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RiseAndPanic Archive

View 2 posts and 102 comments by RiseAndPanic on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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Upvotes Title Category Author Subreddit Date (UTC)
21

RiseAndPanic/r/RedPillWomen30/07/21 03:02 PM
2

DISCUSSIONRiseAndPanic/r/RedPillWomen15/09/21 06:20 PM
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
6

Um…good for you? What was the point of even commenting if the message wasn’t kind or helpful?
/r/RedPillWomen10/01/22 08:18 PM
8

Same. Due to some of the people and things she follows/supports, I just can’t be on board.
/r/RedPillWomen10/01/22 12:07 AM
4

Definitely! We’re only human and dreams are just dreams - it’s our brain on random scan and it doesn’t mean we’re going to act on them. Giving him that reassurance sounds like a great idea :)
/r/RedPillWomen23/12/21 04:58 PM
18

I would clearly and firmly state that this is a hard boundary for you and will not change your mind (about the threesomes/being poly). If you feel uncomfortable with him sharing those dreams with you, I would also find a way to let him know that while it’s totally ok to fantasize and have those dreams, it makes you uneasy and you would prefer not to know about them given your previously stated boundary. Hopefully this will help but if it doesn’t, unfortunately some tougher conversations may need…
/r/RedPillWomen23/12/21 04:25 PM
1

Agreed, unless there are kids involved, this was not a wise move. OP, can you get a different or part time job in the meantime? It sounds like you and your fiancé have a lot of work to do in…more than just finances. I’ll just leave it there.
/r/RedPillWomen22/11/21 06:46 PM
2

I’ve been there, sending you so many virtual hugs. It’s going to feel like this for a while, I’m not going to sugarcoat that part. When someone has been your world for that long, it’s normal to feel like a piece of you has broken into a thousand pieces. It may not feel like it right now, but I promise it does get better. The only answer is time, really. Take whatever time you need to heal and don’t feel like you need to jump back into the dating game right away. One day this will all feel like a…
/r/RedPillWomen21/11/21 03:35 PM
5

Any time the man I was with or dating has given me mixed signals on marriage or hell, even the relationship in general, it means they’re lukewarm about you at best. I’m sorry if that’s blunt, but I want to caution you against making the same mistakes I did. You can’t fit a square peg into a round hole - if he’s saying these things, he either doesn’t want marriage at all or doesn’t want marriage with you. You want someone who is 1000% all in and excited to be with you - when it’s the right relati…
/r/RedPillWomen17/11/21 04:50 PM
3

That’s great! It sounds like he’s much more educated on the matter and much more responsible than my ex was about it haha. All the best to you both!
/r/RedPillWomen16/11/21 12:10 AM
21

Thanks for updating! I’m glad it was a productive and constructive conversation. It sounds like he’s willing to stay on the agreed upon course and has some goals of his own, but I would be wary of the options trading. That’s a veeery risky game. ETA: Apologies, I know you weren’t looking for financial advice but I’d be remiss if I didn’t at least tell you to be cautious - my ex did options trading and lost stupid amounts of money this way.
/r/RedPillWomen15/11/21 07:09 PM
1

Exactly! Granted I’m thinking this must vary a lot by geography. I live on the west coast in the US and no one bats an eye at having your first kid around 35. But in the Midwest and South where I still see many having their first kids at 23-25, apparently it’s considered ‘old.’ I get that there is some concern about fertility issues and complications, but recent research has shown that the difference in these risks at 28 and 35 is negligible.
/r/RedPillWomen14/11/21 06:06 PM
5

Oh yeah, totally fair! Complications are more likely to crop up later, so that’s a completely understandable reality to also consider.
/r/RedPillWomen13/11/21 07:50 PM
12

Agreed with all of this, except I will say you can absolutely still have multiple kids into your 30’s. If OP’s health and fertility (and her husband’s) is good, there shouldn’t be too much of an issue even if they waited until she was 30-32. I know LOTS of women still having healthy babies into their late 30’s. OP, I only say this so as to not be disheartened if a baby doesn’t happen by your originally slated timeline. I hope everything works out the way you hoped and that your husband will be o…
/r/RedPillWomen13/11/21 07:12 PM
17

This was my last relationship almost to a tee. At the end of the day, our timetables and priorities looked very different and despite multiple discussions, we were at an impasse. Now we weren’t actually married, so I realize this is a different ballgame. When was the last time you guys have had a ‘check in’ conversation about this topic? Can you excitedly bring up how much you’re saving and spin it in a positive light to get him motivated? As another commenter said though, at the end of the day …
/r/RedPillWomen13/11/21 06:12 PM
18

