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RecordingImportant94 Archive

View 0 posts and 289 comments by RecordingImportant94 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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20

His kids probably won’t even be that bothered if he’s not there, as he can’t be bothered to do his part in creating a safe and clean home for them and prefers to ‘loaf’ I highly doubt he makes the effort to engage with them either. He’s just mad that he’s going to lose his live in bangmaid and will have to do housework himself. And his kids will end up not wanting to go for visitation because he will live in filth without his wife to clean up after him. His kids will be happier living with a mot…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/12/21 08:04 AM
26

Yeah I clocked that too, even if she wasn’t living with him officially as she obviously had her own place to go back to, why was all her stuff at his place after a few weeks of dating?!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/12/21 10:09 PM
49

Lol. Last time this was posted about I got a looong angry diatribe from some guy because apparently we shouldn’t be mean about self inflicted bendy dicks. Remember to turn off your messages ladies!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/12/21 10:02 PM
16

I thought the other children were born to surrogates rather than random women he’d slept with. You would think if it wasn’t a surrogate that they wouldn’t have entirely given up custody, and they would be able to collect a very good level of child support from him, not to mention milking media attention to make an income. I think his girlfriend is his beard tbh, it’s seen as impossible for homosexual footballers to come out as the sport is so saturated by homophobia and racism.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/10/21 05:18 PM
15

This. After the first year or so with my ex I just stopped going out alone as invariably he would make some sort of fuss when I was out that would mean I had to come home. He would act enthusiastic about my plans initially, to lull me into thinking he didn’t have a problem with me having a life outside of him, but after a while it became easier to just never go out as I knew I would get called home. He achieved the aim of isolating me without me thinking he was being controlling or unreasonable.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/10/21 09:43 PM
7

Seconded, sounds like it would be and incredibly useful resource
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/10/21 09:34 PM
15

My ex broke or ruined so so much of my stuff. He was never that careful with his own things mind you, even when they were expensive, but it was easy to discern genuine lack of care for his own material things from him actively choosing to destroy my belongings. He’d hurl his games controllers across the room in a rage at losing his pathetic videogames, or ruin his clothes and shoes when out drinking, drop his phone in a puddle while drunk. But he would chose things of mine to wreck carefully, pi…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/10/21 09:24 PM
212

Shitty stick and pokes they’ve done themselves/by friends at parties. Anyone who makes such bad decisions ain’t the one.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/10/21 09:08 PM
45

It’s exactly that. My ex broke a bone smashing a piece of my furniture up as he was so angry at the imaginary slight I’d made against him(I was a few minutes late getting in from work while he was unemployed). He knew how scared I was of him from that point on, and that was exactly what he wanted. I love living on my own with no holes in the walls and knowing the furniture I buy will remain in pristine condition. I’m safe now.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/10/21 07:55 AM
487

“Voluntary hardship” = I’m broke, with no plans to remedy that myself, and I can’t be adult enough to provide myself (or any women I’m involved with) a decent standard of living. I will make your life harder and you can’t get mad at me because it’s a valid lifestyle choice 🤡
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/10/21 11:17 PM
6

This is the most important thing to take from the book, they are very unlikely to change, although the cycle of abuse can make it seem like progress is being made. I’ve seen studies that show it often takes a woman 7 tries to fully leave an abusive partner. After I made the mistake of going back once I was determined not to put my daughter through that again, let alone 7 times. When I left the next time it was for good. Lundy Bancroft saved my life, every woman should read this book.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/10/21 06:36 AM
11

This is all so valuable, thank you for taking the time to write out such a thoughtful, useful piece. Isolation is key for scrotes getting their claws into you and keeping you in their thrall for longer, it’s a weakness they can easily spot and exploit. It’s bad enough when you are in your own country/culture but it’s even more important in a meeting place where you are not 100% aware of customs. Both of my abuser exes met me at times in my life where I was beginning to drift from my friends and …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/10/21 09:17 PM
15

I’m almost grateful for the abuse that I was put through by the boyfriends I had from mid teens to mid twenties. Of course it would have been better to come to the realisation that male attention is not validating or worth chasing without suffering abuse, but now I am free and I can make decisions about my life with my eyes open. All the red flags I would have brushed off or ignored in the past are block and delete offences for me now, I can keep myself safe. My main goal now, aside from levelli…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/10/21 09:20 AM
9

A horrifying number of grown men think we piss out of our vaginas tbh.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/10/21 04:34 PM
9

Yeah I reckon this is a made up story. I have a few trust fund baby friends, and they have been aware of the funds since before they were 18 and had some control over the money. Bullshit that he didn’t know until he was mid to late 30s, you often have to pay tax on the growth, and my friends have had to handle that themselves (with their financial advisors) as soon as they came of age. Real or not this serves as a great warning to women. Even a partner who you have financially supported for year…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/10/21 04:41 PM
2

The number one thing is to not allow him to move in with you out of pity. It’s not your job to help him look for work either. Please prioritise yourself and don’t get sucked into being a caretaker.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/10/21 09:59 PM
66

My abusive ex would swap and change between being unable to do any basic chores to claiming he was superior to me at whatever it was. It was a total mindfuck to be with someone who would be blind to the mountains of washing up he created but would change his tune to showing me how to do it “properly” and lecture me about how I was leaving it to pile up when he wanted to dent my self esteem. I was working nights and caring for our daughter all day everyday, he never let me have a moment to myself…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/10/21 08:01 PM
87

Absolutely disgusting. I hope this girl finds a way to support herself financially ASAP so she can get away from her perverted father. It’s devastating that so many women find themselves in a position where they have to keep disgusting scrotes like this in their lives.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/10/21 05:17 PM
113

Nothing kills attraction faster than moving in together and realising your “partner” is actually a lazy slob who expects you to be their cook and maid. I love living alone and only having myself and my child to clean up after, my house is tidy, clean and calm 😊
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/10/21 08:09 PM
59

I’ve never seen the appeal of advertising myself like some sort of human eBay listing, let alone wasting my precious time on the selection of scrotes who seem to populate these OLD apps. I’ve seen what my friends have been through with men they’ve met on OLD and I am not keen on replicating it in my own life. I have a big enough real life social network that I can meet people organically if I want to, at least then you know a little more about them and their background. Meeting up with a literal…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/10/21 05:32 PM
7

I’m glad to hear you freed yourself and have your priorities straight. I spent over half a decade with my last ex and went from top of my class, at a prestigious university with the world at my feet to a drop-out single mother living in poverty. Over a year on from leaving and I have managed to get to a point where I am not struggling financially, I’m not wealthy but my daughter and I are comfortable. I have a good work/life balance with time to spend with my friends and on my hobbies, things I …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/10/21 01:22 PM
394

We need to eradicate the romanticisation of supporting a man through his “struggles” that is everywhere in society. We women are sold a lie that if we do the caretaking role with a male partner we will be rewarded with at the very least gratitude, what actually happens is they realise they can behave in increasingly worse ways and we will put up with it and coddle them. At the extreme end you get women desperately trying to see the good in men who are objectively trash, and preventing themselves…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/09/21 03:18 PM
30

I think a lot of the harassment of teenage girls comes from wanting to put women in their place young, to scare and intimidate them out of public spaces. Peadophilia certainly comes into it, and is a huge problem in society but street harassment isn’t purely done because of attraction.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/09/21 10:00 PM
113

I know someone who did this, I used to do it and she thought it would be a good idea, and when she turned up to her boyfriend’s dorm he was in bed with another girl. I used to surprise visit one of my exes, his female housemates were always weird with me, it turned out he was sleeping with one of them whenever I wasn’t there. They could have saved me a year and a half of humiliation but chose to keep quiet, which I sort of understand but he was no prize. He never did anything like that for me, I…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/09/21 06:51 AM
9

My abuser also used to send my few remaining friends evil messages from my phone, then delete them so I wouldn’t see, an attempt to isolate me further than I already was. I reconnected with some of them once I had found the courage to leave, and that was how I found out about what he had been doing. All we can do is be there for friends when they do eventually see the light and escape.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/09/21 08:58 PM
25

I would be very interested to see the results on such a poll, I am very sure that it would provide many women with the confirmation that these threats of suicide/self harm made by abusive men are empty. I’ve had two abusive relationships, both cited mental health struggles as their reasoning for abusing me, and both attempted to guilt me into staying or getting back with them because of supposed suicidal feelings. Both knew about my own struggles with my mental health and suicidal ideation and u…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/09/21 09:55 PM
9

Lasting for the long haul when he can’t even get an erection that lasts more than a few minutes because he masturbates too much 🤡
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/09/21 09:42 PM
75

She needs to divorce this scrote before she has anymore children and before she builds anymore assets for him to steal. Of course he waited until she was chained to him with a child to show his true colours, much like my ex. There were red flags before of course, ones easy to brush off as mistakes or whatever before you’re clued up, but abusers don’t fully drop the facade until they think they have you well and truly trapped with marriage/kids. I feel for all the millions of women who find thems…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/09/21 09:34 PM
6

My most abusive relationship started with him staying with me “temporarily” while he looked for a place of his own after his tenancy came to an end. He actually ended his tenancy early in order to leech off me. And quit his job. Of course I was being love bombed at the time and thought we’d be together forever so the relationship moving so fast wasn’t a bad thing 🤡
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/09/21 03:09 PM
76

The vast majority of sex that I have had has been coerced. I didn’t even know what coercion was or looked like until my mid twenties, in my mind (and what I was told) there was sex that you wanted and violent stranger rape, I had no idea there was such a vast grey area of coercive sex. It is essential that women and girls are aware of these tactics from an early age to avoid trauma. When I first realised what was happening to me in my last relationship, I initially tried to convince myself he di…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/09/21 12:05 PM
12

This behaviour is not only pathetic, it’s incredibly abusive. This woman, and any woman being treated like this, needs to gtfo of the relationship as quickly as possible. The description of his eyes after she called him out was terrifying and reminded me so much of my abusive ex. He would goad me and make problems for me with my education or my workplace and if I dared challenge him I would see him change before my eyes into the monster he really was beneath his facade. These men are desperate t…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/09/21 07:54 AM
29

I am also a single mother to a daughter, and share your view on having men in the home while she is living with me. Peadophiles target single mothers to gain access to their children, and it’s too much of a risk imo. Even if the men aren’t predatory it must feel awful that your mother would prioritise a man over your safety.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/09/21 07:27 PM
50

I once knew a guy who asked why we couldn’t just clear a period all in one go. He described it as ‘just like doing a shit made of blood’ and insisted he was right and this was totally possible if we just made the effort 🙄
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/09/21 03:45 PM
482

Intentionally depriving someone of sleep is an insidious form of abuse. My ex did this to me when our child was tiny and a very poor sleeper. I was working nights having done childcare all day and would be responsible for putting the baby to bed, then going to work, then back to deal with night wakings. He wouldn’t take the baby in the morning to let me sleep, he claimed the lie ins for himself. I survived on around 3 hours sleep a night for years. I think it’s part of the reason it took so long…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/08/21 06:57 AM
458

