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RA85373 Archive

View 4 posts and 83 comments by RA85373 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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48

At less than a year, there should be high effort! I was surprised to read that part
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/02/22 02:53 AM
22

I love that “no nest” is on this list 😂 the nest lives on 😂😂😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/09/21 05:47 PM
90

This is insane. For ladies reading this, my husband covered every single medical bill relating to pregnancy and birth. He saved in advance and when the time came for the completed bills, I paid none of it. You should accept nothing less in your relationships when you’re going through the physical pain of childbirth.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/07/21 04:53 PM
32

Omg this is so true. This guy would claim his parents are terrible, his dads an alcoholic, his mom is crazy, he’s called the cops on her, etc. yet he still has them watch his kids and he lives with them 🤡🤡🤡
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/07/21 09:15 AM
33

This is a great post. I especially like that you pointed out we have to work on this ourselves. Education, looks, career etc don’t help us level up to HVW if we don’t work on the absolute core.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/07/21 02:39 AM
30

Omg funny story about backing up your number to their new phone...I had an ex who literally called me, and claimed it was an accident while he was making sure he got my number into his new phone 😂😂 and he’s the one who broke up with me. I’m like why tf do you still need my number?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/06/21 01:08 AM
63

See how they respond when you’ve had a bad day. Not for any particular reason, but we all just sometimes have bad days - work is busy, traffic is bad, etc. I once told an ex I had a bad day like that, and instead of trying to cheer me up or just be in that feeling with me, he spun it around into how he can never make me happy and he’s just not good enough for me and blah blah when it literally wasn’t about him at all.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/06/21 08:55 PM
64

This is why I always say, if you’re a woman who does want kids. When you are considering marriage to a man, ask yourself if you’d truly feel comfortable with him raising your children if you died. It’s not a nice thought but the reality is it could happen. If you can’t confidently be okay with him raising your children solo, trusting him to only keep good people around your kids (if his family isn’t great), you don’t need to be marrying that man. If you’d be worried about your future kids or who…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/06/21 09:31 PM
29

Slug guy was blending slugs into his gf’s morning smoothie to conduct “experiments” on her. Consuming too many slugs can poison a person
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/06/21 01:08 AM
18

Oh god you do NOT want to know about slug guy 🤢
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/06/21 12:43 AM
16

I cannot understand why some women want to be with guys who don’t celebrate their success and recognize they’re a rockstar! Why wouldn’t you want a man who is proud of you and likes that quality in you?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/06/21 12:31 AM
13

Yes! In my 30s and none of my parents, siblings, friends etc would let this happen. I think they’d physically keep me from moving 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/06/21 05:39 PM
12

THIS. There is ZERO chance my husband would EVER consider asking that of me. This dude is NOT worth marrying at all.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/06/21 05:33 PM
37

I also think guys who claim women are only with them for their money aren’t actually that wealthy. I used to work in HR at a company and could see peoples 401k contributions. Yea Brad, your “gold digging” wife totally popped out three kids for your barely 200k salary and 3k of annual 401k contributions 🙄🙄🙄
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/06/21 01:50 PM
7

Yea if she wanted to do this even partially right, she’d at least have a solid prenup to go along with those separate accounts
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/06/21 03:18 PM
45

Yup. I have an old engagement ring from when the guy broke off our engagement. He temporarily asked for it back, I asked him why he wanted it back, and he said he just wanted to keep it safe. I told him I’d keep it safe and he dropped it. I still have it and don’t really intend on doing anything with it, but I certainly wasn’t going to give it back. Maybe I’ll get it remade like OP wrote into something else or just keep it in case I ever find myself needing to pawn it. Or donate it to charity. W…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/06/21 07:34 PM
39

This. Diamonds are outrageously overpriced new and ones from big box stores (like Jared) are rarely very high quality to begin with.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/06/21 07:32 PM
24

It’s NOT your fault at all. I do however think you need to contact an attorney ASAP. They will advise you on what sort of contact to have with your husband, if you can or should move out, etc. you need to get your legal ducks in a row and leave his as soon as possible.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/06/21 10:45 PM
47

I agree with you. It seems like a super tall guy dating a super short girl would be like dating a child? That could be the problem though 🤢
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/05/21 05:22 PM
26

I would also add to this, a guy who wants you to do what he does at the gym. I had an ex like that and while I enjoyed going to the gym together, I like to do my own thing there. But he wanted us to do all the same exercises etc. it was annoying and weird.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/05/21 11:07 PM
15

I completely agree with this. Similar situation, the worst ex I ever had was generally a good gym partner as well. We both took it seriously but he took it to an extreme and literally could never take a day off. Tbh though that’s the only hobby he had 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/05/21 11:05 PM
12

