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PuzzleheadedWasabi77 Archive

View 0 posts and 45 comments by PuzzleheadedWasabi77 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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1

Can you define what the worst downsides are to being attractive? Speaking as a young, conventionally attractive disabled person, who has struggled to maintain a healthy weight due to chronic illness causing unhealthy weight loss, the downsides have been pretty extreme. TW: sexual assault, PTSD, birth control, medical abuse, weight, unhealthy weight loss, self-harm !Starting as a young child (age less than 10) I got a lot of attention from men in their 40s and 50s. They'd make comments about my a…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/04/26 02:34 PM
1

Can you define what the worst downsides are to being attractive? Speaking as a young, conventionally attractive disabled person, who has struggled to maintain a healthy weight due to chronic illness causing unhealthy weight loss, the downsides have been pretty extreme. TW: sexual assault, PTSD, birth control, medical abuse, weight, unhealthy weight loss, self-harm ! Starting as a young child (age less than 10) I got a lot of attention from men in their 40s and 50s. They'd make comments about my …
/r/PurplePillDebate12/04/26 02:19 PM
1

20% of women have PCOS. With thyroid issues, it's 1 in 8 women. And let's not forget that birth control also messes with hormones, and that 65% of women of reproductive age use it. Then there's the fact that pregnancy also messes with hormones for years post-birth. On average, most women experience pregnancy at least once in their lives. Hormones affecting things like weight is incredibly common. And no one is saying that 50% body fat is healthy; but odds are, with women, if their weight is high…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/04/26 11:57 AM
1

So being raped is a privilege in your opinion? You're comparing drowning to dying of thirst. Both are bad. Just because you don't have experience with both sides doesn't mean the grass is greener on the other side.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/04/26 04:49 PM
2

What is your source on that? Hormones control both metabolism and how your body distributes fat. That's why generally speaking, women have fattier thighs and chests than men - the estrogen and progesterone. Imbalances in those hormones as well as in thyroid hormones cause weight gain. Exercise or calorie restriction will not cure conditions like Hashimoto's thyroiditis.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/04/26 04:45 PM
1

To clarify, men my mom's age and older have been interested in me since I was 8. That led to various instances of sexual assault and stalking, including an attempted break-in to my apartment. That is not a privilege. My criteria for people I want to be attracted to me: people my own age (plus or minus a few years), and who enjoy things I like, such as anime. That doesn't feel like asking for a whole lot. Bonus points if they're neurodivergent like I am. If it was a purely physical relationship, …
/r/PurplePillDebate05/04/26 04:14 PM
2

I think you're forgetting to take into account how hormones affect women's weight. Hormonal imbalances can make losing weight impossible, even if you're counting calories. Birth control can do that, and so can thyroid conditions or things like PCOS (which affects ~10% of women). There's a lot of factors at play.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/04/26 03:37 PM
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You're forgetting blind people exist. As well as people with visual processing disorders. Some people take in information easier through things like audio. I am faceblind and have a way easier time recognizing people based on things like voice, demeanor, etc. and conversations give me a better feel for the people around me than their looks do.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/04/26 03:24 PM
1

I find it so bizarre that people are really thinking so much about dating from a monetary perspective. If it's a first date, I pay for myself and my partner pays for their stuff. I ask about that in advance and don't date anyone who isn't down for that. I prefer to just focus on getting to know the person without any financial pressure on either side. If they can't afford to get food from a restaurant or fast food joint, I suggest an activity date where food isn't a part of the equation. Maybe I…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/04/26 01:27 PM
2

I guess I'm coming at this from a different perspective; as a bisexual who typically dates other bisexuals, I've found that a lot of the gendered dating perspectives on this sub kind of fall apart when gender isn't a factor in attraction. If you're attracted to multiple genders, then you're not really specifically looking for anyone to fill the role of provider or nurturer or for partners who live up to specific gender norms. I'm fine if a female partner is masculine or a male partner is feminin…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/04/26 12:49 PM
2