He says it’s “finally” cosy, like this took more than 20 minutes of moving stuff into the room from a van. Probably spent longer setting up the fish tank than arranging the furniture. The stereotypical scrote “bed” is just 🤮
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/08/21 06:30 PM
38

The way he put “pedo bad” in quotation marks told us everything we needed to know about him. It’s sickening that there are so many men like this.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/08/21 05:43 PM
46

This book opened my eyes and helped me get away from my abusive ex, I am forever thankful for a woman recommending it to me on another forum. Every woman should read it, I’ll be giving my copy to my daughter once she’s a teen. I want to make stickers recommending it, maybe with the url of the free pdf online, to put up in women’s public bathrooms.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/08/21 05:36 PM
3

I’ve really enjoyed Saturn Returns with Caggie, I have found most of her guests to be really interesting and not total kooks who buy into every “spiritual” craze. In astrology your Saturn Return is during your late twenties, a lot of the content covers people making big life changes, focusing on themselves and levelling up. The way the world is now I think that is the age where people are reevaluating the choices they made at 17/18 a decade later with a lot more experience and maturity to make m…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/08/21 07:21 PM
17

So consent matters to him when posting anonymous stories online, but not for real life sexual encounters. He is happy to pay to rape a woman. I mean, I’m pretty sure this is some incel fantasy shit, but he really has not succeeded in making himself the hero of the story in the eyes of anyone with even a shred of a moral compass.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/08/21 12:46 PM
201

This. None of the single mothers I know (including myself in this) have left the father of their children for minor issues, it took pretty serious, sustained abuse over long periods of time before they left. No one takes the decision to become a single mother lightly, if it was bad enough that another woman has decided it’s easier to face the stigma of single motherhood than stay in the relationship the man is total trash.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/08/21 09:55 AM
310

When discussing these things, don’t show your hand first. A manipulative or abusive man will mirror your views in order to seem like a HVM who has values aligned with your own.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/08/21 04:55 PM
2

Congratulations! As someone who has been there, it will only get better from here, you’ve got your whole life ahead of you without an abuser pulling you down. Treat yourself to new pillows and fancy covers, buying new mattresses/pillows/duvets with no trace of my ex was really therapeutic for me. ❤️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/08/21 02:13 PM
25

This is amazing, thank you so much for posting this for us all. People here get really touchy about criticisms of cosmetic surgery, or even using makeup and it’s really valuable to have such a well written piece debunking the myth that every choice a woman makes must therefore be feminist or empowering.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/08/21 11:54 AM
3

I left at 25, it was like a switch flipped and I suddenly saw what was happening to me clearly. I will be encouraging my daughter not to even consider serious romantic relationships before 25, the desperation I had to settle down young was hugely detrimental to my prospects in life and it is going to take a hell of a lot of work to get back to where I was.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/08/21 09:18 AM
2

I’m so sorry you’ve been through this too. I hope that you’ve escaped and can spend time healing. I’ve made so much progress in the time I’ve been away from my ex, the sense of freedom is incredible.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/08/21 09:14 AM
10

Sounds like my ex. Swapped from a well paying, professional job to a cash in hand construction job when we split so he doesn’t have any recorded income for me to claim child maintenance payments from. Luckily I am absolutely fine without the money, but it’s unbelievable to me he would wreck his own life prospects just to ensure I don’t get a tiny sum of money from him for our child. And he is still under some delusion that I will want to get back with him despite all this.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/08/21 09:10 AM
18

Oh 100%. I was late teens when we got together, looking back it explains a lot.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/08/21 02:32 PM
105

Calling it “maintenance sex” is a red herring in itself. I would try to think of the sex I was having with my ex as “maintenance sex” in order to not face the reality that I was being coerced into sex with sulking/rages/silent treatment. For the last few years of the relationship I never actively wanted to have sex, I was just aware that he would make my life even more hellish if I didn’t accept his advances. I couldn’t see an escape from the abuse, and society minimises this type of intimate se…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/08/21 11:47 AM
18

Women should never ever have children with men like this. Because although these men will be far too lazy and selfish to actually care for their kids during the relationship, they will fight for main custody in the event of a divorce so they can claim more maintenance from the woman who was actually doing the childcare while also being the sole earner. And as they were in the “housewife” role before the split, despite not fulfilling any of the obligations, they are often granted main custody. Th…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/08/21 08:34 AM
11

This was my life. I am so so thankful that I managed to escape. This poor woman, I hope like me she eventually loses the blinkers and realises she is being seriously abused and flees with her children. There is no punishment harsh enough for the men that subject women to this vile behaviour. Women are brainwashed into thinking this is normal and acceptable behaviour, when they would never ever treat someone else like this yet don’t question any of this type of abuse being inflicted on them by so…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/08/21 09:49 PM
10

I think that having dating in the title is actually very helpful, despite a lot of the advice leaning towards not dating at all until you find a HV man, it means that women who are still trapped in a pickme mindset will find it and be enlightened. I found FDS when I was still fresh from leaving my ex, and I was slipping back towards the need for male validation, this space has solidified the feeling that actually I don’t need that at all, my life is much improved from not chasing men anymore.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/08/21 11:54 AM
5

I’ve just always found the idea of OLD really odd and uncomfortable, I don’t want to expend the effort to “sell myself” to a load of strangers online, who I know from my friend’s experiences will be 99% awful. I haven’t been single in over a decade, and I am relishing having the time to spend on myself when not with my daughter. I had very little freedom when I was with her father and it’s still a novelty to be able to watch or read what I want, buy what I want and go where I want without him gu…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/08/21 07:18 AM
35

It took my ex acting in the appalling, abusive way he did with me in private (violent, drunken rages were an almost daily occurrence) at a party in front of a large group of our friends for me to leave. I had wanted to leave him for a long time, but couldn’t bring myself to do it as I didn’t want to look like a bad person, breaking up for seemingly minor reasons. Although that night I was terrified, it was the best thing that could have happened, it set me free. I’ll never hang on to a shitty re…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/08/21 10:44 PM
17

I had a guy do this recently, approached me in the street. He was at least 30 years older than me, fat and ugly. I was genuinely offended that he even thought it was a possibility that I would go on a date with him. Like, really? I shouldn’t have even engaged, but I assumed from his outfit and demeanour that he was gay so initially felt his compliments on my dress were non threatening. Mistake. Lesson learnt, don’t engage politely with any man who approaches you, it’s social conditioning that’s …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/08/21 07:39 AM
18

I wish I’d have known about the texting red flag at the beginning of my last relationship. I don’t actually like endless texting, but because the ex before him was even less into texting than me, I took the early enthusiasm from the new guy as a green flag, when in actuality it was quite controlling in a way. He expected to have my full attention even when we weren’t together, and initiating what seemed like deep, meaningful conversations via text was really just making sure he was constantly on…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/07/21 03:40 PM
25

My ex became very well read on feminism once he realised it was one of my interests when we first got together, I initially thought it was great, until I realised he just absolutely loved mansplaining feminism to me. And his knowledge never meant he treated me as anything but a mommybangmaid.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/07/21 09:40 PM
37

One of my shitty exes even avoided doing this by buying disposable plastic cups and cutlery and paper plates. Or he would just eat straight from the readymeal containers.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/07/21 12:04 PM
9

I wish I could upvote this a million times! I’m so sorry that you were subjected to such vile behaviour by your ex, mine was very similar. I have to have contact with him due to our child, and he takes every opportunity to whine about how shitty his life is and how me leaving him and supposedly treating him badly has left him suicidal. He is a violent rapist but that is erased from his version of events that he tells to anyone who will listen.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/07/21 10:45 PM
20

So many excellent frugal treats suggested already! I choose to “splurge” by purchasing a slightly nicer version of something that I need. I also try to spend my money on brands with good ethics, run/owned by women. It’s nice to feel you are supporting other women with your spending. Plus I’ve found buying items from brands that are made in my country, rather than in sweatshops abroad, tend to stand the test of time better than cheaper alternatives. My financial advice would be to save anything y…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/07/21 09:46 PM
6

So pleased to hear you’ve triumphed after your suffering. It isn’t easy at all escaping an abusive man, which is why FDS is so important imo. Vetting, and leaving at the first red flag, will massively improve the odds of women avoiding violence from their intimate partners. I’m actually grateful I’ve learnt this lesson early on in my life, as it means the rest will not be spent suffering unnecessarily in order to have a relationship.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/07/21 09:58 PM
102

Please leave him and get your own place or other women as roommates. You are in danger, they start by punching walls and breaking furniture, then turn that violence to you eventually. You can live without constant stress, in a home that doesn’t constantly remind you of impending violence, it will be life changing honestly. I’ve been there and it is amazing how living like this saps your life force so completely.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/07/21 07:47 AM
55

I guarantee he never wanted to be at the birth anyway, the game just gave him an excuse to miss it, but I’m guessing he was chuffed to have something to write on a sign that would get him noticed. He is laughably pathetic.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/07/21 07:56 PM
37

Rape convictions are so low I highly doubt it would even get to court. Let alone result in jail time. Juries generally only give a guilty verdict when it’s a stranger who raped you, despite the vast majority of rape being perpetrated by men the victims are in relationships with.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/07/21 06:38 AM
6

My ex would sulk and act generally moody whenever we had days out or were celebrating with family. Every photo he looks miserable. He soured every nice occasion, it’s so wonderful now knowing that days out, birthday meals or trips away will actually be enjoyable now he’s not involved.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/06/21 11:29 PM
260

Despite always having had a high sex drive, I have really enjoyed my year of celibacy. It feels amazing to take back control of my body and treat it as the temple it is, especially after years of coerced sex with my ex. I initially toyed with the idea of getting a dating app for the first time just to scratch an itch so to speak, but I’m so happy I didn’t, the longer I go the more clarity I find. A few moments of hormonally driven lust with some random, probably shitty guy is not going to make m…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/06/21 08:12 PM
36

I didn’t go to the dentist in over half a decade while I was in an abusive relationship. He spent all our money on himself, so I could never afford even basic checkups, plus I was so ashamed of how I’d let myself go and had no pride in my oral health. When I broke free and finally saw a dentist it wasn’t great news, although I’d miraculously avoided cavities, I had been grinding my teeth through stress for years and now need a fair amount of expensive work done to address the damage. It feels so…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/06/21 01:01 PM
4

You’re free. You’ve given yourself the best gift by escaping that man who was intent on dragging you into a hell hole. You can learn from this and protect yourself from exploitation in future. My sincere congratulations, remember how strong you’ve been whenever you feel down, you deserve so much more than the life you’ve experienced so far.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/06/21 11:42 AM
20

To prove their dicks work. To continue their “legacy”. To gain trust and kudos in a corporate environment. Rarely because they actually want to engage with parenthood.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/06/21 09:29 AM
23

