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RedBackedBadger Archive

View 1 post and 508 comments by RedBackedBadger on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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Upvotes Title Category Author Subreddit Date (UTC)
3

RedBackedBadger/r/askTRP19/06/20 11:54 PM
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
1

Delegation has never been my strong suit, but now I am forced to get very good at it. I don’t have time to mentor my team to uplevel their skills, so it’s going to be up to them to get better. That’s kinda shitty, but I need self-starters. I can’t hold everyone’s hand. This is the same thing that drove me to get better at delegation... just too much to handle and I had to let go. Some notes that might be useful: Invest time early so they understand the outcome you want and major risks you want t…
/r/MarriedRedPill08/06/21 10:10 PM
1

All good ideas which I will implement. Re others, I'm not a fan of cheating due to more drama and it's an out for me being a faggot and not working on things. She has said she doesn't want threesomes, I'm not sure if I could lead her past that and seeing as I'm not sure if its a requirement for me I'm just leaving it at this point. Not 100% sure how to progress so I have more figuring out to do.
/r/MarriedRedPill04/06/21 07:28 AM
1

I have read your post on this and I am trying to understand. When I read it, I don't feel like I'm seeking validation. I read the 'Diagnostic Scenario' and just think - great, I would have sex with her how I wanted. BUT I am aware how easy it is to miss validation seeking behavior. Say someone gave you some signals that validated your attractiveness or whatever, would it literally have 0 effect on you? For me, I would feel good about it but I wouldn't think 'I feel valid as a person now'. I feel…
/r/MarriedRedPill04/06/21 07:21 AM
1

Good! Easier to work with. So why are you not practicing these things? Let's say you are an anal-freak like Redspfswhatever and you want your wife to peg you. Why isn't she? I hadn't realized what was going on until today so that's one reason. Some others are: Sometimes I get lazy and can't be fucked pushing past boundaries. Sometimes I get stuck in her frame and think about what she will like. Sometimes I start thinking about rejection. Dropping the ball on leadership and not having a clear vis…
/r/MarriedRedPill02/06/21 10:19 AM
1

Yeah I don't really think it's for me, sounds like too much drama but I'm always interested to hear how guys are making it work.
/r/MarriedRedPill02/06/21 10:10 AM
1

let yourself be free I think this is also part of it for me. I have a lot of desires and to her credit she does most of them but I still hold myself back and I don't want to.
/r/MarriedRedPill02/06/21 07:32 AM
1

I have thought a lot about this in the past, I was not a 'cool' kid and had hangups I had to work through at the start of this process. As in my post above, I don't think that is the issue although I am aware I do still enjoy validation and have to be careful that doesn't' turn to more than that.
/r/MarriedRedPill02/06/21 07:31 AM
1

Nah I slept around a bit after divorce. I think part of my problem which probably comes out in my post below is that sometimes I get caught up on something and make it bigger than it is. I think this is actually about specific things rather than the nebulous concept of 'genuine desire'. RE monogamy, I have 0 sources. It's about what I want, for e.g. I don't actually enjoy 'dating' that much and I would rather limit it in my life, I don't want much drama in my life and more people = more opportun…
/r/MarriedRedPill02/06/21 07:30 AM
1

I think we limit this to sex but it's basically all human interaction. You can't ever know what's in someone else's head. And as you point out, you are only ever interacting with a model of them anyway... Also, what the fuck are 'you', meditate long enough and the 'you' disappears. It was just a model too. I think this is part of it, thought all of this we want to connect with other people, to both be responding to each others conscious and sub-conscious signals saying 'yes, I see you'. Even if …
/r/MarriedRedPill02/06/21 07:25 AM
1

A lot of guys do bullshit themselves here so it is worth poking. Like I said, I'm using cheap calipers so I don't really know but I know I have abs and can see my intercostal muscles so I'm 'lean' whatever that means. Working on catching the lifts up!
/r/MarriedRedPill02/06/21 06:51 AM
3

I honestly thought I wasn’t getting butthut about rejection but she’s told me that I am, so the conclusion i’m drawing here is that I’m in self-denial about how I really feel about getting rejected. Part of me wants to blow it up or find another chick to fuck while making no effort to hide it. I’m scared about taking that kind of action because I’m scared of doing damage that can’t be undone. Keep the family unit together will always be plan A. In what context did she tell you? Sounds like you h…
/r/MarriedRedPill01/06/21 11:28 AM
3

Relationship / marriage / sex You are thinking too much about her here - what do you want your life to look like? Now how would you make that happen interdependent of her? After you have your shit sorted you might decide you can get someone else to come along and add more value or she might up her game, or whatever. See how that only depends on you? Wife corners you? How does that happen? Re STFU, in my opinion, the reason this is so important is that it gives you space to actually choose how to…
/r/MarriedRedPill01/06/21 10:10 AM
2

Either I am an unlucky fuck, or something is off here. I am exactly your height and weight, My bench is 110% yours and my deads at least 125%. Plus you don't squat(?). Yet my BF is more like 14. Not a huge deal, just don't bullshit yourself. Two things, I have always had to work at strength and have a knee issue. I don't squat anymore and I value pain free over squats but was squatting 300, working deads back up to 350. Not sure what is going on with my reddit but I can't copy and past into the …
/r/MarriedRedPill01/06/21 10:02 AM
7

Likewise, gratitude is hard to remember for some reason. Even so I still do both, just less structured. Like a lot of the concepts here there is an initial period of practice as you cement a new mental model into you operating system. Personally I like phasing gratitude, I focus on it for a bit then let it naturally run, when I notice I'm letting it slip, refocus on it for a few weeks.
/r/MarriedRedPill01/06/21 08:55 AM
3

OYS 57: Mid 30’s, 6’ 190lb, BF 11%, Separated, one kid under 5yrs. OHP 155*5, Bench 210*5, DL 310*6. Mindset I’m accepting that I will have to live with the long-term stress of family court rather than just waiting until it is over. That is okay. I still struggle with days where I just don’t give a fuck. When I take an ‘inner coach’ approach rather than beating myself up, two things come up (1) no shit I have days like that considering what did and is happening and (2) I am doing shit I don’t li…
/r/MarriedRedPill01/06/21 08:31 AM
1

You wrote an OYS about how you don’t like your wife then finish up by saying you want to make it work because you love her.... Why do you think you are different to anybody else here? Special snowflake. Do the program.
/r/MarriedRedPill31/05/21 10:02 PM
1

I’m curious about the dynamic of two live in girls? I’m in a monogamous relationship but not sure if it’s for me long term. I like variety too much. Re BPD - if she does actually have this she will be pretty mental... HIGH risk having that in your life. Personally I have found they have a way to tap your validation seeking behavior better than other women. Something to consider.
/r/MarriedRedPill31/05/21 09:56 PM
3

the only question is could I have gotten that in an easier, more direct, quicker way. Does it matter? You walked the journey that you could at the time. If you knew the way, you wouldn't have had to walk it. I'm not seeing what you would get out of going back and figuring out if there was an easier way.
/r/MarriedRedPill20/05/21 11:13 PM
4

I think a lot of guys get derailed after the easy gains wear off. Then the real work begins and it’s much harder. Partly because it’s just harder and partly because the roadmap is less clear. I keep looking back and realizing the new realization I had was something MRP has been telling me all along but the roadmap is less clear after the first 6ish months and I was too stupid to see it. One thing that I really got from you a while back was the importance of building self respect. I have focused …
/r/MarriedRedPill20/05/21 05:36 AM
1

Absolutely need to work on the attractive bit. Re it being her idea, she is quite passive in general. She wants me to lead her in sex which is fine most of the time but I’m not sure how to navigate this bit of it. Still, she does most things I want and if I work on being more attractive and leading better (I haven’t led her up coming up with her own vision for sex, that fulfills mine) then it will likely come in time. Part of it is also that she had a lot of I security’s about being ‘special’ to…
/r/MarriedRedPill19/05/21 10:32 PM
2

Parenting Haven’t been able to keep calm with the kids. This is my goal, but I get angry when they don’t listen after repeating something 3 times. I know, they’re just kids, and I don’t really know where this anger comes from. This needs more introspection because it’s a behaviour I don’t like about myself.It’s not always too, luckily some days I am relaxed and can see it like from a distance, instead of getting worked up over nothing. The problem is that so far, I haven’t been in control, as so…
/r/MarriedRedPill18/05/21 11:14 AM
7

I succesfuly STFU'ed when necessary. No butthurt reactions or other shitty behaviour. No judging. It's very easy to trick yourself here and this early in the journey I doubt you have worked through the resentment. Keep an eye on this and see if this really is coming form a place of happiness or if you are forcing it. Nothing wrong with forcing it at the start but just something to keep an eye on. Luckily, stayed away from it completely. Nothing to do with luck. It was discipline and it's a great…
/r/MarriedRedPill18/05/21 11:06 AM
1

OYS 56: Mid 30’s, 6’ 190lb, BF 11%, Separated, one kid under 5yrs. OHP 155*4, Bench 210*5, DL 310*5. Mindset: A few weeks back u/threekindsoflucky pointed out that I am relying on motivation rather than discipline. I have been working on this with good results. The motivation still comes and goes but that is on top of a bedrock of discipline. Increased self-respect was an unexpected(although very obvious) side effect. Struggling with some anxiety over the family court, things are going my way bu…
/r/MarriedRedPill18/05/21 10:57 AM
1

Sure focus on that for now. You need to get into a place where you are doing it for you and it comes freely and you are very far from that but it will come. Down the track think about this: do you set a goal when you engage in other forms of play? Sex, music etc - for me, it's about just being myself. I don't start to have sex and have a goal of 'having fun' (although in the past I did set myself goals as I was so far away from my own desire). I have sex because that's just what I want to do. I …
/r/MarriedRedPill14/05/21 10:09 PM
2

I've got to find a way to enjoy a game I lose 99% of the time. You are still focused on HER. Do what YOU find fun then you are not losing you are just playing.
/r/MarriedRedPill14/05/21 07:54 AM
1

I still have a hard time believing things will change Maybe not with your wife. You say you are 6'1, if you get in good shape, work on style, have interesting hobbies and a rewarding career do you believe you could have a woman who is what you want?
/r/MarriedRedPill12/05/21 10:06 PM
3

NUTRITION / LIFTING Whats your goal here? Re your game section, why are you doing this if validation is your problem? She said: I'm the leader, I'm in charge of this relationship That's funny as fuck, sounds like you handled it okay. Also sounds like you are going a bit rambo but you are young so who cares if you blow this relationship up. Re orbiter, yeah STFU until you are in control of yourself but personally I would call that shit or not worry about it, at some point you will need to make a …
/r/MarriedRedPill12/05/21 09:56 PM
2

I have been using motivation rather than discipline and had that pointed out to me here. I don't have an overarching mission either but that doesn't stop you from setting goals that are meaningful and using discipline to accomplish them. Each time you do what you say you will do you will gain self respect and need less validation. I look at your 60DOD actions and you are setting goals and doing them, lifting, eating better (even if you don't lose weight, you did what you said you would do). Keep…
/r/MarriedRedPill12/05/21 09:46 PM
3

Why do you need a defined mission to be happy with yourself? Keep watching the validation, eventually you won’t even need it. Why are you so focused on what your wife tells you?
/r/MarriedRedPill12/05/21 12:00 PM
1

see, up until recently, I've been a part-time leader. That's a solid realization. One I need to consider. Re meal prep: Look up stews/ragu easy way of getting lots of protein and add to your carb (or not) of choice. Cook a lots of mince and rice. Layer in your lunch containers, top up with frozen veg. Add flavors of choice. Slow cook meat, honey, cinnamon lamb leg is great. Add to whatever as its fucking delicious. baking tray, chicken thighs, olives, tomatoes, onions + whatever you want. Cover …
/r/MarriedRedPill12/05/21 10:10 AM
2

STFU is probably one of the single most important things anyone can learn. I make STFU the default and it makes a world of difference. For autists, STFU doesn’t mean she asks me a question and I stonewall, it means I don’t drop in more information than I need to. I don’t say stupid shit, compliment her, or ask/speak about things that can be interpreted as needy. I sit back and let shit happen. I keep learning I need to STFU. Currently I'm going through a nice and nasty court battle and the urge …
/r/MarriedRedPill12/05/21 10:04 AM
1

I thought a lot about hiding that Good that you didn't. That is a win.
/r/MarriedRedPill12/05/21 10:00 AM
2

Any attempt at gaming/kino-ing my SO just comes off as desperate. Are you having fun? Remember it's called gaming because it is a fun game. Find what works for you and remember it should be about YOU having fun.
/r/MarriedRedPill12/05/21 09:56 AM
8

You know when I read about you fat fucks or weak ass skinny dudes, I get jealous. You have so much room for improvement. I used to think that, then I realized people thought the exact same thing about my mental weakness, inability to deal with shit tests, moodiness, insert whatever you are working on. When you know the way, it's easy to look back and wonder why it's not obvious to everybody else.
/r/MarriedRedPill12/05/21 09:48 AM
1

What shit do you need to own?
/r/MarriedRedPill12/05/21 09:46 AM
3

, but I want to be a man that is desired by women Why? Why not be a sexual man who behaves as he wants around women? Re boring husband - I also have to be careful of falling into this trap. I have been looking into why I'm being boring. I find that when I'm stressed, getting caught up in mental shit etc I am boring. So I look at what mindset/life circumstance I need to change so that I am fully enjoying life.
/r/MarriedRedPill12/05/21 09:45 AM
2

But I get little feedback. For some reason I couldn't put two quotes in a reply... Sure, posting early, commenting etc will help. There are two broad kinds of advice; tactical and mindset. With feedback on your mindset, one post can be multiple weeks of work at your end. Look at what u/threekindsoflucky wrote. Dig into that, I don't want to undo his good work of not doing the fucking work for you but he was spot on, you clearly are concerned about cheating, hence all your language. Look into why…
/r/MarriedRedPill12/05/21 09:41 AM
1

Was my WTF a covert contract? I've told her numerous times to respect my time, and she just doesn't. But I didn't make it explicit that night. She doesn't respect your time because she doesn't respect you. Do you like yourself? Do you respect yourself?
/r/MarriedRedPill12/05/21 09:34 AM
3

Mine are validation seeking and owning my shit. Is there something deeper driving these? You don't seek validation if you are happy with yourself.
/r/MarriedRedPill12/05/21 09:20 AM
2

Plenty of people said that during the COVID “crash” I invested and can now afford more ‘metals’. Don’t miss out on investment returns because you are stockpiling for a world that doesn’t exist. Plan accordingly for both.
/r/MarriedRedPill11/05/21 10:02 PM
1

Completely agree with your main point. People should figure out a plan and execute not fumble through life without owning their financial shit. P.S. I’m not downvoting you here.
/r/MarriedRedPill11/05/21 09:59 PM
3

There have been many crashes and there will be many more. I assume I will lose 60% at some point but I’m in for the long term and long term it will recover. The risk of trying to time the market is that you miss all the gains before it crashes. For most people I still believe an index fund is the way to go... Assuming they can hold when a crash does come and they don’t need to money in the short term.
/r/MarriedRedPill11/05/21 05:48 AM
5

90% of people should focus on (1) spending less than they earn (2) increasing what they earn and (3) investing in low cost index funds. Sure you can make a lot of money on crypto and speculative stocks (I have) but pretending it’s anything other than luck is just arrogance. Very rare is the person who can beat the market with active trading.
/r/MarriedRedPill11/05/21 04:29 AM
2

To build on u/ancient_resistance - as he says, truth is not binary. Right now you are trying to pick between two extremes, both given to you by somebody else. That's why neither of them seem congruent with who you are. But also, there often is no objective truth. Sure there are things we know to be true based on the available evidence but that is actually a very small proportion of your life. What is true depends on who it doing the judging, the time period over which you are looking, your value…
/r/MarriedRedPill06/05/21 10:45 PM
1

Is my rotation too dense or was this just a random pushing through a plateau? Who knows, experiment by cutting a day and see what happens. In the early stages it's best just to generally work hard as most people don't even know what that means. Sounds like you might be on a bro split rather than a proper plan, personally I like GZCL. You are limiting your calories which will impact strength gains but obviously good for your primary goal of cutting weight. I am annoyed by her and don’t even try t…
/r/MarriedRedPill05/05/21 10:19 PM
2

Weight 160 Height 6’3’’ What are you doing about this? Just reducing your lifting? What program are you on? Are you tracking your calories? ​ Plate spinning has been good lately except for one thing. I don’t see any of these women like I saw my ex, (marriage material) I feel like I am doing something wrong. But isn’t that what messed me up in the first place? I dedicated myself to one woman who I thought was the one? I wish spinning plates equaled spinning multiple women who shared my ideals and…
/r/MarriedRedPill05/05/21 10:12 PM
3

how you have plates going with all that shit going on I don't know... You have a lot going on, but you do seem to be taking action which is great. With so much unfucking to do, you need to focus. (1) Get your diet sorted (2) start lifting heavy weights and (3) STFU in your marriage and life. Once you get those three nailed you will be surprised at how much easier the rest becomes.
/r/MarriedRedPill05/05/21 09:55 PM
2

It's more that words have associated meaning with them and if you are not careful they can color how you interpret things. I find myself forgetting to appreciate that gift as in my head when I frame it as 'a test' but perhaps as I more fully internalize this concept that will stop being a problem.
/r/MarriedRedPill30/04/21 08:04 AM
2

as I do want my wife to stick around, but I’ve accepted that I need to focus on myself and my life, and then it’s up to her if she wants to stay and add value. Everybody wants their wife to stick around, that's part of why they are here not just on tinder. It's about the rest of your sentence. I doubt you really are there yet but it's the right concept. You might want her in your life but you know you will be okay, happy etc without her and you are focused on making your life great hopefully wit…
/r/MarriedRedPill29/04/21 12:05 AM
2

And what did you do that wasn't in relation to your wife? Not picked up a few books, that's just life. What did you do that progressed the things you care about?
/r/MarriedRedPill29/04/21 12:03 AM
4

6’0”, 285 lbs. BF? Afterwards, I think about what my response would have been just 3 weeks ago and laugh at my sheer retardation. That's exactly why it's important to start with STFU, it gives you the space to see and from there you can start being who you are. Keep the focus on it for a few weeks until you have the space for your own responses. my temper the last few days has been extremely short, especially with female co-workers. What the fuck are you doing... taking your resentment out on wo…
/r/MarriedRedPill29/04/21 12:01 AM
2

With the loss of work I stopped doing my t-treatments. If your finances are okay then why did you stop?
/r/MarriedRedPill28/04/21 11:53 PM
3

regarding being constantly tested. I'm mostly here too, I'm playing with re-framing the concept of a 'test' with something I can't clearly name yet. It's not her testing you so much as it is life giving you a gift of information. How else could I get the information I needed to grow? I guess that's what a test is in a way, did I fail? Then we found weakness... it keeps you vigilant and sharp etc but for some reason the term 'test' doesn't capture the gratitude I can feel for this information tha…
/r/MarriedRedPill28/04/21 11:51 PM
4

Something feels off with your OYS, I'm not 100% sure what it is. You seems to be 'doing everything' yet what is really changing? (I'm actually asking - what's one thing that's really important in your life that has changed?) Are you just ticking the box, not just on workouts but in all of it? Where is your overarching plan? You are taking all these actions but they seem to be in 300 different directions. Here are some random thought that may or may not be helpful. Decide for yourself what is use…
/r/MarriedRedPill28/04/21 11:41 PM
2

I think it's important to challenge guys when they say that as most go through a stage of thinking they will go and become some playa... often after reading the unchained male or having a woman do anything other than be disgusted by them in 10 years. But really it's like you said, validation or anger or avoiding responsibility for their current relationship etc. The other side I think most guys (probably women too) are wired to want variety, from an evolutionary perspective it makes sense. Then …
/r/MarriedRedPill28/04/21 11:22 PM
2

I definitely have a desire for variety and maybe more so, to not have limitations on what I do. However, I also use that thought pattern to avoid taking responsibility for getting what I want in my current situation. I watched myself this week and I do use that as an 'out'. Until I address that I wont know where the balance lies for me.
/r/MarriedRedPill28/04/21 11:13 PM
2

You're relying on motivation rather than discipline. You are exactly right. Just booked into tomorrows class.
/r/MarriedRedPill27/04/21 10:05 AM
3

I can't remember the phases etc but really I doubt it matters. It's the same with 'dread game' - sure it gives you a start and a plan forwards but at some point you have to let go of that and decide what you want and then make a plan to get that. Check out The dread Contract and Scoreboard.
/r/MarriedRedPill27/04/21 10:01 AM
4

I had a reply typed out to you but then I read your last OYS and ImpatientZen asked you if you had a MAP. That is what you need. Do you have one? I’m mentally checked out from my relationship and plan to end the relationship in September Everybody goes through this early on, making some progress then deciding they are going to end their relationship... You are still 18% bf, you still immediately start looking to women as other prospects once you decide to end it, you still have to try to not yel…
/r/MarriedRedPill27/04/21 08:52 AM
2

OYS 55: Mid 30’s, 6’ 190lb, BF 11%, Separated, one kid under 5 yrs. OHP 145*5, Bench 210*5, DL 310*3. Relationship: The feminine grows through praise. Every time I forget this and then reapply it, I am amazed at the results. I will continue to focus on this. Sex is basically anything I want whenever I want (despite the faggotry in the next paragraph) but I am struggling to accept the idea of being monogamous. I don’t want to cheat for a bunch of reasons and so if I want other women I want it to …
/r/MarriedRedPill27/04/21 08:44 AM
3

It's been interesting to watch my own reactions to this situation. When I have an actual problem my tendency is to talk about it but then outline what I am going to do about it. But when I'm just vomiting about shit that doesn't matter then I just vomit and don't lay out a course of action because it doesn't matter...so why am I even talking about it.
/r/MarriedRedPill21/04/21 11:27 PM
3

Thanks, this is very true for me. I try and find an 'answer' that will just solve an issue but sometimes the issue is constant focus. Like you said, play, curiosity and flow happen in the moment. Thanks.
/r/MarriedRedPill21/04/21 10:17 PM
5

I would get a sharp pain in my back checked out, doesn't sound like general lifting pains. Pathetic, for sure, but I managed my own emotions without dumping them on my family. So you weren't karate chopping lions but you recognized your needs and addressed it with your current skill set. Sounds like a win to me. Careful of thinking 'I should not feel needy/pathetic insert whatever'. I get it, I think I should feel things all the time but the reality is we feel what we feel and the actions we tak…
/r/MarriedRedPill21/04/21 11:01 AM
2

You don't need to keep a fire lit under your ass, you need to commit to consistent action. Often that will be over a soggy mess of ash but you'll get your ass there and do what needs to be done anyway. I found picking three to five weekly/daily actions and reporting my progress in weekly OYS helped. So far you have lifting, going to bed at 11pm and shutting the fuck up. Start with them and track every day then add more IF NEEDED. If you actually did those things for three months you would make m…
/r/MarriedRedPill21/04/21 10:51 AM
3

Wins matter too. Be careful of falling into the trap of spending 10 weeks improving yourself then getting entitled. I did that. At one point I took a progress pic and I looked fucking shredded (okay so the light was helping but still...) without even realizing what a validation whore I was, I showed it to a woman I know would give me what I craved then got all angry my ex couldn't' see what a great catch I was. I tell you that cautionary tale of being a validation whore to just say - be careful …
/r/MarriedRedPill21/04/21 10:44 AM
2

