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Rarerestofbeans Archive

View 2 posts and 61 comments by Rarerestofbeans on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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4

That’s cavemen behavior. Extremely problematic. There are less painful ways to communicate your feelings.
/r/RedPillWomen09/07/23 02:55 PM
10

Having sex with someone I’m attracted to is a natural impulse for me, so I wouldn’t have to make a man wait. I do however find it necessary to delay sex for myself personally. I find that I become attached to the people that I have sex with. It is unsafe for me to risk becoming attached to someone I hardly know, so I choose to take my time with getting to know them.
/r/RedPillWomen14/04/23 09:06 AM
8

I think this happens with anyone who steps out of their niche. If you want to create content focused on different topics, you should make new accounts to locate an audience who has interest in your new stuff. The algorithms are essentially sending stuff to the people who followed you for X content and they are now receiving Y content instead and as a result, your views are dropping
/r/RedPillWomen18/01/23 12:15 PM
1

Yes that’s still my goal. Some of my confusion recently came up because my boyfriend and I are discussing engagement and moving together in the next 4 months. He asked me if I would be the one doing the bulk of the cleaning as I will be working from home. I immediately said yes but then the fear crept in that I’d fall into this pattern of doing all of the work while also splitting expenses with him down the middle. I always felt weird about this relationship dynamic. Being completely in my ego, …
/r/RedPillWomen16/01/23 12:01 AM
1

Sarcasm isn’t desired at all. I always expected my partner to earn more than me. Perhaps I should’ve titled it differently but come on 🙄
/r/RedPillWomen15/01/23 11:54 PM
6

Thank you for the rational response 💗
/r/RedPillWomen15/01/23 07:27 PM
3

This would be more so for lifestyle. I think it’s only fair if I have more resources to contribute more in terms of dining out, or traveling. It would be less burdensome for him and it would be nice for us to do these things together. For a very long time he was the one to pay for 95% of these expenses so it’s a bit of a unique shift for me. In terms of me staying at home, that’s a non-negotiable. I’m trying to wrap my head around the dynamic shifting back to him contributing more when I stop wo…
/r/RedPillWomen15/01/23 07:26 PM
2

I think the sudden shift is unnecessarily confusing me. I’m trying to navigate the concept of it being fair to us both. I work from home, so I imagined also being the one maintaining our home even before having kids despite also being the higher earner. Something about this dynamic seems unbalanced to me? I think because it is. But my boyfriend has floated the idea of us getting a cleaner. My ego made me want to take on caring for the home since I’m there anyway. I think having a cleaner would b…
/r/RedPillWomen15/01/23 07:24 PM
3

Don’t let your kids watch reality tv. Me and my mom primarily spent time together by watching reality TV. And I can say for certain that it shaped my view of sex from a very early age. I remember thinking to myself that relationships were unimportant that I could have sex without being in a committed relationship, as early as the age of 10. This is because I watched TV shows like the bad girls club and jersey shore where people would “smush” or “smash” each other casually. Now being an adult, I …
/r/RedPillWomen16/12/22 06:05 AM
12

Because she works as well and is maintaining home, meal planning, and prepping for two people. It would be less work if she were single
/r/RedPillWomen08/11/22 04:31 AM
1

Maybe you responded before I edited my comment? It doesn’t screen everyone out.
/r/RedPillWomen03/11/22 04:15 PM
1

Safety regarding increased risk of having HPV or Genital Herpes. Risk of getting these STIs increases with an increased number of partners. Often people who have them host these viruses without being aware. Herpes is not a virus that is tested in a regular STI panel. Most doctors refuse to test for it unless symptoms are visibly present. And it might take years before an outbreak occurs if ever.
/r/RedPillWomen03/11/22 04:08 PM
2

Yes. I’ve had a couple of partners who informed me that their body count was 50 and 100. I cannot even understand how that’s possible. Probably would’ve made me think twice before intimacy. Not because of values but just sexual safety.
/r/RedPillWomen03/11/22 07:55 AM
3

😂
/r/RedPillWomen03/11/22 07:54 AM
11

Please don’t allow yourself to deal with this. If you can’t make the choice for yourself, make the choice for your children. After much thinking, you’ve made it very clear what boundaries you need to put down for yourself. His response was to blast through those boundaries and create his own commandments as to how things should be run. Not taking any of your concerns into account. Maybe your husband isn’t a bad guy, but his mind has been infiltrated with paranoid, controlling, unloving, angry th…
/r/RedPillWomen28/10/22 02:47 AM
6

This friend recognizes her naivety now but she was honestly quite irritated with me and the friend who were trying to bring it to her attention that she had made a poor decision. Basically said she wanted to live in ignorant bliss. But she also acknowledged that she has a tendency to not fully think through her decisions but decided that in the end she trusts that this guy will pay off the car in a timely manner because he is financially responsible (23 years old and owns his own apartment as a …
/r/RedPillWomen26/10/22 11:33 AM
26