It’s a total trap. If you dare to have a career you’re painted as a bad mother, if you stay at home you’re seen as a useless, lazy lump, if you have a part time, usually low paid role to fit around childcare you’re branded again as both lazy and an unfit mother. Women who become mothers cannot win in a patriarchal society. I believe this is why childfree women are so vilified, as they have avoided this trap of being devalued in society’s eyes and therefore maintaining personhood as a woman is sh…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/06/21 09:27 AM
14

Seconded. I’m happier than ever as a single mother, I never would have believed it when I was stuck in the fog of the relationship.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/06/21 11:08 AM
5

Just because he isn’t quite as bad as others you’ve dated does not mean you have to bind yourself to him forevermore. You can end a relationship for any reason you damn well please, even if he has some good qualities, that doesn’t make up for the fact he is suffocating and controlling. As a rational person you’ll accept that perfection doesn’t exist, but that doesn’t mean you just settle for vaguely decent (and tbh he doesn’t sound great at all).
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/06/21 11:05 AM
42

Now I’m not a lawyer, but I’m pretty sure that consent doesn’t work like that. I guess his dad knows no other law firm would hire his scrote son after his embarrassing attempt to sue because his stinky dick stopped him getting laid. Men’s entitlement knows no bounds.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/06/21 10:59 AM
58

Yep. Major red flag. Sadly it’s one that usually only raises its head when you’ve already moved in together. My ex would take it upon himself to show me how to do chores “properly” once in a blue moon and I would be expected to be eternally grateful that he did 1/4 of the dishes. Never in over half a decade of us living together did he do his own laundry. He seemed house proud and capable of adulting when we met, the mask dropped as soon as he moved into my place and I took far too long to work …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/06/21 10:44 AM
10

I see you’ve also suffered meeting my ex
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/06/21 10:04 PM
33

Agreed, sperm bank all the way for procreation. I’m not in a position to have another child, but if I decide in the future to have another I will not take the risk of doing it the traditional way and having to hand my child over to a deadbeat for half the week as I currently do.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/06/21 09:42 PM
122

Doing that would mean she could be accused of parental alienation (and slander) and if it went to court she would lose custody herself. Unfortunately child custody courts across the world put men’s feelings ahead of mothers valid concerns about their exes. This blog post discusses the issue, with a very brave woman attempting to have parental alienation syndrome debunked https://filia.org.uk/latest-news/2021/6/16/false-parental-alienation-syndrome-an-interview-with-irene-costumero
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/06/21 09:39 PM
12

As someone who has been where you are, the tough times are more than worth it to be free. You cannot put a price on your freedom and independence. Future you will look back and thank current you for making this choice, I’m absolutely sure you will flourish now that you are flying solo. Congratulations!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/06/21 09:08 AM
53

This is super interesting, especially as a single mother to a daughter. I knew I didn’t want her growing up seeing the awful way her father treated me, most of the time he kept his abuse to times she was sleeping or at childcare, but her stepping between us at the age of 2/3 when he was yelling at me and then telling him not to shout at me was a wake up call. She should never have felt that responsibility to protect me, and I will never ever let her feel that’s on her again. No man will be havin…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/06/21 09:03 AM
87

I’ve learnt from my mistake, giving up my financial independence actually meant giving up my independence across the board. I feel rich, even though I’m working a low paid, part time job, because I can finally make my own decisions regarding my finances and don’t have a scrote wasting any income on beer, gambling and video games. Becoming financially dependent on any man, HV or otherwise, is a deeply naive and risky move. Economic independence is liberation.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/06/21 06:24 PM
10

The best sex I ever had was with a guy with a truly enormous dick. And actually, it wasn’t purely because of the size, he just knew he couldn’t skip foreplay and jackhammer away, he spent a looong time getting me aroused and ready and was then gentle and slow with the build of pace to make sure I was comfortable. I’m sure some women maybe do have a preference for a smaller dick, but purely because it will potentially hurt less when they are suffering through a scrote jackhammering. If these guys…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/06/21 05:41 PM
24

My ex used to talk horribly about his friends in private, except the ones he was currently using to get what he wanted out of them. It’s started leaking out now that he is so bitter over our breakup, he has barely any friends left as any who actually spent time with him regularly have got sick of his shit. Mutual friends have finally started to twig why I left, when at first they all took his side and I was painted as a heartless villain.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/06/21 08:47 AM
37

This is such a useful resource. When I initially found FDS I was still deep in my anger over the abuse I had suffered with ex partners, I was absolutely terrified of entering the dating world again, especially as a single mother. I feel recently that I have turned a corner, while I am still not planning on dating anytime soon, I am now feeling more positive about the possibility of finding a romantic connection with a HVM in the future. And this has all come about because I have worked on myself…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/06/21 08:52 PM
151

Exactly. So called “vanilla” sex can be incredibly passionate, exciting and explorative. It’s tragic that the desire for all the wonderful sensations that come from sexual unions with a strong emotional connection have been replaced by the promotion of acts which are painful and degrading. I have a high sex drive, and celibacy (by choice) for over a year has been eye opening, it has given me time to heal from the trauma of being raped by ex partners and has meant I could take time to think about…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/06/21 08:44 PM
7

It’s so nice to see success stories, congratulations!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/06/21 07:29 PM
2

Good for you! I wish I’d come to this decision earlier. It’s honestly not worth the risk and the hassle of getting them out once they have wormed their way in and show their true colours.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/06/21 05:33 PM
3

He initially framed it as caring about my health. It took me a while to realise why he was doing it, and it still felt intrusive.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/06/21 05:30 PM
1

Thank you. I only wish I’d realised earlier that it was doable, even without any income due to the pandemic. You are never truly trapped but these abusive men create a psychological cage for you and so many women believe they couldn’t survive on their own. It’s worse when you’ve had no real independent life before, which is a big part of the appeal of younger women to these scrotes. I daydream a lot about creating a charity to provide escape funds for young mothers with abusive partners, as wome…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/06/21 05:28 PM
68

I have found it very telling that, having had a baby in my early twenties, it took until my brain had matured at 25 to leave the abusive father of my child. I will be making sure my daughter makes it to 25 without tying herself to a scrote for the rest of her life.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/06/21 07:05 AM
20

Because women are taught that bagging a man, literally any man, is the pinnacle of womanly achievement and serving him will bring them happiness beyond anything else. Even when the data clearly states the opposite. I am so thankful that I’ve snapped out of that mindset, it’s tragic so many women are still blind to their choices.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/06/21 01:15 PM
52

This. When I tell people I’m a single mother they immediately express sympathy, I’m quick to tell them I’m happier now as a single mother than I have ever been. I have the time, money and energy to work on myself and create the life I truly want, not wasting it serving some scrote. The only blight in my life is still having to speak to my child’s father.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/06/21 01:08 PM
148

My ex was so paranoid about me lying about my period to avoid sex he started tracking it. I had never lied about it, but because of the amount of stress I was under in that relationship, the dates I would get my period were really erratic. He would insist I was lying because he’d decided I should be bleeding for x number of days starting on y date and never anything outside of that. Now I’m over a year out of that relationship my period is finally regular and predictable, and I never have to wor…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/06/21 01:02 PM
67

Reading all of these stories just solidifies my decision to never live with a man again.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/06/21 12:50 PM
51

Exactly. Women suffer from misogyny enough without hurling it at one another too. My two most awful exes had wonderful, strong mothers who had done their utmost to raise good, respectful men. I refuse to believe it was these two women’s fault that their sons became my rapists. I will never blame a woman for a mans bad behaviour, even if he is her son.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/06/21 07:46 PM
5

Same here. I’ve not had many partners, but only one made any effort to perform oral, and I shooed him away even though I was enjoying it for the first time ever, as the ex before him had given me major hang ups about it. I’m super tempted by the Lelo Ora or their new suction toy but as I’ve never had an orgasm from oral I worry it won’t do anything for me and will be a waste of money. Would appreciate any advice from ladies who’ve been in the same position and had success with these types of toy…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/06/21 05:46 PM
2

Thank goodness she has left. It is terrifying that women are socialised to see the best in men to the point we cannot perceive the abuse happening in plain sight, even to extremes such as this. A healthy dose of vigilance around men is what women truly need.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/06/21 09:48 PM
4

My ex, and the father of my child, literally admitted to being jealous of the relationship I have with my daughter. He deeply resented that he had to share me. Even now, long after I left him, he still complains about me taking my daughter on days out and doing things with her. I have more fun and enjoy my life with just me and her more than I ever did with him. This scrote can’t even measure up to a dog, no wonder he’s so mad 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/06/21 09:41 PM
17

I am so sorry this has happened to you. You have had an enormous shock to the system and your life has been turned upside down. I just wanted to say, that no matter how awful you feel now, you will bounce back from this. It will take time and effort, but you will eventually look back at this as a turning point in your life for the better. I’m a year out of a relationship with a man who I’d known since childhood who flipped suddenly into someone I didn’t recognise, and I’m happier than I’ve been …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/06/21 09:28 PM
5

Reading about blended families online is like watching a car crash in slow motion. The new wives are only posting to try and get internet strangers to confirm their man is some sort of angel and had no hand in the break up of his family, when if he was, they wouldn’t be posting in the first place. I do not understand why anyone would subject themselves, let alone their children, to that. I love being a single mother, I will never invite that drama into my life.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/06/21 08:59 AM
25

Oh my god same situation here! Both also continued to contact me repeatedly, long after I dumped them, to ask if I was now sleeping with anyone else. I should have blocked and deleted
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/05/21 08:11 PM
69

I know someone who has 30+ siblings, that they know of. None of them see their dad.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/05/21 08:07 PM
3

Were we with the same scrote?! Terrifying that there are so many of them around
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/05/21 11:31 AM
9

I’ve never been on the apps, but having seen the disgusting messages friends have got, and the way they have been treated by the men they’ve met via apps, I have no intention of trying them. Why allow predatory men to invade your peace and private space when you don’t have to?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/05/21 01:28 PM
35

Agreed. My daughter isn’t even school age yet and she helps wash dishes when we’ve done baking, she also enjoys helping me tidy, dust and hoover. We make it fun, put on music and sing and shimmy away while we do chores. I had a cleaner growing up and adult life without that privilege was a bit of a shock, I was pretty clueless, I’m hoping my daughter will be more self sufficient than I was.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/05/21 09:30 PM
175

Same here. I worry that when my father and I go out together and anyone overhears me call him Daddy that they will assume he’s my boyfriend. I’d never ever use it with a partner, it’s too weird, who wants to be infantilised by someone you’re having sex with?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/05/21 08:56 AM
34

It’s real car crash viewing. None of the couples I’ve seen should have got married, I doubt many of the marriages will stand the test of time, the men are always LV/NV. However, if the women had done even a smidge of research they would know that the budget wouldn’t even cover half of the venue hire for the stately homes they always envision their wedding days taking place in, let alone outfits/food/drinks/decor. I do wonder how much of the disappointment is real, as surely they have seen the sh…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/05/21 09:09 AM
6

The worst of all!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/05/21 09:20 PM
8

