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Reddit_P2E_Seeker Archive

View 0 posts and 32 comments by Reddit_P2E_Seeker on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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2

I have toddlers (4 and 5) on a 2-2-3-2-2-3 schedule. Sometimes even the 5 year old thinks it is too much changing back and forth. Around 8 or 9 is when I'd start determining if 5-5-2-2 or just go week on week off. Also, I've read that it helps (mentally) if they don't have to worry about remembering anything other then phone and wallet (tablet, Nintendo, backup shoes, etc). My kids don't have the same toys between houses, but I'm not sure what that looks like at 9. They have scooters at my place…
/r/Divorce_Men12/11/25 05:36 AM
4

I would also recommend a calendar, the biggest desk calendar you can. Place it on the wall within they sight. I color (in the horizontal-middle of the day) blue crayon on my days. If it's a transition day, I color the left side of the bar or right side, depending on pickup or drop-off. That way, that can simply look there to know what's coming up. I "x" out old days. Gives them a visual of their schedule. Also, charts for rituals. I have a bedtime chart, with pictures and words, for bedtime (fee…
/r/Divorce_Men13/10/25 05:15 PM
5

Minus those last two paragraphs, and upgrading the tumor to cancerous, my book was damn near identical. I feel you. Be there for your boys. You will find so much joy there. They will yearn for you to be present. I buy crap toys at thrift stores, give them a dollar when they clean rooms all the way, go for bicycle and scooter rides, take them to the park. They will ask for fancy toys but make do with the ones we have, especially building blocks, magnet tiles, and train tracks. I've literally been…
/r/Divorce_Men13/10/25 03:44 PM
1

I'm one of the few people I know with a large living space, so I'm inviting all my friends over, a few from out of state.
/r/Divorce_Men08/10/25 03:36 PM
1

This is what I'm hoping for
/r/Divorce_Men08/10/25 03:29 PM
3

Sounds less like a parenting problem and more like an adult problem. I just parent the kids during my time and presume they are safe during hers. I schedule doctor visits during mine and make sure that we share all birthday invites. With two toddlers, we have seen each other maybe a dozen times in 8 months. Exchanges happen via after school care versus actual handoff.
/r/Divorce_Men08/10/25 05:47 AM
1

I'm not OP, sorry.
/r/Divorce_Men06/10/25 06:34 PM
1

I've heard mixed results about state laws and prenups. Never bothered to check. As for me, I'm in a great place. 19 months left and there was a written -in step-down (different from modifiable alimony) if she got to a certain pay bracket by this date (she did). Que sera, sera. I get my kids a little more than 50% due to extracurricular stuff like therapy and birthday parties, so I'll take the win. Money can always come back, kids never get younger.
/r/Divorce_Men06/10/25 06:15 PM
1

I'm not in that age bracket so I'm not sure. For me, I had just doubled my salary before divorce and she was part time, so alimony was 1600 a month (AZ says duration is 1/3 to 1/2 marriage length) for 27 months. I could have gone for 36 months at 1200, but I wanted an accelerated closure.
/r/Divorce_Men06/10/25 05:49 PM
1

AZ even has a website for automatic alimony calculation, at least for the largest county in the state. They only give lifetime alimony with what they call the rule of 65 - if the age of the person plus length of marriage is over 65, then lifetime alimony may apply
/r/Divorce_Men06/10/25 02:24 PM
2

I'm in AZ, who uses a literal spreadsheet. Combine monthly income (100k, 50k) to determine child's monthly need (1k), then ratio on income to determine your intended contribution to the child. (67, 33 means 670,330) Take that monthly child need (1k), and ratio based on custody time (50,50 means 500,500). That is your current contribution. Subtract current contribution (500) from intended contribution (670,330) to get support (170, -170). Stuff like daycare gets lumped in the monthly need and you…
/r/Divorce_Men04/10/25 03:11 PM
2

I did some soul searching about marriage and realize that I'm of the belief that it makes sense to create a foundational environment for kids (in principle) and for taxes. At this point, I'll pay taxes.
/r/Divorce_Men04/10/25 03:00 PM
5

Kept mine solely because her name wasn't on the mortgage and she couldn't afford to buy my share. She has plans to until the lawyer explained those facts to her.
/r/Divorce_Men04/10/25 02:57 PM
2

This is where I'm at. If my kids ask about their uncles and grandparents, I'll reach out to those persons, but I'm not going to go hang out with her family. After 15 years, the sever seems to be absolute for me. No big loss though, honestly.
/r/Divorce_Men30/09/25 06:19 PM
1

Mine asked this but it was actually him asking to have alone time with a parent. Since we both work, the kids are a bundle and never really get alone time. I try to make"dad days" every few months where I take one kid out of school for a day with Dad, then the other brother gets it the following week.
/r/Divorce_Men19/08/25 04:41 PM
2

Same! I'll have the occasional weekend night free every two weeks but that's about it.
/r/Divorce_Men13/08/25 03:59 AM
2

