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Real_Vents Archive

View 0 posts and 303 comments by Real_Vents on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
2

Damn, so basically a parent lol
/r/PurplePillDebate22/03/22 06:15 AM
22

Why not, actually talk to him like a person?
/r/seduction26/02/22 05:53 AM
2

I'm curious, what would your opinion be on a man practicing semen retention or nofap?
/r/PurplePillDebate11/11/21 08:44 PM
7

It can be predatory, but you're right that it's not all age gap relationships. I have a female friend who married someone 10 years older than them while she was 20; they're happy and have a child together.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/11/21 09:06 PM
4

This is why a lot of older people are insufferable, looks fade over time. When we're old no younger person will want to be with someone 30+ years older than them for a relationship.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/11/21 09:01 PM
1

I would say that's a bit of a logical fallacy. How young are we talking here? Maturity is not always guaranteed with age, we can see that with how some young people are mature and some older people are immature. There's also a much greater younger population, chances of finding someone who is mature and not jaded are higher than someone who is still looking or single for whatever reason when they're older.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/11/21 08:58 PM
1

The other way around from what, Procreation is a social construct? Lol I made no such claims. I was talking about two separate ideas. I would say it's a fact sexual pleasure (or sexual drive) is the biological aspect as you mentioned. I still stand anything about penis size, vagina shape, etc. are all social constructs. I also agree with you marriage is also a social construct, they're not something that matter in objective reality, but as a collective had assigned values and worth on them becau…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/11/21 08:27 PM
2

This makes sense, although I would compare this no different from locker room talk that some men have. Both are pretty ego-centric when it's brought up outside their respective spaces.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/11/21 08:00 PM
2

People have to remember a penis and vagina were originally meant for procreation, these preferences beyond that are simply social constructs. It's kind of interesting to see how the direction of relationships have evolved more so to adopt for sexuality/pleasure.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/11/21 07:56 PM
1

It's like people who watch too much porn imo
/r/PurplePillDebate10/11/21 07:52 PM
13

I can't think of a more accurate description for the both of them, this is it.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/11/21 07:47 PM
3

I think those who want something more serious do intend though (or wish) their first love to be their last one. Funny enough though marriage doesn't guarantee anything.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/11/21 12:20 AM
1

Many people adopt and take certain labels to such extremes, and make it their entire life, using it as justification to shun or dismiss their behavior involving others instead of using it as a mere tool for themselves. A lot of it is virtue signaling to seek validation from others, it's an over extension of their sense of self when they try to impose critical ideologies onto other people. We can't nor should try to control other people. We can be critical on ourselves to improve and manage our w…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/11/21 07:23 PM
2

Yes, I would consider dating/marriage, but there are a lot of problems with the way both "red pilled" and "FDS" labels are taken to extremes by idealists who make it their whole life instead of using it as a mere tool for themselves. There's a huge difference about being critical on ourselves to improve and manage our own life, but to apply and do this onto others is where a lot of people go down the wrong path. We can't nor are able to control others, to overextend our sense of self in this man…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/11/21 07:13 PM
0

Bold of you to assume the planet cares, or any other floating rock in space.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/11/21 06:10 PM
1

You've taken my comment out of context, I made no such claims. Your topic about unconditional love and conditional love is a totally different one from OP's post. Edit: Maybe this image can give a bit more context to what I was trying to convey in my original comment. It's my personal opinion so feel free to judge it. I apologize for conveying it as some fact of life when it's not per say, I didn't reference any scientific articles clearly.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/11/21 12:50 AM
2

This. I haven't been in a relationship yet, but have learned a lot regarding how to function and be a teamplayer with friends, family, and housemates. Increasing our own self-understanding also will give us greater emotional intelligence to not only better understand ourselves, but others too since we're all just humans.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/11/21 02:59 AM
2

I don't really think so, this sounds more like a result from the patriarchy people have been conditioned to believe and follow.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/11/21 09:25 PM
1

Funny then how many woman seem to be making more money than men nowadays. There's a reason why evolutionary psychology to some don't refer to it as a real science when it's largely based on assumptions rather than evidence.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/10/21 06:15 PM
1

That is a great valid point, social connectedness, the experience of belonging to a social relationship or network, is more and more being recognized as a basic human need in scientific literature. I guess we all shared similar views, but it got pedantic in the details.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/10/21 07:09 AM
9

Way too generalizing again. Women don't inherently need to be protected and men don't inherently need to be strong in today's modern era. Most of these roles were born from and rooted in sexism way back then. There's nothing wrong with dividing and differentiating different roles for a relationship, but we are humans first and foremost, we behave and act a lot more similarly than we are different. We are breaking away from old traditional values, people have more time to think and focus on the s…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/10/21 07:01 AM
3

I actually have a post on my profile talking about how relationships born from needs don't usually last. I'd be curious if you had any QCC's about it.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/10/21 06:44 AM
24

Personally I've heard of the opposite more frequently, men seeing a woman's passionate love as needy because it's too "forward" or "dominate." I see your point though, it happens to both sexes. I think it's most common with someone who's insecure about commitment, they see it as a burden or something taking away their autonomy. Edit: clarification.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/10/21 09:26 PM
54

I feel this is too overgeneralized, both men and women want a meaningful connection with someone deep down. The relationships that last the longest and are successful are usually between people who are already comfortable with themselves and want to share life with someone as an equal. This way both individuals are a complement to each others' lives without depending on each other.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/10/21 08:49 PM
4

Those kinds of people I would say watch too much porn and social media.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/10/21 11:24 PM
1

Men and women should appeal to themselves, that in itself will make them look dependable and attractive the more energy they put in instead of giving it out. We can enjoy and truly appreciate others more this way by being more comfortable with ourselves. Individuals can then be stand together as equals, where each person can be seen as a complement to their own life without depending on them.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/10/21 07:20 PM
2

Most relationship/advice subreddits do not like pilled theology or anything talking about FDS. A mere mention will get you banned I've heard in places like r/offmychest and r/relationship_advice
/r/PurplePillDebate27/10/21 10:31 PM
3

I would argue men and women don't need each other anymore, but both think they have to be someone exceptional to even be considered. Imo relationships should be a complement to each other's lives, but people either have an inflated ego or esteem issues holding them back.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/10/21 04:16 PM
2

Nagging is probably not the best approach for this kind of situation at that point. I think it's better to have a conversation so the person can realize and accept accountability of their own doing. Nagging will likely misguide their intentions and redirect their energy at you, and blame you for the negative feelings when its all on them. A healthy person who also has high emotional intelligence will understand they're slipping on responsibility, but someone who may not have the best self-esteem…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/10/21 11:53 PM
0

Unnecessary reminders that take away a person's autonomy to think/make decisions for themselves. Especially if it's something the other person is requesting someone other than themselves to devote their time and energy on. If the person hasn't kept their word though nagging isn't going to solve anything either. At that point both people have to have a sensible conversation and have the person set out a clear deadline they chose that both people can agree on.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/10/21 11:46 PM
15

Yeah that's what they call virtue signaling. It's to boast and or make others think they're a good person, but words are cheap and hold no integrity, integrity comes from our actions.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/10/21 07:43 PM
1

Women will have the same mindset too for men, everyone wants loyalty. This is the reason many women who settle end up divorcing or breaking up later. They feel jealous and insecure about how many partners their significant other had, or question and don't think they got to fully explore their sexuality. They think they can do better
/r/PurplePillDebate26/10/21 07:26 PM
1

Isn't this what entitlement is? It shows a person has no integrity with themselves if they can't hold themselves to the same standards they want from someone. That's a red flag for both men and women
/r/PurplePillDebate26/10/21 07:19 PM
2

This doesn't really make sense, having a lot of sex doesn't really say much about a person's ability to provide anything. No one goes around with a number above their head saying how much sex they have.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/10/21 07:17 PM
1

No one here lived before the 20th century, why would we care what people in the past did in their limited times. You plan for children and a family, sex does not mean you always want a family. They had protection back then too in some form Edit: grammar
/r/PurplePillDebate26/10/21 12:48 AM
6

The reason shouldn't matter, it's not going to change the fact they fell out of love. Polite and direct is the best way to go. The reaction people will get will depend on the person's level of self-esteem and self-worth.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/10/21 08:58 AM
2

I see your point, however their ego would be threatened if they had a negative emotional reaction to it. ego-involvement The value system though as you said determines what a person will consider worthy or be of "value" to direct their energy towards. I believe that has a lot to do with a person's level of self-worth, where they direct their energy in the things they value for themselves. Edit: grammar
/r/PurplePillDebate22/10/21 11:31 PM
1

I Think some people place more importance and emphasis on how they feel than their intuition, and would rather plan or think about logistics later. So they focus and trust their feelings more.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/10/21 08:50 PM
1

Some people are purely focused on the sexual experience, for some their focus is not really the intimacy that comes from forming a romantic relationship. For some people security is not a requirement to have casual sex. If it is then our focus is likely more on finding long-term intimacy.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/10/21 08:48 PM
2

I see your point, and to that I say your feelings towards the past are 100% valid, albeit still related to esteem matters of topic. My apologies for undermining your valid preference. And true, even if a person hasn't kept themselves to the same standards it's none of my business. Their life, not mine.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/10/21 08:25 PM
1

I would still argue the value system mismatch is still an esteem issue, since their ego (their sense of self) feels threatened at something another person is doing. Healthy self-esteem are internal evaluations, not external social comparisons.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/10/21 06:54 PM
1

