumstances and factors.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/06/26 11:36 PM
9

As a teacher, confirming 3. Again, especially as a middle school teacher I do not believe fuck um is ever an acceptable answer.... But there's days I'm at my absolute last marble trying to figure out how some of these boys could care any less. I mean genuinely if they actually filled in random answers they'd score higher. If they wrote literally even one sentence for the paper I'd have to give them more points. Like, I have led this horse to water, I have done everything to get it to drink possi…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/06/26 04:30 AM
3

Easy example: Talking to a childhood friend that's struggling to find a man and wants to end up a SAHM. She happens to be complaining about shoveling snow for her business because of a whole situation with a landlord who has cancer. I know she's next door to a construction team and I happen to know the boss of the operation (older married fella, really nice gentleman). I'm like, go next door, look cute, bat your eyelashes and ask him if he'd have some of his guys shovel for you when it snows. He…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/06/26 03:35 AM
3

Not at all. I mean he was the first man to listen to my opinions, hear my reasoning, realize it was smart or wise, and then follow through. And the tiffs we have are when it seems like we're agreed on a course of action and then he doesn't follow through. It's also intriguing to me that the moment you heard of a man following through on what was outlined you saw it as slavery...but said you thought you'd be open to an arrangement where a woman tells you the mark and then is semi patient about yo…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/06/26 08:44 PM
3

Could be. I can't say. I married my husband in part because he was the first man to actually enact my advice and do what I wanted and relatively when I said it. And at least half of our tiffs (and they're rare) are a result of him not doing so or not in a timely fashion.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/06/26 08:39 PM
3

I think a lot of men think this and I don't think they're lying. But I think very organically they will come to resent her not wanting the "natural" or "authentic" him and expecting him to change. Thus the cruelty or the need to lie to yourself. And also, she will be impatient with this process very likely if it's not shaping up quick. It's just a bad thing. But yes, I do think some men want this in their brains. They just should be careful what they wish for and all that jazz. You're inventing …
/r/PurplePillDebate12/06/26 08:31 PM
2

I only ever tell men to date uglier girls to get a better chance at dating anyone. Unlike morons here, I do not believe behavior is skin-deep. Only desperation.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/06/26 08:15 PM
6

Women have never seen an ugly truth they can't bend if they like the guy enough. Women often want a man who acts like a man, but refuse to pay that off by acknowledging his manliness and feeding his ego. Put more bluntly, they want a peacock that ruffles out his feathers, but they absolutely refuse to go "wow, what great feathers you have" or "wow, it'd be so nice if you showed me those feathers". And this is mostly because they think it would make them somehow lesser or inferior. And it's destr…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/06/26 08:14 PM
3

We have a broad intention for our lives and journey. The initial step is to vibe and keep vibing until we figure out if this dude fits that or not. The only other approach I've seen is women with a plan on how to make any guy fit that mold with enough lying to themselves or cruelty to the man. I've been both. The correct answer is to vibe and have a final place you'd like to end up and see if that dude fits or not.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/06/26 08:12 PM
2

Most of the people I've dated had few if any girlfriends before me....they were also the least eager to please me and told me the most what I would like and what girls in general liked....and that's among the reasons why I never fucked them. If you can't make out well, why would I think you can fuck well? My husband by comparison had girlfriends before me and didn't struggle to get women interested...he was also the most concerned with what I liked or wanted...never once told me and his assumpti…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/06/26 08:10 PM
2

I'm so glad you're finally using the correct definition of hypergamy. With that said, I think as a woman who married down in social class, I may have some useful insight to offer. Note, my husband is distinctly from the lower class, while I'm distinctly from the upper middle class although, I admittedly grew up for the early years of my life lower middle class bordering on lower class. My mother was the one who got educated and pulled our family from that mess, so clearly, I have an image of the…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/06/26 12:40 PM
5

True. And when I said I wasn't gay, they'd usually laugh and apologize (I had a dramatically short haircut in college because I'd destroyed my hair with bleach and dye) and I've always loved a flannel, so they'd say they got the wrong impression. And then they'd either tuck tail and run or actually just wanna hang out and be friendly/friends because "I seemed like a cool person in class". Can you even imagine the average man noticing someone in class and liking their vibe enough to stay open to …
/r/PurplePillDebate12/06/26 02:16 AM
2

