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RottingAway90 Archive

View 7 posts and 542 comments by RottingAway90 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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5

I’ll add that I wasn’t even attracted to or dating most of these men, they were just acquaintances I met at parties, work etc. One was a family friend from childhood who told me he saw me as a “sister” before he proceeded to rape me. I attract these kinds of men far less now I’m older, they tend to prey on very young and inebriated women.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/03/21 07:23 AM
6

I’ve had 6 partners and 4 of them aggressively pressured me, one straight up raped me while I was unconscious. I don’t think men realise how common these scenarios actually are.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/03/21 02:46 AM
7

Literally no one thinks that more sex= more empowerment, all feminism has done is promote personal choice and tried to erode some of the stigma attached to sexuality so that women aren’t judged and mistreated. Sex= empowerment is a masculine mindset and you’re projecting.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/12/20 07:48 PM
13

I’m a woman but kinda wanna try this
/r/seduction09/11/20 03:08 AM
1

It doesn’t but her statement is still invalid. Jeopardizing your personal relationships because of the decisions of a few rich old men is pretty dumb.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/10/20 10:36 AM
2

Alyssa Milano is an idiot though, and I say this as a leftie. This is the woman who tweeted “I am the disabled”.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/10/20 10:06 AM
2

I’d be annoyed tbph
/r/PurplePillDebate10/10/20 03:36 PM
2

I do think it’s possible to find someone more attractive as you get to know them. A lot of men whom I initially thought were average-looking I fell really hard for after discovering how interesting and intelligent they were. Mind you, I’m talking over a period of months. I think once you turn that corner and fall in love though, it tends to peak for the first two years and then dies down somewhat (unless it’s unrequited, then it’s pretty consistent until you meet someone else).
/r/PurplePillDebate09/10/20 12:35 AM
2

I don’t think anyone falls more in love over time
/r/PurplePillDebate09/10/20 12:09 AM
2

Ever heard of the “honeymoon period”? Most relationships start off with a ton of sexual chemistry, that eventually fizzles out due to over-familiarity or built up resentment from years of arguments (or as said partner becomes fatter/less attractive, as tends to happen with age). It happens on both sides, hence men cheating. I highly doubt anyone enters an LTR with someone they’re not initially attracted to.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/10/20 08:53 PM
4

They’ve successfully managed to create an illusion where younger women are all thirsting after them, therein lies the issue. Older women are at least generally aware that younger men won’t find them appealing and tend to act accordingly, yet wanting a quality relationship with someone in their age group makes them “entitled”. The projection is astounding.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/10/20 08:34 PM
2

Most posts here basically boil down to “women would be happier if they had sex with me, even though I hate women just as much as Chad does”.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/10/20 08:26 PM
5

Yup. And they call us the parasitic ones lol.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/10/20 03:06 AM
2

Because relying on broad generalizations (usually from a US-centric pov) to form simplistic conclusions about human nature is bad science. Study anthropology and see how varied and random the spectrum of human behaviour is, and how flimsy the idea of “universal truths” are. Ultimately it’s more rational to abandon pre-conceived narratives and be hesitant when applying theory. Furthermore why does something as personal as dating need to be systemized? Why is the idea that individuals may simply d…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/10/20 09:35 AM
3

Autism isn’t considered a disability unless medical and mental health professionals can prove it actively impairs your ability to work or perform other tasks. You don’t get free money just for being autistic.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/10/20 10:46 PM
3

Yes. I think most people who are Very Online tend to be on the spectrum. Sometimes they’re red-pilled, sometimes they’re blue-pilled. But generally speaking, neurotypical people don’t spend hours on the internet creating systems to try and understand human interaction.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/10/20 10:44 PM
0

I think open marriages could potentially work, it’s natural to be attracted to other people whilst in a relationship and I see couples who seem pretty happy with that arrangement. I guess the risk lies in developing feelings for the people you’re sleeping with on the side.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/09/20 01:19 PM
0

Look up the Suffragettes you uneducated fool
/r/PurplePillDebate28/09/20 02:52 AM
1

Exactly
/r/PurplePillDebate27/09/20 08:45 AM
1

Thankyou
/r/PurplePillDebate27/09/20 08:35 AM
1

“Men have to deal with aging, too. Some men use botox and propecia, others cope with red pill lies.” I get that, and I do agree the “men age like fine wine” mantra is a bit of a cope. Most people would agree that younger men are objectively better looking. But men are lucky in that their looks/youth isn’t their only value. A man can raise his SMV through social status, wealth, education and an engaging personality. These are pursuits which have no time limit, unlike looks and youth. Another adva…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/09/20 03:08 AM
2

Women had to fight for equal rights, they weren’t “given”. And still have none in many countries.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/09/20 12:07 AM
1

This seems fair to me. It seems to work that way in non-romantic situations (platonic outings, business dinners, weddings, birthdays).
/r/PurplePillDebate25/09/20 08:11 PM
2

I’m saying you can’t dispute the notion that men are shallow if you subscribe to biological determinism
/r/PurplePillDebate25/09/20 05:40 PM
1

I dunno dude, vetting is important but you still gotta try and do it within a pragmatic and moral framework. :P
/r/PurplePillDebate25/09/20 05:38 PM
3

Problem is I don’t think most people are willing to wait a whole year to date someone. Plus hiring a private investigator is kinda bordering on stalker territory.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/09/20 05:27 PM
2

Same here. I’m planning to rope soon.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/09/20 04:13 PM
2

Getting to know someone over a period of months. Talking to them, assessing what their values are. Asking other people about them. Looking at their social media. Etc.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/09/20 03:51 PM
2

Some people, yeah. I wasn’t one of those people though. I was a late bloomer in dating/sex after observing my mum’s disastrous love life and never pursued “bad boys” or anyone with a reputation even if they seemed nice/attractive/interested. I vet very carefully and my plan was to find someone high value (good morals etc) to settle down with in my 20s. Made no difference in the end.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/09/20 03:45 PM
1

I’m 30 so it’s a bit late for me now. But I can say my partner who I spent most of my 20s with was extremely faithful and loving during the first few years, to the point where we were the couple that everyone envied. When we first met he was heartbroken over an ex so I had the impression he was a sensitive, romantic type. Sometimes there’s just no way of knowing and I wish men here would understand that.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/09/20 03:28 PM
3

Red pill ideology= people are generally ruled by biological instincts (men seek fertility, women seek security)
/r/PurplePillDebate25/09/20 03:11 PM
5

I’m not talking about historical crimes, I’m saying that morals generally have no place in biological determinism. Your ideology is inconsistent. You say women’s greatest value to men is beauty and youth yet also don’t want to be seen as “shallow”. Can’t have it both ways.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/09/20 03:04 PM
5

“Men are not women. Men don't need to follow briffault law. A woman that gives me those 10 years is a woman that keeps me until either of us dies even if she does not have any more youth to give. Past benefit guarantees future asociation.” Not true at all. Plenty of men will reap the benefits of a woman’s prime then dump her once she’s past it. “Most women are attractive enough to be valued.” Not true. I’d say maybe 20% of women fit conventional beauty standards. The rest may be considered good …
/r/PurplePillDebate25/09/20 02:49 PM
–

I’ve honestly given serious thought to transitioning too. Dating as a gay trans man would shrink my dating pool even more though.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/09/20 02:17 PM
–

Being valued for “what you are” is a dead end. If you’re only valuable between the ages of 18 and 28 then that’s 10 years you get of being valuable. Which is nothing when you consider the average woman lives for 80 years. Especially if you’re unlucky enough to be unattractive in your youth as well, which means you’ll never know what it’s like to be valued. “Men with good morals” tend to be taken so their existence has no bearing on my reality. I will say though, I have many male friends who I co…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/09/20 02:14 PM
–

Most men have no morals so your argument is invalid. I thought you TRP folk were all about biological determinism. Also the things which increase a man’s SMV are mutable characteristics. That’s absolutely an advantage.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/09/20 01:35 PM
–

It is in my experience. I’d trade in my current life to go back to my imperfect relationship, any day.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/09/20 01:31 PM
–

Even the most dysfunctional relationship is preferable to being alone. That’s the terrible conundrum.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/09/20 01:06 PM
–

Unfortunately that’s like 90% of straight relationships tho
/r/PurplePillDebate25/09/20 12:26 PM
–

You only have “value” for a short time, over something you have little to no control over (looks and youth), and then have to compete with women half your age. The opposite sex is essentially out to use you and waste your time and you can never take an expression of interest at face value since so many men use women for sex/validation. And once you do get into a relationship, there’s still the constant feeling of dread that your value is declining every day and your partner could drop you at any…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/09/20 11:53 AM
1

Fuckin oath
/r/PurplePillDebate25/09/20 09:23 AM
1

Jesus Christ
/r/PurplePillDebate25/09/20 09:20 AM
16

Big mood
/r/PurplePillDebate25/09/20 08:33 AM
–

You don’t want that, trust me
/r/PurplePillDebate25/09/20 08:32 AM
2

I don’t hate men, in fact I cherish my platonic relationships with men. But I do resent the fact I’m heterosexual sometimes. If I could choose to be asexual/aromantic I would. I’d say lesbian, but that’d probably come with its own bullshit too. Just to not have sexual or romantic desire at all would be a dream. In fact, could you even imagine how much society as whole would progress if we directed the energy we invest in dating/relationships/sex toward something useful? Probably would have world…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/09/20 08:30 AM
2

Tried that and it don’t work. Found what I thought was a high quality man at 23, did everything I could to maintain the relationship, and got dumped just a few months shy of my 30th birthday. Time to rope lol.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/09/20 05:46 AM
3

I have a few bi male friends who all confirmed it’s way easier to get action from other men than from women. Likely has to do with the role of testosterone in creating visual attraction and seeking sexual variety. Gay men tend to look at other men the same way straight men look at women it seems.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/09/20 12:34 AM
2

