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RolloAngerManagement Archive

View 0 posts and 191 comments by RolloAngerManagement on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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7

OYS 18 May 2021 Last OYS. Late 40s | 173cm/5'8" | 68.5Kg/150lb | STBX: late 40s (SAHM) | Together: 16 | Married: 11 | Kids: 4 (youngest 11) Lifts - GSLP (Kg, 3x5): BP: 50, OHP: 33.5, SQ: 62.5, DL (1x5): 75 Reading: The Virtue of Selfishness (second read) Things blew up this week because I let my emotions lead me. We're now divorcing and my financial offer is on the table. My solicitors are instructed. I'm fucking disappointed in myself, again. I better learn my lesson this time, I'm sick of my e…
/r/MarriedRedPill18/05/21 08:59 AM
2

That's great to know, cheers. Could you tell me where should I decide to? Private I assume.
/r/MarriedRedPill12/05/21 06:26 PM
2

From the brief research I've done anything above 8nmol is considered to not require treatment. The sites for private treatment I've looked at also quote this guidance suggesting they won't/can't treat if your above and I'm just under the middle of the scale for normal. I've not directly got in touch with any company to confirm. I've been in two minds about TRT and my result suggests things are ok, or at least my level is not so low I can identify it as cause of any issues. It's tempting to consi…
/r/MarriedRedPill12/05/21 08:44 AM
2

No, I stopped a few months back. I'm looking for something that'll help me with mental focus and clarity, emotional flooding and reactivity (lack of control) and positivity, especially where the future is concerned. There's also some things from the distant past that I'd like to purge. I have plenty of 'tools' and books and advice on all those things all of which I've struggled to apply. There's improvement but it's painfully slow. I'm not expecting a magical cure but a boost in progress would b…
/r/MarriedRedPill12/05/21 07:23 AM
2

Always appreciate your input, thanks you. I'll DM you at the weekend once I've got a bit more structure around it all.
/r/MarriedRedPill11/05/21 07:46 PM
2

OYS 10 May 2021 Last OYS. Late 40s | 173cm/5'8" | 68.2Kg/150lb | STBX: late 40s (SAHM) | Together: 16 | Married: 11 | Kids: 4 (youngest 11) Lifts - GSLP (Kg, 3x5): BP: 47.5, OHP: 33.5, SQ: 62.5, DL (1x5): 75 Reading: The Virtue of Selfishness (second read) I didn't post last week and I can't even remember why but things got on top of me. I continue to flounder and spin my wheels but I'm steadily getting on top of that and applying some focus. I've updated my MAP and I'm now writing out weekly, m…
/r/MarriedRedPill11/05/21 08:58 AM
2

You're uncannily right. I'm ticking boxes all over in a scattergun attempt to get somewhere. It's all pretty fake and incongruent, just me wearing a mask that I like better than my real face. There's no vision or plan or goals beyond lifting and where vision is concerned, never has been. I have some real time to dedicate to all this over the next few days and I'll use it well. Thanks for your really insightful thoughts.
/r/MarriedRedPill01/05/21 07:10 PM
2

Gyms were closed but yes I made no effort to do anything else bar some body-weight crap. No matter my schedule I've got there when they are open. The six weeks was for the lifts, not my weight.
/r/MarriedRedPill01/05/21 06:57 PM
2

I know it will. I've never had a problem turning up and working out. What I've not done is set goals and work towards them, treating just turning up as a win. That's no longer the case. I'm aiming for a target weight of 175 and my lifts back to (still shit) pre covid levels within the next six weeks. Then I'll set a new goal. I'm also going to measure my body more and track that and have some goals around it. With covid I didn't make any effort to keep lifting. A victim mindset that's affected m…
/r/MarriedRedPill01/05/21 06:38 AM
2

My lifts are shit because I've lifted about 3 months out of the last 12 and prior to that I wasn't eating nearly enough. I've no problem turning up and doing the work and I'm certain I'll make good progress with some goals set and the right calories. I see no benefit in someone coaching to do what I'm already doing. Thanks for the offer of a recommendation.
/r/MarriedRedPill01/05/21 06:37 AM
2

Because I'm scared of her and what not being amicable might lead to. Not because I can't handle things on a practical level but because I'm still massively dependent on her where my self esteem and image and even happiness are concerned. I've been trying to break that link for a long time but even separated, assuming she's checked out and planning a divorce it's still pretty strong. I'm reflecting, reading, minimising contact and doing everything I can to tear it down and build myself up but it'…
/r/MarriedRedPill27/04/21 04:52 PM
2

I'm 95% she won't. Honestly I'm scared of that which is why I cling to the likely bullshit she will be. Where is your MAP and how is your progress over the last three months and what action are you taking to improve dramatically in the next three? I want to deer here but you're all right and I need to get my arse in gear in a big way.
/r/MarriedRedPill27/04/21 12:02 PM
2

Why? You've been at this what, two years now? A few things. Firstly I've not eaten nearly enough. Secondly I was lazy during COVID and made no effort, which has certainly fed into my current car crash situation. This applies in many areas. Overall I've not taken it nearly seriously enough. Turning up was good enough, until I couldn't even do that and did jack about it. Sick, so you have a little bit of motivation. That'll last you how long exactly? Yeah I know. I won't allow myself to fail mysel…
/r/MarriedRedPill27/04/21 09:51 AM
2

OYS 27 April 2021 Last week's OYS. Late 40s | 173cm/5'8" | 68.5Kg/151lb | STBX: late 40s (SAHM) | Together: 16 | Married: 11 | Kids: 4 Lifts (Kg, 3x5): BP: 42.5, OHP: 30, SQ: 52.5, DL (1x5): 65 Reading: The Virtue of Selfishness My weight is up, my still pathetic lifts are up. I did 6 bodyweight chinups having never managed more than 4 in the prior two years or so. There's a fire inside me right now. There are brief moments when I'm free and joyful and they are precious. There will be more. Divo…
/r/MarriedRedPill27/04/21 09:03 AM
3

Thank you for the perspective. I wish the mental work and change was as easy, measurable and rewarding as the physical. It'll be worth the effort in the long run however long it takes.
/r/MarriedRedPill20/04/21 01:57 PM
2

Just keep in mind that you will get a lot of advice about hardening up etc There's no doubt I need to do that and I'll work towards it. It's not going to be an overnight transformation and it's unnatural but I'll get there. I'm sure I'll be pushed along somewhat by events which will be helpful but I won't rely on it. Zen said the same thing about action. I had a grand plan going into this initially and I've definitely lost my way and focus but as I said to him, this is something I'm starting to …
/r/MarriedRedPill20/04/21 01:52 PM
2

Damn I'm glad I posted this week, I considered skipping and I know where that would have led. What worked for me was going 100% for the optimal solution FOR ME, and then from there being generous. This is going to take me time too. It's really my ultimate challenge, if I can genuinely put me first everything else follows. I'm in STFU mode and it's working well. The gym quietens my mind down and has been a life saver, as have walks out now the weather is better. You're 100% on taking action. It's…
/r/MarriedRedPill20/04/21 12:56 PM
8

OYS 20th April 2021 Last week's OYS. Late 40s | 173cm/5'8" | 68Kg/149lb | STBX: 40s (SAHM) | Together: 16 | Married: 11 | Kids: 4 Lifts (Kg, 3x5): BP: 40, OHP: 25, SQ: 50, DL (1x5): 60 Reading: The Virtue of Selfishness Week 3 of being separated. I got a fistful of ugly reality shoved down my throat in response to last week's OYS. I knew I would but it still stung and still does. I'm grateful to rocknrollchuck and ImpatientZen for their time and advice. I really did want to delete out and I've h…
/r/MarriedRedPill20/04/21 08:59 AM
1

It's very clear my idea of preparation misses the mark. I've no real clue about assets and debts at that point and have been solely focussed on the final deal. This makes me think you have work to do on not being a helpless retard and that this is more the issue than the concrete circumstances in your situation This is exactly it and it makes me sick that I've not progressed with that at all. Thanks for all the input, it's been a mind blowing few days.
/r/MarriedRedPill15/04/21 02:45 AM
2

Yes. I make all the money (via a company) and pay myself from there to a shared account and under the arrangement transfer half to her account, my half to another of mine. Edit: While I used to do all bills etc she's taken that all over for the house and it comes out of her half.
/r/MarriedRedPill14/04/21 05:51 PM
1

Hard to avoid as it's it's being driven by her, at least that's what I see now. The vision with the separation is that I go off, we each essentially get to a point where we're ok being alone and then we choose to reunite (or not) out of free will, not because we miss each other, we don't want to face the turmoil of a split, we don't want to hurt the kids or whatever. We'll meet each week and have a 'big talk' and basically do some DIY couples therapy based off of my therapy and of course all the…
/r/MarriedRedPill14/04/21 02:18 PM
2

I'd though filing first was just a US thing but it seems it has its advantages here too. It looks like I've discarded a lot already that I shouldn't have on the first few reads. Really my questions are practical. How do I mitigate her getting into to debt for instance? Her debt is mine legally and I can't stop her taking any out. Ditto assault or spending all the savings or anything else. These all seem like things well outside my control, no doubt why you said mitigate. I don't want to be spoon…
/r/MarriedRedPill14/04/21 10:21 AM
2