No, but I love questions like this naturally. I think it gives great insight to what someone thinks and values. Like I don't think it's an accident my husband and I are married and also both from very different angles valued the punk movement a great deal and had embraced some of the philosophy as a core element of our identity.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/26 11:59 PM
2

I wouldn't storm out necessarily, but I would know it wasn't meant to be and end it so as not to waste anyone's time. I actually waver on if I think Femme Fatales are real or something men make up to justify their own fantasies and longings. Cleopatra being an example of this tbh.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/26 11:58 PM
–

I can't say I've ever talked shit about a gal friend's appearance within our friend group. Maybe to my mother, but usually about a friend I was worried about and torn how to talk to about something. But other stuff, yeah. I dunno, once you're close enough with some folks, the relationship is kinda decided and you love each other. But that doesn't stop you being annoyed by them. It's kind of like family in that way. It's all in the family.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/26 09:52 PM
2

Wasn't Epstein on the books trafficking like....children and teenagers? I'd hardly call this women.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/26 08:18 PM
7

Spouses are humans, they're going to make mistakes, have bad days, get lazy, give themselves a break at the wrong time, etc. And they're going to nag. It's not a clear sign anyone is a bad spouse to have these kind of tiffs here and there. It's a bad sign when you think of your spouse as nagging and they think of you as someone that needs it for sure.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/26 07:01 PM
26

Why isn't he helping care for the baby? I love my husband relaxing in about 95% of circumstances. Usually, I'm right there with him because we both work and both love our home. But there are certainly times for both of us that things are being ignored that shouldn't and it's stressing someone out. Things need to be done and it'll get done eventually is an excuse for one person never doing anything. Ask me how I know (my parents marriage). If life is so stressful you're almost never helping, you …
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/26 01:58 PM
2

The terms of monogamy are complete loyalty through good times and bad. That is the vow. Guaranteed sex when you want it mostly is not in the vows. Doesn't appear. Y'all think these things are equally promised, but they aren't. You think it's implied, but it isn't. If you aren't happy with your sex life and feel that is grounds to break the marriage, divorce. Cheating isn't on the table as an allowed answer based on your promises.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/26 11:44 AM
1

The award is for going above and beyond that balls ass below hell standard by also not making anyone uncomfortable with their staring or being gross and annoying with their sexuality to the point our media doesn't make other people feel unsafe. You know, the standard men refuse to meet because it's just too hard.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/26 09:41 PM
2

This is a great quote. I gotta remember this.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/26 07:25 PM
7

I really don't need there to be some give or take here to fix a lot of problems. Alter education to offer more hands on education and physical opportunities for everyone especially at young ages. Actively encourage and incentivize men to enter teaching and other mentorship professions. Do greater research into therapeutic methods for men. Create and research shelters for homeless and mentally ill men that are capable of accounting for the greater degrees of aggression and violence men who are un…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/26 06:59 PM
1

They were probably assuming you aren't ugly. If you are, maybe lead with that as the problem. If you are ugly, your only hail mary shot is having a heart of gold, being hygienic, and treating a woman like a human. So it still wasn't the wrong answer. Dude, you know I dunked with this point, go home. If you're suddenly hot and think it's fair that the only requirement to dating is to have a heart of gold, you date a bridge troll. If you acknowledge there's more to it than that, you shouldn't sudd…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/26 06:49 PM
6

Everyone who does evil does so because of beliefs. They aren't deceived, they're making a choice ultimately.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/26 04:41 PM
10

I'm a woman and if I saw a dude even get a few sentences into this, I'd walk over and drag you away and tell him to get lost if he follows. And I'd absolutely report him for it to his university. I don't give a damn. No, he is not right. He's a bitter creep blaming a mental disability for his refusal to adapt.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/26 04:28 PM
0

I mean, if you want to be debated on this point: Why are you salty that being physically attractive is a significant component to sexual or romantic relationships? No, you are not reasonable to think that now you should sneer at all those fools who didn't want you when you were ugly. You were ugly. If you want to prove yourself better than them, you date a bridge troll with a heart of gold. Don't want to do that? EXACTLY.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/26 04:04 PM
2

