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Queen_Evergreen Archive

View 4 posts and 83 comments by Queen_Evergreen on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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6

Not in the US and we followed my husbands cultural norm- I kept my last name, kiddos have his first last name (as he has both his mothers and fathers) and mine. It’s hyphenated in Anglo documents because a relative had some dumb bureaucrat accidentally combine them into a single name (nightmare) but on European paperwork the two last names is a non issue. Everyone in the family having different last names has caused us a negligible amount of grief but in the United States or Canada I would be in…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/09/21 06:53 AM
32

Isn’t the 4 years of an engagement a mockery in and of itself? Especially within the military where forever girlfriends get nothing of nothing. Glad you bit the bullet and dumped this guy. Any money you lost on the wedding was an investment in your fabulous future 🥂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/07/21 06:56 PM
30

I feel like this is truly something that parents, particularly upper middle class parents, could easily complain about and get changed. They are paying the tuition and it’s so bizarre that even a threat of litigation would fold the rule. It would be such a weird hill to die on if they didn’t.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/03/21 04:14 PM
174

Being that you are living across the country and it’s private school- you could call and complain as a “potential” parent if you don’t want to reference your actual affiliation with the school. Get into character. Or Lightly suggest you’re from Vice News doing a story on rape culture in schools. It sounds like this rule was born out of some weird non-exclusion no bullying fever dream. Do the boys tattle take on the girls that turned them down? Talk about an emasculating set up on that end. God t…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/03/21 12:56 PM
10

Why would you ever listen to man who has never had a kid, tell you he thinks YOU should have a kid. It reminds me how in Spain before the paternal leave policy, men consistently said they wanted large families. After men started taking leave to care for said kids, overwhelming majority reported wanting 2 max.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/02/21 12:51 PM
47

Russell Wilson is a hero in my hometown. He and the whole Seahawks do a lot. I remember reading that religion featured big in their courtship and waiting and all that but who gives a fuck. He’s such a nice person.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/02/21 04:30 PM
46

A financial analyst in that salary range is barely an entry level position. He had no grad school. No accreditation for finance. It is truly the bare minimum of the financial world.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/02/21 02:08 PM
3

I am so glad you are with a better partner this time around. You absolutely deserve it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/02/21 06:26 AM
5

It’s the only thing you can control. Your choice of who to build a family with.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/02/21 06:24 AM
5

The biggest tool you have once you are married is creating space. Focusing on yourself. Taking a break from the shared space. Obviously if you get married it better be an HV partner and this should already be your instinct but it is easy to forget as time goes on. Just take the time and take the space and for gods sake have your own interests!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/02/21 06:10 AM
8

I honestly have so much trouble believing that there aren’t signs. Or something that festers and rots. Like how a man only yelled that one time but.. or, he was fine with sharing finances but... If marriage and family are a goal the further along you get the more you can vet stress scenarios and I think that’s one of the biggest tells; how does a man handle stress when it’s coming at him from all sides. Can he still get up, go to work, be happy to see you, pet the dog, load the dishwasher when y…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/02/21 06:07 AM
13

You know what though? She probably doesn’t have the “luxury”. So many women only seem to get motherhood by scraping together the bare bones of the thing. Racing against a biological clock. Marrying whoever is around. Working their ass off because the US has no maternal leave, no government support, no affordable childcare. So if the same logic they used to plan a fabulous wedding a budget can be applied to guaranteeing you won’t be one of those sad sad women who having a baby changes. It’s ridic…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/02/21 05:59 AM
42

It’s the fantasy he wish he had for himself. It’s so toxic! It’s so divorced from reality. What if you have only girls. What if one is especially gifted at doing something that doesn’t necessarily earn a lot of money but is meaningful for them? What if they have trouble learning or .... there’s so many what if’s!! I feel like the best green flags you could get would be a guy saying : “I want them to be happy” “I want to have a family that likes spending time together” “I want to be there for my …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/02/21 07:05 PM
27