Personally I would say all those points are great but only relevant to the present in current circumstances and their current behavior in the relationship and towards us. Otherwise who cares if a person has slept with more people in the past, if their current behavior doesn't affect how they treat you I see no problem. You chose and are in love with someone in the present, to focus so much on someone's past when it holds no weight in the present anymore seems like an esteem issue (if their past …
/r/PurplePillDebate22/10/21 06:48 PM
1

I never said anything about low self-esteem, just potential esteem issues going on for the people in OP's post. If we get triggered by our environment then something is getting our ego involved and all worked up. We can't control others, so getting worked up over someone's past is pretty egotistical when it literally does not involve us, especially if their current behavior towards us has been great. Yet for these people who feel insecure and hurt while being in a good relationship, it shows a l…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/10/21 05:47 AM
1

The fact it's psychologically significant or important to you means it's part of your self-esteem, your sense of self, your ego. Otherwise your ego wouldn't be so involved and feel threatened by it. Edit: Healthy Self-Esteem Doesn't Create the Self-Esteem Trap of Jealousy When building self-esteem is based on social comparisons, rather than just internal evaluations, we become more prone to feelings of jealousy. If, for example, you value yourself based on how your career compares to other's, th…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/10/21 03:34 AM
2

Their comment had some valid points. I think the emotions that get triggered by such thoughts cause some people to experience those pains as if they're fresh (even if they know it's in the past, their body feels this way though which makes their feelings still valid, of course still misguided). I think it has a lot to do with esteem issues. When we base our self-esteem on social comparisons (instead of internal evaluations) it can cause issues like jealousy. In this case it involves the past, so…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/10/21 12:34 AM
3

That's interesting, I don't totally dismiss or believe it. It's kind of funny how many say men are visual beings, but it's seemingly often women who spend more time and value on looks. Many good examples in nature of males being born with colorful traits to woo female counterparts.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/10/21 06:58 AM
6

100% this, this could be said the same for single men too to an extent, but maybe most inexperienced men are more focused on getting laid and experimenting first before they feel ready to settle down.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/10/21 02:09 AM
-1

I think it depends on the girl's background and the type of energy she brings. If both people share similar backgrounds or energy it's not going to seem like either settled.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/10/21 04:07 AM
5

Good comment, sex involves consent from both individuals, use ANY protection that you can guarantee for yourself at least, if they disagree don't have sex with them. There are female and male condoms out there for penetration. There are also tongue condoms and dental dams for oral sex. Enjoy everyone
/r/PurplePillDebate06/10/21 08:52 PM
13

Robin would be better, he's a simp.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/10/21 10:32 PM
18

Don't nut in a woman then, simple.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/10/21 04:17 AM
–

I see the exact opposite happen, there's a lot of man spheres out there. Some of it is a bit woowoo, but most of it is honest and realistic. The real exploitive channels are the ones who overhype and sugar coat everything, virtue signaling without being helpful.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/10/21 04:16 AM
9

Anyone can be an intellectual, I think it depends if a person is more emotionally invested for deeper talk than surface level stuff. Having discussions and learning from others is an intellectual.
/r/seduction01/10/21 02:57 AM
1

Hmm, I guess I don't totally understand RP then yet. I just looked up pair bonding and there are actually quite a variety of them, so now I don't think there is any one exclusive pair bond for us humans; the ideal pair bond would entirely be up for the individual and the lifestyle they're looking for. I agree, regardless of sexual/romantic preference, people should be upfront and treat others with common courtesy.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/09/21 06:57 PM
2

Interesting points, as a purple pill dude, I believe both sides have some truth because both realities do exist at the same time. What RP describes is something modern society and sociality would probably benefit the most in most western countries where individuality and freedom is highly prized. Being confident and self-validating imo is the peak of human motivation where a person can self-actualize more of their true self. For some people who highly depend on others it can create barriers and …
/r/PurplePillDebate24/09/21 06:35 PM
4

Focus on yourself, be busy in your own life then include people you want to let into your world to experience. People like those who are confident and are dependable, bonus if you can provide something in return (could be materialistic or an experience).
/r/seduction12/09/21 05:19 AM
3

I bet though they can adopt a new mindset in order to successfully change their sense of self to fit more of their actual present self, though, many people struggle with cultivating healthy self-esteem, but it's not impossible!
/r/PurplePillDebate12/09/21 04:46 AM
10

How people feel about others is also largely determined by how they feel about themselves. It's projection of their own insecurities that they may be putting off or struggling to deal with. I would also say low self-esteem too, healthy self-esteem is all about internal evaluations, not comparisons with others. It can cause things like jealousy and resentment if a person thinks someone is better off than them, it's all purely based on emotion, never logic.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/09/21 08:29 PM
1

18-20 for something serious sounds like too much trouble, they're not likely to stay the same person if shit hits the fan and circumstances change in their life. I'm speaking from my personal experience and from talking to people, people who are sure of what they want and live their life at that age are a bit rare in my opinion. They're likely wanting to experience and not settle down for sure.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/09/21 07:18 PM
11

In terms of pregnancies 100% yes, this is moronic. A lot of people will think it's unromantic or too serious to worry about lmao. This goes hand in hand with a lot of romantic gestures, people don't think it's romantic if it's not spontaneous.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/21 08:07 PM
0

Both young men and young women are suffering, finding real love isn't some walk in the park, and most people know this already. Expecations are already set, many are just unhappy they can't get what they want right away and place too much value in it without being content with themselves.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/21 07:41 PM
2

These are realistic approaches, you can't control other people only yourself. Not everyone will be some ultra-feminist woman or red-pilled man, reality does not mostly consist of these people you see on the forefronts of social media. Edit: Why are you trying to shutdown discussions, you said this isn't a debate yet acting like it is one. This post is disappointing.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/21 06:33 PM
5

I believe there's nothing we can do on an individual level to change it, so society will figure itself out on its own. Old social norms are being questioned by both sexes, eventually men aren't going to simp to find equal love, and women aren't going to be passive when it comes to finding it too. Both sides are struggling to find a middle ground that's stable to break away from old traditions, I see this as necessary progress to move forward, it's inevitable.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/21 06:15 PM
1

The "one" does exist and it's whoever you decide to stay with long-term after getting into a relationship. There are actually many ones out there that would make a good fit for a person, so it's about choosing that one out of all of them. Love is where you find yourself desiring intimate attraction with someone. There are plenty of people out there with different maturity levels and needs; if you go into the dating scene with standards you hold for yourself as you do for others, you will find so…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/21 06:03 PM
8

Your "truths" aren't exactly reality, it sounds like you spend too much time on the internet.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/21 05:35 PM
3

Young love rarely ever lasts, because adult life is different than the naïve love most people have when they're a teen. If you're comparing the two, college is much better for something more serious than high school.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/09/21 06:06 PM
1

Good points, all are truths. However I would argue the advice to love ourselves first is important before we try to seek a serious romantic relationship, if a man or woman have a nonexistent support network that may be 2nd to what they should try to work on for something long-term, 1st being themselves. My reasoning why is because most of the relationships will not be from strength that pulled them towards it, but out of weakness that sprung from the unfinished issues they're avoiding, possibly …
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/21 05:59 PM
6

That and it makes a person act out with a scarcity mindset which makes them feel like they have less control of their life. These people are usually more reactionary and dependent on their environment too to decide how they feel instead of deciding that themselves.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/21 04:30 AM
13

OP that would mean that person has a nonexistent support network if that's how they behave from a bit of attention. They need to love and be comfortable with themselves first if they want something real, being too dependent on anyone (both men and women) will not turn out well.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/21 04:13 AM
3

I totally get what you were saying, I'm kind of going through some similar motions with how I view/experience life. Apathy is so hard to deal with, it can ruin what could have been special moments for ourselves with others and not give others the same energy and attention we need back for them. I have a feeling when we are too focused on ourselves to protect what bit of sense of self we do have intact, there's some deeper issue we're avoiding or struggling to deal with. Maybe we haven't found ou…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/09/21 07:33 AM
11

Seems like the thing that will tear both sexes down is if the person they are with does not desire them genuinely
/r/PurplePillDebate01/09/21 06:20 AM
17

If you were apathetic then I think you've officially became old that day. Living life with someone different doesn't have to be like the way you experienced it
/r/PurplePillDebate01/09/21 06:02 AM
7

This is the best answer I've seen here. I believe it'll sort it self out eventually. Like with any new change on a global scale it's going to take time for things to balance out. Most of the negativity I think is marginal with a lot more good going on than there is bad.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/08/21 07:09 PM
11

Do you plan to change your stategy? 6 years is a long time.
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen28/08/21 04:17 AM
1

Very true for plebs.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/08/21 08:15 PM
1

Also happens when a person settled or expects to be treated like a kid with no responsibility.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/08/21 05:30 PM
0

There are different types of desires though that are more common for women to experience, like objectification, being the object of desire for their fantasy or ideals instead of them as a person. Although men can also experience this too if all they're seen as is someone who can provide a lifestyle for them.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/08/21 05:14 PM
17

Men want someone who is loyal and someone who genuinly finds them desirable for who they are, not what they can provide.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/08/21 05:12 PM
9

How could someone say that to their significant others, what? If they were genuinly attractive towards you as a person that wouldn't seem like "work. This is my speculation
/r/PurplePillDebate27/08/21 05:07 PM
1