I keep going back to that mindset, it's one of the things that have really helped me. To be honest, right now with custody and the false allegations from ex I don't see myself being as playful and curious as I want. I am in threat management mode. However it is something I can and have been looking to implement more often. Having said that... why can't I be playful? Like you said it is a choice and I can see that but I'm still not 100% sure how to make that choice. I think it will come in time a…
/r/MarriedRedPill21/04/21 10:36 AM
2

New woman, same me apparently. I have found myself reverting to old habits with the recent stress for a few reasons: I get entitled 'I am stressed and therefor people should just do what I want'. The solution has just been to recognize this thought pattern as it is obviously wrong. I fall back into the option I am used to as it takes the least energy. Solution is to maintain focus on this like I do other practices. Although I suspect just realizing I had slipped will be enough. I genuinely want …
/r/MarriedRedPill21/04/21 10:29 AM
3

Mental: Considering the realization you had here, what do you think about your Sex and STFU section when you reread them?
/r/MarriedRedPill20/04/21 12:10 PM
5

I haven't done much since last week but I know and accept that there's a ton I need to get onto, think through and prepare for and my head is clear enough now that I can start. Top of the list is to get some time arranged with a solicitor, face to face and ask a whole different set of questions to those I did the first two times. The research I have done has already shown me that there's lots of wrinkles and things that I thought didn't matter that actually do (like filing first) and I need to d…
/r/MarriedRedPill20/04/21 12:06 PM
6

Women + sex Sounds like she doesn't really believe it's happening. Hopefully nothing comes of it when she does realize it's happening but don't get lax with the DV prep that you are currently doing.
/r/MarriedRedPill20/04/21 12:03 PM
2

OYS 54: Mid 30’s, 6’ 190lb, BF 11%, Separated, one kid under 5 yrs. OHP 145*5, Bench 210*3, DL 300*5. Sleep: I just can’t get this sorted. I go through phases where I sleep 8ish hours and feel great. Then I’ll start waking 5-6am, I feel okay on that sleep but my mood and productivity significantly increase if I can get a full 8hrs. I think it’s stress but other than sleeping tablets (which have their own problems) I have not been able to consistently get 8hrs. I have tried all the usual sleep hy…
/r/MarriedRedPill20/04/21 11:59 AM
3

I have a good friend who is currently dying of cancer. I see him every week, sometimes a couple times during the week. He's got a terrible diagnosis and his life is hell right now. We laugh together that he is happier than I am (he is, guy has an amazing attitude and really wants to live). I try to really look at what he's going through and remind myself how good I have it. Something I have noticed in myself and others is a crisis can sometimes result in more happiness. When things are going oka…
/r/MarriedRedPill07/04/21 01:08 AM
3

In your 'who am I' section - just be aware that a lot of guys read unchained male and decide they dont want a wife etc. I can see you have a lot going on there, give things time to settle.
/r/MarriedRedPill06/04/21 09:57 PM
1

I am going through something similar involving the mother/systems etc. Here are some notes that might help. This is assuming you decide to fight. It sounds like fighting might still produce a positive outcome for you/your son but sometimes it gets past that point. I'm still in the fight and mine is very legal so projecting a bit here and some of these points will be more applicable to my situation. ​ The system does operate from a gynocentric view. Knowing that, it is important to have someone w…
/r/MarriedRedPill22/03/21 07:09 AM
2

Had a long rant about how the hell I ever stopped doing this, that I cut out. You have written this in a few OYS (so have I...), if it's not important why tell us you cut it out?
/r/MarriedRedPill23/12/20 06:29 AM
5

OYS 52: Mid 30’s, 6’ 190lb, BF 12%, Separated, one kid under 5 yrs. OHP 160*3, Bench 200*5, DL 300*3. The false allegations my ex made are still causing problems and likely will for a while. According to my lawyer it should all blow over as there is no supporting evidence and there is evidence she is lying however it may take months. Back onboard 90% of the time physically, weights and wrestling this week. Eating well and I am looking leaner although my $10 calipers are not showing it. What’s Ne…
/r/MarriedRedPill23/12/20 06:24 AM
2

OYS 51: Mid 30’s, 6’ 190lb, BF 12%, Separated, one kid under 5 yrs. OHP 160*3, Bench 200*5, DL 300*3. Ex has made false allegations that are currently being investigated by police and CP. I am not allowed to see daughter. There is 0 evidence to support what she has said. I am concerned ex is coaching my daughter during this time but not much I can do about it. Also, concerned if this blows over she will just make more false allegations which will be extremely disruptive to my life. I have not be…
/r/MarriedRedPill16/12/20 12:14 AM
4

the better I am treated. Something that I think most of us come in here thinking is that how we are treated is the domain of other people. Re boundaries, it will be tested. Generally harder at first then less so.
/r/MarriedRedPill08/12/20 10:50 AM
1

unavoidable eating Are you being bread for foie gras? Maybe you are going to chose to eat more, that's cool. Nobody is forcing you.
/r/MarriedRedPill08/12/20 10:46 AM
4

OYS 50: Mid 30’s, 6’ 193lb, BF 12%, Separated, one kid under 5 yrs. OHP 160*3, Bench 200*5, DL 300*3. Week Goals meditation session 20min – 3/4 10 min meditation – 2/4 mobility – 90% intended sessions pomodoros 16/15 No porn – Fail/4. One day fucked the above, I watched porn, ate shit, didn’t exercise and didn’t work. Then another day the stuff under separation happened and I didn't exercise. Slack, I should have as it would have helped. Reading: MMSLP, MAP, Side Bar, Unchained male, models, The…
/r/MarriedRedPill08/12/20 10:43 AM
1

What value does your wife add to your life?
/r/MarriedRedPill04/12/20 07:33 PM
1

It's really hard to say without knowing her. Here is what runs through my mind from being in similar situations. Remember a boundary is about you not her. At the end of the day, you can't control her actions. If you put that boundary down and she doesn't get on board then you can't force her. For me (remembering she is my ex) I show controlled anger and withdraw attention from her. Then reset, repeat as needed I can't control what she does but I'm not engaging with someone who pulls our kid into…
/r/MarriedRedPill03/12/20 09:22 PM
1

Walked right into it. I guess for a while I borderline was thinking of giving it a go. Now, I realize she is not the person I want to be with. I would need her to change to the point where she is a different person. #Edit: there is something more here too that I can't quite pin down yet. A lot of the reasons I wrote are driven by bad mental models and I want to move beyond that to do things because they bring value to my life not avoid hurt. While some of the things I wrote above are about value…
/r/MarriedRedPill02/12/20 10:05 PM
1

Just the other-day my ex was pulling shit in front of daughter. I ignored her and engaged with daughter, casually turned to ex and said not in front of our daughter, I wasn't angry I was disappointed. Then she kept going. I went around the other-side of the car so daughter couldn't see and quietly said 'cut that shit out in front of our daughter' I let my controlled anger be very clear. Maybe I'm splitting hairs here but I think you are on the wrong track with " My wife doesn't pull this shit" i…
/r/MarriedRedPill02/12/20 09:48 PM
1

I have been thinking about this a lot this week and I don't really know. So far my thinking is that I have thought patterns and emotions associated with these that are not helpful and there are conflicting wants. Below is some of my poorly formed reasoning that I am currently working through. Before starting this process, a family unit was something I wanted above most things and it still is something I really want. It is tantalizingly close with my ex, all I would have to say is 'yes' and I wou…
/r/MarriedRedPill02/12/20 09:35 PM
1

Ahh I see. Yeah I agree. I try to be aware how conditioned emotions are. You can condition people to feel certain things and that's what has happened. I have ALOT of NG programming and I find it very difficult to see when it is programming or something I authentically believe and want. I am still working through all that too.
/r/MarriedRedPill02/12/20 09:05 PM
1

I haven't managed to make this work for me yet. I have heard the idea a few times but it's never been something I can actually put into practice. The closest I can get is accepting all feelings which takes away the layer of 'I should/shouldn't feel XYZ' and 'me feeling/not feeling XYZ means XYZ'. This layer is bigger than most people recognize. Also, realizing that I really don't know how life will work out and thinking back on the hard things that turned out to be net positive I can sometimes s…
/r/MarriedRedPill02/12/20 09:02 PM
1

Meditation, mountain biking, catching myself when I censer myself based on my perception of another persons expectations, being respectful to myself. I think the biggest piece to this is how I treat myself. No surprises there I guess but I am realizing more and more how the way I treat and think of myself is not helping. A solid baseline of self respect is the next step in moving me towards what I want.
/r/MarriedRedPill02/12/20 05:14 AM
1

Emotionally I really do seem to enjoy that. I'm not entertaining the idea of getting back with her just acknowledging the emotions around it.
/r/MarriedRedPill02/12/20 05:10 AM
1

Track it if it's useful to you to track. Most people find it is. If you are on point with your diet and training and getting the results you want then who gives a shit what I or others here think.
/r/MarriedRedPill02/12/20 04:56 AM
1

She is on her way. That's some solid time in the gym, I doubt most people have built up to this yet. OP dont just go and lift 6-7 times a week and run if you never have before!
/r/MarriedRedPill02/12/20 04:55 AM
4

I keep looking for shit to own, but I keep turning up that I'm happy with where I am and where I'm headed. I have been running into this lately. Sometimes there are 'things that happened' but I feel 0 need to post on MRP, I know what I wanted to do and I did it. I personally decided I would post every week for one year and have kept to that. I have actually found some of the weeks where I forced myself to post ended up being quite insightful. Not saying you should do that, just sharing my notes …
/r/MarriedRedPill01/12/20 11:23 PM
2

Last OYS, I got told not to run, just lift. I'm willing to accept that it's not the right thing for the skinny fucks staying out that need to eat a pizza. I don't think my problem is that I can't eat a pizza. My problem is that I can and would regularly. I need some form of cardio. Maybe running is the wrong choice even for me. But right now, I feel like I need something to do between lift days. Here is my take on this. The party line is you must lift SS or you are gay. You are probably gay eith…
/r/MarriedRedPill01/12/20 10:56 PM
7

All three of these paragraphs resonate with me. Just for some clarity, she does this periodically, this time she really went for it hence it coming up in OYS. She talked about specific things she did and how she would change etc. I dont believe her but it was convincing and she knows the things that get to me. Para 1: I think accepting there will always be some pain in losing something I wanted. In my former days it was the thing I wanted above all others. Talking to a buddy is exactly what I di…
/r/MarriedRedPill01/12/20 10:46 PM
3

Way back Blarg told me about fully experiencing even negative and 'sensitive' emotions whatever they are. At the time I was too busy crying about Bambi. His advice was to get my shit sorted before I delved into the other side of things. I feel like I'm starting to get to that point. I was a whiny coward who was scared of life, had no self-respect (and therefor self-esteem) and no confidence in my ability to 'do life'. I thought I would not be okay when bad things happened. In that situation, fee…
/r/MarriedRedPill01/12/20 10:36 PM
3

You could just take it and not tell her, unless she knows exactly where it is. Play it off as lost. Also look into no travel lists sometimes you can get kids put on them without necessarily notifying the parents. Depends what the rules are in your area. It’s a hard one, you don’t want to push her to do anything either.
/r/MarriedRedPill01/12/20 10:45 AM
4

I realize that child-abduction is a thing Take his passport. I did on advice from lawyers.
/r/MarriedRedPill01/12/20 10:18 AM
11

OYS 49: Mid 30’s, 6’ 193lb, BF 12%, Separated, one kid under 5 yrs. OHP 160*3, Bench 190*8, DL 285*3. Week Goals ​ meditation session 20min – 3/4 10 min meditation – 4/4 mobility – 90% intended sessions pomodoros 17/15 No porn – 1/4. Reading: MMSLP, MAP, Side Bar, Unchained male, models, The Eagle and the Dragon, WOTSM, WISNIFG, The dating playbook for men, The subtle art of not giving a fuck, The Rational Male, Awareness, Pook, NMMNG(x2), sex god method, no more bad kids, Practical female psych…
/r/MarriedRedPill01/12/20 10:10 AM
1

Thanks, this is relevant for my OYS this week. Many things are just about accepting them, not fighting and making them bigger than they are. Let them happen and move on.
/r/MarriedRedPill01/12/20 03:00 AM
1

There are things I want but I don't 'really' want them. It's all just nice to have stuff and while I am making effort towards these things I guess I'm looking for something that has a deeper meaning to me. Also, as you flagged there is some fear. I have noticed the fear tends to be along two lines (1) going against social conditioning and (2) fear of being outcast/rejected. I think (1) is just a version of (2). And no I haven't dealt with all the old stories I tell myself. I am aware of a lot of…
/r/MarriedRedPill29/11/20 08:43 PM
1

I think meditation has a range of benefits but what you are talking about here is identifying and replacing faulty mental models. You have identified you have the mental model of 'when the day is bad then its shot and just wait until tomorrow' is not helping you. The next step is the be curious about how you could improve. If your outcome is increased productivity and feeling better then try things and just notice what effect they have. For e.g. try the minimum daily actions and just notice if i…
/r/MarriedRedPill28/11/20 07:59 PM
2

Thanks, need to check it out
/r/MarriedRedPill26/11/20 11:33 PM
3

Get a text from her while I’m out and about, immediate anxiety response. I’m recognising this more and there are two paths I am taking. Not sure where you are at with this but one thing I found helped was de-conditioning my anxiety response. You can have all these realizations etc but at some point you may (I did) have just set up a classic conditioning anxiety response to wife texts. I would see a text and let the anxiety happen. Often just watching it to the point where I forgot about the text…
/r/MarriedRedPill26/11/20 10:08 PM
1

I think I put way to much value on the achievement of fucking to girls on the same 24 hours, and when it was done, it was meh. That's because it was a goal driven by a need for validation. Look at you, you stud, fucking two girls in 24 hrs. Are you worthy now? I think most of us go through it, I did. Think of getting to a point where you fuck two girls in 24 hrs just because you wanted to do that. The realization you had below needs to be applied here. After not getting feedback in my last OYS (…
/r/MarriedRedPill26/11/20 10:02 PM
2

Re the monk and daughter paragraphs. I think there is two levels to look at this. On one, I want to rationalize the meaning, oh I am doing XYZ and that is providing XYZ benefit on the other if I just let go of rationalizing then each moment feels inherently meaningful. My daughter is a good example of this, I can see rationally how my actions provide benefit to her and that gives me meaning and also we can just go for a walk and that feels inherently meaningful. I'll think more on this. In essen…
/r/MarriedRedPill26/11/20 09:57 PM
1

I have actually, counterintuitively, found that the better I've been at letting go of guilt (thanks WISNIFG!) about being lazy, the more I've allowed myself to be "lazy", the more I ultimately get done. #Me too. Often I look at this and realize I have separate standards for myself and the world but they are not different. Lots to think on here thanks.
/r/MarriedRedPill26/11/20 09:38 PM
1

Thanks I am checking them out - interesting.
/r/MarriedRedPill26/11/20 09:34 PM
1

This reminds me of the different mindsets available to look at other people from. You can judge them, assume they are out to hurt you or you can remember they are just trying to get through life. Sometimes they will get in your way for their own reasons but almost always these reasons aren't evil. By understanding that I let go of my negative feelings and can mostly get a better outcome. Makes sense to apply that to myself too.
/r/MarriedRedPill26/11/20 09:32 PM
2

I have to have some sort of carrot I am chasing. And when I get to that one, I barely enjoy it before finding a new one to run after. I enjoy this too, I think most men do. Above where I wrote about accepting the moment it's kind of about accepting and being content in this process without feeling any level of dissatisfaction that I don't yet have the carrot. As you said: The running is the fun part for me - the process, the present. Re mission, no I don't. I have been trying to let this come bu…
/r/MarriedRedPill26/11/20 09:24 PM
2

Yeah I see what you are saying, if it was the first time she had experienced that level of wind you might let her sleep there but then would need to phase her out of it. Another way of looking at it, is I should be rewarding the behavior I want.
/r/MarriedRedPill26/11/20 05:37 AM
2

There are a few things I have noticed that might be relevant: Like you, if I have had a stressful day the likelihood of the next day being a write off is higher. I need to work on some mental models/patterns that I know enable this to continue, e.g. if I start my day off procrastinating then again the likelihood increases, thinking about how I don't enjoy my job etc. Self belief, when I have one of those days I'm often also feeling like nothing is going to work out anyway. Mental toughness or wh…
/r/MarriedRedPill26/11/20 05:34 AM
2

That said, those two statements pretty much describe my end goal - which I probably will never reach. There is one more I want to add but I dont know how to word it properly at this point something about accepting things just as they are. I find myself going about life always thinking about how I am going to make something different. It means I rarely live my actual life because I'm living some fantasy about what it will be like and thinking and THEN I will feel okay. Hence the meditation etc.
/r/MarriedRedPill26/11/20 05:23 AM
2

OYS 48: Mid 30’s, 6’ 193lb, BF 12%, Separated, one kid under 5 yrs. OHP 160*3, Bench 190*8, DL 275*3. Week Goals I am restarting these this week. Reading: non readpill. Physical: Be strong, fit, powerful and injury free into old age. weights – three cardio – four (getting back into mountain biking) Seem to be stalling at around 160 on the OHP. Tweaked wrist on bench, I think adding multiple mountain biking sessions in one week overworked my wrist. I often feel the bench in my wrist so will have …
/r/MarriedRedPill25/11/20 10:21 AM
5

There was once a princess who lived in a far away land. She lived with prince charming in a beautiful castle. Her life was perfect. She knew exactly who she was and how she should behave because many a book and movie and social interaction had given her a picture of what a perfect good girl did. She was not supposed to be interested in sex, the prince was interested in sex and after enough charming, persistence and seduction she would eventually relent and let him have sex with her. It would onl…
/r/MarriedRedPill17/11/20 10:04 PM
3

OYS 46: Mid 30’s, 6’ 192lb, BF 12%, Separated, one kid under 5 yrs (f). OHP 160*3, Bench 190*8, DL 265*3. Week Goals Decided to see how I went not recording daily actions. Might give it one more week but I think I’ll go back to recording them. Reading: MMSLP, MAP, Side Bar, Unchained male, models, The Eagle and the Dragon, WOTSM*2, WISNIFG, The dating playbook for men, The subtle art of not giving a fuck, The Rational Male, Awareness, Pook, NMMNG(x2), sex god method, Practical female psychology,…
/r/MarriedRedPill17/11/20 09:41 PM
2

Handle it accordingly. Fucked her again?
/r/MarriedRedPill11/11/20 11:54 PM
2

Thanks for this reply, I need to think on it a bit before I reply properly.
/r/MarriedRedPill11/11/20 09:12 PM
2

I need to think more on this as I have thought about it a few times but not 'figured it out'. What I do know is: I fear being selfish. I have looked at this a few times but can't shake that it is fundamentally wrong. The main problem is this plays out as not being able to enjoy things and take the full meaning/value from them just for the same of enjoyment. What if I'm lazy, like fundamentally I just want to play computer games and smoke weed. Even though I know that's not true for some reason I…
/r/MarriedRedPill11/11/20 08:55 PM
2

What do you want? I mean just want to do for you? You don't have to have some inspired mission figured out. just basic shit that you just want to do in life.Then start putting more of that in your life. Here are some things I want to do: hiking eat bacon read fiction drink beer with friends and play cards Your whole OYS is in a negative frame. Start moving towards something you want and maybe your wife will come along or maybe she wont but fuck man you need to get some positive momentum or other…
/r/MarriedRedPill11/11/20 08:38 PM
2

For all of you that ignored my last OYS, thank you. I needed that. I posted it with hidden expectations of approval and validation, but I didn’t know that until the post went unnoticed. Have you checked your upvotes yet? Laying the foundation of self-respect helped me face some facts. I’m selectively lazy and I think I’m a unicorn. that I don’t need to work as hard as other people because I’m so smart that I will just understand things without practice. Thing is, this actually fucking worked unt…
/r/MarriedRedPill11/11/20 10:01 AM
1

I have been consistent with 20 mins. of meditation weekdays. How do you kill the ego? I have heard this thrown around but I don’t think I understand what it means or how to take steps to do so. I appreciate how the ego is our greatest enemy. I’m having trouble with identity. I don’t know who I am. I wonder if that’s even a thing. Do I get to decide who I am? Do I get to discover it? It takes time, do the work, keep coming back. Read NMMNG and actually do the exercises, post them here if you want…
/r/MarriedRedPill11/11/20 09:50 AM
2

The people want to know OP, explain the rules. Yes you will get shredded. Our fiery judgement will cleanse you.
/r/MarriedRedPill11/11/20 09:41 AM
2

What's at the bottom of that? I haven't figured it out yet. There are lots of parts but I haven't figured it out properly yet. I can't type out an answer and say 'that is it'. Here are the parts I do know: I feel like I should be 'contributing' and that doing things just for yourself is selfish. (had a 'breakthrough' here recently though but I cycle up and down with it) I haven't 100% accepted who I am. I'm scared of what darkness I might find if I do accept who I am. I am still trying to contro…
/r/MarriedRedPill11/11/20 09:23 AM
2

Joy does too. I have only very recently been able to accept that for myself. That moment I realized I could just quit work and do whatever I wanted because I wanted was freeing.
/r/MarriedRedPill11/11/20 09:14 AM
1

I think I have said this to you but I really liked that post, it spelled out a lot of things I had been feeling buy was not sure about and helped give me a vision for what I want in a relationship. I grew up believing everyone knew more than me about life. But I now believe im on a level above many others. You could call that narcissistic, I would too. I know this isn't the point you were going for but you probably are, it's rare people even think about life and rarer still they can see and let …
/r/MarriedRedPill11/11/20 09:13 AM
2

Lucky is right - what do you want out of BJJ specifically? Just wait till local gyms open and use this time to do something else in the meantime. Also, if you have time to drive 40 min one way to do BJJ with 4 kids under 10 then you must exist outside of time.
/r/MarriedRedPill11/11/20 08:51 AM
2

Yeah I GAF sometimes too, when she says something that gets to you and you look inside is it the particular thing she said or is it something deeper that comes up? For me, it's generally not the comment, I got called on this in an OYS and it was spot on. I had some ego story about how that particular comment was Lv 10 bitch etc but really it was my ego. I was afraid of not being good enough, of who I was and all that crap.
/r/MarriedRedPill11/11/20 08:47 AM
3

I see what you are saying. However there are two things that I think will trip you up with this pattern of thinking: it's still written from the perspective of HER. It's not " Do not focus on my wife" it is focus on myself. Guys here spend so much time focusing on what they should do in relation to their wife and it becomes this battle they end up in that their wife doesn't even know is happening. Focus on you, being you, being who you want to be, don't worry about what she is doing. There is no…
/r/MarriedRedPill11/11/20 08:44 AM
3

Solid progress on your lifts! She is there to add value to your life, enjoy her.
/r/MarriedRedPill10/11/20 10:55 PM
3

It is great fun but satisfaction does not equal validation. You might get it but a lot of people wont when they first get here. Or ever.
/r/MarriedRedPill10/11/20 10:53 PM
2

