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RhinoKeepr Archive

View 0 posts and 39 comments by RhinoKeepr on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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7

Call an American and Spanish lawyer asap to figure out what it means that you’re in another country currently. Not to divorce necessarily, but just to learn some legal matters. Suggest some marriage counseling / therapy to her. And start taking better care of yourself mentally, physically. Find a therapist you like and trust and do better for your health and physical fitness. It’ll be a challenging road to travel no matter the outcome. Don’t give up quickly but, here the hard part, also don’t ho…
/r/Divorce_Men11/07/26 09:11 PM
7

Not remarrying is totally fine. When you’re ready have a relationship keep it intentional, have check ins and track the things you feel like you were bad at previously (either privately or gently with your new partner) and pay attention to the things you think you’re good at now. You’ve learned. I probably won’t remarry myself but years later now I am in the the best relationship I’ve ever had and I cherish it. Not marrying her means she can leave anytime she wants, and I the same with her. Quic…
/r/Divorce_Men08/06/26 03:56 AM
8

Keep saved elsewhere but remove from your most used device. Especially if you have kids. Not all the memories are bad and they won’t always feel as hard. Took me about 4-5 years to revisit the truly good memories and I’m glad I kept it all.
/r/Divorce_Men13/12/25 10:40 PM
7

Find community and build relationships within it. Can be a parenting group or church or dungeons and dragons or storm chasing.
/r/Divorce_Men08/08/25 12:14 AM
2

Amen forever.
/r/Divorce_Men26/07/25 04:13 AM
13

He was - formerly - one of my best and oldest friends: Adamantly explained that I should realize / understand how hard this was for him… and told me the purpose of the convo was out of respect for me. I had known for certain for 6 months and expected for most of 2+ years. Literally destroyed my marriage (with her help) and my lifelong friend group in the middle of a pandemic. I was holding on by a thread. After that convo my sadness turned to anger and then righteousness because I was right all …
/r/Divorce_Men25/07/25 09:04 PM
10

Happened to me. Pandemic hit and I lost 80% of my income. She got a big promotion and raise and was gone within 12 months. Married 5 years, together 10+. Money being so important cumturally (or the most important to many people) plays an outsized role in the destruction of so many relationships. Sorry amigo. Retain a lawyer quietly and get a therapist for yourself and a therapist for y’all and see if she wants to try to work it out. See what shakes out. Good luck to you!
/r/Divorce_Men01/10/24 09:09 PM
5

Also 1-6 don’t necessarily happen in order and can sometimes repeat and jump around. It all takes time + effort to overcome rather than just trying to forget and not process it all. There’s still time in life to be balanced and happy. I’m finally finding it myself again 3+ years later
/r/Divorce_Men02/09/24 05:01 PM
15

Since I went through my divorce and saw how friends and family don’t know how to support you when you life gets turned inside out, 2 other male friends have as well. Now I make it my mission in life to talk to/check on/hang out with them for as long as it takes till they start to seem back on track. It’s a mix of “hell yea, brother! / wtf dude, think about what you just said / why? / what was your roll here? / oh that’s fucked up / let’s go do XYZ fun thing” etc. Real accountability + real suppo…
/r/Divorce_Men25/06/24 05:33 PM
2

Not all divorces are the same, happen for the same reasons, have the same legal costs and repercussions, or have the same outcomes emotionally for people. I, too, usually offer a different perspective when I’m here. I get that some people have terrible experiences or are angry and that they deal with it differently. But some people are devastatingly sad, or happy, too.
/r/Divorce_Men23/01/24 04:04 PM
3

Seeing this downvoted makes me a little sad. There is room for different styles and advice in this sub. It’s totally fine to go red pill style or therapy or something of a hybrid.
/r/Divorce_Men23/01/24 07:20 AM
3

Depends on the state. Talk to 2-3 lawyers today and tomorrow. Any good lawyer will give you a free first consultation. It sounds awful but don’t hesitate here. And keep your cool now, you can let out the feelings in private and AFTER the legal stuff is wrapped up. Sorry it’s happened.
/r/Divorce_Men10/01/24 08:14 PM
12

That ‘just a friend’ was one of my oldest and best friends. I felt it was ‘off’ for years and started addressing it in 2020. I was right. Divorced in 2021 and gas-lighted all our mutual friends that it “wasn’t expected”. Glad I told people the week she left a year+ earlier it’s what I thought was happening. I told her to her face. And I told the couples therapist. Wish it upon no one. Brutal experience.
/r/Divorce_Men02/01/24 08:21 PM
1

