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QuiteBlurry Archive

View 2 posts and 91 comments by QuiteBlurry on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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-1

If you've had casual sex I'd assume it was because you wanted to. Unless you did it for some unhealthy reason, it must have held some value for you. It holds some value for a lot of men. If you've had casual sex, did the guy pump and dump you? If that has been your experience I'm sorry, but a number of women on this site make the case that men who honestly pursue casual sex are often worth their time. Maybe the man asking the question wants to be a man whose worth having sex with for women so in…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/05/25 03:34 AM
-1

You've never had casual sex?
/r/PurplePillDebate15/05/25 03:05 AM
-1

That's not an apt comparison. Are you saying that a man who can't have casual sex or seldom can is by definition unattractive? That no woman will want him? Because I'll say for the sake of argument that no straight man wants to be fucked in the ass by another man as a one off. I'm straight, ergo....and all that. But I don't want to have sex with a man in any scenario, casual or committed. So are you saying that a man who can't negotiate casual sex is categorically unattractive? You seem to be.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/05/25 02:54 AM
2

And I'm speaking to a hypothetical situation that will never happen. Those women were responding on a forum frequented by men who are struggling socially. They were talking to real people and I think cruelly dismissing something important to those men. So there's that.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/05/25 01:56 AM
5

I've had a few encounters that I'd call casual, but I wasn't focused on it. I can't imagine it would have been a way to might my needs if I had to relay on it to do so. Even so, N count isn't something I care about. If casual sex became easy for me I'd probably enjoy that for a while and eventually commit to someone who wanted that. Wouldn't care about her #. Some men would though. Which brings us to; If so, who are all of the “casual sex” women supposed to be with long-term if men’s preference …
/r/PurplePillDebate15/05/25 12:45 AM
2

I think women who have casual sex and enjoy it are wired for it sociosexually. I also believe they likely orgasm more easily thatn many women, either just because or due to being assertive sexually, including vetting men who will work with her. I think some men want to believe that casual sex is bad for women. Especially men who for whatever reason have had little or no sex at all, or little or no sex outside of a committed relationship. Several reasons for this. A. It's easier for women to find…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/25 02:51 PM
2

Self respect is fundamental to any kind of life satisfaction. If you trade it for, well for anything you're making a mistake.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/05/25 05:19 PM
1

Men changing en masse won't happen. It just won't. So your idea is a non starter in that sense. It is good advice for individual men to follow, though. Nothing is worth compromising your self respect. Dating someone is a crap shoot. Women portray themselves as one thing while dating, only to morph into their real selves later, just like men often do. Men run other risks, even if they're less life changing in some cases than they are for women. There's still risk. Why not take that risk on someon…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/05/25 04:31 PM
1

Maybe the man will have more self respect?
/r/PurplePillDebate12/05/25 04:16 PM
6

I agree that seems to be his agenda in most cases, though I think it's a kind of self hate. In this instance, I think he's saying something true and even worthwhile. Blind squirrel, meet nut.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/05/25 09:41 PM
35

This is essentially true.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/05/25 11:58 AM
4

I've long thought that making sex less costly for women (emotionally, physically, professionally) would benefit women and men generally.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/05/25 08:47 PM
2

Bears are the true winners in the gender wars :)
/r/PurplePillDebate07/05/25 08:38 PM
1

But then you're avoiding them more because they're conservative and you see being in the trades as a marker for that.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/05/25 08:05 PM
10

Posts like this lack nuance. Your response is appropriate for men who advocate heavy handed legal and social "solutions" to their dating woes. But it ignores men who are struggling to adjust to a changing social and dating dynamic. You seem to want to shut the discussion down before it starts. Maybe nothing can be done. Maybe nothing should be done. Maybe there's not a problem or not one on a level that it becomes a public rather than private concern. You haven't established that though. There's…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/05/25 02:47 PM
5

And there's a lot of push back against the idea that it's a problem.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/05/25 04:33 PM
–

That sounds entitled. Do you really think men should cater to women's desires?
/r/PurplePillDebate06/05/25 02:59 PM
–

I don't think the problem is with men expressing themselves it's how they express themselves. I was always taught it's not what you say it's how you say it. I agree. Men who propose radical responses to current dating dynamics or who share revenge fantasies impede any thoughtful discussion about men's dating issues. We might stumble on a solution or two that would help a few men. Or we might just be able to hear the men who are hurting but not trying to hurt anyone else. But most of the time tho…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/05/25 02:54 PM
9

You're trying too hard. Sex is fun. Romantic relationships can be incredibly gratifying. A person feeling like that's not possible is almost certain to suffer. That feeling may come from tunnel vision or depression and the solution to the problem is often to address those things first, but it damn well is a problem.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/05/25 02:31 PM
14