It’s because being a mom is a really personal experience. Pandemic makes everything harder but like you become a mom and you’re faced with all your choices and circumstances. I couldn’t get back into the workforce like I thought I would. I felt like a failure (a common feeling across all facets of motherhood). I had to keep doing internal work and showing up for my own family with my best self. Which spoiler alert, is work. But having an HV partner was crucial. No blame. No shame. No “you-should…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/02/21 06:48 PM
96

Single motherhood sucks but it’s better than being shackled to an LVM. Also if you are a HV woman and putting your best energy towards yourself and your daughter, you will be surprised how much of a magnet you’ll become. So many men claim that kids are this big deal breaker but especially with a daughter you become a beacon of femininity. Your future is bright.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/02/21 06:33 PM
60

Settling is the worst. The thinking of someone as good enough or that they check enough boxes without really vetting them. When I first dated my husband, I saw him take a screaming child in hand and calm him with his voice and calm demeanor. It was the first indicator of “oh this is someone I could have a child with”. But I see so many women just explain away little red flags because they want to get married and have kids. Nothing seems big enough to break it off (“so he doesn’t have a good rela…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/02/21 06:21 PM
129

Maybe not the best but one of the first I remember from the fog of my terrible pickmesha days. I worked at a shitty cafe in my early college years. This guy was also on shift but only for the day from another store. His shift ended a couple hours before mine. I asked him to please get me something to eat because I was starving and handed him my only $5. He came back, dropped off a brown paper bag and left. In the bag was a soup, half a sandwich, a big piece of chocolate ... and my $5. Never saw …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/02/21 06:02 PM
82

Whenever I’ve been asked that I’ve never had a fun answer. It’s clearly an invitation to preform for them. Which is pretty bizarre. It’s like asking me what I ate for lunch then expecting a sensual description of what I’m gonna make him for lunch.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/10/20 07:33 PM
35

🤢🤮 jeeezus
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/10/20 05:10 PM
2

Good luck! Take care of the outside and the inside.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/09/20 04:56 PM
2

I’m so glad! Heal yourself 👏🏻❤️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/09/20 03:32 PM
13

Wasting my time is how I felt when I would rant about my mom and the petty injustices I felt growing up. But coming back to journaling now and just giving myself time to let that anguish out and then metaphorically burning it, is so great. It’s not journaling to keep a record or leave a map, it’s like a purge. I totally underestimating how much I needed to give that to myself. Like primal scream therapy but without the actual scream (which I don’t think I could ever let myself do)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/09/20 07:37 AM
1

I think Vice had a documentary about the word of non offending pedophiles but I didn’t get too far into it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/09/20 07:08 AM
7

This is the absolute truth. You can’t win chasing standards. They so obviously vary!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/09/20 05:31 PM
50

It gets even worse after kids! I have several western girlfriends married to Korean guys and everything was “fine” before kids with in-laws and what not. After kids, totally 180 of expectations and stress. They all feel like married single moms with crazy expectations from in-laws. Don’t do it!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/09/20 05:31 AM
19

Oh man. My Best Friend’s Wedding with Julia Roberts was a 90s trash fire. Most 90s movies actually. She’s All That. 🤮
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/08/20 02:28 PM
23

“Never stay with a man who won’t go down on you” - my dad
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/08/20 01:06 PM
5

I often felt sort of alone. Because the right kind of guy doesn’t get hooked into your personal issues. They don’t play into or amp up your angst. You are not someone to be fixed. You gotta grow into yourself and it can be done while maintaining and enjoying the right partner.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/04/20 05:30 PM
18

It feels easy. It feels like I am living my life but with a great partner. Life never feels like it’s all about him or our family. No obsession. The big differences between my HV marriage and previous LV attempts: - he likes himself. Takes care of his grooming. Has a style. Without it being obsessive. He shines his leather shoes. Takes care of his golf clubs. But he doesn’t obsess. If something is in the wash, he grabs another sweater. If Something beloved gets broken, it’s sad but quickly moved…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/04/20 12:17 PM
8

