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View 2 posts and 33 comments by R_u_k_u_s on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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Upvotes Title Category Author Subreddit Date (UTC)
6

R_u_k_u_s/r/Divorce_Men25/08/24 07:55 PM
5

R_u_k_u_s/r/Divorce_Men03/06/24 05:00 PM
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
2

You’re right. Years of careers and kids took a toll on my marriage. She became distant and I felt unappreciated. I used to say that she treated me like “the help.” Nothing could get us back to the way we were at the beginning. It feels good to be appreciated now. But I’m proceeding with caution. I don’t want to feel like I did towards the end of my marriage ever again.
/r/Divorce_Men14/04/26 12:38 AM
6

Absolutely. Theres more to it than just looks, but I’ve definitely upgraded. And my gf actually likes me and appreciates what I bring to the table. After feeling so unnoticed in my marriage, it feels amazing.
/r/Divorce_Men13/04/26 11:21 AM
7

I can’t quite say that it’s the best thing that ever happened to me. But it gets better. I’m 2.5 years out and I feel great. I’m in better shape than i was when I was married. I have more friends than I ever did when married. (And they are MY friends.) I like my apartment because it’s MY PLACE. My kids went through a rough patch, but they are doing well now. And I have a great relationship with them. (My ex, on the other hand, is steadily burning her relationships with each of them.) I’m enjoyin…
/r/Divorce_Men16/03/26 09:41 PM
4

About Time is a fantastic movie. But it’s fiction. It takes two to stay married. If she’s out, she’s out. It’s easy to say, but it’s true: The best thing you can do is try to be a better version of yourself tomorrow. But try to not be too hard on yourself. I felt the same way you do two years ago. It gets better.
/r/Divorce_Men16/03/26 09:29 PM
1

I just thought I’d circle back to this thread to give some of you guys hope. One year after I wrote this, my daughter is moving into my place tonight. She is going to split time between me and my ex, but it feels so good to have her back. Her mother used her as an “emotional support animal” (her words), and it backfired. They currently have a rocky relationship, and my relationship with my daughter (now 17) is 100000% better. I stayed steady, reliable. Didn’t openly fight with her mother, and to…
/r/Divorce_Men16/01/26 03:45 AM
12

I found a pregnancy test. I had a vasectomy 12 years before. That was the beginning of the end of my marriage. I’m sorry, man. Wish there was better news.
/r/Divorce_Men16/01/26 03:37 AM
8

Both my ex and I cheated. She was looking for an escape from a lot of family pressure, and I was way more depressed than I realized after finding out about it. So I acted out instead of getting help. It takes a long time to forgive yourself and your ex, but it’s possible to be happy and content again. Focus on getting to the point where you don’t need external validation from a woman. If you or I were in that mental state, maybe things would have been different.
/r/Divorce_Men10/01/25 04:16 AM
5

Right after my wife and I separated, I needed a retreat too, but I didn’t want to go too far or spend much money. I went to a local monetary for 5 days. I slept, prayed/meditated, and relaxed. It might not be your thing, but hanging out with the monks was just what I needed. (And I’m not even catholic.)
/r/Divorce_Men07/12/24 04:35 AM
7

You might want to check out the Meetup app. It’s not technically for dating, but most of the people our age on there are single. I’ve been on several hikes and attended a few happy hours—nearly each time I have been able to get a woman’s number. It’s still hit or miss, but it’s an easy way to get your social life back.
/r/Divorce_Men11/11/24 03:01 PM
2

This is my exact situation too. I make considerably less than my ex but she is currently struggling financially and I, for the first time in my adult life, am able to save money each month.
/r/Divorce_Men11/11/24 11:58 AM
2

I know the feeling of being down the priority list too. I say “I was needed but not wanted.” I glad you feel appreciated now.
/r/Divorce_Men07/10/24 10:43 AM
12

I had a vasectomy 12 years ago, and I found used pregnancy tests in my wife’s side of the bathroom two years ago. I never found out the details/truth—maybe I didn’t want to know it. I tried to look past the affair and reconcile. But my head was too screwed up from her treating me like her secretary/maid for years and then ultimately cheating on me. I’m not proud of it, but I returned the favor. That didn’t help me feel better either. The only thing that helped was separation. Even though I dread…
/r/Divorce_Men16/09/24 07:31 PM
6

Happy birthday. Mine was yesterday. My first one post-separation. It felt weird.
/r/Divorce_Men21/08/24 10:35 PM
1

Has anyone considered a meal service? That solution is probably anathema to chefs like the OP. But I’ve been considering one because I hate being wasteful when cooking for myself—both with the food and my time.
/r/Divorce_Men20/08/24 10:55 AM
1

I’m in the same boat. Even though my stbx hates my guts, she knows me and my personal business better than anyone else at this point. I’ve considered putting my father down as the emergency contact, but he lives in a different state so he couldn’t do anything for me in an emergency.
/r/Divorce_Men20/08/24 08:01 AM
8