The saying “You make plans and God laughs” comes to mind. Please don’t get too hung up on timelines. You’ll only set yourself up for major disappointment if x doesn’t happen by y age. While it’s great that you’re thinking about attracting a good man, you’re still SO young. Just focus on self improvement and what it takes to be a good girlfriend, partner, and eventually wife. You don’t want to come across as desperate when you certainly don’t need to be. Be someone who men will naturally be drawn…
/r/RedPillWomen28/10/21 04:31 AM
4

While being more mindful about carb intake is never a bad idea (especially processed, refined ones like in bread and pasta), I have to agree with Anonymous_fiend. This strategy may work for shorter term weight loss, but just isn’t sustainable in the long term. Some people can do this for longer stints and hey, great for them! But many end up feeling deprived and this can actually worsen binge eating later.
/r/RedPillWomen26/10/21 04:26 PM
3

That’s great, I’m glad they’re being supportive! And totally understandable regarding living in an expensive area and the binge eating. I used to have an ED and still have to be mindful of triggers to this day, so I get it completely. It takes so much work for me to stay within a normal BMI, so I more than empathize. (Dad’s side of the family are larger/bigger people while my mom’s are all blessed with natural thinness haha)
/r/RedPillWomen26/10/21 04:18 PM
16

So first, congrats on staying sober! That is a HUGE accomplishment. Second, are you seeing a therapist regularly? If not, this may be a good place to start. I’ll second what someone else said - you unfortunately can’t really force others to change their habits for you. Just focus on yourself and your recovery, that’s the best you can do. If you find their bad eating habits triggering however, that may be a separate discussion. Are you able to make plans to move out soon?
/r/RedPillWomen26/10/21 02:17 PM
1

Exactly! That’s a great way to put it, actually.
/r/RedPillWomen24/10/21 12:48 AM
11

Hi, fellow bi woman here! This isn’t weird at all, I’m attracted to more feminine women vs. androgynous and/or butch women. I relate to this, except I’m the opposite of you - I’m biromantic heterosexual, so thus have only had relationships with men (so far anyway). I’d be open to a relationship with a woman, but my attraction to them is fewer and far between than it is with men, although MUCH more intense it seems. I know what you mean with the ‘do I want to be them or do I want to be WITH them’…
/r/RedPillWomen23/10/21 05:24 PM
3

In my own experience, yes, kind of. Granted I’ve never been overweight, but I do think I got a bit more male attention when I was smaller and fitter (although I still get attention at the size I am now, which is average/normal). HOWEVER - Here’s something interesting, and I’m not sure if anyone’s experienced this, but I’ve noticed a more drastic difference in male attention with my hair color. I notice I get hit on more when my hair is highlighted or blonde vs. my normal/natural brunette.
/r/RedPillWomen18/10/21 06:37 PM
7

So true! As someone living in California though, a couple living on a single income of $45k…boggles my mind. Until I read things like this, I often forget how outrageously expensive it is to live where I do.
/r/RedPillWomen16/10/21 06:32 AM
3

Came here to say this. In my experience, if a man tells you he’s not ready or can’t move forward yet (regardless of the reason), believe him. This is more or less what happened with my last relationship so I made the difficult decision to cut it off (I recently learned he had been cheating on me for the latter part of our relationship, but that’s a whole post in and of itself). So anyway, I agree that it’s probably best for them to part ways. At least for now.
/r/RedPillWomen04/10/21 03:18 PM
1

I’m sorry that’s been your experience. I’ve had some similar, even when I was at my ‘heavier’ weight previously I got slammed for it. They said that size was still considered ‘thin’ to them. I am by no means a fat activist and don’t feel my sentiments or comments were of that ilk, so we’ll have to respectfully agree to disagree there.
/r/RedPillWomen15/09/21 07:58 PM
1

And I agree with you regarding CICO, that’s the only thing that’s ever worked for me to keep everything in balance. And y’all are making a lot of assumptions about what ‘advice’ I think is ok to give. Deleted the post, I guess I just have to accept that this is one area of RP I can’t get on board with. Jesus, I’m not advocating people to be overweight, just not shaming bigger people for where they’re at when they’re trying to better themselves or treating them like some moral failure. I’m normal…
/r/RedPillWomen15/09/21 07:48 PM
1

Fair enough, thanks for the input. This may just be one of the RP stances I can’t get on board with, but that’s on me I guess.
/r/RedPillWomen15/09/21 06:59 PM
-1