For procreation yes, beyond that things start to become virtues society has created.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/08/21 04:29 AM
1

Never said it was, I linked the subreddit to give an example and maybe provide a bit of information for anyone wondering.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/08/21 03:57 AM
1

That's a good point, it may be just sexual arousal in general that has the potential to stimulate it. So you're also right virginity doesn't protect anyone from that still. I agree moderation isn't bad, masturbation is not bad, you bring up all good points I'm going to look into, thank you. My primary reason for not releasing is to refrain from any activity that causes huge hormonal imbalances. So that includes ejaculating, not getting enough sleep, stress, not eating enough, not exercising enou…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/08/21 12:07 AM
1

I think it's going to be more for an art form, so no intimate touching like most sites are (idk really).
/r/PurplePillDebate20/08/21 05:59 PM
1

That makes zero sense. It seems like overstimulating the prostate would cause more potential damage from cell turnover which could cause a leak/tear for harmful bacteria to infect it.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/08/21 05:31 PM
2

Exactly! There are many different ways to go about life, all are real and valid, if it's something small or trivial it's not worth picking a fight over for sure. Having autonomy is an important aspect to have for ourselves, and we have to be mindful when involving ourselves with others to not infringe on theirs too. Compromise is the great equalizer for relationships
/r/PurplePillDebate20/08/21 05:28 PM
2

I 101% agree with your comment, many of these "standards" we create for people are born from niche experiences of a few then made popular into a standard to strive for. I think it's a bit weird how we as people expect so much from others to be dependable yet they themselves are not. The last part you mentioned about these double standards I think enters some political territory. I definitely think it's a cultural thing in 1st world countries from men simping and objectifying women so much, or at…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/08/21 05:24 PM
5

I can't argue with that because it's true, and I would say many who have come to terms with themselves who are focused on finding their purpose use tools like semen retention to find it to gain that confidence and competence in living their own life.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/08/21 06:07 AM
3

That's a good approach and path you're on, and it sounds like it's working out for you. I think an important trait for anyone considering being in a relationship is to be dependable with yourself. Be a great leader in your own life since we can only control and decide things for ourselves at the end of the day, no one can truly do that for us but us. Be competent in knowing who you are, your values and interests to share them with others you enjoy being around.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/08/21 06:04 AM
5

I would argue those underlying "desires" are a product of society conditioning/grooming people to have big egos to focus on the material market more. Though what you said is still true and can't be ignored, those are legit desires and mindsets many people adopt and keep through their adult life. I would say these desires may be more pronounced in countries that are more individualistic than community based.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/08/21 05:59 AM
3

That makes a huge difference, it'd be interesting to see an American study haha
/r/PurplePillDebate20/08/21 03:25 AM
2

Exactly same here too, though I'm not 26 yet. I workout and have a healthy outlook on life, ever since covid I've just been a huge introvert and am content being my own person. We're def a minority out of most of the population.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/08/21 03:24 AM
6

Some men do it by choice too for their own standards and ideals. There are men who practice r/semenretention.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/08/21 03:21 AM
6

This sounds like the best answer that covers a lot of factors that sums it up well
/r/PurplePillDebate20/08/21 03:16 AM
15

The healthy way (not the above) is where both people are able to be a great leader and good follower. That's what teamwork is, and where a relationship is a complement to each others' life, not onesided.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/08/21 03:04 AM
34

I hope most people realize this is not healthy and comes from entitlement. A real relationship is about being a great leader and a good follower, however that only works if both people are mature to have that happen.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/08/21 03:00 AM
1

Good comparison, these men and women should be avoided at all costs.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/08/21 06:30 PM
1

Best comment here, perfect example.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/08/21 06:28 PM
1

You didn't read the distinction OP mentioned in their post. Whether or not they are or aren't strong and independent isn't the turn off, it's a turn off when these people feel the need to project and use these traits as justification for whatever they think they deserve in life. It breeds arrogance and self-entitlement, two traits that are unattractive for any man or woman. Being dominant and confident are attractive traits, it shows a woman who is strong and sure of themselves when going about …
/r/PurplePillDebate17/08/21 06:27 PM
1

They're not, you didn't read the distinction OP mentioned in their post. Whether or not they are or aren't strong and independent isn't the turn off, it's a turn off when these people feel the need to project and use these traits as justification for whatever they think they deserve in life. It breeds arrogance and self-entitlement, two traits that are unattractive for any man or woman.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/08/21 06:23 PM
1

OP explained anyone who feels the need to boast and take these traits to become a virtue for themselves are red flags, they could actually be independent, or not, doesn't matter. It's the self-projection that they feel the need to point out to justify whatever they deserve to get is what is considered a red flag, and it's a huge turn off because it breeds arrogance and self-entitlement, two unattractive traits for any woman or man.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/08/21 06:17 PM
2

So true, patience and trust, and this can be seen through the friends people are able to or unable to make as an adult too, not just relationships. This is one reason why online dating does not work for most people, the culture and mindset behind swiping creates a game, and if one little things seems off about a person people think they can keep swiping until it's right, it's a "numbers" game. Zero patience as you said, I would even say these people are a bit disconnected with reality due to soc…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/08/21 05:39 PM
3

A relationship should complement both people's lifestyles, it can only go up from there as long as both people are considerate of one another. I think people who believe their opinion is the only right way have a deeper communication issue, which would cause a lot of incompatibility issues; not because of the opinion but because of how they approach interactions. We've got to respect everyone's autonomy if it's not doing anyone harm, and be more considerate when it comes to actions that do affec…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/08/21 11:45 PM
7

People who are submissive get treated lower than while those who are dominant on top are praised. This is nothing new, regardless of sex/gender.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/08/21 10:27 PM
1

Won't work when the wall hits, there will be better and hotter things according to your way of life.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/08/21 10:00 PM
1

Children are realistically ~25 year long commitment, or 18 depending on how soon you want them out. From then on both parent and child can be more like true friends to get along, each being their own person.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/08/21 09:58 PM
4

That's true, people are entitled to their own opinions, and at the end of the day they're the one's who will have to wait or be single for a while. We can only protect ourselves.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/08/21 09:14 PM
4

A lot of truth you just spoke, a lot of people have empowered themselves to an extreme that disregards others' autonomy. That's not going to work out in a relationship involving two people, communication skills are so important.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/08/21 08:59 PM
1

BIG YES. This may explain why everyone today is more polarized than ever, and it has reached into the dating world now too. All these filters and ideals people carry to empower themselves are being taken to extremes, and it's going to cause them to be unhappy most the time when they deal with others. People nowadays are only listening to refute an opinion, instead of actually listening to understand. Sad
/r/PurplePillDebate12/08/21 08:28 PM
10

It's so pointless to hear all these people complaining, and it's exactly why the dating market is so crap right now. Both genders feel entitled, picking and choosing with no realistic long-term approach for a successful LTR. Everyone wants to be a leader in their own life, that's actually great and dandy, however a relationship for two equals it requires both people to be a great leader and also a good follower, where the roles switch from time to time. This is why many people divorce, too stron…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/08/21 08:23 PM
12

Some people treat compromise as either their way or the highway, they still expect the other person to bend over and give in to their desires without the teamwork of actually finding a solution nor adjusting one's ideals from their ego. Most people with poor communication skills only expect the other person to compromise by giving in. That's not a compromise and it will create resentment. These people think any change they have to make on their ego is manipulative lmao
/r/PurplePillDebate12/08/21 08:14 PM
3

That's interesting, do you still plan to find a relationship with someone? They should be a complement to your own life, maybe your ex was taking more from you.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/08/21 08:46 PM
3

A lot of people are taken but no married, how would you factor that? Or maybe long term with no government certificate, marriage isn't that great, and apparently some women will still go for married men lol. These numbers seem right, a lot of the younger demographic are not making 30k a year if they're in college or working minimum wage. A lot of people take breaks too
/r/PurplePillDebate10/08/21 08:33 PM
5

Is the bachelor life how you always plan to live? A lot of men are fine and can find someone if they really wanted to start a family, but women have a fertility timer that keeps on ticking.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/08/21 08:11 PM
2

It really makes you wonder all the mind games some women have, they have a whole list of criteria. Hidden agendas beyond love for someone. If a woman was not happy with the things she has in life then they need to do what most people do and work for it instead of being so entitled. I don't understand anyone who lives this way. It makes one think in terms of scarcity totally relying on their environment to dictate how they feel instead of deciding that themselves.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/08/21 08:07 PM
3

The hot sex with chad who's hard to lock down verses the beta bucks provider, since a lot of men simp for attention it's very easy for women to get what they want as long as they're seen as attractive in some way
/r/PurplePillDebate08/08/21 08:42 PM
1

Typical for these kind of people, well they need something to bring down to their level of misery. Whatever floats their imaginary boat, it already sunk with their mindset.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/08/21 05:00 PM
1

I don't see the reason you'd bash on women though. If solo polygamy is your lifestyle then exercise it to your hearts content, people do live it just fine. The only important committed relationship in it is with yourself, which I think is important for everyone to have.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/08/21 04:45 PM
1

Care to elaborate why? Because no it doesn't, there's no alimony support.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/08/21 04:34 PM
2

Why not just not marry while being exclusive. Some government certificate doesn't have to prove you love someone.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/08/21 12:03 AM
2

