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Rezae Archive

View 0 posts and 22 comments by Rezae on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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8

That last paragraph is the truth. Pretty sure mine planned on leaving around 8 months before she actually left (lunch dates with friends, bedroom closed, told to delete certain photos). I was all about couples therapy (where she kept moving the goal posts), taking notes, trying to plan good dates, etc. In the end none of that mattered. I think she got tired of waiting on ME to pull the plug, but we had a young family that had barely even started and I was naive.
/r/Divorce_Men20/10/25 12:25 PM
3

Again, what is the goal in meeting? What do you mean “the outcome is to know each other”? Thats all vague. I get being worried about abuse and things, but are you going to ask him about that that stuff? Do you have an eye for identifying abusers? Look - I’m not saying anyone is right or wrong for wanting to meet your exs new partner when kids are involved, but I think it would be important in understanding what you’re going to discuss and whether it goes well or goes bad, you don’t really have a…
/r/Divorce_Men02/09/25 01:58 AM
7

I’m just not sure what the goal of meeting is? What do you mean on the “align” part? What kind of discussion are you planning on having? I’m dealing with this from the opposite end of with the ex wanting to meet my gf before or when the gf ever meets the kids (no rush for that right now). I know I have zero desire to eventually meet her future partner. What if the ex doesn’t like the new gf? She doesn’t get a say in my relationships anymore. Is she nosey/curious? That’s her problem. Does she not…
/r/Divorce_Men02/09/25 01:21 AM
1

I’m in Cincy. Feel free to DM. I’ve got involved in a lot of meetup things and have made a lot of friends that way and keep busy. Can definitely recommend some stuff.
/r/Divorce_Men03/07/25 12:44 AM
8

Divorce wrapping up in a month and in a much happier place. You wrote me from a year ago.
/r/Divorce_Men19/06/25 01:31 AM
14

It may be cliche to say, but I could have written this practically word for word.
/r/Divorce_Men19/06/25 01:26 AM
2

I had 1 kid from first marriage and then got married again several years ago and we rushed into kids due to the time window closing (mainly for her obviously). Separated not even 2 years after our second kid was born. Divorce wrapping up soon, hopefully, and 50/50. Being a single dad to two young kids while in my 40s is rough but still rewarding. I wouldn’t change a thing but objectively the 2nd marriage and rushing into having kids in late 30s/early 40s was not the smartest thing and now I’m pa…
/r/Divorce_Men13/06/25 02:21 PM
8

I could have written a lot of this in my scenario. Especially therapy - I never really got a chance to express my side either. And when I addressed her complaints the goal posts would move. I eventually accepted the reality she was checked out, done. The woman I was trying to cling onto no longer existed, if she ever truly did. We also have two young children. Our divorce should be finalizing next month. Fought for 50/50 and got it and moving on and working on myself a ton. Better place now.
/r/Divorce_Men07/06/25 07:10 PM
6

This sub has been awesome. As cliche as it sounds and I’m sure you’ve read it repeatedly, just remember to work on yourself hard: diet, exercise, socialize, get some new clothes if you need to. Read. A lot. Self-help, relationships, history. Therapy helps. And while doing all this you will keep your mind busy and not overly dwell on all the what-ifs. Time heals.
/r/Divorce_Men15/04/25 10:15 PM
6

A lot of valid points already mentioned. I’m repeating some of them, but from my experience and observations, I feel it’s just easier for woman to divorce these days with fewer (apparent) consequences along with tons of societal pressure. There is a lot of “grass is greener” thoughts. You get friends and family that can add pressure to what are likely over exaggerated and blameless stories of marital troubles. I feel like it’s just too easy to take that advice with a “I deserve better” attitude …
/r/Divorce_Men07/03/25 05:46 PM
11

For me personally, in the moment it feels like being blindsided, but in hindsight it’s quite obvious the seeds for leaving were planted far earlier and nothing was going to change that. I think it’s a combination of things: grass is greener, social influence (friends/family/online) supporting what one could argue is an impulsive reaction, and just lack of self accountability. I’ll never say I was a perfect husband, but I worked hard all the way to the end to save it, naively. It was obvious from…
/r/Divorce_Men28/02/25 07:41 PM
1

