TheRedArchive

~ archived since 2018 ~

RedLiftingStraps Archive

View 0 posts and 185 comments by RedLiftingStraps on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
Search in:
In subreddits:
More
Filter by year/month:
Upvotes Title Category Author Subreddit Date (UTC)
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
1

Liked your edit and linked post. Anything by Archwinger is typically a home run, he has some solid understanding and solid writing skills. Browsing his post history is worthwhile. Talking about L4 and leaving the house - someone (maybe jack10?) had a post about making sure you're not getting too autistically and butt-hurtedly obvious about leaving the house. I think it made the point about not going from 100% attention to 0% attention like a moron. I'm sure as hell been guilty of storming off li…
/r/MarriedRedPill04/12/18 03:11 AM
1

You keep saying that you could get all these hot women. How much of that is based only on your known betbux status (income or profession - do your slutty housewife admirers know you're a doc, is it on your dating site profile?) In any event, what do you honestly think will happen should you get into a relationship (of some sort) with one of these hotties, given that your primary habits regarding women are to be deferential, non challenging, frameless, and reactive? I'll give you a hint - it may …
/r/MarriedRedPill02/12/18 10:06 PM
2

A couple thoughts for you. Rust belt, Poor for a few years, ate pb&j – so you still have a residual scarcity mentality coloring your decision making process ​ > Got diagnosed with [...]slight Mania ​ no wonder you write so fucking much > what is the easiest way to get LTR to do what I want/manipulate her/be my sex "slave/maid/cook” Ahh, the shortcut method. No shortcuts bud. > I have a large ego due to my current financial success and what I expect future Me to look like. You have a large ego. P…
/r/MarriedRedPill02/12/18 07:06 PM
13

Meditation helps you see that half the shit going through your head at any given moment is just that - momentary meaningless shit. Then it's a lot easier to catch yourself when the usual triggers come up (old insults, anger, feelings of resentment, whatever), because you know it's just bullshit rattling through your head. And it gives a better perspective on how transient and irrelevant a lot of things other people say is too. This all ties in to the solidness of your frame. Plus just a general …
/r/MarriedRedPill01/12/18 04:51 PM
1

> I'll beat Mommy up with my pee-pee. Jesus Christ. Freud would be proud.
/r/MarriedRedPill21/11/18 02:31 AM
1

This was a lot of words but I don't really see any point to this post. I had to read it twice and if I had to try hard to extract any points, I'd venture a guess that (1) it's hard to say what porn is, (2) how can we have a healthier relationship with sex, and (3) people will keep using porn. Which seem kinda captain obvious. Can someone tell me what I missed?
/r/MarriedRedPill17/11/18 01:59 PM
1

My biggest challenge has been to avoid letting her press my buttons when she gets in a mood, and then having things escalate into a full on fight. It's basically been me trying to remain mindful when she starts. In my own case, 90% of the issue is in my own head so I don't have a lot of tactical advice for you other than just walking away. Reading your post again it's apparent there are a lot more similarities. My wife is also great and open in bed, and is great around the house, cleaning, laund…
/r/MarriedRedPill13/11/18 09:13 PM
3

You're starting pretty far down in a hole here. Didn't catch if you mentioned it, but getting some professional (individual) therapy for her and/or you might be useful. I wouldn't necessarily frame it as " she’s too difficult a case / unicorn that this methodology won't work on her. " but more of a "there's a huge pile of obvious trauma in the way of improving your life via ass-slapping and flirting and owning your own shit".
/r/MarriedRedPill13/11/18 06:02 PM
1

> I replied that I didn’t have a problem with it and that I would keep doing it, that she would have to deal with it, all she has to say is no. ​ > This morning she could smell the butt hurt on me too. > I don’t know, kids aren’t going to be asleep when we get back, I’ll be tired, shitty reasons. This is where I fell apart ​ Dude. The congnitive dissonance is blinding me, hurting my eyes. Don't think your wife can't see it too. You need your words and you actions and intent to align. ​ The date …
/r/MarriedRedPill13/11/18 05:53 PM
3

yes, she grew up in a physically and emotionally abusive home, dysfunctional family. she reacts to stress like a trauma survivor - quick to anger, assumes bad intent and motives in people without evidence, personalizes stress as threats to her, lashes out, and has very little ability to see any situation from the point of view of another. Thanks for writing this paragraph. Both the history and behaviour describe my wife to a tee. I hadn't really considered her "symptoms" as a cluster like that b…
/r/MarriedRedPill13/11/18 05:43 PM
1

RED FLAG RED FLAG RED FLAG RED FLAG > I’ve spoken to her about these type of threats but she doesn’t care that it scares me. Ahh, the old "try to negotiate with terrorists strategy". Nice. Let me know how that works out for you. Buh bye.
/r/askTRP11/11/18 02:42 AM
1

Lift. Don't get fat. Learn a martial art. Don't get married young. Probably don't marry at all if you live in the western world. Don't be afraid to walk away from a girl. Don't be afraid to put yourself first. Make a plan for your life and keep those goals in mind. Find something you;re passionate about and incorporate it into your life. Bachelor Pad Economics has some good advice on not getting your financial life fucked.
/r/askTRP10/11/18 05:38 PM
3

> First, we don't talk to others about our problems. Period. So as a guy who's been in a lot of stupid fight over the years, I sort of get this. But it also has a certain smell of shame and insecurity and controllingness to it. Demanding that someone else never talks about their life to anyone else seems kind of a dick move limiting on them. So you expect that under all situations of relationship stress, she will either (1) have the internal resources to figure out the best solution or that (2) …
/r/MarriedRedPill10/11/18 02:21 PM
13

> googling "how to be more fun" This sounds excruciating. Make sure you write down the results on little laminated flash cards you can keep in your pocket. Colour code them if needed. Then set a timer on your phone or your watch to remind you to be more fun. ​
/r/MarriedRedPill09/11/18 05:45 PM
3

Reread your tripartite War and Peace response above and count up the number of times you make excuses for shit. Start just by looking for the word "but". Do the same with the response you wrote to WAS below. "I've always been...<so I won't be able to change that>", "I know it's going to be hard... <so it's not going to change>" , "it's like this BUT...<reason no change is needed>". Excuses are how you convince (hamster) yourself that you don't need to act or change. Is it any wonder that u/RPWol…
/r/MarriedRedPill08/11/18 01:40 PM
3

> what's so "needy" or unreasonable about me trying to initiate sex with my wife a day after she promised that we could have sex "tomorrow"? Jesus you're thick. There is NO SUCH THING as a sex promise. It's just words that she said in the moment, either because she's feeling flirty but not able to fuck ATM, or (your case) to get you and your nagging off her fucking back for a little while. Women say what they feel in the moment. Men make plans and commit to long term goals and promises. Keep thi…
/r/MarriedRedPill07/11/18 01:05 AM
1

First thing I thought of was Every Unhappy Wife is a Rape Victim.
/r/MarriedRedPill07/11/18 01:02 AM
1

> I did a touch of meditation and made myself pay attention. It helped. A lot. Solid. I get the sense there was a little of that in the client meeting too. > I’ve finally finished the rational male. It was a slog at the end.[...], but more, the language used to describe it. All due respect to the man, the legend, the god Rollo, the first time I read RM I thought to myself "This dude got a word-a-day desk calendar for Christmas and is Hell-bent on showing us he remembers every one." It's almost d…
/r/MarriedRedPill07/11/18 12:25 AM
1

Sometimes the best thing to do with shitty people or a shitty situation is to remove them or it from your life. That will at least get rid of the primary stressors while you work on alternative coping mechanisms for your rage. Meditation, lifting hard, read about and practice Stoicism. Maybe even a therapist if you can afford it or have insurance that would cover.
/r/askTRP01/11/18 03:32 AM
3

You were lucky to escape jail. You chose very poorly with your girlfriend. Just because she banged whenever you wanted doesn't make her a suitable LTR partner. You need to unfuck whatever it is in your personality that made you think this trainwreck of a girl was The Right One for you.
/r/TheRedPill01/11/18 02:16 AM
1

Well he's not completely stupid then. But in life, you don;t get treated how you deserve or how you think you ought to be treated. You get treated as badly as you put up with. As long as you keep thinking "well this is unavoidable, I can;t do anything about it, yadda yadda" she's not ever going to get negative feedback about her behaviour except having to hear you whiiiiine. So do something to stop it. Leave, remove your time and attention. Let her know you don't plan to play that bullshit game.
/r/askMRP31/10/18 02:35 PM
1