Hey, I’m glad you came here when you were feeling down and needed support. You have an entire community of women, and me personally, rooting for you to keep leveling up and keep moving on. I know how hard it is and how awful it feels to still be hung up on someone who you know treated you bad - it will keep getting better. Keep coming here when you need a reminder or need to stay strong - we got you!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/05/21 01:06 AM
4

Yes. I feel like if you have to convince and cajole a guy to marry you and he puts up any barriers or roadblocks to actually going through with it, you’ve got a serious problem. It should be easy, not a fight.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/05/21 07:19 PM
6

Before I had my daughter I would ask myself what I would want for my future daughter and what advice I would give her. It’s really funny how we can absolutely advise the best for a friend or younger relative and feel confident in that, but it’s much harder for us to take our own advice.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/05/21 08:25 PM
8

Omg yes! I couldn’t even read this 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/05/21 02:17 PM
16

Posting pictures of their own kids, acting like a great dad, but on a public profile. What insane person posts photos of their children on a non private account?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/05/21 11:41 PM
84

I wonder how many of them are actually honest about it though. I have a feeling most guys would just lie and say “we grew apart” or something dumb
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/05/21 08:44 PM
45

Omg yes. Postpartum recovery is seriously so telling of a decent guy. We did not resume adult activities until about 13 weeks PP and my husband had ZERO issues with it and only wanted to resume when I was comfortable. He also checked in numerous times along the way to make sure I was doing okay and he was being careful. Do NOT settle for any type of pressuring.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/05/21 07:51 PM
125

Yes! People forget that. If you execute the prenup too close to the wedding it can be invalidated.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/05/21 07:44 PM
114

How can she possibly be cool with being the person mainly responsible for future kids while also having a full time job? I have a full time job with a kid but it’s precisely because I am NOT solely responsible for the kid 🤦🏻‍♀️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/05/21 07:43 PM
11

Honestly I think so much of it is luck. My HVM husband and I met really young when I had like no qualifications for dating. We both had a lot of growing up to do and quite frankly it’s just the luck of the draw he ended up being great.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/05/21 06:57 PM
16

Lol Jana Kramer?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/05/21 04:31 PM
7

Yayyy! That sounds like a great day!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/05/21 07:05 PM
23

Yes yes yes! They need to work their own crap out before they continue hurting other people. That’s what a grown man would do. People who hurts others and blame it on some past trauma are the worst. Own your shit and do the work to heal.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/05/21 03:34 PM
187

This is disgusting to watch. But I want to jump on top comment to remind all the ladies that yes, this is abuse, but this isn’t the only way abuse looks. If your relationship is like this, leave. But it doesn’t always involve screaming and swearing. It can be quiet and it can be manipulative. I just don’t want anyone to watch this and think their situation isn’t THIS BAD so it’s fine - it can still be BAD without this.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/05/21 01:41 AM
8

Thank you! And way to be strong for your kiddos queen!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/05/21 02:26 AM
13

Yessss. Raising children is SO hard.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/05/21 10:48 PM
7

First time mom!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/05/21 10:37 PM
35

I think this is important to highlight. Abusive men look to lock you down. It’s sooo easy to get caught up in a romance with a guy who wants to marry you and “can’t wait to have babies with you” - but that is NOT always a good sign. Just as you said, they may be looking to lock you down to escalate.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/05/21 09:48 PM
52

I think that’s the way to go. This is NOT for someone who’s like, eh I might like having kids. I’d only recommend it to those who are extremely enthusiastic about being a parent.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/05/21 08:53 PM
51

How helpful they are honestly. Do they do their fair share and more. Are they pressuring you for intimacy? I’m 12 weeks PP and my husband has barely even mentioned sex. Just that we can get back to it when I feel ready and whenever I’m comfortable.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/05/21 08:52 PM
51

Honestly I totally agree. I put a lot of analytical thought behind it too, thought I was well prepared, and honestly absolutely nothing can truly prepare you for it 😂 it’s a wild ride and I couldn’t imagine doing it with some worthless guy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/05/21 08:20 PM
18

Hahaha yes! Too much time on the pregnancy sub 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/05/21 08:20 PM
38

Yes! And honestly I think that would be better than dealing with a LVM who just made things harder and took up space.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/05/21 08:03 PM
93

You are totally correct. That’s why I think it’s always important to have a backup plan. I have an extremely supportive family and plenty of my own wealth (protected by a prenup). I’ve made it exceptionally clear to my husband that I WILL leave if he ever were to become abusive or even come close to it. I knew this going into pregnancy as well.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/05/21 08:02 PM
49

First time mom, so sorry I didn’t specify!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/05/21 07:58 PM
11