There's nothing to debate, except your superfluous comment that a man being sexless isn't a "problem". It can indeed be a problem for individual men, and it can be a broader societal problem if enough men are troubled by it. Neither level of problem requires women to provide a solution, and there may not be a solution but that doesn't negate that some men, and some women, suffer from being left out of a significant and highly valued aspect of life for most of us.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/05/25 01:54 PM
1

My compliments are mine to give or not. I don't get the idea that something can be not done with malice, unless someone is entitled to the thing not done.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/05/25 02:09 PM
1

Just because you make a joke doesn't mean that you are endorsing that behavior. Like most men don't make those jokes and then actually do the crime. In fact, most men don't even do crimes.. but a majority has made a joke at least once in their life. So how would that add up? What does it mean?
/r/PurplePillDebate05/05/25 01:28 PM
–

I'm not sure how much recent social changes have impacted men and their dating prospects. I think it's safe to say dating in 2025 is great for men and women who would have had an easy time 40 years ago. I think it's safe to say it's harder, more frustrating and more prolonged, for people who would have also struggled 40 years ago. Free (freer) systems tend to create more clearly defined winners and more clearly defined losers. If this is true, and if it disproportionately impacts men, then it is…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/05/25 06:46 PM
1

For anyone, but in the sense that while a man's not for you, it's not hard to imagine someone else being interested if they are more compatible.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/05/25 07:57 PM
1

No, no. You should focus on the 5.8%. It's not good that it's 5.8% though.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/05/25 06:38 PM
0

That's not that good.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/05/25 06:36 PM
1

Stupid and entertaining is what I shoot for. And along with that, maybe something that can't be precisely measured or defined. Like how and why two people click. It's more of an art than a science, and it helps to believe it can happen. Lots of women have offered a number, which I agree is a wild ass guess, but it says something about their belief about men. and the belief isn't all that horrible in almost all cases where they offered a number. So much on this site is doom and gloom. Or about di…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/05/25 06:33 PM
1

Your math skills and attention to detail are impressive. Maybe alarming.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/05/25 06:28 PM
1

Your standards, if they can be called that, are certainly your standards. Thanks for playing ;)
/r/PurplePillDebate01/05/25 06:22 PM
1

The % is a guess for any of us, but I'd tend to agree that young men often lag a bit, or more than a bit in their development. I think your take on this is on target and a sort of measured healthy optimism.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/05/25 06:19 PM
1

Am I right that some of those 80% aren't for you based on personal preferences and you wouldn't be surprised to see them in a happy relationship with a different woman?
/r/PurplePillDebate01/05/25 06:12 PM
2

I'm crushed. Thought we were a match ;)
/r/PurplePillDebate01/05/25 06:06 PM
1

Bad edit of my original post as I prepared it. I was going to say "both unsuitable and beyond salvaging or something like that. Can't edit the thread title.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/05/25 06:05 PM
2

Do you know any actual men? Women aren't all virtue, but FFS neither are men.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/05/25 04:15 PM
1

I'll take a shot. There's a sentiment among some men here that so many women find so many men repugnant that there's not use in them trying to find a partner. I don't think that's true and even if it were somewhat true I don't think it's irreversible. It would be a pretty sad commentary if true and irreversible.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/05/25 04:10 PM
3

You're not trying.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/05/25 04:04 PM
1

Then think of it in terms of your social circle. Are any men you come in contact professionally or socially just SOL? Most? Half?
/r/PurplePillDebate01/05/25 04:03 PM
–

I'm not arguing against your point, but appealing to nature arguments are almost always risky. In most species where few males mate, the competition to do so is often violent and sometimes deadly. If "nature" is your blueprint, it's not a pretty blueprint. To your point, I think men should learn to be more emotionally self sufficient and to be better companions for each other. Ironically, men who are those things are often pretty good romantic partners too, making it less likely they'll be singl…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/05/25 02:59 PM
3

I was going to say 18-20% on the left and 10% on the right so I pretty much agree.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/04/25 07:54 PM
2

Interesting thread. Interesting the way it's interesting to turn over a rock and see the nasty world we usually don't have to admit exists.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/04/25 03:13 PM
1

Basically, we need to re-shape how people talk about male sexuality. You buried your lead. But I agree with you. This one might be an inside out job for each man to tackle. As you point out, most of us think men's sexuality is at least somewhat disgusting. The leering, opportunistic to predatory type is disgusting. But healthy expressions of desire and mutually desired sex is kinda what makes the world go round. Men play an important role in that, and we ought to own it and be proud of it. If so…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/04/25 02:52 PM
1

