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Rare_Psychology_8853 Archive

View 2 posts and 211 comments by Rare_Psychology_8853 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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5

Yeah I know the feeling, I wrote things down because they'd deny it and seem so convincing I started doubting myself
/r/Divorce_Men30/06/26 09:31 PM
1

Did you begin to write down when you’d have sex so you’d know when it happened for a fact, when she began to deny deny deny
/r/Divorce_Men30/06/26 07:34 PM
2

Have you done any rehab/therapy?
/r/Divorce_Men29/06/26 03:26 AM
1

You were sick but she wanted you to go get her meds??
/r/Divorce_Men26/06/26 10:45 PM
1

That’s nasty as fuck. I don’t blame you.
/r/Divorce_Men26/06/26 10:41 PM
2

I’ll get parenting tips from Casey Anthony before I ever go to a woman’s divorce subreddit for advice or comfort. Block me if it bothers you, you won’t see me again. I don’t think no women allowed is a subreddit rule.
/r/Divorce_Men26/06/26 10:38 PM
2

Yeah mine uses the excuse of the kids to not work. I even tried to just ask him to take on something part time. Or freelance, which he used to do on the side. Not a single dollar brought in after 3-4 years of asking him. I was carrying all of the load myself. So I saved up everything I could so that we’d have 6 months of expenses, and I quit. He still didn’t get a job. This shit is insane. How do adults just decide “no thanks, earning money is optional” and force their spouse into choosing betwe…
/r/Divorce_Men26/06/26 10:27 PM
1

Idk how false teeth work but I think the care of them works differently than natural teeth, right? Was she caring for her false teeth in the recommended ways? Or are you saying she had bad hygiene, didn't care for her teeth in the recommended ways, so like her breath was stinky and her teeth were yellow and stuff? Everyone's confused bc your post is a long run on paragraph and all over the place. A lot of people don't know much about dental implants and stuff like polygrip so you'll have to allo…
/r/Divorce_Men26/06/26 08:38 PM
0

Correct.
/r/Divorce_Men26/06/26 08:30 PM
-7

Make me.
/r/Divorce_Men26/06/26 08:20 PM
-4

When I realized I was constantly having to choose between my own happiness and his. So he wouldn’t get a job so that I could take a lower paying job. (He has no job.) He wouldnt put our house building plans on hold for a year so that I could get my certification and switch to a less stressful job. I was constantly choosing his happiness over mine. They seemed mutually exclusive. In order to make him happy, I had to sacrifice myself. And he did not even appreciate it. He constantly complained. Ha…
/r/Divorce_Men26/06/26 07:40 PM
1

Edit: wait a minute is she working 70 hours? You said she has a 40 hour week job plus 30 hours part time? If she’s not working long hours then disregard basically my whole comment idk Also how old is your kid? In school or daycare? If she never bitched about the state of the house, would you mind if she didn’t help with the chores? I was the breadwinning wife working 65-70+ hour weeks and my husband handled most of the childcare and chores while being a stay at home dad. We got into a very toxic…
/r/Divorce_Men25/06/26 05:38 AM
11

he said in his other post basically its because he was impotent due to his addiction at the end of the marriage, and the stereotype about black men having large penises makes him feel upset/insecure about his wife being with a black man.
/r/Divorce_Men23/06/26 04:04 AM
11

Call the suicide hotline right now, this isn't a job for a reddit.
/r/Divorce_Men23/06/26 01:14 AM
1

💀
/r/Divorce_Men23/06/26 01:01 AM
1

If you genuinely have no idea why are you aimlessly speculating that it might have to do with your political opinions? I don’t believe you’re 100% ignorant of the reasons. If you genuinely have no clue what caused this, even if that explanation isn’t your fault, then you have had your head up your ass for a while.
/r/Divorce_Men23/06/26 12:05 AM
2

What is your daughter's given reason for the distance and eventual cut off?
/r/Divorce_Men22/06/26 04:18 AM
1

What is your daughter's given reason for the distance and eventual cut off?
/r/Divorce_Men22/06/26 04:18 AM
29

Dude your ex is a mess. Nah. Don't romanticize the life she's living with this other guy and the baby and stuff. Don't do it. She's a fucking mess and in like 10 years (if that) you'll see who is actually living their best life. Just because she's got something new going on, you think that means you're "on the sidelines" and she's the one living and having a "new family"? My brother in christ please understand that anyone can go get pregnant, it's not an accomplishment. Okay? Letting someone raw…
/r/Divorce_Men22/06/26 01:07 AM
0

Yeah I’d document that shit. If your ex wants to a raise a brat that’s her business but I’d be pissed that her bad parenting is causing our shared child pain. Good luck to your ex when that girl turns about 14, btw. She reaps what she sows.
/r/Divorce_Men21/06/26 04:34 PM
3

How old is she?
/r/Divorce_Men21/06/26 03:30 PM
6

I get what you're trying to say but some of that shit is lowkey insane
/r/Divorce_Men21/06/26 03:29 PM
2

You sound like an alcoholic who is still in denial about it. It’s great you’ve got some support. I still believe you need professional support. Take care.
/r/Divorce_Men18/06/26 07:12 PM
6

The thing is, the ink on the divorce decree is dry. It’s been dry for 2 months. You were separated before that, too. All of this could have been when you had the realization that this is real, but seeing her with another man is what has really woken you up. I am not judging that fact, but it’s something to reflect on. You heard she has a boyfriend and thought “Damn. So this is real, huh? I really lost her.” You lost her over 27 years, and you were sleep walking through those years not realizing …
/r/Divorce_Men18/06/26 04:14 PM
3

And they should have slowed down after kid #1 when they realized kids + financial chaos is not a good combination.
/r/Divorce_Men17/06/26 09:11 PM
2

Moving your family internationally only to quit after a day is a bad decision that creates debt. It also creates a lot of upheaval for your children which is worrying.
/r/Divorce_Men17/06/26 09:10 PM
2

Assuming she was involved in all of these iterations of plans, then obviously you're frustrated with her. Just as your life is getting rebuilt, she makes an impulsive choice that destabilizes not just your finances but your children's lives in general. You don't sound like a financial genius either. Using your credit cards to cover short falls? Trying to start a business, with a young family and already-struggling finances and two full time jobs already? Are you insane? Why is she working, is it…
/r/Divorce_Men17/06/26 09:08 PM
6

Ridiculous.
/r/Divorce_Men17/06/26 09:00 PM
6

She's trash
/r/Divorce_Men16/06/26 11:34 PM
4

Thank god a sane answer that actually gets to the point of the question and isn’t just a rant
/r/Divorce_Men16/06/26 12:46 PM
2

How long ago did these medical issues become a problem? Do things seem to be escalating in the last 9 months for some reason, either due to her health or external factors? And is she receiving any treatment for it right now, if there are any treatments available?
/r/Divorce_Men14/06/26 04:54 AM
1

She is using you. She will never stay and be the woman you're fantasizing that she could be. It's so obvious. Even your kids know it.
/r/Divorce_Men11/06/26 04:45 PM
2