Hey Zen, I'll be here. Thanks for all this. Much of it and the divorce guides don't apply here but I'll take what's useful. Funnily enough, I see now, the way this has been presented to her family and played out since makes it look like I'm the instigator, just realised that. There's no men her side so that idea is shot. I'm good at STFU but I think it's gonna leak out in other ways. Time to take my beta game to 11. I've lots of stupid questions on what you wrote but I'll do the work I've over t…
/r/MarriedRedPill14/04/21 07:08 AM
2

Have done before but it's been a while so will revisit and do just that. Things are not so slanted in the UK around the financial settlement but I've been blind to so much I won't take any chances. Zipped shut. I would have been that stupid.
/r/MarriedRedPill13/04/21 09:51 PM
2

I'm trying to dismiss this all as people jumping the gun, "next..." as a default position because you don't have the right context. But I can't. I accepted the separation simply because I saw no downsides at the time. If anything there were plusses as she'll demonstrate she can live off the 50%. Thoughts of branch swings were far from my mind and so what, then it's done and I'm out easy without the big bang of get out now and DV charges and all the rest. I was angry and had had enough. Now I'm s…
/r/MarriedRedPill13/04/21 08:36 PM
2

Nuts for agreeing to separation or because I'm not thinking clearly or making any sense?
/r/MarriedRedPill13/04/21 04:24 PM
2

I posted for that very reason this week and hoped for that reality check. I'm not saying your wrong, she may be but for context the separation was her last minute suggestion to avoid divorce. She doesn't gain anything with the arrangement that she wouldn't in a divorce. It could be a case of social status "we tried" too. Or just gives her time to up her SMV before she drops the hammer. Or both. For a little more context and truth, the divorce itself was her suggestion (second time in about four …
/r/MarriedRedPill13/04/21 04:21 PM
3

I spoke to lawyers twice when this started. I don't things change over time. She gets 60% of the house on sale, 50% of my income, 50% of savings etc. Basically I'm on the hook for her retirement already, I don't see a risk there waiting another six months. What matters is that you are treating her as the prize in stead of yourself and that never ends well. You're right there and it's what has kept me around for years. I just can't seem to shake it. What I'm really saying is I don't have the ball…
/r/MarriedRedPill13/04/21 04:07 PM
2

I'm going round in circles with this. She's driven me nuts for years and I've had the longest anger phase ever, but ultimately I've accepted my unhappiness and her behaviour are all my fault. If so, I don't blame her and it's on me to fix myself and mentally I'm in the right place for that after not being so for a long time. I've also the time and space. Where we are now (separated) is also my fault. So don't try and recover it? Am I still lying to myself with all that? I know my oneitis is stro…
/r/MarriedRedPill13/04/21 03:49 PM
2

She was pretty distraught leading up to me moving and that was only a week ago and we've fucked 3 times. So not yet, probably. But she's now wearing makeup for the first time in 10yrs and hitting the gym and all the usual. I see where it's going. It sucks me more into her frame in trying to keep her happy (stop her cheating, don't piss her off) even while separated yet she still has the option to 'make a mistake' and blame it all on the separation. I do too but she gets cash and prizes either wa…
/r/MarriedRedPill13/04/21 03:40 PM
3

I am, always have been although I've not accepted that till recently. Yeah, it was hers, suggested just before we sat the kids down and were gonna tell them we were divorcing.
/r/MarriedRedPill13/04/21 03:03 PM
3

OYS 13th April 2021 Late 40s | 173cm/5'8" | 68Kg/149lb | Wife: 40s (SAHM) | Together: 16 | Married: 11 | Kids: 4 I got a rule 9 ban around six weeks ago. That really drove home how my focus is still her and the relationship. I can't say I've turned that around fully but I'm working on it and moving in the right direction. In the last two weeks I've moved out into my own place and found out my estranged father has 12 weeks to live. It's been the craziest, most stressful time of my life for a long…
/r/MarriedRedPill13/04/21 08:42 AM
2

23rd February 2021 Late 40s | 173cm/5'8" | 70.5Kg/156lb | Wife: 40s (SAHM) | Together: 16 | Married: 11 | Kids: 4 Doing bodyweight HIIT 5 days a week until gyms reopen in mid-April. Late again posting this week, I'll do the bulk of this at the weekend for next week. I was a bit vague about where I was last week and still feel the urge today. I've a ton of paragraphs written but I think I'll save that for an AskMRP victim puke - that story isn't about owning anything. To give you some idea, right…
/r/MarriedRedPill24/02/21 07:59 PM
1

Thanks Blarg. Yeah, I wanted to avoid this turning into a massive victim puke. Things are awful (divorce on the cards, moving out, constant drama, no frame, being emotionally driven) and I've made many mistakes. Despite that I'm mostly positive and I'm sure that I'm on a better path. Maybe not the best path but I certainly feel I've turned a corner, a shame it's been driven by almost a year of failure. You're right about the shame and ego, I have a lot of both, particularly the shame and it's no…
/r/MarriedRedPill19/02/21 11:43 AM
1

15 February 2021 Late 40s | 173cm/5'8" | 70.5Kg/156lb | Wife: 40s (SAHM) | Together: 16 | Married: 11 | Kids: 4 I've been away a long time, nearly all of it wasted. My first series of OYS was wasted time too. I'm back because I'm now open to this process, ready to be honest with myself and ready to dwell in a reality I refused to accept before (itself something I wasn't willing to admit). I've a lot to be ashamed of but there's no point hiding from it. I've being getting some therapy for the las…
/r/MarriedRedPill16/02/21 09:33 PM
1

Yeah. It's a road I've taken a few times before, but mostly the direction has been "let's get you functional" and I'm well past that. Funnily enough the last time I saw one the counsellor thought I should leave my wife. Of course, the hate and anger I'd expressed wasn't really about my wife at all and I was way too much of a pussy to even consider it. I know what the issues are. I've doubted the benefit of exploring them in depth in the past, and going back so far into my past but after giving t…
/r/MarriedRedPill26/05/20 11:52 AM
1

National health service. It's slow but generally good (for serious issues) once you've jumped through the right hoops. No real alternative that doesn't cost the earth.
/r/MarriedRedPill16/05/20 08:01 AM
1

The Ironwood Collection Of Alpha Moves, Saving A Low Sex Marriage and Bigger Leaner Stronger
/r/MarriedRedPill12/05/20 12:03 PM
1

Yes, and that's why I started again. I'm more aware of the dangers this time which is not much help but something. How I generate that internal drive? A little at a time I hope, it'll have to do. I don't think I'm giving myself a pass. It's simply a realisation that just because I've been going to the gym X3 a week and the weights were going up (pre lockdown anyway) that I'm still a long way off my potential or even average and the drinking and vaping are pushing me backward.
/r/MarriedRedPill12/05/20 11:56 AM
1

12 May - OYS #24 OYS #1 | OYS #5 | OYS #10 |OYS #15 | OYS #20 | OYS #21 | OYS #22 | OYS #23 Late 40s | 173cm/5'8" | 70.5Kg/156lb | Wife: 40s (SAHM) | Together: 14 | Married: 10 | Kids: 4 Lifting (Kg/lb): BP (2x8): 52.5/115, SQ (2x6): 82.5/181, OHP (2x6): 37.5/82, DL (1): 100/220, ROW (5): 50/110 Weekly exercise: JuJitsu x1, Lifting x3 Bodyweight exercises x1, yoga x3, walks x4 Dread: Still working on missing parts of 1-3 Read: Pookx3, Poon, WISNIFG, NMMNGx2, TRM, MAP, MMSLP, TICOAM, Sidebar, SAL…
/r/MarriedRedPill12/05/20 08:45 AM
1

How are you going to right the ship? You're just spinning your wheels. I really don't know [lots of complaining I deleted] and yeah I absolutely am. Yeah the reading is getting me nowhere. 23 OYS and you haven't learned shit. That's what I'm seeing. I wonder if I give enough of a shit about myself to really make a change. Weak as fuck but maybe true. What's your plan for the next 7 days with SMART goals. Give me just three and fucking hit them. I will not drink alcohol and find an alternative wa…
/r/MarriedRedPill14/04/20 04:22 PM
2

Initially I defensively took that to mean I'm shit. That's not what you meant (although I am). My expectations of her don't match reality and her reality hasn't changed. Thanks
/r/MarriedRedPill14/04/20 03:43 PM
1

OYS #23 OYS #1 | OYS #5 | OYS #10 |OYS #15 | OYS #20 | OYS #21 | OYS #22 Late 40s | 173cm/5'8" | 72Kg/159lb | Wife: 40s (SAHM) | Together: 14 | Married: 10 | Kids: 4 Lifting (Kg/lb): BP (3x10-12): 47.5/105, SQ (2x10-12): 75/165, OHP (2x6): 37.5/82, DL (2x10-12): 70/154, ROW (5): 50/110 Weekly exercise: 1x Bodyweight exercises, daily walks Dread: Still working on missing parts of 1-3 Read: Pookx3, Poon, WISNIFG, NMMNGx2, TRM, MAP, MMSLP, TICOAM, Sidebar, SALSM, This Naked Mind, Allen Carr's Easyw…
/r/MarriedRedPill14/04/20 09:17 AM
1

OK, seems I was wrong then.
/r/MarriedRedPill03/04/20 04:03 PM
2

You're doing well, keep going. Solid response.
/r/MarriedRedPill03/04/20 08:32 AM
2