I’ve never had a decent gift from any of my exes. The jewellery was always awful, feeling obligated to wear something tacky that you would never have bought yourself is the worst. My parents set the bar high for truly thoughtful gifts, I don’t know why I put up with such crap from my exes.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/05/21 09:20 PM
7

I don’t believe in “forgetting” chores, especially if there is conveniently a woman living with you who will pick up the slack. Of course no one is perfect, but needing someone to manage your life as if you’re a child is not anywhere close to a HV quality, and is an attraction killer. I hope you’re right and he’s not taking advantage. I truly believed my ex was HV, he turned out to be an abuser, and it crept up on me, I don’t want to see any women being duped into wasting their time on LV/NV men…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/05/21 04:06 PM
16

LV men will say anything to keep you as their mommybangmaid, they’ll act surprised and as if they didn’t notice the disparity in chores/life admin and put on a show of listening and being respectful. They know what they are doing. Ask yourself if you would be unaware of how you had clean clothes/dishes if you were using them but weren’t actively cleaning them? Do you think he truly hasn’t noticed everything you do for him? Does he not even thank you for your labour? If you’re having to have thes…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/05/21 10:19 AM
27

This is why parents need to be strict about their children’s internet access. Parental controls installed and only having use of devices in visible, shared areas of their homes. I was exposed to porn at a young age by another child via MSN, and then on a friends family computer where her dad had left his porn on when we fired it up to play the sims. I plan to be incredibly vigilant about internet access once my daughter is old enough, and I will be having conversations with her friends parents a…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/05/21 09:39 PM
26

Chrissy is the one who comes out of this looking tacky af
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/05/21 11:51 AM
15

This is what a lot of my friends parents did for them when we were teens to encourage saving. This is not something you do for a husband and certainly not for a boyfriend.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/05/21 11:49 AM
39

My abusive ex has been stupid enough to admit to a lot of what he did in messages, and to neglecting our child currently, I’m storing them all up for taking him back to court to get full custody. Please make sure you take some time for self care in amongst all of this, I’ve been there and riding the high of getting things done is intoxicating, but going back over the abuse may bring up feelings later once the high has worn off. Look out for yourself in all ways. I hope you get the result you wan…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/05/21 09:52 PM
122

I am so so susceptible to this, I know I can’t do casual sex. I tried once, and I pushed away the only decent man I’ve ever been with because I had swallowed the libfem lie that casual sex was empowering and liberating. We had similar interests, he paid for every date, was incredible in bed and I had be convinced it would be better to insist I didn’t want a relationship. I was just a mess, spent countless hours sobbing my heart out because he backed off like I asked him to 🤡
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/05/21 09:31 PM
7

Exactly, she will have a bigger market share/wider audience as a barely legal sex symbol than as a teen dressed in baggy streetwear. Which means she makes more money for the men behind the scenes. She was only marketed the way she was previously to appeal to Gen Z, but they don’t have enough capital to spend to make the bosses richer, they were always going to switch her image up to lingerie clad seductress as soon as it was possible and play it as a coming of age thing. The shock value of the s…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/05/21 09:23 PM
27

I don’t think we as women should perpetuate the myth of vaginas becoming loose after childbirth. Yes birth can be traumatic for the woman’s body, and recovery is a long process, but if healthcare provided the necessary rehab for the kegel muscles (as they do in France) there is no reason for women to not recover their previous “tightness”. I hate that I even have to say that, as we are worth more than the state of our genitals. Kegel exercises can also help women who experience incontinence afte…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/05/21 09:07 AM
100

It’s far worse than a “benign” fetish. He doesn’t fetishise pregnancy, he simply wants to trap her and keep her beholden to him for the rest of her life
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/05/21 08:48 AM
3

Which makes it even more disappointing. The magazine really took a positive step towards inclusivity when Alexandra Shulman left. This Billie shoot is the opposite of the new supposedly woke direction.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/05/21 07:27 AM
22

She’s not defying anything, all the young women and men in the music industry media spotlight, are controlled and marketed by their record labels, which are owned by old men. They make very very few decisions themselves. As someone who also has a background in history of art I’m very interested to see your interpretation of this shoot as an intelligent decision, made by herself, in terms of how she is viewed. If anyone is interested in reading more about female artists presentation of themselves…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/05/21 07:19 AM
48

I’d guess she’s worried about her husband straying with one of these barely out of childhood women. Or he already has
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/05/21 06:38 AM
59

This was like having the most horrific flashback. The screaming rages and desperately trying to de-escalate the situation. My ex would follow me round the house screaming and swearing at me like this while I was trying to get away, cornering me and getting right up in my face. Even when the rage had started over something totally unrelated to me, like another man “disrespecting” him in a bar or at work when I wasn’t even there. If I didn’t respond in the way he wanted while he was venting he wou…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/05/21 09:48 PM
23

My ex definitely saw himself as a victim, that quote is enlightening. I may have to order this book as well as watching the documentary tomorrow when I have some time.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/05/21 09:39 PM
9

My ex calls me an ice queen because now I grey rock him whenever we have to communicate. I love it 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/05/21 09:24 PM
21

That’s excellent news. I wish I had had such a wake up call earlier in my life. This woman has everything going for her and to throw it away for a man that shitty would be truly tragic. Her small home will feel huge without a manchild taking up space. And then she can pick her own perfect place without taking a leech’s opinion into account.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/05/21 09:22 PM
42

What’s the betting he lives there rent/bill free? I sincerely hope this opens her eyes to how she is being used
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/05/21 12:06 PM
165

She should pack up his stuff that’s in HER home and leave it on the sidewalk while he is away. Or venmo him for storage costs until he gets back and takes it all away. What a fucking leech this scrote is.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/05/21 11:26 AM
4

I don’t mention I’m a mother on my CV or in interviews for this reason.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/05/21 10:03 AM
29

It was. So happy I’m free
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/05/21 10:01 AM
25

The love is sacrifice, fighting for love, putting your all into a partnership, working on relationships bullshit is fed to us from day one, and it is so damaging. It is almost always a one way street, with women made to feel they need to change themselves in order to win the prize of a man who really couldn’t give a shit about them. It’s a nasty trick to keep us down, imagine what women could achieve if instead of trying to build up useless, ungrateful men we focused on ourselves? I’m glad you’r…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/05/21 09:49 AM
110

I’m not sure what’s worse, the premature ejaculators or the ones who have to pound away for what feels like hours before having to use their death grip hand technique to finish anyway.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/05/21 09:39 AM
113

I know the article you’re talking about. The shock value will have got more people to read it, and hopefully have got them thinking more critically about their own experiences. I have spent a lot of time thinking about my own after discovering radical feminism 4/5 years ago, and it is deeply saddening to me that a great deal of the sex I’ve had has been coerced, and was therefore rape. As well as experiencing the accepted forms of violent and drugged rape. The last two years of my last relations…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/05/21 09:36 AM
65

Doesn’t surprise me. My ex decided he only wanted one child after he realised that said child took time away from me serving him. God forbid his bangmaid having another child to look after, it meant he would get even less attention. He spent his paternity leave playing video games and drinking to celebrate. Slept soundly as I did all the night wakings, and I was lying awake next to him snoring unable to get back to sleep after feeding and settling the baby, yet he would complain to me, our frien…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/05/21 07:40 AM
53

This, embarrassingly, could so easily have been me if I hadn’t found FDS. After my breakup I had fantasies of reconnecting with my only decent ex, and telling myself we could just have a casual one time encounter and it would be great for my self esteem. The feeling that you need to be desired to be worthy of anything is a powerful one that society pushes on women from an early age. I knew deep down it would be a bad idea, seeing stuff like this and reading FDS confirms it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/05/21 10:41 PM
40

I’ve done more job applications this week than I have ever done in my life. Admittedly none of them are for any sort of dream job, but if I can increase my income even a tiny bit, I can work towards my goal of setting up my own business while studying to improve my employability. The market is fierce due to COVID but I’ve put my best foot forward and can only hope something comes along soon, the rejections haven’t been good for my self esteem so I had really pulled back from even trying - but I …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/05/21 10:31 PM
19

It’s terrifying. I don’t know if I will ever trust my judgment on men again. I’ve never really been single since I was mid teens, and while I’m the happiest I’ve been in over a decade, I still have pickme ish feelings to work through. Thankfully I’m too scared to actually pursue dating, but I hope my newfound vigilance will serve me well in future. I certainly won’t put up with even a fraction of the things I did before, and I won’t ever tie myself to a man with a child again.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/05/21 10:19 PM
44

My ex started quite subtly. He was extremely keen on me starting to exercise to get back into shape, but under the guise of it being good for me mentally. He got me an expensive gym membership but never actually allowed me time to go and exercise, he was always out drinking “working late to provide for the family” while I looked after our child. And I was young when I had my daughter, my body bounced back and recovered very quickly, I was back in my old jeans very quickly without doing anything.…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/05/21 10:09 PM
13

That’s awful, I hope you, your mother and siblings are safely away from him now.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/05/21 09:45 PM
17

I’m glad you were so well prepared. I wish I had been!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/05/21 09:42 PM
4

I wish it hadn’t been so normalised to feel the need to have the appearance of prepubescent genitalia for grown women. I hit puberty younger than most of my peers and vividly remember being shamed in a changing room for swimming lessons by one of my “friends” because I had pubic hair. Then came an awful boyfriend who would recoil at any stray hairs I’d missed and who refused to go down on me because vaginas were repulsive to him unless for penetration. I definitely have complex around the issue.…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/05/21 09:42 PM
133

I think the problem is that abuse often begins when the woman is pregnant or has given birth. I truly believed my ex was a good man, anyone who knew him would have agreed, he was extremely well educated, good job, a feminist, well connected, popular, had a clean and tidy home, could cook, was kind and generous, polite to serving staff, excellent with children and animals etc etc. He still turned out to be an abusive piece of shit, but only once I had given birth. Of course women should heavily v…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/05/21 07:46 PM
81

We need to keep in mind that the advice that’s given on Reddit inevitably comes with an agenda, whether it’s from men or pickme/libfem women. I’ve rarely seen any good advice, and when I do it’s usually downvoted to oblivion. To be honest, people should think hard about whether these relationship issues are worth them working on when it’s got bad enough to ask strangers on the internet for advice. Once it’s got to that point it’s over in my opinion. “Love” isn’t worth fighting for.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/05/21 04:07 PM
5

You’re a warrior woman, you’ll come back stronger and with more wisdom
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/05/21 03:41 PM
2

My situation sounds very similar, I’m so sorry you went through this too. My ex had isolated me from my friends and prevented me making new connections, and other close friends had moved abroad, so I spent years only hanging out with his friends so it wasn’t totally unexpected they sided with him. I’d thought some of them were better people than that but clearly not. It is traumatic when a relationship ends and so do the related friendships as you don’t have the support you need during a difficu…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/05/21 03:36 PM
5

I’m so sorry you were treated like that after going through trauma. It is sickening that the justice system serves to further traumatise victims/survivors rather than actually serve justice. I hope you are doing better now and can find ways to heal ❤️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/05/21 10:37 AM
4