The AF/BB narrative is really overblown. Most women ime have one or two relationships in their 20s with their looksmatch and end up marrying or moving in together by late 20s. Maybe have a brief “partying” phase in college (just as men the same age do) and stop once the novelty wears off, usually by 22. Also statistically speaking alphas are still gonna be the ones with money/resources as tall and good-looking men are more likely to be hired and promoted. Women don’t even require resources nowad…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/09/20 08:46 AM
1

I’m 30, have been Very Online since I was 14 and trust me - the Internet has always been this way.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/09/20 07:06 AM
2

It’s the stereotypical advice we get from literally every “dating coach” as well as female friend/relative. There’s this prevalent idea that if you give him sex too early you’ll lose value in his eyes, come off as “thirsty” etc and that it’s necessary to put men through “tests” in order to avoid being used. Not being a man and not having much experience, I’m not sure how true that is. I was sexual early on with my ex (when we were still friends and hadn’t gotten together yet) and it seemed to wo…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/09/20 04:16 AM
1

Lmao I don’t have children so this isn’t even applicable to me, I’m just capable of feeling empathy for other people and don’t have this insane draconian mindset that mistakes people make in their teens/20s should define the rest of their existence. Single dads exist as well fyi.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/09/20 02:21 AM
1

Also your “sympathy” for the children of single mothers is extremely disingenuous when you believe they don’t deserve to have a stable father figure
/r/PurplePillDebate18/09/20 02:13 AM
1

A 15 yo is a child, and she’s being blamed for being taken advantage of by a predator. So yeah.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/09/20 02:10 AM
1

Male issues apparently= not getting laid enough by the women you want Yeah... can’t say I’m crying a river Also the fact there’s no empathy for a literal child who was taken advantage of by a predator shows you people are too disconnected from reality to continue engaging with in good faith.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/09/20 01:26 AM
2

Well I guess trying to explain the concept of empathy to a TRP sperg was a futile task, good day
/r/PurplePillDebate17/09/20 02:32 PM
2

She was 15 dude.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/09/20 12:32 PM
4

I know a woman my age with five kids because she was in an abusive relationship with a much older man from ages 15 to 26. Life is messy and things happen. Single mums (and their kids) deserve happiness as much as anyone else, and if some men are willing to give it to them then great.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/09/20 12:25 PM
1

If they’re happy, how is it any of your business?
/r/PurplePillDebate17/09/20 12:12 PM
5

Some men really like kids and don’t mind that they aren’t their own. Same reason people adopt and foster kids.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/09/20 12:05 PM
5

I know plenty that have and do. My ex left me for a single mum.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/09/20 12:03 PM
1

Well then they’ll likely want a stable father figure cause she has their development to consider. My mum dated lots of fuck boys when I was a kid and that’s the reason I’m a terrible human today.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/09/20 12:00 PM
10

They likely have higher standards because they have experience and know how to better spot red flags. Also by that point they’re looking for someone with father/husband qualities to settle down with, not someone to just “have fun” with.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/09/20 07:55 AM
1

Indeed, most people’s “promiscuous” phase ends by 22 when they graduate college and by 25 most people are in serious relationships, yet the men here talk about the CC obsessively and it’s weird. Young men are slutty as well, it’s just the rite of passage of youth. Let the kids have their fun and stop being bitter.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/09/20 07:52 AM
1

I’m not talking about the men who acted friendly initially and then ghosted, I’m talking about men that have been consistently interested for months and sometimes years. I know this because they’ve either straight-up told me, or based on their behaviour: constant messaging, jumping at the opportunity to do favours for me, constant compliments and ass-kissing (regarding looks/attractiveness), always wanting to see me one-on-one (one guy I know is always inviting me to his house late at night to “…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/09/20 07:40 AM
1

I don’t see any disgust tbh, their reaction is mostly neutral. Occasionally confusion/amusement regarding my taste in men. I‘m mentally quite monogamous, I’ll get maybe one major crush a year.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/09/20 07:13 AM
2

It’s funny cause with many of men who have liked me, I have openly gushed about other men. Even made jokes about stalking men. How does that work lol That is interesting though. Makes sense.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/09/20 04:50 AM
3

Thankyou lol Women are like animals in heat if they actually like the man. One only need to lurk tumblr fandoms to realize this.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/09/20 11:40 AM
1

People over 25 don’t see bands ime
/r/PurplePillDebate16/09/20 11:37 AM
1

You do realise I fully acknowledge the fact I’m a basement dweller right? XD (well technically not since my parents kicked me out, but I am objectively a loser and have never tried to deny it)
/r/PurplePillDebate16/09/20 11:31 AM
4

Nah my ex’s schlong was constantly in my mouth even after years of living together lol. But bjs are one of those things you either like or don’t (same with cunnilingus - some do it because they enjoy it, others do it just to make their partners happy, some don’t do it at all). So you can’t really generalize.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/09/20 11:24 AM
1

Perhaps not, but I’ve been surprised at how different most people now are to when they were younger.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/09/20 04:44 AM
1

As a 30 yo, I can say with confidence that no-one my age is on social media anymore except the basement dweller types. It’s pretty typical at your age when most people don’t have families/full-time jobs yet.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/09/20 02:52 AM
1

Indeed. And anyone over 25 who still frequents social media has probably failed life in some respect.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/09/20 01:44 AM
1

Anxiety. I was too self-conscious to have sex while sober.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/09/20 03:25 PM
1

The types of men that have been interested in me have varied. But I guess the thing they’ve had in common is a lack of confidence? The men I’ve liked have said (and their friends have said) that they lack confidence yet they don’t openly come across that way. Also the guys that have liked me have been more agreeable. Often less intelligent too, and on the younger side.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/09/20 03:10 PM
6

Because dom men/sub women are the norm and so have less need to seek out kink communities.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/09/20 01:15 PM
2

Lots of things in life are an impediment to my happiness but orgasms aren’t one of them. They’re the only relief I get from this painful existence.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/09/20 12:11 PM
3

Nah I’m good. Casual sex frankly comes with more risks than rewards and I’m way more likely to actually orgasm through masturbating.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/09/20 12:05 PM
3

Sure, anything is bad in excess but that doesn’t mean masturbating is inherently harmful. It can relieve stress, boost your mood, help you sleep better, and in women help relieve cramps. Often masturbating will be the only good part of my day. Also as a married person presumably enjoying regular intimacy, you don’t have a place telling single people not to enjoy the only thing available to them.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/09/20 11:59 AM
4

Depression and anxiety are mood disorders, so it’s a given that activities which positively affect mood will make a tangible difference. Personalities disorders are much more complex. Also what’s wrong with masturbating? Most medical professionals would say it’s perfectly healthy, even beneficial. Also mental illness predates social media.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/09/20 11:44 AM
3

I think it depends. One time I was in and out consciousness and could barely talk or move (my genitals were actually bruised the next day from forced penetration) and that I would consider assault. If both parties are drunk as each other, it’s more of a grey area. I was drunk in pretty much all my early sexual encounters.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/09/20 11:41 AM
23

I think it’s more than people who are single spend a lot of time on social media lol
/r/PurplePillDebate15/09/20 10:52 AM
5

Obvious you know nothing about mental health lol
/r/PurplePillDebate15/09/20 10:51 AM
22

A) Nothing, I’m an open book. B) I haven’t really done anything out of the ordinary. I had a brief casual sex phase in my early 20s (4-5 people) and it was all very vanilla stuff. No threesomes or gay action. No abortions. C) I’m not sure what people “suspect” of me but likely nothing. I enjoy porn which might surprise people who see it as a male thing. D) I have sexual encounters I regret (because I wasn’t attracted to the person, didn’t feel safe/respected, the sex was bad, I was drunk etc) bu…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/09/20 04:50 PM
2

You have a very naive take on things. Women collectively may have more power and freedom but that does not mean the average individual woman does. Many women are underpaid, have useless degrees and are stuck working shitty dead-end jobs, just as a lot of men are in this broken economy. Hook up culture is only appealing if you’re naturally promiscuous with non-existent standards and an avoidant attachment style, which most women aren’t. Also you vastly overestimate the ability of women to sleep w…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/09/20 08:44 AM
1

Just cause less people are getting married, doesn’t mean the majority of people aren’t in marriage-like de-facto relationships.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/09/20 01:59 AM
2

Can we conclude that looksmatch and SMV are fixed, deterministic things then? And that changes to looks/behaviour is a wasted effort?
/r/PurplePillDebate13/09/20 12:29 AM
2

Yeah this is what I always say to explain why I don’t ask out men, the fact they’ll likely pick up on my interest without being explicit. But then pillers will respond with “you’re just trying to justify making the man do all the work!!111”
/r/PurplePillDebate13/09/20 12:26 AM
1

Which is what makes me think behaviour might be an issue, I dunno
/r/PurplePillDebate13/09/20 12:23 AM
1

Well it’s difficult to specify and categorize they weren’t all the same, I’m just referring to what they had in common.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/09/20 11:00 PM
1

Good idea!
/r/PurplePillDebate12/09/20 12:47 PM
1

Yeah that’s the problem. It would definitely go against what feels natural. I believe it’s a common pick up technique among men though? (To act casual and detached)
/r/PurplePillDebate12/09/20 12:25 PM
1

Indeed, which is why I posted this but all it resulted in was everyone calling me a Chad chaser lol 😩
/r/PurplePillDebate12/09/20 10:07 AM
1

Well these were people I knew years ago now and have since lost contact with. I’ve only had one crush recently and that was a complicated situation because he was a social worker.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/09/20 10:03 AM
1

The guys I was interested in never saw the low-effort side.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/09/20 09:56 AM
1

Combination of all those things really
/r/PurplePillDebate12/09/20 09:38 AM
2

When you’re crushing on someone, it’s difficult to objectively judge their attractiveness level. Some of my friends thought they were ‘meh’, others thought they were cute. I’d say they were all at least 5s, like no obvious flaws and all over 5’5 with decent grooming/hygiene. As for the guys I haven’t been interested in... I can say some of them were facially attractive but they just weren’t very masculine I suppose?
/r/PurplePillDebate12/09/20 08:58 AM
1