She can go after you for child support if you decide to call off the separation and she has this child within the marriage, especially with a period of time of you taking responsibility for the child afterwards.
/r/Divorce_Men11/06/26 04:43 PM
1

Good idea. Also he should put everything in her name. It'll show her how dedicated he is.
/r/Divorce_Men11/06/26 04:42 PM
2

Why the fuck would you allow her back into your home when she's not a suitable co-parent? Idk the age gap but sounds like she's about 19 with her ignoring your kids because "they ignore me!" Fuck her. Stop trying to save a ho.
/r/Divorce_Men11/06/26 04:40 PM
15

Never send texts like that again.
/r/Divorce_Men10/06/26 02:01 PM
10

Never asked you to do it...but never said anything, either. Yeah, she sounds really loving. Seeing your spouse exhaust himself and doing nothing for years and then saying "I never asked you to do that" is fucked.
/r/Divorce_Men09/06/26 10:37 PM
2

Got it. I understand the angst about not wanting her to find out in a less than ideal way. Respectfully: I still think you’re in denial about your level of influence to how she responds to the divorce. Im sure you love her a lot and would want nothing more than to minimize pain for her. I don’t know you in real life, so who knows if my belief about you being in denial is accurate. Just be careful of emotional enmeshment.
/r/Divorce_Men08/06/26 11:20 PM
2

I feel like both of you are in denial about the divorce if you’re hanging out watching movies together and then you’re simultaneously worried she’ll see some text about divorce, if she is supposed to already be aware that it’s coming. At worst you’re sending mixed signals instead of easing off so that when you have “the talk” it doesn’t feel jarring. This just seems odd.
/r/Divorce_Men08/06/26 09:34 PM
3

I don’t even know how you’d find the time to date your wife with that much on your plate. My husband and I get lunch once a week and that’s our date. A big date is maybe every other month. Both people really have to want it, for that to work. She found time for tennis and day drinking, not for you.
/r/Divorce_Men08/06/26 05:32 PM
1

There was definitely a weird vibe from a few of my friends when I would mention the 10th anniversary or that we were having a baby. It was like it wasn’t a good thing.
/r/Divorce_Men08/06/26 05:31 PM
9

Yeah I honestly didn’t get why that was such a big deal to men in divorce/relationship spaces until I took the time to learn about men’s perspectives and what they mean when they say accountability. I think it’s completely different than how women use that word most of the time. If I had to sum up the difference it’s that when men discuss accountability, the word responsibility is automatically included with that word. Whereas women can separate the two. While those two words have overlap, they …
/r/Divorce_Men08/06/26 05:19 AM
1

Hahaha got it. yeah dont blame you for wanting to cut off the assistant cheater
/r/Divorce_Men08/06/26 01:26 AM
2

You are exactly right and I’ve never read it so well put. I think that’s why mental load never resonated with me. I was the breadwinner at first and he was the stay at home dad. For a while I entertained it but then I realized half these women were stay at home parents who were complaining about their inability to prioritize, organize, and systematize the day to day tasks that every adult has to handle, whether single or married, with or without kids. And they want their breadwinner husbands who…
/r/Divorce_Men08/06/26 01:19 AM
1

Damn and I really wanted to read it. It got removed just as I clicked the motivation.
/r/Divorce_Men08/06/26 01:11 AM
5

I bet those friends of hers are the type to enjoy having someone messy around because it makes them feel better about themselves.
/r/Divorce_Men08/06/26 12:57 AM
3

That’s honestly crazy. That’s like taking investment advice from a crackhead
/r/Divorce_Men08/06/26 12:02 AM
2

So she’s getting a taste of what she was asking you to do, work yourself to the bone. Honestly probably not even that. You don’t think about mental load because you never thought it needed a name. It’s just being a responsible adult who takes care of shit, even if it’s stressful. I hate that “mental load” has become a term women use as though it’s some unique that they suffer from and men don’t. Like what do they want, a world without decisions and responsibilities? But I was guilty of bitching …
/r/Divorce_Men07/06/26 11:53 PM
2

She still with him? Has he ruined her life yet?
/r/Divorce_Men07/06/26 11:47 PM
2

Misogyny. Wow. While you did nothing but work eat and sleep. I wonder if she will ever look back and realize how nice her life actually was, and how she wasted that opportunity.
/r/Divorce_Men07/06/26 11:32 PM
1

My friends were either single or married and childfree. This is probably controversial to say on Reddit but childfree people don’t have a clue about how children change a marriage. (To me it’s the equivalent of men telling women how to cope with the pain of childbirth or women trying to relate with how it feels to get kicked in the balls. Don’t even try to pretend you get it, because you don’t.) So my childfree married friends would think the laws of their childless marriage could translate to m…
/r/Divorce_Men07/06/26 11:18 PM
5

I hate what you’re saying because it feels true of like 75% of my friendships over my life.
/r/Divorce_Men07/06/26 11:11 PM
2

Well, I’m just going to say it: Nobody working 18 hour days while the other spouse is a full time homemaker should be making kids lunches. My husband was the SAHD for 6 years while I worked in tech. Very similar pressure and hours. He would’ve never told me I needed to make the kids lunches. He did laundry dishes and most meals for 6 years.
/r/Divorce_Men07/06/26 11:09 PM
5

If women on tiktok knew anything about men or happiness they wouldn’t have an entire genre of content that is best described as “crying in car after a bad tinder date”
/r/Divorce_Men07/06/26 10:48 PM
1

Holy shit I thought it was consensual not this.
/r/Divorce_Men07/06/26 10:45 PM
1

You just triggered a forgotten memory. I also fell into the TikTok rabbit hole. It was 2020-2021-ish. There are a lot of creators on there who have no credentials at all but are good at sounding like a credentialed professional. There are also just a lot of divorced women on there who do story times. Lots of TikTok popularized language exactly like what you said. Weaponized incompetence and mental load were huge. I really started to believe my husband was doing weaponized incompetence when he fa…
/r/Divorce_Men07/06/26 10:39 PM
4

You’ve gotta be kidding, you did all of that but say you didn’t do a lot for her? One time when my husband and I were in the darkest year of marriage (2021, hands down) we actually wrote down every household task that had to be done between the two of us. It began as a petty score keeping thing between two people who resented each other beyond belief so I’m not really proud of it. But on the other hand when we started writing it all down we were both kinda surprised by things the other person wr…
/r/Divorce_Men07/06/26 10:32 PM
1

There are quicker ways for a woman to get engagement from men on the internet than pouring out a novel about my marriage hitting a rough patch. My picture is a well known Britney Spears paparazzi photo, it’s something of a meme…but maybe less known among men. Such a weird thing on Reddit, when people assume everyone is a bot or some kind of karma farming troll. I guess because 1/3 posts on Reddit are AI slop these days. But if I’m just engagement baiting, what’s my end goal? I try to sell an e-c…
/r/Divorce_Men07/06/26 10:25 PM
2

Wait what???
/r/Divorce_Men07/06/26 09:10 PM
6

As a woman with an insider view, I’d estimate 75% of the complaint about being hit on were simply covert bragging. Once again women are uncomfortable with their own competitive natures. They suppress it by ignoring the fact that they feel flattered, that it gave them a confidence boost. They complain to friends or on social media about it, because complaining about the attention is the only way to share the fact that you got the attention without sounding like you enjoyed it and are bragging. (Y…
/r/Divorce_Men07/06/26 08:47 PM
1