I think that it’s important for friends to hold space for our poor decisions to a certain extent. I have a friend whose made one of the most grave financial decisions. She took out a car loan in her own name for a guy she’s only been with for 4 months. I let her know my perspective. Maybe to the point of overkill. Because legitimately I was so upset with my friend for making such a poor choice. It was actually me and one other friend who felt this strongly. I’m not sure how but I almost veered s…
/r/RedPillWomen26/10/22 01:26 AM
2

Yes and that’s ok too. A lot of life is trial and error. Of course there are forums where you can go out and seek advice and try your best to align yourself with what people think the “best” way to engage with life is. But sometimes learning is best done with actual experience. You did something. Didn’t like it because now you have to sit with some uncomfortable feelings. But the great part is that those feelings go away eventually. And best case scenario is you get to use this experience to inf…
/r/RedPillWomen22/10/22 01:55 PM
9

Also 23. I can’t really tell you what I don’t know. But I do know that there are still good men out there, I just don’t know where to find them 🙈 That aside, about you having sex with this person. I for a while was deep into hookup culture. After a while, it clicked for me that there was this pattern where I would find someone I was attracted to, hookup with them, become attached, and then feel empty. How I managed to fool myself that hooking up with people made sense for me, I have no clue. But…
/r/RedPillWomen22/10/22 01:42 PM
8

I have a spiritual perspective to relationships. I try to be as intentional with dating as possible but every relationship I’ve had that has ended, I’ve learned so much about myself. I know that each relationship I have that doesn’t evolve into something more is there to give me the opportunity to discover more and more of who I am and help me to learn about what it is that I really want out of my life. Regrets about losing people is silly. If they were meant to be a part of your life, they woul…
/r/RedPillWomen12/10/22 05:50 PM
11

What do you hope to accomplish by confronting him about it?
/r/RedPillWomen14/09/22 04:33 AM
51

You guys haven't been seeing each other long. You don't want to date a liar. Just tell him you're not feeling the connection and that your dynamic felt more fluid the way it was before
/r/RedPillWomen13/09/22 12:30 PM
4

I agree with it. I broke up with my boyfriend 6 months into the relationship after realizing that he wasn't going to invest enough into the relationship. I broke up with him. He said that he understood. He came back promising me the relationship that I needed. I declined. Tried again. I declined. And again. Until I decided to give it another try. And this second time around with our relationship, I have no doubt that he probably loves me more than I love him. He's had a total 180 in how he moves…
/r/RedPillWomen25/08/22 03:49 PM
5

It isn't. You deserve to be with someone who loves you so deeply that committing to you isn't even a question. Settling for less than that, and even worst, fighting for less than that is not self respecting.
/r/RedPillWomen25/08/22 03:10 PM
1

Track your calories and eat at a deficit of what your maintenance calories are. If you been 190 pounds for some time now, you have probably been eating at maintenance. I use an app called cronometer to track the foods I eat. It's pretty easy because most foods you can scan. Normaly I enter the weight of food in grams, and from there it provides a breakdown on the macronutrients of the food you eat along with vitamin / mineral content. You also probably want to find more low calorie foods that yo…
/r/RedPillWomen17/08/22 04:24 PM
1

Yes. Especially if I'm in a position where I'm walking somewhere, it's almost a near guarantee that I will be harrassed. But now that I drive, my cat calling experiences have dwindled significantly. But last month, I experienced three separate incidents of some form of catcalling or harassment. Incident 1: While at the gym, this weird guy stood in front of me and stared as I did cable kickbacks. He eventually chose to sit down on the machine adjacent to me, and just continued staring. I was hone…
/r/RedPillWomen15/08/22 05:38 PM
10

I’ve seen so many people find the loves of their lives later in life. It sounds like you might be suffering with low confidence and aren’t aware of your worth. Your focus needs to be in doing the things that build your self esteem. Otherwise you will ironically manifest your fear into reality, stay stuck in relationships like this one that aren’t serving you, and not achieve your goals of finding someone who loves you (which is an unselfish act, not what this man is giving you).
/r/RedPillWomen09/08/22 01:14 PM
73

Yes. He doesn’t want the same as you. At least not in the timeline you’re expecting.
/r/RedPillWomen09/08/22 01:34 AM
2

I meant to make a note that we were just dating. He's expressed wanting to marry me but I've let him know my concerns. He's asked me to give him some time before making a choice. After some time, I've made an error in telling him that I reciprocate the same feelings and want to get married, which I do. But that's all they are, feelings. I know that it wouldn't be a rational choice as of right now, as he's not in a financial position to support a family / me staying at home for the first couple o…
/r/RedPillWomen04/08/22 07:52 PM
1