Agreed. I think signs of emotional abuse, and the other more subtle forms such as financial abuse, should be taught in schools. I grew up thinking abuse was only being hit and physically attacked. If I’d spent less time wondering why my ex was doing what he did and whether it counted as abusive I would have got out earlier and have been in a much better position than I am now having left, and I would have avoided the inevitable escalation of violence.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/05/21 10:33 AM
21

I think it’s more nuanced than that. My ex had almost nothing to do with our child when we were together, now he has half the week to emotionally abuse her. She has gone from a happy carefree child to one constantly worrying about her dads moods as he tells her he is lonely and that I’m mean to him (I am nothing but polite and civil to him especially in front of her)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/05/21 09:11 AM
22

It goes along with the lie that men’s lives are ruined by accusations, false or not. Most actual rapists don’t even face justice. Women’s lives are ruined when they report anything as they are painted as lying harpies with an agenda in the media or in their social circle.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/05/21 10:47 PM
18

It’s awful feeling you’ve been duped by friends you trusted after breakups. I was shocked that my ex has managed to keep so many of his friends, even after they saw with their own eyes how appallingly he treated me. One of them had even pulled him up on his behaviour towards me multiple times, yet couldn’t even look me in the eye once we’d broken up. No loss to me as they are clearly shitty people to knowingly “side” with an abuser, but it was surprising all the same.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/05/21 10:41 PM
52

I totally agree. I toyed with the idea of my depression being so called late onset PPD, it was actually the result of being abused by my child’s father, the humiliation of being duped and trapped. I felt miraculously better once I left, even if it took me far too long to get to that point.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/05/21 10:00 PM
18

What a truly inspirational woman. You’re very lucky to have her, thank you for sharing your story.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/05/21 09:42 PM
36

Quite simply choices are not made in a vacuum, and in a society that heavily polices women’s appearance it’s naive to say anything appearance related is “doing it for me”. Capitalism depends on selling us products and services we don’t need to correct the problems they have created in our minds. Our insecurities are big money. I know I’m not immune to it, I’d admire any woman who was. I deeply resent the fact I’ve been made to feel I have to pluck my eyebrows and remove other body hair to be see…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/05/21 09:21 PM
10

I’m so sorry for your loss ❤️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/05/21 07:53 PM
59

My ex fought for 50/50 and has close to it. His relatives provide most of the care for our daughter on his time and he neglects her needs. He did almost nothing with her when we were together yet somehow it’s apparently in my daughters best interest to spend half the time with someone who can’t even attend to her basic needs. He knew that taking her away from me would be the worst punishment he could inflict on me for leaving, and it gives him an excuse to be in regular contact with me. It also …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/05/21 09:58 AM
32

They also definitely keep score of how active your sex life is. My ex would be able to reel off all the days we had or hadn’t had sex in any given month. That attention to detail was never used for anything other than to guilt me into sex
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/05/21 09:14 AM
178

And now I need a crown. You look amazing! It’s totally normalised in society that women can wear tiaras for their weddings, we should wear them whenever we want to remind us of our inner strength and power
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/05/21 09:38 PM
1

“Basic decency 101” is not asking someone to risk their life for you in the first place. Exploitation is exploitation regardless of how much you plan to pay for it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/05/21 12:14 PM
1

While I have sympathy for women going through medical treatments that will prevent them carrying a child, I still don’t believe they should be able to pay for another woman to risk her life so that they can have biological children. Having a child is a privilege not a right, and the world isn’t fair, sometimes it isn’t possible. That’s no excuse for choosing to exploit economically vulnerable women for what is a want not a need. Women’s bodies should not be rented whether for sexual services or …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/05/21 11:58 AM
2

I didn’t even bother trying to bring evidence against him for this reason. I know one person who had enough to get her kids away from her ex initially, but he just kept going back to court, financially crippling her, until he was allowed access. Even though the kids didn’t want to see him as they were rightly scared of him. The courts just serve to abuse women further in many cases.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/05/21 11:33 AM
55

Having their shirt off in public is major LVM vibes. I used to cringe when my ex did this at the merest hint of sun, he would think women were looking because he was jacked, I’m almost entirely sure it’s because they thought he was being uncouth.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/05/21 07:25 AM
75

Tip, turn off your messaging function. I got a fucking essay about how evil we all are off some sad scrote over the bent penis post. I’d speculated in a comment my ex may have had a bent dick because of his excessive porn/masturbatory habits and it made some guy with a wonky willy really mad. Just don’t even allow them to contact you with their impotent rage, let them scream into the void.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/05/21 09:43 PM
5

Yep. People should avoid judgements of mothers when they haven’t been in a domestic abuse situation and have no experience of the court system. Violence and abuse towards the mother doesn’t count as abuse towards the child where I am, so despite MRAs claiming that fathers have no rights in regards to their children and custody this is not the case, they will get some custody unless the mother has evidence of abuse of the children and in many places 50/50 is the starting point and preferred by th…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/05/21 09:26 PM
5

It’s impossible to feel desire for a man who leaves shit stains in their underwear and expects you to clean it, no woman wants to fuck a man who acts like a toddler. Whereas men are obviously down to use the woman who they use as a therapist/maid/nanny as a fleshlight as well. I had a high sex drive, but no desire to fuck a man who constantly disrespected me by treating me like a servant. Edit: typo
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/04/21 12:29 PM
14

That has got to be THE worst proposal story ever.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/04/21 09:38 AM
9

So happy to hear you are free. I empathise with the gnawing anxiety of dealing with having to act as a trained sniffer dog to find whatever it is the useless scrote you’re sadly attached to has lost, as they get more and more angry and push it onto you, it’s awful. I get very stressed if I misplace something of my own, and as my ex was literally never totally sober he lost important things on an almost daily basis and of course it was my job to work out where he had put whatever it was. I had so…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/04/21 08:55 PM
72

I cringe when I think about how I’ve pursued men in the past. I’m a confident, friendly person so it seemed natural to go after what I wanted, that’s what we are encouraged to do in most aspects of life but it doesn’t usually turn out well with men. My exes who were the most persistent in pursuing me turned out to be abusive though. I’m not planning on dating for a long while so I can continue to work on myself, but at least I will hopefully go into it knowing how to avoid lovebombing and knowin…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/04/21 07:57 AM
75

Eurgh. So after all the mantruming he had the audacity to follow you into the toilets, he knew it had gone badly and decided he would warn you he wasn’t going to let you get away. These men are unbelievably entitled.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/04/21 07:48 AM
70

But they need urinals, you can’t expect them to aim properly when they’ve masturbated so much they have a bent dick which can’t piss straight /s
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/04/21 04:03 PM
10

Brilliant.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/04/21 04:00 PM
79

Oh my god. I had vaguely thought about obsessive masturbation being the reason for the slight bend in my ex’s dick, I had no idea it was an actual thing with a name! Thank you for the education
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/04/21 02:47 PM
43

Having a child is not a right, it is a privilege. Surrogacy is a topic I feel very strongly about. While I understand the anguish women must feel if they cannot have a child of their own when they desperately want one, that does not mean that renting another woman’s body is an acceptable solution. There was a story recently of an American surrogate, Michelle Reaves dying during childbirth, leaving her own children motherless. I don’t know if she was paid, no articles I can find detail whether it…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/04/21 10:19 AM
31

That’s such a good point. Also surely, if the incels decided to reduce the number of “chads” in their violent killing sprees, rather than killing women, they would theoretically be increasing their chance of securing the women they desire to own instead of reducing the pool of women. Obviously I am not advocating their murderous rampages, but for the LoGiCaL SeX they sure do shoot themselves in the foot with current femicide method. But blaming women does protect all men from the atrocities the …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/04/21 09:41 AM
4

Oh I know how you feel, moving is stressful as hell even with someone helping. My ex came for a few days while I was away to get his stuff and pack. Did no packing, partied with his friends and left dirty dishes in the sink for my return and had the audacity to complain to me that I should of reminded him that he’d need clothes when he neglected to pack his clothes to take away and only took his games console. But soon it will be over and done with and you will be free. And all of this will be w…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/04/21 09:41 PM
1

I’m so sorry this happened to you, and I am so so glad to see that you are safely away from him. Stories like this are disgustingly common unfortunately, abusers know they have to lure you in by presenting the perfect image of loving behaviour before they switch to murderous acts. I would never have believed when I met my ex that he would end up violently raping me and threatening my life.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/04/21 09:24 PM
32

This. If married without children you can always divorce and simply walk away. Once you have a child with someone that’s it, they will be in your life forever in some form. I thankfully never married my child’s father but I’m dreading having to interact with my ex beyond the bare minimum as our child gets older and will presumably want us both at important life events.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/04/21 09:19 PM
5

This is beautiful. I left my daughters narcissistic abusive father and I hope I can do as good a job as your mom clearly did. Both with levelling up myself and teaching my daughter good values and how to thrive. It’s so wonderful to hear stories of how incredibly strong women can be in overcoming the hardships life throws at them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/04/21 09:12 PM
18

100% I wasted a decade between two abusive losers from my mid teens onwards. I squandered my opportunities and potential and neglected my female friendships in favour of being a mommybangmaid to men who treated me like crap. Thank god I found FDS before stumbling blindly into another soul sucking relationship with a scrote.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/04/21 08:41 PM
13

You’d think with how much they love touching their precious peepees they would at least notice smegma before it gets to that encrusted level of filth.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/04/21 03:47 PM
4

This is inspired!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/04/21 03:44 PM
30

I wish I hadn’t had my ex in the delivery room. He was not helpful at all, kept leaving to smoke and ate all my snacks I’d packed in my bag for after the birth. He didn’t even think to tell me well done or whatever after I had spent hours in pain with only gas and air to bring his child into the world. Also wouldn’t let anyone take a picture of me and our new baby together without him, nor did he take any himself. I still get really angry about it even years later. The man doesn’t need to be the…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/04/21 08:46 AM
24

My ex thought it was acceptable to punch holes in walls/doors and kick and smash things when he was angry, but funnily enough it was never his stuff that got broken in these tirades, mostly mine and occasionally our child’s toys. He would also follow me around the house forcing an “argument”, even if I was agreeing with him to make it stop, he’d batter the bathroom door if I tried to shut myself away. I’d be out at the first sign of rage now, but it makes me so sad I put up with it for so many y…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/04/21 07:40 AM
22

They’re either bitter about how high school went for them or hung up on that time of their lives being their “glory days”. Even decades later. Sad sad sad.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/04/21 02:19 PM
41

Mhmm I’ll pass on both options. Thankful every single day I had a daughter. You can’t stop society’s influence no matter how good a job you do raising a boy. Both my abusive exes had awesome moms, they still turned out like shit.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/04/21 08:41 PM
50

Women have everything easier because “everything” to these losers is getting laid. He is conveniently not aware of the orgasm gap for women in heterosexual relationships
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/04/21 05:35 PM
11