That is awful. I think it’s cowardly and selfish when people have to create lies to justify their leaving. Why not just admit “You didn’t do anything wrong, but this isn’t what I want anymore”? Then you could at least not waste the other persons time where they wonder if they messed up, or try to fix things that weren’t the problem to begin with. How long were you married? Was she good when you met her? Any idea why she transformed into the person she was in the end? Really freaks me out to thin…
/r/Divorce_Men07/06/26 08:31 PM
3

That’s very interesting to me. If you have links to those studies I’d love to read them.
/r/Divorce_Men07/06/26 08:29 PM
3

Idk. I think women nowadays are in denial about our inherent competitive nature, but generations past were most honest about it. These days it is a shameful thing to compete with other women. I don’t know why. Men compete with their peers, and even their friends. It is not secretive or shameful, nor is it toxic. Men can compete good naturedly and admit when they’ve been beat. They can admire traits in other men and be motivated and inspired rather than feel threatened by another man’s competence…
/r/Divorce_Men07/06/26 08:20 PM
1

She really consulted a board of directors made of hot mess women who knew nothing about how to have a successful marriage.
/r/Divorce_Men07/06/26 08:14 PM
3

This type of thing is why some say divorce is contagious
/r/Divorce_Men07/06/26 08:13 PM
1

Most of us
/r/Divorce_Men07/06/26 08:12 PM
2

That is just horrifying! Far beyond the casual “gossiping and bitching” I was imagining when I posted this. Those accusations are very serious and life ruining. I’m sorry that happened and I hope things improve for you.
/r/Divorce_Men07/06/26 07:56 PM
4

I cannot imagine giving it only one year to make a marriage work. Unless you were recovering from a severe addiction or had abused her previously, I think most marriages are worth more than that period of time to see whether things could be reconciled. Did she try to keep the emotional affair a secret or was she always open with what she was doing? That is so bold and disrespectful of her. And she sounds like a real coward, to essentially punish you for one year while you try to save the marriag…
/r/Divorce_Men07/06/26 07:52 PM
2

Wow. What a lazy idiot. And she’s living off $2500/month somehow? She must have no drive because you can’t reach a very good standard of living on that much, in most parts of the country.
/r/Divorce_Men07/06/26 02:45 AM
4

Did she work or just spend your money?
/r/Divorce_Men06/06/26 11:44 PM
2

Don’t marry again. You’re used goods.
/r/Divorce_Men05/06/26 06:12 PM
14

What your kids have gone through is her fault. Your unwillingness to take back a whore is not what caused your children’s suffering. Your wife being a whore is what caused that. And she will do it again. Women especially, can cheat any time they leave the house. Opportunity is constant. A woman who gave in once, will do it again and again. I’d never take back a cheater. I could probably find forgiveness eventually and let go of my anger. But take back? Never. Doing it for the sake of the kids is…
/r/Divorce_Men05/06/26 05:26 PM
2

They always throw the controlling label around when what they really mean is that because of their choice to behave like a child, you were put in a position to take a parental role towards her. No man actually wants to be forced into that role. I’m sure you’d have loved to have a co-pilot in life rather than a useless dependent who, while acting like a child, you’re not actually able to discipline as you would with a child.
/r/Divorce_Men05/06/26 05:08 PM
3

Some people will do the bare minimum and make excuses for as long as they're able. Sadly those people will usually make their spouse's life very lonely and difficult, because they put their spouse in the position of caretaker, the one who is acting like an adult so that the harshest consequences of the behavior don't impact the family.
/r/Divorce_Men05/06/26 04:30 PM
8

Sounds like pure projection on her part to call you a narcissist. It's only because you're being responsible that she's even able to act like a stupid child, knowing you're holding down the fort and acting like an adult. Honestly I am starting to wonder if women are just using perimenopause as a catch-all excuse. No energy, no motivation, blah blah blah. Honestly I get the hormonal waves of emotion but when you're using hormones as the reason that you won't get your ass off the couch and do some…
/r/Divorce_Men05/06/26 04:14 AM
2

That’s fucked
/r/Divorce_Men04/06/26 11:51 PM
2

Can you enroll them in a summer camp so that they at least leave the house and interact with others? I understand your concern because if they’re just locked inside all day on screens not only are they not exercising or getting any vitamin d from the sun, they’re probably also developing “weird tablet kid” personalities or habits.
/r/Divorce_Men04/06/26 11:50 PM
2

The purpose of marriage to me is to unify a family under one name, culture, and set of values. My marriage went very well for about 7 years before entering a rocky couple of years which led me here to seek the perspective of men (we are still married and are on the mend but it was very hard for about 1 year). While it was going very well, we were aligned on all things. Because of this, we were a powerful team. We were able to build our financial foundation, buy multiple properties, and bring 3 c…
/r/Divorce_Men04/06/26 11:43 PM
9

Holy shit 7 kids and she threw it away for some strange dick.
/r/Divorce_Men04/06/26 11:36 PM
-1

Disagree. It’s important to choose wisely. In women and in friends. After I cut this friend off, I had to take a look at myself and how I was such good friends with a woman like that without realizing who she was. Hopefully her husband will reflect, too. They moved fast. He is insecure about being overweight all his life. She has a way of dazzling men and making them feel important. I think that probably had a lot to do with it. I’m not shaming him; I more or less fell for the same thing.
/r/Divorce_Men04/06/26 11:29 PM
20

This needs to be better known. Broke off a 10 year friendship with my friend because she told me about her affair. Her plan? Ask her husband for an open marriage, then introduce the affair partner as someone she had met after the open marriage was already agreed upon. It’s such a cliche. And good men are going along with it because they don’t want to lose their wife or family. Truth is if she’s asking, you’ve already lost her.
/r/Divorce_Men04/06/26 11:20 PM
4

lol never mind I see you crossposted there already!
/r/Divorce_Men04/06/26 11:18 PM
15

There are hundreds of similar stories. r/openmarriageregret
/r/Divorce_Men04/06/26 11:18 PM
1

I’m sorry that’s going on I just don’t get why you’re not using the courts or getting a job closer to home. You make it sound like you left for your own needs and that isn’t going to sit right with people. Your kids need you more than every other weekend especially if their mom is crazy.
/r/Divorce_Men04/06/26 11:45 AM
1

You moved to El Paso? Where are your ex and kids? How often do you “visit” them and when do you plan to pursue joint custody so they can actually visit YOU? You can’t just fucking move out of state and leave you kids behind just because you got cheated on. Lots of people in here got cheated on. 3 kids with a woman you met in 2021, you guys got busy fast. Did you have another kid with her AFTER you found out about her cheating? Because 3 kids in 2 years is fast. So I’m guessing you had a kid afte…
/r/Divorce_Men04/06/26 03:44 AM
1

Was she catholic when you got married and then she switched?
/r/Divorce_Men03/06/26 05:28 PM
1