For sure. All the men I’ve been interested in have shared similar hobbies/interests to me and were people I found engaging to talk to. A lot of them also shared a lot of the same mental health and neurodivergency issues as me, though that was more unintentional. It’s weird the things you subconsciously pick up on. Having said that, I’ve also shared things in common with men that have been interested in me and some of those connections have led to friendships. Though there’s also been others I’ve…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/09/20 05:58 AM
0

Eh I think most men don’t find the majority of women attractive just the Stacies. Also rape and spousal abuse have very little to do with attraction.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/09/20 05:39 AM
2

I’ve been interested in men who aren’t as conventionally attractive as my ex. I was repeatedly open to him about the fact I felt like he was “out of my league”, and it frustrated him. He eventually cited my insecurity and self-loathing as one of the major reasons for him losing interest. So I dunno.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/09/20 02:51 AM
1

I’m confused? I never claimed to be overly attractive or high SMV, just that I find it confusing that less effort results in more interest (seemingly).
/r/PurplePillDebate12/09/20 02:18 AM
1

I don’t consider myself especially attractive. Maybe average to decent on a good day. I think it’s more that their personalities are more on the shy/awkward side or they aren’t particularly bright. I ask them questions and give them opportunities to speak but they don’t say much.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/09/20 02:14 AM
2

I bring up my ex because determining my looksmatch isn’t simple after being with someone very conventionally attractive. Also a lot of this post is referring to my early experiences as well as my current experience. There hasn’t been any obvious changes, in fact everything is insanely Groundhog Day-y.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/20 10:00 PM
1

Friends/acquaintances never said I acted fake or weird. At most it’d be like “you seem very happy around them”.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/20 09:46 PM
1

How do you know they’re more attractive? None of these men were considered particularly hot by my friends. My ex was more conventionally attractive than them. A lot of the men that have been interested in me I’ve struggled to hold a conversation with. It’ll just be me doing all the talking and them saying “yeah” every few mins.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/20 09:44 PM
3

What if my ex was more conventionally attractive then the men I pursued though?
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/20 09:35 PM
1

Sometimes I’ve gotten attention that I’ve perceived as potentially flirty (compliments, nicknames, initiating lots of messages) but then it dies down.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/20 07:17 PM
2

Well most men here are saying that no amount of dressing or acting a particular way will widen my options so yeah, that’s the only logical conclusion to draw
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/20 07:13 PM
1

What counts as “too forward”? Usually I’ve only hit on someone after knowing them for a least a few weeks, never straight away.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/20 06:50 PM
1

I wouldn’t say I “cake it on”
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/20 06:42 PM
1

I wouldn’t necessarily say shy, just generally on the more intellectual/artsy side rather than macho or sporty.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/20 06:36 PM
1

Not into fuckboys. I guess you could say my type is decent looking nerds and older men? The guys I tend to get attention from are generally younger than me and socially awkward.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/20 06:26 PM
2

Some were strangers, some were people I know. I’d say a mix of attractive and unattractive. My ex was very conventionally attractive and seemed to find me attractive without make-up and first thing in the morning. That relationship felt like a fluke.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/20 06:24 PM
3

Part of it is unconscious though. Like I genuinely do feel more smiley/giggly around someone if I’m attracted to them, and will look at their face more when they’re talking. Not necessarily to impress them, it just happens.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/20 06:13 PM
3

Not sure what constitutes as a Chad tbh. Just the fact I’ve gotten compliments when I haven’t showered in days and look homeless vs. not even a second glance when I’ve spent 3 hours getting ready is so odd to me lol.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/20 06:09 PM
3

I’ve literally never been fat lol
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/20 06:01 PM
3

By that logic it seems that there’s no real point putting in “effort” then? Since it seems as though it can’t affect your rating or give you more options.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/20 05:49 PM
4

Lmao prob true
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/20 05:37 PM
1

I don’t know any men irl that are incels by definition, though certainly some that have less options than others. Some of the aforementioned men have actually had a decent amount of relationships though. But yeah, I can see how relaxed behaviour could potentially be read as interest.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/20 05:21 PM
1

He was already well aware of the affair as it was happening. As was the rest of the family. Plus I don’t think it’s any child’s business or responsibility to intervene in adult situations. Sorry if that’s a hot take. Obviously I knew it was wrong and felt bad for him.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/09/20 02:42 PM
1

I was 11
/r/PurplePillDebate10/09/20 02:39 PM
1

I’ve seen it happen irl, which makes me think it’s plausible
/r/PurplePillDebate10/09/20 01:21 PM
1

My aunt’s ex husband offered to raise her affair baby as his own. But she said no and chose the other guy, and then when things didn’t work out with him tried to play victim and get her ex husband back. It was a shit show. In fact I still remember that Christmas he was preparing lunch for all of us and waiting on us, while she was sitting around texting the dude she was cheating with and making no effort to hide it. Feels bad.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/09/20 01:20 PM
5

30F Compatibility Personality Intelligence Facial Attractiveness Physical state of body Height (doesn’t have to be 6’ but preferably at least my height - 5’5) The following are significantly less important to me: Ambition Status Financial gain Amount of friends
/r/PurplePillDebate10/09/20 12:34 PM
2

Friendzoning and ghosting are two different things, bud. Also I never said I was entitled to relationships or sex just that showing interest hasn’t worked for me in the past.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/09/20 09:40 AM
1

Quantity < quality. I’m not looking an LTR not a hook-up.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/09/20 02:31 AM
1

No
/r/PurplePillDebate10/09/20 01:38 AM
1

Most people I know are in LTRs
/r/PurplePillDebate09/09/20 09:37 PM
1

I know shitty, abusive partners exist but its not the majority. Marriage at 13 isn’t the norm. Most people I know are pretty content with their partners. And even an occasionally tense or dysfunctional relationship is preferable to total isolation. Telling me capitalism is the issue solves nothing, unless you’re suggesting I start a violent revolution which would likely be futile anyway.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/09/20 09:22 PM
1

I’m 30 and just got out of a 7 year de-facto relationship. Always been an LTR person, zero interest in casual sex.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/09/20 09:14 PM
2

That could be it. I’m not terribly great at telling the difference. Regardless, I lost potential friendships with awesome people so still sucks.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/09/20 09:03 PM
0

I have had men who were initially friendly stop talking to me when I showed interest 😶
/r/PurplePillDebate09/09/20 02:47 PM
3

Well I’m not attracted to other women so unlikely lol. Also it’s difficult to establish and maintain close friendships at my age.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/09/20 11:38 AM
6

The value of companionship shouldn’t be overlooked. As I enter my 30s I’m finding more and more that social isolation is pretty much inevitable without a partner. My ex partner gave me the shits at times and he was often messy and inconsiderate. But you learn over time it’s those little things you crave: having someone to talk about your day with, to cook dinner for, watch TV with, accompany you to the grocery store etc. Just those mundane everyday things that help keep you sane in this shitty c…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/09/20 06:07 AM
3

It is prejudiced, definitely. But refusing to date fat women, women with kids and women with a high n count is also prejudiced.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/09/20 04:33 AM
2

Though ime there isn’t one standard “type” men go for. I know plenty of men that don’t like the porn look at all.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/09/20 09:31 PM
3

Am I the only person here who finds all the women shown attractive? With the exception of maybe the Brazilian models, but they’re more Normie than ‘ugly’ imo.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/09/20 09:26 PM
5

Sounds like they women you’ve been with weren’t attracted to you or had low sex drives
/r/PurplePillDebate08/09/20 09:23 PM
3

I dunno, plenty of women love twinks, bears and silver foxes, and even a number of facially odd-looking men have a big following (Benedict Cumberbatch, Adam Driver etc).
/r/PurplePillDebate08/09/20 09:10 PM
5

This appears to be mainly a Western phenomenon. In Japan and Korea beauty ideals are much softer/“cuter” and the features favoured by both men and women alike tend to include a small round face, big eyes, small mouth, a thin but not muscular physique etc. Western trends such as prominent cheekbones, defined jawlines and strong brows are generally considered too “fierce”. I think “masculine” features portray sexual virility and perhaps that is more in line with what Western men desire. Also the “…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/09/20 08:27 PM
7

I never said women’s preferences were good or men’s preferences were bad. They just are. Personally, I don’t care about the income of a prospective partner, my ex was NEET for the first two years of our relationship. However employability is a mutable characteristic, just like the things pillers complain about (weight, n count) so it’s hypocritical to complain. And women absolutely do get judged for being gold diggers. Sure to an extent it’s considered pragmatic to want a man who’s financially s…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/09/20 03:51 AM
9

It’s the number of sexual partners a person has had
/r/PurplePillDebate08/09/20 03:25 AM
53

It’s not the fact people have preferences which irks me, it’s the fact they constantly use them as an excuse to be hateful and tear down someone’s worth as a person. Also while you’re entitled to your preferences (as we all are), you’re not entitled to applause and respect for those preferences, nor can you control how it will make others perceive you. Just as a woman with socioeconomic preferences will be seen as a gold digger and someone with race preferences as a racist, a man with a preferen…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/09/20 12:54 AM
1

Definitely was for my relationship lol. Obviously doesn’t always go south, but it’s why I believe couples need to live together at least a year before making any serious commitments.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/20 01:18 PM
10

You really shouldn’t use a subreddit of lonely spergs (myself included) as your basis for understanding humanity or men in general. Everyone here is bitter and almost no-one innately understands human interaction otherwise we wouldn’t be sitting around analyzing it. Also I’ve never met a man irl who asked or cared about my sexual history. I literally know sex workers and women with multiple kids who have no trouble getting bfs. Handwringing over female sexuality is mainly a thing among conservat…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/20 11:49 AM
0

You realise you can talk about this issue without invalidating rape victims right? This feels like another thinly veiled attempt to propagate the notion that men have it worse than women.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/20 09:31 AM
3

This isn’t really a blackpilled view, it’s a realistic one. Most normies will tell you that no-one wants to be around autistic or depressed people.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/09/20 12:25 AM
2

Yeah the idea of finding a man who is willing to take on my mental health issues is a bit of a fantasy lmao. Esp now I no longer have looks or youth on my side. Even the most beta guys I know have dumped exes over mental health issues. That’s nice you can delude yourself, I can’t and won’t.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/20 11:27 PM
5