You're not being unreasonable. Security comes before all, and you don't have that. I don't think any of us can really answer the question as to what the nature of your next step should be because ultimately it's up to you to make the choices necessary to create the life you want for yourself. I'm struggling with the same. In a relationship with some who I question will be able to provide. He asked me to stick with him to show me that he can prove that he is capable, and I love him enough to try …
/r/RedPillWomen04/08/22 06:50 PM
21

That requires the discipline of being able to pause before speaking. Before saying how you feel, take a moment to see if what you’re feeling is rational. If it is not, you keep it to yourself and utilize your alone time to figure out why these irrational feelings are coming up for you. If it is rational, you hold compassion for your boyfriend for not immediately understanding how the event might affect you, and you nudge him towards understanding by expressing how you feel in a concise manner wi…
/r/RedPillWomen27/07/22 01:07 PM
1

I'm currently doing a bulk to build muscle. I've gained over 10 pounds since May 20th by lifting weights and eating in a caloric surplus. At the beginning of my journey, I actually unintentionally lost weight + muscle mass because I was doing pretty labor intensive workouts and not eating enough to build muscle / gain weight. Your goal should be to eat at a caloric deficit + working out in order to lose weight. ​ Here are some of the tools I use to reach my goals: ​ Fit Index Body Composition ca…
/r/RedPillWomen26/07/22 07:05 PM
5

Left over couscous salad, phylo wrapped brie and coriander/mustard crusted salmon I made last night. On a normal day however, it would probably be a smack. Normally I have two breakfasts, and then a couple of snacks. Trying to do better 😫
/r/RedPillWomen27/01/22 04:32 AM
3

What makes your SO a provider if you’re splitting everything 50/50?
/r/RedPillWomen15/01/22 09:24 PM
2

Maybe I’m missing where this was said to be anti-feminist?
/r/RedPillWomen12/01/22 11:02 PM
24

It says a lot about a person’s future behavior when you tell them that their actions are causing some sort of harm to you and their reaction is only to justify it. I’m sure your grappling with whether or not what he says makes sense. You have to decide whether or not your ok with someone justifying their unkind behavior over correcting it. As for how to deal with it, the first commenter had a great response. Let him know that you empathize with him and will do what you can do but you’re both str…
/r/RedPillWomen02/01/22 02:38 PM
18

Also remember that when men say go easy on the makeup, they mean literally don’t be a cake face. Not to not wear makeup that looks like makeup. I wear winged eyeliner every day and heavy mascara on my bottom lashes and have had men compliment me on the fact that I don’t wear makeup / am natural 😂
/r/RedPillWomen31/12/21 02:02 PM
2

I know this is an old comment but I just wanted to add that this theory that you’ve created is not acknowledging a crucial part of a woman’s biology and psyche. Which is that when we find a man in Group A, and sleep with him the moment we get an inclination to, there’s a high likelihood that we haven’t properly vetted them and will attach. There’s all this talk of becoming an Alpha widow and not being successful in attaining commitment after the “final exam” but very little discussion about maki…
/r/RedPillWomen31/12/21 01:51 PM
6

I’ve always liked braces on women. I think they’re cute. They somewhat detract from elegance but you can make up for that with dress.
/r/RedPillWomen16/11/21 08:02 PM
4

Ok. I don’t think this is appropriate for this subreddit love. I’ve seen some non-empathetic responses on here when it comes to dealing with naturally occurring emotional turbulence. This would be appropriate for r/venting. You might also went to check out r/bpd. Only because I’m noticing that your thought patterns in this post seem to align with a lot of what I see in this subreddit. But I’m no expert. This is a really emotionally intense experience your having. One that doesn’t make sense to h…
/r/RedPillWomen10/11/21 12:18 AM
4

Do you have BPD?
/r/RedPillWomen10/11/21 12:11 AM
1

I’m not asking for advice here anymore lmao
/r/RedPillWomen11/10/21 02:56 PM
23

I have no advice to offer that I feel would be well received at the current moment, but I wanted to say that I truly empathize with you. I can imagine the pain you’re experiencing, and you don’t deserve it.
/r/RedPillWomen11/10/21 01:43 PM
1

The second one is called bread crumbing. I have been on the receiving end of this, and being someone who is easily emotionally attached to people it’s probably the most painful way. If anything, I’d prefer for someone to be straight up with me. Just a quick text. I have also “broken up” with people. Friends really and the way they lashed out on me was scary to say the least. I think my mistake was telling them what they did wrong so directly. I feel like there’s a better way I could do this so a…
/r/RedPillWomen11/10/21 01:38 PM
1