Sex is more than a pastime, it's a fundamental drive. I don't mean to sanctify it, but there's no need to downplay it's significance either. I don't say that to imply that we aren't responsible for dealing with that drive.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/04/25 02:17 PM
1

So like a Japanese Tea Party, but more self conscious.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/04/25 02:52 AM
2

Repeatedly, but with disdain.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/04/25 02:49 AM
–

Life isn't a debate sub. It's not anonymous. It's something to experience, not analyze.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/04/25 10:39 PM
8

A man can go to every hot party in the city that night and have NO ONE talk to him or engage in any meaningful way. But he might meet someone. And if he stays home, he guarantees he won't.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/04/25 06:23 PM
2

People agreeing with you seem to accept your premise that victims always get a direct redress for their loss and that redress is of their choosing. That's not true on either count. I understand that some men imply or flat out say that's what they are entitled to, and those men could not be more wrong. But by defining the broader issue of men (and women) who can't find partners in those terms and those terms only, you invite people to say nothing can be done and leave it at that. But what's wrong…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/04/25 05:32 PM
1

Now that's a real betrayal ;)
/r/PurplePillDebate24/04/25 04:26 PM
1

The answer to your question is "no, we can't get a consesnsus". The reason? Because there isn't one.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/25 01:51 PM
3

But I still want to be crusty and you're not helping ;) Seriously though,, thanks. The guy from the UK is doing God's work, and I don't even believe. And there's something so human about people nerding out, in that "dance as if no one was looking" sort of way. I think that's all of us about something, but were mostly too cool for that particular school.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/25 04:58 PM
3

That's good to read. I'm on a bit of a roll and some good news slowing me down a bit is probably what I need.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/25 04:14 PM
4

So why aren't neurodivergent loners angry at their parents? Why are they angry at the women they want to date instead? I suspect that there's a forum somewhere for autistic adults where their parents inability or unwillingness to address their kid's issues gets balsted. And really, once you're an adult whatever shit hand you were dealt is yours to play. So neurodivergent men who are crabbing at women are 100% responsible for that behavioral moment and also for perpetuating or poorly addressing t…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/25 03:57 PM
5

Their words and judgments are still out of line. I know you're describing a possible explanation, but it seems to better fit a man owning those kinds of feelings. Admitting his assumptions, his own insecurities and how they're triggered, and so on. When a guy spews vitriol at single mothers as if their existence offends him he's being cruel or vengeful. I'm not super interested in why, though he should be.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/25 03:47 PM
1

I'm not saying you're wrong. But the care you took to gently distance poor people from their poverty as opposed to the way you described inceldom as behavior they need to change betrays your feelings about incels and bp'ers. And again, I share some of those feelings, but your OP is or is very close to the way people here talk to and about men who can't get a date that leads those men to believe they deserve to be single and in pain about it. And while I agree it often is a natural consequence of…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/25 03:37 PM
–

At first I assumed there was an element of self harm in these threads. At least subconsciously. Or a "misery love company" deal. Probably both for some men. But it dawns on me that maybe men are looking for reassurance, but they feel shame for needing it or asking for it. So when they get what could be reassuring comments, their shame kicks in to dismiss it. Harshly. In that context it makes sense that they lash out at the very person that is offering them a way to feel less shame. Shame endures…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/25 03:03 PM
2

So a man who can't get a date reading your OP might see the difference in tone that I saw and conclude that it's evidence, perhaps not text book but still evidence of someone saying (implying) that he deserves his fate. Otherwise you'd have used more neutral language to describe him like you did the working poor.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/25 02:55 PM
2

Some men are projecting their self esteem/self worth issues onto others, sure. But every day here someone says or implies that the reason men can't get dates or relationships is because they're assholes. Just like in every day life lots of people born to economic privilege and people who have overcome tough beginnings say those who aren't or haven't are lazy. And regarding your analogy, look at how you broadly described men who struggle to date vs people who struggle economically. Incel-Awkward …
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/25 02:21 PM
3

I'm sure there are women who are happy single, period. There are women aho are relatively happy single, say compared to a bad or even so-so relationship. Then I'm sure there are some women trying to convinve people they're happy. Themselve's most likely. That seems pretty normal and expected. I don't see most. I don't see 1%. Your take seems to fit an existing and unsupported narrative.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/04/25 08:19 PM
–