I see and understand a lot of what you’re saying and even agree with most of your points, even if a bit harsh. By the way, I in no means was advocating nor condoning being overweight or obese. My target audience was those who ARE normal weight, but may be in recovery from ED or at risk of one. I was only making some suggestions, I’m by no means saying anyone has to comply or do this. Wow. No need to get so hostile.
/r/RedPillWomen15/09/21 06:58 PM
5

Exactly! It’s definitely a slippery slope. I hope OP realizes this and leaves.
/r/RedPillWomen09/09/21 03:25 PM
10

I can’t speak for everyone of course, but rest assured most people here I believe DO find this behavior appalling and wouldn’t stand for it.
/r/RedPillWomen09/09/21 03:09 AM
40

So you may be somewhat amenable to this for now, but let me tell you from experience - these behaviors will really grate on you eventually. This just doesn’t sound sustainable at all. Plus, I have a feeling this level of obsessiveness and control will eventually bleed into other areas of his life if it hasn’t already. What you do with this situation and information is ultimately up to you, but I’m not sure I could be with someone like this long term.
/r/RedPillWomen09/09/21 12:52 AM
-1

Sorry to hear, I can understand your POV for sure. The male/female friendship thing is somewhat controversial here. But you’re not alone! I’ve been totally ok with my exes having female friends - because I trusted them. Wanting to go to a concert with your friend when it’s a long standing tradition is not at all unreasonable to me.
/r/RedPillWomen01/09/21 12:39 AM
1

Sorry, I’ve always thought this view was a little extreme. Plus, this friendship pre-dates this relationship. Here come the downvotes, but oh well. I absolutely think men and women can be friends as long boundaries are clearly stated and adhered to.
/r/RedPillWomen01/09/21 12:28 AM
4

Not to be rude, but how exactly? It usually is just veggies and fruits blended together…
/r/RedPillWomen26/08/21 10:11 PM
16

I’m just going to be blunt and to the point. Neither of you sound emotionally mature enough for a relationship at this time. From reading your post and comments, you just seem more concerned with being right than actually taking action on this. In any case, I don’t think this relationship is salvageable honestly. If he continues to lord this over you and can’t move on and talk about it constructively, there’s no point. When (not if, when) you end this mess, I recommend being single and going int…
/r/RedPillWomen10/08/21 01:57 PM
1

Ok so that’s totally fair, but then what are those of us who found RP a little later supposed to do then? Just wallow and acknowledge that our ‘best days’ are now behind us? Saying things like ‘30 isn’t attractive to most men’ just isn’t constructive or helpful. And given the response rate here and elsewhere, not totally true. Tons of quality people have relationships and marriages not work out in their 20’s. It just…happens. It doesn’t mean they’re unattractive or unlovable people. Don’t get me…
/r/RedPillWomen04/08/21 07:33 PM
1

Wow, who hurt you? Not triggered, just stating facts. I no longer wish to discuss this with you. Have a nice day.
/r/RedPillWomen04/08/21 04:25 PM
1

That does help! I’ve been thinking of getting back into volunteering in particular, I’ve heard that this is super helpful for those struggling with depression. Thank you :)
/r/RedPillWomen04/08/21 01:47 PM
1

I’m so glad this sub has been able to help, and congratulations on getting married! Honestly, this is refreshing to read. I’m in a very similar place at the moment. My mental health is in awful shape and this is what I need to work on the most. I think I just need to get my depression under control for the moment, hopefully the rest will fall into place after that.
/r/RedPillWomen04/08/21 03:46 AM
2

Thanks for your input I guess, but you don’t even know what I look like…? I’ll pass on the surgery for now, thanks. I still regularly get mistaken for 24-25, am in good shape, and am objectively attractive. Have a nice evening!
/r/RedPillWomen04/08/21 03:43 AM
1

Thank you so much for your thoughtful responses. As the poster below mentioned, I realize that because I want kids I don’t necessarily have a TON of time per se, but it’s a comfort so know so many here met their partners at 30+ and still managed to have a family.
/r/RedPillWomen03/08/21 02:18 PM
2

So glad it worked out that way for you!
/r/RedPillWomen31/07/21 07:39 AM
1

I’ll definitely check this out, thanks again!
/r/RedPillWomen31/07/21 07:38 AM
1

That’s so great to hear! Thank you for sharing!
/r/RedPillWomen30/07/21 08:36 PM
2