For real, people forget most attention on topics are focused on the bad components or issues because they require attention, however that doesn't mean it's the majority.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/08/21 11:20 PM
2

There is more than one type of attraction out there, so although one may fade overtime, sometimes others strengthen. And yes attraction can be maintained to avoid those outcomes, but I would argue it depends on both communication styles (which goes in hand with maturity) and value both people find in each other.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/08/21 11:14 PM
1

I'll definitely check it out, thank you. I believe people who are more self-aware of their surroundings while not letting specifics affect their demeanor is an important skill. So many conflicts in relationships stem mostly from miscommunication.
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen03/08/21 10:05 PM
1

What list of habits are you referencing? It sounds interesting because that is some good life advice right there. Lol you know exactly what I mean, exactly we need more people like you.
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen03/08/21 09:57 PM
5

I've been trying to listen to understand more lately, too many people listen only to refute what someone is saying. Nowadays as a society we're way too polarized and divided, no one is actually listening to one another.
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen03/08/21 08:59 PM
10

Edit: I made an edit because I realize my kindness part was a bit backwards as you said and I agree, thanks for pointing that out. Edit2: I do now agree my definitions were backwards after more thought.
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen03/08/21 04:44 PM
3

With that logic it's no wonder why everyone nowadays is so polarized.
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen03/08/21 04:33 PM
4

Exactly, kindness is rewarded not expected. It's only given out of another person's free choice, to expect such things takes the meaning out of it. What most of these people expect should not be given out freely to a random stranger you just met, the entitlement is baffling. They want high value, but being high value means not giving out to random strangers you don't know. These people live a transactional lifestyle, run away from these toxic mindsets when a person focuses more on specifics acts…
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen03/08/21 04:13 PM
8

As a dude, I agree too with everything you said. People forget we're all human's first, meaning we're more similar than we are different; circumstances may be different, but the core values are the same. Red flags are red flags.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/08/21 07:21 PM
2

Entitled people or those who don't take responsibility for themselves only do things that benefit them directly and let others deal with their shortcomings, it's sadly not obvious to all.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/08/21 07:15 AM
0

Keep your sex, that is how you will be seen as more high value for your integrity to be faithful to yourself. The men who are telling you to "dO yOuR pArT" are low value incels who don't have the options because they're lacking trying to get a lifestyle they haven't earned yet.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/08/21 02:15 AM
6

Also "choose better" means to improve one's self since the common denominator in all these options is them.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/08/21 01:53 AM
2

My bad, it seems the article you linked explained commitment a bit too, I should have read that first. I may have to read more articles, because the commitment part is still a bit confusing to understand. It almost sounds like anything goes and nothing is definitively defined with the relationships, aside from committing hugely to your own personal self first and foremost. So maybe the stability comes more strongly from your own self love for yourself than others. Did I get any of that correct? …
/r/PurplePillDebate27/07/21 08:56 PM
2

I try haha, I'm glad I understand it a bit thanks. Huh that's super interesting, I've been so curious to know how some dudes come up with this choice, because people like you must see some benefits that outweigh traditional ways, it got me thinking to try to understand it. How does commitment play into all this for each of these relationships you have? is long-term the goal with someone like-minded? Are these long-term commitments for everyone you get emotionally/sexually active with, what would…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/07/21 08:38 PM
–

What does love exactly mean, and do you think it's limited to just romantic relationships? People like to sort and say all kinds of activities are exclusive to romantic love, but if we look at real life we'll find so many different kinds of connections that overlap a lot with all these activities. A lot of people get possessive in monogamist relationships which I think is unrealistic, but is dependent on each person's maturity level. The only thing that I've found that separates a best friend fr…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/21 09:40 PM
–

Ah yeah, that's a totally different ballpark for sure. I'm going to guess you're male, may I ask what made you decide to not be in a monogamist relationship?
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/21 06:52 PM
1

Not too easy, but since it's so mainstream you'll find the majority of people not knowing what they want. Combine that with unrealistic expecations seen from social media being set as the "standard," and how impersonal many treat texting and apps like a game, it spells a rough time.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/21 06:14 PM
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I apply the casual sex part to both men and women. If a person is set in their ways and can't relax being their own person for a while, there's no immediate chance they'll change in the near future. Just like with men who masturbate too much to porn, it's not an easy journey to quit, huge lifestyle changes like these take time, and considering how serious romantic relationships can be (any time you involve another person's time and energy) it's just disrespectful to tag someone along.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/21 06:10 PM
–

Always avoid loaded questions/statements like these, it's a hidden agenda to see if you tick all the boxes they're looking to support their lifestyle instead of you as a person to build with. If they're not satisfied with a general answer they'll keep pushing it, and until they are given a definitive proof that's when they'll love bomb you with attention to tag you along or leave. In these sorts of situations it's always best to get out and leave first, have the upper arm.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/21 06:01 PM
–

Anyone can make demands freely, it doesn't mean they will get what they want. The 80/20 rule is so prominent today because of online dating and social media, people think it's the norm and standard, but that's far from reality. People are told to not settle, yet that's only a half truth and does not mean only go after the cream of the crop. There are many decent men and women out there who have the potential to grow, but everyone keeps being told to only go after the top who are likely already t…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/21 05:54 PM
–

You're not a virgin so you can't really speak what that experience would be like. You wouldn't need to date someone you already know well, if you did what would make you change your mind about someone if you weren't initially attracted to them in the first place, this logic makes no sense. With your logic you'd be willing to have sex with your best male friends at the drop of a dime. This is a red flag for romantic love.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/21 09:04 AM
–

Anyone who feels entitled to anything is low value, this applies to both men and women. Respect is a given, but kindness of any kind is earned out of the free choice for another. To be high value one must treat others as equals, to do otherwise parents an unprecedented conflict of interest. No one should bend-over-backwards for a mere stranger when considering a serious relationship prospect. Everyone has to show their worth in how they carry themselves or be seen through their hidden agendas. T…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/21 08:49 AM
0

I like to maybe think a mild form of psychosis may be what's happening.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/21 04:09 AM
3

I don't think those are great examples of neuroticism, which is one of the big 5 personality traits. It's unconscious, automatic responses to the world caused by distress. If a person is confident and sees a world a certain way in a calm manner, that's not being neurotic.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/21 03:40 AM
6

That's so true, and that's really awesome to hear you and your husband can see beyond these stereotypes! This is one thing all these pilled mindset forget, on a personal individual level, one-on-one with another person, these dating theories don't really apply in a specific sense. I'm a bit conflicted on weight as we age, I remember (don't quote me on this) that it's a bit healthier to have some weight when we're older than it is when we're younger. But of course there are still other health imp…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/07/21 08:14 PM
2

This reminds me of a post I saw here yesterday, how it's more unacceptable for men to be larger. Women naturally have more body fat and curves which can be attractive, but on a men it has the opposite effect. That's true, generally how a person feels matters more than what happens to them, bit of weight won't hurt anyone except for obesity. Someone described how they could feel all the extra weight hanging on them. The reason I mentioned a possible motivation is because everyone has a breaking p…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/07/21 06:08 PM
9

This makes me wonder if many of these bigger men and women find themselves attractive. We always hear about body positivity, but that seems to be a coping mechanism to curb any real self-identity harm, from others or themselves. I've never been overweight in my whole life so far, so I can only assume and guess (so my opinion doesn't really matter), but if I was overweight I would be a bit bothered with myself around intimacy with others, as it makes one more aware on how they appear in front of …
/r/PurplePillDebate24/07/21 05:18 PM
2

Ah, thank you for the definition. I think the word discipline is a nice word that encompasses those traits, it's often called a mark of maturity where one has great inner strength and can plan for more than just the present moment, beyond short-term pleasures.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/07/21 05:19 AM
1

What if a guy was spending his time to work on himself and wanted to enjoy other aspects of their life before it was gone? Pursuing passions, self-growth, spending time with parents, traveling, etc. Maybe they didn't feel ready for a relationship quite yet until his late twenties.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/07/21 04:58 AM
1

Avoid serial long-term daters imo however. If a person just jumps from one relationship to another without reflecting on why a relationship is ending, what good does that amount of "experience" going to do or change anything the next go around.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/07/21 04:54 AM
1

For virgins I feel like there may be some conditional requirements because there are different types of virgins, those who are content and choosing to wait versus the incel who is socially awkward and unsure of life. Like with any label, they're not great to go off of (imo).
/r/PurplePillDebate21/07/21 04:48 AM
1

That's cool and all if it only applies sexually, but maturity wise you better have yourself figured out and stuff together, I mean this for both men and women.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/07/21 04:44 AM
0

What does high FTO mean? I couldn't find any real definition on Google for what that is.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/07/21 04:21 AM
3

This is a good answer. Also a lot of what we see online is not the actual dating market/scene, all these strategies or mindsets everyone keeps talking about most likely only predominately concerns dating apps with online dating, where a lot of people basically play a game to connect with people (that's how I see it). It's a waste of time because of what continuously gets perpetrated online, it has become too mainstream and flooded with jokers from all sorts of backgrounds trying to maximize or g…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/07/21 04:14 AM
2

How do you mess up this bad with children, where was the responsibility?! I hate people who decide to have kids on a whim without taking ample consideration for if they can actually support their kids to give them at least a decent life..
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen21/07/21 02:23 AM
2