Sounds like they still aren’t having to change schools. They’ll get over the pool. Do they know you’re even looking for a home right now? To go from “we are thinking about getting a home” to “we made an offer on a home” in a short span of time is kind of rough. So maybe the ship has sailed on easing them into it. You do not consult your kids on this, you inform them of what you are planning to do and you take their questions with patience and calm. But still from a place of authority. No anxious…
/r/Divorce_Men03/06/26 04:54 PM
1

Is she still catholic?
/r/Divorce_Men03/06/26 04:47 PM
2

Did she stay with her affair partner after the divorce?
/r/Divorce_Men02/06/26 12:22 AM
2

🥲
/r/Divorce_Men02/06/26 12:21 AM
–

It can sneak up on you. Just eating an extra 200 calories a day, the equivalent of a vanilla latte morning habit. However being 100 pounds overweight and maintaining it is not good. She could easily lose about 4 pounds per month naturally and be in a better place physically by Christmas. It only takes a bit more activity and conscientiousness about calorie dense foods and drinks.
/r/Divorce_Men31/05/26 07:27 PM
1

Husbands are not responsible for their wife's self-esteem and then the actions they take as a result of that self-esteem. If that was how it worked, husbands everywhere would pump their wives up full of confidence. In my experience, the average decent man is very generous in their assessment of a woman's beauty when they're already attracted to her. They will not nitpick cellulite or a stretch mark like women fear. They will compliment and adore, especially if sex is abundant. Actually I think i…
/r/Divorce_Men31/05/26 07:23 PM
1

This is very dire. What's stopping you from moving out of town right now? Maybe a change is exactly what you need to get out of your freeze state. Grief is weird. I wouldn't write off the things that worked in your mid-30s just yet. This is a deeper grief but you will move through it and feel like you again. Or even better than "you."
/r/Divorce_Men31/05/26 07:09 PM
10

He's using the real pain of the men in here to reinforce his weird red pill bullshit. This place is like visiting an educational museum, to him. Here to observe, learn, then go back to his life feeling better about himself.
/r/Divorce_Men31/05/26 04:08 PM
9

We need a stolen valor flair for users like you. You weren't even married, much less divorced. You got used by your ex for 3 years, then showed up to your friends wedding and said "what a chump" to soothe your wounds.
/r/Divorce_Men31/05/26 04:05 PM
7

Garbage attracts garbage. His description of his ex is she = garbage. He needs to ask himself why he stayed with garbage for 3 fucking years.
/r/Divorce_Men31/05/26 03:54 PM
0

OP’s 100 pound overweight wife cannot run a half marathon.
/r/Divorce_Men31/05/26 03:52 PM
1

Women can look hot well into their 40s and 50s if they don’t sit on their ass eating twinkies with an Ellen degeneres haircut and shapeless clothes from the men’s department.
/r/Divorce_Men31/05/26 03:51 PM
3

I was thinking this too. But if he’s American the standards have slid so far. Who knows, maybe she was athletic when they met with dense muscle and a nice figure. But if that was the case, her change in shape would be even more shocking. Imagine going from a muscle mommy to that photo he gave as an example. Getting married and then letting yourself go isn’t okay and it’s weird that people think it’s fine and defend it all the time, especially if it’s a woman who has had children.
/r/Divorce_Men31/05/26 03:49 PM
2

Exactly. If he was 100 pounds overweight and jobless spending all day on his ass playing video games women would fry his ass and tell her to divorce him.
/r/Divorce_Men31/05/26 03:47 PM
1

Maybe she’s a fat slob who doesn’t have a job. 🤷🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️
/r/Divorce_Men31/05/26 03:47 PM
2

220 pounds on a 5’3” frame is massive. Literally 100 pounds overweight. I am 5’4” and I weighed 180 pounds after 3 pregnancies. Even that felt massive to me, I looked huge compared to when I met my husband. Accepting that and doing nothing about it would have qualified as “letting myself go” and I don’t think it’s acceptable. A lot of people feel the same way and they’re allowed to have whatever standards they want in a marriage. OP admits to being 20 pounds overweight which is a lot different f…
/r/Divorce_Men31/05/26 03:45 PM
1

It’s hard. Have you ever tried meditation, breathwork, and yoga? 2025 was the worst god damn year of my life so I started doing this because I didn’t want to try Zoloft again. And it’s helping me detach from stuff without detaching from the entire world….i can still experience joy but i also have tools so that when the dread or anger or sorrow comes, i don't wallow or do something impulsive. I’ve been able to taper off THC thanks to this as well. It’s hard but it’s like a muscle you are building…
/r/Divorce_Men31/05/26 03:38 PM
5

And he hasn’t even gotten a divorce. He’s just a red pilled 20-something who is probably fresh out of a breakup. Watching his friends get married and going “couldn’t be me” as if getting married is akin to compulsory military service.
/r/Divorce_Men31/05/26 03:34 PM
7

Sounds like a case of expecting one human to supply them with all of the emotional fulfillment possible instead of diversifying so that when your marriage has its “meh” eras, you don’t collapse.
/r/Divorce_Men30/05/26 12:00 AM
8

What specifically was horrendous about it? How do you define toxic? I don’t have time to check it out but I scrolled a bit down and saw mostly normal titles that are comparable to the stuff that shows up in this subreddit. Mostly sane, a few bitter outliers….but this subreddit has those too. Last week there was a guy in here quoting a philosopher’s essay that said women are not sexually attractive after giving birth, and were intellectually children who shouldn’t be trusted with any responsibili…
/r/Divorce_Men29/05/26 11:43 PM
4

Crazy right? How were things good enough to bring new life into the world but two years later they’re bad enough to get a divorce? It makes you wonder what their thought process was, and if they knew they’d want a divorce even while they were trying to get pregnant.
/r/Divorce_Men28/05/26 02:42 PM
6

From your other post “ The worse part is i cheated on my wife while she was pregnant with our first child. ” Wow you’re a piece of shit lmfao. And now you rub your sob story through chat gpt to make this AI slop shit
/r/Divorce_Men27/05/26 03:21 AM
5

It’s so frustrating to hear about all these women who don’t appreciate what they’ve got. Have you been to individual therapy before? Asking because if not, you might be thinking of it as “a place where I go to fix what’s wrong with me because my wife said so.” If you go into it telling your therapist you’ve got certain goals, they might actually help you sort this shit out to the point where you decide whether or not you want to leave, and how to draw a line with her so that she doesn’t just sto…
/r/Divorce_Men27/05/26 02:56 AM
7

Interesting. I’m curious what other people know and whether there’s ever any sympathetic or justifiable reason for this. I know a family friend who was unable to get any financial aid due to his father making big bucks. The twist was his father was never around much in his life, refused to pay a dime for college, and his mom worked as a medical assistant, didn’t make much, and couldn’t afford to help him. So that sucked for him, he didn’t even want his dad to pay for his college, he just wanted …
/r/Divorce_Men27/05/26 02:49 AM
7

