Risket2017 Archive

Upvotes	Title	Category	Author	Subreddit	Date (UTC)
60	Wife filed out of the blue, but continues to act as if nothing has changed?		Risket2017	/r/Divorce_Men	21/04/25 05:24 PM
5	Update		Risket2017	/r/Divorce_Men	03/09/25 09:46 PM

Upvotes	Comment on	Subreddit	Date (UTC)
16	Nobody told me that 'no closure' also applied to the rebuilding of a life I've been dealing with much the same thing, but after much thought/rumination/time wasting consider this: Say in the completely unlikely event she does admit her part and take accountability or whatever, then what? Will your situation change? What will be different, other than a completely irrelevant victory for your ego? You'll still be divorced, you'll still be a Dad, she'll still be a cunt. Nothing that matters will change. You're wanting the moon to turn to cheese to make yourself feel good.…	/r/Divorce_Men	25/06/26 12:05 PM
1	Finding Child Support Unfair You know what, that's the difference. One here. For some reason I had it in my head that your support was only for one. I know what you mean, I ran the numbers myself after getting the number from the state calculator, ended up at the same number. Good luck to you, that's brutal.	/r/Divorce_Men	10/06/26 07:25 PM
2	Finding Child Support Unfair Holy shit, what state are you in? I'm in Indiana, I make $150k and pay $13,500/year.	/r/Divorce_Men	10/06/26 07:17 PM
2	SBXW Falling apart but seems happy? Take it from an expert: ruminating on the past is silly, you can't change it. Why did she cheat? Thought she could to better? You were unattractive? Or she was just bored. Doesn't matter. Hell, let's say she does say her life sucks now, does it change anything? Any feeling on your side would be just ego, and not productive. You have what's in front of you now. As far as living for your kids, you know the airline safety presentations where you put the mask on yourself first, then your kids? There…	/r/Divorce_Men	11/05/26 09:54 PM
9	SBXW Falling apart but seems happy? Why does she matter? I would suggest you read a book called No More Mr Nice Guy by Robert Glover. The core concept of the book is the idea of the covert contract. Basically "If I do X, they will do Y in appreciation/awe/whatever in response without me communicating that". "If she sees how awesome I am she will fall to her knees to beg forgiveness and confess her sins." It doesn't work that way, and control is an illusion. You can control exactly one thing: you, and by proxy your reactions to wha…	/r/Divorce_Men	11/05/26 05:17 PM
1	Update Split Your Income: Reroute your direct deposit to a new, individual bank account in your name only. Our incomes were already split except for a savings account which we've already divided. Order all 3 Credit reports on yourself (Experian, Equifax, TransUnion) for free from this link and freeze your credit so no new loans can be opened in your name Thank you for the reminder on this, I did forget this step.	/r/Divorce_Men	04/09/25 02:58 PM
2	Update Her plan to stay in the house WONT work: . Forcing you to be her landlord for 2 years until son is 18yo is is the opposite of a clean break. A judge will almost never force one to be the "landlord" for the other. Per my lawyer the judge cannot force me to do that, and there's no way I'll do it. She's got a seriously bad history with money (a red flag I ignored, lesson learned). The "Deferred Sale" for the "Child" Stability: Wont work as well:- A judge would probably think conclude 16yo, healthy …	/r/Divorce_Men	04/09/25 02:36 PM
1	Update Way ahead of you, backed up in 2 cloud services that she has no access to.	/r/Divorce_Men	04/09/25 02:21 PM
1	Update I plan on running the camera only when I'm home, though I am going to speak to my lawyer about that. Perhaps a body cam.....	/r/Divorce_Men	04/09/25 02:21 PM
2	Update Per the preliminary agreement I don't think I can kick her out as it spells out our living condition. I'll be talking with my lawyer about that today. In addition there's a complication that I didn't talk about: Her daughter's kids (6 and 1) are currently living with us until October. If she gets kicked out the kids need to go too as I'm working whereas she is not. Many valuables have been removed, firearms, sentimental items, etc... I didn't think about documents, that's a good idea. I'll do th…	/r/Divorce_Men	04/09/25 02:19 PM
2	Update She did get an attorney and I've paid $2k.	/r/Divorce_Men	03/09/25 11:09 PM
1	Wife filed out of the blue, but continues to act as if nothing has changed? I looked at her phone in November.	/r/Divorce_Men	22/04/25 09:13 PM
1	Wife filed out of the blue, but continues to act as if nothing has changed? I separated our finances years ago due to some things she did on the shared checking account. Only shared account now is a savings account. All the bills are from a separate checking account, the lion's share of my check goes there. I agree, him being 16 helps a lot in this situation I think. I'm hoping this process isn't too hard on him. For what it's worth I hope you are too, yet there's a good chance you're not. Thanks for the responses, you've given me a lot to think about.	/r/Divorce_Men	22/04/25 09:03 PM