I def agree
/r/Divorce_Men18/08/23 06:34 PM
6

5 was done already. 6- talk to her about not getting married but verbally commit to long term if you like one another and check in on regularly scheduled, no avoiding, must-do intervals. Works wonders with my current girlfriend who, I hope, sticks around. It’s a great relationship and one where we both know that putting in the right kind of effort matters. It’s been a good experience even if some of the checkins every 4 months have scary feelings or hard conversations. We all know that even with…
/r/Divorce_Men18/08/23 01:40 AM
1

And I thought it happening with one of my best and oldest friends was rough. I’m sorry! Paternity test and the nicest seeming, badass lawyer money can buy!
/r/Divorce_Men14/08/23 07:46 AM
3

Your *last divorce! You’ll be better going forward! I learned and changed so much for the better… It’s tough but you’ll be ok!
/r/Divorce_Men28/07/23 07:06 AM
1

TLDR: Yes, exactly. It takes two to tango. If someone doesn’t want to self reflect and not only own their shit but also discuss it in a vulnerable way, they won’t do it with you later. That’s not someone who cares about growing together. Long: yes, exactly. That isn’t to say it’s always 50/50, to be fair. Somethings are and sometimes things are not equal. I tried so hard but also had places where I wasn’t the best but that’s life. Partnership is about accepting the other person fully, especially…
/r/Divorce_Men29/06/23 01:43 AM
1

I’ve been in a similar spot to you (no kids though) and it was brutal. It simply takes time. Lots of it. Then more of it. Then you’ll have hard days and regressions here and there. Then it’ll start to get easier. Meet new people (not necessarily dating), start new things, explore new places. Say yes to experiences you wouldn’t have before. You’ll be fine but it just sucks. 2 years later and there are moments that it’s still hard but you’ll make it.
/r/Divorce_Men11/05/23 12:10 AM
2

Two options- talk about it earnestly, seeking outside professionals if needed or desired, or end it. Been there myself. She didn’t want to talk about it openly and honestly, we divorced a year later and she ended up with one of my best friends. So I’d say try with an open heart first (can’t approach from a position of anger, has to be sincere if you still have hope) before you burn anything down (and hopefully you don’t have shot happen like I did).
/r/Divorce_Men09/05/23 09:42 PM
2

It’s a tough world out there. The trick is to maintain balance- don’t always assume the worst in others, dont always see only the good, and protect yourself and your peace while clearly communicating. That’ll get you pretty far professionally and personally.
/r/Divorce_Men09/04/23 09:05 PM
3

This whole sub thread is great stuff. In depth, not angry or mean spirited but raw and unflinching.
/r/Divorce_Men09/04/23 08:39 PM
1

The responses will vary depending on experiences and perspectives, but asking that here will primarily yield one specific type of answer because there is a lot of anguish that comes with divorce no matter how right or necessary or tragic or unexpected or expected they were. It’s hard. The reality is everyone is different and it’s all about communicating your needs and boundaries, and crucially, the potential date/partner doing the same in return to you AND maintaining that communication througho…
/r/Divorce_Men09/04/23 08:32 PM
4

Ask, a few weeks in, what they learned from the partnership and subsequent divorce? Leave it open ended. If it’s only about the ex, aside from some egregious actions, they’re not being self reflective enough IMHO. You can have legit grievances but still truly self reflect. My ex did a number on me. Sucked. But I learned a lot about my role in our relationship good and bad and what I want to be better at, and how, and who I want to be moving forward.
/r/Divorce_Men25/03/23 02:06 AM
3

Pretty accurate.
/r/Divorce_Men25/03/23 01:58 AM
3

Good to hear you have ducks in a row. And I’m truly sorry it’s such an awful experience. Betrayal and abandonment is a motherf***er, people like that never want to have any accountability for their actions or choices. Edit: I still feel a sense of great loss 2+ years later. Not for my EW or former friend, but more for the loss of the life I thought I had and was leading. So the main focus has to be on building the life you want now, moving forward, whatever that means. It isn’t always easy.
/r/Divorce_Men24/03/23 11:09 PM
7