I saw this with myself when I lost weight. Estrogen is stored in fat and released when the body burns fat. It took me weeks to normalize. My periods were messed up too, sometimes I’d have no period at all and other times it lasted 2 weeks instead of 1. I was a moody bitch. Up and down, left and right. Horny as hell, then don’t even look in my direction or you’re a pig. Hot flashes, cold flashes. Overstimulated by even quiet noises. Etc etc. all the typical hormonal stuff. Look in xxketo, xxfitne…
/r/Divorce_Men25/05/26 02:55 PM
7

Wowwwww what the fuck is she doing all day? No wonder you're pissed. Good luck buddy. Don't tip her off, talk to a lawyer quietly.
/r/Divorce_Men23/05/26 12:57 AM
4

That'll do it. What were her given reasons for quitting her job? I know you said it was done without discussion but - was it really like you had no idea she had a desire to leave her job, everything seemed fine, then all of a sudden she quit? Or was she talking about unhappiness before?
/r/Divorce_Men23/05/26 12:56 AM
6

Just curious how old your kids are that she is now a stay at home mom. Being in STEM I'm sure her income exceeded the cost of daycare anyway, but was daycare cost a factor or are they all old enough to be in school? Like someone else said if you're going to divorce, hurry because it's recent enough. Otherwise if you let years go by then her old income becomes less relevant and she could get spousal support/child support.
/r/Divorce_Men23/05/26 12:55 AM
4

That kind of play is normal, don’t overthink it.
/r/Divorce_Men20/05/26 01:34 PM
27

Nothing blew up in your face. You did this. Your ex showed you in real time? Are you kidding? Who cares about your ex? Who cares if she blocks your girlfriend? You should have never entertained any of this crap. Your gf says “your ex blocked me” you go 🤷🏻‍♀️ yall don’t have to have a relationship anyway. If you have kids and get remarried one day, sure, it would be nice if your ex and your new wife didn’t hate each other. But you’re still the person who would be managing the coparenting, not a n…
/r/Divorce_Men20/05/26 01:20 PM
8

Congrats on your freedom. Your new era is just beginning. Life becomes so easy once you shed a narcissist. It’s like living your life with 50lb weights on each ankle. You got used to it. Adapted. Then you take the weights off and holy shit, anything feels possible.
/r/Divorce_Men18/05/26 10:52 PM
2

That seems like a baseless, histrionic generalization. Leaving doesn’t always mean not giving a fuck. We know very little about him. He said he’s done an “ungodly amount of work” on himself. For all you know, he was a meth addict who punched holes in the drywall.
/r/Divorce_Men17/05/26 09:56 PM
10

The right of the husband is to leave a woman who does this to him. What are you going to do? Stay? You cannot control her. If you stay and she does something like this again, don’t blame women’s independence, blame yourself.
/r/Divorce_Men17/05/26 01:07 PM
2

This sounds like not the first time
/r/Divorce_Men16/05/26 04:32 PM
5

That is a good question. It really made me think. I'm not 100% confident of my answer, but after some thought, here it is: My husband could have drawn healthy boundaries sooner. We were very enmeshed and I suspect the same of OP and his wife. I made my husband responsible for my emotions. If I didn't "feel connected", that was his fault. He needed do more XYZ. He needed to fix it. All him. My husband went with this for a long time. He eventually drew boundaries. I'm going to be honest, that hurt…
/r/Divorce_Men16/05/26 01:31 AM
11

I had postpartum depression and was in this cycle for many years. I’m not here to talk you in or out of anything, honestly I doubt you want to hear that from a woman. But I did eventually turn it around and part of that process was realizing that I was blaming my husband for the emotional emptiness inside of me that was mine and mine alone. In other words I felt hollow and empty inside, and I fixated on my marriage rather than taking a hard look at myself. I told my husband do change this is and…
/r/Divorce_Men15/05/26 10:33 PM
6

You voluntarily funded the life of a woman who made no secret about the fact that she found your personality off putting. She didn't like you. Other women would like you, but this one did not. You can make her the villain of your story, you can come to a thread full of men twice your age who will validate your anger. Until you unpack what it was about you that allowed yourself to remain in that situation, you will meet it again and again. It sounds to me like you allowed yourself to be used. And…
/r/Divorce_Men15/05/26 02:18 PM
2

He's 26 and I don't think he's even been married much less divorced. Was in a toxic relationship with a leech who didn't like his personality and rolled her eyes every time he spoke since he was 22. Some of yall are getting out of marriages that long. And instead of leading this man towards the light, you're validating his delusion because it feels good to you. We wonder why young men are in a crisis today. We blame the women. This thread is a bunch of lost, lonely, depressed middle aged men who…
/r/Divorce_Men15/05/26 02:04 PM
-8

It’s adorable that you think I made an ad hominem. You’ll argue with anything. Even nothing. Hope OP finds better community and some real life friends and stops building himself a bigger box with bigger walls and analyzing 200 year old texts rather than looking in the mirror and asking himself why he was financially supporting a woman who loathed him for 4 years. Accountability is hard but it’s worth it.
/r/Divorce_Men15/05/26 11:45 AM
-17

Those are a lot of impressive, long words. It's too bad you don't know how to use them properly. Have you considered that maybe your ex did understand most things you would tell her, she just thought you were insufferably annoying? Touch some grass, man. It's good for you.
/r/Divorce_Men15/05/26 04:26 AM
1

So...you weren't a personality match, and you're disappointed that being tall and having a lot of money was not enough to make up for that fact. And now you've decided that every woman you could date (an archetype of a person) might also not like your personality. Rejection hurts but this is a strange way to cope with it. Were you even married and divorced?
/r/Divorce_Men15/05/26 03:45 AM
1

I went and found the whole piece and read it from beginning to end to see whether the entire thing came across as misogynistic as this excerpt, or if I was unfairly taking this excerpt out of context and needed to contextualize. I also read a bit about the author's background including his issues with his mother. And then I went to your post history, where you said you just got out of a 4 year relationship and you also said this: > I pretty much live in a box. Mentally and physically. I work fro…
/r/Divorce_Men15/05/26 03:40 AM
1

Graying isn’t a big deal at 45, it is expected. As for being overweight you can fix that and you’d be surprised how much easier it is to lose weight when you get out of bad relationship.
/r/Divorce_Men14/05/26 10:32 PM
3

Your ex is a genius. Everyone knows that the best thing to do when you feel your spouse is financially abusive, is to continue to not make your own income and depend on that person for money! I am glad you’ve seen the error of your ways.
/r/Divorce_Men14/05/26 03:10 PM
3

Asking her to get a job for 10 years is akin to abuse and you are a monster
/r/Divorce_Men14/05/26 02:42 PM
1

So my parents stayed together for us and at the time I was relieved when my dad moved back in. Because I was 5 and was upset about him moving out of course. But I wish he’d stood his ground. I wish they’d divorced because the rest of my childhood sucked. They hated each other. But he eventually just rolled over and let her have her way with everything and she was crazy so that meant a crazy person was ruling our household while he worked 2 jobs like a dog and she spent it all. They had no money …
/r/Divorce_Men14/05/26 01:58 PM
2

You’ve never met a divorced person who took responsibility, that’s wild.
/r/Divorce_Men14/05/26 12:14 PM
2