You’re entirely correct. None of my exes came from a background like my own, and it definitely caused problems because of their envy for what I supposedly had. I’ve pointed out before that just because my parents are “rich” it doesn’t mean that I was. I wasn’t spoiled, I had nice things but I have also worked part time at various places since I was 14, the pandemic meant I was unemployed for the first time in a decade. Working hard was expected, my parents would never just hand me money and I wo…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/04/21 10:02 AM
16

My ex referred to my period as “blowjob week” 🤮
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/04/21 09:10 AM
6

Seconding the lunette recommendation, I found the silicone much softer than the other three brands of cup I’ve tried and the stalk doesn’t poke you painfully as again it’s softer and more flexible with less pronounced ridges. I’ve been using menstruated cups for a few years and would never use a tampon or pad again.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/04/21 09:08 AM
3

She didn’t even clean it that well, I still wouldn’t wash in that. I mean I’m sure it took a hell of a lot of effort to get it to that state but 🤡
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/04/21 09:45 PM
7

Your mom sounds awesome! I would have loved her reaction to getting your first period, I’m a lifelong Olsen twins fan :) My mom was sort of helpful, but I was made very aware I had to keep anything “down there” related very hush hush. I will be following your mom’s example with my daughter.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/04/21 11:51 AM
10

So happy for you! I’m currently waiting on my new place to be made ready after fleeing DV so I understand how elated you must feel to finally have a safe place to call home. I would install a door chain if there isn’t one already, and perhaps a few other heavy duty bolt locks on the inside of the door if that is allowed by your housing authority. I would also put up sheer curtains or blinds that let in light but don’t allow a clear view into your flat if there is a view in from the street (if yo…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/04/21 09:54 AM
17

Fostering or adopting a child, while a wonderful selfless thing to do, is not the same as having a child yourself and having a positive influence before birth. Many children in the foster/adoption system have deeply embedded traumas and mental health issues from their early lives and most people are not going to be equipped to deal with that - for the child’s sake. I have a friend who was adopted as a child, but she spent her early life with drug addicted parents and was exposed to drugs in the …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/04/21 09:41 AM
9

I’m in a very similar situation, although I always thought I wanted 3 kids, now very happy with just my daughter and not planning any more. I find positively reframing my situation helps me when I feel disappointed in myself. Life doesn’t always turn out as planned, but the biggest positive in all of this is we can teach our daughters to learn from our “mistakes”. Levelling myself up and making sure my daughter does not end up in the same position as me is my life’s work. We can pass on such val…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/04/21 09:34 AM
12

Yep. My ex did almost nothing to care for our daughter while we were together, yet when I left him fought for 50/50 custody because he “wasn’t going to be a deadbeat dad” and crucially didn’t want to pay any child support. He palms our child off on his relatives during his time, even when he isn’t working, which to be fair is somewhat of a blessing as she at least isn’t neglected by them. He is thankfully slowly losing interest though, especially when I said I wouldn’t claim any CS payments from…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/04/21 09:23 AM
17

I had sex 3 weeks after giving birth because I couldn’t stand the sad expressions on my exes face and the whinging any longer. He felt neglected you see, because I was obviously focused on our brand new baby, breastfeeding round the clock, as well as doing the food shopping, cooking and everything else in the house, so I was of course totally exhausted, while he went out all day every day drinking to “celebrate” the birth of his child. I was lucky that I didn’t have any birth injuries and it was…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/04/21 09:17 AM
24

They haven’t even read any Tolstoy, they just saw a chunky book with his name on it once and think it will make them sound worldly and smart. How could they possibly finish a book when their pee pees need attending to and they’ve destroyed their brains with porn?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/04/21 09:29 PM
6

My daughter is still very young, and previous posters have covered a lot of great stuff already, but I make a point of princesses saving themselves from the dragon/troll/bad wizard when we play with her toys. We have female knight characters too. I try to guide her play (and the media she consumes) to show women and girls as having agency over their own lives not waiting around to be saved as I heavily internalised that message despite being an active and physically capable child myself. Subvert…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/04/21 09:14 PM
1

We have a child so unfortunately I cannot block him. I’m hoping and praying that enough grey rock will get him to leave me the fuck alone eventually though.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/04/21 08:58 PM
32

They should start showing pictures of sad shrivelled limp dicks at the start and end of every video, much like the warning pictures on cigarette packets. I’m pretty sure there was one of a man crying sitting on a bed with a warning about ED on cigarettes back in the day. Surely their beloved pee pees not working anymore would be enough to put off at least the newer young porn users before they get sucked into an addiction that will ruin their lives.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/04/21 08:56 PM
19

I knew from early on with one of my exes that he lied to the people close to him and to his bosses at work, going to extreme lengths to corroborate his stories. I just believed we had a special connection, it was true love and he would never do that to me 🤡If I caught him out, which I did many many many times he would twist it so that I felt bad that he “had” to lie to me because of whatever bullshit emotionally manipulative excuse he could come up with. He’d lie about things it was totally unne…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/04/21 08:45 PM
20

You’ve hit the nail on the head. I suffered from very poor mental health while with my ex and when I was in a depressed state he would pester for sex, insisting it would make me feel better, I would feel I had to have sex several times a day to keep him happy. However, during periods of mania, when I became hypersexual he would turn me down constantly and happily go long periods without sex suddenly. I can now see it was all part of his abusive control tactics and my mental ill health was almost…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/04/21 08:37 PM
100

Love these! But now I want sneakers with some sort of wolverine-esque retractable blades.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/04/21 02:51 PM
11

As someone who was trapped into an abusive relationship when a bit younger than you by having a baby, RUN. RUN RUN RUN. I love my daughter and don’t regret having her, but no way in hell am I letting her throw her life away in her early twenties like I did. And I don’t want any other young women to either, work on achieving your dreams and living your life DO NOT get tied to a loser scrote for the rest of your life by having their kids.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/04/21 02:49 PM
16

I’ve never believed that men are more visual, they just watch more porn than women. Women are far more likely to notice little details about almost anything than men, hence women dress better, style their homes better etc. I remember reading an article in Elle magazine as a teenager which was discussing a study that was done to assess the visual sexual response differences between men and women, and actually the women studied were more aroused by visual stimuli than the men. I kept all my old is…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/04/21 10:15 AM
8

Please do!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/04/21 03:04 PM
1

I am a single mother, though I wasn’t on paper at the beginning, and it is so so much better than doing it “with” a man. My workload has been reduced massively by leaving my ex, I resent how much time I spent essentially mothering him when I could have focused 100% on my daughter. The only negative of single parenthood is having to share custody with my ex. I am undecided on having any more children currently, as being in/leaving the abusive relationship with my child’s father has set me back si…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/04/21 11:38 AM
4

Three years?! I was really hoping my ex would give up soon, but his hoovering attempts have just increased month on month, and I’m nowhere near 3 years of being away from him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/04/21 10:27 AM
4

The arbitrary measures for alcohol addiction are responsible for gaslighting so many partners of addicts. My ex was also a violent drunk, but only drank beer so wasn’t a “proper” alcoholic. I am so sorry you were put through that, I hope you’re safe and away from him now
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/04/21 10:19 AM
8

Yep. If you’re at the point you need couples therapy it’s too late. No one gets to therapy without already attempting to address the issues themselves, which are probably glaringly obvious, and if that has been unsuccessful because the person causing the issue does not want to change, how is paying someone else to tell them that going to help? If they wanted to they would. Making the woman’s reaction to the porn addiction the issue rather than the addictive behaviour is gaslighting.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/04/21 09:55 AM
5

Husband has a cuckold fetish? Only explanation for staying friends with a man who sexually assaulted your wife and allowing him anywhere near her or your home. She should move on her own, leave these awful men to drink themselves to death alone.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/04/21 09:36 PM
7

I have known so many men who have done shit like this, my ex included. It is beyond revolting. One former friend opened his girlfriends closet and pissed all over her clothes and shoes while supposedly sleepwalking drunk. Funny it wasn’t his closet that was right next to it. It’s not an accident.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/04/21 09:09 PM
10

Not a single woman here wants to date this man, or any remotely like him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/04/21 10:14 PM
8

One of my favourite things about not living with my ex anymore is no longer sitting or standing in urine splashed all over the toilet seat and floor. And this makes me even more thankful I don’t have a son. Fuck getting that level of disrespect from a person you created and risked your life to bring into the world.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/04/21 10:12 PM
4

I’m so sorry that happened to you too. I was eventually violently raped by my ex, but it snapped me out of forgiving him, seeing the absolute hatred he had for me as clear as day. I almost view it as a blessing now, weird as that sounds, I spent a long time wishing he would hit me so I had a “valid” reason to leave, the undeniable sexual violence was a line in the sand which could not be explained away. And I will never make the same mistakes again. I don’t know how long I would have put up with…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/04/21 10:06 PM
13

My ex did this at parties too, but tbh I got to the point I preferred it as I loathed him so deeply by the last year or so that we were together. It was the only time I ever got to socialise at all as he would use various tactics to prevent me seeing my friends without him. At the beginning of the relationship he’d be stuck to me like glue, showing me off to his friends/colleagues but he quickly devalued me and made me into a shell of myself, realising that I was a worthy person who people enjoy…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/04/21 10:00 PM
20

I have friends who I discuss this future with regularly. It’s looking more and more like the dream scenario as time goes on especially as it is nigh on impossible where we live to buy property as a single person. I’m pretty set on never living with a man again, but living with my friends and raising our kids together sounds amazing.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/04/21 09:50 PM
25

Same here. It’s heartbreaking. My ex also purposefully broke my phone and I lost so many of the selfies of me with our child as a baby as he had pawned my computer so I hadn’t backed them up. I take millions now, and pay for extra cloud space.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/04/21 09:28 PM
6

Mole king 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/04/21 02:01 PM
61

I wish I’d left my ex the minute he started punching walls. I excused it for so long, always thinking it was a one off or it wasn’t his fault he couldn’t handle his emotions that he hadn’t been taught proper coping mechanisms. But it got more and more frequent, and escalated to breaking my things and our child’s toys in rages because I’d challenged him over his general behaviour. He never once broke anything important to him like his precious games consoles. His solution to being asked to be bet…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/04/21 11:25 AM
18

The audacity to refer to her as his partner. Partners share the workload, not allow one half of said partnership do everything while they sit back and observe. My ex viewed himself as the managing partner, and would spend more time criticising what I’d done (which was all chores, cooking and childcare 99% of the time as well as working) than doing anything for himself. God forbid he didn’t have any clean underwear because he’d used any clean ones in his drawers as jizz rags and I’d not anticipat…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/04/21 05:59 PM
13

As a single mother this is a big part of why I will never have a blended family situation. There is far too much risk to my daughter for me to even consider it, the proliferation of incest porn is shocking and disturbing. Not to mention parents differing views on internet access and privacy for children, it would be very difficult to enforce different boundaries when you have two sets of children bouncing between 4 homes. My daughter isn’t old enough to browse the internet yet, but when she is i…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/04/21 01:52 PM
5

