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Relevant-Key4610 Archive

View 5 posts and 66 comments by Relevant-Key4610 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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1

You are the smartest comment...Its already happening with or without me in the house. Its pathetic and sucks balls. Seeing all the people that I have helped in my life all of a sudden, disappear and became shadows working behind my back...it sucks
/r/Divorce_Men07/06/26 09:30 PM
1

We did for an extended period. But tell me more about the moving out part. Im interested to learn if there's anything others have experienced and i havent thought of
/r/Divorce_Men06/06/26 02:49 AM
1

We did individual sessions and couples sessions for an extended period of time.
/r/Divorce_Men06/06/26 02:48 AM
3

The reasons are actually pretty simple. The marriage stopped working a long time ago. There wasn't some big betrayal, abuse, or dramatic event. We grew apart, became different people, and eventually reached a point where staying married was no longer the healthiest option for either of us. That said, I agree with you on one thing 100%: the kids carry the heaviest burden in a divorce. That's the part that has kept me up at night and the reason I didn't make this decision lightly. My biggest focus…
/r/Divorce_Men05/06/26 11:14 PM
1

It sucks the life out of someone. There are so many people out there stuck in the same dilemma. Its the fear of the unknown...but yes, no one should endure it
/r/Divorce_Men18/01/26 09:54 PM
2

I think i learned my lesson there...I cannot agree more with you...I am done feeling unloved and deprived
/r/Divorce_Men18/01/26 09:52 PM
3

I appreciate this perspective. The point about being vulnerable after years of neglect and how that can distort judgment really resonates, especially early on when everything feels intense and relieving at the same time. I’m trying to be mindful of not confusing need fulfillment with long term compatibility, and of slowing myself down enough to actually see patterns rather than just how something feels in the moment. The reminder to protect the kids as much as myself is an important one. Thanks …
/r/Divorce_Men16/01/26 04:30 AM
1

Thank you for sharing this. The part about your love tank being empty for years really hit home. I also appreciate the honesty about the post divorce relationship. It’s a powerful reminder that great chemistry and sex don’t equal a healthy or sustainable partnership, especially when there’s unresolved trauma and no accountability. It sounds like you made a hard but self respecting choice. That perspective is really helpful.
/r/Divorce_Men15/01/26 04:03 AM
2

Thank you so much for sharing. This is truly insightful, and I am truly sorry that your wife took the kids and did her move. This is not ok and should not be allowed...all I can say, is you should be proud of yourself for the decision you made, especially if you and your kids are happy now. My situation is very similar to yours, but I am not truly thinking of divorce becsuse of the other person. I am doing it because of myself...I am losing my health, my sense of relaxation, my life...I am not a…
/r/Divorce_Men15/01/26 03:50 AM
3

This is exactly how I feel...I have felt used, unloved, unwanted, for over 10 years...and at one point, I didn't know any better, until I found the new person. And we just clicked, life has been so much lighter and brighter with her..and that's when I knew how much time I've lost. I've always had cold feet, until recently decided to make the decision to choose myself
/r/Divorce_Men14/01/26 11:32 PM
2

I am so sorry abou that. How long have you been with the new partner? Its so shitty to go from one side of the fence, to find yourself in the same spot
/r/Divorce_Men14/01/26 11:30 PM
4

The best answer i was hoping for...
/r/Divorce_Men14/01/26 07:31 PM
1

You nailed it with unsolicited advice. People are dicks and want to see what once a good family, broken and devastated.
/r/Divorce_Men05/01/26 06:58 AM
1

Can you explain more the embarrassment piece?
/r/Divorce_Men30/12/25 07:55 PM
4

Listen man, life is not always fun. I don't know your story, and I don't know your situation...but I am here to tell you, that you are not alone. There's no man on this planet that should feel alone. Stay away from alcohol and drugs, they're just illusions...you'll end up hurting yourself accidently and you don't need that. Stay with folks, go to the gym, take a walk, go to an isolated place cry your heart out if you wish, scream or slam a few punches to a boxing bag...do what you need to do, le…
/r/Divorce_Men28/12/25 08:45 AM
1