Don’t have a kid yet. These are major things and kids worsen things. Specifically if she’s enmeshed with her family it gets worse with the arrival of children. Either deeper enmeshment or drama as a result of the baby breaking enmeshment patterns causing someone (mom many times) to get upset.
/r/Divorce_Men14/05/26 12:14 PM
3

Ah, I thought she had no job at all for some reason. So you have full custody and she doesn't pay any support? That sucks. Just a thought: You cannot be sure that, if she moved in with you, she would cover her portion of bills. In fact, she might spiral further and lose her income. It seems like she's on a bad path and you do not know how much it might escalate. So try not to think of this as losing an opportunity to split bills. You'd be gaining a liability.
/r/Divorce_Men13/05/26 07:54 PM
3

If your wife isn’t helping with expenses already, how is letting her move in helping you? All you would be doing is enabling her destructive addiction while risking your own sobriety and setting a poor example for your child. Stay strong. You don’t have to be sober and poor. You can work towards being sober and financially stable. Can you relocate? Talk to your lawyer about that before you make any moves. If she has no job and you can find a job in another area where things are more affordable, …
/r/Divorce_Men13/05/26 07:17 PM
2

She’ll do it again.
/r/Divorce_Men13/05/26 04:55 PM
2

Can you afford and access a therapist? You need one. You need someone in your corner as you navigate a divorce with someone who is either genuinely suicidal at times or who is not above using a suicide threat to manipulate you. If she is the latter, prepare for a rough time. Prepare means get your ducks in a row before tipping her off, and hire a therapist and a lawyer from the start. If she is out on the streets it will be by her own choice and you will need to intervene for your children’s sak…
/r/Divorce_Men13/05/26 04:51 PM
2

I am so sorry. You need help that is above the pay grade of this subreddit but I hope you can find compassion and some advice to get you started. You have been horribly abused. And though I know the law hasn’t been on your side so far, I’m unconvinced that you cannot do anything to protect your child in the event of a divorce. But you are going to need a lawyer who has experience with domestic violence. Even better if it is experience with women-on-men DV since as you have experienced, it’s not …
/r/Divorce_Men13/05/26 04:00 AM
6

My therapist once showed me a print out of the Wheel of life. You can google it. It’s all the stuff a person needs in life and if you’re missing too much of it your life basically sucks Basically there’s different reasons for depression. Sometimes it’s just fucked up chemicals in your body. Sometimes it’s a single difficult event like a job loss or a family death. Sometimes it’s that your life really does…kind of…suck. And to me that’s what you’re describing. Your life sucks. So of course you fe…
/r/Divorce_Men13/05/26 03:49 AM
3

I have been suicidal multiple times. A brain that wants to self destruct is not a healthy brain. If you’re starting to experience suicidal ideation, and I am not kidding about this one fucking bit, you need to see a professional and you need to understand that your brain has been temporarily invaded by a destructive virus that will cause your brain to tell you insidious lies. It’s an awful thing, to live with a lying brain. They won’t put you in the grippy sock hospital if you’re merely depresse…
/r/Divorce_Men13/05/26 03:40 AM
1

I’ve been there before. My marriage is still intact but only because we are both willing to do the work. Before my husband woke up from his “apathetic trance” I was in your shoes. Waking up feeling sad and empty. Eventually I realized that even though getting a divorce would be hard, staying in this had become harder. I talked to my husband about it while mentally making a 30-60-90 day plan for what I would do if I decided to leave. Doing this gave me my spark back because I finally felt in cont…
/r/Divorce_Men13/05/26 02:28 AM
1

It’s okay to realize that what you used to want isn’t what you want anymore. It doesn’t make you disloyal. Most people go through huge changes from 20-40. The goal isn’t to be a good person. Let go of being “good” or loyal or whatever other word tied to your value or morality that comes to mind when you think of getting a divorce. The goal is sustainable health. The situation you are in is not sustainably healthy. You are constantly using additional mental resources to get to “sea level” and not…
/r/Divorce_Men13/05/26 02:26 AM
2

The hard part is even when you think you’re ready, you’ll take that first step and then encounter a new challenge. Let’s say step one is moving out and formally filing. The aftermath of doing that will be hard regardless of how ready you feel right now. Encountering difficult emotions doesn’t mean you’re not ready. If that is your measure, you will constantly be at war with yourself. That is why I suggested individual therapy. You could let your therapist know that you’ve come to realize you mig…
/r/Divorce_Men13/05/26 02:07 AM
11

Your kids need you. There is absolutely no evidence to support that children are better off in a single parent household without an involved father. And there is definitely no evidence that children whose fathers die, either of natural causes or suicide, are better off. That is traumatic. You still have a purpose and value. The identity that you used to have has changed and that is destabilizing. But you are capable of rebuilding a new identity. One that isn’t about being a married men but about…
/r/Divorce_Men13/05/26 01:52 AM
2

Are you…running everything through chat gpt? What I said to believe that you’re a changed man who is ready to build a new kind of life with her What you said see if something new could be built instead of assuming the old version of us is the only version. I think these are the same thing. And you’re right you can’t force her to do that. It sounds like you’re self aware and have made great changes. Sadly you can only control you. And you seem to know that as well. I think you should seek individ…
/r/Divorce_Men13/05/26 01:46 AM
2

What do you mean by you can’t force her to heal? What do you need her to do? Do you mean that you can’t force her to forgive you, and to believe that you’re a changed man who is ready to build a new kind of life with her? If you do not even know what you need her to change, I don’t think you’re ready for divorce. At least, not due something unresolved that you need her to work on. I think you’re exhausted because you’ve put in a lot of work and you thought it would change her mind, but it hasn’t…
/r/Divorce_Men13/05/26 01:21 AM
1

Well obviously she’s pretending she’s fine in front of you because she wants you to feel like shit. You are the very last person on earth she’d want to tell about her struggles, she wants to seem like she is “winning” the divorce.
/r/Divorce_Men12/05/26 11:59 PM
5

He thinks being an “involved father” is seeing them 2 weekends of every month. He doesn’t know anything about commitment. He can’t even commit to raising his own children.
/r/Divorce_Men12/05/26 10:38 PM
14

I’m sorry. Why the fuck would someone plan in advance to only have their kids 70 nights per year? How do you define an involved dad?
/r/Divorce_Men12/05/26 10:21 PM
2

For real. Side effects can include literally dying because the withdrawal is so bad people decide they shouldn’t be alive anymore. Never ever just quit your meds, always involve your doc.
/r/Divorce_Men07/03/26 02:05 PM
1

Please don’t tell random people to quit their psych meds cold turkey. You are going to get someone killed.
/r/Divorce_Men07/03/26 02:04 PM
1

Get a diary.
/r/Divorce_Men07/03/26 02:02 PM
9

10mg thc
/r/Divorce_Men07/03/26 05:46 AM
3

That’s not what virtue signaling means
/r/Divorce_Men07/03/26 05:45 AM
2

You’re the one with your panties twisted enough to make a whole Reddit post about it.
/r/Divorce_Men07/03/26 05:42 AM
7

Womp womp. If you have time to give a fuck about this your divorce must have been a breeze because others on here have actual problems and you’re stressing about the name of a woman you don’t have to see again.
/r/Divorce_Men07/03/26 05:40 AM
4