Aw this made me smile. I’m so happy you found your person! Thanks for sharing your story :) ETA: I totally hear you on the relationships from your 20’s not panning out. Realistically I know that had I married any of these men, I would be divorced or super unhappy. I try to keep reminding myself of this.
/r/RedPillWomen30/07/21 08:34 PM
4

Oh yes, this is a biggie for me. I’m learning to identify certain red flags earlier on and cutting it off as soon as they reveal themselves. Lessons learned there big time.
/r/RedPillWomen30/07/21 08:33 PM
4

I’m so sorry to hear about what you went through with your ex, but so glad you’re with a great man now. This absolutely gives me hope :)
/r/RedPillWomen30/07/21 04:53 PM
3

Thank you so much, this helps a lot! I’m doing the best I can to stay positive to continue working on myself. I’m in therapy to help navigate unhealthy thinking patterns and why I’ve been drawn to unsuitable partners. I’m still definitely a work in progress but I know I’ll get there :)
/r/RedPillWomen30/07/21 04:52 PM
2

You’re making a lot of sweeping generalizations here. I know tons of career-oriented women who can still be feminine, soft, and build a strong partnership and/or captain-first mate dynamic easily with their partners. These qualities aren’t mutually exclusive.
/r/RedPillWomen23/07/21 10:36 PM
17

This is the most sensible comment here, I couldn’t have said any of this better. The traits listed above from OP honestly just sound like a fake, robotic Stepford wife caricature that doesn’t take into account any variation in how people naturally are. Not to mention the points surrounding not having an opinion and not retaliating when wronged is just straight up horrible and borderline dangerous advice.
/r/RedPillWomen23/07/21 05:41 AM
7

This! How people still somehow think it’s a choice in 2021 blows my mind.
/r/RedPillWomen19/06/21 03:05 PM
0

Unpopular opinion, but there’s really only so much you can do here. You can provide your kids exposure into different activities of your choosing and hope that they catch on, but kids are going to be who they are at the end of the day. They are individuals after all. All you can do is equip them with the knowledge and foundation to be the best version of themselves. But echoing a comment above, there always is that chance that they may not turn out to be exactly how you envisioned or want them t…
/r/RedPillWomen19/06/21 02:27 PM
2

Ideally not, but I’m potentially open to it if things are clean and amicable with the ex-wife. I also realize I’m at a disadvantage being 30 and recently single. Also, as I tend to date men a few years older than me - I may need to accept that in order to expand my dating pool, I’ll need to be open to being a step parent. That being said though, I’m by no means desperate and ultimately just want to find the best possible partner. I don’t want to deal with this if I don’t have to, but it’s not a …
/r/RedPillWomen17/06/21 08:02 PM
5

Not at all! As someone who just turned 30, this feeling hits me from time to time. I will say though, please take heart as this feeling diminishes more and more over time with life experience. I’m not where I thought I was going to be at this age, but it’s ok. I am SO much better and healthier physically and mentally compared to several years ago. As you get older, you learn the difference between what you can control/change and what you can’t. I still catch myself playing the ‘comparison game’ …
/r/RedPillWomen24/03/21 10:44 PM
2

I feel this. While I like to stay as informed about current events as I can, it can become a mental drain super quickly. Given the hot mess 2020 was, I finally had to put some boundaries around how much news I read about/took in. Do I still watch and read? Of course, I want to know what’s going on in the world. It’s necessary. But that said, within reason and not to the detriment of my mental health.
/r/RedPillWomen21/03/21 08:07 PM
8

I understand most of these to an extent, but why the news out of curiosity?
/r/RedPillWomen20/03/21 11:44 PM
2

I have a very good friend who had some pretty awful things happen to her from getting the Gardasil shot. My mom (apparently, just found this out) didn’t want my sister and I to get this vaccine and she’s not anti-vaxx by any means. So at 30, I still have never gotten the vaccine and am a little leery after hearing so many stories like my friend’s. I totally get it’s probably a 1 in however many thousand chance, but it gives me pause. ETA: I’m by no means anti-vaxx either and believe in the effic…
/r/RedPillWomen10/03/21 03:45 PM
1

Are you getting your bf % ranges confused? That may be true for men, but 12-15% is extremely low for women. It’s more like 18 (and even this is like body builder/athlete range) to 25%.
/r/RedPillWomen28/02/21 06:36 PM
6

I think it’s because this sub gets lumped in with TRP when in reality, it’s nothing at all like that. This is actually one of the mildest and least hateful subs out there in my experience. I really like r/offmychest too, that’s a shame.
/r/RedPillWomen21/02/21 06:24 PM
5