This is not an option for her
/r/Divorce_Men27/12/25 11:43 PM
2

Im so so so sorry man. I don't know how this feels, but hang in there for your kids. Listen, I am learning this the hard way...let go of negativity and try to come to peace with it. At this stage, she's long gone...make sure she doesn't fuck up your finances and let her go. She obviously seems like a less than great women and even a worse mother...so let her go, focus on what matters (kids) and enjoy your life
/r/Divorce_Men27/12/25 06:57 PM
4

Jeez...this sucks. As shitty as it is, she is still the mother of your kids. I hope she gets better to support her kids emotionally. Anyhow, I am trying to keep resentment at minimum these days...it helps heal
/r/Divorce_Men27/12/25 06:44 PM
7

I’m going to share my story because I think it helps put things into perspective. Two years ago, I was in the same place, but with the roles reversed. I was the one asking for a divorce. I was the one constantly complaining about everything. And the truth is, I was having an affair. I had been married for a long time, but the relationship had been emotionally dead for more than half of it. I met someone else and ended up falling in love. Over time, I started seeing my marriage through a complete…
/r/Divorce_Men27/12/25 05:53 PM
6

You are a fucking heaven sent man... I have been suffering in my own head, because I am about to separate after the holidays and I can't spend a second not thinking about the repercussions on the kids...I have been feeling terrorized and broken. I need every positive word to hear and grasp to it
/r/Divorce_Men27/12/25 01:14 AM
1

Thanks for sharing. I am trying hard to make sure that this is the right decision...and if it is, which proves to be the case no matter how I look at it, I will try to keep their mom super close to me. I cannot be alive without the kids, and I need them ..so that would need to take alot of work between us (parents). I am glad you found the right thing for you
/r/Divorce_Men26/12/25 09:31 AM
3

This is what im feeling right now, but I am more determined on divorce than her. Which honestly makes it even harder for me... Been together 25 years and married for 16...2 kids and its been sucking the life out of me seeing my kids cry or shed a single tear because of this.... They have nothing to do with this, and my wife has been living in her own unreal world for the past 7 years...we tried last year and this year to work on our marriage and we always go back to square one. I am at the point…
/r/Divorce_Men26/12/25 09:29 AM
2

I get where you’re coming from, especially the distinction you make around infidelity versus growing apart. Cheating changes the equation completely. I also agree that if there’s no abuse or betrayal, it’s worth genuinely trying before walking away, for yourself and for the kids. At the same time, effort has to be mutual. One person carrying the marriage alone just delays the inevitable and adds more damage. I think the important part is being able to say you showed up fully and honestly before …
/r/Divorce_Men26/12/25 07:58 AM
2

Im sorry about that...nothing fixes a broken relationship, I learned that the hard way and still learning it...some things are never meant to be, and others are meant to be but not meant to remain...
/r/Divorce_Men25/12/25 09:03 PM
2

I love this...being around for the kids, having meals together and just doing all sort of activities for them...is what I want, I would consider myself lucky if I can get that. Thank you for sharing
/r/Divorce_Men25/12/25 08:44 PM
1

Thanks for sharing this. I agree that staying together only works if both people are truly willing to do the work. When that is not the case, getting yourself healthy and showing up consistently for your kids matters more than anything else. The firsts are hard and awkward, but kids notice effort, presence, and stability. I appreciate the honesty and I am glad to hear you are in a better place now.
/r/Divorce_Men25/12/25 08:42 PM
2

This is hard to read, I am trying to put myself in your shoes on the kids front and that's painful. Im sorry you went through this and I am sorry for your kids, since as you said they dont deserve anything other than love...this is sad. This is what I MUST avoid at all cost with my kids, even if I need to do unconventional methods...I cannot afford allowing them go through this type of hurt
/r/Divorce_Men25/12/25 08:40 PM
1

I have been thinking about this for so long, whether I should wait till my kids are older...and the older they get, I can see the bad influence we bring upon them...
/r/Divorce_Men25/12/25 08:33 PM
1

Tell me more please... Why is it the best holiday season and how long you've been solo?
/r/Divorce_Men25/12/25 07:29 PM
1

Thank you for sharing this. I really appreciate you taking the time to lay it all out, especially from the perspective of someone who actually lived it as a kid. If you don’t mind me asking, how old were you and your sister when your parents divorced? I’ll be honest with you your story both comforts me and scares me at the same time. It comforts me because it shows that divorce itself doesn’t automatically mean kids are damaged or feel unloved, especially when both parents handle it with maturit…
/r/Divorce_Men25/12/25 08:49 AM
2