1	Wife filed out of the blue, but continues to act as if nothing has changed? In November she fell asleep with the phone in the bed, and it kept vibrating waking me up. I picked it up, unlocked and looked at it for a bit trying to see if it was something important, or something untoward, and put it on the charger. Well, she saw me and changed the lock code. She insisted it was because she had Christmas gift information on there.	/r/Divorce_Men	22/04/25 08:42 PM
1	Wife filed out of the blue, but continues to act as if nothing has changed? Account frozen for false DV allegations? I've never heard of that. Child support will be paid, I will meet my obligations there. I'm aware she might spend it on stupid shit, nothing I can do about that. I talked to my lawyer buddy last night, she'll be providing me some good references. So far she really hasn't communicated much, we'll see how things progress. I can hold my temper pretty well, though I have my limits. My state is single party consent, since I consent I can record. I'm not going …	/r/Divorce_Men	22/04/25 05:30 PM
1	Wife filed out of the blue, but continues to act as if nothing has changed? Jesus Christ. Part of me thinks she wouldn't be capable of that, but then again do we truly know people? Since this happened a couple of months ago I hope you're doing ok...	/r/Divorce_Men	22/04/25 05:26 PM
5	Wife filed out of the blue, but continues to act as if nothing has changed? Cheating: I'm in a no fault state, cheating doesn't matter. My son: This is as far as I know right now: - He only knew that she was filing because he saw the paper work. - He just wanted us to be together one last time Is it possible he knows other things and is being manipulated? My ego says no, but I cannot completely discount the possibility. However, no way in hell I'm going scorched earth on him, she can fuck off. I'm not ghosting my son, I suppose you might have had a really negative thing…	/r/Divorce_Men	22/04/25 05:22 PM
2	Wife filed out of the blue, but continues to act as if nothing has changed? He's a big hearted kid, which can lead to him being manipulated. I am conflicted, but my anger is directed at her no him. I wish he had trusted me with the information, but I get the reasoning. He just wants things to be the way they were.	/r/Divorce_Men	22/04/25 05:18 PM
9	Wife filed out of the blue, but continues to act as if nothing has changed? I can't sell the house without her knowing, she's on the title. Why would my account be frozen? As far as her trying to make me react, yeah she's done that, and failed. I've been recording conversations today via cell phone audio, I'll pickup a separate recorder tomorrow along with a camera. As far as my son, I'm in no way going to lean on him, this will be difficult enough as it progresses. I've kept it vague so far, without being explicit about it other than that first day I got mad. I'm alrea…	/r/Divorce_Men	22/04/25 01:38 AM
4	Wife filed out of the blue, but continues to act as if nothing has changed? Thank you. I've been doing a lot of work fixing my own issues with assertiveness and boundaries. I didn't know this sub existed until a few days ago, somehow it normalizes things when I see that I'm hardly the only one that this has happened to. I see what you're saying regarding attempting to read her mind. At this point her actions are all that matter, considering clearly what she says it's bullshit. The amazing thing was that she couldn't understand why I was upset. THAT fucked me up for a bi…	/r/Divorce_Men	21/04/25 08:50 PM
2	Wife filed out of the blue, but continues to act as if nothing has changed? If I had the spare cash, sure. But it won't matter anyway.	/r/Divorce_Men	21/04/25 08:22 PM
4	Wife filed out of the blue, but continues to act as if nothing has changed? I meant trying to patch up a marriage that's clearly broken. You're right, this marriage is over. As far as cheating, so far I haven't found proof. I would have to get access to her phone for that, she recently changed her lock ID so that will be tough. Honestly though, I don't think it really matters other than my own ego. I live in a no fault state, so she could murder a puppy in the street and it wouldn't matter.	/r/Divorce_Men	21/04/25 08:19 PM
5	Wife filed out of the blue, but continues to act as if nothing has changed? Definitely not leaving the house, that's not an issue. I plan on picking up an audio recorder soon as the mic on my phone fucking sucks after testing it. I'm sorry you're going through all that, good luck! I'm in the US, in my state I don't believe that she can compel me to pay for a lawyer, but I'll be finding that out tonight.	/r/Divorce_Men	21/04/25 08:15 PM
2	Wife filed out of the blue, but continues to act as if nothing has changed? I absolutely will not use him against her. I hate it when people use their kids as tools for their own gain, and I won't be one of them. He's kept to himself during this, and I've respected it.	/r/Divorce_Men	21/04/25 07:33 PM
2	Wife filed out of the blue, but continues to act as if nothing has changed? Oh I'm not moving out either.	/r/Divorce_Men	21/04/25 06:57 PM