Yes, it's unmet emotional needs and narrative goals they have for themselves. Eh, I'm not that prescriptive about what a romantic partner is "meant" to do. I think you can argue especially after a certain point this is unhealthy, but, I don't think it's necessarily there if it's only happening on a low level. I think you raise a valid concern about there not being a solid end-game here. I think they aren't thinking that far ahead which isn't super abnormal. I think a lot of this is subconscious …
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/26 04:02 PM
2

Thank you.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/26 01:57 PM
6

I think you're sort of onto something in the sense this space contains these two separate men and there is a seeming dissonance in an ideology that can contain both. But it is generally different men wanting different things. The man seeking the mommy is likely dealing with a parental wound or absence...mommy issues so to speak. Although he would never overtly say it, he views himself as an abandoned child in need of love and nurturing and is seeking a woman to provide that which he did not rece…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/26 12:39 PM
1

I clearly, and I mean clearly stated this was true. I said I could tell the difference even. And my experience is a lot more men are in the "for selfish reasons" camp than the "selfless reasons" camp. But yes, I agree there are a lot of guys like this.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/06/26 11:55 PM
1

I generally don't find animations sexy, I know not all women are like me, but I think this is a significant part of the problem. I'd also mention, we'd have to go searching for this niche and that's pretty different than the you almost can't avoid it of male pornography. I also think the idea female sexuality isn't suppressed is uh...well it's interesting to say the very least because that hasn't been my or almost any other woman's experience...thus the entire concept of a slut walk (which I'm n…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/06/26 11:53 PM
2

Ahh yes, the usual, so long as they're meeting low minimums of not being a rapist or a sex pest, let's pretend everything is fine. Getting a big fat nope from me. If that's control, women everywhere deserve some sort of award.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/06/26 10:32 PM
0

I never recommend the cold approach for a reason. The answer to this is to be the guy you kind of already know she likes. As in, you know she has a crush on you or likes you back. Go for the done deal. All of the problems (or at least 75%) are stemming from dudes going after women who range from absolute strangers to uncertain friends. Sure, I kind of get that. But again, your cautiousness isn't about us, and that's the problem if that makes sense. I can tell when a dude is nervous to make me fe…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/06/26 07:17 PM
2

Society gets to decide what to value is my point. It's deciding it values exploitation and thus male sexuality is what is upheld. If something else was valued like harmony, you might find male sexuality was the thing starved and female was the thing which made all the money. And this is basically the argument about patriarchal theory happening. By valuing males, maleness, and placing primarily men in positions of power, you're getting this thing which exploits basically everyone including men. I…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/06/26 04:46 PM
2

I'm asking for something shot from a female perspective, appealing to the female perspective, and not containing things that disgust the female perspective. If you're suggesting this doesn't align well with capitalism the way male porn does, good job, you figured out capitalism is a very patriarchal thing I guess? Yes, it is easy to give people things if you're willing to exploit others...but then why are men so comfortable with exploitation is another fair question, right? I think you think you…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/06/26 04:25 PM
3

I am a women, and if I thought that had existed, at least pre-marriage, I woulda been into. It does, in creepy ways that are still for men. I'd be looking for non-voyeuristic porn in which I genuinely believed those people wanted to be doing that and were not doing so for survival nor money....haven't seen that yet and I've seen some of the supposedly "romantic" porn.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/06/26 04:14 PM
2

Let's say story and context were a key factor of female sexuality....you could make porn containing these things. You'd basically just copy an erotic novel where there's lots of tense moments and longing and relationship development and then you'd do their sex scenes with people who god forbid actually want to fuck and aren't faking their attachment....but this doesn't happen...because female pleasure is still not the point under what I presume feminists would call patriarchy.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/06/26 04:03 PM
-2

It was age dependent, but based on my experience it is the most likely explanation. I'm not backwards guessing, I'm guessing forwards from my personal experience. Again, I told you that I can only go based on the person in front of me why he's struggling now. I cannot relitigate the past. That's why I said age was a factor at all. Coming to anywhere online and saying "explain my whole miserable life to me" is insanity and a sign of obsession. Because they are for him...that doesn't mean they are…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/06/26 03:59 PM
1