Is it possible for you to be in your nephews lives? That just breaks my heart.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/03/20 04:55 PM
17

This is a great breakdown of the difference between artist and persona/subject they inhabit. Like how David Bowie changed his persona/subject repeatedly.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/03/20 04:50 PM
26

Married to one. Relaxing. Calm confidence. There is space to focus on myself, my own hobbies/passions/interests/work without constantly obsessing over “us”. I express what I want or what I think we should do and he makes it happen or gives me a thumbs up to make it happen. He listens when I ask for something. He was really receptive to that comic about mental load and made an effort to contribute to the household systems on the houses schedule versus his schedule - unloading/loading dishwasher, …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/03/20 09:03 AM
15

You just date. If he says—. “Wait, are you seeing other guys?” You-“yes” Him- “....? Or wth?” You—“ we are not exclusive. Exclusive means you want me for the long haul.” “Nah I want you babe” “Long hauls means (whatever it means to you- ring/ you got my back forever/we are a true team/ et Him “oh” And now he knows.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/03/20 09:25 PM
13

This gets me in the feels. It’s also an important reminder for women who don’t have kids. Imagine getting into this type of push and pull with a beloved animal. That’s what it feels like with a kid. But worse because time affects kids differently than animals. So love yourself. Be a queen. Love yourself like animals love us.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/02/20 06:21 PM
24

There are so many men that I know (colleagues, friends of my husband, classmates) who i enjoy spending time around because they emit that vibe of “I got your back if shit goes down” and it’s not about what I offer, as if at some point I am no longer worthy but that they feel capable and confident in themselves to the point that they can handle conflict like you described. It’s such a beautiful quality that makes a man 10x more attractive no matter their looks or whatever.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/02/20 11:20 AM
8

Pathological pickmes have the capacity to actually go off the rails. Jody Arias anybody?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/02/20 03:44 PM
1

The podcast is called Best Friends and the episode was from October 23 2019 called “sasheer will repeat your dumb question”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/02/20 07:01 PM
3

I shameless stole the method from Sasheer Zamata from SNL. She talks about it on her podcast as a way of dealing with ridiculous people.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/02/20 06:50 AM
39

Rephrase the expectation really slowly isn’t he form of a question. “You want me to go home with you... after you bought me... one cosmo?” Then look at him squarely, raise an eyebrow and don’t break eye contact.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/02/20 03:27 PM
2

For a Kdrama I can hardly believe it! I’ll have to check it out!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/02/20 07:43 PM
5

I listened to a bbc radio version of the shows and loved the problem solving. It’s honestly inspiring whenever I get stuck and don’t want to face something.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/02/20 05:52 PM
2

Thanks I will add them to the list!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/02/20 05:51 PM
4

There’s definitely some characters that have the smarts but I never looked at GRRM and said “there is a man that gets women.”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/02/20 05:51 PM
1

I’d love a good fantasy rec. I’ve been so turned off the genre for a long time since I grew of reading my fathers favorite books which (no shade to him personally) mostly have women helping the clueless hero and/or being endlessly patient.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/02/20 05:50 PM
3

I read Minjin Lee’s Pachinko and enjoyed it. As for recs I only have my to-read list to share: Freshwater by Akwaeke Emezi and The Lost Girls of Camp Forevermore by Kim Fu.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/02/20 05:48 PM
2

I enjoyed Outlander a lot! Agree with the rape as a device though. It sometimes felt like Claire didn’t get with the program fast enough. But agree it’s a real complex take on true love as an idea.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/02/20 05:40 PM
3

I love the titles alone!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/02/20 05:38 PM
28

This is also why it’s crucial the father have a fucking job that can provide for a family. I’ve never seen a man who under-earns his wife who is the 1/100 type male OP describes. Having a csection especially makes you so vulnerable and it doesn’t matter if it isn’t in your birth plan- it can and does happen. If you can’t trust your husband to step up and take charge, it is the definition of hell.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/02/20 02:54 PM
16