I think you have some false impressions on how easy it is to change the female body via exercise. You can't tighten loose skin except by surgical means. Also, losing weight as a woman typically means getting stretch marks, and depending on the amount of weight and how quickly you lose, loose skin is a consequence. Not to mention, the body undergoes permanent changes after giving birth, and those changes often include more weight, more loose skin, and more stretch marks. Not to mention the fact t…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/04/26 05:46 AM
1

Perspective taking, aka the act of thinking of what it would be like to be in someone else's position, is a fairly standard exercise used for developing empathy. It is a pretty standard go-to in couple's therapy, and also a basic writing exercise used to help authors be able to write from the perspective of their characters (who obviously have different life experiences than the author). This post is a fairly typical perspective taking prompt.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/04/26 05:31 AM
1

Can you explain what the purpose of this exercise is then?
/r/PurplePillDebate05/04/26 05:22 AM
1

Here's how to get some answers: Ask yourself if a trait you find attractive is because it's something you admire in general or if it's a trait you find attractive on women because it's feminine. If it's something you find attractive because you view it as feminine, then odds are, you'll look for the opposite masculine trait. If it's a trait that you aren't attracted to based on gender, then odds are, you'd still be attracted to it when gender swapped.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/04/26 05:19 AM
1

Empathy is a learned skill, and men are capable of it. It is also a huge predictor in whether or not a marriage or other long-term relationship lasts. So, it is worth practicing, and that does mean at least trying.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/04/26 05:13 AM
2

I think you're missing the point of this exercise. Your morals and values would stay the same, unless you personally don't like the idea of being on the other side of your ideals. (Ie: if you think women should the ones cleaning, would you still think that way if it meant you had to be the one cleaning? Or do you just hate cleaning? ) Also, think about the different ways you or other men you know treat women. What do you think feels good to be on the receiving end of vs what do you think feels h…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/04/26 05:08 AM
1

Not really. Being soft spoken isn't traditionally masculine, so if someone doesn't want to be traditionally masculine, being soft spoken would be aligned with that goal.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/04/26 04:51 AM
1

The entire point of the post was to try to get men to empathize with women and women to empathize with men. Because when you can think about how things would be from the other party's perspective, then you have an easier time getting along with each other. This isn't about finding a 100% accurate answer; it's about practicing thinking about the experiences of people who are different to you so you can connect better. Any opportunity to practice this skill helps you be able gain the social skills…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/04/26 04:45 AM
4