Nice stats, in my noob opinion. Bench is oddly low mind. No she didn't, it ha gradually got worse over time. What do you suggest it could be? You, you're not a guy that actually makes her hot. She was auditioning and now she has you locked down ... Yep my Idea to come off it. She doesn't want kids for 2 more years and we will be using condoms. ... and all that's left is to have some babies and give you enough to keep you providing. But you're in the right place to at least perhaps build yourself…
/r/MarriedRedPill03/04/20 08:26 AM
1

Is 'alone time' the usual 'code' you two use?
/r/MarriedRedPill03/04/20 08:14 AM
2

Welcome. What are your lifts? You are pretty light. Did your wife look like she had a low libido when you first dated? I don't think it's the pill. Looks like she hooked you as she comes up to the wall and you're the beta bux. And it was your idea she come off the pill? Pregnancy imminent. Re activity 2, is that what you did? Did you crave attention and validation? Can you remember if you ever did? Trying to get you to think deeper. See you next week.
/r/MarriedRedPill02/04/20 07:51 PM
1

Your wife told you she couldn't do it anymore and you stood there and let her do it. Then you tried to take over at the end, clearly communicating you didn't like how she was doing the thing she just told you she couldn't do anymore. Got it. Why can't you have sex at the in-laws? DEER Away. You're date night is a fucking big fat obvious covert contract attempt to get laid. I'm seeing a pattern.
/r/MarriedRedPill02/04/20 07:35 PM
2

Glad the job came through. Things are shit. Good job on the house and the cooking, it's a good thing for your son's to see. Keep going. She's divorcing you, start calling her your STBX and stop listing when you last had sex with her - do not ever have sex with her again FFS. If I were you I would skip the whole relationship section or at least rename it DIVORCE. Time to move on and grasp the opportunity ahead of you. Look forward, the worst is over. What's your diet and sleep like? Are you suppl…
/r/MarriedRedPill02/04/20 07:19 PM
1

Hard to be patient with time moving so fast but I hear you.
/r/MarriedRedPill02/04/20 07:07 PM
1

I'm keenly conscious of that truth and just as keen to believe that's not how she see's me. Fuck.
/r/MarriedRedPill31/03/20 04:38 PM
2

Yep, it's laughable. It's not the quarantine. I had 2 and a half weeks off before it kicked in, with kids at school and what do you know, she implemented her own lockdown. Things had been on the up beforehand and we've never had so much opportunity. She literally doesn't own a dress. Won't buy any clothes till she's 'lost the weight'. Ditto with underwear. Doing anything 'for me' is not something she'll entertain. If you asked me what value my wife brings, I'd say she can cook well and does the …
/r/MarriedRedPill31/03/20 03:21 PM
1

I wish I was being an adult about it but I'm not. She's blatantly giving me a list of requirements to be met before she'll bang and frankly she can fuck off with that. These include going to bed very late (probably after watching some shit film). If it's early, I get a comment about 'you must be tired'. I get up at 6 so I want to go to bed at a decent time in the week. When I was off it was hints that she wanted to be taken out. Lately it's comments about how much time we've spent together. She'…
/r/MarriedRedPill31/03/20 03:10 PM
3

So you can write a proper OYS. Good. It's like there's a different person at the keyboard.
/r/MarriedRedPill31/03/20 02:47 PM
2

OYS #22 OYS #1 | OYS #5 | OYS #10 |OYS #15 | OYS #20 | OYS #21 Late 40s | 173cm/5'8" | 72.8Kg/160lb | Wife: 40s (SAHM) | Together: 14 | Married: 10 | Kids: 4 Lifting (Kg/lb): BP (3x10-12): 47.5/105, SQ (2x10-12): 75/165, OHP (2x6): 37.5/82, DL (2x10-12): 70/154, ROW (5): 50/110 Weekly exercise: 3x Bodyweight exercises, lots of walking, random pushups Dread: Still working on missing parts of 1-3 Read: Pookx3, Poon, WISNIFG, NMMNGx2, TRM, MAP, MMSLP, TICOAM, Sidebar, SALSM, This Naked Mind, The Le…
/r/MarriedRedPill31/03/20 08:27 AM
1

Good stuff.
/r/MarriedRedPill31/03/20 07:47 AM
2

Thanks yet again. You are absolutely right about sitting on the negative side. I never did get the book ("let's focus on NMMNG") but I will as it's gonna take me a while to work through NMMNG properly and I don't think it'll be a distraction. Signed up for the email list and it's good shit. More exercises? Fuck :-)
/r/MarriedRedPill31/03/20 06:36 AM
1

Click 'Switch to markdown' and do your formatting using Markdown (switch back to the 'fancypants' editor to see what it will look like). Here's a quick guide: https://www.markdownguide.org/basic-syntax/. All you really need to read are the parts about how to make things bold and italic and maybe how to do headings. It'll take you two minutes.
/r/MarriedRedPill25/03/20 07:52 AM
1

Sounds like you need to revisit WISNIFG at least. See you next week.
/r/MarriedRedPill25/03/20 07:43 AM
1

It's good. I was nervous switching from 5x5. The workouts are shorter but I'm just as sore, if not more so - I do slightly higher reps/lower weights as I'm an oldish fart. It's more varied. The IF is optional. I did it for a couple of months and lost weight despite eating like shit but found I was struggling to concentrate in the late morning. I Need to get back to it now I'm eating better and see if that's still the case. I still struggle with getting enough protein. In any case, I look much, m…
/r/MarriedRedPill25/03/20 07:41 AM
1

Lifting stats? Read anything? Do you have a MAP? Why are you here? I'm sure I remember some of your other posts but you seem to have deleted them? Protecting your ego and hiding your failures? That's not really how this works. IIRC They are all as lazy, short and vague as this one.
/r/MarriedRedPill24/03/20 03:44 PM
2

Thanks. It definitely slows down progress in the gym, especially since I've been off work/WFH when I can vape more. Don't fancy gum but if it comes to it I will. Really I think it's the mental part that's the problem, not the physical addiction.
/r/MarriedRedPill24/03/20 03:27 PM
1

https://www.reddit.com/r/NMMNG might help you with some examples around the exercises, it did so for me when my I couldn't think and just needed a little nudge to get my mind focused in the right way for the exercises rather than skip through fast (then it wouldn't shut up).
/r/MarriedRedPill24/03/20 12:30 PM
2

Appreciate the input as always, thank you. This is what I don't do, so I spin in a circle. I'm ready not to! Cheers
/r/MarriedRedPill24/03/20 12:26 PM
1

OYS #21 OYS #1 | OYS #5 | OYS #10 |OYS #15 | OYS #16 | OYS #17 | OYS #18 | OYS #19 | OYS #20 Late 40s | 173cm/5'8" | 73.4Kg/161lb | Wife: 40s (SAHM) | Together: 14 | Married: 10 | Kids: 4 Lifting (Kg/lb): BP (3x10-12): 47.5/105, SQ (2x10-12): 75/165, OHP (2x6): 37.5/82, DL (2x10-12): 70/154, ROW (5): 50/110 Weekly exercise (this week|last week): JuJitsu cancelled, Lifting x2 | JuJitsu x1, Lifting x3 Dread: Still working on missing parts of 1-3 Read: Pookx3, Poon, WISNIFG, NMMNGx2, TRM, MAP, MMSL…
/r/MarriedRedPill24/03/20 08:32 AM
1

Thanks, this is useful, appreciated.
/r/MarriedRedPill13/03/20 07:05 AM
1

OYS #20 OYS #1 | OYS #5 | OYS #10 |OYS #15 | OYS #16 | OYS #17 | OYS #18 | OYS #19 Late 40s | 173cm/5'8" | 73Kg/160lb | Wife: 40s (SAHM) | Together: 14 | Married: 10 | Kids: 4 Lifting (Kg/lb): BP (2x8): 52.5/115, SQ (2x6): 82.5/181, OHP (2x6): 37.5/82, DL (1): 100/220, ROW (5): 50/110 Weekly exercise: JuJitsu x1, Lifting x3 Dread: Still working on missing parts of 1-3 Read: Pookx3, Poon, WISNIFG, NMMNGx2, TRM, MAP, MMSLP, TICOAM, Sidebar, SALSM, This Naked Mind, Allen Carr's Easyway Express Stop…
/r/MarriedRedPill10/03/20 12:11 PM
2

OYS #19 OYS #1 | OYS #2 | OYS #3 | OYS #4 | OYS #5 | OYS #6 | OYS #7 | OYS #8 | OYS #9 | OYS #10 | OYS #11 | OYS #12 | OYS #13 | OYS #14 | OYS #15 | OYS #16 | OYS #17 | OYS #18 Late 40s | 173cm/5'8" | 74Kg/163lb | Wife: 40s (SAHM) | Together: 14 | Married: 10 | Kids: 4 (2 < 15, 2 step > 20) Lifting (Kg/lb): BP (2x8): 52.5/115, SQ (2x6): 75/165, OHP (2x6): 37.5/82, DL (1): 100/220, ROW (5): 50/110 Weekly exercise: Lifting x2, Jujitsu x1, Yoga x1 Dread: Still working on missing parts of 1-3 Read: …
/r/MarriedRedPill25/02/20 10:45 AM
1