This is actually the second time in just a few hours that someone has mentioned spirituality helping them, and it honestly caught my attention. I’ve been very far away from anything spiritual for a long time and kind of let myself drift without even realizing it. I don’t know what that looks like for me yet, and I’m not pretending I have answers, but hearing it come up more than once makes me pause and think maybe it’s something I shouldn’t dismiss so quickly. Even just the idea of grounding mys…
/r/Divorce_Men25/12/25 08:30 AM
1

Man… thank you for writing all of that. I can tell this isn’t theory for you, it’s lived experience. A lot of what you said hit close to home, especially the part about constantly anticipating her moves. That mental chess game is exhausting, but I get what you mean about the clarity that comes when you realize you weren’t crazy and you weren’t wrong about the patterns. When someone boxes you in for years, it really messes with how you see yourself. The holiday stuff sounds brutal. Trying to hold…
/r/Divorce_Men25/12/25 08:27 AM
2

Huh? What do you mean?
/r/Divorce_Men25/12/25 08:23 AM
2

Thank you for sharing this. What you said about fatherhood being fundamental really hit me — that’s exactly how I feel. The idea of someone else stepping into that role is one of the hardest parts for me to even think about. I respect the way you framed it as an internal battle rather than something you can control on paper or through titles. Showing up consistently, for your kids and for yourself, feels like the part that actually matters in the long run. I’m still scared and trying to process …
/r/Divorce_Men25/12/25 07:45 AM
2

Thank you for sharing this. I think a lot of people needed to read it tonight, whether they realize it or not. I’m honestly wrestling with the same question you are — whether constantly consuming these stories helps or hurts. Some of it feels validating, and some of it definitely feeds the fear and heaviness. I don’t think there’s a clear answer, just awareness of when it starts weighing you down instead of helping you process. What you said about people being blindsided, exhausted, and trying t…
/r/Divorce_Men25/12/25 07:18 AM
2

Thank you for this. I’m honestly exhausted, and reading how much calmer and more present things became for you really hit home. The idea of actually enjoying time with my kids — instead of being tense or second-guessed — feels almost unreal right now. I’m still scared of the transition, but hearing how you’ve built something that works for you and your kids gives me a glimpse of what might be possible on the other side. I appreciate you sharing a real, lived example.
/r/Divorce_Men25/12/25 07:13 AM
3

Thank you for sharing this — I really appreciate how balanced and thoughtful your perspective is. I won’t lie, the idea of not having my kids every Christmas scares the hell out of me, and reading your comment makes that feel very real. At the same time, it helps to hear from someone who’s a few years out and still focused on doing right by their kids. The part about both parents showing up for important moments really stuck with me. I don’t know yet what will be possible in my situation, but it…
/r/Divorce_Men25/12/25 07:12 AM
3

Thank you for sharing this. I won’t lie — reading perspectives like yours both comforts me and scares me at the same time. The idea of having more intentional, quality time with my kids and being more present really resonates. I also recognize how much of my identity I’ve slowly lost over the years, and part of me wonders if getting that back would actually make me a better dad. Right now I’m still scared shirtless about the transition and the impact on my kids, but hearing that becoming happier…
/r/Divorce_Men25/12/25 07:11 AM
8

Unfortunately, no one tells you the true story. I have been in your shoes and for a far more time than a year. I have cheated numerous years, because I have been looking for the perfect relationship where I get the love, connection, emotions, and the hot sex. The relationship at home was dead, no communication, no love, she wouldn't reciprocate and she was a disaster to live with. Well few years ago I found it and decided to come clean with my spouse about it. At that moment, I realized that I l…
/r/Divorce_Men31/08/25 05:10 PM
3

At this stage, I don’t remember the love I once had. Twenty-five years is a long time, and so much has changed since then—even my definition of love has evolved. I’ve gained clarity about what I truly want now and the type of life I aspire to have. I definitely hope I can build that life with her, but I honestly don’t know if that’s what she wants, and that’s something I have to accept.
/r/Divorce_Men21/01/25 01:21 AM
2

You're absolutely right, and finding the right therapist has been a nightmare for us. It’s unbelievable how much damage a bad fit can cause for both people. Communication is definitely an area we need to work on, and I know counseling could make a big difference once we find someone who’s the right match. Thank you for pointing that out—it’s something we’ll continue working toward.
/r/Divorce_Men20/01/25 09:15 AM
2