Thank you for defining feminism from your perspective. That makes understanding where you're coming from much easier. I guess my experiences having discussions in feminist circles has been different than yours. I've found they do tend to discuss differences of anatomy and the implications of that (such as periods and access to period products, how different sexual anatomy affects how one gets off, the medical conditions one sex or another is more likely to experience, different access to contrac…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/04/26 04:31 AM
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I'm confused how your point about men and women needing each other relates at all to your following point about feminism essentially pushing them apart. What is your definition of feminism here? Because, like all ideologies, there are different schools of thought and lots of disagreement within that community itself. What kind of feminist ideals are you disagreeing with? I'm asking from the perspective of someone who agrees with some schools of feminist thought and disagrees with others. Some fo…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/04/26 03:18 AM
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I'm confused how your point about men and women needing each other relates at all to your following point about feminism essentially pushing them apart. What is your definition of feminism here? Because, like all ideologies, there are different schools of thought and lots of disagreement within that community itself. What kind of feminist ideals are you disagreeing with? I'm asking from the perspective of someone who agrees with some schools of feminist thought and disagrees with others. Some fo…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/04/26 03:17 AM
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Can you cite your source on that? I know a lot of self-proclaimed "sluts" and they have the highest body counts out of the social circles I've been in, past and present.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/11/25 03:49 AM
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I am very attracted to my fat, autistic boyfriend who is also poor. Women in these demographics tend to date men who are also in these demographics, just given it's easier to relate to people you have things in common with. Considering that autistic people tend to face similar issues with things like weight and unsteady or not-well-paid employment, you might have some luck if you look for autistic women who are similar to you. The hard part is figuring out how to meet people like you. In my pers…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/11/25 06:51 PM
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I feel like you're assuming that women with high body counts typically only sleep with men they want long-term relationships with? Often, women with high body counts just enjoy casual sex when not in a relationship.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/11/25 06:12 PM
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No, women have types. They might assume other women are into the same types of men they are, but often, what they are attracted to tends to vary a lot. Some like charm, some like intellectually stimulating conversation, some like muscles, some like squishy stomachs (very cozy to lay on), some like himbos, some like guys who are into certain hobbies, etc.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/11/25 06:03 PM
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I think it's important to remember that all autistic people struggle with understanding social norms. Many autistic women do approach men, and autistic women are much less likely to adhere to gender roles than neurotypical women. I haven't met an autistic woman who was afraid to make the first move. I've met many neurotypical women who are the opposite. I've also seen neurotypical men be very off-put by autistic women being assertive or initiating. Autistic women waiting for a man to initiate re…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/11/25 05:45 PM
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Genuinely curious: are you hitting on women who are in a much different age group than you? And what public settings are you talking about? Also, what do you tend to say to initiate these interactions?
/r/PurplePillDebate16/11/25 05:30 PM
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I think it's important to remember that it's easy to think everyone believes the things you believe. No one woman can talk for all women and any woman that says she can is projecting. Same with men.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/11/25 05:15 PM
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I think you're forgetting the fact that masking is often not successful and in itself can lead to burnout and mental health issues. Not knowing you're autistic doesn't make you normal; it just makes it so you mask heavily while you're drowning emotionally, all the while not having access to any of the supports you genuinely need. It also makes you a people-pleaser that constantly attracts abusers.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/11/25 03:47 PM
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To be fair, you're most likely to get this reaction from straight women. Bi and ace women really don't tend to care in this regard. Straight people are really shitty towards bi people in general, although they definitely do treat them differently based on the gender of the bi person. Straight men hypersexualize bi women, either assuming they'll cheat or wanting them to have threesomes, even if the bi woman said she was monogamous. Then straight women are the opposite towards bi men; they often d…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/11/25 03:40 PM
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This is a really sweeping generalization; many people regardless of gender only want partners because of what they provide (could be money, housework, sex, childcare, etc.) Similarly, many people of all genders are single but want to be in a relationship. Women get their advances rejected all the time; sometimes it's for superficial reasons and other times it's because of a lack of compatibility. Would you date any woman that asked you out? Even if you weren't attracted to her? Even if she hated…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/11/25 03:30 PM
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You're assuming those are happy, healthy relationships. The reality is that autistic women mask much more heavily from younger ages, and while that might get them more relationships, that puts them disproportionately at risk of abuse; masking typically means heavy people-pleasing and abusers actively go for people-pleasers. 90% of autistic women have experienced sexual abuse, as opposed to ~33% of neurotypical women. Being in a relationship isn't the end-all-be-all way to measure well-being. And…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/11/25 03:17 PM
1

In some ways, it's a numbers game. In other ways, it does require some strategy as well. You need to put yourself in spaces where you can socialize with people you would genuinely get along with and want to be with. Places where you'd have something in common. Once you're doing that, it's also important to develop emotional intelligence. Understanding your own emotions and being able to understand the emotions of those around you and respond appropriately. Find a therapist you click with and sta…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/07/25 10:56 PM
2

The loneliness. Lesbians already have slim pickings since the vast majority of women are straight, but in rural areas there's significantly less people in general, let alone other lesbians. Not to mention, LGBT people tend to leave the south first chance they get since the south isn't very accepting.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/07/25 09:29 PM
1