All of this comes down to you cannot control other people. It’s not your job to save her. And actually, a divorce might be what she needs to snap out of this. Not that this is your job to trigger in her anyway because like I said: it’s not your job to save her. She has had choices. Refusing all other choices except “I’m going to make the 1 person in the world who I depend on feel miserably” is irrational and self destructive. Oh no, consequences! Yes, that’s what happens when you treat the one h…
/r/Divorce_Men01/03/26 11:48 PM
1

Endless talking and talking gives the illusion of “working on it” without needing any real work. And it’s a great way to burn out. Has your wife asked you to make any specific changes that you have agreed to? And same question but reverse: what have you asked her to change that she has agreed to? Negotiation, compromise, communicating and clarifying one another’s boundaries…that’s what all of the talking should be doing. If it’s just endless back and forth, score keeping, venting, etc then it’s …
/r/Divorce_Men27/02/26 12:50 AM
1

Something tells me you’re leaving out some context but assuming you’re not, and it’s actually your wife who is the melodramatic attention seeker and not you: Stop leaving your phone at home. When she asks about you, tell her what you’re doing and when you expect to return. You don’t owe her hours of interaction, just text her so it’s in writing and she can’t claim that you’re “disappearing.” De-escalate and diffuse as much as possible. Not because you owe her that but because your kids are watch…
/r/Divorce_Men25/02/26 02:51 PM
1

Correct
/r/Divorce_Men25/02/26 06:42 AM
0

What are some ways your ex made you feel appreciated that stopped during the marriage? Was it always sex or was it other things?
/r/Divorce_Men15/12/25 08:45 PM
0

What are some ways your ex made you feel appreciated that stopped during the marriage? Was it always sex or was it other things?
/r/Divorce_Men15/12/25 08:45 PM
1

What do you mean by that, were the women making you feel appreciated or do you mean that you appreciated the women?
/r/Divorce_Men15/12/25 08:44 PM
5

I’m sorry. The pain does end and the only way out of it is through. The crying stops eventually and until then, take care.
/r/Divorce_Men09/12/25 08:49 PM
1

That makes sense
/r/Divorce_Men08/12/25 06:06 PM
2

I’m sorry to hear that. When you went to therapy what was it like? I’m curious how couples therapy goes when one or both people don’t want to really work on it. I’ve only been to individual therapy where obviously I volunteered to go so I want the outcome to be positive. Seems like tons of guys in here have experienced going to therapy with a woman who doesn’t want the outcome to be staying married
/r/Divorce_Men08/12/25 06:05 PM
1

That is a failure on the therapists part for sure. I know therapy is a supposedly regulated field but to me it seems like there are so many different approaches and methods that it might as well be unregulated. Say you had a tumor, there might be 1-3 different treatment plans to choose from. All of them structured and evidence based. Knowing that my aunt is a marriage counselor who just divorced and is on boyfriend #5 while her credit card debt situation ruins her just makes me even more skeptic…
/r/Divorce_Men08/12/25 01:58 PM
2

This is very interesting and helpful thank you. So it sounds like she was constantly deflecting or explaining a “cause” for whatever it is she did wrong. “I was an asshole to you because of my childhood” - this sort of thing? And how does that first topic (your ex wife never admitting fault to things) relate to the second topic (what they say they want isn’t what they want)?
/r/Divorce_Men08/12/25 01:48 PM
2

That’s brutal. How is her relationship to that guy now, do you know? I wonder how their dynamic changed once she didn’t need “saving” from you anymore and he actually had to be in a real relationship with her. Sometimes I wonder if the affair partner realizes what a pain in the ass the person is after the divorce is over and they no longer have a “villain” to bond over.
/r/Divorce_Men08/12/25 01:44 PM
3

Good for you. That sucks, good luck to that new guy. How you get them is how you lose them.
/r/Divorce_Men08/12/25 01:43 PM
6

I can’t stand when people label everything as anger/yelling. I think it’s a persons way of saying “I feel threatened by you right now” which they could feel due to any number of reasons not just because someone was actually enraged. Some people are not emotionally mature enough to realize this, if they feel threatened they immediately assume that must be because you threatened them in some way. How did she act after that specific session? Did she quit that therapist soon after that?
/r/Divorce_Men08/12/25 01:42 PM
2

Thank you for sharing that. How do you think taking physical intimacy off the table impacted your relationship? Did it accelerate the problems that were already there? Why was that suggested in the first place? Were one or both of you dissatisfied with your sex life? I’m fascinated by this because as a woman I don’t think my needs are the same. When my marriage is in a rough spot, sex is the last thing on my mind. My husband could still have it any day of the week if I said green light, and view…
/r/Divorce_Men08/12/25 01:39 PM
1

At least the psychologist disagreed with your ex. You paid almost $1000 for some professional validation. Depending on the situation, that could have been worth it just for a reassuring “okay I’m not crazy even the expert sees what I’m seeing” What kind of accusations did your ex hurl at you? I hate when people say you’re arguing when you disagree with someone and want to engage in a conversation about that. Or even, if you do get angry, but it’s in response to them acting insane.
/r/Divorce_Men08/12/25 01:34 PM
5

I’m not trying to be rude but this sounds like an ad bot. Who is Becki? Lol
/r/Divorce_Men08/12/25 01:32 PM
2

It’s incredible that you had so many therapists who wouldn’t recognize the lack of reciprocation and demand fair time to each of you to talk. That seems so basic. I wonder if when men dominate a session, if therapists speak up about it more often. We are used to women endlessly airing out their feelings and complaints. Men act more stoically, as a norm. Are you divorcing your current wife right now or still giving therapy a shot?
/r/Divorce_Men08/12/25 01:30 PM
3

Was she planning to leave for another man?
/r/Divorce_Men08/12/25 06:54 AM
3

We all fuck up. If you’re an idiot so am I, I’ve trusted a lot of people I shouldn’t have and made excuses and bought theirs
/r/Divorce_Men08/12/25 06:53 AM
1

She basically said she shouldn’t have to learn something new, that is crazy. I agree people talk about compatibility as though it is a static quality and as though humans stop developing and growing prior to meeting their partners, so everything must be a perfect fit otherwise it’s incompatible. This is just rigidity, that divorce lawyer on TikTok talks about it as a leading cause of divorce. One person will be rigid and the marriage eventually fails
/r/Divorce_Men08/12/25 06:48 AM
1

You’re used to telling women this aren’t you
/r/Divorce_Men08/12/25 06:45 AM
3

That is awful to go through but I know what you mean. And you never have to wonder if you should have “kept trying” Hope you and your kids are alright now
/r/Divorce_Men08/12/25 06:37 AM
2

That sounds so selfish I’m sorry
/r/Divorce_Men08/12/25 06:36 AM
0

Sorry for touching grass too often
/r/Divorce_Men08/12/25 06:35 AM
3

How did she behave in therapy? I’m curious how someone acts in therapy when they already are set against it working
/r/Divorce_Men08/12/25 06:31 AM
5

Ten years, my god. You’re a saint for holding on for so long.
/r/Divorce_Men08/12/25 06:30 AM
1