Ninja level covert.
/r/MarriedRedPill10/11/20 09:50 PM
4

That shit’s just hypothetical, but that’s what the 1RPM spit out. Why not just post what you actually lift? Hard no. Followed by “You still love me”. My response “Hmm.” She was pissed, Do you love her? Maybe you don't and she knows it and is checking out of things herself. Are you fun to be around when you are not trying to fuck her? Sounds like you have got a general sexual energy which is great but are you doing other things? Do you like her? I'm genuinely asking all this, I haven't kept up wi…
/r/MarriedRedPill10/11/20 09:49 PM
3

This comment sums up such an important concept - apply this to ALL your interactions and actions.
/r/MarriedRedPill10/11/20 09:40 PM
6

I don't know why but I feel for you. u/JCX_Pulse is right you really do seem sad and angry. You have a world of opportunity in front of you. I know it doesn't seem like it but you're life can be great. Imagine if you were ripped, strong, did activities you liked with a group of friends you liked, could sleep with women when you wanted, had a healthy and respectful relationship with your kids and actually liked yourself. Do the work and you can. ​ Anxiety continues to be the main character of my …
/r/MarriedRedPill10/11/20 09:35 PM
3

OK, how many hills are there? I know the answer to that question, but have I accepted it and/or internalized it? Do you? There are no hills. Looking into signing up for Jiu Jitsu classes You are looking into doing something? How hard is this to actually do? I hope your next OYS includes, I have done 1-3 trial classes at different gyms and found the one I like.
/r/MarriedRedPill10/11/20 09:13 PM
5

Shit tests are her flirting. She wants you to pass them so she can feel safe in submitting to and getting fucked by you. Remember, getting fucked by a weak male was evolutionary dangerous for her and her kids. Sometimes she is just being a bitch. Then you use a boundary. Only you can decide which one it is. PSA re shit tests from Blarg I am 90% sure this post was inspired by some whinny bitch OYS I posted. I got a masterclass in shit tests from that OYS and it really helped me. I dont know how t…
/r/MarriedRedPill10/11/20 09:08 PM
4

Sexual: I had some version of this. You have some good points below but I'll share my notes in-case they are helpful. Obviously stop porn. Start paying attention to sexual desire when you feel it randomly, see a hot girl and get a rush of desire just watch that desire, fully experience it. Remember you don't actually have to do anything with sexual urges, like all physical urges, if you just watch it, it will rise then dissipate. You can try the 'healthy masturbation' in NMMNG. Remember you migh…
/r/MarriedRedPill10/11/20 08:40 PM
3

2.Do not focus on my wife, the relationship, make requests, or put pressure on my wife. Don’t make her the enemy. How could you re-frame this as an action YOU can actually DO. I get it if you are trying to catch negative thinking patterns but you have a lot in this statement and I suspect it goes beyond that.
/r/MarriedRedPill10/11/20 08:30 PM
2

I noticed that old feeling of validation creeping in due to the fact a hot 23 year old is flirting with me, but caught those thoughts and killed them fairly quickly. Did you 'kill them' or just ignore them? A lot of guys just put their feelings in a little box and think they are dealt with.
/r/MarriedRedPill10/11/20 08:25 PM
3

Was that post inspired by A Mans Search for Meaning? Thanks, one of the things I have been thinking on is the acceptance of and finding meaning in the 'struggle' - because it is actually the struggle that give the meaning in a lot of ways. I think the mistake I make is that I am too focused on the aquifer and you can never know if that is there/real etc. Like people who live their whole lives focused on the afterlife, never to actually live their real life. So I sit there analyzing if this aquif…
/r/MarriedRedPill10/11/20 08:07 PM
3

Instead of trying to explain and defend myself, I read each comment many-many times and spent time analyzing what resonates with me and what does not. I have decided to voluntarily extend my ban until I feel I do not have the need to reply to _every_ “negative” reply on my OYS#1. While I think this was a great learning for you to take careful of selling your development short by not engaging. Personally, I learn by engaging and early on I would almost repeat back to make sure I understood what t…
/r/MarriedRedPill10/11/20 09:53 AM
1

Thanks I'll have a look. I have a 'deformity' in one of the bones so likely will be more about managing pain than full fixing things. MSM might help that.
/r/MarriedRedPill10/11/20 08:24 AM
2

OYS 46: Mid 30’s, 6’ 192lb, BF 12%, Separated, one kid 3yrs (f). OHP 155*3, Bench 185*10, DL 250*3. Week Goals meditation session 20min – 4/2 10 min meditation – 2/4 mobility – 80% intended sessions pomodoros 23/20 No porn – 11/12. Reading: MMSLP, MAP, Side Bar, Unchained male, models, The Eagle and the Dragon, WOTSM*2, WISNIFG, The dating playbook for men, The subtle art of not giving a fuck, The Rational Male, Awareness, Pook, NMMNG(x2), sex god method, Practical female psychology, Meditation …
/r/MarriedRedPill10/11/20 08:21 AM
2

This is actually how I am trying to rehab on advice from a physio. I should also have mentioned I have a structural issue with the tibia which could also be causing problems. I have seen an orthopedic surgeon who advised against surgery, basically 50/50 chance of it working and fair chance of it getting worse.
/r/MarriedRedPill06/11/20 12:11 AM
2

Only above certain weights but maybe it's a form issue seeing as there shouldn't be that much tension on front of knee. Or maybe something else is also going on. I have had coaching etc so I suspect it's not a form issue.
/r/MarriedRedPill03/11/20 10:54 PM
2

I'm a huge over-thinker, While I think of it, I think there are two paths here, one is to actually engage in the thinking, systematically dismantle your incorrect beliefs etc. I support this, I like building a strong base on reason HOWEVER it works in tandem with the beliefs, beliefs are not rational a lot of the time and you can often weaken and start replacing them with reason but it's about installing the new thought pattern which then becomes a belief. So don' think you have to limit your th…
/r/MarriedRedPill03/11/20 10:53 PM
2

But I have found the more I give myself permission to fuck up, even majorly fuck up, the more motivated I am to learn from my fuck-ups and avoid them in the future. The difference I think is in the approach afterwards. Do I insulate my failures with ego-protecting bullshit, feel-good tropes? Or do I take a coach's attitude--hard truth combined with just the right amount of encouragement? Point out the natural consequences in a matter-of-fact way. "See how doing <x> resulted in <y>? Do you want t…
/r/MarriedRedPill03/11/20 10:49 PM
2

Replace this with a "I can handle anything". This is a focus for me at the moment, replacing my unconscious unhelpful reactions with better ones. The big bad future is just a boogie monster.
/r/MarriedRedPill03/11/20 10:42 PM
2

Ask me how I know. I am curious to know your story? I tell myself I just need to harden the fuck up but I can't harden up some genuine interest in life again - although that is starting to come with all the work. Re time off, I 100% agree, I have a bunch of redundancies etc planned but for now I am just thinking of the options and realizing the imaginary corner I painted myself into was just a door.
/r/MarriedRedPill03/11/20 10:34 PM
3

Blarg has often talked about the two paths of growth you walk here. I think when people first come here they often need to focus on being 'more', they are fat and lazy, don't have any friends or a life. They don't need to 'accept' themselves, they need to be better. At some point that switches. In reality it would be possible and probably better to do it at the start but I think it's hard and new people run the risk of focusing on that at the expense of doing hard things. Think lifting, you star…
/r/MarriedRedPill03/11/20 10:30 PM
2

Agreed, I have often thought my life is so easy which in a way which puts you in a dangerous situation. Take an easy example with work - I like those situations where there is a big project, it's risky, people think it can't be done etc I think a lot of us get motivated by those external pressures which we liken to existential threats. It makes sense for a man to be motivated by that, if I tell you someone is coming to kill you and your family in 3 weeks, you aren't going to spend 3 weeks feelin…
/r/MarriedRedPill03/11/20 10:15 PM
3

I have patella tendonitis which I have been unsuccessfully trying to rehab for 8 months now. Initially de-loaded from 350 to 200 with slow eccentrics. Was building back up then took a de-load then got sick and dropped it down again. I am very cautious with lower body my priority here is not getting injured.
/r/MarriedRedPill03/11/20 10:05 PM
7

Weirdly awkwardly faking the techniques seems to help me get closer to this natural state. I look at this from two directions (1) experimenting with a range of behaviors helps us find what is natural to us and (2) sometimes we dont realize how big the spectrum is, going further than is naturally us in one direction can help us realize just how far down the spectrum we naturally sit even if we do have to correct back toward neutral.
/r/MarriedRedPill03/11/20 11:04 AM
1

I like this, I think I get stuck in the should of it rather then sitting back and giving myself space to actually want to do it, which mostly I do.
/r/MarriedRedPill03/11/20 08:32 AM
1

to be honest I'm glad things got shit for me in the relationship, it allowed me to walk away, I think ti would have been harder if it was 'okay'. Without a few key people and the relationship getting really shit I think I would have gone back, I'm very glad I didn't and much happier. Like HOA says, you have to be prepared to nuke it. Try not to torture yourself. Yep, this is my focus for the next few months!
/r/MarriedRedPill03/11/20 08:30 AM
8

OYS 45: Mid 30’s, 6’ 190lb, BF 12%, Separated, one kid 3yrs (f). OHP 150*4, Bench 180*8, DL 240*3. Week Goals meditation session 20min – 2/2 10 min meditation – 4/4 mobility – 90% intended sessions pomodoros 17/20 project focus 1/5 - removing No porn – 10/12. Reading: MMSLP, MAP, Side Bar, Unchained male, models, The Eagle and the Dragon, WOTSM, WISNIFG, The dating playbook for men, The subtle art of not giving a fuck, The Rational Male, Awareness, Pook, NMMNG(x2), sex god method, no more bad ki…
/r/MarriedRedPill03/11/20 08:27 AM
1

Teaching men how to make watches rather than telling them the time is the point of this sub.
/r/MarriedRedPill30/10/20 11:29 PM
1

I was also scared to fall back into BP thinking. Eventually I accepted that it's part of the process. We don't just go from BP to RP. For me, I keep cycling, I think I have dealt with an issue then it comes up again. It does seem that each time it comes up I either go deeper into it or it is less of an issue, I guess it comes back to the layers of an onion analogy - applies to ego and all things.
/r/MarriedRedPill28/10/20 09:11 PM
1

Re 'shoulds' I see your point re baseline good faith, that is a good position to come from. I'm working on this area but haven't cracked it yet. I still have a lot of expectations for myself that are unrealistic or based on societies thoughts on what I should do/be. My goal is to totally train out of myself any sense of bitterness, self-destruction, hopelessness, self-directed hate, or any sense that my personal value is conditional on my behavior. This is great, I often look for some understand…
/r/MarriedRedPill28/10/20 09:08 PM
1

One of the things I have learned about myself and I think it applies to most people, is that we have a balance of work/rest that we all require. That could be the amount of time you need off after heavy squats or the amount of cheat meals you need in a week or the amount of play vs work. This ratio is affected by many things, total life stress is one for me and most people, and the ratio is different for different people. You can train your ratio (but sometimes training actually makes you need m…
/r/MarriedRedPill28/10/20 08:58 PM
2

I take myself off trial and see my behavior as totally separate from my identity. I struggle with this. I think it links in with what you said about the actual vs manufactured consequences. Mostly the consequences I manufacture are about me as a person rather than my behavior. I got some advice about using curiosity from EasyDays a little while ago and looks like I need to revisit it. If you didn't lift (or whatever) for 3 weeks not for any 'real reason' but because you couldn't bring yourself t…
/r/MarriedRedPill28/10/20 10:34 AM
2

Also give yourself time to settle into what you actually want. When we first realize we can live for ourselves it’s easy to have a rebound and decide you want to live with four playboy bunnies. I went through that phase but then realized what I really wanted was more tame than that.
/r/MarriedRedPill28/10/20 08:43 AM
3

My only comment would be to really define what this all is first, you seem to want thing not to be compatible with your marriage. Maybe I'm totally off but I would be looking at things like what if I did stay married, what would have to change for me to be excite by that, what do I think I can have through divorce that I can't just have right now etc. I could be projecting here, I do want to live in a nuclear family.
/r/MarriedRedPill27/10/20 09:42 PM
1

Re the money - this is my situation although I'm in a new relationship so the dynamics are different but this should be about our mindsets anyway. What about about to say is just regurgitating the Rian Stone link really. If you actually imagine a captain and first officer, the first officer might have some big trust fund and have more money than the captain but that's not what they both bring to the table. If the captain sets a clear vision, has a mission he is working towards, provides a way fo…
/r/MarriedRedPill27/10/20 09:26 PM
2

This helped me realize that I still see my self worth as dependent on external things. Would I reject myself if I stopped lifting for a week? Two? Three? I massively struggle with this, I can mostly move beyond the external mentioned above or at least see my path progressing there but then I fail an expectation I have for myself and go down a self destructive path. I would be interested to hear more about how you see failing an internal expectation. E.g. the lifting, if I stopped lifting for thr…
/r/MarriedRedPill27/10/20 08:41 PM
2

as what I want is incompatible with marriage. Have you defined exactly what you want that is not compatible with your marriage? Have you put that in an OYS before? If not, I think it would be worth doing, whenever I find myself making general statements I find I am avoiding doing the work to fully understand the situation.
/r/MarriedRedPill27/10/20 08:28 PM
1

Like when people say they are only donating money for the tax deduction... I think ‘you will be broke soon’
/r/MarriedRedPill27/10/20 08:05 PM
8

OYS 44: Mid 30’s, 6’ 190lb, BF 12%, Separated, one kid 3yrs (f). OHP 140*7, Bench 175*13, DL 240*3. Week Goals meditation session 20min – 3/2 10 min meditation – 4/4 mobility – 80% intended sessions pomodoros 17/15 project focus 1/5 No porn – 9/12. Reading: MMSLP, MAP, Side Bar, Unchained male, models, The Eagle and the Dragon, WOTSM, WISNIFG, The dating playbook for men, The subtle art of not giving a fuck, The Rational Male, Awareness, Pook, NMMNG(x2), sex god method, no more bad kids, Practic…
/r/MarriedRedPill27/10/20 08:15 AM
1

You're still afraid of mental and emotional pain This is 100% true for me and I think driving some of my behavior, I'm taking on a few points here from some of the other guys. Your points on me nuking because something doesn't align with my mission/life or it being her loss because I am a HVM put something together for me I had been struggling with. I was looking at this through other people frame rather than what do I want and focusing on doing what I want, then if whatever happens, well then w…
/r/MarriedRedPill21/10/20 11:02 PM
2

Out of my pay grade really. You would be better off talking to Blarg. My interpretation is that post is not mutually exclusive from Blarg stuff. It outlines communication and how it contributes to where you want to go, Blarg provided an overview of where he went and the things that contributed towards it. Remember these are different journeys with different people and different dynamics. MRP provides tools you can apply in different ways. u/Blarg_Risen tagging you in-case you want to correct any…
/r/MarriedRedPill21/10/20 10:46 PM
1

I thought about this a lot. Make sure you ride this productive wave There are a few things I have been struggling to crack which I'll write about in next weeks OYS - would appreciate you input next week too if you have the inclination. Productivity is one of the things I'm struggling to crack. I have the basics down, lift and good diet each week, put effort into being an active father, outdoors activities with friends, performing 'above average' at work, getting meditation and rehab exercises in…
/r/MarriedRedPill21/10/20 08:39 PM
1

Sort of, I have a history of injuries, I was doing 350 for two but I just felt 'bad', then I hurt my knee so dropped everything right down, I have been building back up but got sick and just decided to take a fairly big deload. I want to be able to lift heavy but have my body feel good at the same time. Planning to take it very slow as I build up. Still when I get to about 290 I just start 'not feeling good' so not 100% sure what to do here.
/r/MarriedRedPill21/10/20 07:48 PM
2

Still can’t figure out where my semi boredom here comes from Three things jump to mind when I read this. You say she is not particularly enthusiastic... I would find that boring. I know it's a different dynamic as you are looking to fix a relationship rather than just vet a new woman but imagine you had sex with a new woman and she was not particularly enthusiastic, would you see her again? I went through this same thing not that long ago just a bit 'meh' about sex. Guys told me I was in my mind…
/r/MarriedRedPill20/10/20 08:43 PM
1

Eh, why do you care? Unless it’s funny and entertaining. If it is please PM me stories. There are lots of entertaining stories! The reason I cared was two fold, there is still some residual buthurt/ego 'yeah fuck you I was great' probably 5% and I'm working on it, but also it helps me understand what she is doing any why. The danger here is that it keeps me focused on another persons actions. We have another court date next year so I do actually want to understand what is driving her actions as …
/r/MarriedRedPill20/10/20 08:29 PM
2

My mistake - didn’t see that.
/r/MarriedRedPill20/10/20 08:03 PM
-1

For the same amount of time you spent writing about your BF you could have ordered calipers. They are not 100% accurate but better then sone bullshit impedance measure on your bathroom scales.
/r/MarriedRedPill20/10/20 11:01 AM
3

I don't think ego is inherently bad, it serves a purpose but it can become a problem. There are a few points relevant to what was going on here: In this case, I was trying to build a purpose around protecting and validating my ego rather than what I actually wanted. My ego created a version of reality that wasn't true and I was trying to develop a purpose based on that. I was driven by Nice Guy behaviors - 'I'll help you and therefor I will matter'... spoiler alert - you still dont matter. This …
/r/MarriedRedPill20/10/20 10:43 AM
2

Thanks, reading now.
/r/MarriedRedPill20/10/20 10:35 AM
2

It certainly could be, that fear used to be strong in me and is still there to a lesser degree. If I went right back, I would say I learned to be a 'good boy' as a coping strategy to get what I needed as a child. Nice Guy. This developed into a fear of my masculine power, winning, being aggressive, being right etc. I have previously looked into my approval seeking behavior and I have cut that significantly, to the point where it is only occasionally holding me back however I think the fear I ass…
/r/MarriedRedPill20/10/20 10:35 AM
4

OYS 43: Mid 30’s, 6’ 190lb, BF 12%, Separated, one kid 3yrs (f). OHP 138*9, Bench 170*12, DL 230*3. Week Goals meditation session 20min – 4/2 10 min meditation – 3/4 mobility – 90% intended sessions pomodoros 24/20 project focus 5/5 No porn – 8/12. Reading: MMSLP, MAP, Side Bar, Unchained male, models, The Eagle and the Dragon, WOTSM, WISNIFG, The dating playbook for men, The subtle art of not giving a fuck, The Rational Male, Awareness, Pook, NMMNG(x2), sex god method, no more bad kids, Practic…
/r/MarriedRedPill20/10/20 08:14 AM
2

Yeah I get the doxxing thing. I had some big reply written here and then realized I was projecting like a mother fucker. Short version - MRP/Zen are not mutually exclusive, especially if you ignore all the shit around the edges of Zen/Buddhism that are not the actual practice. Sounds like you have sorted yourself to the point where you can reengage in these things in a healthy way - good for you man, that's the point. Re test: I'll give you a detailed answer as I'm going to use this timeline wit…
/r/MarriedRedPill15/10/20 10:19 PM
3

I have been there. I know there is research that shows you can still recomp after the beginner phase but you have to have your training and diet on point. Personally I made more progress when I picked one and went for it and I look much better as a result. You could hit the weight loss hard and lose most or all of that weight then clean bulk back up. Either-way, I think doing half/half is a risk.
/r/MarriedRedPill15/10/20 09:54 PM
2

My longer-term goal (by end of year) is to hit 15% body fat. From 17%, shit man... don't try too hard. I don't know if you have goals outside what you have listed here but they are not exactly pushing things. Sure there is something to be said for not taking on too much at once and actually hitting the goals you set but the language you use is giving you an out. 15% from 17% by the end of the year is easily 'doable'. Make sure you are not selling yourself short.
/r/MarriedRedPill14/10/20 10:28 PM
1

Do you have kids in the house with you? If not then you really just need to decide you are going to have a good life and start doing it. Do what you want, she will come along or she will not. Kids make it 'harder' because we add mental bullshit but it is still the same thing. Also, JXC said " You can start to mentally check out and start living your single life so the adjustment isn’t so hard, but that’s likely just going to cause you to procrastinate longer. " By quoting half that and leaving o…
/r/MarriedRedPill14/10/20 09:43 PM
1

I'm going to take a few days out of all physical exercise and re-evaluate towards the end of the week. Why - did you hurt both legs, both arms, your neck, and back? Or just one knee? Blood flow restriction is used by athletes to keep a level of muscle mass/strength while injured. If you have only hurt one knee then you can exercise the other and both arms and your abs and neck. Re your whole nutrition section, JCX is right. I think I have told you this before, but think of cycling up, dont just …
/r/MarriedRedPill14/10/20 09:26 PM
1

Are you being deliberately vague about your spiritual practice because you are worried about what the guys here will say? I think you are. I can't quite figure out the results. I have a total of 911 ng/dl (good?) Yet 129ng/DL "bioavailable" (low?) What is your SHGB? You have total test but it is bound to things which make in un-bioavaliable the main one is measured as SHGB. I have high SHGB so while I have normal/above normal total test, so much is bound to SHGB that there isn't enough left for …
/r/MarriedRedPill14/10/20 09:11 PM
1

Tell me if I am missing something as I don't think I am in her frame. Here are some details I left out. The relationship is good because it is what I want, and I feel like I can keep leading it where I want as I better figure out exactly what that is. Long-term I would like another kid and ideally to be with the mother, I know she want's that too. However she puts a lot of effort into her career (think top 10 in world in her field) and I dont see how she can have that AND have a kid without me p…
/r/MarriedRedPill13/10/20 10:57 PM
1

Thanks, it has been the area where I can most clearly see my progress so far.
/r/MarriedRedPill13/10/20 09:30 PM
1

So when you lost it with your daughter...did you then go back and express yourself authentically to her? Sure did. I explained that I was feeling sick and got frustrated but that it wasn't fair I got annoyed with her because I was feeling sick. Then told her I loved her. For anybody following along at home, I explained all this because I wanted her to learn that people get frustrated for a lot of reasons that don't have to do with us and that it's okay for there to be some tension and that I lov…
/r/MarriedRedPill13/10/20 09:29 PM
6

You have received plenty of advice for one week here but I'll just highlight something that caught me early on, careful of trying to 'jump through all the redpill hoops' at the start you have to be careful because you actions are driven so much by validation seeking, fear, a lack of knowing what you want and being too focused on everybody other than yourself. But, really this is about knowing what you want and unapologetically going after it. If your wife comes in with some 'test sex situation' …
/r/MarriedRedPill13/10/20 09:12 PM
1

OYS 42: Mid 30’s, 6’ 190lb, BF 12%, Separated, one kid 3yrs (f). OHP 138*9, Bench 165*16, DL 200*2. Week Goals meditation session 20min – 1/1 10 min meditation – 2/3 mobility – 90% intended sessions pomodoros 6/5 No porn – 7/12. Basically a write off until Sunday, above is based on my intended from Sunday on. Reading: MMSLP, MAP, Side Bar, Unchained male, models, The Eagle and the Dragon, WOTSM, WISNIFG, The dating playbook for men, The subtle art of not giving a fuck, The Rational Male, Awarene…
/r/MarriedRedPill13/10/20 08:14 AM
3

I started working on it when I was with my ex and I made some progress but most of my progress was made after I left her so take these notes in that context. There are four things I would highlight Focus on you, the work you do to accept and improve yourself is what you will come to judge yourself by and when you do, someone else's acceptance/rejection will mean less. The self-development and sexual improvement are correlated but its not an immediate 1:1. Careful of the buthurt - it is long and …
/r/MarriedRedPill07/10/20 09:05 PM
1