Trad was my first thought
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/01/20 06:56 PM
11

Agreed
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/01/20 06:48 PM
8

Yes! I want this rec. thank you. “Why does he do that” should be sent to every women who posts on r/relationships. I want to recommend it all the time.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/01/20 01:37 PM
5

I had to go for a convention and there was another convention in the same building. It was contractors or something. Looked like everybody’s step dad talking to disinterested waitresses.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/01/20 04:58 PM
7

Thanks for the recs. The escort things reminds me of Vegas. Just anytime you are around the strip and not drunk, it’s so dark and obvious. Never felt less attracted to men as a gender.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/01/20 03:40 PM
8

This is so true in Europe.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/01/20 01:36 PM
15

Listening to the podcast Last Days of August by Jon Ronson highlights this hugely
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/01/20 08:47 AM
15

One of the things I counsel my single or dating girlfriends about is that - you can’t actually avoid what marriage is — a merging of lives. If you date for 5 years. Surprise! Your essentially married. Your lives are blended. Maybe your finances. Certainly social relationships. But guess what, you never crossed important bridges. Most women put up with bs before they get married. There’s expectations s that go overlooked when you’re “just” bf/gf. What if you need to take time off work? Are you se…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/01/20 01:07 PM
4

It feels cliche but you’re right, parental expectations matter. I feel like even if the guy believes it can work when you’re young, the expectations surface in some form or another. Especially if he has internalized how his mother expects women to act.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/01/20 12:01 PM
10

If you are dating cross culturally or cross racially with the intent to get married, I strongly suggest looking for an HVM with a similar family background. This saves a lot of problems. If your family are all doctors it will be hard merging families where everyone is can drivers. This isn’t to be snooty, it’s realistic. Things that are in common: religion, Education, political leanings, socio-economic standing, values. It takes away soooooo much drama when even if you don’t speak the same langu…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/01/20 11:01 AM
7

Female Chauvinist Pigs by Ariel Levy GuyLand by Michael Kimmel
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/01/20 01:53 PM
17

Now this is an interesting theory. The amount of similarities I saw in the Middle East and the United States religious right was astounding.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/01/20 09:31 PM
14

God r/relationship advice makes me want to barf sometimes. Like how are some of these people getting through life?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/01/20 09:20 PM
4

Love it
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/01/20 03:06 PM
3

Quality post. Excellent write up. Another quality I looked for is sincere generosity. It feels like “sharing” more than a gift. I don’t keep is much as a male acquaintance who is not generous or inclined to share.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/01/20 04:16 PM
1

I met my HVM husband at a salsa dancing class in Asia. It was him and a group of colleagues and me as the only foreigners. Then they invited me to join them and their other colleagues for burgers. My father, also an HVM met my mom at a dinner party with mutual friends. I have often thought about if hubby died how I would try and date and definitely NOT online dating.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/01/20 11:50 AM
7

That’s the worst. Getting gifts as a gesture that actually means nothing to you. Getting a gift he wants to give you not what you actually want.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/01/20 11:42 AM
2

Same!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/01/20 10:32 AM
71

Since FDS r/relationships is too painful
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/01/20 03:07 PM
7

I would agree that engineers are more marriage minded from just my own experience. Good friends. Would recommend.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/01/20 05:47 PM
2

Autocorrect. I meant independent. Left home at 18. Hubs left at 28. SIL at 30.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/12/19 07:50 PM
3

From what I know of husbands group of friends: specialized practicing lawyer (church law, insurance, tax law for a private company), consultancy (Deloitte), Repsol engineers, oil and gas with lots of travel outside of Spain and financial guys who have their own small firms. There are two country clubs in Madrid where my husbands large group of lifelong male friends went as boys and that’s how they all know each other. When I’m asking my sister in law about her boyfriend in Spain what I want to k…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/12/19 06:55 PM
1

