RockandRollGuitars Archive

Upvotes	Title	Category	Author	Subreddit	Date (UTC)

Upvotes	Comment on	Subreddit	Date (UTC)
24	Question for men Save all of your statements and proof of net worth from date of marriage. Most banks only keep it for seven years and if you’re bringing lots of net worth in, you need to prove it to keep it in most jurisdictions. You don’t have to sign the marriage certificate. Have all the fun and party and then don’t sign the contract. Stay technically unmarried. Common law partnership laws may screw you either way, so this isn’t foolproof. She’s not signing because she wants protection. Sorry to say, but you…	/r/Divorce_Men	04/07/23 10:05 PM
3	What the hell This was my life, including two police reports filed against me for literally nothing. It only stopped when she assaulted me, left marks on my body as proof, in front of the kids. When I shared with my therapist they were obligated to have CPS pay a visit. From that moment on, the delusion stopped and she could only play defense because I had proof that every accusation she made to about me was just an admission of her own faults. Cameras, recorders and save every message she sends and never rep…	/r/Divorce_Men	03/07/23 11:02 AM
12	Hello everyone, as a young man, I'm looking for advice on finding 'the one.' I'm in a relationship with an incredible girl, but I was hoping to gather insights from you all regarding potential red flags to watch out for or any proactive steps I can take to avoid the horrors many of you went through. Must have held stable job, been able to support herself without help from family and has her own passions/hobbies. Do not fall for the SAHM trap. That type of partnership isn’t viable in this day and age. You need a woman who doesn’t need you for a damn thing and knows what it takes to live a truly independent life where you are an accent to an already established life, not one who needs you to build her life.	/r/Divorce_Men	30/06/23 12:42 PM
5	Wife threatens suicide if I leave You are not it. There are trained professionals who deal with this every, single, day. There is no shame calling this professional help and the short-term conflict it may create will absolutely be outweighed by the relief you will feel when you have someone supporting the both of you through this. I kept this shit secret for years and it was shame/fear/ego that drove me to believe I didn't need help of professionals. Finally making that call still ended in divorce, but the threats stopped and fo…	/r/Divorce_Men	05/06/23 06:49 PM
3	Wife threatens suicide if I leave A marriage is not agreement to be a hostage. Having her seek treatment is the goal, which means she takes responsibility for her adult self. People who threaten self harm should always be taken seriously and that means it needs to be exposed external to the relationship. For many, this is the path to finally seeking long-term treatment. I understand the sense of shame that drives many to keep this secret and hold out hope that walking on egg shells and compromising one's self will keep the end f…	/r/Divorce_Men	05/06/23 06:45 PM
25	Wife threatens suicide if I leave As difficult as it will be, you need to take threats of self-harm seriously and report it to the police and mental health support agencies in your area. For some, this is the wake up call they need to finally seek treatment. You also need to proceed with the divorce and know that any choice they make is not your responsibility. Once again, reality of divorce may finally be the rock bottom they need to seek treatment. If there are children involved then this is even more critical because they are…	/r/Divorce_Men	05/06/23 04:33 PM
2	I wish I could understand This is my story as it is with so many on here. Bottom line, I compromised who I was to keep the peace and did “all the right things” you’re told a good husband does and this enabled her entitlement. In hindsight I should have held up my boundaries and called her out more often on her shit and demanded more equal sharing in the household load. If I had done that, I would have been happier, she would have had more respect for me and we’d probably have had a lasting partnership in the end. That, o…	/r/Divorce_Men	26/04/23 09:47 PM
3	Life isn't the same The more you look for “someone” to fill the void left by losing your SO the more you are ignoring who needs to be taken care of (you). Relationships of any type can only be healthy when both parties are healthy, and it’s hardly likely that any of us would truly be “healthy” after a month and half of separation. So searching for someone now is spending energy taking you further away from your best self.	/r/Divorce_Men	26/03/23 12:36 AM
8	Life isn't the same Get comfortable with yourself and time by yourself while you grieve. Do not expect other people to solve how you’re feeling, they’ll be support and temporary escape at best, and if they’re not close friends they’ll likely become energy vampires that prolong your grieving process. Writing random shit about my anger and despair in journal has helped me through the lonely times and helped me get to know myself a little better. If you’ve never journaled before, try object writing as a way to get sta…	/r/Divorce_Men	25/03/23 01:47 PM