> but once our counselor said I'm not allowed But it's allowed for her to get physical with you? LMAO fuck that noise.
/r/askMRP31/10/18 02:23 PM
3

I liked the Meditations with Bill Murray, but thought the Ryan Gosling remake was a little gay. Was sad that Pat Morita died before the Art of War finished filming.
/r/askMRP31/10/18 12:14 AM
5

Schiess dem Fenster!
/r/askMRP30/10/18 02:59 AM
3

You may be right; she may have taken enough damage points in her life that therapy would help. However, you cannot make her do it. I mean, you technically can,with some kind of threats, but unless she actually recognizes a need that comes from her own place, sitting with someone on a couch listening to things she doesn't want to hear and resisting talking about things she doesn't want to talk about is just going to make her feel shittier and make your relationship worse. She'll then take that sh…
/r/askMRP29/10/18 11:50 PM
2

As if fucking around with a someone from your business circle doesn't have enough potential for exposure and damage, doing it with the one girl who has a shitty enough moral compass to be dating a dude in prison, is just next level asking for drama. I don't think you can handle that much heat.
/r/askMRP29/10/18 02:33 PM
5

It could be that the ex-wife was a fucking manipulative and vindictive whore who used the kids and custodial status for child support ($$$) reasons only, and treated the kids like shit while posting endless hypocrisy on facebook about "proud momma" and "look at my beautiful kids". Now the kid wants to live with dad because kid doesn't ever want to speak to mother again as long as he lives. Maybe his kids and my kids can form a support group. Or maybe they just miss their dad. Sometimes things ca…
/r/askMRP28/10/18 03:30 PM
3

Check out Dalrock's blog for a pretty good Christian view of how courtship and chivalry are not the things you might have thought they were. He has a shitload of posts deconstructing chivalry.
/r/askMRP27/10/18 11:15 PM
1

Ditto on the knees out cue, don;t let them collapse together on the way up. Also find what foot angle works best for you - it's usually toes pointed somewhat outward say 15 degrees, in line with knees when down. Trying to work with an angle that fights the natural alignment of your knees can aggravate them.
/r/MarriedRedPill24/10/18 04:55 PM
1

Loosening up on this is probably something I could work on Seriously? As if you subconsciously didn't know what you needed to do when you picked your username. ​
/r/MarriedRedPill24/10/18 04:24 PM
2

I’m printing out 50 pages and stuffing them up my ass. I got some lube at that sex shop so they will slide in really nice. Well, the Sex God Method talks about DEVI. Sounds like you're going to have the "V" (for Variety) covered :-)
/r/MarriedRedPill23/10/18 08:31 PM
9

​ > a strong stomach for insults and an equally strong stomach for egregious disrespect to basic spelling, evidently
/r/askMRP23/10/18 01:34 AM
3

You're complaining bitterly about her seeming not to care about you. Get used to it. She is all about her life, the one in which she's the starring lead actress and the rest of the world is just filling the bit parts and walk-ons. That's just basic female behaviour. Sure, if you're a powerful and high value man she'll defer to you and get excitement from being with you, but don't think for a minute that she puts your well being over hers. Whining about her and your bad sex life and how inconside…
/r/askTRP21/10/18 06:40 PM
3

> it is as if it doesn’t matter. Ahh, I see you've casually observed but failed to accept the fundamental nature of women.
/r/askTRP21/10/18 05:52 PM
5

Feminism comes from feels not facts. Arguing against feels is like trying to fix a car engine by giving it an aspirin. Let you actions speak for you.
/r/askTRP21/10/18 05:49 PM
22

She's looking for fun and excitement. Coke makes her feel good. Hanging out with rich dudes makes her feel good. You apparently make her feel good too. Enjoy it while it lasts. A cokehead is not LTR material.
/r/askTRP21/10/18 05:47 PM
1

Switching a booze addiction for legalized weed addiction? Great plan, Einstein. > The next morning, I am still pissed and have trouble hiding it. She picks up on it and I don't tell her why of course, but she can tell I'm not myself. I'm just cold and aloof overall and she doesn't like it. I try to get out of the mood but I just can't. She tells me at one point about how she's excited about an upcoming trip and I just grunt because I just don't give a shit. She gets pissed because of my lack of …
/r/MarriedRedPill20/10/18 01:55 AM
2

You're my height. I gained an inch after starting to lift by fixing my posture. I blame the deadlifts. BTW pushups aren't exactly a back exercise - mostly chest and triceps. Incorporate these, I do them several times a week: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LT_dFRnmdGs bust used to do them daily. For your back, rows and pullups. When you get stronger/more used to your body, Pendlay rows are the shit but I wouldn't recommend them for a novice. > She would say that we fucked more recently than we h…
/r/MarriedRedPill20/10/18 01:47 AM
1

You sound incredibly down on yourself. That's going to leak through and make you look unattractive and weak. You say you're going to start > giving wife orders and compliment her after and why do you think giving orders from a place of self doubt and self loathing and demonstrable lack of owning your shit will give you results? You say that a year ago, your wife was asking you for guidance on diet and exercise - that's the place you want to be, not barking orders like a jackass. What was differe…
/r/MarriedRedPill20/10/18 01:27 AM
2

https://www.newsweek.com/canadians-already-complaining-legal-weed-too-expensive-1174532 ​
/r/MarriedRedPill20/10/18 01:16 AM
8

Way, way too many nested convoluted levels of "if I think this then she thinks that then should I think this or that?". Living in your head, not in the actual present moment. BJ's are good. ​
/r/askMRP18/10/18 09:04 PM
6

Encourage her with the therapy. To bring it up with her guy, and to keep going. IMHO that's the best way to deal with it. If you're still freaking out and panicking over stuff from two decades ago, that's a big sign that you need to work on it and get it out of your head for once and for all. If she's just started to bring it up in her sessions, expect it to be turbulent for her but be the oak she needs. My wife went through some really fucked up stuff and found a good therapist. It was kind of …
/r/askMRP12/10/18 05:15 PM
2

> I realize I made this harpy cunt .. out of the ingredients that were already in her. You take a lot of accountability for this, and that's great and fundamental to OYS and MRP and yadda yadda. But there's also the possibility that your wife is a miserable piece of shit who never should have been allowed to breed in the first place. Physical abuse towards her own children and an inability to manager her own temper make me think that's a strong possibility, but that's just me. But she might come…
/r/askMRP12/10/18 05:04 PM
3

When Harry Met Sally
/r/askMRP12/10/18 03:07 PM
1

In case you missed it, NMMNG. Read it. This week. https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B004C438CW/ref=dbs_a_def_rwt_hsch_vapi_taft_p1_i0
/r/askMRP12/10/18 02:47 PM
1

I took a look at our friend's post history. This appears to be his first adult relationship. At the tender age of thirty, he LTR'ed up the first woman who fucked him, an older woman who's already been married and had a kid. He has a LOT to learn about relationships. Honestly I think he's missing most of the context of life experience to be able to parse what seem to be the obvious facts being presented to him. That's why he's focussed on every little thing she says or does and keeps asking for p…
/r/askMRP12/10/18 02:03 PM
3

Also, check out this Rollo post: https://therationalmale.com/2012/08/27/girls-night-out/ Admittedly, a GNO is a little different than what she's proposing, but there's still a lesson. The key takeaway for you from this is not so much that you should STFU and be unphased, but rather the idea that a woman who sees her man as a man of high value, a prototypical alpha, will not be inclined to pull shit like this. I know you don't want to hear this, but right now you're either with a very low value w…
/r/askMRP12/10/18 05:01 AM
5

https://www.reddit.com/r/marriedredpill/comments/2vr5ih/how_to_build_boundaries_during_your_transition/ The usual phrase thrown around is something like "my girl doesn't spend the night in some other dude's hotel room". Leaving room for her hamster to figure out that she needs to step it up if she wants to continue to be your girl. HOWEVER, that being said, that kind of line doesn't work well coming from a guy who's needy, insecure, emotionally reactive, giving off butt hurt vibes, etc etc. It w…
/r/askMRP12/10/18 04:52 AM
6

Look, the disrespect has been eating you up, enough to make a post about it. Most of the guys here are agreeing with you, saying this is shitty behaviour on her part. But now you're hamstering up rationalizations of why this is OK. Lying to yourself, and then not taking appropriate action because (in my estimation) of fear, is partly why you're also getting so much shit from the guys here.
/r/askMRP12/10/18 04:26 AM
3