I view life as the longest trip of life to get my kids. When my kids are with me, I'm dad and Superman. When I drop them off, I have cleaning, errands, playdates, reading, exercise, cooking, Goodwill shopping, and now I'm practicing baking cookie cakes for their birthday. She is their mom and the most consistent yet expensive(for the rest of alimony) babysitter. As long as the survive with her and don't feel unloved, then I'm confident in their care while I work on me during the childless time.
/r/Divorce_Men01/08/25 01:47 PM
2

Met 11th grade, dates until we were 27, then married. Couple years later, 2 kids followed immediately by her getting a cancer diagnosis. After recovery, we went to marriage counseling. 6 months later, she wanted out. I went through all the stages of grief, everything you read. Agreed to divorce in November, she moved out 4 months later. Once she was out, I had lingering feelings; stayed in therapy to keep good progress. It's now been 5 months since she moved out. I'm staying busy (50% custody pl…
/r/Divorce_Men26/07/25 03:01 AM
2

Or just be single? Don't drop the gf for a chance at an ex. Either drop both or persevere with the gf.
/r/Divorce_Men12/07/25 09:59 PM
7

Yup. My ex was diagnosed with breast cancer 6 months after our 2nd was born (2 under 2). I raised them, kept a clean home, enriched their lives, cared for her, cooked. All while working full time. When she was doing what everyone here was mentioning (distancing and cold shoulder), she mentioned that, during chemo, she felt like a checklist item instead of my wife and has held it against me. That and not being supportive of her becoming a co-breadwinner 7 years prior to the split. And now she tal…
/r/Divorce_Men12/07/25 09:56 PM
1

I used one they works Scottsdale and East valley. She was really good and was always trying to stay ahead of possibilities. DM if you'd like her name.
/r/Divorce_Men11/07/25 08:44 AM
5

My ex (wife at the time) got breast cancer. It was rough raising two boys (6m and 2y) through that. Show your kids what it means to show up, but keep boundaries. I tell nyself all "I'm helping the kids mom" instead of thinking about her as an ex/wife/lover/etc. Since cancer coming back is always a concern, I have a dedicated friend as my sanity check and referee to call me out if I overextend helping her.
/r/Divorce_Men09/07/25 12:13 AM
4

1.5 months since DDay, 4.5 months since she moved out, 9 months since we decided to split. I'm living what this guy is talking about. Even my brother has a copy of my custody calendar just to know the guaranteed-No days, but, even then, I have stuff planned for the whole month. At first it was rough, but now I'm so joyous. My therapist recommended scaling back to EOW since I'm on a good path. I'm a whippersnapper (34) but still living the principle and don't care to add a woman to the mix unless…
/r/Divorce_Men08/07/25 11:35 PM
2

Just make your partner as happy as possible. If she is spreading lies, then he is on her mind. The best revenge is for her not to be in his.
/r/Divorce_Men06/07/25 03:21 AM
1

Yeah, I miss some days. I spend the away time doing self care, friends, cleaning, grocery runs, meal prep, etc. When I do get the boys, I'm excited to see them and they get my attention.
/r/Divorce_Men12/06/25 05:06 PM
3

The day of celebration is when and what you make it.
/r/Divorce_Men09/06/25 06:23 PM
5

Honestly, the cancer thing happened exactly the same for me. I know your pain and am sorry you had to go through it. 8 months of chemo with 2 kids under 2. 15 years, half our lives. You're a good man.
/r/Divorce_Men24/05/25 05:13 AM
5

Know that you aren't alone. I'm in give or take the same boat. Hang in there!
/r/Divorce_Men24/05/25 05:08 AM
1

It sounds like you are trying to own the decision and the worry. This is something she is going to have to soul-search about. It's the sucky part of being in our stage of life, but, for the sake of your kids and her own lifelong happiness, it's something she has to think about and decide. This is just a facet of our new lives: we don't introduce our kids early, to keep them safe from abandonment, yet any childless partners might not realize the implications of dating a parent. We just all have t…
/r/Divorce_Men20/05/25 12:28 PM
1

What I've read from divorce books is this: She needs to work with the kids to define what all four of them see as her role and then see if she can be happy with that. If she can't, then that's okay - better to be honest now than create a situation down the road that could impact the kids more. If she can be happy with the definition, all the better. Coming from the childs perspective of a stepmom who tried to replace, it didn't go well. I also saw a stepmom who ended in more of an Aunt position …
/r/Divorce_Men19/05/25 08:02 PM
1

In the end, either you two agree what to do with the house or a judge will. If you both want it but can't agree who buys out who, then a judge will say "split the baby and sell the house", then you both have to move out. At that point, it's your call whether you both live in it until the sale. As for who pays until the sale, it comes down to agreement. For instance, I paid so that alimony didn't overlap, as she would have needed alimony to pay half the mortgage while trying to save for her own p…
/r/Divorce_Men19/05/25 04:25 PM
2

In AZ, it's 50/50 unless a parent can prove the other is truly a problem (drugs, alcohol, abuse, etc). They see equal parenting as in the best interests of the child. Honestly, it always comes back to "best interests of the child". Just stick to what you can argue within that framework. Consistent home they've known while divorce happens? That is seen as best interest of the child. Not moving? Also best interest. Equal time? Usually best interest. Don't know how Michigan is but wanted to give my…
/r/Divorce_Men18/12/24 03:33 AM
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