Yeah... not true lol
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/20 11:16 PM
2

I’ve accepted my fate. I plan to rope soon.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/20 01:31 PM
3

30 yos with bpd and autism can’t afford to vet lol
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/20 01:14 PM
2

Well yeah so what’s the point lol I’ve made online friends before via mutual interests, but not when it’s just shared misery
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/20 01:13 PM
3

I’m just saying, it never leads to friendship or even a mutually, genuinely enjoyable exchange so I don’t see the point.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/20 01:07 PM
3

Men are very visual. They don’t “fall in love” over time they either like you instantly or they don’t. So forming connections/friendships/whatever with the intent of starting a romantic relationship doesn’t work. And that’s true that school, college etc presents more opportunities to meet people. But again, that’s only part of it.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/20 01:06 PM
3

I’ve chatted with plenty of people on Reddit and it never goes anywhere lol
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/20 01:02 PM
3

Exactly. I think OP has been consuming too much media.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/20 01:00 PM
2

Yup
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/20 12:58 PM
3

Exactly :/ Hedonism is for the young and rich, it’s not inherent to being single
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/20 12:53 PM
2

I’ve honestly tried for years to connect with my mum, but it’s gotten to the point where I just don’t have the energy anymore. The circumstances behind the no job/homeless thing are complex and I’d rather not get into them.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/20 12:49 PM
2

My mother is a narcissist and I’ve never had any contact with my father. My sister is much younger/from a different relationship and barely knows me.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/20 12:38 PM
4

I’ve honestly given up at this point. I’ve met plenty of people with similar hobbies/interests who still weren’t interested.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/20 12:36 PM
4

How do you even know what I’m shooting for? XD
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/20 12:34 PM
2

I personally know many, many people with partners and kids who lead full, vibrant lives and travel frequently. I honestly think the idea of partnered people being stifled and bored is a cope for single people. Sure it might be challenging when the kids are young but kids don’t stay young for long, plus babysitters exist. I think the distinction you speak of is more economic. The hedonistic lifestyle being revered is mostly accessible to the rich and young, nothing to do with relationship status.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/20 12:25 PM
5

Agreed, but that’s only part of it. I know people that barely work who still prefer to keep to themselves. I think part of it is that they’re “over” partying after a certain point, another part is that they prefer to invest their time and energy into their partner/kids.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/20 12:19 PM
2

No friends, family, no job, homeless lol
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/20 12:15 PM
6

Because those things simply aren’t feasible once you reach a certain age. At your age, I was going to multiple parties a week - now I’m lucky if someone even bothers to text me. When most people in your age group are settling down with partners/kids or working full-time jobs, you find there are less and less opportunities to socialize. The same goes for casual sex - less opportunities when most people in your social circle are in LTRs. Not to mention we become less desirable as we age. Opportuni…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/20 12:05 PM
1

Being in a LTR/having kids and enjoying a life of travel, adventure, creativity etc.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/20 11:58 AM
3

Nah my life is basically a shit show overall lol. Sensory processing disorder is basically when you have extreme sensitivities to light, sound, touch, taste etc. It can be quite debilitating for some people.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/20 11:57 AM
3

I’d say average? I lost my virginity at 21 and had my “casual sex” phase in my early 20s (4-5 people) but I didn’t have good experiences and decided it wasn’t for me. My ex never cared or asked me about my n count.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/20 11:51 AM
3

Yep, high-functioning. I never had any issues academically and people are often surprised when I tell them (I suspect I’ve become good at masking). The sensory processing stuff I struggle with though. I’m 30 years old.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/20 11:42 AM
7

To some extent, but we live in increasingly individualistic, isolated societies where emotional expression is shamed and where the nuclear family is pretty much the only escape from loneliness. We don’t place as much value on extended family and community anymore, and friendships tend to fizzle out after 25. I don’t think nuclear families are necessarily our biological destiny, but I do think they’re the only way to survive capitalist society.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/20 11:35 AM
7

I have been dumped but my ex gave all these different vague conflicting reasons for it and got angry the more I questioned him about it. I’ve only been in one relationship and have been in unrequited love dozens of times. I suspect my autism and mental health issues likely play a role. People generally don’t specify why they’ve rejected you, they try to be nice/PC about it.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/20 11:15 AM
1

The two things aren’t mutually exclusive
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/20 11:11 AM
5

I love sex actually, more than my ex did
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/20 11:07 AM
5

I can’t say exactly, I just know based on experience that I don’t.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/20 11:00 AM
6

Yup :(
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/20 10:59 AM
49

Personally I’d love to be in a long, loving relationship with one man and have kids. It’s just not feasible because I don’t possess qualities that men select for an LTR. FYI you can still travel and experience the world in an LTR. And you can have a depressing, boring, “safe” life while single. I get the impression you’re under 25 because you seem to have an unrealistic view of single life. It’s not promiscuity and adventure and friendship, it’s sitting on the couch on a Friday night eating your…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/20 10:23 AM
2

If I knew I’d fix it lol
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/20 07:51 AM
3

I don’t know, my partner was pretty consistently attracted to me for years then one day he just wasn’t anymore and that was it.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/20 04:17 AM
3

Nah I can say wholeheartedly I did and still do love my ex. The feeling wasn’t mutual.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/20 03:54 AM
5

I’ve lost and then regained attraction in the course of a relationship 🤷🏻‍♀️
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/20 03:50 AM
1

Definitely not my experience. My partner was in a new LTR within weeks. I think it has more to do with who initiates the breakup and also who the higher value partner is.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/20 03:44 AM
2

Toxic masculinity imo is basically just ‘insecure masculinity’. It’s when men act homophobic or hate on women for the sake of preserving their masculinity. Not that masculinity is bad in itself.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/20 02:52 AM
2

Ask the men lol
/r/PurplePillDebate05/09/20 01:33 AM
3

Me
/r/PurplePillDebate04/09/20 02:24 PM
13

I definitely wouldn’t date someone long-distance again
/r/PurplePillDebate04/09/20 02:05 PM
2

Why are you people so paranoid about women being gold diggers? XD Poor and working class men would never marry if this were the case. Plenty of women become their partner’s carers in such an event, which definitely shows devotion and care. You can get a separation and still be entitled to assets.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/09/20 06:45 AM
2

It’s been statistically proven that women are more likely to stay with their partners in the event of an illness or injury. Men don’t love at all, let alone unconditionally. They just want live-in maids/prostitutes.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/09/20 03:28 AM
2

I honestly laugh every time I hear that line. The amount of men in their late 20s I know who are already fat and balding.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/09/20 03:24 AM
5

I’m a woman and I agree.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/09/20 03:23 AM
6

FDS= That having high standards is useful and realistic for most women. Unless you’re willing to be a cat lady some degree of settling is inevitable. Red pill= That men age like “fine wine” and have more options the older they get Blue pill= That people and relationships are generally good
/r/PurplePillDebate04/09/20 03:05 AM
10

It’s evidence that the song has been marketed really well.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/09/20 02:51 AM
5

Most likely there’s a shame-y aspect to it. Sex workers are still seen as dirty and sex work clients as ugly/pathetic.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/09/20 12:46 PM
2

There seems to be a number of people on Reddit who think all sex work= coercive. As long as they’re of age and not sex trafficking victims it’s none of my business tbh. Sharing his resources with poor women is honestly preferable to taking advantage of drunk women at parties like a lot of young guys do.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/09/20 12:22 PM
3

I wouldn’t give a shit tbh. I have a number of male friends who see prostitutes. As long as he’s staying safe and not exposing himself to STDs.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/09/20 09:58 AM
1

It’s funny cause this guy didn’t have high standards at all - like a lot of the women he lusted after were Beckys/average
/r/PurplePillDebate01/09/20 07:44 AM
2

I’m sure there are outliers but unfortunately this is likely true. Women like to feel small/cute/feminine around men and I feel butch af around men shorter than me.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/09/20 03:57 AM
2

I was recently watching Wolf of Wallstreet with a male friend and he said he didn’t find Margot Robbie “all that attractive” and didn’t get her appeal. I was gobsmacked and actually looked at him like he was insane because she’s pretty much the definition of beauty imo.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/09/20 03:45 AM
1

Bieber has the Sahara effect on me too lmao
/r/PurplePillDebate01/09/20 03:45 AM
1

Fun fact, I actually did know a girl with a preference for short dudes. She was like 4’8 and wanted someone “not too tall” so they wouldn’t look weird together.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/09/20 03:43 AM
0

100%. I can look at a male model and be like “this is a physically flawless human being” while feeling nothing downstairs. I’ve also had at least two men in my life say I’m attractive while admitting to not feeling any attraction toward me. One told me “physically you’re very attractive but your personality is unattractive”. Another was a guy who exclusively liked and dated Asian women. I also have a friend with Turners who was rejected by every guy in our social circle yet her current partner i…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/09/20 03:32 AM
2

That’s the thing. The worst case scenario for sexual harassment is potentially losing your job or getting a bad rep and that’s only if you’re doing it in professional environments (and if the recipient decides to make a complaint, which many don’t and sometimes even when they do aren’t taken seriously). You’d think from the way a lot of men on Reddit carry on that it’s a jailable offence. -_- There’s no real consequence other than being rebuked, which is why it’s so common.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/09/20 01:00 AM
1

Excellent comment!
/r/PurplePillDebate01/09/20 12:53 AM
3

What’s considered “sexy” or “skimpy” varies depending on context. A woman wearing skinny jeans with her hair loosely around her shoulders might be considered provocative to people in ME and South Asian cultures but in most Western countries people wouldn’t even look twice. Same way naked breasts are considered non-sexual in certain cultures. There’s nothing inherently sexual about any body part except the genitals - its more the cultural significance people attach to it. And while Lara Croft is …
/r/PurplePillDebate01/09/20 12:40 AM
1

Either getting back with my ex or having sex with someone I’m interested in
/r/PurplePillDebate31/08/20 12:53 PM
1

Casual sex isn’t likely to sate that urge though. And there’s a whole bunch of other reasons it’s a bad idea.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/08/20 12:34 PM
1