Thanks I’ll check it out.
/r/MarriedRedPill07/10/20 03:21 AM
1

Good, sounds like you are doing the work.
/r/MarriedRedPill07/10/20 12:27 AM
1

Thanks I'll check out Jordan Petersons series. I have read Mans search for meaning but it was so long ago that I am in a much different place now and will reread.
/r/MarriedRedPill07/10/20 12:25 AM
1

Short Term: Get myself centered and inwardly calm. **Made some progress on that this week. The mission will stay the same until I can confidently say I’m there. If this really is your mission are you going after it like it is your mission?
/r/MarriedRedPill06/10/20 10:40 PM
2

To quote a woman I slept with "nothing turns me on more than seeing you turned on by me". I have not slept with a women yet who didn't like it when I 'lose control with her'... to be fair I probably have a sample selection bias towards those women. u/ImpatientZen here are my notes; I had to learn to push through my fear of rejection and general buthurt which manifested in timidity and ravish her emotionally as well as physically. I was holding back from life (still am...) and therefor kept sex p…
/r/MarriedRedPill06/10/20 10:22 PM
1

OYS 41: Mid 30’s, 6’ 190lb, BF 12%, Separated, one kid 3yrs (f). OHP 138*9, Bench 193*11, DL 295*2. Week Goals meditation session 20min – 1/1 10 min meditation – 4/5 mobility – 70% intended sessions pomodoros 22/20 No porn – 7/12 fail. Reading: MMSLP, MAP, Side Bar, Unchained male, models, The Eagle and the Dragon, WOTSM, WISNIFG, The dating playbook for men, The subtle art of not giving a fuck, The Rational Male, Awareness, Pook, NMMNG(x2), sex god method, no more bad kids, Practical female psy…
/r/MarriedRedPill06/10/20 09:49 PM
1

If you want to talk about the ultimate red pill, it's that the end game doesn't exist, and we need to come to terms with that. This is what' leading to me being in the self-help frame. Reading the way of the superior man now and he touches on the same thing. Going to do more things just 'because I want to'. Still balancing the 'want to be more' with 'want to be happy with what I am' - I am slowly starting to see there is no end game and its about you in the moment and all that but still haven't …
/r/MarriedRedPill02/10/20 11:11 PM
1

Thanks, I’m going to stop LARPing this should thing. I have written about it multiple times and not properly done the work.
/r/MarriedRedPill01/10/20 03:23 AM
1

Dude who gives a shit about ‘high value women’ at this point. Just find some that are fun to fuck and enjoy it - if you want to. I think you are creating all this bullshit to avoid something, not just a fear of rejection. Go deeper, why is that a problem. For me, it would have confirmed that I am not good enough which was a fear of mine. PM me if you do want a good tinder guide but when you do it, do it properly and use it as a tool to accept yourself and your sexuality. Don’t half ass it and us…
/r/MarriedRedPill01/10/20 03:21 AM
1

The mental health and lockdown are two different things..although the lockdown is a drag. What I mean by the mental health is that I am not getting excited by things. In the past I had anxiety and depression, that has gone away but I'm still not excited by things so it's hard to figure out what I actually like. Re lockdown, one of the things I do like is outdoor activities; hiking, kayaking etc which I can't do. I have been thinking of what I used to like doing and will start incorporating that …
/r/MarriedRedPill30/09/20 10:35 PM
1

I want a strong and big frame to express myself from and not be afraid of other people’s frames You want to be big so you are not scared of other people? I’m more skinny than fat at 82kg and 186cm. Why not measure your bodyfat and actually know?
/r/MarriedRedPill29/09/20 10:45 PM
3

I signed up for both Tinder and Bumble and chatted with a few women on each before pausing both accounts. The thots on Tinder are not my style, and there are some high-quality women on Bumble but I am not in a place right now to start something serious, and I don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings. The timing just is not right. I don't believe this. Are you telling me if you couldn't find some hot fun woman who was down for just casual sex you wouldn't want it right now? Don't underestimate how ma…
/r/MarriedRedPill29/09/20 10:36 PM
2

Is this really what you want to be, or is what you think you should want to be? At my current level of insight this is what I want to be however, there are some pieces missing that I can't yet articulate. For e.g. being 'dominant' - it's not that I want to actually be dominant to other people, I want to be me and just not care what they do. If dominance comes from this then that's cool, if not then who cares? There are many flags in your OYS that scream you're too preoccupied with "shoulds" and …
/r/MarriedRedPill29/09/20 10:07 PM
5

OYS 40: Mid 30’s, 6’ 190lb, BF 12%, Separated, one kid 3yrs (f). OHP 138*9, Bench 193*11, DL 295*2. Week Goals meditation session 20min – 2/1 10 min meditation – 5/5 mobility – 90% intended sessions pomodoros 29/20 No porn – 6/12 Reading: MMSLP, MAP, Side Bar, Unchained male, models, The Eagle and the Dragon, WOTSM, WISNIFG, The dating playbook for men, The subtle art of not giving a fuck, The Rational Male, Awareness, Pook, NMMNG(x2), sex god method, no more bad kids, Practical female psycholog…
/r/MarriedRedPill29/09/20 08:42 AM
3

Need to move to barbell squat. Why? Again I realise these weights are low who's frame are you in when you say this? I'm mid 30's and my first priority is not getting injured, yeah it means my weights are much less than they could be and I don't currently squat but they are MY priorities. If someone here told me I need to lift heavier, they would be wrong. In your situation you are 50 and maybe you are more/less focused on not getting hurt. So your weights are low, if that is because you consiste…
/r/MarriedRedPill23/09/20 10:03 PM
1

That's what I'm after, I'm well on my way and at this point am 100% confident we'll get there. I think parents/the system try and 'teach' too much based on some conceptually 'perfect' way of looking at things but that's not how life happens. I want to be in the trenches with her showing her and helping her better understand what actually happens. Thanks for the input.
/r/MarriedRedPill23/09/20 09:44 PM
1

This is all spot on, on some level I 'know it' but I am still struggling to make it part of how I think/feel on a day to day basis. It's a lot to keep in mind, over the next few week I'm going to focus on: putting myself first. amused mastery letting go of buthurt I have a pretty simple test: does this affect my relationship with my kids or put them in harms way? That's my criteria for involvement. If she wants to bad mouth me to others or do crazy shit in her own life - that's on her. It's unfo…
/r/MarriedRedPill23/09/20 09:37 PM
1

re kids - that's a good example of what I'm working towards. I am making good progress here but I'm in a lock-down area which is a pain. Still getting her involved in jobs around the house. She helped me sharpen the chainsaw - what could go wrong... The coin thing made me think - I am going to spend more time engaging with her on the little things and following her lead. So rather than getting the money out and having her count it and pay because I think that's going to help her grow - have more…
/r/MarriedRedPill23/09/20 11:36 AM
1

I have been trying this strategy and it is helping but still plenty of crap. For all the reasons above I think it's still the right approach to continue with.
/r/MarriedRedPill23/09/20 11:33 AM
1

Re 'orders' I'm in two minds here, as you, u/Blarg_Risen and u/rotkohlblaukraut have all pointed out - realistically all I can do is manage my behavior. In terms of why I might do it: legal reasons - put them in, she breaks them and then when she asks to move interstate court will say - but you don't follow court orders so risk it too great. I'll ask the lawyers about that and act accordingly. I dont want to 'let' someone treat me like crap. I still lack self-belief and part of me doubts I will …
/r/MarriedRedPill23/09/20 11:32 AM
3

OYS 39: Mid 30’s, 6’ 190lb, BF 11%, Separated, one kid 3yrs (f). OHP 138*9, Bench 193*11, DL 295*2. Week Goals meditation session 20min – 1/1 10 min meditation – 5/5 mobility – 60% intended sessions pomodoros 25/20 No porn – 5/12 Reading: MMSLP, MAP, Side Bar, Unchained male, models, The Eagle and the Dragon, WOTSM, WISNIFG, The dating playbook for men, The subtle art of not giving a fuck, The Rational Male, Awareness, Pook, NMMNG(x2), sex god method, no more bad kids, Practical female psycholog…
/r/MarriedRedPill22/09/20 08:37 AM
1

Sometimes the things people say on here are just wrong so there is that possibility. I'm sure I do/have done a lot of DEERing on here too - I look at it from an intent perspective; am I justifying my behavior to some internet stranger or seeking to explore/understand myself/behaviors.
/r/MarriedRedPill18/09/20 12:39 AM
2

Few weeks into MRP and snapping that 1000’ rope tight? You would reel her in three’... if you are lucky. But you seem to recognize that so keep working and find a way to lift weights not your own weight.
/r/MarriedRedPill17/09/20 06:01 AM
1

Hey just a note on DEERing. Explaining yourself to your wife when she shit tests you and explaining your insights without ego after introspection to get input from some of the guys here are two different things.
/r/MarriedRedPill17/09/20 01:02 AM
1

When she initiates i go with it, it’s when she doesn’t initiate that the hamster starts. It’s not strong anymore but reading this OYS/your reply I realized it’s still there.
/r/MarriedRedPill17/09/20 12:45 AM
5

My relationship with my daughter has never been better. The effort you put in will be well worth it - be the oak for your kids. My wife confessed to me that she feels like she’s hitting ‘a wall,’ and she’s lonely and empty, but she feels alive because of the kids. I didn’t know how to process it and respond, so I STFU. I figure that whatever my wife is going through, she has to figure it out for herself. I can be there to support, but I won’t be making the nice guy mistake of trying to fix it fo…
/r/MarriedRedPill16/09/20 10:49 PM
1

Try completing this sentence: If my woman does X*, it would mean* Y to me, so I'm able to do Z*.* shit... I have this with initiations too, not strong but it is there. "If she initiates it means I am wanted and then I feel validated" And, "If she initiates it means she wants me and therefore I am 'in control' and then I can feel safe."
/r/MarriedRedPill16/09/20 10:34 PM
1

Yea, beacuse you are or at least act like one still. I still am. Also, I haven't figured out how to balance what I want (amicable relationship) where both of us do things for each-other (mostly around benefit to daughter) with everything else.
/r/MarriedRedPill16/09/20 05:57 AM
1

Thanks - I am the prize... A mental model I clearly still need to work on.
/r/MarriedRedPill16/09/20 05:55 AM
1

Stop doing the Ex favors. She’s not your responsibility anymore. I get a benefit from them, we have one more court date and I want to get her to agree to some thing I likely wouldn't' get from the judge AND she can move (not out of the state anymore) but at least further away. I know she stays in part because its easier for her and that makes my life easier. Why do you feel you have to manage her? This is something I need to think about. got into a back and forth and spent 4 hours going through …
/r/MarriedRedPill16/09/20 05:53 AM
5

A few of your posts/comments have really struck a chord with me. Thanks for the insights...and the irony of me feeling compelled to say it...
/r/MarriedRedPill16/09/20 04:03 AM
0

And, it's complex; much more complex than Strong lifts. I think it'll take be 2-3 weeks before I fully wrap my brain around how it all works. I'm currently running it, feel free to reach-out if you have questions. MAP and Relationships I can't remember what your previous OYS look like here but it seems like you are LARPing - do you want actual friends or to be social? It's pretty unlikely you are going to turn some random you chat to into a proper friend. If you want friends, I would find someth…
/r/MarriedRedPill15/09/20 11:21 PM
4

Activity: What don’t I like about myself, why those things, why does it bother me. I have a fear response to sex, I reminisce about the past and misremember how good it was, I feel down a lot, I get worried about what people thing, I get passive aggressive when I don’t get what I want , I avoid confrontation, I feel like I should be able to do anything, I get jealous of others, I feel insecure, I am tired a lot, I alternate between excited and no point to doing anything, I let other people ‘push…
/r/MarriedRedPill15/09/20 08:43 AM
4

OYS 38: Mid 30’s, 6’ 190lb, BF 12%, Separated, one kid 3yrs (f). OHP 138*9, Bench 193*11, DL 295*2. Week Goals meditation session 20min – 2/1 10 min meditation – 4/5 mobility – 80% intended sessions pomodoros 25/20 No porn – 4/12 Reading: MMSLP, MAP, Side Bar, Unchained male, models, The Eagle and the Dragon, WOTSM, WISNIFG, The dating playbook for men, The subtle art of not giving a fuck, The Rational Male, Awareness, Pook, NMMNG(x2), sex god method, no more bad kids, Practical female psycholog…
/r/MarriedRedPill15/09/20 08:43 AM
2

and tell him he needs to do better when he does wet the bed. For a fact, yelling at him made him wet the bed, and definitely stressed him out. The wetting the bed bit is a subconscious thing, he can't 'do better'. You already know some level of stress results in him wetting the bed (yelling) I would try being the oak for him, so he sees he is 100% safe in you and see what happens. I wouldn't be surprised if the bed wetting stops. Also, lots of other benefits in that. No bad kids by Janet Julian …
/r/MarriedRedPill14/09/20 10:35 PM
3

Hey man that is shit re your kids. I didn’t go through that but I’m on my second ‘legal battle’ and here are some notes that might help: - remember your ability to hold strong in the face of utter unreasonable shit is probably the best weapon you have. - you are playing the long game, even when you have to eat shit in the short term remember the long game. - if you can afford it (and make a big effort here) get second or third opinions on key issues. As you found out, a mistake on s key decision…
/r/MarriedRedPill12/09/20 07:41 AM
2

I don't know what this looks like: Stop yelling, and showing anger or emotion But if your emotional outbursts are causing your son to wet the bed you need to sort that shit out immediately. When I was still losing my temper with my daughter (and I'm sure I will again) I tracked everyday 'temper' anything other than me being in 100% control was a fail. Having those 'x' in your face is a good reminder and I found it helped control my emotions in the moment. I have a lot of work to do when it comes…
/r/MarriedRedPill12/09/20 12:04 AM
2

I am noticing all of that too, the ability to deal with disappointment is something I was not expecting. When I was trying to 'parent' around her, basically it was just an extension of my nice guy shit, trying to manage her emotions. She would get worked up about something, daughter would take her cue from mom and I would flap about trying to appease her emotions. Feels so good not to be doing that anymore AND to know exactly who I want to be with my daughter.
/r/MarriedRedPill11/09/20 11:57 PM
2

I find posts like this useful, it helps to see practical applications from different people and I would be interested to read similar posts from other vets.
/r/MarriedRedPill11/09/20 11:32 PM
2

That would be shit - use it for motivation to become someone who has options. Start by actually putting work into your OYS, see how other people use a common format and put effort into theirs? Do that, nobody will give you any help until you put some effort in.
/r/MarriedRedPill11/09/20 11:41 AM
2

At 5’9, 205lb and 25% BF. I would cut to sub 15%, feel and look good then go from there. Unless you really want to go for max strength there is no reason to be fat.
/r/MarriedRedPill11/09/20 12:34 AM
3

I know my ego is going to be the thing that will be a lifelong battle to contend with
/r/MarriedRedPill10/09/20 10:48 PM
3

I have never dealt with something like this so this could all be bullshit; I’m not sure you are being as incongruent as you think. Of course chrones and your son fucks you sometimes but are you really trying to project the image of someone who isn’t affected at all by this? Would you want to be that person? It sounds like you want to be a person who can deal with it without being needy etc and it sounds like you are that person. You can say from a place of strength ‘I am hurting’. Also, if I was…
/r/MarriedRedPill10/09/20 01:05 AM
2

and mine.
/r/MarriedRedPill09/09/20 10:14 PM
2

Thanks for the info. I am working on reviewing goals more regularly too. Motivation and energy are an issue for me but making steady progress. I'll be following your OYS to see if you learn anything on this.
/r/MarriedRedPill09/09/20 10:01 PM
3

Game and sex Regarding this section, I could be way off the mark here so take this with a grain of salt but something I have noticed in myself is when I don't really care/like the person I can breeze past shit tests. Then I start to like/care about them and find it harder to brush them off, expectations and all that crap. Just be careful your progress here is not due to you not caring about what SHE does vs not caring about what any woman does because you are the man you want to be etc.
/r/MarriedRedPill09/09/20 09:42 PM
3

I can be very judgmental of people in my head, maybe I’ve brought that from childhood I think I used that as a way to cope, I am trying to change that though and be more open to people and who they are. Is caused by: I also struggle with self acceptance, intellectually speaking I know I have a lot of great quality’s, things that some people would love to have, but I struggle with just accepting myself not being perfect. It's a defense mechanism. You judge others because (1) you judge yourself ha…
/r/MarriedRedPill09/09/20 06:29 AM
2

Wife and her friend were talking about a recent failed relationship the friend had and I immediately jump in offering unsolicited advice. Also, you actually cared... you need better things to do. Even though Im down over 70lbs I made the mistake of thinking physically attractiveness was key, but in a LTR it's a prerequisite - you are unattractive because of how you act and need to fix that. I bring it up because its easy to get entitle, well I lost 70lb, you are still fat, you should find me att…
/r/MarriedRedPill09/09/20 06:14 AM
3

I got really good at dread Just trust me when I say, you didn't. I feel like I need to keep meeting woman until I meet one that I have the motivation to be RP with the rest of my life. I am unsure how this is going to work. Oh fuck no. Look, I feel for you which is why I'm replying. Sometimes life if tough and you come across MRP looking for a lifeline... you think it's all about fixing your life but it's about fixing YOU. You are more fucked up that you can see. she has options. So does future …
/r/MarriedRedPill09/09/20 06:02 AM
2

What is your cup of tea? What do you value in other people? Personally I have found some of the buddhist stuff around compassion actually quite helpful in fully appreciating people. Might be worth looking into. Fair warning, it takes a while to develop.
/r/MarriedRedPill09/09/20 05:51 AM
2

This will require me to improve my energy levels I'm interested to know how you are working on this? Energy is a struggle for me.
/r/MarriedRedPill09/09/20 05:48 AM
2

I have quit the sneaking and at the same time noticed SHE is constantly lying and sneaking to get her way. Passive-aggressive behaviour maybe, that's certainly the way I used to be. When I had to make up fake excuses and reasons, that was not an honest projection of my frame onto the world, now was it? I would even say that deceptive behaviour per definition is about trying to get your way -from inside the frame of the other-, because yoy lack your own. If you have the other one in your frame, n…
/r/MarriedRedPill09/09/20 05:45 AM
2

I don’t feel like they are my type of people. Who are my type of people? Careful of this line of thinking. I get it, finding people you click with matters and can be hard but be very careful you are not using it as an excuse for something on your side of the table. If nobody is 'my type of people?' then the issue might be you.
/r/MarriedRedPill09/09/20 05:37 AM
2

I was here soon after Horns started and saw his meteoric rise from faggot to vanguard in what seemed like months. As one other MRPer noted at the time I first mentioned this; he wasn’t a career beta, he had just been temporarily muzzled by the Disney fantasy, whereas I had been raised as your typical blue pilled simp. The time it will take me to fully convert my lifetime of BP fantasy to RP reality is likely to be years, not months, and seeing that my first OYS wasn’t even two years ago shows me…
/r/MarriedRedPill09/09/20 05:34 AM
3

Something you've denied them for years by making their gifts obligatory. 100% and it's something I still do. After the 'guilt trip comment' I was aware of this and I saw her last night (first time since the comment). I let go of any expectation and just gave her the gift of sex with me. I kept falling into 'planning mode' - 'I want XYZ to happen, so I will do this, then that, then she might react... bla bla bla...' I kept letting it go and just being in the moment, giving freely and enjoying her…
/r/MarriedRedPill08/09/20 11:26 PM
4

you will see a cycle of this mutual gifting almost immediately and it will be powerful. Seeing this already. I am noticing there are two main components for this safe space, the safety in that anything she is/feels is okay and will not affect me AND the boundaries. and maybe one day she will give herself as freely to another man (worthy of it) as she has to you. This is one of my main motivators, if she doesn't see what this looks like from me then I'm just setting her up to fail. There have bee…
/r/MarriedRedPill08/09/20 11:18 PM
5

Activities I stole some activities recommended to someone else last week (similar to some of the NMMNG stuff) it deals with loving yourself which I need to focus on. Do I love myself? I found it hard to answer this question. I don’t really feel love very much right now. I love my daughter but she is about the only one I can actually ‘feel’ love towards. I love other people but it feels more intellectual, like I know I do but I don’t ‘feel’ it. I think this is because I life from a place of fear.…
/r/MarriedRedPill08/09/20 08:33 AM
7

OYS 37: Mid 30’s, 6’ 192lb, BF 12%, Separated, one kid 3yrs (f). OHP 138*9, Bench 193*11, DL 295*2. Week Goals meditation session 20min – 1/1 10 min meditation – 6/5 mobility – 100% intended sessions pomodoros 21/20 No porn – 3/12 Reading: MMSLP, MAP, Side Bar, Unchained male, models, The Eagle and the Dragon, WOTSM, WISNIFG, The dating playbook for men, The subtle art of not giving a fuck, The Rational Male, Awareness, Pook, NMMNG(x2), sex god method, no more bad kids, Practical female psycholo…
/r/MarriedRedPill08/09/20 08:33 AM
1

Yeah thanks, that example does help. I actually encountered that exact situation after reading your reply and it helped me now take it personally. I almost look for something personal to react to. I'll write about it in this weeks OYS but it's something I have been thinking about.
/r/MarriedRedPill08/09/20 12:47 AM
1

shit testing is congruence testing. This along with 'fitness testing' and flirting depending on the circumstances is a more accurate and helpful mental model than the bullshit I had built up.
/r/MarriedRedPill03/09/20 10:39 PM
2

You have received lots of good advice here and I encourage you to take it onboard however don't lose sight of the overall - this is a good OYS, you are actually owning shit and have had some big wins so far. Good work - you are winning with the majority and the comments here will help win with the rest. I will be interested to see what next weeks OYS looks like.
/r/MarriedRedPill03/09/20 10:26 PM
2

lack the necessary self-esteem This, along with a scarcity mindset. I thought because I can jump on tinder and be fucking some hottie within a few days that I had abundance but I realized it is much more than that. I have scarcity for affection, kindness etc. I still feel like I 'need' something from someone else. Back to work.
/r/MarriedRedPill03/09/20 10:22 PM
1

Disconnecting shit-testing and random selfish emotional outbursts by my wife from my ego-triggers took a long time, This is what I need to figure out. when it's an obvious shit test I'm good to go, but when it gets personal/nasty I struggle to see the difference. I realize I'm over invested in my ego, insecure and therefor tend to see comments as personal when I just need to get over myself. My approach is meditation to look at the ego, activities about actually liking myself to deal with the in…
/r/MarriedRedPill03/09/20 10:18 PM
1

A huge chunk of that conversational debacle was your ego. True. I was using the story to justify why I'm right in being offended. But it was ego - I hadn't seen this. What other ego-stories are you doing this with? That I haven't achieved more because of the false DV charge and other things I have had to deal with. That I am 'special' because of what happened. That I am somehow special/different that the other 7billion people on earth... or from anything really. That I am not who I want to be be…
/r/MarriedRedPill02/09/20 09:27 PM
2

Yeah I'm looking for 'things' because I'm still in another mini-rambo. There is some other shit about vulnerability, looking for a reason to make this not work etc but it's besides the main point. The main driver of my reaction was insecurity and being in her frame. Back to focusing on myself.
/r/MarriedRedPill02/09/20 06:18 AM
2