Thank you for sharing your thoughts so openly. I can see where you’re coming from, and I appreciate the honest feedback. You're right that things can’t go back to how they were because it clearly wasn’t working long-term. I agree that being a financial provider alone isn’t enough, and I need to approach things differently. I also hear you on the point about meeting each other halfway and accepting each other as we are—it wasn’t my intention to sound reluctant to change, but I can understand how …
/r/Divorce_Men20/01/25 09:13 AM
2

I've been avoiding this step since it makes look so real. But I think you're absolutely right, I need to start investigating the legalities of this more
/r/Divorce_Men20/01/25 09:05 AM
1

Thank you for indicating this. I shared with her few comments, hopefully she can discuss with her therapist
/r/Divorce_Men20/01/25 09:04 AM
2

I won’t lie, I had to look that up. I don’t think she’s dismissive avoidant, since she’s not independent and doesn’t really rely on herself much. She’s not clingy at all, but she’s definitely unmotivated. However, she tends to downplay the importance of a relationship, which makes me think she might lean more towards being a fearful avoidant.
/r/Divorce_Men19/01/25 09:55 PM
2

Thank you so much for your response. I really appreciate you sharing that, and I completely empathize with you—this has been one of my biggest struggles as well. It’s like one day everything makes sense, I’m clear about where I’m going, and then the next, it all crumbles, and I feel lost or unsure about even the smallest decisions. The constant shifting, the back and forth, it can be mentally exhausting. It’s hard not to feel like you’re stuck in this cycle where the only certainty is that thing…
/r/Divorce_Men19/01/25 09:44 PM
1

I really appreciate your insight, and I can definitely see where you're coming from. I know that resentment can really weigh down a relationship, and I’m grateful for the reminder to step up and help out more, especially with the kids and around the house. However, my main hope is that we can truly accept each other for who we are. I want us to live in a way where we appreciate each other's strengths and weaknesses, and find that balance that works for both of us. I believe that if we can meet e…
/r/Divorce_Men19/01/25 09:03 PM
3

First of all, I want to say how incredibly inspiring your story is. It’s clear that you’ve been through a lot and have really put in the work to reflect on where things went wrong, both in your relationship and financially. Acknowledging those challenges, especially the financial ones, takes a lot of courage, and I think it’s a huge step toward growth and healing. The fact that you’re now focusing on yourself in small but significant ways, like going for a walk or getting a haircut, shows real r…
/r/Divorce_Men19/01/25 08:59 PM
1

Yes, I’m trying, and I still hope there’s hope. I go through phases, where one day I wake up and feel ready to pack up and leave, and the next, I wake up wanting to really fix it. She’s been dealing with depression, and while she’s getting help, I’m not sure what caused it since she’s been living a generally healthy life. That’s one part of her story. I agree, so many years of no emotional connection have taken their toll. I’m trying, but honestly, I’m unsure if it’s worth it or not. It’s hard t…
/r/Divorce_Men19/01/25 08:50 PM
2

You’re right—eight years is a long time, and it’s a big part of our marriage. I’ve been reflecting a lot on what went wrong, and I honestly don’t have a clear answer from her. She has mentioned that I haven’t been helping out logistically, but I’ve always been focused on being the main breadwinner, and I thought that was how I was contributing. I’m just not sure if I missed something in terms of her needs outside of the financial aspect. She hasn’t given me a concrete reason for shutting me out …
/r/Divorce_Men19/01/25 08:42 PM
3

I truly appreciate you sharing your situation, and I can only imagine how difficult this must be for you. Even though it’s a different situation, divorce is always tough, no matter the circumstances. I do hope that, with no kids involved, the process will be a bit easier for you, though I know it's still emotionally challenging. Wishing you strength and peace as you move forward, and I hope things get better for you soon.
/r/Divorce_Men19/01/25 08:38 PM
6

Indeed, that’s exactly what’s been keeping me up at night. Am I really ready to give up on 25 years of my life? Especially knowing that the kids will be the ones most impacted by it all. I feel so torn and unsure of what to do, which is why I’m trying to make an effort. I started counseling, but unfortunately, the therapist wasn’t a good fit for us, so now we’re searching for someone else. As for my wife, I stopped “dating” her, not because of infidelity or anything like that, but because she co…
/r/Divorce_Men19/01/25 08:28 PM
3

