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Riff_Raff1 Archive

View 1 posts and 41 comments by Riff_Raff1 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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12

Riff_Raff1/r/Divorce_Men27/01/25 04:16 PM
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
1

I realized I wasn’t dealing with someone who’d act in good faith before I actually filed — in some way that helped clear my mind, as I fully expected the worst. We actually attempted mediation once prior and my wife kept moving the goal posts of what she demanded before even moving forward with mediation. And she continually delayed things while trying to make her delays my fault. I gave up after only a few thousand $’s wasted, and filed myself to force the issue. Initially nothing changed, and …
/r/Divorce_Men22/02/26 05:54 PM
2

I can relate to much of what you’ve said, but with one major difference — my wife actually reached out to me and did apologize for some of what she did… I was taken aback considering she’d never apologized for anything in decades. Didn’t know what to think, and a part of me was hopeful this was a positive step. Fast forward 2 weeks, and she was blaming me for the very actions she had apologized for. “Accountability, I hardly knew you!”
/r/Divorce_Men09/01/26 08:03 PM
2

Primitive / backcountry camping is on my list for next year - a good way to extend my hikes. N. GA Mtns have lots of areas for this. Looking forward to it, honestly.
/r/Divorce_Men17/12/25 09:10 PM
1

I’m in a very similar situation. Hang in there; it’ll get better. (That’s what I keep telling myself…)
/r/Divorce_Men17/12/25 09:00 PM
2

I’ve been back-country hiking myself. 8-10 miles while seeing very few people, just being with nature, has been great! (And I’m healthier than I’ve been in years!) There’s def something to the idea of getting outside and/or getting some exercise to reduce stress.
/r/Divorce_Men17/12/25 08:56 PM
1

How do you get better at doing anything hard? By doing it! Don’t over-complicate it… You cannot be good at doing something w/o first being bad at it. And you can’t be bad at doing something w/o starting. Your anxiety about being alone IS the problem, not the being-alone.
/r/Divorce_Men17/12/25 08:54 PM
6

First one is def tough. It does get easier. Stay busy and push through.
/r/Divorce_Men27/11/25 12:34 AM
1

When she told me, in front of our kids, she didn’t respect me, and that I had to earn her respect — this after 20+ years.
/r/Divorce_Men25/11/25 03:10 AM
28

Going through it now. Unexpectedly, my wife recently called and apologized for some of her behavior; I didn’t know how to respond at the time. A short time later we were discussing things, and I mentioned that I don’t trust her…. She was aghast! When I started giving specific examples of her behavior I found to be manipulative, she turned every example around to say that her actions were a result of my behavior. Every single example!!! It’s amazing the mental gymnastics that occur to justify a b…
/r/Divorce_Men10/11/25 04:21 PM
18

I’m more convinced than ever that feminism has poisoned the minds of modern women, telling them that anything close to “serving their husbands” (ie bringing them a cup of coffee) should never be done — it’s too close to being “submissive.” While simultaneously ignoring and/or minimizing everything that husbands do to serve their wives.
/r/Divorce_Men20/10/25 07:08 PM
4

This! She’s disrespecting you, and you’re tolerating it. I did this for years, and it only gets worse. You have to choose — demand respect and be willing to walk away w/o it OR be a hollowed-out man with no self-respect. Choose carefully.
/r/Divorce_Men01/09/25 03:48 PM
2

Many of us have lived this - the complete refusal to accept any responsibilities for their part in the relationship’s decline. If you bring up specific examples, expect gaslighting (“that navel happened”) or deflection to something unrelated. I’m going through it now, and occasionally think I would like to work things out — and then I’ll get a rage text, and I realize it’ll never get better. Best of luck to you.
/r/Divorce_Men26/08/25 03:18 PM
19

I’ve seen this in spades!!! It took me years to understand that what my wife constantly accused me of (without any evidence) was almost always what she, herself, was guilty of — it was projection. She would argue, just to argue. She would constantly interrupt me while I was trying to communicate something/anything, and thought nothing of it. She demanded that I be a “leader”, yet was unwilling to “be led” (b/c that requires actually listening to what I was saying). She was unwilling to ever cons…
/r/Divorce_Men19/08/25 07:35 PM
2