That's not the actual population percentage, taking 50% from each category like that is implying each group is separate with their own population, when we're only talking about one population sample which has overlap in all categories.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/07/21 03:50 PM
1

I think to an extent yes, why say these things yet lust over them, what kind of double think is this. It is odd behavior, it's no different from some of those entitled women on that subreddit.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/07/21 03:38 PM
2

I find this hard to believe, is it really? That sounds like the bar is set so low though, we're talking decent here
/r/PurplePillDebate19/07/21 03:25 PM
16

This is what 3rd wave feminism is about, no accountability, and they pick and choose what rules they want to follow to get the best from both worlds of progressive and traditional. What they want is basically a slave, something 1st wave feminists would be greatly disappointed in these people since they were abolitionists. Where's the equality here? None when you expect and live an entitled life.
/r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen18/07/21 05:30 PM
3

I think you missed the whole point of my message. I don't know what you're talking about, but this self-proclaimed "evolution" you speak of, are you talking about the current behavior and market place we see today, because that's not set in stone nor evolution. My point is that these social constructs and definitions are old and outdated, that's all I'm saying.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/07/21 10:33 PM
2

It's all a social construct, exactly, a construct is only meant to help organize ideas and thoughts, these need to change to catch up and represent modern times.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/07/21 09:11 PM
7

You just made me realize how toxic these gender definitions are.. damn. I'm questioning everything now, what exactly does it mean to be masculine or feminine? Google's definition says, "having qualities or appearance traditionally associated with men/women", but these qualities and appearances can be adopted by both men and women. The treatment of both sexes in the past seem to be what made these definitions, women were not treated as equals and men were made to be seen as power houses, I just f…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/07/21 08:06 PM
2

I appreciate the explanation, that does make a lot more sense than the explanation another user tried to explain to me. It's funny how both sexes seem to want the opposite thing from each other. Women hate virgins, men want to marry them. Men hate promiscuity but don't hold themselves to the same standards, women want a provider, but don't hold themselves to the same standards.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/07/21 08:18 PM
2

Wait, so you're saying women hate virgins because they don't want to sleep with virgins. Maybe it's the way you're saying it, but that's backwards thinking if it's their doing so on their own choice. I still don't get what you mean, but I'll stop here.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/07/21 08:13 PM
3

Don't you mean the other way around? Your sentence is really confusing both ways, not sure what you actually mean.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/07/21 08:02 PM
4

Why do you say women hate virgins? Genuinely curious as to why
/r/PurplePillDebate16/07/21 07:41 PM
4

You and OP are 100% correct, spoke from different perspectives, but the message behind them combined create a better explanation.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/07/21 06:43 PM
1

We can also already see this with psychologists too, many trades involving vast knowledge to diagnose or solve an issue towards one goal. In a way smartphones to an outsider could very well be seen as a part of human anatomy, a second brain that connects us all. For me personally I treat and use many of my apps and devices as an extension to my physical body and mind. It seems almost obvious this will be the way as machine and biology become more like one to provide the benefits of both strength…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/07/21 08:59 PM
2

Exactly, maybe not know right away, but it could very well be one future that will take place. Specific circumstances don't really matter as long as the feelings attached to them are desirable and commonplace. I low key believe this could be the future for single people until they find a suitable partner. Right now the emphasis on hookup culture (imo) is a result from the skewed sexual marketplace we're being advertised yet there's not enough "supply" for men with alternatives being shunned. Som…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/07/21 08:52 PM
1

Someone who can provide, has a lot of connections to wealth, trade, and entertainment, idk about you but that sounds like high social status that a lot of people would find attractive; attraction is multifaceted and social status is but one out of many that influence selection.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/07/21 08:16 PM
1

Or how about express thoughtful data without interjecting your own personal bias. Social status is one of many different selection markers human choose when it comes to selecting a partner, Jordan Peterson never hinted that our hierarchies don't exist anymore and are blurred, quite the opposite since we have more. I think I may have misinterpreted what you mean by blurred here, but celebrities are just one example of social status on the extreme high end, that doesn't discredit social status on …
/r/PurplePillDebate14/07/21 08:08 PM
4

You took one small sentence and twisted the meaning behind it. Jordan Peterson in that video was talking about how humans have multiplied their dominance hierarchy, and used male dominance hierarchy as a parallel to show how different we are from animals who have more simple ones when it comes to selection for procreation. He mentioned nothing about women specifically nor social dominance, nor that they "barely even exist anymore" as you mentioned. Edit: Don't spread false news.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/07/21 07:59 PM
3

I was going to say it does to an extent, they're all connections in whatever area they're well known or famous for. I believe this can extend on a smaller scale in cities, small towns, circles of friends, etc. Community heroes count in my opinion, board members for schools and community, and more.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/07/21 07:43 PM
–

How about, both men and women approach while being careful to not give too much too fast. Focus on actually getting to know them and being proactive with what they want.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/07/21 11:00 PM
1

It creates modern complacency, especially if a person is not at a stable point in their life.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/07/21 06:54 PM
2

This sounds like your own personal opinion, with no real facts to support this. Men and women are more equal than different. You're going to find people who love all sorts of people's race, gender, sex, culture, body types, whatever etc etc.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/07/21 06:38 PM
1

You do realize this is the exact parallel argument to that pair bonding bullshit, don’t you? No, there is a huge difference between solitary and dyadic sexual desire. The more someone spends time alone to masturbate solo, the more desire they will have to be alone. Not only that, but the more you masturbate the more urges a person will get. (source: Testosterone and Sexual Desire in Healthy Women and Men) Men showed a higher sexual desire than women. However, the researchers suggested that this …
/r/PurplePillDebate11/07/21 09:40 PM
2

You're right, the practice alone won't, it still comes from the individual to decide and have that desire to hold themselves accountable. One can apply this to any habit/activity. A little bit isn't going to hurt us, but we can defiantly find better options to spend our energy and time. I'm just going to use food as an example, if we continuously get our fill from junk food it leaves less room for other foods as we will feel content. Too much of a good thing can also be bad (although in the sens…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/07/21 09:30 PM
2

Can't argue with that, fair points all around.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/07/21 09:21 PM
5

You can still use it to compare real world data. It can provide a glimpse at different behaviors
/r/PurplePillDebate11/07/21 08:50 PM
11

You are aware that there are scientific studies that use reddit as a sample size for data, right? If a huge site has the raw data, that does not discredit what they have picked up.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/07/21 08:44 PM
9

Who would have thunk that, humans are more similar to each other than they thought they are, lol.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/07/21 08:40 PM
1

Seems like society as a whole then don't have their standards straight, and sometimes it takes the hard way to learn and grow past something. People will talk, discuss, or make fun of any group, it's pointless banter and at the end of the day it's us against ourselves, we can only control ourselves.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/07/21 12:40 AM
1

And it's going to continue until people get tired of it, just like with every fad overtime.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/07/21 10:17 PM
2

Well here's the thing, if they are happy and their environment is able to sustain and fulfill these conditioned beliefs , there's no problem. That just means they'll have to change later at some point rather than sooner. Then they'll experience depression and other problems as the reality in their mind slowly changes to fit the actual world.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/07/21 09:24 PM
2

It's a huge red flag, way too much drama and shows their true character and mindset. Don't guys do this too sometimes? I always keep hearing from some women how women can be "evil," but yeah I'm still surprised how some don't have many girl friends.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/07/21 08:50 PM
3

If I knew a woman was doing this behind my back I would drop them, that's shitty behavior
/r/PurplePillDebate10/07/21 07:43 PM
4

This is great and all, but really people should stop caring about these small details on other peoples' lives and focus more on themselves. If a woman wants simps, cool, their life. If a man wants to simp, cool, their life, glad that's not me lol. If men and women want to enable bad behavior, that's all on them. We as individuals can't help everyone, those who are likeminded will congregate and attract each other. Edit: It doesn't matter how much outside help a person gets nothing will change if…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/07/21 07:29 PM
4

You gotta do some work too, how else are you going to commit any of this to memory? Write and orangize this in a manner that works best for you.
/r/seduction08/07/21 09:56 PM
1

To think in absolutes is plain silly.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/07/21 08:55 PM
2

I appreciate the reply, you got a lot of interesting responses. Everything in life really is dependent on the individual person up for discussion, but I think your point #3 is an important factor too. People do not easily value others as we did when we were younger when we get older. A lot does depend on random chance, but I guess depending on where we look and make ourselves known it can greatly influence more chances for sure.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/07/21 06:01 PM
3

Like some people have mentioned, "good catches" are only available to those who are also "good catches". It's just at that moment if they aren't taking any interest in you, then something/someone else is. Could be career/goals, or another person, but the fact still remains the same, those are more interesting to be available for then other options trying to influence them. It's multi-dimensional, so depending on the person and circumstances, it's could be you or them.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/07/21 09:24 PM
2

If someone is having casual sex, that's a red flag for a long-term romantic relationship. Just like the other commenter said, people who had suiters back then weren't fucking them lol.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/07/21 09:20 PM
2

"the one" referenced above more meant significant others. There are many "ones" out there. It's not a matter of which one fits, but which one you choose.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/07/21 09:17 PM
3

What you just described is modern complacency though. Most people do not need more incentive to make change, it's a false front to cope with unavailability, this applies to people who are generally alone or feel lonely in life. The real defining difference between a best friend and a romantic partner is sex. People can have meaningful, fulfilling connections with other(s). Why was it easier to make connections when we were younger? Because we had more time and energy to value others easily. A lo…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/07/21 09:12 PM
11