As for how serious. Not very serious. But we were exclusive + got tested before ever being intimate and I made it clear that I don’t date casually before we began dating. It just ended up becoming casual eventually as he stopped putting in as much effort as he did initially. And also over time as the must diminished, we got to know each other better as people and turned out to be very very different from one another. We didn’t share very strong feelings for each other. I do have a disordered att…
/r/RedPillWomen11/10/21 05:52 AM
1

We just broke up, but two to three, sometimes four times a week. Normally he would sleep over. We dis have some long pauses in between a couple of times. Once I get sick and couldn’t see him as I thought I had Covid and quarantined for 10 days. He had Covid and quarantined for 10 days. And then recently, he took a 10 day break from seeing me as he was in a low point / was having a hybrid of legal and financial issues. We just reconnected a few days ago but he’s still showing disinterest. I spoke…
/r/RedPillWomen11/10/21 05:48 AM
2

Lol
/r/RedPillWomen11/10/21 05:19 AM
5

Honestly same, I know if I were broken up with, I’d want a text. Setting up a dinner, or even a phone call seems awkward.
/r/RedPillWomen11/10/21 02:02 AM
2

Exactly, I need to end things for closure. I’d prefer that it not be long winded but this is my first time ever doing this, so I’m looking for help online and all I get is “don’t do it over the phone” or “make sure not to break his heart”. But I don’t think they’re considering relationships ended over a lack of investment. I’d suppose the rules are a bit different in this case where he doesn’t really seem to see me as a partner regardless of our title. That being said, after spending some time t…
/r/RedPillWomen11/10/21 01:20 AM
5

We were in an exclusive relationship for the past 4 months, and even so ghosting is never appropriate.
/r/RedPillWomen11/10/21 12:33 AM
3

I don’t believe in leaving things unsettled 😕
/r/RedPillWomen11/10/21 12:26 AM
4

That’s not nice
/r/RedPillWomen10/10/21 11:53 PM
7

ignores the fact that purpose of monogamy isn’t only to preserve the feeling of loyalty, This part was referring to the event that loyalty or lack thereof was no longer concern. There are additional factors that come into play outside of this. Side girls don’t get to harbour offspring. The point of side girls is purely sexual variety, they don’t get the privilege of having your kids. That’s for the main girl. You don’t get to decide that. Additionally, I’ve engaged in two open relationships and …
/r/RedPillWomen27/09/21 06:45 PM
15

This ignores the fact that purpose of monogamy isn’t only to preserve the feeling of loyalty, but also is necessary to protect the household in preventing illegitimate children, the possibility of an emotional connection being established with a stranger to the household, thus ruining the security of the household (the primary purpose of marriage is household security) and curtailing the risk of unnecessary venereal diseases, including the ones that are not preventable even with a barrier method…
/r/RedPillWomen27/09/21 06:04 PM
11

Red pill doesn’t mean relinquishing your desires. Clear communication is a must in every relationship. Don’t be afraid to tell your partner what your needs are as long as you’re present enough to listen and respond to what he tells you in return. In this case, he is stressed from work and you wouldn’t have known that had you not spoken to him about it first. Edited: I used the wrong word initially. I meant Red Pill doesn’t mean having to relinquish your desires.
/r/RedPillWomen16/09/21 06:23 PM
7

No need. I wasn’t insulting you. I understood what you meant.
/r/RedPillWomen16/09/21 05:14 PM
24

The writing of a girl who’s afraid that communicating her needs is aggressive.
/r/RedPillWomen16/09/21 05:09 PM
1

Wondering why I’m getting so many dislikes on this. I’m Gen Z, and how I was informed about sex was a bit different from other generations. I learned about sex through reality tv, where casual sex was the norm. It wasn’t until I actually had casual sex when I was forced to understand that there’s no such thing as casual sex. I’m not promoting that other girls be promiscuous. But it took first hand experience for me to understand sex the way I do now. Some learn from others, but that’s never been…
/r/RedPillWomen13/09/21 12:34 AM
5

Agreed. I think some of us are conflating HVM with perfection. That just isn’t true.
/r/RedPillWomen11/09/21 11:52 AM
3

Until then, take some time to think about what to you is a High Value Man. Is he himself perfect and incapable of sin? Or is he a human who is going to come to you with some battle scars that you’re going to love anyway, and not in despite of, because they made him into the person he is. That’s the kind of love we should be looking for from any man regardless of how much money they have. —— I will add that the last high value man that I was with shared an insight of his that I couldn’t fully agr…
/r/RedPillWomen11/09/21 10:38 AM
3

Always remember that every individual is different. Personally, I don’t judge people for their past. I utilize it for context to have better insight for some of the behaviors they present to me in the present moment but that is the only purpose it serves. Judging them is not. That being said, when I look for a “High Value” person. I’m looking for high value traits. One being high self-awareness, intellect, and with that, I feel comes an ability to understand that humans rarely ever make it out o…
/r/RedPillWomen11/09/21 10:30 AM
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