I'm getting caught up in the extreme version, for e.g. if your kid just died and some woman made a hurtful comment to 'test your strength' I would tell them to get fucked, I think most people would. But because I'm insecure, I'm overacting to minor comments like they are a big deal.
/r/MarriedRedPill02/09/20 05:11 AM
2

focus on you, and stop dragging other's external opinions about you into your "important" area in your head Yes, key for me - I will focus on this.
/r/MarriedRedPill02/09/20 05:08 AM
2

Thanks, that helps me see it. At the end of the day, you can do whatever you want dude. I'm not sure how it comes across ( I think from the exchange I outlined, it's clear I cant even read a social situation) but my questions/back and forwards is me trying to understand. I appreciate the input.
/r/MarriedRedPill02/09/20 12:00 AM
2

That breakdown is so helpful for me. Really helps me see how I came across and why its still all about me.
/r/MarriedRedPill01/09/20 11:58 PM
2

Thanks But i find it hard to believe with the conversation you had that you have your shit on lock. None of my shit is on lock.
/r/MarriedRedPill01/09/20 11:53 PM
2

When you're getting butthurt, you fixate on them and they're a HUGE deal. So you start to wonder if your life would be easier without that bullshit - you're starting to sneak in an excuse. But the deal is - it's not bullshit. It's the game. Thanks, this helps me frame the whole thing properly.
/r/MarriedRedPill01/09/20 11:50 PM
2

Youre getting a lot of my time and attention today so I hope you use it well. I do appreciate the time, it is helping me understand. But the new girl doesn't see the old you. She never has. She's comparing the you now to all the studs out there. Your "progress" doesn't mean shit. And here I am, comparing myself to myself...which IS the right answer but important to remember others arn't.
/r/MarriedRedPill01/09/20 11:49 PM
2

Yeah, I realized while doing it.... and still did it. This is something I really need to pay attention to, I constantly communicate low value but ignore it because I think I'm making improvements elsewhere... but my actions betray me.
/r/MarriedRedPill01/09/20 10:29 PM
1

Thanks, will check it out.
/r/MarriedRedPill01/09/20 10:27 PM
2

1 ) You’re not equipped for anything above STFU at this time. Maybe, genuine STFU is probably the response most congruent with myself but also remember I'm giving you my worst of the week. I think sometimes we make the mistake of thinking what people post here are their average actions but we tend to post wins and losses. Having said that, STFU is a good answer for me. 2 ) I see you are on your way to oneitis. Have a safe trip I still dont see it, which is concerning as you are the 4th person to…
/r/MarriedRedPill01/09/20 10:27 PM
2

why it’s subtitled “women”. It was women then it became A woman. if you were spinning 3 plates, would any of this have been a problem? Sort of, I still would have been a buthurt bitch which I am trying to address, I still would not know the difference between a shittest I will have fun with and someone crossing the line, and I'm aiming to be able to handle a relationship independent of other women.
/r/MarriedRedPill01/09/20 10:22 PM
2

You are too sensitive. Agreed. Working on that.
/r/MarriedRedPill01/09/20 10:18 PM
2

Thanks, this is helpful. I probably need to focus on my insecurities before I'll know what's actually a problem or not. I still have way too many expectations for everybody else.
/r/MarriedRedPill01/09/20 10:17 PM
2

I'm a spaz with reddit comments so tagging u/SteelSharpensSteel, u/Blarg_Risen and u/innominating Do you have any thoughts on why after me getting buthurt she has been submissive, nice, fun to be around, fucked me twice every day and did anal for the first time? It's been a week now so not just one day of niceness. I have two theories: On the whole I am what she wants. When I post here I'm posting my failings; that exchange was the biggest failing last week. I'm not posting the small shit tests …
/r/MarriedRedPill01/09/20 10:14 PM
2

Leave room for natural dread instead of spelling it out like an autist. I didn't realize that if you have to spell it out you are signalling you dont actually have it and women want to feel that 'tension' not be told they are replaceable. Also, difference between how far I would go with fuck buddy vs relationship.
/r/MarriedRedPill01/09/20 10:04 PM
2

Side note to my fellow autists - I thought because I looked good physically and could get hot girls, that I had SMV. But I made two mistakes: The physical stuff is minimum requirements. Sure it might get your something here but then most guys are just 12months of hard training and eating right away from looking fuckable. I was (am) still demonstrating daily to women when I get in a relationship that I am lower value than them. Re point 2, you can look good etc but if you subconsiciously communic…
/r/MarriedRedPill01/09/20 10:01 PM
2

This is more congruent with me but I see the intent of u/innominating's reply. For me, step one is - dont be buthurt or at least STFU about it if I am and look into WHY a comment is even a problem.
/r/MarriedRedPill01/09/20 09:53 PM
3

I feel like her response was a tease more than her throwing darts. In this case I think it really was meant to hurt. He just got butthurt over it. Either-way, I did get buthurt over it. If I was doing my own thing to my own standard, how much would I have cared? I'm not phased by minor shit tests, but when they get more 'personal' I'm struggling with two issues: I'm insecure and not happy with myself so I get buthurt I'm not sure how to tell what is a level of shittest to just STFU etc or when t…
/r/MarriedRedPill01/09/20 09:52 PM
2

She doesn’t care about the money, it’s me who is an insecure bitch about it. But yeah I just have to focus on me and enjoying my life, see if she is part of it or not.
/r/MarriedRedPill01/09/20 10:59 AM
2

Agree, thanks.
/r/MarriedRedPill01/09/20 10:57 AM
3

I’m struggling with the difference between a shit test and just being a bitch that I don’t want in my life. For e.g. if we ignore me being insecure and getting buthurt, I can handle some snarky comment about me not doing what she want or whatever but do I want someone who would deliberately try and actually hurt me by targeting what she thinks are my weakness? I’m not sure it was about shit testing and more an attempt to hurt me because I said something that hurt her. Having said all that, if I …
/r/MarriedRedPill01/09/20 10:57 AM
2

Bathroom scale: 17.8% Strongur.io: 15.0% Navy: 14.62% Jackson Pollock 4-point: 9.54% Just pick the most accurate one and use it as a metric to help guide your actions dont waste time doing 342 different BF tests - get to a point where you look good, then use whatever 'test' you decide on to monitor as you bulk etc. I have held back on the physical Kino as she has a sore throat, and I'm not into getting that at all (Corona or not). I have been teasing her about it though, saying I'd kiss her if s…
/r/MarriedRedPill01/09/20 09:13 AM
6

OYS 36: Mid 30’s, 6’ 190lb, BF 12%, Separated, one kid 3yrs (f). OHP 160*1, Bench 215*2, DL 290*2. Week Goals meditation session 20min – 2/1 10 min meditation – 6/5 boundaries – good, room to improve mobility – 90% intended sessions pomodoros 22/20 No porn – 2/12 Reading: MMSLP, MAP, Side Bar, Unchained male, models, The Eagle and the Dragon, WOTSM, WISNIFG, The dating playbook for men, The subtle art of not giving a fuck, The Rational Male, Awareness, Pook, NMMNG(x2), sex god method, no more ba…
/r/MarriedRedPill01/09/20 08:15 AM
1

Yes. If anything, I do too much warm up. I've been starting with an empty bar and adding 10kg each set (of 5 reps) ... for a total of 8 sets. I've also been lifting every other day for 3 weeks straight, so I think I've been experiencing CNS fatigue. I'm going take a few days, and when I next in the gym I'll try a more measured warm up. Remember a warm up is about your CNS too. Currently I'm dead-lifting 120kg, I do a generally warm up to 'get warm' then 60 for 2-3 sets of 3, focusing on techniqu…
/r/MarriedRedPill28/08/20 01:09 PM
2

That’s, the safe space comment has helped me apply this across the board rather than just this one area.
/r/MarriedRedPill28/08/20 04:22 AM
3

Not sure whats going on with your fitness section.. maybe you posted some direction in previous OYS. If not, get some. - What is your BF? - What is your target BF? - Are you cutting, bulking, maintain, strength? - Why are you doing 58 different strength programs? - In 3 years, where do you want to be physically, what are you doing now to get there. I'm a total fuckup that cannot control weed usage. I've already went WAY over my weekly calorie allowance and it is reflected back to me in my weight…
/r/MarriedRedPill27/08/20 12:17 AM
1

That's where I can say dread at least gives you 'hope'. Important not to understate the importance of this...so many guys really do need the lifeline. As everybody has said, hopefully they let go before it's too late.
/r/MarriedRedPill26/08/20 02:09 AM
3

Can you go back in time and send this to me? The danger of that book, like Horns said, is that it outlines a 'clear' plan with levels of progression. When you are sinking you want so bad for there to be an answer and you can't see the answer is about you because you are so deep in someone else's frame. To be honest, even reading this at the start I would have followed the same path and created covert/overt contracts etc.
/r/MarriedRedPill26/08/20 12:41 AM
3

Totally failed at 95kg DL yesterday. Not sure what happened. Did 90kg (1x5) without any problems and thought 95kg would be straightforward, then just couldn't get in a single rep. Lacking focus perhaps. Did you warm up enough? Are you emotionally drained? Sometimes 60kg feels heavy, I keep doing sets of 2-3, focusing on technique and power until they don't and then move up - repeat at each weight weight until you get to working sets. Remember deads are CNS intensive and you are warming your CNS …
/r/MarriedRedPill26/08/20 12:17 AM
5

I'll add my experience as someone currently going through exactly what Horns describes. I was focused on what validation I was/wasn't receiving and still often am, but when I can let go of all expectations (you make them all up anyway) my desire can fully come out. A raging hard on that feels 'right' because it is a physical manifestation of my drive and desire. Also, the new T protocol is working...
/r/MarriedRedPill26/08/20 12:05 AM
3

My sleep is off and I drank a lot this weekend because I let my emotions fuel my decision making process. Mark Manson would not be impressed. I understand, however, that the road out of divorce is not a linear path, so instead of beating myself up I’m offering myself some grace, but still demanding accountability How long ago did you separate? It took me a while to get over the initial shitness. I drank too much, didn't sleep enough and watched netflixs - I found setting minimum standards for th…
/r/MarriedRedPill25/08/20 11:28 PM
4

I am starting to be more “just me” and OK with that I am starting to see this IS MRP and that being 'just me' keeps going deeper. First you strip all the nice guy stuff, then you start doing things you actually want to do, then you start letting go of fear/expectations, then you start letting go of everything I previously wrote because it's just another way to not be you. I'm not sure how deep this rabbit hole goes - but I like it. I don’t know what I want that life to look like after. Do I want…
/r/MarriedRedPill25/08/20 11:21 PM
3

OYS 35: Mid 30’s, 6’ 188lb, BF 12%, Separated, one kid 3yrs (f) Week Goals meditation session 20min – 1/1 10 min meditation – 5/5 boundaries – good mobility – 80% intended sessions pomodoros 21/20 No porn – 1/12 Reading: MMSLP, MAP, Side Bar, Unchained male, models, The Eagle and the Dragon, WOTSM, WISNIFG, The dating playbook for men, The subtle art of not giving a fuck, The Rational Male, Awareness, Pook, NMMNG(x2), sex god method, no more bad kids, Practical female psychology 15%, Meditation …
/r/MarriedRedPill25/08/20 11:04 PM
1

Thanks, I haven't looked at meditations for a while, I just got my copy out. Those are some solid quotes.
/r/MarriedRedPill23/08/20 03:53 AM
1

I get stuck on "Well...I guess it isnt you with me there in my vision..." in theory I get it... but when I have invested in the person, I struggle to draw the line between you chose not to do something I want which is annoying and I need to get over it and you consistently don't deliver value in a way that I want in my life and I need to move on. In fact I get stuck on moving on at all - hence I'm still wanting happy families with someone who I left more than a year ago and treated me in a way I…
/r/MarriedRedPill21/08/20 09:25 AM
1

Be prepared for random things that you will have to deal with from your Stbx. Just because you have papers signed doesn’t mean much. Except you have a court maybe backing you up. The burden of proof is on you if it comes to that. Yeah this is something I have to keep in mind. I have had a fair bit of legal shit that I have come out of positively by doing this this but not that things are 'signed' its easy to slip. Eventually you will realize these are the same. I'm in a strange place with MRP ri…
/r/MarriedRedPill21/08/20 09:18 AM
1

I’m not sure how to put this in words so this may not be as clear as you need. One the guys here often says ‘your words betray you’ that’s what’s happening here. You are fake agreeing with the comments, imagine a child saying ‘yes’ to whatever you say just so they don’t have to engage, they are not hearing you even though they are saying ‘yes’.
/r/MarriedRedPill20/08/20 11:35 PM
3

It makes it not even about being friends anymore. It makes it all about not being enemies." You just summed me up in relationships.... I'm still not able to create a vision for what I want without setting it up as a series of expectations my partner has to meet - and then I'm waiting for her to not meet that expectation and I'll be there, but-hurt... I must be so fun to be around.
/r/MarriedRedPill18/08/20 11:57 PM
4

OYS 34: Mid 30’s, 6’ 187lb, BF 11%, Separated, one kid 3yrs (f) Week Goals meditation session 20min – 3/1 10 min meditation – 3/5 (did more 20min sessions) boundaries – good mobility – 700% intended sessions pomodoros 23/20 No porn – 1/12 Reading: MMSLP, MAP, Side Bar, Unchained male, models, The Eagle and the Dragon, WOTSM, WISNIFG, The dating playbook for men, The subtle art of not giving a fuck, The Rational Male, Awareness, Pook, NMMNG(x2), sex god method, no more bad kids, Practical female …
/r/MarriedRedPill18/08/20 10:58 PM
1

Basically I’m just reiterating the advice here: - Don’t go on a sex moratorium. I did - bad idea. - Don’t tell your wife. - You don’t need a friend, I did my BF exercise then read other people’s answers on /r/NMMNG to see if I could get any additional insight. My answers are all in my OYS if you want some to read.
/r/askMRP17/08/20 09:24 PM
2

Thanks for the reminder, comparing myself is a mistake I often make. Then I try and justify it... Oh well I had x problem, they didn't, I'm doing XYZ etc. But that's just more comparison. I am trying to step outside of that all together and bring it back to me and what I want.
/r/MarriedRedPill13/08/20 05:45 AM
2

I wonder if you're going through another anger stage by being confronted with some of the same BP behaviors as you did in your marriage. That you had the expectation that you were further along your journey by now but you're still losing frame. I think this is happening, I hadn't realized. Particularly the expecting to be further along, its been bugging me lately. I read someone else's OYS last week who has been at it about the same time as I have and I realized how much further along they were.…
/r/MarriedRedPill11/08/20 11:18 PM
2

I meant to comment on one of your previous OYS but forgot. You said your concerned about not getting it up were holding you back from meeting girls. I have this exact same thing - first few times its a problem then I get over it. Normally only with condoms but lately it happened even without. I got a bunch of advice here about getting over the fundamental problem which might be worth looking at. But when I first left ex and wanted to sleep around I just got some Viagra (apparently Cialis is bett…
/r/MarriedRedPill11/08/20 11:08 PM
2

I'm happy to have people point out things that I am not seeing. Consider that I have been literally just fucking girls with 0 relationship since starting here so this is in effect OYS 3-ish for me from that perspective. Having said that, I dont think oneitis is an issue, beyond what you naturally have when you are not actively fucking another person. While I don't want to right now, I would walk if things were not what I want. I can be an entitled little bitch and expect to get everything I want…
/r/MarriedRedPill11/08/20 10:51 PM
2

I’m seriously curious. I’ve heard people in physique competitions get emotionally out of whack the lower their body fat % gets. Have you taken into consideration that your cut might be affecting your mood/motivation/feelings? I have thought about it and it could be contributing but 11% (home calipers so who really knows) isn't that low and I have been this way for a while. I think it's T and general faggatory. I had this problem. (6years pre-RP) It stopped when I began to take charge in taking d…
/r/MarriedRedPill11/08/20 10:38 PM
2

Thanks, I think it's related to: " I was thinking ‘what should I do according to MRP’ and it felt inauthentic, I have shifted this to ‘what do I want to do, considering these new tools I have?’ " Rather than just doing what I want I was wondering what I 'should' do.
/r/MarriedRedPill11/08/20 10:33 PM
2

I have been running GZCL and liking it. Good mix of lower and higher reps.
/r/MarriedRedPill11/08/20 12:01 PM
3

OYS 33: Mid 30’s, 6’ 187lb, BF 11%, Separated, one kid 3yrs (f) Week Goals meditation session 20min – 5/1 10 min meditation – 2/5 (did more 20min sessions) boundaries – good mobility – 60% intended sessions pomodoros 14/20 Reading: MMSLP, MAP, Side Bar, Unchained male, models, The Eagle and the Dragon, WOTSM, WISNIFG, The dating playbook for men, The subtle art of not giving a fuck, The Rational Male, Awareness, Pook, NMMNG(x2), sex god method, no more bad kids, , Meditation Book (40%), Physical…
/r/MarriedRedPill11/08/20 08:17 AM
1

I should stop being tired That's fucking retarded - how will you 'stop being tired?' How about identifying what you think it making you tired and fixing those issues? You're fat, fix that, you dont sleep enough? fix that, You feel tired and dont make an effort, make more of an effort etc. I need to be less passive in my life As above. what SPECIFIC actions will you undertake to be more aggressive? This feels like a weak ass OYS. After writing this I feel as though I need more clarity in my life.…
/r/MarriedRedPill10/08/20 11:36 PM
2

You seem to have fixed some things (coffee, weed, etc) and I think the ego is fake so I'm going to point some things out. I'm the definition of a dancing monkey You are dancing for us as well as your wife. The fake (I hope) macho 'I'm not here for you' comment makes you come across as an arrogant, douchebag with 0 self-awareness. But, I would challenge you as to why you wrote that? You know as well as we do that you want help - otherwise you wouldn't be here. Also, it was a test and you failed. …
/r/MarriedRedPill10/08/20 11:20 PM
2

No, you really need to stop because it won’t get you what you want. Also, it’s unattractive.
/r/MarriedRedPill05/08/20 08:10 AM
3

I know it's going to be hard to hear what's being said here but I really hope you can. I know it might seem like you are being 'attacked' but think about why it feels that way. Regardless of what you decide to do with your wife I have fixed your goals for you. Thank me when you don't end up in jail or don't. But keep in mind this is coming from someone who had a false DV charge from a fucking COP, and won, got separated from someone else with a kid and so far have avoided things she was legally …
/r/MarriedRedPill05/08/20 01:16 AM
2

I don't have anything really of value to offer here, you have given me some solid advice, it seems like you have to tools to move through this and keep growing. I like this: but ultimately made the decision that I could and would handle it. ​ I struggle with this too: I have real trouble letting any vulnerability show here At the start MRP gave me some power over my own life back and fuck that feels good, but now I am struggling to let go of the control. I'm not ready to accept that I may let go…
/r/MarriedRedPill05/08/20 01:04 AM
3

And this is not what I was after, but it is what I need. Thanks.
/r/MarriedRedPill05/08/20 12:44 AM
3

Still so many covert contracts. For example, my wife hit me with a comfort test before we went at it the other night. "I want to be more encouraging." I teased her, "You are encouraging - sometimes." It dawned on me today that I don't encourage her. I've been trying to strategically withhold encouragement until she takes the next steps in the bedroom or otherwise. It hit me like a title wave that encouraging her (properly, not manipulatively) might actually unlock the lionness I've been looking …
/r/MarriedRedPill04/08/20 10:57 PM
2

Use your inner desire to seek the type of feminine behavior and energy you enjoy. It is different for every man because every man wants a different degree and flavor of it to compliment his frame. In general - submissive, playful, pleasing, and teasing behavior is the groundwork for good feminine energy. Consider it a hobby to discover what you like and praise those particular behavior in her. This is awesome and exactly what I am after. It's the mental model I need to catch the fish so to speak…
/r/MarriedRedPill04/08/20 10:47 PM
3

This might be my last opportunity before I die, Wrong. Unless you are about to get a thyroid issue? Your whole social section is defeatist - what are three things you could do? Then do them and reassess at the end. If they are all middle-aged men who gives a shit. They are at the gym trying to improve themselves, I'm sure some will be interesting and if not then move onto the next activity.
/r/MarriedRedPill04/08/20 10:36 PM
3

OYS 32: Mid 30’s, 6’ 185lb, BF12%, Separated, one kid 3yrs (f) Week Goals meditation session 20min – 5/1 10 min meditation – 1/5 (did more 20min sessions) boundaries – good mobility – 70% intended sessions pomodoros 23/20 Reading: MMSLP, MAP, Side Bar, Unchained male, models, The Eagle and the Dragon, WOTSM, WISNIFG, The dating playbook for men, The subtle art of not giving a fuck, The Rational Male, Awareness, NMMNG(x2), sex god method, no more bad kids, Pook 30%, Meditation Book (40%), Physica…
/r/MarriedRedPill04/08/20 10:07 PM
1

Re your BF activities- I can’t remember where he goes next with them but I found taking the next step to address what I learned helped. So you are ashamed of/hide the above - what is one very small thing you can do to own it? Sounds like you are owning the sex, are you on your edge? Could you do something more? What about hobbies or actions your wife would not approve of? Pick something small and own it, watch your reaction with curiosity, learn, recalibrate and repeat.
/r/MarriedRedPill03/08/20 10:15 PM
1

You may be right but you want to be VERY sure you are not overestimating your hand here. The courts don’t (depending where you live) give a shit about the affair etc. sounds like you have spoken to a lawyer. I got three opinions and told one I would not be hiring them other than to fact check what I was being told. It’s not over yet for me but I have got what I want so far.
/r/MarriedRedPill03/08/20 09:53 PM
1

I can only tell you what I saw/did and my relationship ended so I guess take that into consideration in your thinking. But here are some pitfalls I now see I walked right into. I got resentful, I danced like a mother fucker and she still didn't reciprocate, here I was with veins in my abs (when I was lurking and LARPing...still LARPing), I had other girls hitting on me (outright asking to fuck me), I was level 10 betaing it up on the home-front and my ex still didn't want to fuck me like I wante…
/r/MarriedRedPill28/07/20 10:21 PM
2

One thing that I think would have helped me when I was still with my ex, is to realize I had made the decision to have sex in my life. Hopefully that was with her but if not then it would be with someone else. You will be having the sex you want, this is just short term. Still frustrating of course. But you will need up find a way to let go of the resentment if you want to make progress with your wife.
/r/MarriedRedPill28/07/20 09:36 AM
1

OYS 31: Mid 30’s, 6’ 188lb, BF13%, Separated, one kid 3yrs (f) Week Goals meditation session 20min – 4/1 10 min meditation – 5/5 Boundaries – good Mobility – 90% intended sessions Pomodoros 22/20 Porn before 26/07 – missed this one, removing it, I’m not concerned about porn at this point. Reading: MMSLP, MAP, Side Bar, Unchained male, models, The Eagle and the Dragon, WOTSM, WISNIFG, The dating playbook for men, The subtle art of not giving a fuck, The Rational Male, Awareness, NMMNG(x2), sex go…
/r/MarriedRedPill28/07/20 08:30 AM
2

"Why not". Seems like oneitis. If it is easy to cut it off, then it should be just as easy to not give her your commitment. I didn't explain this very well. I left my ex just over a year ago and have slept with a few people since then, I actually like this girl and would like to see where it goes. The 'why not' would be better framed as: if I like her, am I putting up barriers just because of my previous fears? I am not sleeping with anybody else at the moment and I'm not necessarily against bei…
/r/MarriedRedPill23/07/20 10:54 PM
2