It's true that there's not much you can do to change another person's behaviour. (As far as the girls night out GNO, Rollo also has a post on that: https://therationalmale.com/2012/08/27/girls-night-out/). But the thing is that being purely STFU doesn't solve your problem. It's passive the way you make it sound. And simply telling her that is't annoying and discrepectful makes you sound winy and insecure the way you phrase it. Ultimatums don;t work,they just generate temporary resentful complian…
/r/askMRP12/10/18 04:20 AM
3

> so I defaulted to advice I read in TRP about not reacting to shit tests. There are two ideas behind STFU. The first is that you can come off as playing it cool, unphased, a real Cool Hand Luke (it's an old Paul Newman movie), alpha, or whatever. The second idea is that most people just dig themselves into a hole by saying the wrong thing, and STFU at least prevents you from fucking it up worse even if you can't achieve the first end. Your responses to people on this thread actually reveal some…
/r/askMRP12/10/18 03:34 AM
1

Or else simply stating how little respect she has for men in general. And you're doing what.... "lulling her into a false sense of security" by letting her go to this conference where she'll stay up all night getting wasted with her work crush? Brilliant.
/r/askMRP12/10/18 03:12 AM
2

> None of the shit tests ever happen. Just saying those things *are* the shit tests. She's pushing you to see if you have boundaries or not., To see if you're the kind of guy who is too new-agey, "sex-positive" or whatever they call it and she can do whataver she wants and you think she should rule the roost. Or else that you're afraid to state that it's not acceptable to you that she has dudes sleep over. If she thinks that she has all the power in the relationship, that she can yank your chain…
/r/askMRP12/10/18 03:02 AM
3

The phrase comes from this blog post. A little long but as with all things Rollo, worth reading.
/r/askMRP12/10/18 02:47 AM
2

Weight: 195lbs BF: est. 25-30% Lean Mass: est. 175lbs Just a pedantic note on your assessment. If you have 25% bf at 195 lbs, that's 49 lbs of fat (25% of 195). Therefore your lean mass is 195 - 49 = 146.
/r/MarriedRedPill09/10/18 05:55 PM
1

...and the DEERing begins ​
/r/MarriedRedPill09/10/18 05:48 PM
3

Had an organic conversation where my wife again explained that her lack of sex drive was a result of stress from her job and our finances You didn't actually believe that did you? Her lack of sexual attraction to you is a primitive organic thing that bubbles up from her lizard brain and then her analytical mind tries to create a reason for that feeling. She rejects the obvious (that she doesn't see you as an attractive sexual partner) because that would be incongruous with the fact that she's ma…
/r/MarriedRedPill09/10/18 03:51 PM
18

Women share a common brain. Once you tell one of them something, they all know it.
/r/askMRP07/10/18 05:14 PM
10

sidebar: https://old.reddit.com/r/marriedredpill/ view this link on a desktop browser, not using reddit app. Side bar will be on the... wait for it... side. reddit redesign has made sidebar harder to access reading list is on the sidebar template for OYS is by looking at most of them, also read the post "cut the shit" stickied at the top of the askmrp post list use this google search: > "acronym list" site:reddit.com/r/marriedredpill now go eat your banana, chimp ​
/r/askMRP07/10/18 04:02 PM
3

You're not understanding the power imbalance here. Rollo (I think) has a great post where he explores the phrase "whoever cares the least has the most power in a relationship". When you care more than she does about things, all she has to do is say "no" or withold whatever it is you're asking for. And she gets the upper hand. Now saying no is the easiest thing in the world for her, she's been doing it since she was a child. So she denies you your goal, she has the satisfaction of seeing you grov…
/r/askMRP07/10/18 03:32 PM
4

You have a lot on your plate. With the loss of your son and your panic attacks, therapy is the right thing. Individual therapy, not couples counselling. In your therapy sessions is a good place to talk shit out and vent your feelings. Once you get back home, do like steel says and STFU. If your wife wants to hear emotional drama and crying she'll go hang out with her relationship-trainwreck-girl-friends. The stuff you read here all sounds to you like a magical life saver and you want to jump in …
/r/askMRP05/10/18 01:52 PM
1

Good question. Made me think. I'd parse the subtlety: "things she wants" (aka getting your shit together and stop acting like a bitch) aren't being dictated by the specific "she" of the relationship. She's not dictating them or manipulating him into them, and he isn't being reactive to her specific demands or worldview in this case. He's acting this way to achieve his end goal of improving himself and by extension his relationship - his goals. Of course there may be overlap which makes it a win …
/r/askMRP05/10/18 12:05 AM
1

> sunglass clip ons for my glasses. All I can think of is this. Be attractive. Don't be unattractive.
/r/MarriedRedPill04/10/18 06:39 PM
3

> There's a certain amount of validation seeking happening in any serious relationship; there's a special joy in the experience of being chosen and desired by YOUR desired partner. Nothing wrong there. Sounds like you're making two possible errors here. Firstly conflating validation and affection. Affection is what she gives you. Validation is the twisted mental process that occurs in your head to turn that affection into self worth, while totally ignoring the fact that self worth comes from you…
/r/MarriedRedPill04/10/18 06:31 PM
2

This is a good point. I had been thinking of the situation where a wife is in generally just being in a bad mood for whatever reason, then getting annoyed at the kid as an extension of that, then using the husband as a tool to beat down the kid with as soon as he walks in the door after work. (I'm sure I'm not the only one who's been there. Good times. Sigh.) She starts to sees him as an easily manipulable pawn, but as you point out simultaneously sees him as a powerful enough authority to mete …
/r/MarriedRedPill04/10/18 03:47 PM
3

Kindle search for dishwasher in MMSLP 2011: Section 0.4: what she really wants > Better understanding her biological wiring means that you can start to adjust your game plan and start doing things that she really wants. Thankfully its not all about learning the correct technique of loading the dishwasher. Interpretation: you may think that making your wife happy improving your relationship is about choreplay and doing housework better i.e. loading the dishwasher how she likes it. Instead, there'…
/r/askMRP04/10/18 03:36 PM
2

Just a general note. Your whole writeup sounds so... passive, unenthusiatic, nonspecific. Lots of words and phases pop up: "somehow" , "unfocussed", "Goals: make some stretch goals", "thinking [passively] of getting a trainer". Maybe hopefully one day somehow if you make a goal of focussing, things might eventually change.
/r/MarriedRedPill02/10/18 03:46 PM
9

Be careful that feeling like you need to immediately take action after your wife reports a problem doesn't devolve into just another way of you being your wife's little bitch. Always use your own judgement.
/r/MarriedRedPill02/10/18 03:37 PM
2

> that's a warm up bar. LOL. Yeah, I was this guys exact same size when I started lifting and after a few months I was squatting mid 200 lbs easily.
/r/MarriedRedPill02/10/18 03:29 PM
2

A couple disconnected points. Line in the sand is a decent exposition. Sounds like you had an insight there. Also sounds like you had an insight when you let go of the anger lying with your wife and instead saw the absurdity. By insight I mean not just knowing a fact, but actually having it sink deep enough into your brain that it changed you in some way. You still need to have some more insight experiences though before you get this sorted. About your ex girlfriend. You're holding onto oneitis …
/r/MarriedRedPill02/10/18 03:27 PM
5

> 2-3 sessions weekly at gym I think you meant to write 3-4. > Yesterday we had a big fucking argument and we both lost our shit. This is not on her, not just one of those things, and not inevitable. It's you reacting with your ego to whatever it is she threw at you. Between her words and your reaction is a space, a gap, where you can chose your reaction. Chose wisely. Find that gap and remember STFU and what you want to achieve, your goals, and your frame. Yesterday my wife came home around 10 …
/r/MarriedRedPill27/09/18 01:46 AM
3

FWIW about your brother and parents. This is actually a thing that occurs in many contexts and many situations. The classic battle between a child (you) doing what is in your best self-interest versus the parents demanding that the siblings sacrifice their own good to a certain extent to the benefit of the other offspring. From an evolutionary biology/preservation of genes perspective it makes sense, although when you're the one being asked to make the sacrifice it's not easy to see. Steven Pink…
/r/MarriedRedPill27/09/18 01:18 AM
2