As someone who has struggled with disordered eating in the past, this. I’ve historically seen a lot of posts in this sub glorifying being thin and it’s a slippery slope for sure. Healthy and fit is what we should be striving for.
/r/RedPillWomen19/02/21 04:25 PM
1

No worries at all! I’d probably still be doing it if I could, keto is great. And thank you :)
/r/RedPillWomen17/02/21 07:02 PM
2

Oh I’ve done keto before, several times. Loved the energy it gave me but it was hell on my stomach. I can no longer do it since I have gallbladder issues. Right now I’m just doing low-ish carb and intermittent fasting. It’s working great so far! I should have mentioned that I started at 154 a couple weeks ago and am down 7 lbs so far.
/r/RedPillWomen17/02/21 06:52 PM
1

Funny, we’re the exact same height and weight range! I am currently hovering in the high 140’s and trying to get at least into the low-mid 130’s (I’ve always been athletic and naturally muscular, so I doubt I’ll get much below the high 120’s without looking too thin). But this has been my exact experience as well. I’ve never had issues attracting male attention, but that attention seems to stay when I’m a bit thinner than I am now.
/r/RedPillWomen17/02/21 06:33 PM
9

Amen! I have a feeling a lot of people making comments like the one above are very young. Too young to know how crazy real adulthood can get. I’d love to chat with these ladies 10 years down the road...
/r/RedPillWomen16/02/21 08:54 PM
14

Edit: Wow, thanks for the award kind stranger! I understand where you’re coming from, but in today’s society, this timeline isn’t always realistic. Especially for those of us living on the US urban coasts where we have to pursue higher education and training to even survive. Here in California, it would have been totally irresponsible to have kids in my early-mid 20’s that me and my boyfriend couldn’t afford. And I think I can speak for many of us when I say it’s completely normal to make mistak…
/r/RedPillWomen16/02/21 08:25 PM
1

Gotcha, that makes a lot more sense now. I’m really sorry, that must be hard (for both of you). I too suffer from depression and it’s definitely no walk in the park, especially when it gets bad. Mine is mild and pretty well managed 90% of the time, but I’m empathetic to your position. I like the other commenter’s suggestion of spending some quality time with male friends, maybe that would do him some good? If he’s refusing therapy though, sadly there’s not much else you can do other than keep op…
/r/RedPillWomen15/02/21 09:09 PM
1

I have some questions - why has it taken him this long to complete college? Why is he getting bad grades? Does he have some kind of illness (physical or mental) that’s been preventing him from achieving his goals? The answers to those questions would help me better understand the situation. I will say I was in a similar up-and-down relationship on and off for 10 years and frankly, we should have ended it way earlier than we did. We had grown apart as people and just became increasingly resentful…
/r/RedPillWomen15/02/21 07:46 PM
2

Oh I agree! There definitely are some folks on the spectrum that aren’t cut out for parenting and that’s totally ok. But the insinuation from the original comment with the cousin’s situation almost made it sound like most people on the spectrum would be bad parents and that wasn’t fair either. But you’re right, it totally is dependent on the individual and we can’t generalize in either direction.
/r/RedPillWomen12/02/21 12:42 AM
3

I’ve heard of this happening to MANY new mothers. It definitely is horrific and unfortunate, but the vast majority of them are/were not on the spectrum. They may have had other mental disorders sure, but it’s not fair to make a blanket statement that every person on the spectrum is going to be this awful parent inherently. That’s all I was saying in my previous comment.
/r/RedPillWomen11/02/21 11:35 PM
5

What MeowKittyPurry said. I know several neurodivergent parents who do an amazing job of raising their kids. What you’re describing is another issue entirely. That situation likely had to do with lack of maturity and the personalities involved, not necessarily your cousin’s ex being on the spectrum.
/r/RedPillWomen11/02/21 11:09 PM
6

So I don’t necessarily disagree with the content of this post, but the messaging and tone could have been better. You talk about not tearing other women down but then go on to hype up your own looks, criticize the other girls, and call them losers? Again, I think there’s some merit to what you’re saying and sometimes it’s just the harsh reality of things, but just understand how this is coming off to some.
/r/RedPillWomen13/01/21 01:46 AM
3

I know it’s maybe an unpopular hot take, but as a white passing mixed person who grew up in a very white and wealthy area, I agree with this to an extent. That said, I’d be curious to see how much socioeconomic status affects this too.
/r/RedPillWomen10/01/21 10:50 PM
3