I think it matters what type you get but the $10 amazon ones (like mine) do seem to have this problem.
/r/MarriedRedPill22/07/20 09:49 PM
4

Careful of overestimating how logical she will be in response to this. I am getting divorced and her ability to do things that make no sense for her because ‘emotions’ is astounding.
/r/MarriedRedPill22/07/20 10:09 AM
3

I got called out for LARPing my fatloss - it was 50% true, mostly I was settling with being better than average.... maybe that is the same thing as LARPing? I used Navy/pic method - get calipers - mine were $10. They are not great but they give me a hard number, I can't pretend either way and it's given me motivation to go further. Not 'am I happy with how I look' but target a number then see if I'm happy when I get there. Imagine the difference between: 'I lifted some weights today and felt mor…
/r/MarriedRedPill21/07/20 11:45 PM
2

I’m thinking I’ll need to go to around 80kg instead of 83kg if I want abs to really show I'm not sure your work out history but don't be surprised if you have to go quite a bit lower than you planned to really start getting the definition you are after. Most people significantly underestimate how much actual weight then need to lose to look cut. Me included. Finance/Career I have said it before, but I am 100% sure you will not beat the market with active trading. Low cost index fund unless you a…
/r/MarriedRedPill21/07/20 09:30 AM
3

OYS 30: Mid 30’s, 6’ 188lb, BF14%, Separated, one kid 3yrs (f) BF went up this week. Not sure if it’s because I ate lots of carbs yesterday and this morning and had shitty night sleep so it’s just water or if it legitimately went up, which would surprise me. I will add three cardio sessions this week and reassess next week. Week Goals meditation session 20min – 5/1 10 min meditation – 4/5 (changed this to 5 a week target) Boundaries – good Mobility – 95% intended sessions Pomodoros 23/20 Porn be…
/r/MarriedRedPill21/07/20 09:21 AM
1

I want to internalise that I am worthy regardless of what happens, hence I won't have this performance anxiety. Or I will have a healthy frame around it when shit happens. Yeah I get this, and I'm probably not the right person to question it all things considered. But, it seems this approach is coming at it from the wrong direction. Similar to my rationalizing it above, rather than I am imperfect and that is ok, it's approaching it from the perspective of I am ok in spite of my imperfections - w…
/r/MarriedRedPill15/07/20 10:33 PM
1

This and your comments u/Tyred_Biggums are fucking spot on. I'm rationalizing my way into my flaw not being a flaw rather than learning to be ok and deal with my imperfections - this one or others. That is a much better mental model. It links into that stress I said I was carrying around in my OYS, when I let go of the expectation that I will not have flaws/be perfect etc...fuck...the relief. I'm going to spend some time thinking on this.
/r/MarriedRedPill15/07/20 10:09 PM
1

struggling to fall asleep. Some things that have helped me: remember diet and not masturbating can both make sleep worse... carbs for dinner help me ear plugs Some supplements might help, ZMA, ashawangda, L-theanine no screens 1hr before bed consistent bed AND wake time HIIT during day Sunlight and nature during day TRT ​ somewhat attribute that to using the bathmate. Does that thing work? Did you call the three lawyers or decide you don't need to?
/r/MarriedRedPill15/07/20 04:21 AM
1

If you can rationalise it, go for your life but I doubt any of this self-talk is something new to you. I literally get an adrenalin dump, at that point rationalistic is pointless, however it is helpful in how I respond to not being hard. In the short term, I would suggest just cheating and using viagra/cialis the first few times I'm going to do this with new girls, mostly because condoms make it worse. If you have the internal plan to finger bang into PIV sex though, you may put yourself back in…
/r/MarriedRedPill15/07/20 04:10 AM
1

How many times a week are you meditating?
/r/MarriedRedPill15/07/20 04:02 AM
1

First...fuck you. Do your own work. Read it and put in your OYS if it was worth it. I might, but after reading these comments I think I need to focus more on myself, this is not actually about ED. Either way I'll look into it. Recommending books is pretty standard, seems reasonable to ask. So are you being authentic with your ED here? No, firstly it's happening because of inauthentic emotion, it is fear driven. I am not expressing my authentic desire, I am trying to hide my vulnerability rather …
/r/MarriedRedPill15/07/20 04:01 AM
1

Have lots of sex, get comfortable in your new life, it’ll sort itself out with time. I suspect this is probably true IF I can avoid taking it onboard as some comment on me being insufficient as a man etc.
/r/MarriedRedPill15/07/20 03:45 AM
1

Spot on - I have always lived in my head, and constantly looked for any sign of disapproval from others. Basically tried to hide away so nobody would notice. Then enter anxiety and depression. Surprisingly, this is probably the best I have been in a long time!
/r/MarriedRedPill15/07/20 03:44 AM
1

Sex is something that can go either way for me, when I'm in my frame and just doing what I want it works great, when I start second guessing it does not. I assume as I develop more the second guessing will happen less. Either way, I'll care less. With the Cialis, I will do that if its an ongoing issue. I am concerned it will allow me to avoid the issue rather than being forced to address it.
/r/MarriedRedPill15/07/20 03:40 AM
2

All of that makes sense, It 100% is in my head. I see it sort of as a barometer of my 'frame'. On a positive I just fucked her. I got the normal Adrenalin dump and got pissed at myself. She was good about it, I got over it, I touched her because I wanted to, I got hard and didn't immediately try to put it in her, I just noticed that I was hard and might go soft and enjoyed being hard, then I fucked her.
/r/MarriedRedPill15/07/20 03:37 AM
3

OYS 29: Mid 30’s, 6’ 187lb, BF13%, Separated, one kid 3yrs (f) BF - I took 5 measurements for each site and used the average in a 3point Jackson calculator. I did it in the morning before breakfast so not sure if that throws the results. I weight myself in the morning after having a piss. Week Goals meditation session 20min – 2/1 10 min meditation – 3/5 (changed this to 5 a week target) Boundaries – good Mobility – 70% intended sessions Pomodoros 21/20 Porn before 26/07 – no Reading: MMSLP, MAP,…
/r/MarriedRedPill14/07/20 08:39 AM
1

I think we're close but with one distinction: I said do things that bring you feelings of worth. And if something is bringing you worth, it's adding value to you. You're receiving value. I don't think I was close, thinking about what brings ME value Vs what I can do to BE of value (even if it's to myself, those values are mostly set by society) feels different. How then can you exist and be happy with who you are? I have a few thoughts here. They are not in a cohesive mental model: I suspect thi…
/r/MarriedRedPill08/07/20 11:51 PM
1

Will keep that in mind.
/r/MarriedRedPill07/07/20 10:23 PM
2

Thanks, I just checked out some of the videos. Look like some better alternatives for me.
/r/MarriedRedPill07/07/20 10:21 PM
1

I’m struggling with this, ultimately to myself. But I’m still not the man I want to be and I’m trying to side step this by just installing a general sense of worthiness independent of other things. maybe I don’t actually want this as deep down I will always know I don’t yet value myself. As I walk further on this path I’m becoming more comfortable with not yet being who I want to be but that I am putting in the effort and get a sense of worthyness from that. To link back into a comment you made …
/r/MarriedRedPill07/07/20 10:20 PM
1

OYS 28: Mid 30’s, 6’ 187lb, BF14.5%, Separated, one kid 3yrs (f) Week Goals meditation session 20min – 3/1 10 min meditation – 3/5 (changed this to 5 a week target) Boundaries – good Mobility – 100% intended sessions Pomodoros 20/20 ≤ 2 cups per day 2/7 – failing on this one – removing for now to focus on other things. Porn before 26/07 – no Reading: MMSLP, MAP, Side Bar, Unchained male, models, The Eagle and the Dragon, WOTSM, WISNIFG, The dating playbook for men, The subtle art of not giving a…
/r/MarriedRedPill07/07/20 11:37 AM
2

This is mixed, I've been taking care of some stuff that was way behind, but I'm still failing on discipline in terms of focused work. Often I am feeling too depressed to work, and just want to take a nap. I had/have this too, some things that might help: check T, I don't want to assume it will help everybody just because it helped me but the MENTAL benefits are what I have noticed, more energy, no generalized feeling of 'fatigue', drive etc. u/Tyred_Biggums is right, you get stuck in a cycle, yo…
/r/MarriedRedPill02/07/20 09:49 PM
1

Re finances - low cost index funds is all you need to know. 'Trading' is a 0 sum game which means there has to be a loser, don't be an idiot and think you will beat people who do this for a living with the support of other people who also do it for a living. Even they dont beat the market. So everything is telling me I should start meditating. Yes, do it, start with an app/guided to learn then do it without if you can. I haven’t had the most luck on Tinder (which I loathe) These two are related.…
/r/MarriedRedPill02/07/20 12:24 PM
1

I am still struggling to swallow that pill.
/r/MarriedRedPill01/07/20 07:47 AM
2

Literally none of what you wrote here matters. Is speaking to a divorce lawyer something you need to do? That is the only question you need to ‘answer’. The answer is allowed to be ‘in x time’. Then if you get fucked because you didn’t speak to one that is the consequence of your actions. Don’t think you need to talk to one just because lots of people here did it, decide what’s right for your situation.
/r/MarriedRedPill01/07/20 12:25 AM
3

TRT changed my life, there are minimal risks (depending how you use it of course). My levels were all quite average, well within the ‘normal’ range. Try it and see if it works, if it doesn’t then come off it. Why are you on the fence about it? For me it sorted the general ‘fatigue’ I felt. I would take it any day over phentermine from a health perspective. BUT, I am not a Dr etc.
/r/MarriedRedPill30/06/20 09:25 PM
3

Horns is right, unless you are literally not allowed to leave the house then you are just making excuses. It’s worth looking into where the resistance is coming from, I felt shitty when I did it. I felt like I was betraying her, that I might get caught etc but mostly I felt shit because deep down I knew why I was calling. When I made that first call I had to acknowledge that I knew the relationship was probably going to end.
/r/MarriedRedPill30/06/20 09:14 PM
1

Good to hear, u/easydayshardnights had some solid advice on the same thread blarg comments on, might be worth reading.
/r/MarriedRedPill30/06/20 09:05 PM
5

I’ll try to find 3 opportunities to do that consult to try and understand my situation. You'll 'try' and find three opportunities? Do you even OYS bro? I use that language too and I'm trying to cut it out, don't tell some randoms on the internet you are going to try and do something as basic as call three lawyers, just do it. If you want the accountability then put it as a weekly goal dotpoint up the top of your OYS.
/r/MarriedRedPill30/06/20 10:06 AM
3

Turned her down gently last night because I didn’t want the starfish she was offering. Just held her. Do you have a plan to lead her to what you want? Or did you reject her and feel you had taken some control back?
/r/MarriedRedPill30/06/20 10:02 AM
1

Thanks, I decided to go with GZCL this time. Which from what I can tell is based on 5/3/1. The BBB 5/3/1 variant looks solid, probably what I’ll do next. Looks like a fair bit of volume, how long do the workouts take you?
/r/MarriedRedPill30/06/20 09:15 AM
4

OYS 27: Mid 30’s, 6’ 186lb, BF15%, Separated, one kid 3yrs (f) Got calipers and tested body fat, as far as I can tell I am ~15%. Annoyingly the calipers are a bit unreliable for now they give me something to work from. Week Goals meditation session 20min – 3/1 10 min meditation – 6/7 Boundaries – good Mobility –90% intended sessions Pomodoros 24/20 ≤ 2 cups per day 2/7 – failing on this one Reviewed/printed WISNIFG summary – Done Porn before 26/07? Reading: MMSLP, MAP, Side Bar, Unchained male, …
/r/MarriedRedPill30/06/20 08:38 AM
1

becoming ok with expressing your true self to the world, comes when you unapologetically do the things that bring you feelings of worth. This is key for me, I'm working on it but I'm struggling to see past all my mental bullshit to know what actually does bring me feelings of worth etc. Still, making steady progress here.
/r/MarriedRedPill26/06/20 06:34 AM
1

Thanks for the reply, I appreciate the info. Rehab is priority for now then I need to pull my finger out and decide on one goal and go after it.
/r/MarriedRedPill25/06/20 04:35 AM
1

What do you think of two sets of 5 then one to failure on upper body lifts? E.g. the other day I did bench, 190*5,5,9 - I probably had one shitty quality rep after 9.
/r/MarriedRedPill24/06/20 09:39 PM
1

Sounds like you have a solid plan, now it’s just time. I personally like to add hill sprints/Metcon to help with the fat loss but the diet and lifting will get you 90%. I’m still getting validation from women so it’s no judgement but if you come from a place of self improvement for you rather than others you’ll get further. Don’t confuse that with not wanting to bang hotties - we all want that.
/r/MarriedRedPill24/06/20 04:23 AM
1

Helping raise my kids? Not so much... When you figure that one out let me know.
/r/MarriedRedPill24/06/20 12:05 AM
1

However it’s still shut down at this time, so I plan on doing what I can myself. What is your current focus physically? I think most people get the best results by initially cutting if they are fat and then building muscle. From the tone of your post it sounds like you are just doing some physical activity (which is great - keep at it) and hoping for the best. Set a goal, you're fat so probably to be sub x% bf, then see adjusting your diet as the primary way of address this this with exercise as…
/r/MarriedRedPill24/06/20 12:01 AM
1

A real try hard blue boy. I could just be projecting here but are you sure you're fine with it?
/r/MarriedRedPill23/06/20 11:42 PM
1

Where the fuck are your lifts? You talk like you don’t lift! If you do lift... you talk like you stop about 5 reps short of failure because you are so afraid of the barbell. Currently I'm focusing on fixing a few injury's (which seems to be going well). So I reduced my lifts and am stopping short of failure. Currently: OHP: 130 3*6 BP: 190 3*5 Squat: not doing due to knee DL: 220 3*6 Are you thinking about digging your Dead Puppy out of its grave to play with it? You want to, don’t you!? Yes tha…
/r/MarriedRedPill23/06/20 11:00 PM
1

It's half LARPing and half that I'm not that concerned with it. BF is not a big issue for me, I'm quite happy with how I look with my shirt off, I have abs and would be in the top 5-10% of people I see at the pool (or did when it was open). Recently saw a new girl and when I took my shirt off she said 'holy shit, you're huge'... I'm only 185lb so not huge but when you're not fat it looks good. But to address the 50% that is LARPing - just ordered some. Strangely enough, you saying I'm LARPing at…
/r/MarriedRedPill23/06/20 10:22 PM
4

OYS 26: Mid 30’s, 6’ 186lb, BF? Will get it tested when able, Separated, one kid 3yrs (f) Week Goals meditation session 20min – 2/1 10 min meditation – 2/7 Boundaries – good Mobility –80% intended sessions Pomodoros 20/20 ≤ 2 cups per day 4/7 Next week I will have reviewed WISNIFG techniques and printed a summary. Reading: MMSLP, MAP, Side Bar, Unchained male, models, The Eagle and the Dragon, WOTSM, WISNIFG, The dating playbook for men, The subtle art of not giving a fuck, The Rational Male, Aw…
/r/MarriedRedPill23/06/20 08:46 AM
1

Thanks, that’s a good point, I need to keep awareness of that.
/r/MarriedRedPill22/06/20 10:51 AM
3

Thanks, will do.
/r/askTRP20/06/20 01:00 AM
1

It’s more that I don’t want the drama of having to explain things to her and seeing if she still wants to fuck. Either she does or doesn’t but that could be my ego getting in the way of things.
/r/askTRP20/06/20 01:00 AM
1

Yes it does. In the past I had the metaphorical child services called on me and I’m letting my fear of that drive my actions now.
/r/MarriedRedPill19/06/20 10:54 PM
1

Would also like to know how you organize yourself/notes using onenote. I know everybody's system is different but sounds like you have a solid one sorted out.
/r/MarriedRedPill18/06/20 06:09 AM
1

I know, I keep having to remind myself to see it as entertaining and get on with my life. I still fail a lot at that but I 'think' I'm improving.
/r/MarriedRedPill17/06/20 02:10 AM
1

Your ex has no power over you anymore. Try to find entertainment in her hissy fits. When I remember this, it's much better. I think one of the issues, apart from 0 frame, is she does still have some power. If she cooperates we could reduce court costs significantly. If she fights and tries to move interstate it will be expensive and she may unlikely) be allowed. So far I have been able to get myself in a good legal position by managing all of this but as some point I have to let that go and just…
/r/MarriedRedPill17/06/20 02:09 AM
1

OYS 25: Mid 30’s, 6’ 186lb, BF? Will get it tested when able, Separated, one kid 3yrs (f) Week Goals meditation session 20min – 0/1 10 min meditation – 4/7 Boundaries – good Mobility –80% intended sessions No porn – 8/8 weeks - done Pomodoros 17/20/5 ≤ 2 cups per day 4/7 Reading: MMSLP, Pook, MAP, Side Bar, Unchained male, models, The Eagle and the Dragon, WOTSM, WISNIFG, The dating playbook for men, The subtle art of not giving a fuck, The Rational Male, Awareness, NMMNG (twice), Meditation Boo…
/r/MarriedRedPill16/06/20 09:56 AM
1

Thanks, I can relate to this I’ll keep doing the work.
/r/MarriedRedPill16/06/20 07:58 AM
1

Thanks for this comment, you are spot on. look at the comments on my last 6 or 7 OYS's Will do. I follow your OYS as I can relate to a lot of the issue you bring up. I am inadequate "just the way I am" Yeah I still can't shake this. I am getting better but I was just writing in this weeks OYS, I need 'something wrong with me' to justify any needs or anything that's not perfect. It's not ok to just need something or to just have something wrong with you. I don't want to be a man who has to rely o…
/r/MarriedRedPill14/06/20 10:48 PM
1

Well I guess there is my first problem, I can't stand alone and find full contentment yet. One of the things I realized last week was that I'm seeking a mission, and everything really, from a place of need. I feel like I am missing something and I'm trying to fill that with something external. What needs a relationship fulfills; I like the intimacy with another person, the trust we develop, having someone for company, support, the feminine energy. I'm vary aware some (most?) of those are due to …
/r/MarriedRedPill11/06/20 10:01 PM
1

Because I probably want one in my life and can do things to get it. When I want something else in my life that’s how I approach it. I don’t mean compromising myself for it like I use and still do but it is something I want. I want the connection with another person, I like the intimacy and depth. Having said all that, I understand (sort of) the dangers of putting that goal above others and that really a relationship is an emergent property of living your life in a certain way. As you can probabl…
/r/MarriedRedPill11/06/20 12:09 AM
1

Thanks, sounds like what I need. Might wait a bit to sort some other things before I read it.
/r/MarriedRedPill10/06/20 10:59 PM
2

I appreciate the suggestion. For me, the issue is in my head, I have plenty of friends, it's easy to find girls with apps (I never had these when I was single in the past!) but I fall into the thought pattern of 'nobody will love me for me', waa waa etc. I think it's very ego driven as well as some practical components. My plan is: Keep killing the ego Keep building my internal validation Regular activity with men - something where we work together would help Learning more about RP so I have som…
/r/MarriedRedPill10/06/20 10:15 PM
1

I don't have my T quite sorted yet but I think it can be hard to understand the difference it makes. It was like night and day when I first started, improved my mental well-being probably 2 fold. Reduced anxiety, improved drive and optimism, I started having periods of consistent 'joy 'in my life for the first time in about 7 years etc. I'm typing this out for when you read other peoples OYS, low T is more common than its made out to be and while I'm still fucking around trying to get mine right…
/r/MarriedRedPill10/06/20 10:00 PM
1

The Dr I go to is a specialist in TRT and advises putting it on balls. I have researched it 'a bit' and that was the same conclusion I come to but I'm not a Dr. I know the initial studies were done using T gel which uses alcohol as the solvent - unpleasant to put on your balls. But like I said, I'm not a Dr so basically going off Dr google.
/r/MarriedRedPill10/06/20 09:47 PM
1

Started 12 weeks ago. It worked great for me, I noticed dramatic mental improvements starting 2-3 weeks in and peaking after 1-2months. I had levels checked and they were high, I'm just using the cream in the morning on my balls. I am looking into whats going on now, but suspect it's my own head rather than the cream. I have blood test to do in August to check in with Dr so will see if I wait until then.
/r/MarriedRedPill10/06/20 05:45 AM
1

Loneliness is a feeling. Isolation is a disorder. Solitude is a blessing. I like this. It's all in my head. I have a few close male friends, most are pretty BP but that's pretty standard. My problem is I get all cut up that nobody loves me, nobody accepts me just for 'me' , I'm all on my own, etc all that crap. I think my ego is at play here. I have often felt this way in the past and the thing that helped most was some of the Buddhist teachings. They are often wrapped in so much crap though whi…
/r/MarriedRedPill09/06/20 10:04 PM
1

Thanks, limiting my reaction is key. I just keep in mind how this will look to the judge. Find something you enjoy doing, doesn't matter what. Ideally with a friend. Booked in for today and another on Sunday!
/r/MarriedRedPill09/06/20 09:59 PM
1

I keep catching myself looking for external validation in more sneaky ways. I'm trying to catch this as it happens but also replace it with internal validation. How would you phrase what you want from a relationship? I'm struggling to figure this one out because the reality is, I would like a relationship, and I want it to be loving and fulfilling... however I don't want to compromise myself for it. My hobbies are all outdoors things that I do recreationaly, hiking, kayaking etc. I think I need …
/r/MarriedRedPill09/06/20 09:55 PM
1

I started T cream a while ago and after a few weeks started feeling great, increased drive, overall well-being etc, that has slowly been decreasing and this past week was at a low. I'm not sure if there is something going on with the T or if it's the current life circumstances. I have always lacked 'drive' so I'm guessing it's the latter. I am going to be looking into this over the next few weeks but I'm struggling to separate stress from trial etc from actual motivation/thoughts.
/r/MarriedRedPill09/06/20 09:46 PM
3

These breaking free activities are a bit weak. I am focused on short term at the moment, and I don’t think now is the time to take on something like ‘starting a new business/career etc’ this made it hard to actually dig deep and see what I thought of these things. Having said that, two key things jumped out at me. I have two key underlying fears that drive a lot of other issue in my life: I am not good enough I am not worth while Breaking Free Activity # 40: Review list and identify tangible fea…
/r/MarriedRedPill09/06/20 08:43 AM
7

OYS 24: Mid 30’s, 6’ 186lb, BF? Will get it tested when able, Separated, one kid 3yrs (f) Week Goals meditation session 20min – 3/1 10 min meditation – 2/7 Boundaries – good Mobility –89% intended sessions No porn – 7/8 weeks Pomodoros 2/5 ≤ 2 cups per day 4/7 Reading: NMMNG, MMSLP, Pook, MAP, Side Bar, Unchained male, models, The Eagle and the Dragon, WOTSM, WISNIFG, The dating playbook for men, The subtle art of not giving a fuck, The Rational Male, Awareness, Meditation Book (40%), NMMNG (95%…
/r/MarriedRedPill09/06/20 08:41 AM
2

Here are a few things that have helped me: System wide: Cardio - yes its gay, yes it helps with stress. I find it helps more than lifting. Ideally, lift then add a 'finisher'. Or do cardio on off days. Either way, HIIT or 20min at a decent pace helps reduce overall stress. If you are thinking about things that stress you, you are not working hard enough. Meditation Getting into nature Time alone Have a life - socialize, hobbies etc. Sounds strange but you need a complete life, it gives you break…
/r/MarriedRedPill03/06/20 06:37 AM
3