In similar situation. But rest assured, she doesn’t walk away b/c she’s benefiting from your salary. You are an ATM to her, little else…
/r/Divorce_Men17/07/25 05:29 AM
1

I’m sorry you’re going through this, but this is too familiar. My STBXW is also a master-of-deflection, and never accepting any blame. She has rewritten “her” history where she’s the victim, and I’m always the A-hole — and tells everyone her version. The history includes some selective truth, but also leaves out all of the context of what really happened leading up to the events, and her role in them specifically. There’s likely nothing you can do other than accept that your wife has moved on me…
/r/Divorce_Men18/06/25 02:13 AM
1

Yep. That’s exactly what I’ve heard, too.
/r/Divorce_Men12/06/25 03:36 AM
2

I’m in GA going through this now, but luckily my kids are older (not minors). What I’ve heard after talking to many is that much of this will depend on the county you file in as the family courts have tons of leeway in their decisions.
/r/Divorce_Men12/06/25 12:45 AM
8

I’m early in the stage, so I can’t understand what you’re going through. But to your comments, I can speak to what has helped me — talking about it. As a guy, the last thing I want(ed) to do is talk about my impending divorce, especially with strangers. I’ve always buried my emotions down deep, and it took me hitting rock bottom (and finally going to see a therapist) to realize I’d cut off all emotions, both good and bad. I was essentially a shell of a person just going through the motions of li…
/r/Divorce_Men12/06/25 12:33 AM
3

I did a DivorceCare group as well — incredibly helpful. The group brings structure to the conversation, but the best part was hearing from others in similar, but different, situations. Our leader was great too, having also been through divorce and later (~10yrs later) remarried.
/r/Divorce_Men06/06/25 12:38 AM
3

It won’t get any better by waiting -/ it’ll only get worse. I know this from experience. Also, as others have suggested -/ get control of spending NOW! Put her on a strict budget while you pay all bills. Limit credit cards, etc. you’ll be accused of financial abuse and control; if you’re reasonable it’ll only be seen as prudent financial discipline. Best of luck to you.
/r/Divorce_Men28/05/25 03:07 AM
3

My STBXW is also an expert — in the criminal law (she’s convinced me having my own bank account is against the law) and divorce norms in my state (she’s confusing marital assets with marital support claiming she’ll get half my future income). I’ll correct her once, then just stop arguing…. No point trying to correct an emotional rant.
/r/Divorce_Men13/03/25 12:42 AM
2

100% — too many examples.
/r/Divorce_Men05/03/25 10:12 PM
1

Classic deflection from accountability while blaming others. I’ve seen it myself from my wife.
/r/Divorce_Men14/02/25 03:05 AM
1

Been there exactly. My STBXW txted me once to ask me to do something. I did it. Then she blew up asking me why I didn’t do something else (which she’d never mentioned, and I never would have agreed to). When confronted with HER original txt, her response was to tell me I should have know what she meant as she kept tearing into me…. That was the point I realized our marriage was likely over. Never once apologized in over 20 years. When I first pointed this out, she argued with me telling me I had…
/r/Divorce_Men14/02/25 03:01 AM
1

Sorry about what you’re facing. I’m in GA and in the early stages of divorce…. Not fun. Before you can agree to anything, you need to get an understanding of your assets and your cash flow over the past few years. At a minimum, get copies of tax returns for the past several years, W2’s from both you and your wife, and EoY paystubs (these will have more info than the W2). Also get statements for ALL accounts, ideally the monthly statements going back several years (these will show cash flow). Unt…
/r/Divorce_Men12/02/25 09:26 PM
1

100%!!! This is my experience. It’s all projection!
/r/Divorce_Men10/02/25 11:15 PM
2