Goals: Do more work on developing a vision and mission so I have something to aim for and motivate me Find ways to relax and something I actually enjoy doing and do it Stop vaping, stop drinking (again), stop eating shit Plans meals and execute as necessary Get back to reading and doing the work on the basics whenever possible - have done a fair bit Keep looking for a role closer to home - do more Pay more attention, provide more comfort Switch workouts to modified Leangains
/r/MarriedRedPill18/02/20 02:48 PM
1

OYS #18 OYS #1 | OYS #2 | OYS #3 | OYS #4 | OYS #5 | OYS #6 | OYS #7 | OYS #8 | OYS #9 | OYS #10 | OYS #11 | OYS #12 | OYS #13 | OYS #14 | OYS #15 | OYS #16 | OYS #17 Late 40s | 173cm/5'8" | 74Kg/163lb | Wife: 40s (SAHM) | Together: 14 | Married: 10 | Kids: 4 (2 < 15, 2 step > 20) Lifting (Kg/lb): BP (2x8): 52.5/115, SQ (2x6): 75/165, OHP (2x6): 37.5/82, DL (1): 100/220, ROW (5): 50/110 Weekly exercise: Lifting x3 Dread: Still working on missing parts of 1-3 Read: Pookx3, Poon, WISNIFG, NMMNGx2,…
/r/MarriedRedPill18/02/20 02:48 PM
1

Yeah it's fucking pathetic and really wasn't that hard when I managed 5 weeks late last year (and I was so damn proud). I've got nothing. I will if I can't do it by the weekend. Thanks for the kick and book recommendation.
/r/MarriedRedPill13/02/20 09:42 AM
1

Yes, damn frustrating.
/r/MarriedRedPill13/02/20 09:35 AM
1

Damn right.
/r/MarriedRedPill13/02/20 09:34 AM
1

That's the idea yes. Legally I assume I still have a claim in some way, all assets would be shared 50/50 (or whatever a judge decided if it came to that) and I'd have my half of the sale tucked away of course. But practically when dealing with the police, government agencies etc. I wouldn't be confident even if it was all in my name where DV charges and right to stay/entry etc. are concerned, let alone if it was all in hers. It's not really the issue though, the issue is she feels the need to pr…
/r/MarriedRedPill11/02/20 04:26 PM
1

I really appreciate this. Let's see what I can do with it.
/r/MarriedRedPill11/02/20 01:34 PM
1

Just hers
/r/MarriedRedPill11/02/20 01:30 PM
1

I don't know, the comfort dial has been on 11 since and she's now demanding she solely gets the mortgage and her name on any new house we buy (with her half of the money from the current house we're selling) and we're back to the silent treatment. I would of course be paying for just about everything regardless. I know this is tickling my insecurities (she'll feel she has every right to kick me out when she feels like and she'll definitely feel like it) so very likely the comfort gets dropped wh…
/r/MarriedRedPill11/02/20 11:42 AM
1

OYS #17 OYS #1 | OYS #2 | OYS #3 | OYS #4 | OYS #5 | OYS #6 | OYS #7 | OYS #8 | OYS #9 | OYS #10 | OYS #11 | OYS #12 | OYS #13 | OYS #14 | OYS #15 | OYS #16 Late 40s | 173cm/5'8" | 74Kg/163lb | Wife: 40s (SAHM) | Together: 14 | Married: 10 | Kids: 4 (2 < 15, 2 step > 20) Lifting (Kg/lb): BP (2x8): 52.5/115, SQ (2x6): 82.5/181, OHP (2x6): 37.5/82, DL (1): 100/220, ROW (5): 50/110 Weekly exercise: Lifting x3, Yoga x1 Dread: Still working on missing parts of 1-3 Read: Pookx3, Poon, WISNIFG, NMMNGx2…
/r/MarriedRedPill11/02/20 09:41 AM
2

Why the fuck are you engaged to this girl and planning to get married if you've only been with her since last May? Fucking hell. When did you propose? I hope you realize she's a smaller part of your bigger problem, which is yourself. How about you do the work and run the programme here?
/r/askMRP05/02/20 01:43 PM
1

Good question. The answer to this is revealing. I generally just STFU, probably in an autistic way. This is an improvement on my previous whining, trying to manage her emotions and pacify her or trying to 'win'. I'm generally not phased and I'll get on with my shit and speak to her normally. I don't brood and I reset the next day. I've still a long way to go to be truly oi and build a life outside of the house or manage AA/AM with ease. I'm still scared of her and whether she'll escalate if she'…
/r/MarriedRedPill05/02/20 06:40 AM
2

How can you truly believe you are the prize (and act accordingly) if your mission literally makes her the prize? No woman wants a man who does that and the responsibility for a man's happiness. Why would you place your happiness and fulfillment into someone else's hands? Scared of that responsibility yourself? You haven't looked at the sidebar or maybe not understood it? Get started. big house, nice car, doesn't have to work, I am a damn good father Choking on the red pill I see, these count for…
/r/MarriedRedPill04/02/20 05:21 PM
1

What I did read was great, it really had a big impact and I really need to get back to it, finish it and take some notes and do the exercises. Will probably do that in parallel with NMMNG. What did you think?
/r/MarriedRedPill04/02/20 04:36 PM
2

You're welcome. Check this out to start with (if you haven't already), it covers both anger and my other point: https://www.reddit.com/r/marriedredpill/comments/6daorr/anger_your_best_diagnostic_tool/. By look within I mean stop blaming others/looking externally for how you feel and how your life is, it is what you made it. Take responsibility for what has led you to where you are - you have agency and control in most areas of your life and any other belief is an ego-driven lie. Your problems ar…
/r/MarriedRedPill04/02/20 04:32 PM
2

Lots of good here but... Your mission is your wife. There's a big covert contract there. For as long as you need her she'll see through your shit and you'll jump through her hoops and fail. I don't see how you can 'run the program' here (abundance, oi, dngaf, dread, frame etc.). If your goal is to 'win her back' how can you be the prize. Your looking backwards not forwards and running a dancing monkey programme. And enough with the pot, you're using it as a buffer and an escape.
/r/MarriedRedPill04/02/20 02:40 PM
3

Still angry then. The daughter isn't hers right? You were suicidal last year and now you're not. She's seen you at your absolute lowest, jobless and all, had to handle and lead you and your kid and treats you accordingly and you think she's being a bitch and fantasize about fucking other women (none of whom would touch you with a barge pole if they'd seen you back then). How about you back the fuck off and take a good look at yourself and remember she reflects you. You don't like what you see an…
/r/MarriedRedPill04/02/20 02:13 PM
1

Welcome. If you need help and motivation to stop drinking I highly recommend This Naked Mind. Reading the sidebar? Start if you haven't. How often you hitting the gym?
/r/MarriedRedPill04/02/20 11:52 AM
1

I hope you do. I'm a big reader and thinker and it's not helped, has possibly made things worse. Doing and applying are key as your lack of progress (and mine beforehand) has shown. The accountability and reflection on what you have done and applied and will do, that posting to OYS brings, is priceless.
/r/askMRP04/02/20 10:16 AM
2

OYS #16 OYS #1 | OYS #2 | OYS #3 | OYS #4 | OYS #5 | OYS #6 | OYS #7 | OYS #8 | OYS #9 | OYS #10 | OYS #11 | OYS #12 | OYS #13 | OYS #14 | OYS #15 Late 40s | 173cm/5'8" | 74Kg/163lb | Wife: 40s (SAHM) | Together: 14 | Married: 10 | Kids: 4 (2 < 15, 2 step > 20) Lifting (all x5 | Kg/lb): BP (5): 50/110, SQ (5): 82.5/181, OHP (5): 37.5/82, DL (1): 100/220, ROW (5): 50/110 Weekly exercise: JuJitsu x1, Lifting x2 Dread: Still working on missing parts of 1-3 Read: Pookx3, Poon, WISNIFG, NMMNGx2, TRM,…
/r/MarriedRedPill04/02/20 09:46 AM
2

Three weeks later, still no OYS post. What a fucking waste of everyone's time.
/r/askMRP03/02/20 02:42 PM
2

Can't wait to be at that point. Thanks.
/r/MarriedRedPill29/01/20 06:41 AM
1

Got you. Thanks
/r/MarriedRedPill29/01/20 06:40 AM
1

Cheers man, plenty of badgers round here. I should have a lot more time to read in a few weeks, I'll make sure that's on the list after I've reread the basics.
/r/MarriedRedPill28/01/20 09:23 PM
2

I appreciate the attempt to help but the fact you still vape, even if socially tells me this probably isn't the way to go. I want to do this and not miss it, actually enjoy being free. I did it cold a while back and only three days of drinking and the horrors of Christmas pushed me back. My experience of cutting back on frequency is that you can, till something happens and then it's worse than before. Really I'm just scared to face that first day or two till your mind stops screaming. Will do it…
/r/MarriedRedPill28/01/20 09:17 PM
1

Thanks man, was really hoping for that hug though. Flip it or you didn't just fail a big shit test I don't get this? Could you rephrase? Your goal or are you just along to pay for it? Yeah, the move was... No wait, no it fucking wasn't or isn't. Fuck the blindness. Nah, it's what she wants because where we live now is 'boring' or whatever. I thought we could make some cash along the way and it puts us back into a house where the older kids don't have so much freedom and privacy (like everyone el…
/r/MarriedRedPill28/01/20 09:00 PM
1

Yeah, I'm gonna play, and have been playing, it safe and things are definitely improving. Thanks man.
/r/MarriedRedPill28/01/20 10:03 AM
2