This always seems to be a polarizing issue on this sub. I think you can maintain the friendship, it’s just going to look a little different. Out of respect for the male friend in question, I’d give him some space. At least for now. I’m not saying you can NEVER speak with him, but it sounds like something may be up with the wife that is a bigger issue than just you. In each of my relationships, we’ve had opposite sex friends. But I knew about my partner’s female friends and they knew about my mal…
/r/RedPillWomen29/12/20 06:01 PM
2

100% agreed! I dated the same guy from 17 to 27 and it ultimately didn’t work out. And thank goodness it didn’t. My ex is a good man and we’re actually friends to this day, but we would never have worked as husband and wife. We grew apart as people and wanted different things.
/r/RedPillWomen22/12/20 03:10 AM
10

Yes! I live just outside of Los Angeles and it’s the same here. It’s very unusual to see anyone married before 25 let alone have kids by that age. When I stumbled across this sub, I learned that there’s a large geography disparity. I think a hefty percentage of those here are from the South and Midwestern parts of the US where the culture leans more conservative and religious, so the ‘marry and have babies young’ thing tracks. And this is an unpopular opinion here, but I think this timeline is f…
/r/RedPillWomen22/12/20 01:53 AM
2

That’s fine, but I also don’t think it’s fair to apply this to all women. I can speak only for myself, but this advice HAS worked for me, I know it’s worked for many others, and I have been happy with the results. From advice like this, I have not only attracted physically and emotionally valuable partners, but have had some of the best and most fulfilling partnerships one could ask for. Take that how you will.
/r/RedPillWomen21/12/20 06:20 AM
2

Fair enough. But yes actually, it has. If you reread the post, nothing about any of the advice is unreasonable. All she’s really saying is weight (especially as just a number) isn’t the end all be all, live healthily and in moderation and don’t obsess over this one tiny facet. I’ve struggled with disordered eating in the past and have been overly disciplined. Counting every calorie. Exercising far too much. Was I thin? Yes. Was I happy? Absolutely not. I have had the best success in relationship…
/r/RedPillWomen21/12/20 06:02 AM
2

Ok, but then how do we quantify a HVM? And then do we assume those HVM all have the exact same lifestyles, preferences, etc? Just playing devil’s advocate here - I’m not saying women should throw caution to the wind and do whatever, but it’s food for thought (no pun intended!) I mean I don’t know, I feel like my version of a HVM (and trust me, I’ve dated plenty) places more value on my health and happiness. They weren’t keeping score on how many carbs I ate or how many hours I spent at the gym. …
/r/RedPillWomen21/12/20 03:14 AM
2

This needs to be the top comment. Bravo. I couldn’t have said it better myself. One of the RPW views I take issue with is this over-glorification of thinness. It’s a slippery slope into that whole ‘thinspo’ mindset (remember those super toxic pages on Tumblr back in the day?) There are many young and impressionable girls on here who are going to read some of these comments and think that they’re not going to get a man if they’re over like 120lbs. It’s simply not true and it breaks my heart to se…
/r/RedPillWomen20/12/20 06:57 PM
1

I don’t think you can quantify a certain weight as ‘ideal’ as everyone’s best ranges are going to be vastly different. It depends on a variety of factors like height, frame, muscle, etc. I may get downvoted for this, but whatever. It needs to be said. This is one of the RPW views I take serious issue with. We NEED to stop glorifying overly thin. This is triggering for people prone to disordered eating patterns (myself included). Now don’t get me wrong, I’m not at all advocating for being overwei…
/r/RedPillWomen19/12/20 07:11 PM
5

I had to scroll way too far down for this comment. Thank you. As an athlete for most of my life, I totally identify with this. Even when I was at my thinnest (US size 4) I was never smaller than a 21-22 BMI. I’m always at the higher end of normal or bordering ‘overweight’ on that scale because I’ve always been able to build muscle really easily. So in the grand scheme of things, weight as a just a number doesn’t tell you the whole story. At the end of the day, men just want healthy. Period.
/r/RedPillWomen19/12/20 02:34 AM
4

If you live in a country with paid leave, this is obviously the ideal. However, this often isn’t realistic for many US women who need to work because having only their husband’s income doesn’t cut it. Especially if you live on one of the coasts. And if the couple can get by with one income, they are the minority these days and very privileged. Not disagreeing with you, just informing of the realities and setbacks a typical American woman faces. Plus, not all women’s breastmilk comes in? Does it …
/r/RedPillWomen03/12/20 08:55 PM
5