Generally 50/50 since we make basically the same amount of money. He probably pays for a bit more. We just trade off on purchases like weekly grocery trip, dinners out, buying diapers, etc. this is all because it’s how I want it btw - I’m just not comfortable combining. The biggest takeaway is that he’s fine with this arrangement because it’s what I want and it’s what makes ME comfortable. That’s what we should all be looking for. Your way also works if that’s what will make you most comfortable…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/04/21 10:23 PM
14

How is that not painful?!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/04/21 10:14 PM
68

I’m jumping on the top thread to remind everyone: if you have your own wealth, do NOT get married without a prenup, do NOT combine finances EVER, and do NOT marry a guy who throws a stink about signing a prenup or pressures you to combine finances 🚩🚩🚩. It isn’t worth it and there ARE men who are fine with this arrangement (how my husband and I operate - we even have a child and STILL haven’t and won’t combine finances).
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/04/21 10:08 PM
54

I literally despise when they’re like “thank you fir being there for me” or thank you for loving me or some other crap. Like save it bro, it’s too late for that. They’re trying to suck you back in.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/03/21 10:47 PM
8

I watched - this was so cringey. Sis does not look okay!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/03/21 10:20 PM
7

One of my all time faves! I had this hanging on my wall in my college dorm room - I’d look at it every day.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/03/21 09:11 PM
19

This is the key question. What is it that YOU need in a relationship? It sounds like OP needs romantic gestures and that’s fair. I need someone to give me space and time to focus on a career that often takes priority OVER them. But I recognized that’s what I needed and found that in a partner. Someone else might need someone who shares their hobbies, etc. the whole point is to not settle for a guy who ISN’T meeting your most important requirements, whatever that is to you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/02/21 06:44 PM
84

That whole relationship is weird - I don’t like Christina, but Tarek basically just found a carbon copy of Christina to replace her with and this lady is all about it 🤷🏻‍♀️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/02/21 05:04 PM
7

Ohhh this is a good point too, I didn’t think of that. Not to be discriminatory against anyone with health or other issues...but if a guy has already fathered children born with genetic issues or has a genetic issue himself/mental health problem/etc, it requires even MORE consideration and vetting.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/02/21 04:14 PM
12

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. If you can’t imagine the man being a great father and taking care of your kids if you DIE; if you’d be worried about them and don’t trust that he could handle raising them alone how you would want; you have NO business even thinking about having children with that man.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/02/21 02:07 PM
22

Lol no. I picked out my own engagement ring and literally told my boyfriend at the time what to buy because I was very very specific, but he paid for the whole thing and it was more than $1k. I’m fine with having some control in the process, it doesn’t need to be a fairytale movie where he surprises you, but do NOT pay for you own ring 🤦🏻‍♀️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/02/21 02:44 PM
64

Yes. I will freely admit that I did this. My boyfriend at the time and I bought a house together in an area where the real estate market was taking off (it really did end up being the last good time to buy). Things worked out fine and we are now married and have a child on the way, but looking back it was SO STUPID. I would never ever recommend to any of my friends they do what we did - especially since I put up all the cash for the down payment. I trusted him completely (part of the reason we a…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/02/21 10:22 PM
24

“A wolf in sheep’s clothing” the absolute TRUTH.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/02/21 06:55 PM
515

“You deserve better than me” I’m a horrible person who will definitely hurt you but I like to play the victim and want you to coddle me and tell me how great I am.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/02/21 02:48 PM
15

Yep. And it’s worth repeating even though we say it all the time - get a prenup if you have assets to protect. If a guy won’t sign a prenup or tries to manipulate you saying a prenup means you don’t want to truly join as one family, don’t love him, etc - RUN AWAY.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/01/21 03:30 PM
183

A guy once told me if I wanted a successful husband and family life, I’d need to learn to put my career in the backseat 🤮🤮🤮 jokes on him, I’m now married to someone who could not be more supportive of every long day I have to work and every trip I travel for (pre covid)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/01/21 02:42 PM
32

I loved this book, but I agree. If you’re at a point where you need to read books like this, articles on the internet, etc to figure out what’s happening in your own relationship, it’s time to go.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/01/21 02:20 PM
7

I think it’s only okay if you start dating really young and are both below like 21 - no one needs to be getting married that young.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/01/21 09:00 PM
7

Yes! And it needs to be said again - just because a man is wealthy or has a high paying job and he pays for everything, does NOT make him a HVM.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/01/21 08:52 PM
111

Pre FDS me totally fell for this and was all, no you’re great, I love you so much 🤢 He was terrible and I could and did do a whole lot better 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/01/21 02:52 PM
16

This is a great idea and is often recommended by therapists. It’s especially helpful because the further away we get from an incident, we tend to look back on it as “not that bad.” It’s important you keep that record for yourself so you can see it really was that bad and it really did hurt you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/01/21 02:43 PM
24