Oh sure, but it's the internet, they have very little to go on. They're giving their best guess based on their interactions with men. Where it's basically like: he wasn't cute to me or seemed like he had some dark shit in there I didn't wanna deal with. I think some of the inability in courtship has roots in things one could deem moral. Which is a bigger conversation, but my experience of dudes who absolutely cannot flirt and are super awkward is that they tend to be kind of neurotically self-ob…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/06/26 02:50 PM
-4

I think you seem to think I'm doing some magic trick. It's not. I give him an ocular pat down and if he's ugly in a really objective way, I know it. If he's not and he's just not for me, I assume that probably isn't it. It doesn't take much talking to a dude to detect the other stuff. Yes, again, sometimes it's just attraction. Sometimes it is moral failing. Different dudes. I've seen both and rejected both. You basically have a problem that there are different dudes and you're getting different…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/06/26 02:40 PM
4

He is!
/r/PurplePillDebate09/06/26 02:28 PM
3

It comes from a place of deep love and finding my husband precious...and also probably childhood trauma causing fear of that precious thing abandoning me. I'm not pretending otherwise. But, I also think a lot of people are probably like me. They love their romantic partner, fear losing them, and feel they must be perfect in order to keep them happy, and it's hard to be perfect and available all the time so they long for the freedom of no one needing anything.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/06/26 02:18 PM
5

It's not amoral and it's not fully moralized? It's somewhere between these two points. And we all know it. I always say life makes sense and so do people. When I meet these stable good dudes you mention, I instantly know why he's not getting me. Sometimes it is he's not my physical cup of tea. And sometimes it really is that I can sense an underlying bitterness or trauma or hatred I'm not interested in being the one to heal. Sometimes it is that he has a lifestyle with no room for me in it. Some…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/06/26 02:14 PM
8

I'm happily married, but I entirely get what they mean. You need to imagine I now have someone else (whom I love) that I have to run almost every minor and major decision, event, socialization, and thought by. And I was and am a pretty independent person by nature, it doesn't come naturally to me. It never did. I was the kid who forgot to tell mom things or thought I did or it never even occurred to me to mention and who resented all the oversight. That streak didn't suddenly disappear because I…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/06/26 02:03 PM
3

You are arguing with someone who is just thinking of their school bullies that got girls they liked and still with the binary and uncomplicated framework of a middle-high school brain. It's kind of pointless. It's also extremely likely the fact they've held onto this framework points at a form of neurodivergence which makes it incredibly difficult for them to accept people are more complicated than this binary-black & white framework. I know the bullies in our school right now, I'm an adult who …
/r/PurplePillDebate09/06/26 11:29 AM
1

Open that the goals and path in life to be more than what you would select for yourself at first choice. Yeah, I think if you fail enough or can't, time to pivot. Edit: just so you know, I don't consider this to be coping. A foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/06/26 11:45 PM
2

I think all month celebrations are stupid. So on that basis, this one is also stupid. So is pride. So is black history or white history or any history month. It's all stupid. But if those things get to be stupid and in mh face, why not this. What kind of oreos may I expect during nuclear family month? Will McDonalds have a special McFlurry?
/r/PurplePillDebate08/06/26 11:43 PM
3

I always hated cold approach. Somehow men have this magical ability to pick the day you feel your worst, look your worst, and have the most going on to try to chat you up at the grocery store or the dollar store or a book store.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/06/26 11:39 PM
1

No, but I understand why people go down that sad path and feel like it's legitimate. I began to confront that possibility before meeting my husband and was at peace with it. I found my friends treated me in the ways I wanted, my family while imperfect to the max was solid, I love animals and nature quite a bit, I had a meaningful community, and my hobbies brought me a lot of joy. Life felt like it contained many adventures to be had. So I began to think there was a good possibility I may have to…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/06/26 11:37 PM
5

Like many women, I wish this worked. I wish there's something I could wear or do that would prevent objectification, sexualization, or make the content of my character that the content of my blouse. But I've read enough literature to know men will drool over an ankle if the rest is covered. I know that I can literally be in a professional pantsuit that isn't fitted with a bare face and not be taken seriously or have the only thing complimented be my smile. Modesty does not solve this, it just co…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/06/26 06:54 PM
0