Jesus Christ man. Do the math. You weigh 149 lbs so 1% of that is 1.5 lbs. 0.2% is therefore 0.3 lbs, or 136 grams, or less than half a 12 oz can of diet soda. You remember that shit from high school, the difference between accuracy and precision? Well you can have all the decimal places in the world but if they get invalidated by two mouthfuls of water then I don't think they actually mean that much. I'm cutting myself and weigh in every day but I don't really give a shit if any given day is up…
/r/MarriedRedPill27/09/18 01:06 AM
2

This is basically Villar's point from "Manipulated Man". Women don't see men around as their primary focus, they see the women around them as their primary focus. Focus meaning competition, source of validation, mirror for reflecting values, etc. Men are just peripheral objects to use to improve your standing with their peer group. Having your man do something for you is great, but having you girlfriends know about it is 10x better.
/r/MarriedRedPill26/09/18 05:23 PM
5

You are a classic "nice guy". Setting yourself on fire to keep your wife warm. Too afraid of her to stop. You say you haven't read the books listed in the MRP sidebar, read at least no more mr nice guy (NMMNG) and when I say no I feel guilty (WISNIFG). You're having debt issues but you're renovating the kitchen. Unless you have plans to flip house and make bank, this is most likely a foolish move. I'm guessing this wasn't your idea, you let your wife guilt you/nag you into doing it. Did you feel…
/r/askMRP24/09/18 07:27 PM
2

The bigger the cushion, the better the pushin'
/r/askMRP24/09/18 04:55 PM
2

And if your current LTR doesn't, then you have a choice to make.
/r/askMRP23/09/18 01:58 PM
4

> argued tonight about her not wanting to submit Things you can't demand and.or negotiate for honestly: desire, respect, submission. > she said she'd give bj with me standing up and then wanted me to fuck her add[ass] So she's bending over backwards (and forwards) to please you, and your ego is so huge that's not enough for you > How to kill ego before my wife makes me kill the puppy? Your wife isn't making you do anything. You wrote this a month ago: > My wife knows how to get my rage to come o…
/r/askMRP23/09/18 01:50 PM
2

Is there a way to see sidebar on the new reddit desktop redesign, or do you have to go to the old site aka https://old.reddit.com/r/marriedredpill/ ? ​
/r/askMRP21/09/18 10:06 PM
2

https://youtu.be/0kaR6-MIV8k ​
/r/MarriedRedPill20/09/18 08:19 PM
2

Basically, don't hold on to grudges. Begin every day like it was a fresh new day and you're not carrying over yesterday's problems and beefs into it. Be courteous, friendly, not snippy or butthurt, demonstrating you're unaffected by shit and are a positive guy. ​
/r/MarriedRedPill19/09/18 06:26 PM
2

Take it really easy recovering. I pulled something two months post op twisting myself into a hockey stop while ice skating, and was laid up again for weeks. Also check out Jeff Cavaliere/AthleanX youtube channel for some tips on a couple of modified exercise forms to prevent hernias. He also advises a modification to dumbbell rows. Avoid twisting movements under load (ab twists, woodchoppers) and obviously crunch type stuff.
/r/MarriedRedPill19/09/18 10:37 AM
5

The military/Star-Trek-style, formal chain-of-command view of leadership is actually deeply blue-pill I was ready to shout "MRP HERETIC! BURN HIM" as I read that, but I think you nailed something important with this comment.. Particularly since so many guys here seem to have started out as socially awkward Trekkies, and probably take the metaphor in the wrong way.
/r/MarriedRedPill19/09/18 10:25 AM
3

Monks swear off women. They are concerned only with their own spiritual development and that of their community (in your case: family). That should point you in the right direction. (Just ignore those ones that swear off women and go bugger altarboys, that's not quite what is meant.) There's also probably a shitload of posts on TheRedPill sub about what monk mode means. If I was being an asshole I'd just tell you to fucking google it. But in the interest of sharing knowledge about how to google …
/r/askMRP16/09/18 12:37 AM
1

LOL. Thanks & keep at it.
/r/askMRP15/09/18 01:39 PM
7

> How is going rambo even relevant to TRP? "Consider how stupid the average person is. Now realize half of them are stupider than that." - George Carlin
/r/askMRP15/09/18 02:18 AM
3

> since directly telling her to stop didn’t work So you're finally figuring out that you can't change other people. You can only change yourself, and even that can be difficult at times. Years of habit can be slow to turn around. > the real problem is compulsive eating. There are a couple of great dissection videos [1,2] [NSFW] on youtube of human cadavers with ridiculous amounts of visceral fat. Maybe 22 minutes total. Watch them and listen to the doctor's comments on the problems that the fat …
/r/askMRP14/09/18 12:18 PM
14

> Of course, being weak, I ate 3/4 of it. You could always choose not to eat 3/4 of a big greasy pizza. That could have been like a week's worth of preworkout carbs. > Now that I’ve gotten close to my wife’s weight, I'm almost scared to ask if you look like tinkerbell, or if your wife is shaped like an RV. Something ain't right here. > Tonight, she brings home a meat pizza “just for daddy.” "Daddy's got some meat for you too, baby"
/r/askMRP14/09/18 03:29 AM
16

I missed the part where you exhibit qualities that make you worth submitting to. Other than just your penis.
/r/askMRP14/09/18 12:57 AM
1

Holding my breath and really activating my core during squats has helped a lot. Not sure if you mean holding your breath or actually bracing, if you're not sure check out this and/or this . > meditating 15 mins every day and it's mostly frustrating, in a good way. Hehe. It can be brutal to realize that "you" don't really have control of your mind like you thought you did. When you get frustrated, just examine the frustration - it's just another thought like all the others, maybe some physical co…
/r/MarriedRedPill11/09/18 07:43 PM
2

> So now I have some choices to make. Let it go, confront it and reek of mate guarding etc., or just burn the shit to the ground and nuke everything. Sounds like you have a lot of anger about this > I will burn this fucker to the ground. I know you heard me when we talked the other day but just to make sure its totally clear, I am moving forward with or without you. Yeah, lots of anger > literal primordial porn star sex Sounds like your wife likes anger. Or at least getting on the feelz train. D…
/r/MarriedRedPill11/09/18 07:32 PM
2

> I read Screamfree Parenting I thought I recognized the style of the quotes you dropped. I think it's a solid book, read it many years ago. > my viewpoint that a relationship should be more balanced. I'm not saying 'equal' here How about equal in the sense that you both act in a way congruent to your biological nature, that you both suffer consequences for your actions, that you both are responsible for not being total fuckups as human beings, that you're both autonomous independent people with…
/r/MarriedRedPill11/09/18 07:24 PM
2

> however, there is not a quantifiable way to prove it There's something to be said for this approach to making decisions in life. However, if you believe that is the only way to make decisions and can't figure out what YOU actually WANT in life, then I'm thinking you should probably skip both marriage/women thing entirely and skip children especially. Save yourself and your future family and some poor girl a world of hurt.
/r/askMRP10/09/18 01:43 PM
2

> But it's hard when I've been operating this way for 17 yrs. Evidently so, since > I'm trying to build up a consistent track record of working out so I can easily overcome the wife's objections to me paying to go to the gym or buying a weight system for home. you need to ask mommy's permission to lift weights It looks like you're more or less aware of how messed up things are, so I won;t hammer you much more on that. > I've slowly started adopting the attitude of "I'm going to turn this into a …
/r/MarriedRedPill10/09/18 01:47 AM
2

You may not be a fall down drunk. But the fact is that your drinking (and related codependency issues) cost you your first marriage, decades of child support, almost cost you your current relationship last year and seems to have killed it this year. Those are simple facts. Now tell me again that alcohol is not a problem.
/r/askMRP08/09/18 04:22 PM
1

> specifically mentioned co-habitation as the point where a relationship goes downhill. Cohabitation. Marriage. Having kids. All classic tipping points. ​
/r/askMRP08/09/18 04:20 PM
1

It's not just that you messed up by doing shots. You messed up by demonstrating to her that you are the exact opposite of all the things she's been looking for in a man (as do all women): reliable, trustworthy, stable, able to be her protector rather than her baby, able to take care of your own shit, not being an obvious fucking retard, etc. Plus you've evidently done this often enough in the past that she knows this isn't a one-of incident. Can't say I blame her for not being excited about the …
/r/askMRP08/09/18 01:23 PM
2