I have a friend similar to this, though thankfully she hasn’t yet married the decade older than her loser boyfriend. She’s got enough money to never have to work, more wealthy even than the woman in this post, and is now paying her leech boyfriend a salary to help with her hobby. Her family openly hate him and that has given her an “us against the world” mentality making his hold over her stronger. I’ve stayed quiet on criticising him (because I know this could lead to her pushing me away and be…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/04/21 01:14 PM
4

Yep. The only person who will be with you forever is your own self, and that should always be a woman’s focus.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/04/21 01:00 PM
23

If you find evidence like this and you’re scared to confront the guy because of the crime of iVaDiNg hIs PriVaCy then it’s time to leave. No way around it. DARVO tactics are the biggest red flag, and it will just mean they are sneakier next time, and there will be a next time. They don’t want to change.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/04/21 12:11 PM
12

I feel so incredibly sorry for this woman, she should kick him out before the baby is born, I can’t imagine he is going to be any support at all with childbirth or raising a child when he finds a rash disgusting, how will he cope with blood, shit and vomit. Women can’t even escape ridiculous beauty standards when pregnant or recovering from childbirth, and he is comparing her to someone half her age bringing her down even further. I’d bet even if she was younger and not suffering complications h…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/04/21 12:06 PM
22

This is such valuable advice. I had to expend a lot of effort to rebuild my social circle after leaving my ex, and it was a lonely few months after the breakup as so many did take sides and picked him. He isolated me from my friends when we got together and I spent years only really seeing his friends who were mostly men and tbh it was no real loss after the breakup when they disappeared. Now after nurturing female connections I am surrounded with wonderful, supportive women who I am so incredib…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/04/21 11:55 AM
32

Sounds like the conversations with my ex. He wants me back and whenever I point out the abuse he put me through in plain language and state that I am never subjecting myself to it again and want nothing to do with him outside of arrangements for our child he goes through this script. It’s like they all attend the same scrote school and graduated with honours.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/04/21 11:43 AM
99

Yep. My ex attempts to guilt me into taking him back on a weekly basis. Nope. Not happening. I won’t even discuss it when he begs to talk about it. I don’t need a guilt trip about escaping his abuse and I most certainly am not going back even though he proclaims he has changed and would do anything (he hasn’t, and he won’t) I’m not a bad person for leaving him, it’s not my responsibility that he is unhappy without his mommybangmaid. We have to remind ourselves of this constantly to counteract th…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/04/21 11:37 AM
17

You’d think men would know this given how much they love comparing women and cars
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/04/21 03:07 PM
18

I dropped out of university because of my scrote ex destroying my mental health. I can now see he wanted me to be dependant on him, I was doing better than he had and had the world at my feet and I stupidly gave it all up for ‘love’. I’m now a single mother on the breadline, but doing all I can to get back to where I was as a teen so I can provide the best for my daughter. It is my life’s work to make sure she doesn’t end up like me, no scrote is going to be pulling her down and trampling her se…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/04/21 03:01 PM
13

I also think him pressuring for more children is a control tactic beyond wanting a boy, he won’t actually love and care for any child, he just knows it’s much harder to leave an abusive husband if you will be the sole provider for multiple children. I’m thankful every day I stopped at one and got out, it’s been hard but doable, if I’d had more children it would have been much much harder. This man wants his mommy bangmaid tied to the house and kids so exhausted she can barely think so he can go …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/04/21 11:26 AM
2

🤮
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/04/21 08:59 PM
41

This has been all over my social media today, people posting memes about Prince Phillip and then the DMX orchid thing like he was some beautiful caring being. Tbh I just think posting mourning tributes on SM is an odd thing to do, and I’m absolutely sure most of the people posting the DMX stuff had never heard of him before the announcement of his death online. It’s more about how they want to be viewed than anything else and rappers=cool royalty=not woke.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/04/21 06:05 PM
22

My ex invited several down-on-their-luck friends to live with us at various points. It was bad enough living with him, adding more useless scrotes made it unbearable. I wised up and stopped cleaning up after them and the kitchen and bathroom got disgusting so quickly. None of them lasted long due to this but the ex would also let his already low standards of cleanliness drop when they were around. I had the sense to kick them out but not him, more fool me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/04/21 06:25 PM
6

The worst thing in all of this is that the women she is selling this idea to are some of the most vulnerable, mums with awful boyfriends or husbands they should dump who are desperate for cash. It isn’t going to bring even 1% of them anything like 7k a month, and will mentally damage them for life, put them at risk from stalkers, their children may be bullied because of it and it’s damaging the mothers future job prospects and their social standing. The only people who think this is a good idea …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/04/21 06:34 PM
32

Foreskin poetry?! I’m dead.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/04/21 10:39 AM
2

Me too, and when I’m first with someone and haven’t yet discovered they’re an arse I find people with similar features to them attractive. Not one of my former partners have anything in common physically.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/04/21 01:54 PM
30

I’m fairly certain I will remain single for the rest of my life, I know for sure I will never live with a man again. I have a daughter and I am not willing to risk her happiness and future by bringing a man into her life for my potential benefit. Even if a man seems good he could turn at any time and I don’t want that disruption for myself and certainly not for her. I think it’s deeply unfair to children when mothers continue to chase men bringing them in and out of their children’s lives contin…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/04/21 02:26 PM
33

My exes with supposed mental health issues both only seemed to have anxiety or panic attacks when I was out doing something for myself. They both used my empathy, having struggled with my mental health myself, to sabotage my time away from them whether I was out having fun or at my job. One definitely used going to therapy as a space to pick up more manipulation tactics and stroke his ego. Funnily enough a lot of my own dark thoughts and struggles cleared right up once I was away from him, reali…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/04/21 08:56 AM
7

This community is so valuable because of all the work the mods do, there are so few spaces on the internet (and in real life) where women can speak freely without being talked over or shouted down by men. It is wonderful to be here and feel the sisterhood, thank you to the mods for being the guardians of a much needed space ❤️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/04/21 09:57 PM
11

Difficult one, most of the time I would say no but the partner I had the most enjoyable sex life with I actually struggled to orgasm quite a lot of the time, and usually I find it quite easy, but he made the whole experience exquisite. He was extremely well endowed and I think that was a factor, I was nervous about potential pain due to my ex prior to him jackhammering me with his pencil dick, and so much of orgasm for me is mindset. He never did anything to hurt me but I was so worried about it…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/04/21 01:32 PM
2

So women are a separate species from men? Explains a lot about that scrote’s world view.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/04/21 06:13 PM
3

It’s certainly an adjustment at first, and it can seem so hard, but this is the best thing you will ever do for yourself. Congratulations to you on your freedom
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/04/21 06:08 PM
7

That’s a lovely visualisation
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/04/21 06:28 PM
3

This is fucking sad. Bet he has never put this much thought, effort or planning into doing anything nice for this woman. His long suffering girlfriend needs to wise up and dump him asap. Also can’t help thinking that bath mat is so close to the toilet, probably drenched with scrote urine as you know he’ll be too lazy to actually get it all in the bowl 🤮
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/04/21 02:39 PM
10

At my high school we had a man come in to talk about self defence, he recommended we carry small blades for ‘peeling apples’. I thought it was batshit at the time but now...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/04/21 12:17 PM
92

I don’t even think they rationalise it to that extent, they are just so incredibly selfish and feel no shame. Their children are just another inconvenience in the way of them enjoying themselves. My ex did the absolute bare minimum with our child when we were together, yet fought for and was granted 50/50 custody when we split to punish me for leaving and so he wouldn’t have to pay any child support. Having a child as a single mother by choice via sperm donation seems to be the only way you can …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/04/21 09:50 AM
70

I used to frequent a parenting forum when I’d first had my child and you would occasionally get mothers posting tearing themselves apart because they were so sleep deprived that they let their babies fall off a bed or a sofa or banged their heads on a table corner when learning to walk. They would be utterly distraught, blaming themselves and questioning whether they were a good enough parent. Men don’t give a shit, and would never blame themselves or question their adequacy. Nor do these men ha…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/04/21 09:45 AM
29

I think while there may be an element of martyr-ish choices, it’s also a very common symptom of depression to not take time over self care or to neglect it entirely. And who wouldn’t be depressed in this situation? I can relate to the woman who wrote the post, I certainly went days without washing when my child was small and I was being abused by the father. It’s not necessarily a lack of ability to do this self care but a lack of motivation after all your mental and emotional energy has been sa…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/03/21 08:33 PM
8

It’s definitely all a scam to extract money from people made to feel desperate and fear being single and it’s scary that it’s such a huge industry. FDS provides information to avoid being used and abused by men, which is genuinely useful, but these ‘dating coaches’ provide nothing beyond common sense and societal/gender expectations occasionally wrapped up in various flavours of pseudoscience. I mean how utterly cringe if someone realised you were using texting templates/tactics from a dating co…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/03/21 03:32 PM
42

I really hope she gets out before he finds these videos and really unleashes hell on this poor woman. My ex got into my email to find my username on another forum, then stalked all my posts in which I was getting advice from other women on how to leave the abuse safely. He was incandescent with rage that I would talk anonymously about my life problems, and at that point I wasn’t even sure what I was experiencing was abuse, he punished me for months, the details of which I won’t go into as it’s v…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/03/21 12:26 PM
7

I wish I had faith in the justice system and I could take this advice, but if I got the police involved I am genuinely scared he would murder me. He has a family member whom several women took restraining orders out against and despite attacking them, stalking them and sabotaging their businesses he hasn’t even had a slap on the wrist.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/03/21 12:17 PM
5

I stayed with an ex 4 years and he never once went down on me because it was ‘gross’ 🤡 gave me a complex about it so I didn’t let future partners even attempt it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/03/21 11:45 AM
8

It’s unbelievably frustrating to deal with this when you have a child and custody agreements so you can’t just block. My ex cycles between raging at me and begging me to get back together, harasses me over whether I’m seeing anyone (I’m not planning on being involved with another man for a looong time if ever and happy with that) and tries to guilt me over ‘breaking up the family’. He literally ignores anything I say, and grey rock method has no affect on his pursuit. I feel bad, but I hope he f…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/03/21 10:03 AM
74

I always do orgasm easily, until the connection to the man inevitably falters due to his shitty behaviour outside of the bedroom. I have to feel safe and loved to orgasm. One ex would throw epic tantrums and sulk if I didn’t orgasm, and would insist on having sex again immediately if I didn’t, so I started faking it to avoid his rage and avoid having even more unsatisfactory sex. Any dents to his ego would send him off so I felt I had to keep him happy. Thankfully he is an ex and I won’t tolerat…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/03/21 09:27 AM
153

Walking dates are simply not going to get these scrotes what they want, there isn’t much potential for eye contact while you’re walking alongside one another, and that leads to not much opportunity for flirting. A woman would be putting herself in a dangerous position to have a sexually suggestive conversation (which is probably what he means by spark aka potential to give out pussy at the earliest opportunity) while on a secluded walk with a man she doesn’t know. Tbh I think it’s dangerous to g…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/03/21 08:56 AM
10