Why would I want to tho lol
/r/PurplePillDebate31/08/20 10:32 AM
1

Well that and also the whole oxytocin thing that happens, even if you don’t actually have feelings for the person. Kinda fucks me up a bit lol.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/08/20 10:25 AM
1

Also having sex with another person isn’t the same as just watching porn or fapping, there’s a psychological component I’m not sure I’m ready for.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/08/20 04:31 AM
1

Everyone I know is in a relationship lol
/r/PurplePillDebate31/08/20 03:25 AM
4

The hostility is due to the multitudes of men who hit on women in inappropriate ways (“send bobs and vagene”) or who are annoyingly persistent after you’ve already indicated you’re not interested or have a bf already. Or men in positions of power hitting on people they shouldn’t. Unfortunately there are a lot of socially inept idiots out there making the rest of you look bad. However, I don’t think anyone would be offended by “hey I’d like to get you know you better” or something chill like that…
/r/PurplePillDebate31/08/20 02:41 AM
2

I’ve never approached Chad, the one exception was my Chadlite ex since he was pretty nerdy and we were already platonically friendly. Generally speaking if I see a very conventionally handsome guy, I won’t even consider him as an option because I know it’d be foolish.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/08/20 02:28 AM
2

Who hurt you
/r/PurplePillDebate31/08/20 02:12 AM
1

I honestly don’t get people have no preferences. Sex is essentially touching, holding and looking at another person, surely it makes sense to want that person to be aesthetically pleasing to you? Even if you turn the lights off, their weight, body shape, muscle tone and the texture of their skin will still impact the experience. If they have poor hygiene the smell will be unavoidable. I dunno, to me bad sex can be deeply, deeply unpleasant, but maybe if you’re drunk or high you don’t care.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/08/20 02:03 AM
0

As a woman with a crippling porn addiction, frankly the idea of someone being hornier than me is terrifying. Perhaps I’m an outlier I dunno.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/08/20 01:41 AM
1

Horny doesn’t necessarily mean sleeping with everyone and anyone, it just means having a high sex drive.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/08/20 01:36 AM
2

Thankyou!
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/20 11:47 PM
1

I wouldn’t really care tbh. Of course you’d want them to appreciate and support your abilities and accomplishments, but I don’t think that should be the core of a relationship. You’d want someone who’d still love you if you got into an accident and couldn’t do those things anymore. Loving someone based on what they do instead who they are seems conditional.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/20 11:47 PM
3

It’s not so much about the cultural status quo, it’s about the fact people usually invest effort into pursing things they care about. If someone really wants a particular job for instance, they’ll spend time crafting a great resume and cover letter, will likely show up in person, apply multiple times etc. As opposed to someone submitting 60 resumes on a job site one night, hoping just one will lead to an interview. If an LTR is your goal it’ll require someone with the attitude of the first guy, …
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/20 02:06 PM
5

Not saying that not approaching will prevent it. However, there’s a higher chance he’ll be genuinely interested if he‘s compelled enough to make the first move. A lot of men are thirsty and will take the opportunity if a woman seems keen, even if he’s not particularly interested/attracted. It’s an “easy lay”. However, the longer and harder someone chases you, the more you can be certain of their feelings. Plus a lot of men automatically tend to view hard-to-get women as higher value women, espec…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/20 01:35 PM
5

Dude I literally moved countries to be with someone I wanted, and all the money for flights, visas, insurance etc came out of my own pocket. Don’t talk to me about effort. I’ve chased as hard as a person can chase. And it’s not a lie, I’m basing it on my lived experience. Sometimes a man will be friendly toward me and then I’ll show interest and will get the cold shoulder. It’s happened so many times. Literally the only guys that have ever been persistently interested are the ones that I’ve igno…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/20 10:31 AM
2

He was loyal and very affectionate during the relationship, which gave me hope. But I felt like I was the one always doing the work. At the time I felt that maybe being lazy and complacent was just his nature but alas. I do think some men tend to have “placeholder” girlfriends until someone better comes along. Also the difference between men and women approaching is that men are both biologically hardwired and socially encouraged to approach. So I don’t see why they wouldn’t unless they had crip…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/20 10:05 AM
-3

Nah 23 to 29. I invested too much into the relationship and couldn’t see it was one-sided. What I mean is a woman approaching a man is pointless as he would make the first move if he were interested. So the best case scenario is you’ll be strung along.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/20 08:04 AM
6

Oh I know that, but the difference is that men will approach when they’re genuinely interested. Also I was led on for like seven years so there’s that.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/20 07:28 AM
8

I’m sure some do. However as a woman who has done a lot of approaching and chasing, I do wish I’d listened to other women on this matter. I thought I was being counter-cultural and “not like the other girls” until I learnt the hard way that sometimes conventional wisdom is conventional wisdom for a reason. 🙃
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/20 06:15 AM
19

Well I think I’m a worthless pile of shit so not really. The only reason why a lot of women refuse to approach, put men through shit tests etc is to protect themselves from getting hurt, not because of any innate sense of superiority. We learn early on that attraction doesn’t equal interest and that a lot of men are far too willing to string women along.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/20 05:32 AM
2

It’d depend. Generally if a guy has kids I’d assume there was a past failed marriage/LTR so that could spell baggage. My major concern would be “what if their kid doesn’t like me and they see me as the bad lady stealing dad away?” or worse “what if the kid DOES like me and then the relationship doesn’t work out and I inadvertently give them abandonment issues?” As the child of a single parent myself, I’m aware more than anyone that when you date a single parent you’re also effectively dating the…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/08/20 12:33 AM
2

I’m genuinely confused as to what my looksmatch is, since my ex partner was arguably more conventionally attractive (6’2, built, handsome etc) than a lot of the men that have rejected me. He had/has a lot of issues though. Also some of these men complimented me, though I guess it was in a platonic way in hindsight.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/08/20 01:54 AM
5

A lot of my close friends are men. I greatly enjoy male company and how relaxed and honest these interactions are. I especially love sperging out with nerdy men about music, movies, philosophical stuff etc. When I was still with my ex, I considered him my best friend.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/08/20 01:48 AM
0

Who hurt you bro
/r/PurplePillDebate28/08/20 01:43 AM
1

Because for straight men anger and horniness are terrifyingly linked
/r/PurplePillDebate28/08/20 01:39 AM
2

Are you saying this as a woman or bloke?
/r/PurplePillDebate27/08/20 02:03 PM
5

I think 9 times out of 10, men will pursue women they’re into. So if I’m the one doing the pursuing, chances are they never have been and never will be interested, and it’s a futile exercise. The ones that invite their friends I think are trying to be nice, but also trying to give me a hint so they don’t feel they’re “leading me on”.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/08/20 12:16 PM
4

I have, both in direct and indirect ways. Wouldn’t do it again. Almost always results in either ghosting or the guy inviting his friends.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/08/20 12:06 PM
3

Ugh so true. I sacrificed everything for my LTR (moved overseas, consequently ruining my social life and any chance of having a career) and now I have nothing just cause he woke up one day and decided he didn’t “feel the same” anymore. We were together seven years and he found a new gf within weeks. This was a guy who at the start constantly talked about marriage and being soul mates. Relationships scare the fuck out of me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/08/20 06:58 AM
1

I dunno I’m NEET and high value men run at the first sight of me - the only men that tend to like me are either very young or unemployed/directionless themselves. Even my partner dumped me once he became financially comfortable (he was NEET and lived at home when we met). The harder he worked, the less he respected me, and the more he wanted to enjoy the fruits of his labour alone. As he became more confident and independent, I became less so, and it created an unequal dynamic that become very t…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/08/20 11:01 PM
1

You’re a very angry person lol
/r/PurplePillDebate25/08/20 02:13 AM
1

Well you don’t generally ask a stranger their weight on Reddit unless you’re trying to infer something... I’m open to being corrected but your choice not to engage shrug. Kinda weird to bring something up then refuse to elaborate. Maybe you didn’t use the word “rare” but you’ve still claimed it’s significantly less than the average male.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/08/20 11:57 PM
1

The onus is on you to provide the data since you’re the one who claimed it was a million dollar industry. I don’t even know what you’re referring to outside of PUAs tbh. I never claimed you said women never experience rejection, I said you argued it happens “rarely”. Lmao what’s my weight got to do with anything? I’m thin if you must know, but not overly pretty facially.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/08/20 04:41 PM
1

You said males approach and fight for females in the animal kingdom, so I assume that’s what’s you were inferring. My anecdotes seemed to be relevant as you were claiming that women rarely experience rejection and that anything other than a verbal “no” to directly approaching someone isn’t a valid rejection. I was giving examples of the different ways in which rejection can happen. Obviously I can’t speak for all women, but I feel I can speak for least a portion of us as many friends and family …
/r/PurplePillDebate17/08/20 03:05 PM
1

This isn’t guesswork on my part though. Usually when I’ve liked someone, friends/acquaintances will confirm the fact the person knows (and perhaps, as the study suggests, part of that is the fact men commonly interpret friendliness as sexual interest in the first place). Surely if they knew, and reciprocated my interest, they would see this as a green light to approach me? As you said, men are wired to pursue women - it’s very unlikely that a man would be so shy and so disconnected from his biol…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/08/20 09:26 AM
3

Exactly. Like there are certain personal dealbreakers for me, for instance being very overweight, but I don’t go around telling fat guys they’re objectively worthless and don’t deserve love. Plenty of women (and men) I know love bears so it’d be narcissistic to say the fat guys of the world are missing out by not tapping my average-looking ass. XD You can own your personal preferences without having to insult people imo. Imo Reddit’s obsession with single moms is kinda just modern day slut-shami…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/08/20 02:26 AM
3

Honestly, if having kids from a previous relationship is a deal breaker for someone then that’s their choice. It’s just the fact they seem offended by the mere concept of single moms dating, like “how dare they try to find love!” My ex left me for a single mom so men’s “standards” are bs anyway lol.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/08/20 01:56 AM
2