Dom speaks the gospel.
/r/askMRP07/09/18 07:15 PM
1

Individual therapy is great; I fully support it. The reason couples counseling gets shit on in MRP/TRP circles is basically what Rian_stone laid out: a way to ease her guilt before she walks, or another stick she can use to try to beat you into submission with the aid of a third party. It appears that a large proportion of couples counselors are very bluepill and new-agey will generally side with the wife. If the therapist doesn't play nice and has the audacity to point out the wife's role in cr…
/r/askMRP07/09/18 06:25 PM
2

I can identify with this a little since I went through some similar stuff a decade ago. The reason you keep hearing STFU in the responses is that it's an excellent strategy. You know that quote "Better to keep you mouth shut and be thought a fool than open it an remove all doubt."? Yeah, that's STFU. Also, in therapy the basic idea is to communicate lots so your therapist can see what your thought patterns are and help challenge the ones that are off. That belongs in counseling sessions behind c…
/r/askMRP07/09/18 05:35 PM
2

So... you married a woman with abandonment issues, who grew up lacking the model of a stable healthy marriage. And now she sits there, putting the same level of effort into her own marriage that her mother seemingly put into hers. Zero. And of course when she hangs out with old women, she hears about menopause and it's a great excuse to reduce the level of investment in your marriage even further without having to bear any accountability for it. 'It's just how nature works, not my fault." See ho…
/r/askMRP06/09/18 07:40 PM
2

How is your parents and wife's parent marriage? Did either pair of parents model a trainwreck of a relationship for you guys? That life of silent desperation, blatant unhappiness and quarreling, the despair of dreams gone down the toilet "for the sake of the kids"? I'm going to guess there was a lot of that. And now look how that turned out. But hey, if there's one thing to learn from history it's that it's dead easy to repeat it.
/r/askMRP06/09/18 05:22 PM
1

A man honors his promises no matter how far in the future It's just one of those ways in which men and women are fundamentally different. To men a promise is a promise, to a woman it's just a fleeting emotion. There's a continuum of course, some women tend to be more like men and some have the needle pegged in the emotional red-zone all day long. But on average, that's the tendency. That's not to say you can't hold your woman accountable for what she does and says, but you have to recognize for …
/r/MarriedRedPill05/09/18 02:33 PM
2

she wanted to give me a blowjob "in a couple days" You do know that there's no such thing as a sex promise, right? You've heard that rule about whatever a woman says, add "... right now" to the end of the sentence? That's just what she was feeling AT THAT MOMENT. Probably feeling a little guilty and wanting to placate you without actually having to do anything, so she throws out that line. Any time you take "promised future sex" as a sure thing and sit around waiting for it, be it that fuck afte…
/r/MarriedRedPill05/09/18 01:07 PM
1

There's truth to that for sure.
/r/MarriedRedPill05/09/18 12:29 PM
1

Stats: 49 yo, 6'2, 223, 20% bf, dead 325x10/405x2, bench 225x7, skwaat 335. Second marriage, two kids from first marriage in university now. Mechanical stuff: Lifting is going OK. I bought a slingshot (Mark Bell's thingamabob) for bench and I fucking love that thing. I can rep out 225x12 with it for multiple sets. Of course some beast sets up beside me tonight with his slingshot and hits 385x3. Goddamn. Humbling. Diet has been more on point than ever before. I'm a bit of a excel geek so I crafte…
/r/MarriedRedPill05/09/18 03:24 AM
1

> Starting with 15 mins of samatha meditation. Great stuff. Now observe the thoughts that went into the paragraph you wrote about the meditation. Implicit in there is the idea that this is some kind of Big Deal. And that the wife is going to Have Something To Say About It. You had to take a stance (STFU rather than DEER, but in your own mind, a stance still) to her about doing it. Then she framed it to you as Some Kind of Problem and you started to buy into that narrative, then you had second th…
/r/MarriedRedPill04/09/18 07:02 PM
3

DOMS is just DOMS, mainly from really hitting a muscle group hard that hasn't been hit in a while. It's a little different from general soreness after a good workout - much more intense, often to the level of "I can't sit down on the can or walk up stairs anymore" kind of intense. Not generally diet related AFAIK. Protein is good for building muscle - general advice for lifters is to aim for 0.8-1.0 grams per pound of bodyweight, regardless of whether you're trying to cut, bulk up, or stay at ma…
/r/MarriedRedPill04/09/18 05:26 PM
2

The DOMS usually hits a new muscle group that's not used to real resistance training and tends to fade out after that muscle group gets used to being worked. And for bench, google "roll of shame" to learn how to get out of a failed bench relatively safely. At least for low to mid level weight.
/r/MarriedRedPill04/09/18 03:40 PM
1

Two books: Culadasa/John Yates "The Mind Illuminated" and Dan Ingram's "Mastering the Core Teachings of the Buddha". Second is available as a free PDF if you google it. Both hardcore about meditation practice from beginner to realization of no-self in nitty gritty detail if you want to move beyond the new-agey "10 minutes of relaxation" kind of meditation.
/r/MarriedRedPill31/08/18 01:04 PM
5

OP: "I'm planning to stick my nuts in an industrial meat-grinder. Should I put some kind of antiseptic on my scrotum beforehand so I don't get an infection after the machine rips my nutsack from my body and my mangled testicles dangle, shredded, in the intake hopper?" Look, I get where you're coming from. I was in denial too when I was young and naive, and nobody could tell me not do do it. But look at it this way. You remember in Karate Kid, when Mr Miyagi says "Best defense against kick is not…
/r/askMRP30/08/18 02:44 AM
1

https://www.reddit.com/r/askMRP/comments/995mot/providing_comfort_without_being_beta_fixing_her/
/r/MarriedRedPill29/08/18 09:04 PM
9

NMMNG exposes some of the broken psychology that a journey through the red pill also tries to help fix. That being said, they're not the same thing. You've seen one obvious place where they don't line up. As far as "resolving" the conflict, consider that the general sneakiness Glover speaks of is part of shame, part of a covert contract to get sex, or some other unskillful behaviour. Simply not making a point of boasting or broadcasting the fact that you're trying to get your head and your life …
/r/askMRP29/08/18 02:35 PM
15

Don't go through with it.
/r/askMRP29/08/18 01:11 PM
5

LOL. I wouldn't even include family necessarily. Maybe you're luckier than some, though. I have two kids of my own, and my own father told me in blunt terms "I never asked for grandchildren, why the hell should I care about them?" There are degrees of caring, though. You have to realize that at the end of the day there is nobody, absolutely nobody, who has your best interests at heart better than yourself. Relying on someone else over yourself is a bad plan. Now that doesn't mean that everyone o…
/r/askTRP29/08/18 03:34 AM
5

This was pretty cool to read. I like how you remained collected and above it. Especially in a situation involving alcohol and this dude's huge ego and insecurity - typically a recipe for making things come to a head. > Had I got into a shouting match or fist fight with Beta Bob [...] A sobering thought for sure
/r/MarriedRedPill29/08/18 03:16 AM
3

accounts are usually empty before next salary comes in. Part of the problem is probably that we both buy stuff independently Can't see any low hanging fruits at the moment. ​ You sure about that low hanging fruit part? But I know, putting your foot down feels uncomfortable, so, I guess paycheck to paycheck it must remain. ​
/r/MarriedRedPill28/08/18 03:39 PM
2

> I learned that I need to know what I want And keep in mind that there's nothing wrong with wanting a ONS. Desire for sex has been hardwired into your DNA ever since sexual reproduction evolved zillions of years ago. > maintain frame around what I want and the goals that proceed from that. Solid perspective.
/r/askTRP28/08/18 02:54 PM
3

So is this her guilting you into the path of bf/LTR/provider, or just your inbuilt feminine imperative programming doing it for you?
/r/askTRP28/08/18 02:44 AM
2

I've been practicing for around two years, roughly an hour a day. Somewhere in TMI stages 4-5. I'd say it's helped remove a lot of rough edges and reactivity from my personality. TRP is a knowledge base, and the combination of not being as strongly driven by reactive desire and an understanding of the way men and women actually operate in the world seems to be a pretty powerful combination for directing your own life. Also check out the "themindilluminated" sub if you don't already know about it…
/r/askTRP24/08/18 03:25 PM
2