When someone asks "Does X matter?", the answer is almost always "Yes". But that's only part of the answer. Does X matter to everyone? No. For those it matters to does it matter a lot to some, a moderate amount to others, and a little bit to ithers still? Yes. Can the possession of other traits make X less impotant? Yes. Insisting on an absolutist belief about penis size will make you miserable or impotent or both. Why fucking do that to yourself when there's a lot of nuance on the topic, at leas…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/25 08:38 PM
–

I think you're right. There's no virtue in "virtue signaling", just grief.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/25 07:45 PM
2

My thought would be, "can't you look around and see which men (or boys) get the most attention?".
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/25 02:09 PM
6

Or women can handle what has to be an awkward and potentially dangerous situation however they want? I know it seems to be reading from women's playbook, but why can't "no" suffice? The idea of improving is also flawed. Men with any sense already know what their drawbacks are. Whay does he need a woman to confirm that? And if she dislikes something other women may like, such as a style of dress or something else that's really a matter of taste that's not universal, a man can end up "fighting the…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/04/25 02:55 PM
2

Why does a foot fetish need to be apologized for? I think the OP wants to work his question and his implied thesis that women's sexuality is "wrong" around to explaining why "good men can't get a date". Almost all the "gotchas" here track back to that argument. Maybe you see that and it's irritating but how does a foot fetish even relate?
/r/PurplePillDebate18/04/25 02:42 PM
1

I'm a man who has alway paid because I'm old and it is a tradition. At this point an outdated, sexist, and silly one. There's no logical reason for one sex to pay, and falling back on who does the asking is a bit like someone with the last name of Zubov suggesting the person whose name comes first alphbetically should pay. Maybe since asking is at least a mild emotional risk, the person who accepts an invitation should pay to balance things out.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/04/25 05:02 PM
2

Ultimately though the driving force behind our dating and marriage is based in our biology. We can't expect women and men to be on equal footing in the dating pool. Men who complain that it's too hard to get a woman are not going to change humanity with their grievances. They are simply going to exit the gene pool and leave the door open for more competent men, same as a male in any species that goes too long or cannot improve itself to find a mate. This is true and it has always been true. I'm …
/r/PurplePillDebate09/04/25 02:26 PM
1

I think your take on this is accurate, but you're talking about what women say is most important to women in deciding who to date or continue to date, vs what men believe is most important. So I agree that women are being truthful when they say it's about personality or maybe more broadly compatibility. But you gloss over the looks threshold part because it's baked into the process. It doesn't get mentioned because it's so essential to her consideration that it need not be. No attraction, no dat…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/04/25 04:42 PM
7

I think you have a point generally, but you're overstating it. But that's more about style than substance, so overall kudos for your effort here. What if men suck so much because being a man is kind of a fucked up way to exist? Given what I said above about over statement, this still seems to be the core question you need to answer. You seem to be asking someone to supply an answer, but what say you?
/r/PurplePillDebate14/03/25 02:17 PM
0

I think it's often used in a general sense, meaning men/women do or should hold their own sex accountable. Among friends, I think it may be somewhat more common for men to hold each other accountable, but I see/hear women doing this too. On this sight, there's a deplorable and embarrassing lack of accountability among men. Sometimes it seems like every other poster is Trump airing his grivances to a nodding sycophant like Johnson or Vance. With many of those grievances either outright lies or ab…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/03/25 08:35 PM
1

Especially for the guy reading some of the more ewwwwww responses.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/03/25 04:30 PM
3

Your pizza analogy is fine, and in the strictest sense men can find sexual 'sustenance" all by themselves, or by paying for it. Even if that's not what a man wants, those options = not starving= sustenance. Could it be though that while a relationship is a nice extra for you and for a decent % of women, it doesn't quite feel like that for a fair # of men? Could we tend to experience this aspect of life just differntly enough that what is a treat for you is almost a necessity for me? And with no …
/r/PurplePillDebate11/03/25 05:54 PM
2

I'm not immune to feeling a twinge of envy about this dynamic, but I think I manage that fine. To answer your question though, why is it difficult to see that a person who would like to enjoy something that's pretty much out of reach for that person, sees someone else enjoying that something, and feels envious? That's the definition of envy.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/03/25 01:58 PM
2

This claim that men love unconditionally is absurd. Nothing to debate.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/03/25 01:29 PM
1

Are you even trying to read the room? That's a shit take on the situation.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/03/25 09:47 PM
1

I wouldn't say "blame" because it can imply that someone else needs to fix your problem. But if by blame you mean identify a cause, then sure those things can be obstacles. But who can do anything about whatever may hold you back? Practically speaking, who can change or accept those drawbacks? A couple of women have said something similar about placing blame on XY and Z rather than looking inward. I think they believe that even when those things contribute to your dating issues, you can either c…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/03/25 05:41 PM
4