OYS #15 OYS #1 | OYS #2 | OYS #3 | OYS #4 | OYS #5 | OYS #6 | OYS #7 | OYS #8 | OYS #9 | OYS #10 | OYS #11 | OYS #12 | OYS #13 | OYS #14 | OYS #15 Late 40s | 173cm/5'8" | 74Kg/163lb | Wife: 40s (SAHM) | Together: 14 | Married: 10 | Kids: 4 (2 < 15, 2 step > 20) Lifting (all x5 | Kg/lb): BP (5): 50/110, SQ (5): 82.5/181, OHP (5): 37.5/82, DL (1): 100/220, ROW (5): 50/110 Weekly exercise: Lifting x3 Dread: Still working on missing parts of 1-3 Read: Pookx3, Poon, WISNIFG, NMMNGx2, TRM, MAP, MMSLP,…
/r/MarriedRedPill28/01/20 09:46 AM
1

Thanks for your comments. I was planning on trap bar deadlifts tonight which I believe will be easier on my lower back (I've never done them). Do you not think so? I'll find out soon enough I imagine. I'll do some more reading on what I might replace it with assuming not. I'll stick with whatever that is and the low row machine till things are better for sure. Cheers
/r/MarriedRedPill23/01/20 10:22 AM
1

Thanks for your story. I'll keep that in mind - I'm positive. Cheers
/r/MarriedRedPill21/01/20 03:33 PM
3

Inspiring. I hope the job comes through. A move, a new job and then a divorce. That'll be where your energy goes for a long time. Sounds like it's well worth the effort. Edit: last bit
/r/MarriedRedPill21/01/20 10:59 AM
2

21 January 2020 - OYS #14 OYS #1 | OYS #2 | OYS #3 | OYS #4 | OYS #5 | OYS #6 | OYS #7 | OYS #8 | OYS #9 | OYS #10 | OYS #11 | OYS #12 | OYS #13 Late 40s | 173cm/5'8" | 75Kg/165lb | Wife: 40s (SAHM) | Together: 14 | Married: 10 | Kids: 4 (2 < 15, 2 step > 20) Lifting (all x5 | Kg/lb): BP (5): 49/108, SQ (5): 80/176, OHP (5): 37.5/82, DL (1): 100/220, ROW (5): 50/110 Weekly exercise: JuJitsu x1, Yoga x1, Lifting x3 Dread: Still working on missing parts of 1-3 Read: Pookx3, Poon, WISNIFG, NMMNGx2,…
/r/MarriedRedPill21/01/20 10:24 AM
2

I'm late to this and it looks like you've got things well covered from a practical and mental perspective. I've not seen much comment on the experience itself so I'll add a few things that come to mind around my own divorce (I initiated, no kids, 18 month battle over money) way back when: Someone has perhaps already said this but expect things to be fucking hard at times and worse than you'd expect, for periods at least You're gonna get real angry, real often as she presses those buttons and soc…
/r/askMRP20/01/20 06:20 PM
1

Thanks once again. That's exactly how I'm prioritising, I'm planning on using a lot of time this weekend getting ahead on study for a certification that'll improve my chances. I actually got help with cancelling those last few items so I don't think I'm going to face any resistance around money and the budget, but we'll see and I'll keep that at the front of my mind. The two main cards seem to have a constant rolling deal with 0% for 12 months even on cash 'advances' or whatever they call it. I'…
/r/MarriedRedPill17/01/20 01:25 PM
1

I couldn't agree more. It's a very last resort and won't be necessary if the house sale goes through. I've been well aware this is an issue for many years and I've tried to build some savings in preparation for situations like this but failed miserably (I have about 1900 stashed right now). I'm simply trying to support too many people on too little and I've been too weak to have the fight when there has been spare and holidays start coming up. That's changing, slowly.
/r/MarriedRedPill17/01/20 06:58 AM
1

Thanks for the support. Yeah, great book and I think I'm gonna be just fine with the drink. I need to find something similar around the vaping as that's proving to be the real tough one. I'll pick up something by Allen Carr asap. Right now I'm just diving into study and the job hunt but getting out is definitely something I need to do. It's a bitch living in the countryside. Have signed up to meetup but expect lots of travel. Also plan to lookup college evening classes.
/r/MarriedRedPill16/01/20 09:41 AM
2

I'm not sure why but this kicked off a huge amount of thinking about the bigger problems I have, or perhaps I should rephrase that as the wider issues I have in my life and relationship. I wrote a huge fucking response. I won't bore you with it but it the end result/conclusion (again) is that I really have a ridiculous amount of work to do and the base reality is I'm a weak fuck mentally as well as physically. That's really what I said in this OYS anyway so it doesn't add much other than depress…
/r/MarriedRedPill16/01/20 09:17 AM
1

Thanks for your thoughts. I think I've read about this somewhere here I think. I'll keep it in mind and if I have to do it like this I will but it seems like a very blunt approach and rather negative.
/r/MarriedRedPill15/01/20 06:52 AM
1

Thanks. That's my intention, I know how easy it is slip back at this point. I was at the physio for another back issue (not training related) and was still hoping this one would resolve itself. I'll get into more detail with her this weekend when I'm back.
/r/MarriedRedPill15/01/20 06:44 AM
1

Thanks I'll take a look.
/r/MarriedRedPill15/01/20 06:31 AM
1

Don't I know it. I actually got deloaded on BP (and others) and am working my way back up, it'll be 48Kg next session (going up in 1Kg increments because of the deload). Sleep, diet and form are all OK, I know they could all be better but are at least good enough. I'm supplementing, taking creatine and having protein shakes. Not drinking and vaping (for as long as that lasted) didn't seem to make a difference. I don't get it, or, more likely based on recent shit, not seeing the obvious.
/r/MarriedRedPill14/01/20 11:30 AM
2

Yeah it's hard, but I get on with it and I've no doubt of the benefits. Strong pain getting up from a chair, putting my shoes on or from anything else involving me bending, not so much. I'm not looking for a break or a way out, this is about the only thing I've made real progress with, but I'm also not looking to fuck myself and become even weaker. Faggot DEER achievement unlocked no doubt.
/r/MarriedRedPill14/01/20 11:16 AM
2

OYS #13 OYS #1 | OYS #2 | OYS #3 | OYS #4 | OYS #5 | OYS #6 | OYS #7 | OYS #8 | OYS #9 | OYS #10 | OYS #11 | OYS #12 Late 40s | 173cm/5'8" | 77Kg/169lb | Wife: 40s (SAHM) | Together: 14 | Married: 10 | Kids: 4 (2 < 15, 2 step > 20) Lifting (all x5 | Kg/lb): BP (5): 52.5/115, SQ (5): 72.5/159, OHP (5): 37.5/82, DL (1): 100/220, ROW (5): 52.5/115 Weekly exercise: JuJitsu x1, Yoga x1, Lifting x2 Dread: Still working on missing parts of 1-3 Read: Pookx3, Poon, WISNIFG, NMMNGx2, TRM, MAP, MMSLP, TICO…
/r/MarriedRedPill14/01/20 09:21 AM
1

Thanks, I really appreciate your time and thoughts. That's exactly the attitude and approach I need. That'll be the case when the sale completes. I'm fully in control of the finances thank fuck.
/r/MarriedRedPill12/01/20 06:08 PM
2

Thanks man.
/r/MarriedRedPill12/01/20 06:00 PM
2

Thanks. Her being a SAHM was my choice. One I've long resented the results of. She has, until recently, wasted the time on socialising, ridiculous projects, spending or doing way too much for the kids - anything other than keeping the house running in the way I'd want and raising the kids in a way I'd like. I've all the blame here in letting it happen and not asserting myself and making my expectations clear. I now have a house full of entitled kids who can do no wrong, have too much done for th…
/r/MarriedRedPill12/01/20 04:07 PM
1

Thanks, I appreciate the advice. It's The Eisenhower Matrix and funnily enough I used to use it at work many, many years ago. I'll print a few out and get on it for this week, as well as simply cutting out a ton of shit I simply don't have time for until I can get the basics down and do more without thinking too much. There is no option to be out of work. This has been a intractable problem for a long time (and a massive risk should I become ill/have an accident), mostly due to having to house s…
/r/MarriedRedPill12/01/20 04:00 PM
1

OYS #12 OYS #1 | OYS #2 | OYS #3 | OYS #4 | OYS #5 | OYS #6 | OYS #7 | OYS #8 | OYS #9 | OYS #10 | OYS #11 Late 40s | 173cm/5'8" | 77Kg/169lb | Wife: 40s (SAHM) | Together: 14 | Married: 10 | Kids: 4 (2 < 15, 2 step > 20) Lifting (all x5 | Kg/lb): BP (5): 52.5/115, SQ (5): 72.5/159, OHP (5): 37.5/82, DL (1): 100/220, ROW (5): 50/110 Weekly exercise: JuJitsu x1, Lifting x3 Dread: Still working on missing parts of 1-3 Read: Pookx3, Poon, WISNIFG, NMMNGx2, TRM, MAP, MMSLP, TICOAM, Sidebar, SALSM, T…
/r/MarriedRedPill10/01/20 10:34 AM
1