Hard days will continue but you will get through it. Find someone to talk to (especially another person who’s been through divorce feeling this way) that can handle the fact that this will be hard for a long time for you. I was crushed, devastated, stopped eating, stopped everything. Focus on your kids, your health (mental and physical) and other still positive relationships in your life. The sucky and hard advice: as hard as it is, go get a lawyer NOW so that no matter what happens, it’s alread…
/r/Divorce_Men24/03/23 08:04 PM
1

So far the fallout has been mostly mine, a close knit friend group got up ended. Been a pretty tough, to put it lightly, 3 years. They just publicly got together 4 months ago but it was what I suspected from Day 1 of separation.
/r/Divorce_Men13/03/23 03:25 PM
3

All the music of her new boyfriend, my (now former) friend of 22+ years.
/r/Divorce_Men13/03/23 07:14 AM
1

This was my experience as well. Got me through 4-5 hard months before I stopped. Had to learn time of day that worked best for me so I could sleep a normal schedule but otherwise great.
/r/Divorce_Men09/09/22 03:51 PM
6

Went through something similar. Very very similar. Still loved her after she left suddenly, didn’t want to talk about it much at all, and never came back. Great memories for 12 years (no kids, DINK life). Was married at age 31 after 6 years together. The main thing that has helped… time and therapy. I’m 18 months in from the day she left. And 9months out from finalized divorce. It was hard AF and I wish it upon no one in our situation. But it’s better to know now that 15 years later. You’re stil…
/r/Divorce_Men22/08/22 04:44 AM
2

Not nearly enough of this perspective in this sub
/r/Divorce_Men19/08/22 02:11 AM
1

Exercise. Journal. Etc. all the good advice in here. And I slept while listening to a podcast (on repeat) called “Sleep with Me” that is this guy droning on and on in a monotonous voice about pretty boring stuff. Helped a lot honestly.
/r/Divorce_Men08/08/22 12:57 AM
2

Questions for you to answer for yourself without a chorus of other people interspersing their own (valid and very hard) feelings and experiences. They were questions I had to answer for myself. Has she been to therapy for herself? Have you been to therapy for yourself? Have the two of you gone together for your marriage? For your kids? Do you want to take this route, doing therapy to dig deep to know why you feel the way you feel and if you want to continue the relationship? -If yes, start asap …
/r/Divorce_Men17/07/22 07:57 PM
1

Also in Austin. 1 ish year in from getting left (awful experience I wish upon no one who truly loves their partner. Together 12 years, married 6, no kids, loved her dearly) and 6 months in from finalized divorce. Couples therapy was just used as plausible cover for “I tried” but it was 4 sessions in 10 weeks and she peaced out on the 5th after cutting me deep but before we had the to chance to being to understand one another. Also under-employed post Covid/2020 (freelancer life is very hard in a…
/r/Divorce_Men15/07/22 08:53 AM
3

It surely got better. I’m only about 16 months into the journey so who knows how it starts to turn. I’ve met a lot more divorced folks after I went through it, it’s so much more common amongst people I already knew that I realized! The good ones all told me the same thing: holding onto the anger/sadness/bitterness/etc takes a toll that keeps you from really moving forward. So I focused on releasing all that and it’s been a huge help! Still hurts and feels sad sometimes, and damn can formerly hap…
/r/Divorce_Men25/06/22 10:39 PM
1

I 100% understand. Covid rocked my world professionally speaking and my ex-wife just… couldn’t offer any support. Turned elsewhere for herself and it sucked. I’m dating again but surely am afraid of getting too deep. It’s a complicated path forward but one I’m seeing lots of potential on that I couldn’t see the last 2 years thankfully. I’m focusing on figuring out what I want and need while not closing off potential avenues. I’m a big fan of everyone doing what they feel is best for themselves! …
/r/Divorce_Men25/06/22 10:30 PM
4

This answer is the best one. Lots of really understandable bitterness in here, and trust me I get it. But we are all responsible for ourselves, too. Be as good as you can be for yourself emotionally and psychologically. Always work towards being better. You can’t be a good and understanding partner if you don’t understand yourself. All relationships, not just marriage, take real effort/work. My divorce was emotionally crushing but I still believe it’s possible to have good long term relationship…
/r/Divorce_Men25/06/22 06:18 PM
12

Are you…. Me? Lived this myself. She initiated. Destroyed me. 1 year later I’m just barely coming out of the fog of it all (depression, legal crap and lawyers, financially wrecked even though it was relatively amicable, etc.). I’m a better person for it all, but damn I wish this experience on no one. Glad we didn’t have kids.
/r/Divorce_Men25/06/22 09:20 AM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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