For anybody new and considering this, as HOA said - reconsider. You think you will get some power back, you wont. You will be full of covert contracts, you are still dancing and you will be buthurt. You will not be far enough along to actually have OI and abundance and to be able to handle this in an attractive way. You will most likely just confirm that your wife is your only source of sexual gratification and hand her more power. Develop OI, abundance and the fun playful attitude in the relati…
/r/MarriedRedPill02/06/20 10:03 PM
1

I really like seeing how things fit into the big picture, this just showed me how WISNIFG fits in. Thanks.
/r/MarriedRedPill02/06/20 09:55 PM
2

understand that what I'm looking to do here is not get you to a better place so you can build a better car. I want you better informed so you can be a better driver of the car known as "You." ... Getting "directionally correct momentum" Make sense? Yes - this just clicked in place for me, I have been balancing this tension of 'becoming myself' and 'changing myself', now I see how to approach this. So, my plan: Understand that I am learning how to drive myself better, not redesign myself, althoug…
/r/MarriedRedPill02/06/20 09:53 PM
2

Very helpful the only thing is that I feel almost like I get ‘led’ into his thoughts on what the answers should be. Next time I do them I might just do the activities without reading the book. For now though reading the book is working.
/r/MarriedRedPill02/06/20 09:22 AM
2

Breaking Free Activity # 36: How is your love life? It is ok, but I want to get in my own body more, fear rejection less, be more comfortable with myself and what I want, more comfortable putting that out into the world and having someone not want/like it and for that to be ok. Breaking Free Activity # 37: Talk about the following issues. Sexual history – The first time was with someone more experienced, I didn’t tell her I was a virgin. I lost my erection while stuffing around with the condom. …
/r/MarriedRedPill02/06/20 08:46 AM
3

OYS 23: Mid 30’s, 6’ 187lb, BF? Will get it tested when able, Separated, one kid 3yrs (f) Week Goals meditation session 20min – 5/1 10 min meditation – 6/7 Boundaries – good Mobility –100% intended sessions No porn – 6/8 weeks Pomodoros 21/20 ≤ 2 cups per day 5/7 Reading: NMMNG, MMSLP, Pook, MAP, Side Bar, Unchained male, models, The Eagle and the Dragon, WOTSM, WISNIFG, The dating playbook for men, The subtle art of not giving a fuck, The Rational Male, Awareness, Meditation Book (40%), NMMNG (…
/r/MarriedRedPill02/06/20 08:46 AM
1

Thanks for taking the time to write this out, it really helped me understand another couple of pieces in this puzzle. Several things jumped out at me. You have down-regulated into a low energy state and your subconscious has already pronounced you "insufficient to the task." If it thought you were sufficient ... it would have already provided you the Energy needed in the form of Anger. To get Anger ... you have to BELIEVE that you can overcome the problem. I think this is an important piece for …
/r/MarriedRedPill31/05/20 10:48 PM
3

This is awesome, I would love to read part two.
/r/MarriedRedPill28/05/20 07:40 AM
1

One of the benefits of reading OYS is you see someone articulate something you were struggling with more clearly than it is in your own head and and then you see an answer for it. The truth that we are alone in everything except our shared experiences. This really helped me.
/r/MarriedRedPill27/05/20 09:40 PM
9

I find it really helpful to see guys progress here, how mrp actually ended up playing out in their life. It is especially helpful when you can see the progress over time. Thanks for posting.
/r/MarriedRedPill26/05/20 09:53 PM
3

Thanks for the input. She doesn't say them face to face anymore BUT she has put them in numerous text messages (why the fuck would you do that?) she has also put in text that if I call mental health services for her she will 'call services on you too'. I have provided all these to the lawyer and we have included in the court application. When this gets lodged she is absolutely going to blow up so I have no idea what she will do however with those messages she is in a difficult place if she does …
/r/MarriedRedPill26/05/20 09:37 PM
1

Oh man the fucking begging.... when I first started reading here I realized this behaviors was bad as it would make her not respect me, then I realized it was bad because it made me not respect myself. On a side-note, I read your field report a little while ago, it's really helpful to see someones progress and how they started as a faggot just like the rest of us. It's so easy to think everybody else had their shit more figured out.
/r/MarriedRedPill26/05/20 09:32 PM
2

Breaking Free Activity # 31: Identify the ways in which she helps you recreate familiar relationship patterns from childhood. My needs don’t matter, my pain doesn’t matter, weakness is not ok, it’s not safe to be around other people when they are angry – they will remove love. I feel safe when I’m not the center of attention. These relationship dynamics help me avoid having and having to express my needs. I don’t feel safe having/expressing needs because they might be rejected and that would mea…
/r/MarriedRedPill26/05/20 09:04 AM
1

OYS 22: Mid 30’s, 6’ 187lb, BF? Will get it tested when able, Separated, one kid 3yrs (f) Week Goals meditation session 20min – 1/1 10 min meditation – 6/7 Boundaries – good Mobility –14/14 No porn – 5/8 weeks Pomodoros 20/20 ≤ 2 cups per day 5/7 Added to limit coffee because anxiety has been an issue so reducing the amount of fuel I’m adding to the fire. Reading: NMMNG, MMSLP, Pook, MAP, Side Bar, Unchained male, models, The Eagle and the Dragon, WOTSM, WISNIFG, The dating playbook for men, The…
/r/MarriedRedPill26/05/20 09:03 AM
1

Thanks, either way it seems to help my sleep so I guess that says something about needing more.
/r/MarriedRedPill24/05/20 12:09 AM
1

I think I have a fear of attention and success. It’s easier for me to fail which supports the narrative since I was young that I have little worth. This helped me. I have something going on here too that I don't understand yet. I also feel anxiety about looking at any responses I receive to my OYS. I think most people feel this at the start. I certainly do. Sometimes I'll catch myself wanting to exclude something or bury it in text. When I catch myself I put it in a promenade place then just let…
/r/MarriedRedPill23/05/20 02:22 AM
1

I have been practicing 'loving kindness' towards myself but probably time to give gratitude a go. In the past I have found good benefit from both and agree, it's like your brain can't have both. They seem to be mutually exclusive. even in this admittedly shallow example Doesn't seem shallow, its the little things added up that decide who you are, not the big one offs... and if you manage the little things right then you're in a good spot for the one offs.
/r/MarriedRedPill23/05/20 01:33 AM
1

Thanks, will do. If I am eating a relatively balanced diet, plenty of meat, some fish, sardines, plenty of veg would I not be getting plenty of zinc and magnesium?
/r/MarriedRedPill23/05/20 01:24 AM
2

I still let other people's expectations control me so you might want to listen to more experienced men here. Seeing as we are swapping notes, I'll give you mine. I have been told a few times that I'm trying to find narratives to follow and its spot on, now it's the MRP narrative over societies (although I still try and follow both really...) I had a quick look at your last OYS and you seem to be the same. You want to be Marcus Aurelius - I get it, we all want to be a stoic emperor badasses but m…
/r/MarriedRedPill21/05/20 11:23 PM
1

To be honest I can't really know, I suspect 'all of the above'. T-Cream helped, leaving a shitty relationship, and 'doing the work' has really helped. Also, I have been implementing things in my life that help me feel this way e.g. exercise in nature, time alone, mediation, cutting alcohol etc. I also only get it fleeting. I don't think I did always feel it, I think I had more regular fleeting moments because I had less 'baggage' in life but I was still controlled by all the same dis-empowering …
/r/MarriedRedPill21/05/20 06:40 AM
1

Putting my fist through the wall and going to jail Shit, jail seems a bit over the top for putting a fist through the wall.... I get the angry at myself bit, so often I'm pissed but really I'm pissed that I'm being a whinny little bitch and not changing anything. I'm still not defusing it in the moment, I'll pay attention to this as I think it's a habit I will have to instill over time. Thanks for the input. **Edit: I thought more about this: I have conditioned myself not to feel anger because i…
/r/MarriedRedPill21/05/20 06:34 AM
2

The difficulty with this is you can't control when you will sign 3 contracts and it is a lag indicator. Right now I'm also tracking time spent 'on task' because my flaw was not doing enough deep work. ALSO, I'm looking at results and if I dont achieve the results I want then I will change what I do during that time on task.
/r/MarriedRedPill19/05/20 09:59 PM
1

Thanks, as below, it's helpful to have people let you know you are going in the right direction. Is there anything in particular that helped with the anger bit? Part of me thinks it's actually less about anger and more about everything else, that the anger is just another authentic emotion I am scared of expressing because I'm uncomfortable with all my emotions, scared if I express myself I will have love withdrawn etc. But another part of me thinks part of my apathy in life is my inability to e…
/r/MarriedRedPill19/05/20 09:45 PM
1

Keep up the OYS, that has been key for me (and everybody). I went through NMMNG once before and read the MRP sidebar/books etc. I thought I was doing it, I was not. I get three things from the OYS; accountability, course corrections and some encouragement. The reality is we all start off lost here, I still am, and occasionally having someone further down the path yell out that you're going in the right direction is very helpful. And you know it's not someone giving you a participation award so y…
/r/MarriedRedPill19/05/20 09:39 PM
7

Breaking Free Activity # 23: Notice how you back up from boundaries/avoid conflict/try to keep the peace. Watch when you say yes when you would rather say no. I do this all the time, I let boundaries be walked all over, often I justify this by saying how it will make my life better and sometimes this is true but it also shows I negotiate with terrorists. I didn’t pay enough attention to this and so I have added it to my daily actions for 2.5 weeks. Breaking Free Activity # 24: How have you consc…
/r/MarriedRedPill19/05/20 09:58 AM
11

OYS 21: Mid 30’s, 6’ 187lb, BF? Will get it tested when able, Separated, one kid 3yrs (f) Week Goals meditation session 20min – 3/1 10 min meditation – 6/7 Boundaries – good Mobility –10/11 No porn for four weeks – done. Extending by another four weeks. Pomodoros 25/20 Reading: NMMNG, MMSLP, Pook, MAP, Side Bar, Unchained male, models, The Eagle and the Dragon, WOTSM, WISNIFG, The dating playbook for men, The subtle art of not giving a fuck, The Rational Male, Awareness, Meditation Book (40%), N…
/r/MarriedRedPill19/05/20 09:57 AM
1

It seems clear what you will do, why are you unsure?
/r/MarriedRedPill12/05/20 10:24 PM
2

Thanks for the input. I am terrified of criticism, as a kid I would feel intense shame whenever I was criticized, now I feel similar but a slightly more adult version. There is something more here that I can't quite pull apart. I almost feel like any attention is 'dangerous' that a criticism is aimed at the very heart of who I am. I will journal and think on it to try and understand this better as I think it's linked with my fear of failure. I remember a friend I had, very low levels of self awa…
/r/MarriedRedPill12/05/20 10:22 PM
2

Re parenting; u/ChemaCB recommended Janet Lansbury and it has upped my parenting game significantly. I try and listen to 2 podcasts a week and implement what I learn. Not everything she says resonates with me but most of it is pretty good and spending the time driving incremental improvement in this area made me realize I was not owning my shit, I was just trying to be a 'good Dad' without putting in the work - a trait we both share. I didn't take my 3yo expressing this preference repeatedly as …
/r/MarriedRedPill12/05/20 10:14 PM
1

Yeah I think the dopamine hit was getting me, I notice myself wanting it when I’m feeling down. Do you think it helped with the libido but took a long time or was that other things?
/r/MarriedRedPill12/05/20 11:35 AM
1

How do you manage plates while living next to ex? Do you just say you can’t go back to yours?
/r/MarriedRedPill12/05/20 10:40 AM
1

Why have you cut it out? Do you notice any benefits?
/r/MarriedRedPill12/05/20 09:59 AM
2

Breaking Free Activity 18: Identify a gift you initially resisted, any gifts you need to surrender to right now. Initially: basically all failure/hardship. Ray Dalio said pain + reflection = growth. Friends in high school, trial, etc. Many things I can think of. Now: Ex shitiness, this is an opportunity for me to practice and grow so I can become the man I want to be and have what I want in my life. Breaking Free Activity 19: One area where you routinely feel frustrated or out of control. Are yo…
/r/MarriedRedPill12/05/20 08:56 AM
1

OYS 20: Mid 30’s, 6’ 190lb, ~13%BF (Navy method), Separated, one kid 3yrs (f) Week Goals meditation session 20min – 1/1 10 min meditation – 6/7 Boundaries – good Mobility –100% of intended sessions No porn for four weeks – three week done I will start reporting Pomodoro’s done, I’m aiming for 20. Re Porn: I have noticed my fantasies are more ‘erotic’ and less extreme. I think the porn was having a negative effect on me that I didn’t notice and moving me away from what was erotic and felt good to…
/r/MarriedRedPill12/05/20 08:55 AM
4

Thanks, this helped me reconcile the fact that I clearly am faking it (not just game, life) at this point but that ‘faking it’ feels more authentic than my natural actions which are just deeply trained covert contracts. I didn’t have a good mental model for dealing with this transition but I think this is it.
/r/MarriedRedPill09/05/20 10:49 PM
1

Thanks for helping me with this. I have been struggling to see how the individual mental models I'm working on come together to help with something like 'I feel like crying at Bambi today'. This has brought a lot of individual pieces together for me and gives me some motivation for addressing the various incorrect mental models.
/r/MarriedRedPill07/05/20 09:21 PM
2

So, I have my authentic self that has needs etc. I believe the world works in a certain way but my ego has had too much say in this, now I have mental models which are wrong and have formed my view of reality around what protects myself rather than what is reality. The ego continues to protect itself by reinterpreting reality in a way that aligns with its/my current mental models. Then I push my (often unconscious) authentic self wants through the ego and out into the world and present all sorts…
/r/MarriedRedPill07/05/20 07:24 AM
1

“I’m fearful due to what happened with [stbx] so am still guarded. This is going to bite me in the ass if it continues. I need to live in the present and authentic in my actions. I can and will walk away if there is any bullshit.” I just realized this is me too. I think on some level I still doubt my ability to just walk away and am therefor scared of getting in too deep. Time here will fix that.
/r/MarriedRedPill06/05/20 09:30 PM
1

Thanks for your reply, I have read it about 5 times because I think this a key piece I'm missing. I am struggling to express (or think) my thoughts clearly on this so bear with me. Am I wrong in breaking this into two parts? Response in relationships - the cycle you mention above where I seek care from others because I'm feeling 'insert negative emotion'. General mood - I feel like some days I just feel shit and get overwhelmed by everything. For point 2, I do things like use TCream, break tasks…
/r/MarriedRedPill06/05/20 06:20 AM
1

Re weight loss, hill sprints and metcon workouts are great. If you are relatively untrained they can put a small amount of muscle on but at the least you won't lose muscle (if you are eating enough/properly). Just work them in slowly, don't go and run 10 hill sprints at 100% first go...or do and call it a learning experience. Also, you can try fasts, I don't know enough about your background but when I'm cutting I try and do one 24hr fast a week and get some exercise in that day (normally I got …
/r/MarriedRedPill06/05/20 05:48 AM
2

Validation + (BF#8): I made a blank profile on ‘seeking arrangements’ basically it’s young hot (although some are neither) women looking for guys and ranges from ‘looking for a weekly allowance’ to ‘have your shit together’. Either way, I was not looking seriously, didn’t message anybody etc but thought if I do want to fuck a hot 19year old this might be an easy way and it was part of the validation experiment. I found myself falling much more into the validation or insecurity trap than I had wi…
/r/MarriedRedPill05/05/20 09:00 AM
1

OYS 19: Mid 30’s, 6’ 190lb, ~13%BF (Navy method), Separated, one kid 3yrs (f) Week Goals One meditation session 20min – 4 10 min meditation – 7/7 Boundaries – 9/10 Mobility –100% of intended sessions No porn for four weeks – two week done Reading: NMMNG, MMSLP, Pook, MAP, Side Bar, Unchained male, models, The Eagle and the Dragon, WOTSM, WISNIFG, The dating playbook for men, The subtle art of not giving a fuck, The Rational Male, Awareness, Meditation Book (40%), NMMNG (40%), Stop walking on egg…
/r/MarriedRedPill05/05/20 08:58 AM
1

There is a very good chance that you will get overwhelmed by everything you've been bottling up I'm struggling to 'feel' it, I think I reflexively withdraw form the emotion and go into detached protector mode that I don't know how to actually identity with it. My plan is to journal, keep a list of prompts/issues to work throuhg and spend some time alone in nature thinking about it. Regarding comparisons, I remember when I was on trial, my friends would complain then said 'but that's nothing comp…
/r/MarriedRedPill30/04/20 02:57 AM
1

I think it was too much soap, sweat, exercise, and kayaking with by dick basically sitting in dirty river water for a few hours. Test results all clear, annoyingly they didn't put HSV-2 on bloods (about 90% of people with it are asymptomatic) so I dont know for sure I dont have it, but I know the 'sores' were not herpes.
/r/MarriedRedPill29/04/20 06:59 AM
1

I'm trying to use it to scare myself a bit. If it comes back positive I'll move into positive mode...after a bit. But for now I want to let this scare me to help change my behavior. I plan to fuck a lot more women so I better make sure I am militant about condoms or I will end up with something.
/r/MarriedRedPill29/04/20 12:37 AM
2

My post replies are doing strange things so not sure where this will end up. Shit. You are correct. I think this as "giving no fucks" go hand-in-hand. It is hard to take 10 years of dedication and love and say "fuck it". I'm not sure how to do this. I already told you, be a person. Build a life and figure out who you want to be. That should take 90% of your headspace and naturally pushes out the rest. Again, I can't actually do this but I am getting there. I get it, now is a shit time, I remembe…
/r/MarriedRedPill29/04/20 12:25 AM
3

Exactly why you should be cautions of my advice, I can't even use reddit.
/r/MarriedRedPill28/04/20 11:51 PM
2

I try not to offer too much advice because... well read my OYS and you will see. But when I see another person getting divorced I think my experience could help inform their actions. Firstly, I hope you really try to understand what has been said by the other posts here. They are right. Secondly, there are not 856,000 issues here, there is only one (sure it has 400 sub issues but just work with me on it), the issue is YOU are not a person. It doesn't matter if you are with your wife or not, you …
/r/MarriedRedPill28/04/20 10:45 PM
1

Thanks for the sleep tips, I'll add them to my 'try' list. struggle with this. Its easy to get caught in an emotional loop and circle on some memory for hours or days at a time. Right now my method for getting out of these is talking to someone else about it: you, my parents, my sister, etc. I look a lot to other people to tell me what to think/feel so I'm trying to avoid seeking them out too much. Having said that, I have a friend who is still quite BP but less so than average and generally has…
/r/MarriedRedPill28/04/20 10:27 PM
1

You're still so caught up in a narrative. Society's narrative, the stable family narrative, MRP's narrative. You compare yourself to everyone else and I relate so hard to that. It's very difficult not to when youve emersed yourself in this world of successful men. I can see that I'm just looking for another narrative, I know the problem is not that my narrative was incorrect (although it was) it's that I was driven by an external narrative in the first place. I need to do more work to figure out…
/r/MarriedRedPill28/04/20 10:18 PM
1

My votes, in order: Why you must be willing to nuke your nuclear family or you will fail My 2 year field report with timeline Creating the rollercoaster of feelz
/r/MarriedRedPill28/04/20 10:01 PM
1

Me too.
/r/MarriedRedPill28/04/20 09:58 PM
1

Validation + (BF#8): part of the BF activity 8 is to increase your validation seeking behavior. I did that with tinder (and other apps) this week. I turned tinder back on and started swiping, I got some matches but not as many and not the quality I would have liked. This time I didn’t think ‘what’s wrong with me’ more I thought ‘ok so what do I need to change (photos, profile etc) to get the outcome I want’. There was still some validation seeking, I wanted hot girls to want me but significantly…
/r/MarriedRedPill28/04/20 09:20 AM
2

OYS 18: Mid 30’s, 6’ 186lb, ~12%BF (Navy method), Separated, one kid 3yrs (f) Week Goals One meditation session 20min – 0 10 min meditation per day – 6/7 Boundaries – 9/10 did well here. Mobility – started again and hit 100% of intended sessions Present with daughter – one week streak No porn for four weeks – one week done Physical: Be strong, fit, powerful and injury free into old age. Weights two sessions Metcon session Kayaking Started knee exercise again Sleeping tables back to 1/8. Issues L…
/r/MarriedRedPill28/04/20 09:18 AM
1

I like the five whys, use it at work not sure why I'm not applying it to myself.
/r/MarriedRedPill24/04/20 01:40 AM
1

Thanks I will start doing that, going to set a time at night to get the process started then go from there.
/r/MarriedRedPill24/04/20 01:39 AM
1

I try and do this by taking notes by hand on what I want to include and then typing it up into my OYS. It also helps me avoid tainting the whole thing with my mood on the day. Do you have a 'methodology' for journaling to help you get to 'the real shit' or is it just putting in the reps?
/r/MarriedRedPill23/04/20 10:34 PM
1

I got a text from my 11 year old this week - "dad, I just wanted to say how much I love you and need you, I didn't realize this before but do now. I love you so much". That's awesome. I try to be the parent she needs regardless of who knows it, I hope one day she will see. Even if she doesn't I will still be that. You are still not comfortable with yourself. What about yourself do you not like? Why do you feel the need to be around others / in a relationship? There is a big different to enjoying…
/r/MarriedRedPill23/04/20 10:26 PM
1

You really have a hardon for 19 year olds. So go fuck a 19yo. Just do it. Set the stage, see what happens emotionally. You'll know its for validation by the emotions that come up as you spin up the plate. I'm not sure I have the game to get a hot 19 year old just yet. After the quarantine I will start plating again, I have been experimenting with trying to get validation over tinder this week to notice my feelings etc. Re the 19 year old, I'm not sure if its because when I was 19 I was getting 0…
/r/MarriedRedPill23/04/20 10:17 PM
1

Why is feeling bad, bad? Why do you need to feel "good"? Is the feeling actually "good"? Or is it some thin approximation? I'm glad you asked me this, it was something I needed to think about. Historically I have spiraled down quite low and I'm scared of that happening again. I think I have had depression for a while which seems to be lifting now but probably threw my calibration for what 'bad' feels like. I choose to dull feelings with (insert whatever). I posted a while ago in an OYS that I wa…
/r/MarriedRedPill23/04/20 10:07 PM
2

Some solid advice I received about reading NMMNG from u/AlohaMaui808 - take the time you need to get value out of it. If you are stuck still being a nice guy then dont rush yourself. Read at the pace you can properly absorb it and think about the activities. I read until I get to a BF activity (taking notes if anything jumps out at me) do the activity, read other peoples answers on the NMMNG sub then see if I want to add anything. Then when I type it up I do another quick pass.
/r/MarriedRedPill21/04/20 09:55 AM
1

NMMNG Breaking Free Activity 7: can people see my imperfections and still love me? How would I be different if I knew the people I care about would never leave/stop loving me? On an intellectual level yes but it doesn’t feel that way. What else is there to love other than how I ‘give’ to them and if I have imperfections then I am giving less. The bit about people being attracted to another person’s ‘life energy’ resonated with me, I used to have that but I seem to have lost it to a large degree.…
/r/MarriedRedPill21/04/20 09:51 AM
2