06 January 2020 - OYS #12 OYS #1 | OYS #2 | OYS #3 | OYS #4 | OYS #5 | OYS #6 | OYS #7 | OYS #8 | OYS #9 | OYS #10 | OYS #11 Late 40s | 173cm/5'8" | 77Kg/169lb | Wife: 40s (SAHM) | Together: 14 | Married: 10 | Kids: 4 (2 < 15, 2 step > 20) Lifting (all x5 | Kg/lb): BP (5): 52.5/115, SQ (5): 72.5/159, OHP (5): 37.5/82, DL (1): 100/220, ROW (5): 50/110 Weekly exercise: JuJitsu x1, Lifting x3 Dread: Still working on missing parts of 1-3 Read: Pookx3, Poon, WISNIFG, NMMNGx2, TRM, MAP, MMSLP, TICOAM,…
/r/MarriedRedPill09/01/20 05:37 PM
2

OYS #11 OYS #1 | OYS #2 | OYS #3 | OYS #4 | OYS #5 | OYS #6 | OYS #7 | OYS #8 | OYS #9 | OYS #10 Late 40s | 173cm/5'8" | 77Kg/169lb | BF: 30% | Wife: 40s (SAHM) | Together: 14 | Married: 10 | Kids: 4 (2 < 15, 2 step > 20) Lifting (x5) Kg/lb: BP (5): 52.5/115, SQ (5): 75/165, OHP (5): 37.5/82, DL (1): 90/198, ROW (5): 50/110 Weekly exercise: Lifting x3 Dread: Still working on missing parts of 1-3 Read: Pookx3, Poon, WISNIFG, NMMNGx2, TRM, MAP, MMSLP, TICOAM, Sidebar, SALSM, This Naked Mind and so…
/r/MarriedRedPill31/12/19 02:41 PM
1

OYS #10 OYS #1 | OYS #2 | OYS #3 | OYS #4 | OYS #5 | OYS #6 | OYS #7 | OYS #8 | OYS #9 Late 40s | 173cm/5'8" | 75Kg/165lb | Wife: 40s (SAHM) | Together: 14 | Married: 10 | Kids: 4 (2 < 15, 2 step > 20) Lifting (all x5 | Kg/lb): BP (5): 52.5/115, SQ (5): 72.5/159, OHP (5): 37.5/82, DL (1): 90/198, ROW (5): 50/110 Exercise this week: JuJitsu x2, Lifting x3 Dread: Still working on missing parts of 1-3 Read: Pookx3, Poon, WISNIFG, NMMNGx2, TRM, MAP, MMSLP, TICOAM, Sidebar, SALSM, This Naked Mind and…
/r/MarriedRedPill24/12/19 01:14 PM
1

I can list them all OK. Most do but your choice. It makes it harder for me and others to understand where you're at without it esp. with a low OYS count. So I think you're identifying a validation issue I struggle with writing about myself but knowing there's an audience. It's hard not to preempt and predict and DEER in anticipation. You should resist that both in what you write and what you do. Be honest with yourself and your words, take your knocks and do what you think is necessary, which wo…
/r/MarriedRedPill19/12/19 10:11 AM
2

You don't seem to have any of the standard reading material listed which I find odd, any plans on hitting the sidebar and reading the 101 books? Looks like you have actually, you should list them. What are your goals in the short and medium term? From your OYS #2: There is no dread levels because I do not exhibit nor even have the confidence to game other women I am a fat fuck faggot... What changed in two short weeks? Why do you want to game other women? It's way too early for that.
/r/MarriedRedPill18/12/19 07:37 PM
2

Welcome. Because I'm 47 I hate you already. If you're a virgin I'll feel slightly better. Definitely ask your tutor about the typical dress for the board meeting. As for clothes on a budget, use charity shops if you have them there. Wait for big retail chain sales (must be one straight after Christmas). Find the cheap but good enough shops. Ask your sister or a female friend what they would do on a budget. As for what to buy, maybe checkout Well Built Style online and on Twitter.
/r/MarriedRedPill18/12/19 07:27 PM
1

I know what my passion is, what gets me 'in the zone' (and it's not baking cakes). It's not particularly relaxing though (somewhat related to my professional life). I also wonder if it's a deep and indirect way of seeking external validation. All bets are off these days, I know I'm blind to a lot, just not what that is. This gives me a different way to think about it, thanks, I might just turn up something. Cheers dude
/r/MarriedRedPill18/12/19 04:58 PM
1

Welcome. Your story, as linked, is not there, it shows as deleted. Did you marry just because she got pregnant (as your stats suggest)? So your wife cheated, that really sucks. Why is dread even something you are thinking about? Is it just a useful framework for self improvement (rather than a indirect means of improving your sex life with your wife)? Edit: Added welcome and marriage question.
/r/MarriedRedPill18/12/19 04:52 PM
3

This revelation moved me, as your journey so far has. I'm just a fucking stranger on the internet, as you are to most here, but for what it's worth, more *strength* to you.
/r/MarriedRedPill18/12/19 04:44 PM
1

I was going to respond yesterday with "yeah, I try but I just can't get back to sleep unless I sort it" but I thought I'd try a bit harder last night. Managed the whole night. Woke up a good few times but simply didn't get up and went back to sleep soon enough. I imagine in a few days the message will get across. Simple shit, jeez. Thanks man.
/r/MarriedRedPill18/12/19 06:27 AM
1

Thanks. Good point. I'm not sure I know how these days; it's alien not using drink for that. Sounds crazy but I need to give some real thought to what I can do instead.
/r/MarriedRedPill18/12/19 06:22 AM
2

New: If I am busy owning my shit then others should be too New: If i show physical affection or comfort then it must be appreciated If I show people kindness it should be rewarded with appreciation Damn! Thanks, this is me. This is why I love OYS. No idea how you can read 4 books at once and actually absorb anything.
/r/MarriedRedPill17/12/19 10:18 AM
0

OYS #9 OYS #1 | OYS #2 | OYS #3 | OYS #4 | OYS #5 | OYS #6 | OYS #7 | OYS #8 Late 40s | 173cm/5'8" | 75Kg/165lb | Wife: 40s (SAHM) | Together: 14 | Married: 10 | Kids: 4 (2 < 15, 2 step > 20) Lifting (all x5 | Kg/lb): BP (5): 50/110, SQ (5): 67.5/148, OHP (5): 37.5/82 , DL (1): 85/187, ROW (5): 47.5/104 Weekly exercise: JuJitsu x1, Yoga x1, Lifting x3 (StrongLifts) Dread: Still working on missing parts of 1-3 Read: Pookx3, Poon, WISNIFG, NMMNGx2, TRM, MAP, MMSLP, TICOAM, Sidebar, SALSM, This Nak…
/r/MarriedRedPill17/12/19 10:09 AM
1

Damn positive, despite the hardships. Respect.
/r/MarriedRedPill11/12/19 12:15 PM
2

Celebrate your wins by: - shamelessly bragging and boasting (or at least telling people somehow through the company magazine, weekly team update email, Slack channel, whatever you have there) - give less fucks and let people know you are a winner - celebrating with your team (if you have one) - go for a meal or a drink or whatever - celebrating with shit food - bring in some treats, tell people what you did when they come over to get some and/or ask why you brought them in
/r/MarriedRedPill11/12/19 12:06 PM
2

How's your diet? Could that be affecting your gym performance? You mentioned drinking in your last OYS - how'd you do with that? This will also have an impact.
/r/MarriedRedPill11/12/19 11:56 AM
1

OYS #8 OYS #1 | OYS #2 | OYS #3 | OYS #4 | OYS #5 | OYS #6 | OYS #7 Late 40s | 173cm/5'8" | 73Kg/160lb | Wife: 40s (SAHM) | Together: 14 | Married: 10 | Kids: 4 (2 < 15, 2 step > 20) Lifting (all x5 | Kg/lb): BP (5): 50/110, SQ (5): 62.5/137, OHP (5): 35/77 , DL (1): 75/165, ROW (5): 45/99 Weekly exercise: JuJitsu x1, Yoga x1, Lifting x3 Dread: Still working on missing parts of 1-3 Read: Pookx3, Poon, WISNIFG, NMMNGx2, TRM, MAP, MMSLP, TICOAM, Sidebar, SALSM, This Naked Mind and some of How to W…
/r/MarriedRedPill10/12/19 06:18 PM
2

Sounds like AA is doing what it needs to but if you want extra credit, I would highly recommend This Naked Mind. The book recommends reading just two chapters a day so it's easy going. It's highly informative and it'll help you see things from some interesting perspectives. Glad you posted this, some of the responses have been golden and very useful to me too. Hope it goes well and look forward to your OYS. Edit: grammar
/r/askMRP06/12/19 01:48 PM
1

I'm not close to giving up, but I'm loathe to do something for no gain. I used to do CrossFit and be so sore that I was still sore when I did the next class 7 days later and after 7 months of punishing grind, I was nowhere and had nothing. If I need to skip a workout in a week to allow for full recovery I will, as much as I want to stay on track and progress. I won't address all your points but areas that need work are: sleep, clean eating, protein intake, form no doubt needs work - the website …
/r/MarriedRedPill03/12/19 04:42 PM
1

I do the warmup sets now (didn't to start with) - thanks though, could easily have missed that. I'm happy to be 'sorry every day' but not if it prevents progress and/or there's no end to it. I did that for 7 months with CrossFit for no fucking gain, no point being disciplined doing the wrong thing or doing something hard for nothing. Edit: giving thanks
/r/MarriedRedPill03/12/19 03:56 PM
1