Where are all these older men willing to date younger women? I’ve had an older man fetish forever and I can say with confidence I’ve never been hit on by one that wasn’t belligerently drunk or high. Meanwhile I’ve had much younger guys who won’t leave me alone. Would honestly get more D if I liked younger.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/08/20 01:24 PM
2

“Remember most people aren’t attractive in their youth” Exactly. People on Reddit act like all 18 yos are supermodels who suddenly become swamp witches overnight. Sure most people look less attractive in comparison to their younger selves but it’s not that black & white. It’s more like an 8 becoming a 6 or a 5 becoming a 3.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/08/20 01:08 PM
2

I was a pretty homely 18 yo, so I’ve never had sexual power lol. I did get more attention from random creeps at that age, but guys my own age still ignored me. Also my tastes have barely changed at all. I’ve liked older men since puberty. Not all young women are into the same thing. And the women whose tastes do change... so what? Maybe they decided they didn’t want to be treated like crap by unstable partners anymore and that the sexual excitement wasn’t worth it. Or maybe (just maybe) their pr…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/08/20 12:45 PM
3

Thankyou
/r/PurplePillDebate12/08/20 10:44 AM
1

I have no interest in tech so it doesn’t matter, as I said the jobs I was applying for were entry-level and relevant to my qualifications. I’m not telling you my degree because you aren’t a careers counsellor and it’s none of your business (however I will say it’s not gender studies).
/r/PurplePillDebate12/08/20 02:58 AM
1

Cool literally one field lol. My degree is irrelevant, I’m merely refuting your statement that women get handed jobs just for existing.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/08/20 02:51 AM
2

Yeah I know maybe... one or two people at best who fit that description.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/08/20 02:44 AM
1

I’m not telling you what schools I went to lmao. Fact is, I worked hard, I evidently had potential, and still ended up being at the bottom of the barrel. And I wasn’t applying for super qualified jobs either, just getting a simple office job in admin or reception was impossible. And this is despite seeing career counsellors to put together targeted resumes, submitting detailed cover letters with each application etc. From ages 21-28 I was applying for dozens of jobs per week and barely getting c…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/08/20 02:19 PM
1

Are you fucking kidding lmao, I’m female and I’ve never been hired anywhere apart from a supermarket despite having a degree and being a straight A student throughout school. We’re all out here struggling. You need to chill.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/08/20 01:56 PM
1

Diversity hiring is a way for companies to cover their asses and look PC more than anything. Also, massive generalization lol.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/08/20 12:43 PM
1

I love how one YouTube video has managed to undo centuries of historical oppression in almost every culture 😂
/r/PurplePillDebate11/08/20 12:27 PM
1

I’m average looking
/r/PurplePillDebate11/08/20 08:45 AM
0

I’m saying this as a woman. I know I have no power in eliciting commitment from any given male.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/08/20 08:01 AM
4

If “hot” is her one prerequisite then that’s not really having “high standards”, that’s just being a horny idiot (same way men are often horny idiots).
/r/PurplePillDebate11/08/20 06:49 AM
0

My standards -Not religious -Somewhat compatible moral and political views -Kind and respectful -Smart and engaging (don’t have to be a Harvard professor, just someone I can have a decent conversation with) -Mental health/addiction issues stabilized or at least being addressed (dealt with my ex’s untreated alcoholism & mental health issues for years and don’t know if I’d do it again) -Someone I find attractive, which can be difficult to quantify as it happens organically. Doesn’t have to be Chad…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/08/20 05:34 AM
0

This only applies to sex though, if that (in my experience only low value men will sleep with anything). Men are still the gatekeepers of relationships and generally more demanding than women in that regard.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/08/20 05:04 AM
3

Why would she have two kids to two men in jail if she had overly high standards?? Generally petty criminals aren’t high value so she obviously lowered her standards at some point.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/08/20 04:57 AM
8

I’m thin and most of the guys that like me are overweight so go figure. Also not all older women have a high n count. There are people over 30 that have only had one or two partners their whole lives, and people in their early 20s that have had dozens. Just be honest about the fact you don’t find older women physically attractive instead of trying to justify it with shitty generalizations. “Single mums demanding you take care of their kids” as opposed to what? Auctioning their kids off once they…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/08/20 04:43 AM
4

“Short women demanding tall men” ...Ok?
/r/PurplePillDebate11/08/20 04:38 AM
5

I remember buying my ex partner gifts from souvenir shops when I holidayed in LA and my zoomer cousin was almost offended, like “omg don’t buy things for him, buy things for yourself” 😂
/r/PurplePillDebate11/08/20 03:58 AM
4

I’m Australian, though I also lived in Canada for a number of years and my ex was Canadian
/r/PurplePillDebate11/08/20 03:54 AM
5

I’m definitely romantic and long to perform romantic gestures. I buy my loved ones extravagant gifts. I wrote my ex a poem and made him art (in fact I’ve seen all my crushes as artistic muses). I love the idea of planning a romantic holiday and seeing my loved one’s face light up. I could write essays about the beauty of someone’s gaze, or the way my heart flutters when they smile or laugh, easily. The problem is, men don’t usually feel comfortable receiving romantic gestures, because it’s not w…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/08/20 02:54 AM
1

Radfems are a tiny fringe group with no power and barely warrant acknowledgement. Other leftists can’t even stand them, especially with the mainstreaming of intersectional liberal feminism. There’s a greater chance of an ethnostate or Holocaust 2.0 happening than this scenario.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/08/20 01:05 AM
1

“But she still has value to society because society constantly tells women they are valuable, whether they deserve it or not.” Lmao I’d love to live in this AU you’ve created
/r/PurplePillDebate11/08/20 01:02 AM
1

Men generally aren’t dumb in reading women’s intentions. Most men I’ve liked have picked up on it without me explicitly saying anything and even trying to hide/downplay it. “Asking people out” is a modern Western phenomenon, most of humanity and the animal kingdom have managed to reproduce and pair bond without it. Flirting, like most communication, is largely subconscious and conveyed through body language and you’d have to have the social awareness of a cucumber not to spot it.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/08/20 12:45 AM
3

Does this apply to women too? Asking for a friend.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/08/20 06:05 PM
1

And these women were described as “landwhales” and disfigured” so I’m going to assume they were all 1-3 out of 10 (unless it was an exaggeration and the women were merely chubby normies).
/r/PurplePillDebate10/08/20 04:36 PM
1

You can still be rejected even if you aren’t directly asking people out. Women show their interest in men in various ways and it still hurts when that interest isn’t returned. Or when you get ghosted/breadcrumbed.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/08/20 04:21 PM
3

I’ve wondered this myself. It’s a very heterosexist ideology.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/08/20 08:57 AM
1

Sure, there’s a certain percentage of men that are thirsty and will fuck anything (or maybe they were BBW fetishists?). I’ve known women that are the same. Getting sex, if you’re completely indiscriminate about who it’s with, is always possible if you throw your standards out the window. Doesn’t mean that women don’t also experience a significant amount of rejection. Furthermore you’re more likely to find super thirsty men on OLD than you are in any given day to day context. You don’t know the i…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/08/20 01:41 AM
1

Depends really. I’ve been rejected plenty.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/08/20 01:16 AM
2

The situation for men in China is undoubtedly not great. At the same time though, aren’t things like that because there are too many men now compared to women - which is a direct result of the infanticides and favouritism of boys? Of course society will become dysfunctional when there isn’t a natural equilibrium between the sexes.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/08/20 07:19 PM
13

So what? Being nice as a woman doesn’t get you laid either. Niceness isn’t inherently sexy to anyone.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/08/20 06:39 PM
1

I dunno being raped by the guy who killed your family seems like a fate worse than death tbh
/r/PurplePillDebate09/08/20 05:18 PM
2

I get what you’re saying. At the same time though, genetic diversity is key to producing healthy offspring. Regarding invading armies, well, wanting to cuck the men and keep trophy sex slaves is different from simply wanting more babies.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/08/20 05:02 PM
1

I quite like men in their 40s and 50s personally, it’s just not mutual lol Sperm quality decreases notably with age, plus it gets harder (pun not intended) to maintain an erection and ejaculate. So men and women are both in their reproductive prime in their youth. Though I guess a man could hypothetically impregnate many women in a short span of time, whereas a woman has to wait until she’s gone through pregnancy.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/08/20 04:57 PM
10

Self-awareness can be a gift but it’s also a double-edged sword. Our tendency to innovate rather than live in harmony with nature is what’s essentially driving the destruction of ecosystems, other species and eventually ourselves.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/08/20 11:36 AM
15

Yep I personally value human life and think that society generally functions better when happiness is maximized and suffering is minimized. I just don’t see that value as inherent. Imo people who get too deep into the ‘sanctity of life’ narrative are reactionaries and the reason we’re still out here with no bodily autonomy and can’t access voluntarily euthanasia. Telling women they have value because they have a womb is implicitly stating that her reproductive capacities belong to society. I don…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/08/20 11:27 AM
48

Women can’t reproduce without sperm. And if you measure value by reproductive capacity, then women’s value is only temporary. Culturally speaking, boys and men are generally considered more valuable which is why female infanticide is a major epidemic in many places, and why women have historically been barred from participating in public life. Yes, male bodies are treated as disposal in warfare but you could argue that class plays a role in that too. The men at the top are never put in that posi…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/08/20 08:28 AM
2

“Some” measure of improvement isn’t enough to be considered high value though. Just cause my life might be going well compared to - say - a homeless addict screaming at an interchange, doesn’t mean it’s going well. I honestly find it irritating when people wanna talk about career goals and 5 year plans, it reminds of having to talk to my parents and there’s all this underlying flexing/judgment. I have interests and hobbies of course, but those are distinct from goals. Which is what I saw the pos…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/08/20 10:30 AM
1

I’m mentally ill so a lot of those things simply aren’t unattainable for me. Guess I’ll have to remain FA then. 😪
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/08/20 06:25 PM
6

That’s kinda depressing though, I have no idea when or if I’ll ever have my life in order. Though I’ve managed to avoid narcs, I’m mostly just FA and form one-sided crushes on men that are nice to me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/08/20 10:14 AM
9