I think you're right that there is a problem here, but I don't think the cause is what you are thinking. From what you're describing, it sounds like the asymmetry is more in your behavior, not the female friend. I'd recommend that you change the energy that you put into your relationships with female friends. Really this is the case with all friendships or relationships in general, but you should only put in the energy that feels good for you to put in. If your friendship feels one-sided, then a…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/07/25 08:44 PM
1

That can happen in any kind of relationship with any gender. Shitty people exist across all demographics at equal rates. The trick is learning how to tell when someone genuinely cares about you, and that involves looking at their actions, not their words. My advice is to find examples of healthy relationships where there isn't resentment, those couples that have been together for decades and are still very much in love, or the friendships that involve the most mutual support. And just observe wh…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/07/25 08:24 PM
1

Lots of anime, cosplay, LARPing, and table top games.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/07/25 08:01 PM
1

This isn't some sort of covert game. If a woman says she wants to be friends, that doesn't mean she wants you in her back pocket. It means she enjoys you as a person and values you outside of anything based on gender or romance. How would you feel if a male friend of yours came out as gay and treated you this way? Wouldn't you feel a sense of loss for the friendship? It's the same thing.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/07/25 07:57 PM
1

Unfortunately, not all people who say they are your friends genuinely are. It's a hard lesson to learn, but friendship is built on reciprocity. If they aren't there for you during hard times or when you need support, odds are, the relationship is one-sided and they will leave when the "friendship" stops being convenient. You're worth more than just being someone's convenience - I hope you can find friendships where the other party is there for you. That can be hard to find and it often involves …
/r/PurplePillDebate20/07/25 07:51 PM
1

At the very least, it can increase your ability to understand women better and empathize with them. That kind of understanding only helps you have deeper relationships with women you are attracted to, which means better relationship outcomes. Emotional sensitivity is something a lot of women look for in their relationships, romantic or not, and being friends with them can help you develop the emotional skills necessary for successfully dating women. I will give the disclaimer that not all women …
/r/PurplePillDebate20/07/25 07:40 PM
1

I feel like this conversation has a lot to do with the differences between how women treat their friends vs how men treat their friends. With women, there does tend to be a lot of emotional intimacy in friendship, and if you've successfully stayed friends after she rejects you, she's often going to feel emotionally safer with you and might end up being more vulnerable. Women tend to become more and more emotionally vulnerable with their friends over time, especially after situations that could'v…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/07/25 07:28 PM
1

I think there's probably a lot more variety in women's responses to men they aren't attracted to than you might think. Some act like you're saying, but I've also found that a lot just don't like interacting with strangers unless they know people in common. I feel like having "stranger danger" drilled into girls when they're young really impacted a lot of millennials and Gen Zers. I am autistic, so I can't speak for everyone, but that has largely been the case for me.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/07/25 07:15 PM
1

As someone who's been in a lot of feminist spaces IRL, I wouldn't call it extinct, but I would say that it largely tends to only show up in the LGBTQIA+ community. I took some sociology and gender studies classes in college and I've seen a lot of what you're calling bourgeois feminism (aka 2nd wave feminism). It tended to be popular in students whose parents had gone to college and who wouldn't call themselves well-off but haven't exactly ever had to go without necessities either. It was definit…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/07/25 06:15 PM
1

Toxic femininity does often reinforce toxic masculinity. Men might do something associated with toxic masculinity because women in their lives shamed them for doing the healthy not-traditionally-masculine thing. My boyfriend is a domestic violence survivor, who had experienced abuse from his ex-wife, and he was also abused by his mother when he was growing up. I'm still helping him become comfortable with being vulnerable and not repressing his feelings, since he's never had a safe space to expr…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/07/25 01:40 AM
1

I'd say groomer is the best term here. With people who date 18-year-olds when they themselves are much older, there is often an element of control, since the older person knows a lot more about how to function as an adult. It tends to become the same kind of dynamic as when someone grooms someone from their mid teens. I've also found that when an adult dates someone underage, once that person comes of age, they always claim the relationship started when the younger person was 18. Granted, I will…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/07/25 12:39 AM
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