Thanks for the input. Luckily I don't need a product like that. Sure, I'd like one, but not at those prices, right now anyway. Edit: grammar.
/r/MarriedRedPill03/12/19 02:32 PM
1

Thanks, love the imagery and connection. So just rest and forgo (possibly) the 3 times a week schedule if necessary? Makes sense to me and I'm sure my body will catch up soon enough.
/r/MarriedRedPill03/12/19 09:57 AM
3

OYS #7 OYS #1 | OYS #2 | OYS #3 | OYS #4 | OYS #5 | OYS #6 Late 40s | 173cm/5'8" | 72.5Kg/160lb | Wife: 40s (SAHM) | Together: 14 | Married: 10 | Kids: 4 (2 < 15, 2 step > 20) Lifts (all x5, kg/lb): BP (5): 47.5/104, SQ (5): 57.5/126, OHP (5): 35/77 , DL (1): 70/154, ROW (5): 42.5/93 Weekly exercise: JuJitsu x1, Yoga x1, Lifting x3 Dread: Still working on missing parts of 1-3 Read: Pookx3, Poon, WISNIFG, NMMNGx2, TRM, MAP, MMSLP, TICOAM, Sidebar, SALSM, This Naked Mind and some of How to Win Fri…
/r/MarriedRedPill03/12/19 08:50 AM
1

This took two minutes. Still putting in fuck all effort with your brief and random OYS posts and no doubt everything else in your life. What's the point? What are you trying to achieve? Why are you here posting this pointless shit? What starts here? Hot air.
/r/MarriedRedPill03/12/19 06:15 AM
1

I'm not sure how you came to that conclusion, I've been thinking I'm past that and I don't see anything that I think even hints at that in my OYS. Buuuuut, I think you may be right. Too much to fucking think about these days but I've found these (linked for the benefit of others) and will reread, review and reflect: - https://www.reddit.com/r/marriedredpill/comments/2xi8sc/moving_past_the_mrp_anger_phase/ - https://www.reddit.com/r/marriedredpill/comments/4br3sm/a_process_for_letting_go_of_anger…
/r/MarriedRedPill27/11/19 11:26 AM
1

There's a multitude of reasons, none of which alone will stop me failing. Even together they won't but it's quite an incentive, here's a few; - Fuck my weekend was boring and so am I (and this is after some improvement). Never noticed through the hangovers before. My poor bastard kids. - I can talk with depth and confidence like a pro at work and make quite an impression. I haven't done this for 5 years (and I'm lucky I haven't paid a heavy price for that). - I'm not sure if u/so_woke_da_wookie'…
/r/MarriedRedPill26/11/19 05:08 PM
1

Yeah, I've absolutely had some false starts and lied to myself, thinking I've made progress. This time is very different, but it could end the same without some serious vigilance. Thanks man
/r/MarriedRedPill26/11/19 04:01 PM
1

Bless your brother!
/r/MarriedRedPill26/11/19 09:52 AM
1

Yeah, lo and behold, had a 'last blast' before a total stop on the booze, had a lot of wine, had my first cigarette in 4 odd years. Both at a full stop for a week now so shouldn't happen again, but I'll be vigilant moving forward, it's not a trap I would have thought about. Thanks.
/r/MarriedRedPill26/11/19 09:04 AM
3

OYS #6 - Less is More OYS #1 | OYS #2 | OYS #3 | OYS #4 | OYS #5 Late 40s | 173cm/5'8" | 72.5Kg/160lb | Wife: 40s (SAHM) | Together: 14 | Married: 10 | Kids: 4 (2 < 15, 2 step > 20) Dread: Still working on missing parts of 1-3 Weekly exercise: JuJitsu x1, Yoga x1, lifting x3 Lifting: BP (5x5): 45Kg/99lb, SQ (5x5): 50Kg/110lb, OHP (5x5): 32.5Kg/71lb , DL (1x5): 60Kg/132lb, ROW (5x5): 40Kg/88lb Read: Pook x3, Poon, WISNIFG, NMMNG x2, RM, MAP, MMSLP, TICOAM, The Sidebar, This Naked Mind and some of…
/r/MarriedRedPill26/11/19 08:58 AM
1

OK, interesting. It's already on my planned reading list, which is rather long, so I'll push it up in priority. I actually think I can across that article, definitely time for a re-read. Thanks again for the input and assistance.
/r/MarriedRedPill20/11/19 04:55 PM
1

What are you waiting for? You'll never be 'ready'. What do you actually want to do? I'm great at hiding from the truth so I don't have to take action, you seem to be too.
/r/MarriedRedPill20/11/19 11:29 AM
1

I know, I know. Thank you for chipping in. This Naked Mind is good and does a great job. I just need to keep facing the truth, not turning away.
/r/MarriedRedPill20/11/19 11:16 AM
1

Interesting, you think this has some relevance to drug use, or at least stopping use?
/r/MarriedRedPill20/11/19 11:13 AM
1

Thanks. I'm just finishing up This Naked Mind by Annie Grace and it's been very effective in changing my mind and exposing the truth about alcohol. If I find myself struggling I will check this out.
/r/MarriedRedPill20/11/19 11:10 AM
1

What are your lifting stats? Where are you with dread? Done anything about your non-existent social life? There are no unicorns: AWALT! Having sex yet? Still nofap? I'm a noob but it feels like you are jumping ahead and missing the fundamentals. In particular, your OYS doesn't seem to reflect anything in your mission in any way. Why is that? Not sure what you're doing regarding 'having a zest for life' if your wife won't fuck, you have injuries, your career is stalled (and on hold) and your fina…
/r/MarriedRedPill19/11/19 03:45 PM
1

Sooo, you initiating? Staying or going? Getting what you want out of the relationship? Getting laid at least? Based on your recent OYS history, this is telling me nothing. Reads like you are in a holding pattern and wasting precious time. Am I wrong?
/r/MarriedRedPill19/11/19 03:29 PM
1

Every fucking week! Yeah, it's becoming clearer each time. Time to do this. Thanks as ever officer, appreciate it.
/r/MarriedRedPill19/11/19 03:14 PM
2

The bullshit police are out in force this week. Must be an obvious blind spot that I'm refusing to see. Thanks, I'll drop it.
/r/MarriedRedPill19/11/19 03:12 PM
1

Hey, thanks for the comment and advice. I was far, far worse than you and it was a red on my MAP for many months too and definitely a massive limiting factor where energy, attention, motivation, happiness and confidence were concerned. I understand what you're saying regarding control but I don't think it applies here and perhaps I've chosen my words poorly. When I say it was 'controlled' what I mean is it was a choice on my part to drink; a want, not a need. It wasn't to escape, to relieve some…
/r/MarriedRedPill19/11/19 01:24 PM
3

I see your point. I've smoked and then vaped for a total of 30+ years so that fact I could 'just' stop without any aide or tool beyond the mental fortitude that posting here brings is a miracle in my eyes. That doesn't mean some low or other, or some high or other won't put temptation and desire before me. Thank you.
/r/MarriedRedPill19/11/19 12:54 PM
3

OYS #5 - Nicotine Free Edition OYS #1 | OYS #2 | OYS #3 | OYS #4 Late 40s | 158cm/5'8" | 72.5Kg/160lb | Wife: 40s (SAHM) | Together: 14 | Married: 10 | Kids: 4 (2 < 15, 2 step > 20) Lifting: BP (5x5): 40Kg/88lb, SQ (5x5): 42.5Kg/93lb, OHP (5x5): 30Kg/66lb , DL (1x5): 55Kg/121lb, ROW (5x5): 35Kg/77lb Read: Pookx3, Poon, WISNIFG, NMMNGx2, RM, MAP, MMSLP, TICOAM and some of How to Win Friends and Influence People Reading: This Naked Mind and Bigger, Leaner, Stronger Queued: Finishing The Six Pillar…
/r/MarriedRedPill19/11/19 10:25 AM
1

Thanks man. Day two without the ecig, it's been one fucked up ride so far.
/r/MarriedRedPill14/11/19 12:13 PM
1

Understood, thanks. I've a lot of work to do on form for sure and I need to not forget that. Cheers
/r/MarriedRedPill14/11/19 12:08 PM
2

I'd recommend the book This Naked Mind, it's helped me a great deal in a short time. I should probably check out what johney recommended too. What's interesting is I had this in my MAP under 'stop drinking' for months and completely ignored it until recently. I wonder if it applies to you: "Examine and eliminate the issues that cause the need for an escape or avoiding the work required to satisfy a true, natural pleasure/desire that takes effort to fulfil and/or a reward for tolerating something…
/r/MarriedRedPill12/11/19 08:28 PM
1

Glad it wasn't just me pointing it out. I seethed for six months over things mostly long past that were nothing like what you've faced and then went all out Rambo. It was a search for more practical information (rather than another drink of bitterness) in the aftermath of that which lead me here. My anger evaporated in a matter of days afterwards (but we'll see if it returns I guess). The 'it's your fault' message seems to have done the trick, along with reading NMMNG and no-doubt, seeing the su…
/r/MarriedRedPill12/11/19 08:19 PM
1

Don’t fear Chad, become Chad I see the appeal of this and it's a useful condensation of MRP in many ways but in your case it's all about/for/because of her and not really about you. I think you're still very, very angry. Nice first OYS in my newbie opinion.
/r/MarriedRedPill12/11/19 04:17 PM
1