I just got out of a relationship with someone like this. I’m really sorry to be the bearer of bad news, but these relationships/marriages typically don’t end well. I tried everything in the book to be supportive and work with my ex. But he ended up icing me out completely and I had no choice but to break up with him. In your case, I would absolutely not even think about marrying this guy until he has this under control. Normally I would say look into therapy or counseling, but it sounds like he …
/r/RedPillWomen02/12/20 10:12 PM
6

Thank you! I don’t know why this isn’t the top comment. Some of the other advice here is frankly just kind of irresponsible. If the guy’s ego is really that fragile, then there are other issues at hand. I get trying to keep the peace, but not when money is being blown left and right due to preventable things.
/r/RedPillWomen30/11/20 08:31 PM
1

I’ve been doing this for years since I had kind of a lot of peach fuzz on my chin area, but it’s backfired. I have thick, dark hair naturally so you can guess how that went. I probably overdid it though with the frequency in the beginning. So now I have to do it every day :( Laser hair removal is definitely in my future. So if you’re a dark haired chick like me, proceed with caution! On the flip side, my face is a ton smoother and it’s like getting a facial every day so shaving does have its sil…
/r/RedPillWomen26/11/20 07:40 PM
3

Yes, you’re not alone! My reasons may be a little different though. I was unfortunately hit on and sexualized at a very young age (I was an early bloomer, like 12-13). So when I was in middle school, I passed for 16-17 years old with makeup on. If I dressed up, I got a lot of creepy and unwanted male attention. On top of struggling with low self esteem and depression, I actively dressed down in my teen years to avoid this unwanted attention and didn’t want to stand out. It’s better now in my lat…
/r/RedPillWomen23/11/20 02:19 AM
2

29F and no kids yet, but my ideal has always been 3. I come from a bigger family (I’m 1 of 4 girls!) so I think this has fueled my desire for multiple kids. 4 seems kind of chaotic though especially if the kids are close in age, so 3 always felt right. That said, I just got out of a relationship and haven’t gotten back into the dating game just yet, so we shall see. I’d be totally happy with 2. Seeing many first time moms here in their mid to late 30’s gives me hope :)
/r/RedPillWomen22/11/20 05:30 AM
0

Gotcha! Sorry, I realize my response sounded a bit snarky. I was just genuinely curious.
/r/RedPillWomen02/11/20 10:45 PM
2

How does that help? Isn’t that kind of one of those ‘you have it or you don’t’ things?
/r/RedPillWomen02/11/20 10:17 PM
13

This!! And to top it all off, we’re in a pandemic. Let’s just be real, absolutely nothing is good or normal right now. Giving yourself some grace and doing the best you can is all you can do. I agree with the comment stating social media has ruined us all for stuff like this. Sometimes I wish I was an adult in the time before social media. Comparison really is the thief of joy, ya know?
/r/RedPillWomen30/10/20 02:50 PM
1

I have mixed feelings on this. While I think it’s ideal to have at least one parent at home during the kids’ younger years (whether that’s the mom or the dad), I’ve seen the SAHM thing backfire super badly in my own family. In each case the husband is abusive or cheats and the wife has no career, prospects, or money to fall back on so she feels forced to stay. Now maybe this is a vetting issue but either way, I absolutely don’t want that to be my reality. I have a solid career trajectory current…
/r/RedPillWomen28/10/20 06:50 PM
4

This gives me hope! Your situation sounds a lot like mine. I’m 29 and just got out of a toxic relationship a few weeks ago. Also spent the majority of my 20’s in LTR’s that didn’t pan out and ultimately weren’t healthy relationships. Also due in part to an emotionally traumatic upbringing. It’s hard at times to not get a little envious of friends and other people I know who had healthy relationships and marriages just ‘work out’ in their 20’s, but it is what it is. Everyone’s situation is unique…
/r/RedPillWomen18/10/20 08:22 PM
26

I feel like mommy issues in women are rarely talked about in general, and I’m so glad someone has posted about it here. I can identify with much of what you’ve said above. My mom has/had issues with depression, alcoholism, and a probable personality disorder. She and my dad have an incredibly tumultuous relationship (I was closer to him growing up, but he definitely has his own faults as well). As a result, I really didn’t have a ton of female role models in my life. I had more guy friends than …
/r/RedPillWomen17/10/20 11:13 PM
11

So I know this isn’t RP advice, but I actually think opposite sex friendships are fine while in a committed relationship. BUT...with lots of healthy boundaries in place. This means hanging out in groups, keep texting/messaging light and to a minimum, things like that. So as long as clear and hard boundaries are drawn I don’t see any issue with it. All of my SO’s had female friends outside our relationship but I trusted them to enforce boundaries, I knew about said friends, and eventually was eve…
/r/RedPillWomen12/10/20 02:59 PM
2