I think you keep arguing semantics with me and it's getting tiring. I'm aware you are held to contractual obligations and professionalism and have certain standards a parent could elect to ignore. You are not, however, dealing with the ultimate outcomes of who this kid grows up to be, fretting about the "am I good parent", desiring somedays not to be a parent at all, not being paid and still wrestling with needing to have a job/ financial obligations, etc. Again, I have given you full credit you…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/06/26 05:37 PM
2

NGL, I did this all the time when my husband and I were dating. I knew how to cook, and you don't want them shopping for you when you know how to cook. In return he always paid for dinner when we went out. I get it, everyone gets to decide what is and isn't appropriate outside of marriage, but I don't feel like cooking and shopping for a meal you'll both eat counts. Frankly, I knew my now husband hated grocery shopping and didn't need much so I always got his few items for him when I went.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/06/26 04:48 PM
3

No one should be given 100% unchecked power ever. Whatever else you wrote is the rambling of your inner demons.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/06/26 03:58 PM
0

I gave you credit in my post. However, I did argue you're still missing a significant aspect of this which is responsible for a lot of the suffering experienced. I believe you're doing more than parents, clearly, but they also at the end of the day are responsible for the outcomes and most parents aren't paying more than full-time live in nannies.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/06/26 03:57 PM
2

I do recommend looking for a good relationship, but you should be looking for someone you click with because they are correct a bad relationship is worse than no relationship. And no, you don't have to like being single just because it's better than hell.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/06/26 03:55 PM
1

So what you're telling me is that it varies greatly, but in every single case there is an end in sight, there are often breaks, there is generally sleeping, and sometimes there is even weekends. So the key element missing and it is a big portion of the torment here for parents (not putting down what you've done, it sounds like you've been in the trenches more than most), is that it will never end and there's no promised breaks or weekends. There's no light at the end of the tunnel.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/06/26 02:29 PM
2

Interesting. I'll have to think about that. I can't say I expected this behavior when I started teaching and yet it was there. They're kids, they're not yet sophisticated in their criminality or bad behavior. It's turned out to be true in nearly 100% of cases. The kids tell on each other like crazy and confirm things. I've yet to see a false accusation. I'm sure you do. I'm not convinced it's real is the problem. School favors those who are quiet and do their work. This so happens to come more e…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/06/26 11:22 AM
15

Most people know this. The men here who speak like this feel they will never find that someone or that if they did, she wouldn't want that. So they talk like big Ole grinches. I wouldn't argue with their feelings that this is somehow acceptable. This is just what bitterness and fear does to people
/r/PurplePillDebate08/06/26 01:48 AM
0

You know that in individual reality there is no dating market, right? Like the whole concept of one is applying like an economic or financial model of understanding to a thing which is not at all like that. There aren't pools. There are no bottlenecks. There isn't strategies. There's no onr has ice power and another has earth power. And there's no competition for entry thing. There's two individuals either picking each other or not picking each other. Or one individual saying yes and another say…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/06/26 11:15 PM
2

I wouldn't laugh. I'd tell him to leave and save himself. I'd believe approach everything as if he's telling me the truth. My inner belief is a different place than what I enact.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/06/26 10:29 PM
-1

I haven't. I'm not discriminatory in action, my inner voice and opinion I do not utter nor enact is.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/06/26 10:28 PM
0

I don't disagree. I'm more suggesting a lot of this feels like it gives too much credit and also thinks people are being prescriptive.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/06/26 10:27 PM
1

I think when you're below average, man or woman, things will be worse to very terrible for you. It is true the woman will be more desired and the men more rejected. It is not accurate to say these women are being desired in good ways that they enjoy except possibly by other women (and even that could be fairly debated). This leaves kind of a moot point ultimately. Sure, women will be invited more often to be used, abused, and dehumanized. That's not a desirable invitation. Men will receive less …
/r/PurplePillDebate07/06/26 06:25 PM
5

I think it's not that thought out, honestly. It's the stereotypes of the genders plus some real life experiences of them. I teach middle school. I believe in sex differences and I invite anyone who doesn't to come shadow me for a week. For me, that whole Louie CK joke about men fuck shit up and women are fucked up is like a daily occurrence. If you tell me a boy vandalized the bathroom and hit someone, I basically believe you without any real doubt. I have to act as if I doubt it for fairness an…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/06/26 05:08 PM
1

