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R9ome Archive

View 0 posts and 25 comments by R9ome on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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7

I'm never getting married again, luckily I've found a woman that also doesn't want to get married or feel the need to have our relationship validated by government and a piece of paper
/r/Divorce_Men05/03/26 08:38 AM
1

I thought that as well, and my gf didn't want to be with someone with kids. It still has its challenges but we work through them together like a team. Hope you find the right person for you in good time.
/r/Divorce_Men05/03/26 07:16 AM
1

I'm open to it, DM me if you want. I'm in the UK though not sure if that makes a difference to you.
/r/Divorce_Men04/03/26 06:39 AM
2

I'm in the UK so no faults are basically the default here. I pretty much signed over the house to her and will keep paying for it until my kids are 21 (7 more years) because she couldn't afford it herself. It's not easy but so so worth it. Can't put a price on peace of mind and freedom.
/r/Divorce_Men03/03/26 04:10 PM
2

I know that feeling too well, when I was married I used to make sure I cleaned the house regularly so my ex wife could relax and watch her favorite shows. Instead of a little acknowledgement she'd just complain to me that I should have used the corded hoover instead of the cordless because it picked up dust better. She always had something to complain about. So I feel your pain, but kudos to you for hanging in there for your kid. I tried as long as I could.
/r/Divorce_Men03/03/26 03:40 PM
1

This is actually really smooth, I might have to do that! Also sorry to hear about your dead bedroom, I fantasized for probably 5 years on what it would be like to be out of my relationship and dating again. It didn't disappoint when i finally broke free. Despite the hit to the finances.
/r/Divorce_Men03/03/26 03:17 PM
1

Just take your time, be open minded, go on some dates. You will be fine
/r/Divorce_Men03/03/26 11:36 AM
2

Yes it's absolutely possible, I'm 41 and was married for 15 years, 3 kids. Separated in Feb 2024, got on dating apps and by March/April starting talking to a 37F with no kids and we just hit it off immediately. While there was an attraction from both sides there was no flirting or sexual talk. We had lots of similar interests so our dates were platonic around those interests. After 5 or 6 months of us talking pretty much every day just as friends, out of the blue things turned very sexual and it…
/r/Divorce_Men03/03/26 05:26 AM
3

Think you just need to have a sit down convo with her, but first work out what you really want. Do you see yourself in this marriage long term? Do you want to be with her in 5 / 10 yrs time? If the answer is yes then maybe you can try therapy or a relationship coach if she is willing. If you're no longer feeling like you want to save the marriage then start the proceedings of separation.
/r/Divorce_Men02/12/25 10:53 AM
3

No comms, can't even look at each other,it sounds like things have broken down completely. Have you made any steps to try and improve things between you two?
/r/Divorce_Men02/12/25 08:38 AM
2

I felt this one to the bone. I also have 3 kids but one from a previous relationship. Luckily I'm divorced now and it has been a year of bliss in terms of peace of mind away from her. Knowing that she can go on one of her rants and I can disengage as she's now on the other end of the phone instead of in the same room as me. Has it been hard financially? Sure. Difficult with the kids? It has. Been worth it? Absolutely! Wish I had done it sooner but everything happens when it is meant to. I had a …
/r/Divorce_Men24/11/25 11:57 PM
2

No worries man, keep your head up. All the best
/r/Divorce_Men30/10/25 05:39 PM
2

Go for it, and congrats on kicking the alcohol. That definitely will not do you any harm
/r/Divorce_Men30/10/25 05:31 PM
2

Sounds like taking a step back is not the worst thing for you to do right now. At least you can get updates from your parents which is a positive. Then hopefully you can gain access through the court system. It could be a long process but you just have to prepare mentally for it. In the meantime just do what you can to look after yourself. Gym, hike, sports whatever it is that you're into that can help clear your mind
/r/Divorce_Men30/10/25 05:23 PM
1

Are you able to keep contact with them through a friend? Family member in the interim?
/r/Divorce_Men30/10/25 05:16 PM
2

It's tough, and what you have done is just a coping mechanism. Don't beat yourself up about it. Just do your best to be the best version of you, and do what you can to get back in your kids life. In time it will happen, hang in there.
/r/Divorce_Men30/10/25 05:09 PM
2

Yea, I don't need to speak bad about my ex. Infact on the odd occasion I find myself defending her to my kids. Just a little but though. But they're teenagers now so they see for themselves exactly how she is.
/r/Divorce_Men12/04/25 10:44 PM
1

You can definitely find love at 40 with kids. I'm 40 with 3 kids, divorced early last year after 15 years of pain. And now I'm with an incredible woman who is very self aware and understanding of my situation. Is it difficult? Sure. I haven't introduced her to my kids yet and don't intend to for now. So it means we can't be together all the time or that sometimes we can't do things on certain dates if I'm with my kids at those times. But we're able to work through these things by talking and lis…
/r/Divorce_Men12/04/25 10:10 PM
3

Congrats on the win, yes it still cost but sometimes you do have to pay a price for freedom. I know I have, and while financially it hurts, to not have to deal with my toxic and negative ex every day has me living in such peace. I do feel sorry for my kids that have to deal with her on a regular basis though.
/r/Divorce_Men12/04/25 09:51 PM
1

Started dating late teens, she proposed to me, I felt flattered and obliged. Before I know it we're married with 2 kids and I'm approaching 40 and miserable af with her.
/r/Divorce_Men31/03/25 09:50 AM
10

Going through a similar situation, 40 yrs old and divorce has been finalised for about 5 months now and more than half my paycheck goes to her. She is able to take the kids places and on holidays but when they're with me I can only afford to take them for walks. I feel bad but that's just the situation at the moment. I'm working on doing things outside of my job to increase my income. It's a slow burner but I hope it pays off in the long run. Anyway, despite being super broke I have zero regrets…
/r/Divorce_Men31/03/25 06:00 AM
1

Terrible idea, would only happen in my nightmares
/r/Divorce_Men20/02/25 01:46 PM
1

I was in a similar situation to this, honestly it's very difficult. In the end I basically ended up self sabotaging the relationship until she asked me to leave. Not the recommended strategy for sure. I just tried to leave a good few times before and her tears always made me feel guilt and I ended up staying. Anyway one way or another I got out and I don't regret it at all. Yes she tried to cause issues with my friends and family but even despite that the freedom and lightness I feel has been we…
/r/Divorce_Men12/02/25 07:04 AM
5

Don't overthink it, if you things are going well then just keep going, take things slowly and enjoy the moment.
/r/Divorce_Men20/01/25 09:40 AM
1

Sounds like you already checked out, it's time to go when it gets to that stage but it really is easier said than done.
/r/Divorce_Men04/12/24 01:06 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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