6	Wife filed out of the blue, but continues to act as if nothing has changed? I don't give a shit about it, it's just what she said. I told her that she could sign away her name to the house title since she couldn't afford the house anyway and that would keep our son there. Que the deer in the headlights look.	/r/Divorce_Men	21/04/25 06:56 PM
6	Wife filed out of the blue, but continues to act as if nothing has changed? I'm not subtle, so yeah she probably knew.	/r/Divorce_Men	21/04/25 06:50 PM
13	Wife filed out of the blue, but continues to act as if nothing has changed? That ain't gonna happen. I may have acted like an asshole initially, but I either keep the house or it get's sold.	/r/Divorce_Men	21/04/25 06:49 PM
5	Wife filed out of the blue, but continues to act as if nothing has changed? I did lose my shit a little after my talk with myself in the car, but I've been pretty calm since then. I've been busy has hell, working to get a plan together. Her timing is interesting, my Dad's health is extremely poor and he could pass away at any time. Because of that I haven't told them, I don't want to add to the stress.	/r/Divorce_Men	21/04/25 06:47 PM
9	Wife filed out of the blue, but continues to act as if nothing has changed? Do you think it could be hormonal? Shit, maybe? At this point I don't care, we were basically roommates for a while. I was planning on exiting after my son left the house, she essentially beat me to it.	/r/Divorce_Men	21/04/25 06:44 PM
7	Wife filed out of the blue, but continues to act as if nothing has changed? Oh without doubt this was not a spur of the moment thing. She even told me she decided to do it in January, which to me means sooner than that. The more I read other people's stories, the more I come to the same conclusion. Eh, I have zero desire to help out anyone in her family. Most of them are fucking losers/idiots. Her Mom and Dad passed away several years ago. Working on it, thank you.	/r/Divorce_Men	21/04/25 06:43 PM
2	Wife filed out of the blue, but continues to act as if nothing has changed? Thanks, I'm pretty conflicted about it. It's something we need to talk about.	/r/Divorce_Men	21/04/25 06:40 PM
10	Wife filed out of the blue, but continues to act as if nothing has changed? I'm 45, she's 53.	/r/Divorce_Men	21/04/25 06:39 PM
5	Wife filed out of the blue, but continues to act as if nothing has changed? I know a divorce attorney that won't represent me because she knows my son, but I'm going to get a solid recommendation from her tonight. I am conflicted about my son. On one hand he just wanted to have a vacation with his family one last time, but yeah you're right he did sit in the car with me for hours and hours saying nothing. It is time he and I had a talk about this. I've already stopped spending money on her. Thanks for the article, sounds like a plan.	/r/Divorce_Men	21/04/25 06:38 PM
6	Wife filed out of the blue, but continues to act as if nothing has changed? Damn, I'm really sorry you went/are going through that. It's funny, I've been getting my shit together in many ways over the last 2 years. I'm in the best shape of my life and I've been fixing many of the things that I haven't liked about myself for a long time. It's as if I've been preparing myself for this subconsciously. I'll be fine, but as you said it's going to be a fight. She cussed me out yesterday, which is really rare. Really brought my attention to the fact that this will not be pleas…	/r/Divorce_Men	21/04/25 06:21 PM
11	Wife filed out of the blue, but continues to act as if nothing has changed? After my come to Jesus moment in the car, I'm done. Even if she cancels the hearing, I'll be the next one filing.	/r/Divorce_Men	21/04/25 06:13 PM
9	Wife filed out of the blue, but continues to act as if nothing has changed? I'm not, just slightly irritated is all. I haven't mentioned it to him, nor will I. In terms of my priorities here he's #1 with my finances/well being/sanity being #2. However, I am conflicted on that. It's something he and I need to talk about.	/r/Divorce_Men	21/04/25 06:12 PM
6	Wife filed out of the blue, but continues to act as if nothing has changed? I've avoided this in my head, but you're probably right. I know some shit went down on her end with her ex husband, which I didn't find out about until years into being married. Oh there's no doubt we're done, I just needed to get my head out of my ass. I hate to admit it, but I almost succumbed to the emotional manipulation. Lol, I'm not hung up on April Fools, I just thought it was ironically funny. Thanks for the response.	/r/Divorce_Men	21/04/25 05:50 PM
5	Wife filed out of the blue, but continues to act as if nothing has changed? The more I get into the "fuck this" mode I've barely spoken to her, but you're right I need to buckle down now that this shit is over with. Thanks for the heads up.	/r/Divorce_Men	21/04/25 05:47 PM
8	Wife filed out of the blue, but continues to act as if nothing has changed? I contacted a lawyer, and in my state getting spousal support is really rare. She is medically retired, but has worked before so she'll have a really rough time proving she can't work. I don't have one yet, but I'm working on it today. I spent way too long hemming and hawing until I got to the "fuck this" point. Been married 16 years. Thanks for the response.	/r/Divorce_Men	21/04/25 05:46 PM