> The whole lifting philosophy is pretty much opposite to the yoga/spiritual philosophy Consider for a moment the fact that average men tend to be around 1.25 the size of average women (ignoring the USA obesity epidemic, think evolution here). Greater strength was an evolutionary adaptation for improved success by competing with other males for access to women for reproduction. Now I'm not saying go out and start fights over club sloots, but consider that there's no better way to embrace the tru…
/r/askTRP23/08/18 04:14 PM
2

Don;t think in terms of weight, think in terms of bodyfat. If you start to actually put on muscle you may find your weight will increase even though waist measurements and bodyfat go down. Sounds like you've been listening to "big compunds are all you need" advice. There's some truth but I think there's a little more to it. Well, your body is designed for various muslces to operate in opposition/with tension from an antagonist. Your arm for example is useful because you can both flex (biceps) an…
/r/askTRP23/08/18 02:31 PM
5

> Jerk off more faggot. That's OK for golfer's elbow, but for tennis elbow you'll want to use reverse grip - pinky towards the tip.
/r/askMRP23/08/18 02:52 AM
1

Check out Paul Elam on youtube - "An Ear for Men" he has some stuff on borderlines.
/r/askTRP22/08/18 07:08 PM
1

Regarding vetting her: emotional drama, screaming matches with mother. Definite red flags. You have pretty low standards to invite this into your life. Blue pill says "has vagina, therefore virtuous and unconditionally the prize". Red pill says you are the prize, and that you don't commit to LTR unless she is a decent woman, well behaved, loyal, and so on. Sure, that rules out 99% of women, but why would you want to spend the next X year of your life fighting drama and fending off shouting match…
/r/askTRP22/08/18 06:16 PM
15

> sent me a photo of her crying with tears down her face... LMAO. Blatant manipulation > I also worry she could escalate to self harm etc. This is either a signal about how deep rooted you general anxiety and insecurity levels (which is something you can work on over the next while), or an opportunity for you to reflect on the reason people say "don't negotiate with terrorists". > Total time together 6+ months. Lived together for 3 months or so... very intense time. Oh boy. Overlooked this the f…
/r/askTRP22/08/18 03:40 PM
2

> At this point all my wife has to go on is my shitty behavior from the past > Where I am stuck is the resentment and I hate it. So it's a match made in heaven. You're both stuck in exactly the same place - holding onto the past. And of course that has all sorts of self-perpetuating energy. So what are you going to do to break the loop? Not that it's easy... I'm working on some of the same shit. > LoA is really Stoicism for women. So it's like Stoicism, where you just take away reason and accoun…
/r/MarriedRedPill21/08/18 07:24 PM
2

I was just thinking if my wife suddenly started ... a.k.a. rationalizing your insecurities
/r/MarriedRedPill21/08/18 07:07 PM
3

Congrats of quitting the cigarettes, that's huge. Having a hard time putting on weight, I eat a shit ton of calories, hitting 160g of protein almost daily and still not really gaining weight. I'm hoping the new work out will assist in this regard. Unlikely. You just need more food. The best analogy I've heard is like construction: lifting puts in the work order, food provides the raw materials, and rest/sleep is where the building actually happens. Food both builds and lets you recover better. A…
/r/MarriedRedPill21/08/18 04:30 PM
3

> Bench 405 [...] My bench is bad. Normie here. Suck it. LOL. > I do not believe it is possible to make money on martial arts and still remain true to your art. Pretty sure the main revenue stream of most north american dojos is the kids - you know, parents want their kids in soccer, swimming, and karate. Whether the kids gives a shit or not. Generally turns into cross between skills practice and herding cats, not training the deep facets of the art. You need a lot of patience and ability with k…
/r/MarriedRedPill21/08/18 04:21 PM
8

> her mother says that means I’m either cheating or planning to cheat > but even though this is a “shit test” her question is reasonable > fear of being judged. Firstly, are you kidding me? That the only possible reason a person would want to go to the gym is that they want to cheat? That's not only unreasonable, but says a lot more about your wife's (and her family's) myopic attitude that about any hidden motives you have. I mean, sure, it happens, but I don't go down to my gym every other day …
/r/MarriedRedPill21/08/18 01:06 PM
8

For your review and penance: Guide to managing your bitches Single mothers Yet more about single moms Best of luck to you
/r/askMRP19/08/18 09:09 PM
26

If I was your girlfriend's little girly friend, I'd sympathize with her over an appletini and express my dismay that you weren't falling into line like a good little boy and getting ready to move in together and wife her up. I might tell her that displaying some abundance and cranking up some higher level dread might get her mate back in line. Something like a vacation to see an old lover. And I'd suggest that in the shorter term, removing time and attention might help. Something along the lines…
/r/askMRP19/08/18 02:00 PM
4

You said you're down 45 lbs - if you're still cutting, you should know that typically bench is more sensitive than other lifts to body mass, so it follows that it's not going to grow as fast, if at all, in a deficit. If you're still getting newbie gains then maybe you're lucky and can still make some progress on a cut. Also, frequency and volume are your friends here. Most rapid improvement I've seen was when benching 3x/week. Lastly, make sure you're doing a full powerlifting style bench, not j…
/r/askMRP18/08/18 08:12 AM
1

I think I see your point. To paraphrase for my own understanding, you were providing value and stopped when she exhibited undesired behaviour. Removing your help was a clear loss to her, a negative consequence. In my case, I wasn't providing any value and removing my presence just removed an overly emotional suck. Got it.
/r/MarriedRedPill17/08/18 11:53 PM
1

Thanks for the link. I came to pretty much the same conclusion after ruminating on your earlier reply. Instead of responding to a tangible situation (alarm) I reacted to the perceived insult/trigger button. And then compounded things by executing poorly on a reply. The execution was a conscious decision but poor thinking process, while the choice of what to situation to focus on was instinctive or subconscious (as well as being a poor choice in and of itself). So I guess that unconscious reactio…
/r/MarriedRedPill17/08/18 07:25 PM
1

Goddamn you, you make me sound like a retard. Good summary though. I guess I can be kind of a moron. And yeah, the phases of life thing is real. In my twenties, the "events" were all weddings. A decade later they were kid's christenings or birthday parties. Eventually they will mostly become funerals.
/r/MarriedRedPill17/08/18 07:10 PM
1

> your response to the smoke alarm was gay as fuck. OK, point taken. > you've taught her it's your button. you were a dumbass; and she hit you with the biggest club she had You're right. In that moment I elected to see the jab about my kids as the issue that required my attention rather than dealing with the alarm. And then chose to execute on a poor response to the wrong issue. And to be honest I suppose I've also unconsciously programmed myself that the kid/stepmom/ex-wife thing is a major but…
/r/MarriedRedPill17/08/18 05:56 PM
1

You bring up some good points. Honestly, at that moment, the alarm did not bother me. I'm not sure why, since normally I'm in the same camp as you and it bugs the shit out of me. Truth is I don't have any recollection of a sense of any power play, just a simple expectation that she should be able to handle it as well as I would. why wouldn't you just say "It wasn't bothering me. I figured you'd handle it." The whole response of getting butthurt and sulking while eating wings AS A RESPONSE to shr…
/r/MarriedRedPill17/08/18 07:46 AM
1

Stats: 49 yo, 6'2, 225, 20% bf, dead 315x10/405x2, bench 225x7, skwaat 335. (Though I pulled 445 and squatted 350 a year ago... I fucked up my gainz by cutting too hard too fast). Plus working on rehabbing a shoulder injury. Finally on a crusade to kill those fucking love handles. "Powerbelly" my ass. Got married 20+ years ago, had kids, got divorced 10 years ago, total beta shitshow. Remarried 3 years, right around the time I found MRP. NMMNG hit me like a ton of bricks, and WISNIFG seemed like…
/r/MarriedRedPill17/08/18 04:08 AM
22

David Berkowitz: "I had to kill her. My duck told me she was the antichrist." But seriously. Meditation is the shit for dealing with stuff like this. Spend enough time just watching the thoughts and feelings that pop up at random in your head, without getting sucked into thinking them, and you start to realize they're all just shit. Well, maybe not all shit but you start to realize it's perfectly fine for thoughts to pop up, you can choose to just see them, then let them pass away without necess…
/r/MarriedRedPill17/08/18 02:00 AM
2