I’m 7 months separated, and this is a struggle for me. I find myself wanting to wear it in front of my kids or old friends who knew us as a couple. I think I’m still hung up on the idea of being known as a stable, successful married man, even though I don’t want to be with her anymore.
/r/Divorce_Men12/07/24 11:12 AM
1

Thanks. I started reading No More Mr Nice Guy for the second thing this week.
/r/Divorce_Men16/06/24 11:42 AM
2

I’m in the same boat. I don’t want the house. It’s a great property and it’s a pretty good investment, but I’d much rather live smaller and cheaper. That way I have plenty of cash left over per month to invest.
/r/Divorce_Men12/06/24 10:30 PM
2

I do have a lawyer. We are rejecting every offer that is less than a 50/50 split of assets and debt and the full child support required by law. I am honestly sick of all these offers and negotiations. I just want a judge to divvy it up.
/r/Divorce_Men12/06/24 09:55 PM
2

I told her it was a non-starter. Not even in the ballpark. I’m not budging on 50/50 custody, and she makes almost 100k more per year than me (and I have a healthy income), so SHE WILL OWE ME child support. She doesn’t want to pay that and she has the audacity to think I should pay part of her mortgage. She makes a ton of money, but has no idea how to live on a budget.
/r/Divorce_Men12/06/24 12:48 AM
28

I know the feeling. My STBX always made more than me, but she spent waaaaaaaaay more. She filed for divorce, and now is realizing how much she needs my paycheck to maintain her standard of living. Her settlement offer included no child support and wants me to pay half of her mortgage. She’s delusional. I’m sure she’s already drowning in debt. In the meantime, I’m actually enjoying living on my paycheck and buying a few things for myself for once.
/r/Divorce_Men11/06/24 10:35 AM
4

I just went out to get an ice cream bar for a mid-day snack. Not quite hookers and blow, but it was nice. LOL
/r/Divorce_Men03/06/24 08:21 PM
1

No he’s me
/r/Divorce_Men03/06/24 05:45 PM
2

Thanks. I have the kids tonight and tomorrow night, but I think I might try to do something fun in the second half of the week.
/r/Divorce_Men03/06/24 05:41 PM
1

I’m in the opposite situation. My wife doesn’t want me to go to church and is mobilizing the church leadership against me. I do think it’s important to give her some space, and I’m resisting the urge to fight back by airing all of her dirty laundry. I think it’s important that our kids stay in the church. It’s stable and good for them. My issue is that I would like to attend church with my kids. For now, I just go whenever I know she’s out of town.
/r/Divorce_Men03/06/24 05:39 PM
2

This resonated with me. I feel guilt every day, and I don’t know if I’ll ever get over that. But my wife wasn’t interested in the marriage anymore either. She just did her thing and left me to do the dirty work. That still doesn’t justify anything, but I was resentful. If I had a super power, it would defiantly be to turn back time.
/r/Divorce_Men23/05/24 04:24 PM
2

I know exactly how you feel. Our adult lives will now have a Part A and a Part B. The next phase can be good, hopefully better. But that doesn’t mean that Part A was all bad. I think I’d do it again too. For the kids, and even for those earlier years with her.
/r/Divorce_Men20/05/24 01:34 PM
2

I know EXACTLY how you feel. Christian purity culture played a role in some of my marriage’s dysfunction. And now I’m trying to sort out what I want and how that fits with my theology. Two things that I’ve noticed after emerging from some of this (I’m a few months ahead of you) is 1) women are way hornier than we were ever led to believe, and 2) I am still, and probably always will be, attracted more to Christian women. But first things first…get more comfortable being single. That takes a while…
/r/Divorce_Men10/05/24 02:06 AM
2

OP, It sounds like you and I both define ourselves by our caretaking abilities. Have you read No More Mr Nice Guy? If you’re like me, it will blow your mind.
/r/Divorce_Men07/05/24 04:34 PM
5

Damn. That’s the painful truth.
/r/Divorce_Men07/05/24 01:46 PM
11

I know exactly how you feel. I was always needed but not wanted in my marriage. My stbex is starting to feel the pinch. She has a good job, but without my income and my abilities to take care of things she can’t make ends meet. The lawn looks terrible, the pool is green… But I was overwhelmed by loneliness a few days ago. And I really want someone who wants to have sex with me. We’ll get through this.
/r/Divorce_Men07/05/24 12:10 PM
1

If you are interested in meeting people and getting out of the house, it might be better to use the meet up app to find some group activities in your area. I’ve been using it to find groups for hiking, movies, and happy hours. There are plenty of interesting guys and some attractive women there. And you can actually meet them in real life while doing a fun activity.
/r/Divorce_Men06/05/24 08:58 PM
1

I had a whole breakdown last night over this very issue. I’m separated, so I’m doing lots of things on my own right now and then coming home and not even having someone to hug sucks.
/r/Divorce_Men17/04/24 11:21 AM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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