Some people may not realize this, but maybe those who are admirals now became one because they had someone along the way.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/07/21 08:38 PM
1

It really depends on what you're looking for bro. You don't want someone who isn't interested, that's a good thing now you can move on to someone who does show interest. Here's the thing though, it's a woman's market out there. There's A LOT of male attention, and a lot of tired of it or are still immature, but that's not your problem, and frankly you shouldn't really care too since it's their life not yours.
/r/seduction28/06/21 05:54 AM
7

I would say you both finding each other genuinely attractive along with compatibility are the most important factors for long-term success, also helps if you both are already mature in terms of self-growth. Another imporant factor are both wanting the same goals out of life, but those would already be sorted out by being non-negotiable red flags early on.
/r/seduction23/06/21 01:20 AM
8

Depends if you're a quality guy for any to consider, who also holds himself to the same standard as you do for these women.
/r/seduction21/06/21 05:08 AM
1

Wise words, and that's a very healthy approach I hope more people adopt. You're right forgetting would just cause further issues and prolong the inevitable, the past events have to be rewritten in an empowering way into a person's self-narrative. The rest is all great and interesting info. Change takes time for sure, which usually involves active guidance and consistent effort to see things through, and be hard to practice when progress is usually non-linear.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/06/21 06:35 PM
1

The post was talking about going out of your way to be nice, providing acts of kindness to someone, things no one asked a person to do to be extra and make someone special. You still have to be a decent human being, everyone can do that at the very least. The same could be applied to guys too, lots of dude stay in a relationship just for the sex, yet they're miserable and settled and gave up their freedom by staying in an unhappy relationship.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/06/21 06:13 PM
1

Who's fault is it for being sexless though, and if it's a big deal for someone who's the only one that can change that?
/r/PurplePillDebate09/06/21 06:09 PM
3

double standards everywhere, we're supposed to "take it like a man" and let them do their "queen shit" lol
/r/PurplePillDebate09/06/21 05:38 AM
3

I think it may be because everyone is expected to figure things out on their own, be "self made" but that standard by itself is too high for most people when most of these things takes active guidance from a mentor. Sadly many people have zero good role models to look up to, and all this has caused a divide in how to behave and act around the opposite sex, no unity, with different agendas/propaganda distracting people.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/06/21 05:15 AM
1

For some reason I want to root for you because yeah your standards fuck what others think! But that would make me look like an idiot to others too, this must be why a lot of people describe FDS sub as incels. Not enough tact
/r/PurplePillDebate09/06/21 05:01 AM
1

That makes me really happy to hear because there's so many people who don't see their own worth to be able to not let it get to them. We do have those technologies, they can help but at the same time it seems too many of us abuse and become addicted to things like porn and it greatly affects how we function in the real world. If we are getting our fill from one source it will lessen our desires in others, like having the drive for real romantic connections. It kind of sounds like we were not rea…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/06/21 04:45 AM
2

I see your point, I still think in some instances though this would be seen as an attempt to manipulating your envirnment for more favorable conditions, at which point intentions are finally realized/revealed.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/06/21 01:00 AM
1

I'm a virgin, and I can agree with everything you said. When I relied heavily on the expecations of others to make me happy I was miserable, and lonely, but now that I realize how I feel is only determined by me I changed and no longer feel the above. I think fingers can be pointed at our values as a society, but it would be a bit pointless to waste our energy on the past when the present is all that determines the future. Edit: what are your thoughts on this? or OP's post?
/r/PurplePillDebate09/06/21 12:44 AM
1

I think we both finally agreed on something here. Maybe we had the same idea but our definitions were a bit different. More people need to realize what you just said to start living their life on their own terms.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/06/21 11:54 PM
1

Good social cordiality, which at its core is basic acknowledgment, is imporant and the bare minimum that should be received when giving an act of kindness. It sounds like whoever took their kindness is manipulating them for all the nice acts, so why continue do give them what they want when it's one sided? They need better friends, and also what I mentioned previously about expecations.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/06/21 11:48 PM
1

Quite the opposite, what even is that example? That would take away autonomy and free choice, that's counterproductive to society at large and the individual. It is said self-worth is what keeps a person's self-esteem stable. People who are insecure and depressed have esteem management issues because of this. We cannot control others, and trying to do that will result in a lot of frustration and disappointment. Those people who struggle with low self-worth, who are pushovers, who rely heavily on…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/06/21 11:40 PM
0

See my edit. Why would you let others determine how you feel about life? Live life on your own terms by making yourself a priority, that way you'll be able to truly appreciate and enjoy others for who they are on a deeper level without depending on them.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/06/21 11:24 PM
2

Honestly that is on the person for holding unrealistic expecations, expecting something in return is not how the world works. However, that doesn't mean one shouldn't do nice things for friends or others, we should always do our best to be confident in our choices, but those choices should be for us, and us alone. This also doesn't mean one should hold back in doing the things that bring them joy and happiness, after all no one else can dictate our choices, because everyone has their own reality…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/06/21 11:18 PM
5

That's life for yeah, some people have an advantage others don't.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/06/21 10:56 PM
7

Chad already displayed his attractiveness in some manner, hence him getting laid and the girl willing to have sex to get it.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/06/21 10:53 PM
1

In terms of a romantic relationship, maybe looking for someone who is also looking for a serious commitment. I'm not sure what you are trying to ask.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/06/21 10:46 PM
1

What if the person just wants sex and hopes it will happen, and knows that behaving nicely is sort of a social prequisite? It depends on how they go about getting it. You wouldn't have to convince someone if they wanted to have sex at some point. Why potentially waste time on someone who isn't showing interest to begin with? At that point they may be the one who will get manipulated with the false impression of sex while the other person gets all the nice things. The problem with "Nice Shaming" …
/r/PurplePillDebate08/06/21 10:22 PM
1

I think in general terms this is great advice, don't bend over backwards for someone thinking you might get sex. If someone wants to fuck they will make it known in someway. This is why someone could be a douche or nice person and still get sex, it's because they are seen as attractive.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/06/21 09:38 PM
1

No of course not, no one should expect something in return for their deeds. Does a person deserve a thank you and cordiality in return for them choosing to do an act of kindness? 100% yes, a basic acknowledgment completes everything. Is the only true "niceness" done from complete altruism where the nice person expects no exchange at all? Nah of course not, but to expect something without talking about it shows poor communication skills if they were looking more for an exchange instead. Example, …
/r/PurplePillDebate08/06/21 09:16 PM
2

Okay, I think misread your earlier reply, my apologies. Still, being nice does not equate to getting sex in return. In most cases someone who wants sex and is doing so by being nice is trying to control the situation to make things more favorable for them, being nice is not the intention, hence the manipulation, especially if it gets called out by someone strong-willed. Someone who is not strong-willed usually falls victim. If someone truly found the other person attractive then they would want …
/r/PurplePillDebate08/06/21 09:02 PM
1

I agree, I'm not sure where this expectation came from. Your hypothesis is interesting, maybe they're mixing two objectives into one because their urges get in the way. On a separate note, I think there's a similar comparison with women too. Some women think if they have sex with a man the man wants a romantic/serious relationship at some point.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/06/21 08:47 PM
-4

Being nice means you expect to be given niceness in return, which could be sex but often times not. If someone wanted to fuck you anyway then the niceness wasn't even needed because you both find each other attractive.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/06/21 08:26 PM
4

No, OP is only talking about this in a sex/romantic context. How does being nice equate to sex in return? Being nice means you get niceness reciprocated back, technically that could be in the form of sex, but nine times out of ten that's not the case. If the person gets mad for not getting sex for being nice, their intention from the start doesn't line up with what they were doing, manipulative is it not? Edit: grammar
/r/PurplePillDebate08/06/21 08:24 PM
1

Just sex, or anything at all? Whether it's "manipulative" or not doesn't seem to matter because it looks like a lot of socially programmed behaviors are just manipulation that worked from an evolutionary standpoint and were written in to our biological code. Your post is talking about niceness in a sex/romantic context, why are you bringing up other factors not relevant that aren't in your post? If the other person doesn't want sex, who's the one who's going to be upset? The person expecting it.…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/06/21 08:19 PM
16

If a person is expecting sex for being nice, that is manipulative. If they are attractive though yes it will be overlooked because then both people just want sex and the niceness wasn't even a component anymore. What matters here is the intention.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/06/21 07:32 PM
3

It may be ignorant to say the past doesn't matter, but how a person carries themselves in the present moment matters far more, especially if they have re-evaluated and successfully changed their ways with consistency. If they are struggling or don't have the values similar to your own, don't even bother, there will be someone else who matches your same energy that will be more worthwhile.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/06/21 07:24 PM
2

OP if your post is about the same thing as the above comment, you're confusing a lot of people... Your post seems to say the opposite, but after re-reading it, your wording was a bit confusing
/r/PurplePillDebate08/06/21 07:15 PM
1

Most people's higher sex drives are due to psychosocial variables like sex/masturbation frequency than gender/sex differences in sexual desire. (source) So of course someone who isn't choosing to masturbate or have sex are going to have lower sex drives. But they can make it a choice if they wanted to, this applies to both sexes.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/06/21 06:57 PM
8