After I got divorced I spent five years caring for myself (and my kids once a week and alternate weekends). I cooked. I cleaned. I did laundry. I arranged and organized my living space, including painting and building bookcases. I paid all my bills, managed my finances, and maintained the garden too. And all this on top of a demanding senior level job. Guess what? I still had ample free time to train martial arts, relax, vacation, hit the beach, go biking, learn hobbies... I guess I'm just not s…
/r/MarriedRedPill07/08/18 11:19 PM
1

I think u/man_in_the_world nailed it. His characterization of holding grievances, bottling them up, then the segue into a big cathartic release reminded me of one of the primary patterns in my first marriage. Especially when you wrote this: > She closes off, broods, and gets reclusive. She started to feel resentful as a result. Which is basically her engaging in the very same pattern. This pattern leaves you both stuck running the same play over and over again, with predictable results. The othe…
/r/MarriedRedPill04/08/18 02:08 AM
24

I spent most of my twenties and thirties (Hell, a chunk of my forties too) figuratively hitting myself in the nuts with a ball peen hammer because I thought that's what was expected of me as the subservient partner to my "better half". As much as I appreciate Rollo for hitting the nail on the head, each and every time, when I read these posts I always wince a little when I'm reminded of how much my nuts hurt for all those years.
/r/MarriedRedPill02/08/18 02:35 AM
1

I've been trying to stay aware of it and simply stop doing it, first by specifically avoiding the action, but more importantly by mentally putting myself at the center of the conversation. When my kids say something to the group, it's not my wife they're talking to, it's me. When something is said, it's not my wife's reaction I need to worry about as much as my kids', or my own. a.k.a. Rollo's "Mental Point of Origin" . Good stuff. > For reasons of my own, I bought a truck this week. And along w…
/r/MarriedRedPill01/08/18 01:54 PM
1

> Wife is insistent that whatever new hobby I take up should be a "family" hobby that we can all participate in together. Women say the darndest things.
/r/MarriedRedPill31/07/18 03:03 PM
6

Check out symmetricstrength.com . It's a neat little site that will show you relative performance on the various lifts wrt a general population of lifters.
/r/MarriedRedPill31/07/18 02:59 PM
3

Anger phase comes in waves, at the start there's a lot of churn as new things come up. Observing yourself honestly is a pretty solid step. > I get angry when she challenges what I say This is pretty much the definition of ego protection, which is reactive as opposed to consciously responsive. I don't necessarily think ego and frame are mutually exclusive, but I certainly believe that building one while decreasing the other is the path to take. > my BIL and his girlfriend. They fight a lot Funny,…
/r/MarriedRedPill31/07/18 01:26 PM
1

Are you addicted to your phone in general, or just b/c of this girl? In any case, you know what to do. If you're a reader, there's a book "Deep Work" which has some good ideas for organizing your life to achieve this. Abundance: you talked about getting lots of strange in the past, just remember that if you got this one you can get another one. After I divorced, I spent years as a single nice guy, and when I first discovered the manosphere I remember making out with three new women in one week a…
/r/MarriedRedPill27/07/18 03:23 PM
2

I've always had that compelling need to 'get to the bottom' of whatever has my wife upset Next time, channel that compelling need to dig deep into your own self instead of her, look for what makes you anxious, then decompose that further until you see clearly that it's just your programming reacting to a thought. Then let it go. Easier said than done, I know. Meditation has really let me see how much of what I do is just programming and reaction, and let me decouple a lot of those fears from the…
/r/MarriedRedPill27/07/18 02:16 PM
2

I browsed your history a bit and a couple things became clearer. You said 29 yo and been together 10 years. So you started the relationship as basically children and most likely locked in whatever pattern you started with. Patterns at 19 are probably based on your parents, and you said your mother had serious mental health issues. Suicidal people have a way of making the rest of us jump through hoops to make sure they're always doing OK... any of this sound familiar in your marriage? If any of t…
/r/MarriedRedPill27/07/18 01:03 AM
4

FR#1 : Yeah, the tea thing is nonsense. There was a guy here a few years ago who showed up with this story about how his wife was a bitch, everything was going to hell, she treated him like shit, but he was always "nice" to make her a smoothie every morning. LOL. Look, despite all the advice that everything is about fixing you and none should be about her, the reality is that you're living in a context, in an environment that includes your wife. And everything you do is either overt or sublimina…
/r/MarriedRedPill25/07/18 02:55 PM
1

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XXjaCsUlrZs Same guy (Athlean-X) has a few more vids on elbow stuff too you might want to check out. Super common, I've had it come and go through the years too.
/r/MarriedRedPill24/07/18 07:07 PM
1

> I didn’t know this level of crazy existed. Welcome to the desert of the real.
/r/TheRedPill24/07/18 03:13 PM
1

Your lifts will go up and down with weight, for sure. Bench seems most susceptible to cutting. But in the TRP context, lifting is for maximizing your SMV. I have a much better SMV being down 20 lbs bodyweight with a 415 deadlift than I do with a rolly poly tummy and a 455 deadlift. If you want to explore 190, try doing a really slow lean bulk with an increase in hypertrophy work. Small deficit, not just "gimme an extra double quarter pounder with cheese" every day. As far as your attitude to you…
/r/MarriedRedPill20/07/18 09:11 PM
1

Good writeup. Hell of a ride :-) As far as mission, I think part of what you're describing is a vision of work life balance. I'd start by asking why you got married in the first place - was it because you liked spending time with her, because you wanted kids, because...whatever. If that desire still holds, ask how you can enjoy that part of your life while balancing with a hard working career. As much as I enjoy doing my own think and creating stuff in my field of expertise, I still enjoy spendi…
/r/MarriedRedPill20/07/18 09:00 PM
1

So far you're getting a mix of "ditch her" and "you're doing things right but tread carefully". I read two huge red flags here: alcohol and money. I married women with both troubles and can speak from experience. Red Fucking Flags. These red flags are giant open-pit gravel quarries built in quicksand. You're standing at the edge, saying to us "look at me, with my new redpill outlook I see the big hole and I'm not going to fall in". Yeah, not until the soil collapses around you. But hey, at least…
/r/MarriedRedPill20/07/18 08:47 PM
1

> How else can you really implement consequences? Consequences are actual actions. Talking is not an action. Talking without following up with actions just demonstrates that your talking means nothing.
/r/askMRP20/07/18 02:55 PM
1

+1 for the advice above. I'd also suggest that if you have an injury in one place you can train around it instead of through it - if my shoulders are getting bad for example I'll lay off the pullups and bench and do more deads and back work for the week. It may not be optimal but it keeps me in the gym and feeling like I'm making progress. Also I stumbled across an awesome video that gives some good perspective on BJJ as you get older: https://youtu.be/FGk_urw1_hA . Kind of long but a lot of wis…
/r/askMRP16/07/18 02:48 PM
1

A couple points: > getting hard no s right now with “see what it’s like when you won’t help me out” Oooh, my favorite part: blatant weaponization of sex. If you tolerate this at all it sets a precedent that this behavior is acceptable. You don't get what you deserve in life, you get what you put up with. A lot of the guys get to the point where the conversation is basically "I'm a human being and I expect to have my sexual needs met. I'm willing to give you the first crack at that." Then let the…
/r/askMRP13/07/18 02:20 PM
2

Sounds like you want this wedding, and are willing to do actual work to make it a success. She, on the other hand, sounds like she wants it in a "I saw this is a magazine and it's pretty and I want it but as soon as there's any work to do I'd rather just go shopping with Jess" kind of way. You cannot force her to want something. So either you're not the prize here, or she's a dumb lazy oblivious fuck. Option 1 leads to a shitty deadbedroom marriage, option 2 leads to a shitty marriage too. Why a…
/r/askMRP13/07/18 02:28 AM
2

> disrespect boundary Well, technically it's *you* interpreting her clothes habit as disrespect, which may or may not mirror what she actually thinks. And boundaries shouldn't be about just feelings or things she may or may not think. But I digress. You want respect? Be a man worthy of respect. You can't demand respect and punish when she doesn't give it (or give it sincerely enough). But you can enforce a boundary of not tolerating shit behavior, which is what the clothes example is. First step…
/r/askMRP11/07/18 05:59 PM
3

Jumping in here, you need to read this great post on boundaries: https://www.reddit.com/r/marriedredpill/comments/2vr5ih/how_to_build_boundaries_during_your_transition/ You're fundamentally misunderstanding boundaries. They're not about drawing a line in the sand then trying to force other people not to cross it. It's about drawing the line and then, if anyone crosses it, you act in the way that furthers your best interests in the situation and also demonstrates that you respect yourself enough …
/r/askMRP11/07/18 02:05 PM
2