I was a doormat. I made dinner every night for 5 years. I did all yard work. I had tons of date night ideas always getting shot down. I did counseling and couples counseling and she kept moving the goal posts. She did claim she wanted to save it but could never DEFINE what that meant - there was always a minor nitpick about me. And if I brought up what I needed her to work on - I was rude and attacking her. At the end of the day it seemed pretty clear she wanted out for a long time and nothing I…
/r/Divorce_Men27/02/25 05:11 PM
1

I was always under a microscope when we were together - she was a helicopter parent when I was around. Kids love being around me now. Less tension, more fun (for both me and them)
/r/Divorce_Men27/02/25 05:01 PM
1

Exact same story here. Got married quick - her bio clock was ticking. Was “ok” leading up the kids but she was never enthused and the frequency wasn’t ideal but i figured things would get better right? Once she got her two kids (which we both wanted), I would get occasional sympathy sex for my needs but even that I stopped carrying for - I’d rather have no sex than have it with someone who doesn’t want to be there. Love my kids but looking back I feel her motives were pretty clear. She didn’t ev…
/r/Divorce_Men27/02/25 04:57 PM
8

Dude… this hits hard. I did several months of couples counseling - never objected to it. It was always 100% what “I” need to do to repair the relationship (I was sick of a roommate dynamic that she was content with). I came to each session with tons of notes on what I worked on based on the last session. Always ready for “ok, this is a team - what can SHE work on now?” And it was never that - she would move the goalpost, and the counselor would go along with it. An absolute miserable experience …
/r/Divorce_Men27/02/25 12:11 AM
1

She wanted me to get individual therapy too. I did with zero hesitation. And when I would switch therapists here and there because I feel we weren’t clicking or getting to potential root causes, she would hold that against me. In retrospect I don’t think she ever expected me to agree to therapy and her mind was made up well before that.
/r/Divorce_Men29/01/25 07:43 PM
3

I have a sample size of 1 so it doesn’t mean much, but we had a male counselor in a faith based clinic (although we could and did request to keep religion out of it) and I felt completely double teamed and firmly believe it accelerated us to divorce. (I acknowledge this is a bias opinion coming from my POV) She brought up her issues with me, I acknowledged, would come back to next session explaining what I did to work on them, and then there were new goal posts from both of them. Meanwhile my co…
/r/Divorce_Men29/01/25 03:01 PM
10

My STBX has grown increasingly more cold towards me as we approach the finish line. Just little things - not helping with kids stuff at exchanges, not sending any pics of bday/Christmas with them (i sent a few from my side of it). Just a lot of little things. I’ve kept it strictly to the kids but I guess I need to go secluded radio silence outside of necessities when they’re with me and should expect the same.
/r/Divorce_Men26/12/24 07:29 PM
13

First Christmas separated/nearing divorce completion. Not having to deal with the annual Christmas Eve party with her family/in-laws was great. It always had to be with her family - loud, crazy, politics I don’t agree with, just bleh. During that time yesterday I did a long trail run with a friend, went to a pub house and had a delicious burger, and worked on the house some while listening to a podcast. 1000x better.
/r/Divorce_Men25/12/24 03:12 PM
3

Great advice. That first sentence especially I needed to keep reminding myself over and over until it stuck.
/r/Divorce_Men01/12/24 03:12 PM
16

Made dinner every night for family after work, even on her days off, for 5 years. Occasional “thank you”s but often critical. How I needed to find a better paying job (I made double what she does). When I suggest I enjoy my job and work life balance, and that maybe she should try to find a better paying job - “You’re the man, I need to ensure I have enough time around the kids.” Plenty of others, but the last time, recently.. when she was waving a stupid sample custody agreement in my face at a …
/r/Divorce_Men21/11/24 05:55 PM
12

So I’m going through something somewhat similar. Have 2 young children involved. She kept them away at first but after a few months finally relented to some overnights - I had no clue as to my rights as a father. I didn’t ask for this, she pulled away and was very distant and used the excuse I had “anger problems”. I won’t say I was perfect but anger is far from an issue I have - growing up with a father who was always angry and yelling I was always very aware I did NOT want a family environment…
/r/Divorce_Men14/11/24 11:32 PM
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