I think it depends on time of day too. If this guy has an office job and he’s not quick on replying during the day, then great! He’s focused at work! I often take several hours to reply to daytime texts because I’m literally in meetings all day. If he can’t make any time to reply an entire evening, I’d be more wary.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/01/21 11:56 PM
36

Yea she shouldn’t feel bad about that. If you’re at the point where you want/feel the need to look through your partners phone, your intuition probably isn’t wrong and you’re probably going to find something. I did this one singular time, after I knew an ex was texting his ex, after he promised he cut off contact, and found her talking about their sex life 🙄 shocker
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/01/21 12:55 PM
20

Yes, the children thing! On any social media. My NVM ex created an Instagram after we broke up that he now has fully public, no privacy settings, and posts multiple pictures of his three kids constantly. I think he’s trying to portray dad of the year, but I’d NEVER want my kids pictures publicly available to anyone on the internet!!! So scary.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/01/21 02:47 PM
23

I think this is the biggest one. FDS helped me finally leave a terrible and borderline emotionally abusive relationship, but it also required me to look at the relationship and admit that I was wrong about who I thought he was, what I thought we were, and that I’d made some poor choices that led me there. It can be uncomfortable and a lot of people don’t like admitting their mistakes.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/01/21 12:03 AM
3

So that is exactly what we do - we use the same large national bank, and just send funds to each other that way. Extraneous bills like cable and internet are in his name, he pays for them which is nice, I hate dealing with it. He usually pays for dinners out, I usually pay for groceries since I like doing the shopping. We’re about to have our first child, and I imagine we’ll just continue this way. Whoever is out and about and can pick up a pack of diapers, etc. I do however save a good chuck ea…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/01/21 03:47 PM
40

I agree, I will NEVER have sizable joint accounts with my husband and he is fine with that. People might think it’s silly that I Venmo my portion of the mortgage (we own our house together jointly and make equivalent wages and do pay 50/50 on that) but I could never combine retirement accounts with someone else. Maybe I’m controlling, but I want full transparency and control over my money. All credit cards, savings, investment accounts - EVERYTHING is separate, particularly since I have higher s…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/01/21 12:31 AM
25

What a kind comment, thank you for saying that 😊 you’re correct, I do have a lot of love to give!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/01/21 04:53 PM
13

What a great list! I wish I’d made one way back in the day! Keep up the good work!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/01/21 04:49 PM
21

All the hoovers are terrible and I’m glad we’re spreading the word about what it is to this group - had I known a long time ago what a hoover was and why it happens, I would have saved myself a lot of pain. Some guys also do it more subtle then even texting you I think. I have my NVM ex blocked on Instagram, and happened to look at my blocked list to see if his account was still even active (he had a habit of creating and deleting accounts every time I blocked them). Anyways, it was still there …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/01/21 03:30 PM
65

Same, and I once spent an entire day googling and creating a document of all the ways we could “fix our relationship” and how we got where we were, that of course he didn’t care about. Man that was embarrassing 😬
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/01/21 03:08 PM
22

Due to Covid and being pregnant, I’m avoiding the gym. There is SO MUCH you can do with a few pairs of dumbbells, some resistance bands, and one plyo box in about 10 square feet of room, or a corner of your living room. No need for an expensive gym membership or equipment. I use IT cosmetics confidence in a moisturizer and confidence in a night cream, along with eye cream religiously - their products moisturize well for me without breaking me out. With working from home I avoid heavy makeup and …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/01/21 04:35 PM
85

Buying ourselves jewelry doesn’t also preclude a HVM from buying us some. My SO got me a lovely diamond band for Christmas to go with my wedding ring. A few months ago I bought myself some diamond earrings. Anyone who loves you (including yourself!) can buy nice jewelry! Jeez.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/01/21 10:15 PM
13

Yesss! Good for you. So glad you recognized that for what it was - him trying to take away from your success. I had this happen to me pre FDS and at the time I didn’t recognize it. But this guy would conveniently pick fights and be pouty every single time I had something major going on (passing a certification test for my career, big important meeting at work, etc). I look back now and it’s SUCH an obvious tactic we all need to be aware of.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/12/20 03:21 PM
19

Don’t EVER feel bad about that! I LOVE buying myself fine jewelry - I have a few pairs of diamond studs and some diamond/sapphire rings I got myself. I work hard, I like nice jewelry, why wouldn’t I buy it for myself?!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/12/20 03:41 PM
14

The TRUTH
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/12/20 02:39 AM
18

A vintage record signed by his favorite artist. He got me a candle 😂😂😂 I cringe so hard.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/12/20 04:00 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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