Idk what that means
/r/Divorce_Men08/12/25 06:29 AM
3

What is an example of something valuable you learned from counseling, even if it didn’t save the marriage? On a side note, I feel like the entire system is designed to validate the woman's perspective and experience. That is fascinating to me, can you say more about that? Or is there a specific example of this from when you went to counseling?
/r/Divorce_Men08/12/25 06:28 AM
1

What is it like to go to therapy with someone who doesn’t want to fix it? They stonewall, endless defensiveness, anger, manipulation, sarcasm, faking it?
/r/Divorce_Men08/12/25 06:04 AM
1

Did you know she was lying? Like would she say things that you knew were not true to the therapist? Or did you also not know she was lying at the time? Yeah there is no fixing a person who won’t even tell the truth.
/r/Divorce_Men08/12/25 06:03 AM
1

Fair enough, I forgot that was even my username. It’s a long and boring story but I’m not a man hater, this is authentic. Why did your wife agree to therapy? Whose idea was it? She must have been pretty bad if the therapist fired her. Is she still with that other guy? Does she ever see the kids?
/r/Divorce_Men08/12/25 06:02 AM
1

I mean I get it but I was sorta looking for real anecdotes, did this happen to you and how?
/r/Divorce_Men08/12/25 05:53 AM
1

She’s draining the accounts, isn’t that a problem? Keep records, do you have a lawyer?
/r/Divorce_Men08/12/25 04:42 AM
9

Yeah it’s wrong to break your vows for a trivial reason without even attempting to work on it. But you should go through with it so that she is free of you and can find a man with character and maturity. 👍
/r/Divorce_Men08/12/25 04:37 AM
2

This is it. It’s never over. And they only confess to whatever you caught them doing, nothing more.
/r/Divorce_Men08/12/25 04:33 AM
4

She seems so reasonable!
/r/Divorce_Men08/12/25 04:32 AM
2

Wow. That makes me mad. If she’s not feeling craved and it’s that bad, she can do the honorable thing and end the marriage before hopping to another dick, or keep working on the marriage and honor her word. She’s not special, everyone feels like the spark is dying from time to time. Not everyone cheats.
/r/Divorce_Men08/12/25 04:32 AM
16

She’s probably trickle truthing It was just this one time (there are months of deleted messages and a Snapchat he doesn’t know exists) Okay it was multiple times but it was only texting never further Okay we also kissed one time Or two Fine okay, I slept with him. Only once and it was the same week I told you that you were neglecting me, so really you drove me to do this!
/r/Divorce_Men08/12/25 04:30 AM
9

How has she reacted? Is she remorseful? What is her explanation? Personally I’d be done. My spouse wants to whore around, fine, but not while I’m at home holding up my end of the vows he doesn’t honor. Oh and complaining about me to their dick of the week? Complaining about ME while THEY are cheating on me? Fuck out of here. Hope you got the screenshots.
/r/Divorce_Men08/12/25 04:28 AM
7

She does it to piss you off. Someone once told me “they push your buttons because the button is connected to something. Cut the wire and the button is useless to them.” So I stopped showing any response. Look up “gray rock technique” it’s a way to deal with toxic people who enjoy getting a reaction from you. The reaction feeds them, it gives them satisfaction. It might feel like losing, to bite your tongue instead of respond, but it is winning because you deny them what they want from you.
/r/Divorce_Men06/12/25 05:12 PM
3

I hear of this happening sometimes. The dad doesn’t realize what having a baby means for how it will change his life and he then blames the mother. “This is hard because you’re bad at this” becomes his belief, when in reality this is hard because…babies are hard. Even in the most traditional of homes, men do not shit on their wives like this. This is reprehensible abusive behavior. Hear us when we say: this is not normal or healthy or acceptable. This is abuse. My husbands grandparents were very…
/r/RedPillWomen06/12/25 05:09 PM
1

Oh my god. I am so sorry you’ve been treated cruelly. Please listen when we say THIS IS NOT NORMAL, and that this is HIM, not YOU. He is abusive. His abuse is making your (normal) emotional state postpartum even worse. It’s normal to be weepy after having a baby but if you’re being torn down and verbally abused every day it’s no wonder you’re crying all of the time. New mothers need encouragement and support, they need to be lifted up. And ENOUGH with the idea that women are borne already knowin…
/r/RedPillWomen06/12/25 04:42 PM
3

I don’t regret it but I’m glad I was in a position to be able to pivot. In my country you can rack up a lot of student loans for your career and then have to work to pay them off. Stay out of debt as much as possible and you will have options. Debt robs you of your freedom and choice.
/r/RedPillWomen06/12/25 04:39 PM
3

Please do, I’m also fond of “emotional tampon” lol
/r/Divorce_Men06/12/25 01:27 AM
0

Wow. Thousands of men here going through divorce, some of them dealing with worse than you, and yet you’re the only person I’ve seen resort to a pathetic racist rant.
/r/Divorce_Men06/12/25 01:08 AM
3

Glad she’s an ex
/r/Divorce_Men06/12/25 01:06 AM
17

It’s never just a friend. She also doesn’t care about him like she thinks she does, he’s just her emotional support human because she can’t bear to be alone with herself. So she monkey branches to avoid feeling the consequences of her decisions. Don’t be surprised if she and this just a friend burn hot and then burn out and then she’s onto her next emotional support human, sucking the life out of man after man because she cannot sustain herself.
/r/Divorce_Men05/12/25 08:48 PM
1

That would kill me, I’m so sorry
/r/Divorce_Men04/12/25 03:35 PM
1

I get it, I don’t think those things are trivial but I would consider them to be under the umbrella of “for better and for worse” that most people say in vows. Like what did we think better and worse meant? I know people shouldn’t stay miserable forever but there are going to be tough times and I’d hate if my partner left for that. Did she attempt to treat her perimenopause at all? Those massive hormonal changes are huge and sometimes people just live like that even if it’s ruining their lives. …
/r/Divorce_Men04/12/25 01:54 PM
1

What were her reasons? I am just curious because so many people say it was trivial reasons and I wonder why anyone is willing to go through a divorce for small things, it seems insane
/r/Divorce_Men04/12/25 01:08 AM
2

Yes, I identify heavily with what you said. I frustrated my husband for YEARS with communication that, in his eyes, wasn’t even communication at all. I led with my feelings, and I never got around to just saying what I wanted from him. I wanted to lead him to that conclusion without ever actually telling him what it was. The thing I had to work through, was that I was terrified of being direct. I didn’t want to be seen as demanding, bossy, bitchy, nagging, etc. Ironically, over the years my pent…
/r/Divorce_Men03/12/25 02:54 AM
7

Walkway wife is a term that used to mean something very specific and like many terms, has been warped and broadened and misused to the point it means nothing. If the first time someone communicates a grievance is when they’ve already decided to leave they aren’t a walk away wife. Years ago when I first heard of the walk away wife, it was defined as a wife who’d communicated her needs and complaints repeatedly to her husband to no avail. So she gave up and stopped raising issues, began to emotion…
/r/Divorce_Men03/12/25 01:40 AM
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