Honestly? I don't think it will stop functioning, and quite frankly I don't think sex has to be a thing for people to be happy if values change. I could be wrong so someone can point out any studies if they want to. This will be controversial, but I don't think people actually need sex to be happy. What people do need is intimacy and belongingness, and sex happens to fill that role for most. But given our current social and societal envirnments/behaviors, this is hard for a lot of people to find…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/06/21 06:28 PM
1

*Hopefully* this will change, but it's going to be a few decades at least sadly. We need people to realize materials do not make a person happy, the system is fragile and a person is in danger if they lose touch with themselves if they heavily rely on external sources for happiness.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/06/21 07:20 PM
–

On top of that it seems a lot of women date for a lifestyle, not a true lover.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/06/21 08:50 PM
2

Ah my apologies, and I appreciate the clarification.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/06/21 07:13 PM
1

checkout r/minimalism, you'll find all sorts of people.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/06/21 06:51 PM
6

I was going to comment this, women were more often oppressed back then, we're taught this in history about many minority groups. Thankfully that's changing today. Achievements in history happen regardless of the person, if one person doesn't do it someone else would have in their place a bit later.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/06/21 06:50 PM
3

Your argument and this entire post can be applied to humans in general. Lots of shitty people out there regardless of sex.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/06/21 06:47 PM
1

I like your theory, it holds a lot of truth, but I feel like what you said can be extended and broadened to society as a whole rather than the sexes. People think they HAVE to do this, or MUST do that to be seen "acceptable" to everyone else, but life is far more simpler than that. All these expectations and standards are ideals trying to push an agenda (capitalism) and lifestyle that should be seen as optional, when in reality a person's health and feelings matter far more.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/06/21 06:44 PM
1

I agree, but I would still argue women in general are likely to have more pressure due to their biological clock, and the "sExUaL mArKeT vAlUe," that society keeps pushing onto everyone.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/06/21 06:39 PM
1

I like that, that's sold advice thank you! Yes realizing and being upfront about your needs are important, if they can't talk about it with you count it as their loss. People will sometimes try to take advantage and leech your energy for short-term pleasure ignoring your long-term desires. Edit: Always know your worth and set boundaries to protect yourself. Someone who will actually value your time and match your energy will come along.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/06/21 03:35 AM
0

I've never dated yet, I can't imagine living through that. I know it's a bit hopeless to prepare for such an event, but I'm trying to make sure I spot all the red flags by the time I am ready. I know it happens to both genders, but the pressure is a lot less for us men :/
/r/PurplePillDebate06/06/21 02:15 AM
2

What you mentioned is a bit different imo, aside from the time potentially wasted. Is the best choice for a person with trauma really a relationship first? If a person doesn't have the energy to deal with themselves how are they going to create a meaningful relationship if they can't be their true self. Creating relationships from trauma bonds is dangerous for both people involved.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/06/21 10:25 PM
4

If a young adult (18-23) chooses to do so, what moral issues are there between two consenting adults?
/r/PurplePillDebate05/06/21 08:47 PM
5

Man I'm not even going to get into the moral double standards about this, I believe it's brewing some bad outlooks and mindsets some people will carry that will affect how they treat future relationships. It's straight up objectifying on both ends when it comes to this sugar stuff.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/06/21 07:28 PM
1

Ohhhh, thanks for the explanation! Never seen the 'P' for place used before yet. Also your comment speaks a lot of truth, I don't believe there is a wall, but as you said mindsets and values are drastically different as people accumulate experience and figure more out what they actually want/need. Some people will say fertility is the wall and determining factor, but I think it's more of an illusion as modern tech has a lot more options to increases chances, and people can keep trying for a chil…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/06/21 07:10 PM
6

Damn women have a lot of pressure it seems to get it right the first time. Low key makes me mad then when some men waste a woman's time with infidelity and false hopes.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/06/21 05:12 PM
3

You bring up a good point. Also most women see older men as more attractive because they usually can provide more. Should we encourage this dynamic, because it seems like both sides could benefit more honestly. Socially most people are encouraged to get with someone their same age, but a lot of our parents I bet had age gaps of more than a few years.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/06/21 05:08 PM
12

You bring up a good point, we have a legal adult age of 18, but mentally in a lot of people's heads we're not supposed to treat them like an adult. Call the man weird and a pedo. Yet when a young person gets a sugar daddy it's encouraged? What
/r/PurplePillDebate05/06/21 05:04 PM
6

People prey on the weak, the "smart" ones in the eyes of capitalism are winning.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/06/21 04:49 PM
4

OP you kind of answered your own question with this comment, because a lot of people are addicted to sexuality, they're blinded by those feelings.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/06/21 04:46 PM
1

This is so blatantly ignorant bro, not even going to touch your comment. Enjoy a positive life.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/06/21 04:30 PM
4

Did you not read the article? Look and analyze the charts, they explain a lot. Those [women] who have never been married are more likely to be looking to date (62%), but divorced and widowed singles lean more toward not dating at the moment (56% and 74%, respectively). This at least partly reflects the age differences among those with different marital histories. The charts in the article say 71% of women age 40+ are single because they are not looking to date. They divided singles into 3 groups…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/06/21 05:27 AM
11

Not weird, and you cannot compare percentages between the different age groups because of population sizes are going to be dramatically different. Most 65+ women who are single are most likely widowed because their husband already died. While the 79% of men in a relationship are still alive with their loved one, with the bitter/lonely 21% maybe are also widowed or loners.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/06/21 01:54 AM
4

This post is absolutely not disputing that, and OP grossly compared percentages to different groups which you can't because each group is backed by different numbers. A lot of younger people are not in relationships, and the population of that group is going to be like at least 10x the number of single retirement home folk. 65+ is a huge group with many likely home ridden too.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/06/21 01:49 AM
2

I don't think these numbers are proportional to be able to point causality in any direction. The number of people who are in each age group is vastly different. There are going to be like quadruple the amount of each sex in the 18-29 range than there will be in each 65+ group. Plus, you really think someone who is 80+ is going to be hooking up with a younger person? No, they're probably in bed and in a nursing home. Edit: Those are percentages for each age group, you can't compare percentages be…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/06/21 01:37 AM
9

Dude your comment doesn't make sense. Clearly if a person has tons of money, 10/10 looks, and isn't an asshole, they're clearly winning. Majority of people are not that, so they're not going to get the same amount of attention, hence "failing." Super generalized, but hope that explains what the other person was talking about. edit: grammar
/r/PurplePillDebate05/06/21 01:29 AM
2

You think capitalism cares what gender or sex a person is? Lol Though what you said does apply to most men, I agree with you there. However, sex does involve women, but the whole of women does not only have to be about sex. There's more to life than just sexuality, a person can fill the role of other faucets of life and its joys, it doesn't have to necessarily be a women with looks or whatever to be a qualification. Edit: grammar and clarification
/r/PurplePillDebate04/06/21 10:04 PM
1

For me personally, this would not affect how I value a person. Their followers and business (or lack of) is less important compared to how they value or go about the connection between them and I. A romantic relationship has more to do with the connection you both share. Other people don't matter if you both trust and know each other well.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/06/21 09:54 PM
1

May I ask what RMPs/SMPs stands for? I'm not familiar with those acronyms.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/06/21 09:50 PM
2

I think 30 is too early to set the cap, maybe 35 since like another person said many people change a lot in their twenties, and for some they are actually finally able to explore more confidently in who they are by their late twenties.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/06/21 09:46 PM
3

If this is more of a numbers game, wouldn't at least 1 person out of a hundred matches be very close to what a person wants and at the very least be high value?
/r/PurplePillDebate04/06/21 09:44 PM
1

How do you even know who is looking for serious LTR when some dudes love bomb and hide their secret agendas. Men are generally more objective oriented in their doings, the process to get what they want can easily be masked, and when you have 90 matches that sounds like a nightmare to weed through online when things are a lot less meaningful and superficial to begin with, it's harder to tell who is being genuine. At least for us men, if we have high emotional intelligence, we can easily tell if a…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/06/21 09:40 PM
-1

Times are changing, you're only talking about one side of the population and that is men. Also society values productivity the most, it just so happens looks and beauty come easier for women to fill in and have greater success in, but it's not the only area women can have value. A woman who takes up any male dominated profession will have inherent value as much as her peers do.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/06/21 09:34 PM
9

The fact this meme took off shows the younger generations are aware of the disparities that are currently going on. I think this has been exacerbated because of only fans, all these sad lonely dudes pumping money, wasting their time and energy on misguided intentions is HEARTBREAKING to see.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/06/21 06:40 PM
3

Yo that's a bunch of scary truth you said, I believe this is our current reality that will continue to grow in the next coming years. Treat your bro's and homies good, us men want to be objective and reach goals, while most women focus more so on the process of making relationships and cordiality. It's no wonder many women it seems say they "get along with men more." They want to be a part of that process to have fun while men are truly happy with reaching the end results in said activity. Edit:…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/06/21 06:36 PM
6

I have a feeling #2 is going to continue happening because of the thirsty dudes, but eventually #1 will be the norm once things settle down and work themselves out (hopefully).
/r/PurplePillDebate02/06/21 06:29 PM
1

So? Is that supposed to be a bad thing? Those good, honest, hard-working men will have standards too where they want an equal, they'll know being alone for some time is a lot better than settling. Men are fully capable of having self-control if they truly put themselves as a priority in life (as everyone should with themselves regardless of sex/gender). Most already live alone or single while enjoying and appreciating the company of others while they pursue their goals.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/06/21 06:18 PM
1