I mean I will have to fight my own desire to drink as well as my wife's likely demand I join her and spend 'quality time' with her. The former will be harder than the latter I expect but I'm confident I can resist both. Thanks as ever.
/r/MarriedRedPill12/11/19 11:51 AM
1

OYS 4 OYS #1 | OYS #2 | OYS #3 Late 40s | 158cm/5'8" | 72Kg/159lb | Wife: 40s (SAHM) | Together: 14 | Married: 10 | Kids: 4 (2 < 15, 2 step > 20) Dread: Still working on missing parts of 1-3 Weekly exercise: JuJitsu x1, Yoga x1, gym x3 Lifting: BP (5x5): 37.5Kg/82lb, SQ (5x5): 35Kg/77lb, OHP (5x5): 25Kg/55lb , DL (1x5): 40Kg/88lb, ROW (5x5): 32.5Kg/71lb Read: Pookx3, Poon, WISNIFG, NMMNGx2, RM, MAP, MMSLP, some of How to Win Friends and Influence People Reading: This Naked Mind and Bigger, Leane…
/r/MarriedRedPill12/11/19 09:34 AM
1

I do Japanese, not Brazilian so there's far less sparing/grappling (which is actually becoming an issues for me), so this may be less useful/relevant to you but anyway... I've not been visibly injured once in two years. Guys using too much power when practicing throws can result in some later back pain. I've seen the odd broken toe or finger, nothing worse. Almost everyone is very careful and generally the club and those who run it go out of there way to minimise risk. Everyone has a job and wan…
/r/MarriedRedPill07/11/19 07:18 AM
1

I'll see where I am after I've finished Bigger Leaner Stronger. Thanks for the input.
/r/MarriedRedPill06/11/19 07:58 PM
1

Thanks, I'll be putting myself to the test tomorrow.
/r/MarriedRedPill06/11/19 07:55 PM
1

Thanks. I know no one is looked but it's not helped. In any case, time to get over it. Cheers
/r/MarriedRedPill05/11/19 03:23 PM
1

Thanks, I'll check it out. Things are OK for now but if there's more I can do I will.
/r/MarriedRedPill05/11/19 02:36 PM
1

Thanks, I appreciate the background, it's encouraging. I do yoga once a week for flexibility and it does a good job along with the physio exercises. I find it quite physically demanding, which probably tells you all you need to know about my progress in the gym. I'd say I've been doing LCHF for 2 years too but I've been half-assing that. I've seen Wim Hof mentioned all over so will look into it more deeply.
/r/MarriedRedPill05/11/19 02:31 PM
2

Understood, thank you.
/r/MarriedRedPill05/11/19 02:24 PM
1

Thanks man, I really do appreciate the knowledge and support. Got the book and will make it a priority. I had it on a long list but didn't realise it deals with diet and the rest too, that's going to be really f'ing helpful.
/r/MarriedRedPill05/11/19 01:59 PM
1

It never feels that way (I had no goals, now I do, I didn't go to the gym, now I do etc.) but yeah, he's bang on.
/r/MarriedRedPill05/11/19 01:54 PM
1

Facet joint syndrome according to a very good sports physio, so no disc issues. It took me 12+m to get it to a manageable point where wasn't in constant pain (lower back and legs) - yes, because I was half-assing dealing with that too (I waited a year before I paid for the physio). It's Japanese JuJitsu rather than BJJ so fairly low intensity although throws can be a problem. The barbell row put me right off but the truth is I think it will be OK with decent form. Ideally I'd get a PT to help me…
/r/MarriedRedPill05/11/19 12:12 PM
1

Man you piss me off and it's obvious why that is. Thanks for the reality check once again, I've way more to do (again) than I thought.
/r/MarriedRedPill05/11/19 11:38 AM
1

Social This is the highlight of my week. I've said hi to people on the street and in lifts, chatted to the hot girl in the office downstairs, engaged with my colleagues at every opportunity, broken awkward silences and cracked jokes. I've asked questions when I'd normally do anything not to so as to appear independent, aloof or be the 'know it all'. I'm self-conscious and sometimes awkward but I've pushed through and it's done wonders and given me a real boost. With the family I've really paid a…
/r/MarriedRedPill05/11/19 10:25 AM
1

OYS 3 OYS #1 | OYS #2 Late 40s | 158cm/5'8" | 72Kg/159lb | Wife: 40s (SAHM) | Together: 14 | Married: 10 | Kids: 4 (2 < 15, 2 step > 20) Dread: Still working on missing parts of 1-3 Weekly exercise: JuJitsu x2, Yoga x1, gym x3 (PPL, mostly with machines) - BP: 35Kg Read: Pookx3, Poon, WISNIFG, NMMNGx2, RM, MAP, MMSLP, some of How to Win Friends and Influence People Reading: Naked Mind and The Six Pillars of Self Esteem Mission Early days for this but the main bullet points so far: - Retire at 57…
/r/MarriedRedPill05/11/19 10:24 AM
1

Got it. Thanks again for your input and time, it's appreciated.
/r/MarriedRedPill01/11/19 08:41 AM
1

OK, I understand your point, thanks. That's happening too, not perfect but happening. I feel I've focused too much on that and not the internal work but yeah, it's a balance and I'll take account of that.
/r/MarriedRedPill31/10/19 01:50 PM
1

Thanks for the great response and advice. Fair points and I've come to the understanding many times (I seem to not hang onto it and backslide) you are absolutely right about that last one. I'm there again and I'm determined to do something about it, not just think about it.
/r/MarriedRedPill31/10/19 01:19 PM
1

So what would look like action/progress to you?
/r/MarriedRedPill31/10/19 01:14 PM
1

Thanks for responding. I'm honored. Yeah, I still don't have a clear view on what I need to do, what I want etc. and I'm stabbing in the dark to some extent but I think the base of working on lifting, unfucking my self-esteem and stopping drink are a good place to work from. Things I've done: - I'm about halfway through The Naked Mind and finding it useful. I've cut back on my drinking considerably (but not completely, yet) - I'm through part 1 of The Six Pillars and will be starting the exercis…
/r/MarriedRedPill31/10/19 12:20 PM
1

Appreciate the response, thanks. Yes, I think you're right in both regards (I need one, she's wondering wtf I'm doing). I have done some work here (well, a bunch of random notes) and I'll make this a higher priority as I think it'll be useful to have something to work towards and help clarify planning and the why. This got me thinking my MAP is lacking direction and purpose. Keeping other people's need out of it will be hard work I think, thinking about myself in isolation doesn't come naturally…
/r/MarriedRedPill31/10/19 12:18 PM
3

OYS 2 OYS #1 Late 40s | 158cm/5'8" | 72Kg/159lb | Wife: 40s (SAHM) | Together: 14 | Married: 10 | Kids: 4 (2 < 15, 2 step > 20) MB: INFJ, Enneagram: Type 4 (The Individualist) - Dread: Still working on missing parts of 1-3 Weekly exercise: JuJitsu x1, Yoga x1, gym x3 (PPL, mostly with machines) - BP: 35Kg Read: Pookx3, Poon, WISNIFG, NMMNGx2, RM, MAP, MMSLP, some of How to Win Friends and Influence People Reading: Naked Mind and The Six Pillars of Self Esteem Queued: WISFIFG and NMMNG rereads My…
/r/MarriedRedPill29/10/19 12:23 PM
2

Interesting to hear the therapy is going well. I'm weighing it up myself - per my first post in here. Beware reading but not taking action (clearly you have with the therapy anyway). I've definitely been using 'self improvement' as a means to avoid actually facing lots of long held issues. I'm a more organised, determined, stable and attractive trash fire, but still a trash fire. I'll probably revert rapidly too, unless I really fix the root cause.
/r/MarriedRedPill23/10/19 08:34 PM
1

I'd second this, I worked from home for 7 months and it just didn't 'work'. If nothing else I'd get up as early as you can manage (before everyone else) and get some time and space to yourself every weekday - and try not wasting it.
/r/MarriedRedPill23/10/19 07:36 PM
2

A fair amount of this resonates with me although I seem to be able to hide it/respress it better. My cycle tends to be 18 to 24m. I'm fairly new here so don't speak with any authority but I can say stick with NMMNG. Read it a second time and take notes. I've just started reading The Six Pillars of Self Esteem (after seeing it mentioned most weeks in OYS by someone or other) and it's really, really hitting home and helping me see things from a very different, helpful and positive lens. As your th…
/r/MarriedRedPill23/10/19 07:19 PM
1

Thank you
/r/MarriedRedPill23/10/19 06:48 PM
1

OYS 1 Late 40s | 158cm/5'8" | 72Kg/159lb | 29% BF! | Wife: 40s (SAHM) | Together: 14 | Married: 10 | Kids: 4 (2 < 15, 2 step > 20) MB: INFJ, Enneagram: Type 4 (The Individualist) Weekly exercise: JuJitsu x1, Yoga x1, gym x3 (PPL, mostly with machines) Read: WISNIFG, NMMNGx2, RM, MAP, MMSLP Reading: How to Win Friends and Influence People I see this a lot here, someone writes an OYS and realises it's full of the wrong kind of shit. My turn for that today. I'll skip the paragraphs of excuses, bori…
/r/MarriedRedPill22/10/19 04:22 PM
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