I'm not ignoring it, I'm saying stop depicting these struggles like this is average. It's OK to be abnormal, you'd still be someone I'd want to help. But part of what is holding this back is acting like this is something normal when anyone reading it knows that's just not true. I'm in no way assuming this is some choice made. I assume most of the men being described are neurodivergent and/or suffering from trauma. But you can't help them if they're insisting this is the norm because those aren't…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/06/26 04:58 PM
–

Everyone is the hero of their own story or the wronged victim villain, it is true.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/06/26 08:56 PM
2

And you shout like a child. And you cannot read all the times I've explained some very simply things to you....kind of like how they can't too, right? Wait has this just been you looking in the mirror and screaming the whole time? I'm not going back to Rugrats with you, it's above your level and I'm understanding that now. Wow, you're so smart and amazing, it's a total shock that you haven't succeeded in life yet with so much knowledge. It's probably all the other stupid people's fault, right?
/r/PurplePillDebate06/06/26 08:54 PM
1

It wasn't selective and you either know it or you're incapable of doing better than this. You deserve what you get from life by your own worldview...I'm sure you're happily relationshipped from all your wisdom...right?
/r/PurplePillDebate06/06/26 08:36 PM
2

And yet you have not learned the ability to imagine others complexly yet. And you are right, why should I think I have the magical cheat code to fix you. I don't. I just have the power to piss you off because I'm right, you don't know things you don't know, you're ignorant, and from that ignorance you accidentally practice both cruelty and hypocrisy. I shall leave you to all the kettles you deserve, Pot.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/06/26 08:35 PM
1

Children are abusers is basically your stance then. This is more than hard to deal with and you would know that if you'd done it.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/06/26 06:51 PM
5

If I'm pointed I'm a bitch. If I demonstrate knowledge in excess of a man I'm being a know it all or too much. If I'm angry or upset I'm menstruating or overly emotional. I'm supposed to look pretty and put together all the time. I'm supposed to absorb a man's bad behavior and I react, my reaction is the problem. I'm supposed to just forgive a man even if he's never said sorry because I know he wishes he hadn't done that and is sorry. I'm supposed to remember special events for people I do not c…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/06/26 04:49 PM
2

Answer only this: would you extend that to how I perceive adults? Am I being delusional about adults and trying to maintain their perfection? Am I being willfully ignorant to assume that not everyone is awful? Am I being willfully ignorant to assume some people are having bad days?
/r/PurplePillDebate06/06/26 04:46 PM
–

While we're keeping things to ourselves, I'd have kept an inability to identify with child characters to myself as well given that your entire argument rests on the ability to extrapolate information which is not literal. I'm a girl, kettle. There's adults and there's kids in Rugrats, the kids are archetypes much more than they are babies. The show was not for little babies, it was for elementary and middle schoolers. The children are not dealing with baby problems, they're babies dealing with a…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/06/26 04:31 PM
–

I must be so blessed I inspired a Lilith post. Either that or I really pissed you off when I clocked you for not knowing shit about what raising a kid is like and called you ignorant. Let me add to it. You're a kettle calling the pot black. I didn't have kids at 12, Lilith. My parents did when they didn't have the time to raise a baby. So I got the pleasure. And no, I didn't have any idea and most people older than me don't. When I watched Rugrats, I identified with the Rugrats because I was fuc…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/06/26 02:14 PM
–

32 & 36 married. He makes about 4,000 more than me. We share finances 100%. And I basically run them. We save for retirement, own our home, pay our bills, no debt currently. We go on vacations sometimes and do stay cations when the budget needs it. We have separate credit cards mostly because we haven't combined yet due to him liking his and me liking mine. No children yet.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/06/26 01:00 PM
1

We are extremely close and love each other very much. There are elements of raising a child so young and for so long that are a blessing. It is one of the greatest accomplishments and joys I will ever have. It also robbed me of my own childhood and young adulthood. I wouldn't change it even if I could because someone had to do it and he's worth that sacrifice to me. But calling it anything short of an enormous sacrifice grinds my gears. I won't stand by and let anyone pretend that raising kids i…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/06/26 12:31 PM
–

Yeah, I kind of figured some would say that. Which sucks because it's the evil answer. And it won't ever be acceptable to me. But. At least we tried to be open to options.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/06/26 02:51 AM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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