I wish I’d had this mindset from the beginning. Being a single mother has been a million times better than being with my child’s dad. I was doing it all alone anyway, just with the addition of an alcoholic draining our money, making me cook and clean for him and demanding sex daily. If I ever want another child I will be doing it via sperm bank 100%.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/03/21 11:45 AM
13

Typical. She’s boring for taking an interest in the most significant thing that will ever happen to her and could leave her with lifelong physical issues. Breasts are ‘gory’ to these pathetic porn sick men as soon as the idea of them being used for their biological purpose is in sight. I breastfed for two years and my ex stopped touching/caressing me during sex for the entire time I was lactating, made me feel gross for doing the best for our child and let his family bully me into covering up or…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/03/21 11:38 AM
21

I’ve found this sub has led me to a place of comfortable indifference towards men, which is the best place to be. I’ve had two long term relationships with men in my life and they both treated me absolutely atrociously, I threw my all into the relationships and let it take over my life, making them happy was my reason for living - which obviously made me feel awful when my levels of love and care were not even 10% reciprocated. I went through a phase of really hating men and that anger doesn’t s…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/03/21 09:49 AM
2

20 days until your freedom and a bright future, stay safe.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/03/21 01:35 PM
3

20 days until your freedom and a bright future, stay safe
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/03/21 01:35 PM
5

Oh yes. I was destroyed by sleep deprivation for years, I did all the dealing with the baby in the night, then when I got a job it was always night shifts to save on childcare I’d get home in the early hours and still have to deal with our child. Then he would wake me up on purpose and never let me sleep in.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/03/21 12:23 PM
5

Speaking as a single mother, it has been so much more enjoyable and fulfilling raising my daughter without her father dragging me down. I had resisted leaving as I thought it would be harder to do it alone, but the opposite was true. My only advice to those who want children is to make sure you are always in a position to leave at the first signs of being treated as a mommy bangmaid. I had to quit my job when I left, and had been financially abused the whole relationship so I left with nothing b…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/03/21 12:20 PM
15

Getting away from this man will have the biggest positive impact on your mental health and should be your priority. While I agree birth control can have awful effects on mental health removing it now gives him the opportunity to baby trap you. His behaviour is escalating and he is dangerous please get to safety. I had so many mental health issues when I was trapped in an abusive relationship, they almost all melted away a few months after my escape, despite not having a permanent home or a job.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/03/21 09:51 AM
11

Fingers crossed for you here! As someone else waiting on a new place and a fresh start too (but thankfully not having to live with my ex while doing so)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/03/21 08:07 AM
18

This is all such good advice. I think many parents just don’t want the arguments about internet access and turn a blind eye for an easy life but it actively harms children to be exposed to so much of what is online now. Discussions about porn should start pretty early imo, as sad as that seems, I had been exposed to so much deeply disturbing stuff by the age of 10 (due to unsupervised internet access and friends dodgy fathers)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/03/21 10:49 PM
60

At school we were told bystanders were as bad as the bullies, yet when it’s femicide the male bystanders are victims.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/03/21 10:19 PM
37

Wow, this is a wonderful explanation of some of my experience with abuse. When I met my abuser I had the world at my feet, coming from a privileged background and attending a top college with a fantastic group of friends, he reduced me to a suicidal agoraphobic shockingly quickly. When I started to read radical feminist texts and engage with other women on a forum he started to infiltrate and soon was supposedly more well read on the subject and more up to date with feminist discourse than I was…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/03/21 07:27 PM
10

I used to suffer from major cognitive dissonance over the single/coupled scenario. I put so much value on having been ‘picked’ to be in a relationship, and let everything else in my life slide because having a man was the most important thing to me. I’d be deeply envious of single women who invested in themselves and were thriving, yet not understand how they could be happy without being in a relationship. Yet I spent most of my time miserable and hating myself because I’d squandered my opportun…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/03/21 12:56 PM
477

My ex straight up told me that he resented my close relationship with our child as I had less time for him. Also berated me for being boring ignoring the fact I had zero time to myself once I’d given birth as suddenly everything house or childcare related was down to me, despite me also working outside of the home, I couldn’t even wash without him putting the baby in the room with me. I would have been a lot less ‘boring’ had I had the time or energy to read a book or if I’d been allowed to go o…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/03/21 12:42 PM
2

Thank you. FDS and the handbook have been so valuable for me in my healing, the fact I am now free is the most wonderful feeling in the world, and finding this community of women where these things can be discussed has been a blessing. I discovered radical feminism through another female orientated forum after having my daughter but the community was small, and FDS is wonderfully free of lib fem male apologists.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/03/21 09:15 PM
2

Thank you, luckily it is in the past now, I take strength from the fact I will never let myself be in that position again. I wish no woman ever finds herself in a relationship like that, but I fear many are.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/03/21 09:10 PM
1

Sounds like it will work for you then, but may be worth exploring some less powerful toys, enjoy either way!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/03/21 09:06 PM
5

Men think getting some of their peepee is the solution to all women’s problems.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/03/21 03:10 PM
2

Exactly. After my ex and I had the bi-monthly row about him not ever doing the washing up, he would leave stuff festering in the sink for days then wash up maybe a quarter of it and be sooo proud of himself and expect me to be gagging to have sex with him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/03/21 02:32 PM
1

Does this man child really think the footnote makes him look like less of an incapable, lazy scrote? He is blatantly resentful about his wife returning to work, I reckon this is all strategic incompetence until she gives up and goes back to being his pa/housekeeper/nanny/bangmaid
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/03/21 02:27 PM
2

Thank you for bringing this wonderful woman into my life!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/03/21 10:57 AM
5

I personally stay away from the super high powered toys, while the orgasms can be achieved quickly and are intense I think they desensitise you. It took me a long time to be able to just use my hands again after a few years where I only used high power vibrators, and also contributed to me struggling to orgasm during sex when previously it was very easy for me. I still have a variety of vibration toys but stick to ones that have multiple speeds/intensities. Cannot recommend Lelo enough, their to…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/03/21 10:35 AM
5

I wish that this information was given in schools. It is so so much more important to know what abuse looks like than the economic policies of post revolutionary Russia, and while yes of course you need to study to pass exams the knowledge of what constitutes the more subtle forms of abuse will serve you throughout your lifetime and allow you to live a far happier and more productive life. I thought abuse was only physical for my entire life up until a few years ago and not being able to context…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/03/21 10:23 AM
2

I just wanted to say thank you for all that you do to support those who need it most, I cannot imagine how hard your job is even without having to deal with the broken systems in the uk. Only once have I seen the benefit/housing system deal well with someone who desperately needed the help and she is still not really getting the support she needs. Without people like you who knows what would happen to the vulnerable.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/03/21 09:59 AM
540

I had this with an ex, booked and paid for a holiday for us, he had months to save for it and had a much larger income than I did. When we arrived and he didn’t have any money to spend I was (stupidly) happy to pay for us both, then he started bitching at me that he felt emasculated by me paying for everything so insisted I gave him cash to pay with so he didn’t look bad. Spent the whole trip with him sulking and bitching at me the whole time 🤡
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/03/21 09:16 AM
46

I used to ‘consent’ mostly because of the sulking that would happen if I dared to say no, or if I didn’t act into it enough for his liking, but he would absent himself from our house and go binge drinking if he went more than a few days without sex then smash up the house in a violent rage so the worry of being physically attacked was also there. He would also be awful to our child when he was angry with me for not putting out enough so I really felt I had no choice. I have a high sex drive but …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/03/21 07:10 PM
23

I think it’s also simply a way to make women feel awful about themselves and keep them trapped with the idea they are now used goods and won’t be able to get anyone else to love them once they’ve given birth. My body recovered incredibly quickly, even my midwives commented on it, I was back in my old non stretchy jeans within a few weeks and my ex still hounded me about me not exercising after I’d had my daughter. He barely gave me time to wash because he wouldn’t watch our child let alone time …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/03/21 10:19 AM
11

Oh yes. I spent my teens and early twenties between two abusive relationships, both of which escalated from controlling behaviour, emotional abuse and men successfully crushing my self esteem to rape. Over ten years of my life pandering to men who couldn’t give a shit about me as a person, only as a sex doll and a brood mare. I gave up everything for ‘love’ and lost myself in the process. But now I try to reframe it in order to not sink into depression, I have learnt early in life what men are l…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/03/21 09:36 AM
48

This. If I challenged my ex on his behaviour my stuff would get smashed and I’d have holes in the walls. I have no doubt it would have escalated to me being the punchbag. However, once you realise you are actually scared of your partner it is time to start planning your escape. But women are often in financially vulnerable positions once they have children and it can be hard to see a way out, especially if you’ve been isolated from family and friends who actually care about you
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/03/21 05:54 PM
52

She definitely needs to leave him so her daughter doesn’t grow up with such low expectations of how she should be treated by someone who ‘loves’ her.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/03/21 05:51 PM
3

So pleased you escaped ❤️Scary how similar our stories are, I got out for the final time after 6 years. I have tried to reframe the time as a lesson rather than a total waste as I’m trying now to think more positively as negative mindset was also a factor in me feeling trapped, at least I know now I will never NEVER put myself in that situation again. I’m almost glad I have learnt this early on in my life, it’s onwards and upwards from here on out.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/03/21 05:47 PM
9

My ex would berate me for spending money I had earned on stuff for our child or our home which benefitted all of us. God forbid I bought anything at all for myself, then he would really lay into me. All this despite the fact he earned 4 times what I did, yet I was covering all our living expenses after he spent his money on weed/video games/pay per view boxing/speeding and parking fines, and I’d have to sell the nice bags and clothes I’d bought before I met him to stop us going into debt each mo…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/03/21 11:28 AM
12

And this is why I am so happy to have found FDS, I’m almost a year out of an abusive relationship and FDS has cemented the feeling that I need to stay single and work on myself. I spent the vast majority of the last decade, since my mid teens, in two abusive relationships - I jumped straight from the first into the second pretty much (briefly dated an actual decent man and dumped him for giving me space when I asked for it 🤦‍♀️)and it has stalled my life progress massively. I feel the best I hav…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/03/21 09:56 AM
2

I’m so sorry you are in this situation. You deserve so much more, we all do. Read about the cycle of abuse, and think about what percentage of the time he actually makes you happy and what percentage he makes you feel you have to serve him to be worthy of his attention. Would you treat him like that? I doubt it. Abusers are not awful 100% of the time, they throw in occasional niceness to keep you trapped. As someone who has been there, I hope you can find a way out
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/03/21 03:48 PM
1

I got pregnant in similar circumstances, it’s now a very long road for me to being financially stable, when I had the world at my feet back then. I now see that he wanted to keep the baby as a means to continue to control me, even though I left him he still continues to abuse me through our child. There needs to be more protection for women leaving the abusive fathers of their children, despite men complaining they are discriminated against in terms of child custody it is actually very difficult…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/03/21 10:52 AM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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