I actually considered this question — can I live on a boat? And the simple answer is no, not where I live. (Not close to the coast, and only lakes around me — no live aboard allowed)
/r/Divorce_Men29/01/25 01:40 AM
3

Appreciate the feedback & suggestions.
/r/Divorce_Men29/01/25 01:39 AM
2

Not in my state. But I’ll be paying for kids regardless - just not as part of settlement
/r/Divorce_Men27/01/25 07:31 PM
1

I wish! Need to work still, and this means non-beach cities as options.
/r/Divorce_Men27/01/25 07:30 PM
6

Couldn’t agree more — communication is key! In my case, I realize I wasn’t always the best listener. But I also know my wife was wasn’t listening either…. When we hit rocky times, and I kept bringing up our inability to communicate, she’d argue with me endlessly. I can still hear it — her claims that her girlfriends think she’s a great communicator, so obviously the problem was me. Meanwhile she had no ability to take any accountability for her actions. Her favorite thing to argue about was what…
/r/Divorce_Men27/01/25 01:55 AM
3

This is similar to my story as well. My “aha” moment was when she asked me to do x. When I did it, she told me she asked me to do y, while yelling at me and calling me stupid (in front of our kids). When I showed her the text showing her she asked me to do x (not y), she kept yelling saying I should have known what she meant. That night was a major turning point.
/r/Divorce_Men02/08/24 01:28 AM
2

If you’re listening to Phil Collins, try “Do you Remember” - this one spoke to me once I’d mentally and emotionally moved on
/r/Divorce_Men21/07/24 03:23 PM
1

I’m in a similar situation, similar asset level. Wife has been a SAHM for over 20 years - her choice. And I’m in GA too. I’ve met with an attny already (and has my wife). GA law is so vague it’s hard to know what to expect in terms of alimony. (No CS in my case as both kids are over 18, in college). So far my wife is unwilling to even sit down to discuss a division of assets; just accuses me of all sorts of untrue things… Gonna be a rough ride for certain.
/r/Divorce_Men02/07/24 05:26 AM
1

I don’t really have a solution - I ran into this myself. Opened a PO Box first, then tried to open a new checking acct with PO Box as address — DENIED! I ultimately opened an account with home address but have nothing sent to my house, fully paperless. I was able to get a debit card at local branch. I still don’t have a solution for a new credit card. And I don’t have an office address.
/r/Divorce_Men23/05/24 03:56 AM
2

You cannot open a new checking account or credit card with a PO Box; must be to an actual address. You can open an acct and go paperless, though…
/r/Divorce_Men22/05/24 03:15 AM
5

None of this matters at all. If anyone (wife, girlfriend, brother, mother, whomever,…) is on the deed, they own an interest in the house. OP stated his ex’s name is on both the mortgage and the deed — whether the marriage was annulled or not is irrelevant. She owns half.
/r/Divorce_Men28/09/23 05:05 AM
4

But you haven’t solved the house. The annulment likely absolves you from any maintenance/alimony consideration, but has no bearing on ownership interest in real property (the house). If she’s on the deed, she owns part of the house.
/r/Divorce_Men27/09/23 04:13 PM
2

If she’s on the deed, she has ownership claim in the house. Marriage or not…
/r/Divorce_Men27/09/23 04:11 PM
6

If she’s on the title, she owns half. Period. Whether she can force a sale is TBD, for courts. How much she contributed is not relevant. My guess is you’d need to negotiate a buyout $ in exchange for her signing quit claim deed, relinquishing her claim on the house.
/r/Divorce_Men27/09/23 04:10 PM
6

The best analogy to use of why a prenup should be in place is that of a will. A will needs to be done before the end of your life so that YOU decide how your estate is settled — otherwise the state decides these things for you. A prenup needs to be done BEFORE marriage so that BOTH OF YOU can agree on how your assets, debts, alimony, etc will be handled in the case the marriage ends before one if you dies — otherwise the state (a judge) decides for you. It will never be easier to have this conve…
/r/Divorce_Men05/07/23 03:58 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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