OYS 17: Mid 30’s, 6’ 186lb, ~12%BF (Navy method), Separated, one kid 3yrs (f) Week Goals One meditation session 20min – did three. 10 min meditation per day – 4/7 Actively reject guilt associated with ex – getting rid of this. Boundaries are what will progress me forwards. Stick to boundaries – 9/10 did well here. Mobility taking some time off then will reset. Four morning walks – 4/4 I think these are good for getting going in the morning. Reading: NMMNG, MMSLP, Pook, MAP, Side Bar, Unchained m…
/r/MarriedRedPill21/04/20 09:48 AM
2

I literally thought that same thing this morning. I was thinking how I’m not even with her and I’m scared of pissing her off. That I have always been scared of pissing off every woman I want to fuck. Unfortunately pissing her off results in a court case but better than letting her to continue to control my life.
/r/MarriedRedPill15/04/20 07:58 AM
1

To be honest I'm not sure how to make progress in that area, my plan is to continue reading NMMNG and Stop walking on eggshells (this book has been an eye opener for how my own behavior enables other peoples crap) then reassess. I think the shame is coming from a few places, never living up to the sacrifice my father made, my underlying belief that having my needs met or having needs in the first place is selfish and weak, a need to 'be perfect' and a 'never enough' schema. I hope by going throu…
/r/MarriedRedPill14/04/20 09:57 PM
3

Breaking Free Activity 6: How do I hide perceived flaws and how effective do I think it is. It is not effective but regardless of how effective I am hiding flaws / mistakes from others, I know and the act of hiding them reinforces there is something wrong with me. It’s no way to live. When someone suggests a simple computer fix at work, (e.g. turn it off and on) sometimes I pretend I have already done it because I feel like I should have already tried that. In general, if I make a mistake or do …
/r/MarriedRedPill14/04/20 10:04 AM
7

OYS 16: Mid 30’s, 6’ 186lb, ~12%BF (Navy method), Separated, one kid 3yrs (f) Week Goals One meditation session 20min – did three. 10 min meditation per day – 7/7 Actively reject guilt associated with ex – 7/10 some failings. Stick to boundaries – 8/10. Mobility (its actually strengthening exercises + mobility) 2 times per day – failed, pushed too hard too soon and hurt myself. Ended up with 7/14 intended sessions. No alcohol this week – 0 alcohol (will remove this week but will periodically bri…
/r/MarriedRedPill14/04/20 10:03 AM
1

Thanks, this is what I did with the criminal charge. I didn't pretend it was going to all magically be ok, I planned exactly what I would do in jail, I started watching gay porn just to.. wait scrap that. It was stressful but it helped me manage, in this instance the 'likely scenario' is that she looses out, any lawyer will tell her that and when I can internalize that I feel free and light. When I think 'what if' the exhaustion comes back but maybe that's because I haven't' actually planned for…
/r/MarriedRedPill07/04/20 09:03 PM
2

I'll post my NMMNG activities as a post to my OYS - they are taking up too much space. NMMNG Breaking Free Activity 4: List the ways I seek approval/validation. Women – I want them to want me. Have to be careful of tinder. Being smart, capable. Looking unselfish, giving, being a ‘good guy’. Able to fix problems for people. Being in good shape. Being different to other men. Being good in bed. People liking me/not offending others. Being good at everything I do. Last OYS was up voted, I felt valid…
/r/MarriedRedPill07/04/20 09:57 AM
2

OYS 15: Mid 30’s, 6’ 186lb, ~12%BF (Navy method), Separated, one kid 3yrs (f) Weekly Goals One meditation session 20min – did three. 10 min metta meditation per day – 7/7 Actively reject guilt associated with ex – 6/10 some failings. Stick to boundaries – 6/10 some failings. Mobility 2 times per day – 100% intended sessions. Adding: No alcohol this week Morning walk *4 Reading: NMMNG, MMSLP, Pook, MAP, Side Bar, Unchained male, models, The Eagle and the Dragon, WOTSM, WISNIFG, The dating playboo…
/r/MarriedRedPill07/04/20 09:56 AM
2

Appreciate it, I have cued No Bad Kids up next, her podcast looks good too.
/r/MarriedRedPill02/04/20 08:05 PM
3

Thanks, I am guilty of this, I try to stop the crying rather than supporting her in learning/growing. I think in this instance I was being an insecure faggot and basically getting offended that she was crying for mommy. To be honest part of me still wants her to just want to be with me but I know that on the whole she does, sometimes she just cries for mom and that's fine too, I am the oak and I will be a safe space for her.
/r/MarriedRedPill02/04/20 08:17 AM
2

Thanks this is great, I didn't know what to replace it with and I'll try this. I agree re insecure men, it's exactly what I was being, I was not her safe place, I was having a little tantrum of my own because I didn't want her to cry for mommy because mommy was throwing legal threats around in the background (or whatever it was). Would you start with Elevating Child Care or No Bad Kids?
/r/MarriedRedPill02/04/20 08:14 AM
1

Thank I will check them out, I intend to spend some time learning about this but so much of what I read is just crap. Also, the reality is I don't like her crying for her mom because of how it makes me feel, because I'm still angry and I dont want her to want her mom when she is with me. So, I need to let go of that and read those books. Edited to actually own my shit.
/r/MarriedRedPill01/04/20 04:07 AM
2

Without knowing your personal weak spots its hard to make any suggestions but if you want to lost some weight then hill sprints and good nutrition will make a massive difference. Taking three weeks to seriously cut calories (5-6 out of 7 days), eat healthy and run hill sprints will lean you up like nothing else and its great motivation to add some muscle when you can see what little muscle you currently have. On another note, good to see you progressing with the split. It's hard and 100% worth i…
/r/MarriedRedPill31/03/20 10:22 AM
9

OYS 14: Mid 30’s, 6’ 186lb, ~13%BF (Navy method), Separated, one kid 3yrs (f) Week Goals One meditation session 20min – did three 10 min metta meditation per day 7/7 Find 3 overnight camping/hiking destinations and one overseas trip – no progress pausing for now seeing as I can’t go anywhere. Actively reject guilt associated with ex – 7/10 Reading: NMMNG, MMSLP, Pook, MAP, Side Bar, Unchained male, models, The Eagle and the Dragon, WOTSM, WISNIFG, The dating playbook for men, The subtle art of n…
/r/MarriedRedPill31/03/20 10:10 AM
1

Thanks, it's useful to see them all positioned next to each other. I still have no idea what I want really, I have vague ideas but when I try and drill down I'm just not actually sure. I liked the commentary in the mission post about getting in touch with you gut again. I need to get back to a place where I do things because I want to, not because I think I 'should' on some level.
/r/MarriedRedPill25/03/20 03:22 AM
1

I am floundering, I'm trying to understand whats driving the resistance but I am just not sure, I think I just need more development. Goals this week: - One meditation session 20min - 10 min per day total metta towards myself - Find 3 overnight camping/hiking destinations and one overseas trip - Actively reject guilt associated with ex TRT - where I live we are way behind on TRT. I could try injections and might, I was hoping I could get away with just cream. My total T is 660ng/dl but SHBG is 5…
/r/MarriedRedPill24/03/20 08:38 PM
1

Thanks will do.
/r/MarriedRedPill24/03/20 08:13 PM
1

OYS 13: Mid 30’s, 6’ 186lb, ~12%BF (Navy method), Separated, one kid 2yrs (f) Reading: NMMNG, MMSLP, Pook, MAP, Side Bar, Unchained male, models, The Eagle and the Dragon, WOTSM, WISNIFG, The dating playbook for men, The subtle art of not giving a fuck, The Rational Male, Awareness (90%), Meditation Book (35%) Mission: Become a man I respect. Provide a healthy, happy and active environment for my daughter and give her the opportunity to learn the skills needed to live a happy and healthy life. C…
/r/MarriedRedPill24/03/20 10:10 AM
1

Thanks, taking on everything, achieving nothing as been an ongoing mistake for me. Focus this week: not taking responsibility for other people’s life and not feel guilt for things I am not responsible for.
/r/MarriedRedPill17/03/20 08:03 PM
1

I had T checked, free T was ‘ok’ range but my SHBG was high. From what I described Dr suggested T cream on balls and something for SHGB. I’ll see how that goes then reassess. Re martial arts I have done Muay Thai, boxing and BJJ most of my life. Even in the ring I control the anger, I think it’s part fear, if I get angry so will they and then I can’t control things/might get hurt. Just last night at the boxing gym one of the young guys decided to go hard so I let go a bit - still controlled. Gro…
/r/MarriedRedPill17/03/20 08:01 PM
2

She will probably feel the need to get a 'win' put some padding in the agreement so she can get it without fucking you. That was my experience anyway. We are in different legal systems so not sure how it works there.
/r/MarriedRedPill17/03/20 08:55 AM
1

OYS 12: Mid 30’s, 6’ 186lb, ~13%BF (Navy method), Separated, one kid 2yrs (f) Reading: NMMNG, MMSLP, Pook, MAP, Side Bar, Unchained male, models, The Eagle and the Dragon, WOTSM, WISNIFG, The dating playbook for men, The subtle art of not giving a fuck, The Rational Male, Awareness (80%), Meditation Book (30%) Struggling with the format of this, I wander aimlessly… well it feels that way. Mission: Become a man I respect. Provide a healthy, happy and active environment for my daughter and give he…
/r/MarriedRedPill17/03/20 08:47 AM
1

This right here is what I'm striving for.
/r/MarriedRedPill13/03/20 09:04 AM
1

Boxing, talking to friends, lifting and trying to improve my life is currently where it's going. Fall of the wagon sometimes but trying to get back on as quick as possible. Considering where I was not that long ago I am making progress. More to go.
/r/MarriedRedPill13/03/20 09:03 AM
1

Thanks. I took 6m off women when I left ex to deal with things on my own. I didn’t want to look for validation in women, started up again recently and realized there was still a lot of validation seeking. I have a MAP I’m working on and am making progress, I made the mistake of thinking physical progress was the priority and didn’t see how deep the ego, validation and resentment went, I still don’t but I have started digging. I have made progress on being less of a faggot but fall back onto it, …
/r/MarriedRedPill12/03/20 10:14 PM
1

It sure does. Bring less of a faggot is the main reason I am here.
/r/MarriedRedPill12/03/20 10:08 PM
1

It does sound a bit fucked but it’s not as if I’m winning with my current approach so I’m open to options!
/r/MarriedRedPill11/03/20 01:15 AM
1

Got it - thanks.
/r/MarriedRedPill10/03/20 11:20 PM
2

Certainly going to keep lifting and stick to the MAP. I like the idea of 100 (although I’ll drop the number...) pushups in the morning to get things moving and an early win.
/r/MarriedRedPill10/03/20 08:01 PM
1

Why? I’m still trying to figure out all the mental models, this seems like good advice. The only thing is I have been trying to avoid using women as a salve to the pain and just when I want them for fun.
/r/MarriedRedPill10/03/20 08:00 PM
1

Yeah I know, I’m struggling to actually know what I want so I can’t see the nice shit. I have always had a tendency to feel like it’s all meaningless etc. my strategy is to do cool shit anyway and to make sure I don’t go backwards. But the self pity has always been a thing. I have started asking ‘is this helping me?’ Which has been helping.
/r/MarriedRedPill10/03/20 07:59 PM
1

I have been trying mindfulness with the emotions but I definitely avoid thinking about it all. I see crying or being emotional as a weakness rather than just letting it out and moving on also I struggle to feel emotions, most of the time I don’t know what I’m feeling until it’s very obvious. I’ll add journaling to the mix and try to build that self awareness when feeling ‘things’.
/r/MarriedRedPill10/03/20 07:54 PM
1

This feels like reading my own OYS once I get over my anger, fear and stop trying to control everything in life. Glad to see your coming out positive.
/r/MarriedRedPill10/03/20 09:45 AM
2

OYS 11: Mid 30’s, 6’ 186lb, ~12%BF (Navy method), Separated, one kid 2yrs (f) Reading: NMMNG, MMSLP, Pook, MAP, Side Bar, Unchained male, models, The Eagle and the Dragon, WOTSM, WISNIFG, The dating playbook for men, The subtle art of not giving a fuck, The Rational Male, Awareness (70%), Mission: Become a man I respect. Provide a healthy, happy and active environment for my daughter and give her the opportunity to learn the skills needed to live a happy and healthy life. Create a living environ…
/r/MarriedRedPill10/03/20 08:29 AM
1

OYS 10: Mid 30’s, 6’ 186lb, ~12%BF (Navy method), Separated, one kid 2yrs (f) Reading: NMMNG, MMSLP, Pook, MAP, Side Bar, Unchained male, models, The Eagle and the Dragon, WOTSM, WISNIFG, The dating playbook for men, The subtle art of not giving a fuck, Awareness (70%), The Rational Male (80%) Mission: While I have made some progress in thinking about what I want in life and have some tentative bigger goals, I’m really not in a position to even know what I want. For now I am going to focus on th…
/r/MarriedRedPill04/03/20 06:00 AM
1

I will, thanks for the input.
/r/MarriedRedPill27/02/20 06:54 PM
1

Not all of them and I did them about a year ago, I was a dancing monkey and had even less insight at that point. I'll add it to the reading list and do another run through.
/r/MarriedRedPill27/02/20 08:47 AM
1

you don't dig inside like that, you'll never scrape out the shit. All the surface work you've done will never be able to cover up that stench. Man you are spot on with your 'guess'. I don't think much of myself and rely on external validation to cover it all up. I'm still not sure how to actually change that though. For now, I'll focus on time in nature, introspection and trying to actually notice my thoughts/feelings rather than just distracting myself from them. If you have any books etc that …
/r/MarriedRedPill27/02/20 05:53 AM
1

ating yourself, even only a little, then why isn't that enough? Why do you need more validation from the likes of Tinder thots who barely know their anus from their mouth? What value does that actually add to your life? I have no idea why I'm not validating myself. One of the things I'm struggling with is I can see an issue but am not sure why it's an issue. I'm spending more time trying to figure out why I think/feel the things I do an I'm hoping that will lead to some insight. I also need to h…
/r/MarriedRedPill27/02/20 02:41 AM
2

OYS 9: Mid 30’s, 6’ 186lb, ~12%BF (Navy method), Separated, one kid 2yrs (f) Reading: NMMNG, MMSLP, Pook, MAP, Side Bar, Unchained male, models, The Eagle and the Dragon, WOTSM, WISNIFG, The dating playbook for men, The subtle art of not giving a fuck, Awareness (50%), The Rational Male (54%) Mission: I went hiking alone for three days and spent time thinking about life, mission etc. I still don’t know what my ‘mission’ is but I’m starting to think beyond the short term. My v0.1 version is: Beco…
/r/MarriedRedPill25/02/20 09:31 AM
1

RedBackedBadger I never even considered that, I'll keep an eye on it. Thanks.
/r/MarriedRedPill19/02/20 08:35 PM
1

OYS 8: Mid 30’s, 6’ 186lb, ~12%BF (Navy method), Separated, one kid 2yrs (f) Reading: NMMNG, MMSLP, Pook, MAP, Side Bar, Unchained male, models, The Eagle and the Dragon, WOTSM, WISNIFG, The dating playbook for men, The subtle art of not giving a fuck, Awareness (15%), The Rational Male (42%) Mission: Lay the foundations upon which I will build the rest of my life in the domains: Women, Finances, Physical and Mental. Making progress and starting get the basics sorted. I can see I need to spend s…
/r/MarriedRedPill19/02/20 06:35 AM
1

OYS 7: Mid 30’s, 6’ 186lb, ~12%BF (Navy method), Separated, one kid 2yrs (f) Reading: NMMNG, MMSLP, Pook, MAP, Side Bar, Unchained male, models, The Eagle and the Dragon, WOTSM, WISNIFG, The dating playbook for men, The subtle art of not giving a fuck, Awareness (just started) Progress: I have been feeling down on myself for being a needy bitch lately (see Needy Bitch section below) and I decided to review some of the progress I have made so far. Cut almost 40lb fat. Gained 18lb muscle. Was the …
/r/MarriedRedPill12/02/20 06:54 AM
1

Thanks for taking the time here. I will take a while to digest it all but from what you have said I think the need for validation and scarcity mindset is the core of why I'm struggling to accept some of it. When you become your own mental point of origin, have a real mission, and are focused on that to the point that women are a fun distraction, a way to relax and recharge when you so choose because they are fun and add value to your life, suddenly you realize one day you aren't dependent on the…
/r/MarriedRedPill05/02/20 07:36 PM
1

It could be, I'm using the Navy method which seems very inaccurate. I can DM a pick to you (or anybody) who is better at using the picture method, I would be interested to know if I'm off. Re big lifts - I have dropped the weight back for several months on all lifts to address injuries. Before drop: SQ 280*3, DL 353*1, BP 210*5, OHP 165*5. After drop: SQ not doing it, DL 285*5, BP 185*5, OHP 135*5.
/r/MarriedRedPill05/02/20 07:27 PM
1

OYS 6: Mid 30’s, 6’ 186lb, ~12%BF (Navy method), Separated, one kid 2yrs (f) Reading: NMMNG, MMSLP, Pook, MAP, Side Bar, Unchained male, models, The Eagle and the Dragon, WOTSM, WISNIFG, The dating playbook for men, The subtle art of not giving a fuck (this resonated with me will add to read again list), Awareness (just started) Mission: Lay the foundations upon which I will build the rest of my life in the domains: Women, Finances, Physical and Mental. Making progress, starting to feel excited …
/r/MarriedRedPill05/02/20 06:02 AM
1

Thanks, I read it a while ago but probably time to go through it again.
/r/MarriedRedPill29/01/20 07:55 PM
1

OYS 5: Mid 30’s, 6’ 186lb, ~12%BF (Navy method), Separated, one kid 2yrs (f) Reading: NMMNG, MMSLP, Pook, MAP, Side Bar, Unchained male, models, The Eagle and the Dragon, WOTSM, WISNIFG, The dating playbook for men, The subtle art of not giving a fuck (55%) Mission: Lay the foundations upon which I will build the rest of my life in the domains: Women, Finances, Physical and Mental. Physical: Going ok, hit 80% mobility and gym 3 times. Pain in knees again which is annoying with how careful I have…
/r/MarriedRedPill29/01/20 06:15 AM
1

I only recently realized I did care, I was keeping the relationship half open. Realizing that's it's me keeping the relationships half open is helping, as if fucking other girls...who would have thought. I'm still about 3months out from being 99% legally protected from her trying to relocate with daughter so I'm hesitant to push that now. Having said that, I can focus on my frame for all of this and not getting caught up in her actions beyond managing the situation to get the outcome I want. And…
/r/MarriedRedPill24/01/20 06:48 AM
1

One example is - we had arranged she would have our daughter last Tuesday (so I could bang a plate...didn't tell her that) and on Tuesday she said 'so you'll have daughter tonight'. I told her I couldn't and she got angry saying she had an appointment (she seems to regularly 'forget' when she is supposed to have our daughter and organize things...) she was generally being bitchy and shitty and totally indignant that I couldn't drop everything to accommodate her inability to manage life. It was a…
/r/MarriedRedPill22/01/20 08:12 PM
1

Thanks. I tell myself (and sometimes its true) that we need to sort out logistics re daughter but often it's because I'm too scared to walk away and have her 'angry' with me. To be honest I probably just need more patience, for years I was literally begging her not to leave whenever she got in a mood, then I left her and only in the last few months started implementing boundaries - it will take a while. Now that I think about it, I'm probably doing a mini Rambo while separated, I gave up my self…
/r/MarriedRedPill22/01/20 08:00 PM
1

OYS 4: Mid 30’s, 6’ 186lb, ~12%BF (Navy method), Separated, one kid 2yrs (f) Reading: NMMNG, MMSLP, Pook, MAP, Side Bar, Unchained male, models, The Eagle and the Dragon, WOTSM, WISNIFG, The dating playbook for men (75%). Mission: Lay the foundations upon which I will build the rest of my life in the domains: Women, Finances, Physical and Mental. Physical: Going well, hit 100% mobility and gym 3 times. I am still focusing on posterior chain, lower weight with slow eccentrics and technique for th…
/r/MarriedRedPill22/01/20 06:07 AM
1

That is my priority at the moment. It undermines almost everything I do in life. Re sex, you are right. To be honest I have no idea what I actually want. I think it's also to do with basically getting an adrenaline response because anything I do that isn't perfect will reveal me as deeply flawed in some way. Hence the 'not good enough' thing being a priority. Fuck, even with my ex I dont know what I want and when I look at my behaviors I'm trying to keep the door half open there. I need to decid…
/r/MarriedRedPill17/01/20 07:21 AM
1

I have added it to my reading list. I just read your OYS (Realized it was driven by a feeling of ‘failing’ the marriage, the kids, and her. Wondering where I fucked up in the marriage) I think this is a factor for me too. I get into the loop that I could have done something different, then when the ex is trying to get back together I think maybe I could make it work this time... well maybe I could but it probably wouldn't and there are plenty of other women. Baseline is just some artificial crap…
/r/MarriedRedPill16/01/20 04:11 AM
2

OYS 3: The other people’s frame, dancing monkey and covert contracts edition. Mid 30’s, 6’ 186lb (-3), ~13%BF (Navy method), Separated, one kid 2yrs (f) Reading: NMMNG, MMSLP, Pook, MAP, Side Bar, Unchained male, models, The Eagle and the Dragon, WOTSM, WISNIFG (45%), The dating playbook for men (35%). Why I am here: Because I live in other people’s frame, I feel like I am not ‘enough’, I do things to get women to like me and I think they should all sleep/want me for xyz reason. Physical Hit 100…
/r/MarriedRedPill15/01/20 05:09 AM
1

OYS 2: Mid 30’s, 6’ 186lb (-3), ~14%BF (Navy method), Separated, one kid 2yrs (f) Reading: NMMNG, MMSLP, Pook, MAP, Side Bar, Unchained male, models, The Eagle and the Dragon, WOTSM, WISNIFG (45%) Why I am here: I am not what or who I want to be in life. When I found MRP I was in a relationship and have since separated however I think this is likely the place that can help me become the man I want to be. Physical Was not as good with mobility as I should have been, hit 70% of my intended mobilit…
/r/MarriedRedPill08/01/20 06:01 AM
1

I replaced it with beer, bourbon and McDonalds...
/r/MarriedRedPill03/01/20 01:05 AM
1

RedBacked Thanks for the tip, I'm currently doing 1-2 sessions a week with a trainer and getting them to check form. We are currently focused on posterior chain (I dont have any issues with deads) while cleaning a few mobility issues up. I'm squatting light during this phase for higher reps as you suggested and hope to slowly increase the weight. I just did 13mi over a rocky mountain range and knee held up well so I think what we are doing is working.
/r/MarriedRedPill03/01/20 01:03 AM
3

OYS 1: Mid 30’s, 6’ 190lb, ~14%BF (Navy method), Separated, one kid 2yrs (f) Reading: NMMNG, MMSLP, Pook, MAP, Side Bar, Unchained male, models, The Eagle and the Dragon, WOTSM (80%) Why I am here: I am not what or who I want to be in life. When I found MRP I was in a relationship and have since separated however I think this is likely the place that can help me become the man I want to be. Physical Background: was 210lb at 300% BF, cut down to 172lb then bulked to current. Lifts before implemen…
/r/MarriedRedPill31/12/19 10:13 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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