Hopelessness is a tough cycle to break. You sort of need to have hope in order to do the things that give you hope, if that makes sense. Some people need a little glimmer of it, but even that can be tough to come by. But all the more reason that the hopeless person needs to search hard for something to be hopeful about.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/03/25 11:10 PM
1

They’re picking the easy route that doesn’t require them to step out of their own perspective or give it any real hard thought. I agree that this sums it up. I think fear is what makes "real hard thought" so unappealing. You may; realize that more hard things need to be faced and worked through. Or worse yet realize that there's not a workable solution to the problem, at least not now. The second realization is likely untrue but I think it's the big fear.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/03/25 09:46 PM
6

I don't agree with most of what you said, and in fact I think you're doing the very thing I'm asking about. With women reading your comments in a Q4W post, can you see how your opinion that women's nature is ugly is pretty off putting?
/r/PurplePillDebate05/03/25 07:16 PM
-2

You don't need to respond, but I guess it's implied that I'm asking you to speculate. I could have been clearer. I did a quick look at your comments, and based on that (you seem pretty pragmatic) I am genuinely curious what you think.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/03/25 06:58 PM
4

I think the lashing out is counterproductive. Not like women will witness it and be turned off, but internally. So continuing to make an effort, or taking a break from the effort are more healthy ways to respond. Not easy or appealing when frustrated, but still more healthy than sinking into victim type behavior.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/03/25 06:57 PM
1

It sucks if no one you're interested in wants to date you. A lot, and I would know. But how was I a victim when that was my reality? I hated it and I felt crappy about it, but how was I a victim?
/r/PurplePillDebate05/03/25 06:17 PM
2

I think this is a worthy effort and I appreciate you putting it together. You had to know it wouldn't be an easy sell here but you seem to be staying with your argument, so kudos. To answer your question, I agree that we hear from a lot of men who believe they have a problem, want a solution, and seem unaware of their role in the problem/solution or they see it but are unwilling or maybe unable to act toward a solution, or to accept that there may be no solution they like. And so they blame wome…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/03/25 03:59 PM
–

I think the motivation of men sharing this data is self serving. They're decidedly not looking out for the interests of women, but rather for their own. Having said that, saying someone's "hopes and dreams" are tied up in metrics that can be fed into a formula seems a little much. And the calculator seems accurate enough.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/03/25 05:29 PM
1

It's real. There's no doubt about that and it's disingenuous to say otherwise. It's also used too broadly and poorly understood.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/03/25 05:41 PM
3

Why go on about men not being attractive and decent? Isn't your problem solved by just not dating? Isn't that the solution for any woman or man who finds no one appealing? Frequently announcing that no one is appealing accomplishes nothing.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/03/25 05:37 PM
1

No one "deserves" abuse or harm for making a bad choice or even a pattern of bad choices. But people who make bad choices are responsible for those choice, meaning only they can change the pattern.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/03/25 05:28 PM
25

I wonder if you weight women’s judgment of you higher vs men’s? Because it kinda sounds like that from your post. I personally do so maybe I’m projecting on you. It seems easier for me to date men because I honestly don’t really care what they think of me and am accordingly less nervous about how they will perceive me. Emotional stakes are a lot lower for me when dating men so it seems easier I suppose. I appreciate your honesty, but it seems like you either don't care for men (so why date them?…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/02/25 08:04 PM
3

It seems weird that sex is either mind blowing or it's bad. A real, satisfying sex life will almost always be made up of some misfires, some staleness at times, and some need to adapt. Loving couples who recognize this do fine sexually, and often have moments of truely amazing sex into their 50s, 60s or beyond. Working with reality is not settling, and your choice of that word and your comments in your earlier thread seem entirely designed to feed into the fears men have that they have to be the…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/02/25 02:54 PM
3

I'm sorry, but your mother seems like a gift that keeps on giving.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/02/25 10:41 PM
1

I would stay in the child's life past the age of 2 or so. The dollars and cents crap really misses the point. It's the craven deceit on her part and as a result being dragged into the situation without consenting. There ought to be legal consequences for that kind of theft, and I don't mean financial theft.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/02/25 10:39 PM
2

.....wrong thread
/r/PurplePillDebate26/02/25 05:23 PM
2

The implication is that it works in reverse, though. An unattractive but congenial and kind man will still struggle to date. And assuming he excels in that "half" of beauty, if the women he's interested in find him physically unattractive, the half he excels at has no impact on his dating life. It likely makes him a happier person and a better friend and colleague and that has value, just not much dating wise for the man I'm describing. And that's essentially true in a gender flipped example, th…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/02/25 05:05 PM
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