Thank you. It's never easy
/r/Divorce_Men19/01/25 08:15 PM
2

Thank you for sharing your story. I can really feel the weight of your situation, and I truly empathize with what you’re going through. It’s heartbreaking when the person you’ve built your life with seems so resolute in their position, especially when it feels like they don’t fully understand—or even dismiss—the depth of what you need. You mentioned that your wife is the one asking for the divorce and wanting to move on. How are you coping with that? Have you tried having a deeper conversation a…
/r/Divorce_Men19/01/25 08:12 PM
4

I'm waiting for a female to jump on these comments and accuse us of misogyny. If I say the word end of women, I'd probably be executed in public these days. I'm so sick and tired of this bullshit. I am seeing this inequality at work, at stores, at home, it's really unbearable. Books like these are what's making it much worse.
/r/MensRights24/05/23 02:05 PM
2

I saw a sarcastic tiktok video the other day about this. The woman approached the man, telling him that she made him angry, and because he's angry, she got angry, and because she's angry, he needs to make up with her... It's fucking depressing that everything is our fault these days.
/r/MensRights11/05/23 03:13 AM
3

My opinion is based on real life, not on great dictionary words that don't apply. So yes, I'll stick to my opinion 🫡
/r/MensRights07/05/23 10:04 PM
4

Your opinion, I'll stick to mine.
/r/MensRights07/05/23 09:55 PM
5

Why? Because I'm stating it as it is? Women are raised as entitled. Let's take the scenario that OP stated here and reverse the roles. He goes to his friend and his friend, tells him that his GF is a piece of shit, how would you think that would have ended? He would have broken into a fight and probably never talked again. Women learned to take the role of the victim when they want to, and the entitled queens, when it works better for their own. Women are selfish and trying to rectify "inequalit…
/r/MensRights07/05/23 08:10 PM
3

Women are ungrateful by nature, they tend to remember the stupidest things for the longest time, but forget the major acts of kindness a man does for them. Good for you, on standing up to your rights. I read she's an ex by now, so let's see how she becomes "independent"
/r/MensRights07/05/23 05:07 PM
45

The problem is that we're reading horror stories about how men are getting screwed in life because of false accusations by empowered feminists. All it takes is a female to make a statement and all he'll breaks loose. This is causing men to lose confidence in themselves first, and be very worried about actually dating someone. Back in the days, going out was fun, meeting females was fun and enjoyable, and taking someone home was always fun for both. Nowadays, a man gotta worry about every aspect …
/r/MensRights19/04/23 05:53 AM
9

Someone at work accused me of harassing her after giving me her number and asking to meet for drinks. Got to work and HR were there, telling me that this is going on my records. Ended up leaving, since I knew this killed any growth potential. Lesson I learned...Some people are dicks and like to ruin lives for no apparent reason.
/r/MensRights18/04/23 12:40 AM
4

Women...we can't live with them, but we can't live without their xxxx" I mean for real now, women are ok to sexualize themselves but get butthurt when someone treats them that way? You go to the gym nowadays, you see thin ass layers of clothing, cameltoes, and pussies flying all over, but if you look, you become a pervert. For fuck's sake, choose a side and let us move on. Yes, I do tip more for a waitress that's flirty with me and is trying to sell herself. She knows it, I know it and obviously…
/r/MensRights12/04/23 05:18 PM
2

I learned not to hate anyone. I may dislike some folks, but don't hate them. When I'm dealing with anger (not hate) I let my energy out with something I enjoy doing.
/r/MensRights10/04/23 08:54 PM
3

If I had an award I'd give you one. Coming from a 3rd world country, respect is the number 1 thing we're taught as kids. Give up your seat, stand up for elderly, walk with your guests, etc... Been in the US for 17 years, and I've had enough women cause a scene because of opening a door, trying to he'll at a store or anything similar, that u stopped giving a damn. So yup, women killed the shit out of it.
/r/MensRights09/04/23 05:22 PM
1

You need to find your drive, it can be as easy as going to the gym, meeting a girl, leaning something new or just going for a drive. Sometimes, too much thinking will only drive more thoughts and depression. Nothing good will come out of it
/r/MensRights26/03/23 08:02 AM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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