Isn’t Henry Cavill anti MeToo though?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/08/20 08:42 AM
6

Exactly. This is why it makes me sick that women are forced to internalize all this victim-blaming bs when it comes to cheating. “Oh you better not put age or put on weight or he’ll deserve a roving eye” when literally the most attractive women in history have gotten cheated on.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/08/20 08:41 AM
7

I dunno, I hate small talk too so I actually feel this guy. When you’re dissatisfied with your life talking about yourself can be the most depressing thing, while talking about things bigger about yourself can be a nice escape. Though I get how trauma bonding and fast tracking to intimacy can definitely make you too vulnerable, probably something I need to work on but I don’t know how to stop. :(
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/08/20 08:15 AM
1

Lmao you have a wild idea of what it’s like to be a woman
/r/PurplePillDebate03/08/20 02:58 AM
1

Sure but the advantages of being female only really exist when you’re young and exceptionally attractive. Also help a lot more when it comes to sex/easy money rather than an LTR.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/08/20 05:24 PM
1

Well as a woman I have all the cards stacked against me. So exploiting the game board isn’t an option for everyone. I honestly find it frustrating to see men here and on various dating forums who choose to be victims and don’t understand the advantage their gender gives them. But perhaps it’s more beneficial for me that they don’t.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/08/20 05:12 PM
1

Doesn’t stop men here from complaining endlessly
/r/PurplePillDebate02/08/20 05:07 PM
1

“Attractive men disposable on your fingertip” Thanks I needed a good lol
/r/PurplePillDebate02/08/20 05:06 PM
1

Lmao great way of shirking any and all responsibility for men being shit in relationships. “Well at least you aren’t property anymore!!!11”
/r/PurplePillDebate02/08/20 04:58 PM
1

“Settling” doesn’t usually denote putting up with cheating and other shit behaviour. Way to miss the point. Far as I can see these men are adored by their partners, the only person making accusations of settling is you. I meant that they have to compromise on certain undesirable behaviours that men wouldn’t ever put up with. As I said, the only reason I even mentioned it is cause you guys are so looks-obsessed you’d assume they were simping for Chad.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/08/20 04:52 PM
1

I was making an observation about my friends’ relationships so I don’t even see how this is relevant lol. I can objectively state whether someone is conventionally attractive or not, my own looks are irrelevant to that. I didn’t even mention my own dating preferences.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/08/20 04:45 PM
1

Never said it was men’s fault. Only that it gives them the upper hand in relationships. And sure you could argue that even abuse victims get (or at least think they’re getting) something out of staying with their abusers - unhealthy attachment styles creating certain reward systems in the brain. Doesn’t change the very real damage it does or the fact the power dynamic is unequal.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/08/20 04:20 PM
1

Some people do jobs and volunteer work that involve caring for a large number of people with no real benefit. And I’m not saying women expect these relationships to be give-give, ideally it’s give-take. But for a lot of men it’s take-take. That’s where the problem lies. Either way, arguing about motives misses the point that it’s men who benefit from these cultural norms.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/08/20 04:08 PM
1

Plenty of women find nurturing and caring for someone innately rewarding. The fact this idea seems bewildering only proves my point that most men view relationships only from a ‘take’ perspective.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/08/20 04:03 PM
1

It’s true more often that not
/r/PurplePillDebate02/08/20 03:52 PM
0

Can’t you just be glad to have the upper hand in relationships? Functionally, regardless of the motive, women will stay with men unconditionally. Men won’t stay with women unconditionally. That’s what it boils down to and the reality women have to constantly think about. That no amount of effort will be rewarded with commitment.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/08/20 03:42 PM
0

You’ll never be happy if you see things that way.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/08/20 03:37 PM
1

Red pill: “avoid giving women credit at all costs. If she’s nice it’s a conspiracy fellas.”
/r/PurplePillDebate02/08/20 03:28 PM
1

Not really, a lot of women try to nurture broken men and want to help them be their best selves. Hence you see a lot of women with men who have addiction/mental health/criminal issues but never the other way around.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/08/20 03:24 PM
1

And the only reason I mentioned those men’s looks is cause otherwise one of you would crawl out of the toilet being like “well that’s the price of dating Chad!!!!111”
/r/PurplePillDebate02/08/20 02:17 PM
0

Dude I’m 30, no-one my age gives a shit about KPop bands lol
/r/PurplePillDebate02/08/20 02:14 PM
2

That hasn’t been what I’ve observed at all. Maybe the US is different to Australia. I know plenty of fit, decent looking women with overweight, unattractive men.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/08/20 02:13 PM
0

Why do you guys always think its about looks and money? I’m talking about behaviour. Lots of women put up with bad behaviour for the sake of having a partner. I even inserted an example of the amount of women I know who turn a blind eye to cheating from their (average to below average looking) spouses.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/08/20 12:52 PM
4

Not at all. As a former customer service worker, I know the personality type well and cackle with glee seeing them get their just deserts. There are definitely male Karens though and I feel this goes unacknowledged. Basically if you have a real asshole customer that ruins your day, they WILL be a middle-class, middle-aged white person 9 times out of 10. Which isn’t to say all people of that demographic suck, it’s just something you notice. Much like “boomer”, rather than an inherent trait it’s c…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/08/20 12:28 PM
0

My dating experiences and those of the women I know have made me realise men tend to have the upper hand in het relationships. Men are usually the ones to either start or end relationships, have an easier time finding committed partners, and only have to put in a fraction of the effort and emotional labour that women do. Their approach to relationships tends to be self-centred (“how does this benefit me”), thus their tendency to leave relationships that are no longer “fun” instead of trying to h…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/08/20 11:35 AM
2

Not true in my case. I haven’t been on a date or gotten laid in over 6 months, whereas my ex partner got into another LTR like a month after we broke up.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/08/20 04:41 AM
3

It’s cause straight male sexuality has been front and centre in our culture for most of human history, while female sexuality and queer sexuality has remained largely hidden and mysterious. So people tend to see male sexuality as inherently malevolent and harmful. And men themselves haven’t exactly tried to dispel this notion - centuries of religion has focused on trying to quell and repress male sexuality (i.e. covering women up so men won’t be “tempted”). Fathers tend to be more protective of …
/r/PurplePillDebate01/08/20 02:35 PM
1

I’ve seen plenty irl. And having commitment issues still isn’t the absence of emotional/romantic needs.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/08/20 02:44 AM
3

Everyone is entitled to their preferences imo. Only wish people would stop regarding those outside their preferences as subhuman. Also exercise some critical thinking and realise it’s likely cultural influence, even if they don’t feel they can change or control it. I do feel bad for short guys. At the same time though, the problem with having a weight preference is that weight isn’t fixed and will likely fluctuate in an LTR (especially as your partner approaches middle-age or after they have chi…
/r/PurplePillDebate31/07/20 02:47 AM
2

Thankyou! My ex was very emotional but it was still impossible to communicate with him
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/07/20 02:24 AM
35

Anyone who’s spent any time on FA forums can see how much single men crave relationships and how the sex is only a small part of it. Men have emotional needs, they aren’t just walking penises. Likewise, unless they’re genuinely asexual, women want and enjoy sex. The fact they’re more discerning than men is merely because there’s so much risk attached to sex for women (both biological and social).
/r/PurplePillDebate30/07/20 04:25 PM
1

It’s just not likely. Not only am I in my 30s and nowhere close to finding someone to father them, but seeing as I’m financially unstable and have BPD I think it’d be morally irresponsible.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/07/20 08:29 AM
1

Exactly
/r/PurplePillDebate30/07/20 07:30 AM
1

I get what you’re saying but the chance of me having children is highly unlikely
/r/PurplePillDebate28/07/20 07:08 PM
1

Another point is that het men tend to be awful at selfies lol. Honestly I think if they met the men in person, or even saw a short video of them, the results may be different than based off one photo. Keep in mind that women tend to be attracted to things like tone of voice, mannerisms etc rather than just looks. Lots of men I find attractive I can admit don’t look all that great in still photos.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/07/20 09:04 AM
2

Agreed. Anyone can be fit but not everyone can be beautiful, even with surgery and make-up. It’s much better to have an attractive face. I’m not generally attracted to overweight men but I too can appreciate and notice if he has a pleasing face.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/07/20 08:54 AM
1

I remember reading somewhere that women on average tend to rate themselves on the low side but I forget what study it was.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/07/20 08:48 AM
1

I do know some guys that fully embrace the fact they’re assholes and weirdly, it gets them more attention.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/07/20 04:49 AM
1

I agree that his ‘ugliness’ is exaggerated but he’s certainly no Chad either. “Some people are partially good looking and slip through the cracks. They may even fit a niche in that way for looking different and unique.“ Lol yeah this doesn’t exist for women, you’re either attractive or you’re not. Funny how we can only appreciate “unique looks” in men.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/20 11:35 PM
1

Not all rich/famous guys have the aura - Weinstein still had to trick and coerce women into bed for instance. I recall the director of Ghost World observing how much women loved Buscemi and even his wife saying “there’s only one guy in Hollywood you have to worry about me being alone with and it’s Steve Buscemi” lol
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/20 01:56 PM
1

As I said, I’ve asked out men before and it never works. The general advice you receive as a woman is that if men want you, they’ll make the first move. In fact I’m pretty sure this aligns with TRP too. Which isn’t to say I don’t put out signals that I’m interested. And if I’m not getting a response, then I leave it at that. Men don’t enjoy attention from women they don’t like, just as women don’t enjoy the reverse.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/20 01:12 PM
1

I actually know tons of men. And no-one can go out too much rn owing to Covid. Also women aren’t meant to ask out men. I’ve tried it in the past and you guys hate it.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/20 12:57 PM
3

Look at the body count thread, even men on Reddit are having more sex/relationships than the average woman
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/20 12:35 PM
1

What is your body count? Questionnaire. Q4ALL: 1. 5 (6 if one instance of oral counts) 2. F30 3. 1 LTR, 2-3 ONS, 2 FWBS 4. Kinda hate this question as it’s honestly circumstantial and subjective. 5. 4 - casual sex was crap tbh. Quality> quantity. But glad I had some good times with my ex at least. Would have preferred more romantic experiences but men don’t like me like that. 6. Openness
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/20 12:21 PM
2