I don't think your example of fifty shades of grey is too relevant. Personally I don't think it's innate in the same way you're thinking it. Height has nothing to do with a person's ability to be a protector. I think women have been socially conditioned to be this way, and it's becoming more apparent as the patriarchy disappears. Personally I'm not going to date a women who is under 5'10", and if the woman happens to be taller and shows interests I think that's pretty cool.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/06/21 07:15 AM
2

I appreciate the definition, aw why not? It's interesting because what makes something like height attractive? My guess it all has to do with attraction, I'm just really confused what the real difference is on calling it a fetish or preference, both terms seem to be the same thing on similar degrees.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/06/21 06:36 AM
2

That's an interesting point, honestly I'm not sure what to classify a preference as a fetish for both men and women.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/06/21 04:15 AM
5

I hope our fellow bros stay strong, the best thing we can do is help any homies out by stopping them from simping, and make sure none of us entertain that bs. Edit: grammar
/r/PurplePillDebate02/06/21 04:05 AM
2

I've seen this happen too. It seems like most men are the butt of all jokes usually, we're supposed to be some stoic who can man up and "handle it." You kind of brought up two separate topics, one about people expressing insecurities and people have preferences. Men are allowed to have preferences, I think some people criticize it because the dating scene is female centered (at least to me), people think the dude is going to have to settle and will get no one having standards.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/06/21 04:04 AM
2

Honestly I've heard of both sides, some women don't know what to do with themselves or with a male body, and some men don't know how to properly deal with a woman's body. Since porn though is more male centered (though that is changing thankfully last I heard), you are 100% right it's probably porn regarding most men. Edit: grammar
/r/PurplePillDebate02/06/21 03:56 AM
1

100% yes! Hopefully there are enough people in your dating pool who don't get taken away from you, a lot of it depends on chance to meet that special someone where everything ticks off right.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/06/21 03:53 AM
4

RUN, RUNNN. The only thing an entitled person brings to the table with those expectations and doesn't apply it to themselves is their presence and sex which won't last a couple years if that's what the other person prioritizes. Edit: no one with a healthy mindset would settle for them.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/06/21 03:49 AM
3

I feel like this comment can be applied to both sexes. It's so sad to see some of the posts on r/depression or similar. Everyone is lovable and valuable, that will never change it just becomes more clear over time. Hopefully in the same process they become good people too.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/06/21 03:43 AM
15

That literally makes a person look pathetic, but yeah if they want to be that let them lol
/r/PurplePillDebate02/06/21 03:39 AM
8

I think that's a red flag, if a person has a standard they seek, they should also apply it to themselves.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/06/21 03:37 AM
1

This is the first time I've ever heard standards are a toxic male trait? I always hear men SHOULD have standards and keep themselves to it! If a person does not treat themselves to the same standards that's a red flag imo
/r/PurplePillDebate02/06/21 03:37 AM
1

u/DespondentColors, I think this thread answers the question a bit?
/r/PurplePillDebate01/06/21 05:08 AM
16

I'm surprised your comment doesn't have more attention! I think you brought up a significant point in how men vs women think. Men tend to be more goal-oriented, focusing on an impersonal truths and objective end result. Women tend to be more process-oriented, focusing on building relationships and value cordiality. Keep in mind this is highly generalized, we're all human first and you'll find both people regardless of sex. Edit: Wow found an article exactly talking about your post OP: Men System…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/06/21 05:02 AM
7

I feel like nowadays a lot women tend to generalize more so, we constantly see people generalize men into one category while women into all sorts of different types. A lot of women too see men as an aggregate to society instead of individuals.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/06/21 04:47 AM
1

I think this can be applied to both sexes honestly. People are starting to wake up capitalism was never the answer, we don't need more to be happy.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/06/21 02:36 AM
1

I can't argue that, so I blame society lol, literally. We preach standards but do the opposite when it comes to ideals. Ideals are precisely ideals because they are unattainable. I guess I'll focus on myself and continue to strengthen my willpower on this journey called life.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/05/21 11:50 PM
1

I can't imagine the anguish in such a situation, I'm trying to focus on myself and really would be stressed out if one, let alone two, persons were trying to get something out of me long term. I wasn't expecting you to comment, but here are my thoughts on the situation based on what I've been trying to figure out too. Compatibility is probably the number one trait that will determine long-term success, this reddit comment and thread have some insightful answers. That and wanting the same things …
/r/seduction31/05/21 11:17 PM
6

For the record I wasn't denning what you said (on average men do have stronger impulses for sex), but I really believe there's no disparity between self-control between sexes.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/05/21 10:57 PM
6

I beg to differ, we (men) have been socially conditioned to act out and accept this when both sexes are capable of having the same level of self-control.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/05/21 10:18 PM
1

OP it sounds like you're not really ready for a serious commitment, you still don't know what you want.
/r/seduction31/05/21 10:07 PM
1

I think the former (the humble/nice person) can work if you are a provider in some way, at it's basic core everyone likes someone who can acknowledge their existence if it is perceived genuine. As long as you don't give one person that same treatment all the time, it's going to make you desirable and them coming back for more.
/r/seduction30/05/21 07:45 PM
4

I think part of it has to do with the "mystery" and unknown about having a connection with you. The possibility of things not working out is postponed the longer you don't play or reveal all your cards while you show slivers of your social cordiality. The minute you place expectations that allow someone to completely compartmentalize your whole self it's over, there's nothing for them to figure out or guess anymore and they lose interest.
/r/seduction30/05/21 07:39 PM
11

idk why but this insult was funny as heck and unexpected.
/r/seduction30/05/21 07:29 PM
1

That's general good advice too when dealing with people involving money. Dang didn't know this, I can see why some people don't deal with prenups, they seem super specific and only good for being complacent and settling down, which is unrealistic when everyone is expected to always push themselves and grow as a person.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/05/21 02:54 AM
2

Woah, I appreciate the information. I need to learn more about this. Edit: I did a bit of reading and you're right, the judge will throw out a prenup if it contains ridiculous provisions (e.g., "no child support after divorce.")
/r/PurplePillDebate27/05/21 02:44 AM
0

A divorce only deals with alimony, child custody, and property division right? If you got a prenup wouldn't that make things somewhat easy to decide and deal with?
/r/PurplePillDebate27/05/21 01:49 AM
11

You confused two separate ideas into one, why would you use Urban dictionary where definitions are loaded statements with biases? An emotional tampon would be an exaggerated way of saying someone who is emotionally dependent on a person, which would be different from an occasional vent/rant, maybe call that an emotional wipe lol. With semantics out of the way, context is what matters here, how frequent are these vents/rants. Friendships are give and take regardless of gender/sex, some will give …
/r/PurplePillDebate26/05/21 08:32 PM
2

I would say yes and no, it depends on what influences a person grew up on. Of course it won't apply to every single person, but generally anyone who lives in an expensive city trying to get rich is going to value wealth and status more to push their own life further.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/05/21 07:29 PM
1

It's called having boundaries and standards, if they're going to be a friend why would a person try to fuck them, it's a bit disingenuous. I think men who do not have a porn brain can keep their good female friends separate from people they may be trying to go after.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/05/21 12:08 AM
3

You bring up a good point, a female friend of mine told me how it's annoying when her guy friends only try to talk to her and hang out when they're feeling bored and horny lol, like wtf. Literally not true friends
/r/PurplePillDebate26/05/21 12:05 AM
3

It's really unfair for women, men have been told growing up a woman is supposed to be his home and life, that's just too much expectations to place on a single person imo. Everyone should be there to support each other, not be overbearing towards the other.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/05/21 12:03 AM
2

This just sounds like a person wants to be valued and have special attention. Maybe this is why OP mentioned "women" (I'd argue any sex man or woman) can't do anything right. People will have varying levels on what they find attractive, but we all still want that special someone.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/05/21 10:37 PM
2

That's really interesting how you mentioned the growth mindset, I've been looking into it for a while and I personally believe it is a mark of maturity, where a person has great inner strength and can plan for more than just the present moment. Where they see obsticles as a opportunity to learn and grow, not a hinderance to runaway from. This is related to being reactionary or controlled, vs a more proactive, autonomous one. I also say the same thing, others in life are only there to support and…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/05/21 06:56 AM
1

It's kind of weird, a girl I know married someone 10 years older than her, it caught everyone off guard in our age group, but they were happy and that's all that matters. She doesn't have anything big going for her though, but are living a modest life. Maybe she'll consider college 10 years later after raising kids.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/05/21 06:49 AM
1

So basically some women want a man with good "manly" genetics lol. The equivalent of this is like boob size for women.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/05/21 06:40 AM
2

I think you're talking about when people start to lose their naivety, and see the world more for what it really is. Imo, that shouldn't mean you lose hope, if anything now we know a lot is dependent on us and that we can't naively rely on others to make us happy when that is ultimately at our discretion anyway. Once you accept reality for what it is things change, and if you're proactive the ball is in your court.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/05/21 06:36 AM
3

Your comment hits hard, that's the biggest truth bomb I've seen here.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/05/21 09:01 PM
1

I kind of disagree with this view, only because this is more old fashioned tied to the patriarchy, it doesn't have to be this way, it only has been because women were more often oppressed back then. Plenty examples of strong women who can handle their shit just as much as a man can, we're more similar than we are different.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/05/21 06:55 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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