Snarky passive aggressive comments to defend your ego. Doesn't play that well to random internet strangers, how's that working out for you in real life? Your top level comment is full of stuff happening to you that you're just letting it happen - no plan to improve your mental health/recover from PTSD/see a counsellor. No plan to avoid overconsuming alcohol while you plan to go to wine tastings. Your wife doesn't even speak the language where she lives? What's the plan there, champ? And falling …
/r/MarriedRedPill10/07/18 10:12 PM
1

I picked up Whalen's book you mentioned. Just got to the point where he tells the reader the reason his wife is being a bitch is because said reader isn't doing enough date nights and foot rubs. I'm hoping the activity planning advice is better than the relationship advice. Amazing how deep the blue runs.
/r/MarriedRedPill10/07/18 09:23 PM
3

squats Check out https://www.t-nation.com/training/third-world-squat . If you can't hit past parallel this should help ankle and ham/glute range of motion. I usually just use my rest intervals when doing sets of deadlifts to sit in this pose for a minute or so.
/r/MarriedRedPill03/07/18 07:19 PM
3

Girl getting two guys to fight over her? It's such a classic pattern in female psychology there's a whole description of it in Berne's psychology book "Games People Play" from the 1960's IIRC. The pattern was called 'Let's you and him fight".
/r/TheRedPill03/07/18 03:11 PM
2

people pleaser won’t say NO. There's a reason the book "When I Say No I Feel Guilty" is on the sidebar
/r/MarriedRedPill03/07/18 02:48 PM
3

But what about the legal difference? Is she going to get half your house and life savings? Not that it matters that much... spending another few decades trapped by your own decision in a frigid unsatisfying life is worth spending pretty much anything to avoid.
/r/askMRP03/07/18 12:44 PM
1

General rule of thumb when you're a lifter: 0.8-1g of protein per day per lb of bodyweight. So at 190lbs, aim for 150-190g/day. This will be a whole new experience if you're used to eating just whatever (burgers, fries, chips, donuts, pasta, etc) since basically the only thing with significant protein is meat, fish, and protein shakes/bars. The average N American diet is so carb-heavy it's insane, so replace the calories you used to get from bread, etc with calories from protein. Protein shakes …
/r/MarriedRedPill27/06/18 06:35 PM
1

So it's awesome that you pushed your boundaries and stepped out of your comfort zone to go on the trip and have some new experiences. Now you can check a few more of those boxes for must-have wild and crazy experiences of youth. That being said, being blackout drunk is, umm, highly suboptimal, and you want to keep that kind of stuff in check. The other thing I wanted to touch on is that, in a lot of ways, this sounds a bit like you're going crazy to do the exact opposite of where you came from, …
/r/MarriedRedPill26/06/18 08:46 PM
2

grip Also, the basics: use mixed grip, and chalk. Chalk is like 10 bucks for a couple blocks and will easily last a year or more. I have a hard time pulling 315 double overhand no chalk but can easily rack pull 525 chalk and mixed grip. Just keep it in a big ziplock and try not to get it everywhere - don't be that ass who leaves your station looking like you've spend the last hour snorting coke off some gym bunny's ass. The Ed Coan thing is good, also I do dumbbell farmer walks, just grab a pair…
/r/MarriedRedPill26/06/18 05:02 PM
2

Not sure if by "standard rubber plates" you mean bumper plates (which are always the same diameter but are wider the heavier they are, and are designed to be dropped and bounce safely), or rubber-coated iron plates. If the latter, the 15 kg plates may be a smaller diameter than 20 kg plates (aka "45 lbs" in the US), which will be disadvantageous for deadlifting since it will put the bar closer to the floor when you use smaller weights. Preferrably get some 20 kg plates for deads and just because…
/r/askMRP25/06/18 12:52 PM
2

Really enjoyed reading this. I recall your earlier post. You write pretty good for the soon-to-be testosterone-fuelled mouthbreathing gym-bro which is the ultimate goal of TRP (jk /s). It's not so much an OYS as a chronicle of your internal state as you take the journey. Right now you're Neo at the point where his face is turning into metal and he's freaking the fuck out. Or maybe the next day where he's all like "Why do my eyes hurt?" "Because you've never used them". So yeah, this whole thing …
/r/MarriedRedPill23/06/18 03:10 AM
2

> The crab bucket at home is not at all happy about the fact that I am now "in training." Feel the FEAR and do it anyway. It's an opportunity for you to face your fear and grow. One of my biggest regrets of my bluepill years was letting myself be nagged/guilted into giving up training for the better part of a decade after I had earned my black belt. And I have no one to blame but myself.
/r/MarriedRedPill15/06/18 11:45 PM
2

Re: shoulder pain - you should be doing rotator cuff work with every or every other workout. You can do 90% with just a ten dollar light resistance band - look up rotator cuff strengthening exercises on youtube, Athlean X channel has lots of good stuff on shoulders; the guy used to be a baseball player IIRC so he's big on that. And possibly stretches too - wall stretch, pec stretch, band dislocates. Speaking from some bad experiences, treat your shoulders right. Also, when OHP and benching, retr…
/r/MarriedRedPill15/06/18 11:41 PM
2

No, you misunderstand what DEERing is. You felt the need to DEER because you think she has the right to judge you and you don't have enough self confidence to disregard/be amused by someone else's contradictory judgement of your actions. DEERing isn't the inevitable result of you thinking she doesn't have a logical ground to make a solid case from, its the inevitable result of you acting like a frightened child when mommy scolds you.
/r/askMRP15/06/18 04:19 AM
1

Oh God, the midnight notes... an unpleasant flashback to my first marriage, Did Tuesday fuck you up for the week? No, but it clearly revealed your mindset and how that mindset then fucked up the rest of your week. Look, she said just two sentences. Just a few words. And from that, you were filled with so much rage that you needed to vent it in the gym, cut her off for what, three, four days, spiraled into late-night email/text/post it note arguments (Nooooo... don't hit SEND) , and not-so-veiled…
/r/askMRP12/06/18 03:38 AM
1

One: don;t waste your life trying to get into other people's heads, especially over some bullshit like this. Two: as a general rule, if it's one of those "hits you right in the feelz" statements that contains a passive aggressive guilt payload aimed at your core, it's just an emotion wrapped for plausible deniability in a rationalization.
/r/askMRP07/06/18 08:58 PM
1

Lawyer up ASAP. And at the very least do NOT put any of it into any kind of shared account (bank, stocks, etc) or anywhere that is used for household spending.
/r/askMRP07/06/18 08:53 PM
2

It's only his money until the state decides it's 50% hers.
/r/askMRP07/06/18 08:51 PM
1

Well, 90% of wives and all children are a net financial negative as far as I can tell. The question is, are you getting any value from the resources you're investing? With kids, arguably the value is life richness and continuation of your lineage. With her, ....?
/r/askMRP07/06/18 04:45 PM
2

You could also interpret "just the way you are" as: being an imperfect human, just like the rest of us, with the same potential to crawl out of your mess that the rest of us do. I mean, my ego likes to think that I'm way better than you (hah!), but when it comes down to it, we're both just meat bodies run 90% by unconscious conditioned thought, so why should either of us feel more or less instrinsically worthy of respect than the other? I think that's what Glover is getting at. Also, note that N…
/r/askMRP04/06/18 11:24 PM
2

The key is that NMMNG is talking about validation as an unhealthy, needy emotional drive to get your sense of self-worth from others. If you feel like a loser unless you get complements on your clothes, if you feel ashamed of your body unless people ask if you've started lifting, etc. Simple approval, on the other hand, isn't necessarily tied to your intrinsic sense of self worth. Getting someone to buy into your business plan or agree that you have qualifications for your job is a necessary par…
/r/askMRP04/06/18 11:18 PM
12

Jesus Christ. Get a handle on your drinking. Get a handle on your anger. And your fucking ego. That's all this post really is - your ego and your anger can't deal with this. I'm assuming there's a lot they probably can't deal with. This deep seated anger probably leads to the drinking at some level too. You created this entire shitstorm. You hang out with dudes who "do a little gay stuff" with the bf, put yourself in the position of being blackout drunk with them and this bf, and instead of doin…
/r/askMRP04/06/18 02:20 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

© TheRedArchive 2026. All rights reserved.
created by /u/dream-hunter