We had neighbors at IE and it sounds a bit like their experiences with guys. Good FDS strategies saves a lot of heartache. But my guy warmed up in the seeing each other phase and then stepped up when we got engaged and I moved. Now we live abroad and move but come to Spain for vacation and holidays. I would 100% not OLD here. Ask a female friend who has brothers/cousins/coworkers/amigos de toda la vida. Speaking of which, a think a strong friend group is a good indicator when dating. All my husb…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/12/19 06:42 PM
3

Definitely not, most guys from an educated background aren’t cash wealthy and in order to maintain a certain lifestyle what I see is couples having to both work and an inherited house (or paid down payment). Plus only a douche would go over the top in Spain. There is so much good food for a great price.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/12/19 06:37 PM
20

I must chime in to give some Europe context. My hubs it a total HVM and from Spain. I’ve never paid a bill in my life with him. Neither with any of his friends, even if they are just taking me out because hubs told them he is out of town and I am lonely. It comes down a mix of character and social class. Chivalry and good machismo are alive across classes but higher class guys even if they don’t have a lot of money, would never dream of a lady paying For my sisters dating in Southern Europe, my …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/12/19 01:48 PM
5

“My pussy is not a charity” This is 🏆
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/12/19 08:02 PM
3

This is an underrated question. When you have the answer to this you will be unstoppable in your plan forward.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/12/19 01:22 PM
16

My husband is an HVM and in his early 20s he had a tight group of male friends he enjoyed, involved in school government, working hard in his career so he could earn more later on, he made time for his family and being there for holidays and sisters performances. A lot of young HMV it’s about then efforting and moving forward in all other aspects of their life while keeping you as a priority. However it’s been my anecdotal experience that men struggle to be their best partners when their career …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/12/19 04:25 AM
12

This so internalized by so many women. How many romance novels are about a girl finding the one with the first guy. Everyone’s a reluctant virgin and 23.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/12/19 04:16 AM
15

It’s ALLLLL about being a team. I’m not working now that we have a baby and he’s still says it’s “our money” and when he got a new job “we are getting a raise.” He’s never used money to make me feel lesser than. Though we do have different ways of managing money. Also, when it came time for me to get my masters he paid out of pocket and said, “education is the best investment.”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/12/19 09:20 AM
23

I’m married to an HVM and everything on here I wish I knew when I was younger. Also it reminds me to keep prioritizing myself as our family grows and life gets more hectic. It’s really easy to fall into old pickmeisha ways when family life levels up- new kid, parents ill heath etc. We all still need that 👑energy. My husband and I are from different cultures and met in a 3rd country and got married when I was quite young. The first hint I had that he was HV was when he said “I make more then you.…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/12/19 07:33 AM
4

Korean products are the way to go! Strong recommend. You’re doing great. 2020 will be even better 👑
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/12/19 11:58 AM
64

For real! It is honest to God westernized honor killing.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/12/19 04:03 AM
3

I think of marriage as a way of protecting the team effort. Look OP if you EVER want to move anywhere as a family you need to be married. Trust me the visa/immigration process is brutal enough but without being married you aren’t shit to anyone else. Also, you don’t need to be married. In some places you can be a heterosexual couple and get a civil union. Because it’s about how people treat you. Telling someone you’re married, they know how to place you. If you say “my boyfriend” it’s a differen…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/12/19 04:11 PM
10

I got married to an HVM and even though he’s from a country famous for terrible MILs mine is pretty awesome. In this country and at his social class there is standard type of wedding. Think 5 courses, 4 kinda of wine, ceremony starts at 6pm and ends 6am. Assigned seats. Photographs during cocktail instead of mingling. Black tie. Ladies, I couldn’t do that type of wedding. I cannot stay up past 2am anyway and the ones we went to felt so cookie cutter. No speeches. No traditions. No receiving line…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/12/19 06:07 AM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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