Oh girl, I’m so sorry you’re going through this. I feel like I could have written this exact post as I just went through something very similar with my now ex-boyfriend. You’re doing everything right in terms of being there and supportive. And that’s hard to do from a distance! I don’t get the feeling he’s cheating, but I think his mental health issues plus getting acclimated to the meds he’s on is causing much of the erratic behavior. My ex was exhibiting all the same behaviors (impulsivity, al…
/r/RedPillWomen09/10/20 06:52 PM
9

Ok thank you! I’m shocked more people haven’t pointed this out. I mean it’s great she’s wanting to improve her cleaning habits for her own sake, but yikes. There are clearly much bigger issues at hand if name calling and put downs are happening on a regular basis like this.
/r/RedPillWomen06/10/20 08:21 PM
1

That’s fair, I do know of a few friends and family members in that same situation. I meant actually marrying before 25, not necessarily dating before 25 and then marrying later. So I think we agree there :) You see, I live in Los Angeles where the culture surrounding relationships and marriage is pretty different than most other places in the US. It’s super competitive economically here, so most need higher education and lots of work experience to really make it. So for that reason, marriage isn…
/r/RedPillWomen06/10/20 12:45 AM
1

I mean...titlejunk isn’t wrong. The research and the stats are what they are. A good percentage of marriages before 25 fail for a reason. Neurologically, your brain isn’t even done developing until around 27-28 if you can believe that. And I don’t know about you, but I’m definitely not the same person as I was at 22 (I’m 29 now). And had I stayed in the relationship I was in back then, I would be totally miserable. I will concede this - if you have a good head about you, take lots of time to vet…
/r/RedPillWomen03/10/20 02:28 PM
2

This may be reaching, but how are you feeling in other aspects of your life? School, career, etc? The only reason I ask is because apathy, loss of interest in activities, and low libido could signal possible depression. Of course I’m not a doctor nor necessarily saying you have this, but it’s something to consider if you’ve been feeling chronically dissatisfied in other areas of your life too. Everything you’re describing happened in my last relationship almost to a tee and lo and behold, it tur…
/r/RedPillWomen03/10/20 04:24 AM
6

Totally valid! There are definitely pros and cons to both sides. You do have more energy when you’re younger and will be around for your kids longer. But on the flip side, you have more emotional maturity and financial stability when a little older. My mom was 29 and my dad was 45 when I was born, I’m one of four kids. My dad never seemed ‘older’ than other dads growing up as he took decent care of himself and is in great health to this day. My younger sister and I in particular benefitted from …
/r/RedPillWomen25/09/20 03:22 AM
8

I agree with this 1000%. I’m 29 now and glad I’m not with the guy I was with at 17 (we were together on and off for 10 years). I know it’s an unpopular opinion here, but there really is some merit in waiting a little later to marry. This only becomes a slight issue if having bio kids is important to the couple (as it gets trickier after 35 or so). That said, the data on 35 being the absolute ‘make or break’ age for female fertility is shaky at best and I know tons of women having kids later heal…
/r/RedPillWomen25/09/20 12:24 AM
1

Relieved to see someone else mention and understand breast reduction and the big boob struggle! Everyone (men and women alike) thinks I’m crazy when I say I want a reduction, but as an athletic and active person, my almost 34DD cups are more annoying then anything. I miss my B cup days. I’m hoping to get them a bit smaller through some weight loss, but even at my thinnest the smallest they go is a full C. Sigh.
/r/RedPillWomen15/09/20 07:58 PM
2

While I wish I had more tangible advice for you, I just wanted to let you know you’re not at all alone. We’re the same age and I’m at a similar point with my boyfriend (although for very different reasons, see my post history if you’d like). The ‘approaching 30 freak out’ is all too real and I wholeheartedly empathize. Would it help if you had a serious sit down with him in the very near future to discuss a more concrete timeline regarding these goals? It sounds like he’s got good character and …
/r/RedPillWomen03/09/20 12:52 AM
5

Funny I stumbled across this post, I’m navigating this with the guy I’m newly dating. So far it seems to be 50/50 with us, sometimes he’ll initiate (this was especially the case in the beginning) but now I’ve taken the reigns more too. Lately I’ve been noticing though that he’ll suggest places or ideas, and then I map out the logistics. He’s more spontaneous and I’m a planner. It seems to work for us so far, no complaints here. I think it just comes down to the individual couple and what works b…
/r/RedPillWomen25/06/20 09:07 PM
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