My ex barely even leaves the house and a relationship fell into his lap
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/20 10:53 AM
3

So now this has gone from “women always have it better than men” to “well women just don’t try as hard as men” XD
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/20 10:48 AM
3

Lmao my ex partner got a new gf literally pretty much the moment we broke up and I haven’t even gotten a date in six months but ok
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/20 10:45 AM
2

I don’t have to. Every man I know, no matter how physically unattractive or what a terrible person they are, is in a committed relationship.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/20 10:36 AM
1

It’s really not
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/20 10:32 AM
1

Yeah I doubt that lol
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/20 10:27 AM
9

I’m a woman. I’m unemployed, single, celibate and have no friends. The one relationship I had was one-sided and toxic. Please stop generalizing.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/20 10:16 AM
1

Colour me shocked
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/20 10:14 AM
1

Nah I’d say it’s more 50-50. Or even 40-60. Women want to have sex with literal fictional monsters. That says a lot.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/20 10:11 AM
0

Counter argument: Steve Buscemi. The man isn’t classically handsome at all and has a ton of fangirls. Why? Because aura.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/20 10:09 AM
1

I think the “aura” is something you can attain with time and confidence. There are definitely men who were meh in their youth that are total daddies now. Whereas as a woman you’re either born hot or you aren’t. And then it gets harder to attain what little good looks you did have as you get older. It’s a raw deal.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/20 10:07 AM
1

I’m a 30 yo female and I’m pretty sure 90% of men have a better sex life than me lol
/r/PurplePillDebate26/07/20 07:40 AM
1

I experience rejection constantly and never flip out at the person. Anyone of any gender using as “gay” as an insult is homophobic and cringey. Never said women aren’t exempt from also being pieces of shit... Also you’re derailing as our comments were in direct response to OP.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/07/20 05:57 AM
6

Yeah you’re aren’t the first guy I’ve heard say this. Apparently some chicks are bad at bjs or don’t do bjs at all according to my ex. Also some didn’t wash. :/ Makes sense to me that sex is generally better when two people have good communication, more incentive to put in effort, and genuinely like/are attracted to one another.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/07/20 12:14 PM
2

Or they just weren’t into me, hence why it was casual sex and not a relationship.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/07/20 11:59 AM
12

God you’re so right haha. Reminds me of teen boys throwing around the words “frigid” or “lesbo”. Guess that’s the level of maturity we’re dealing with.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/07/20 11:11 AM
2

The only times in my life I’ve had thrush/yeast infections has been directly after sex. >_<
/r/PurplePillDebate24/07/20 11:09 AM
16

I’ve hated all the casual sex I’ve had yet loved relationship sex. It has nothing to do with asexuality, since asexuality is defined by a lack of sexual attraction not a lack of sexual enjoyment. When a man isn’t all that attracted to you, you can feel it. They just aren’t going to put the same effort in. No oral, no kissing, no foreplay, no communication, no ongoing consent. No real enthusiasm. Whereas all those things are the norm in relationship sex. You feel like two people engaged in a mutu…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/07/20 11:04 AM
12

Agreed. I’ve been hella desperate but casual sex is always a no.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/07/20 10:47 AM
2

People with high SMV rarely end up alone
/r/PurplePillDebate24/07/20 06:02 AM
1

Exactly. Like it might turn a 5 into a 6 but it’s not gonna turn a 2 into an 8. Especially when as you said, most women aren’t MUAs and only wear a small amount. I can count on one hand the amount of people I’ve seen wearing Instagram makeup irl and it looks hella freaky in daylight.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/07/20 06:00 AM
2

I’ve avoided casual sex most of dating life (tried it out in my early 20s and decided I didn’t like it), yet I’m still jaded af. It doesn’t matter if you’ve been dating someone for a year or 5 years or 20 years, you can still be hurt and humiliated by them. Pretending you can date on safe mode is a cope.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/07/20 05:00 AM
3

Is it weird I’ve never been used for sex? Like every time the guy only wanted that it was made fairly obvious, so I didn’t feel misled or anything.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/07/20 04:22 AM
1

Dammit I can’t afford to have high standards XD
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/20 03:25 PM
8

The more I browse this subreddit, the more I come to the conclusion that heterosexuality was a mistake
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/20 03:52 AM
1

I’m female. I don’t think my standards are particularly high, like there’s certain baseline of physical attractiveness that needs to be met but it’s not like “roided 6ft Chad” or anything. But I guess for me to feel attraction someone has to be engaging or interesting. Which obv isn’t a prerequisite for most men.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/20 03:46 AM
9

Because sexual attraction is a prerequisite for sex but not for friendship?
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/20 03:43 AM
2

Yeah I’ve never gotten this either. There are so few people I’m sexually attracted to that it’s like “I must keep them in my life!”
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/20 03:36 AM
1

By the same token, about 80% of white guys seem to turn into Carl Benjamin once they hit their late 20s.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/20 11:39 PM
0

Never expressed any desire to have kids, said he’d prefer if we didn’t. Men don’t know what they want.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/20 11:22 PM
0

My ex left me for a single mom lol
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/20 11:20 PM
1

That’s been my experience too
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/20 11:18 PM
4

I dunno, I’m thin and FA. And all the overweight women I know are married with kids so 🤷🏻‍♀️
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/20 11:16 PM
1

You usually have to be Stacy to make up for it though. And connecting is a pretty crucial part of dating. If a man thinks you’re attractive but feels no connection they’ll just pump & dump (or if they’re a gentleman, just not contact you again).
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/20 10:26 PM
1

Yup haha I have a Bachelors and worked in retail for a bit in my 20s and that’s kinda it
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/20 10:20 PM
1

I guess my view is that SMV affects power dynamics and therefore directly impacts the emotional wellbeing of a relationship
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/20 03:17 PM
1

I am scrapping the bottom when it comes to social status tho haha
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/20 03:07 PM
1

-age -mental illness -lack of employment -difficulty connecting with people
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/20 03:06 PM
1

Depends what you consider “regular porn”. From what I can see there’s a lot of amateur, but yeah it’s more varied than you’d typically expect.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/20 03:03 PM
3

I genuinely love it if I’m really into the person. Whenever my ex called me his little whore or made pervy comments about my body... yeah that did it for me lol (yes these examples aren’t nearly as wholesome as yours lol) Though of course if a random guy said those things I’d call the police 👀
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/20 02:56 PM
1

I’m very towards the bottom haha 😪
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/20 12:38 PM
1

Never said he didn’t make me happy. Looks were only one part of it, he was also intelligent, engaging, funny and creative. I really enjoyed his company, at least during the first years of our relationship. He could be very sweet, caring and affectionate also. All of this is why his social status didn’t matter too much to me, also since we were both still young I assumed financial stability and all that would come in time. And regardless, SMV isn’t about what’s fair or ethical, it’s just about ob…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/20 10:54 AM
1

He’s never been particularly concerned with getting women, since they tend to come to him. As is generally the case with Chads I’ve noticed. Only average to below average guys have to worry about having game and pursuing potential partners. And even though his financial, social and mental health situation isn’t great, he does have creative hobbies that he invests a lot of time and energy into.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/20 10:32 AM
2

I luckily am very attracted to older men and there are some I have awesome conversation with. But most high-value older men are married/partnered and wouldn’t even entertain the idea of anything beyond flirting.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/20 04:52 AM
1

Solution: date someone religious. I know women who are still virgins and waiting for marriage and struggle with modern dating because of it.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/20 02:42 AM
2

As a low-value 30 yo female, good sex isn’t really on the table for me anymore and what I’m seeking is emotional support and security. Otherwise good points though!
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/20 01:52 AM
2

This is true haha. Karens almost always look bad. I’m certainly not implying that hot people= mean and ugly people= nice. More that hot people are aware that they have options and therefore will typically invest less into their relationships. It’s not necessarily intentional I think.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/20 01:36 AM
1

Well the way I determined his SMV is his dating history versus mine. He gets hit on very frequently and got into a new relationship pretty much the moment we broke up. He had a great-looking ex. He knows he doesn’t have to invest much into self-improvement since women will always be after him regardless (at least until he hits the proverbial Wall). Whereas I’ve been single for six months and had no partners prior to him. It’s just observing how things have played out.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/20 01:33 AM
1

Three years is still a relationship in its infancy. Everyone is on their best behaviour. It wasn’t until at least the fourth year things started to go downhill for me. Living together brings out a lot of toxic traits. The way I see it, dates mean nothing as dates are a mutually enjoyable experience - and men like throwing around money because it makes them feel powerful. Sugar daddies will take escorts out on lavish dates. It’s whether someone is willing to do the less fun things like wash the d…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/20 01:23 AM
1

Oh I get that. Just that men who possess those qualities are rarely physically attractive, at least in my experience. You can have a guy who’s generally nice, non-aggressive and identifies as a feminist, but still won’t be terribly emotionally accessible. People who are outwardly vulnerable (men and women) are usually like that due to insecurity.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/20 01:09 AM
1

Unhappiness is inevitable regardless
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/20 12:46 AM
1

Even that doesn’t say much. My bf was the same initially. Men like to court and woo with dates.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/07/20 04:11 PM
3

In my defence it’s 2am here
/r/PurplePillDebate21/07/20 04:02 PM
2

It’s not that crazy. XD Two people like each other, get along and enjoying having sex so an LTR seems like the next logical step.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/07/20 03:44 PM
1

I think it’s more of a subconscious process.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/07/20 03:07 PM
2

I guess I mean ‘down’ in terms of looks/sex appeal. My last bf was unemployed and living at home when we met. Then working in a warehouse living from paycheck to paycheck with a drinking problem. But he was physically attractive and charismatic and therefore the higher value partner (also I’m chronically unemployed so anything is ‘up’ for me in terms of social status lol).
/r/PurplePillDebate21/07/20 03:05 PM
2

Yeah that actually makes a lot of sense
/r/PurplePillDebate21/07/20 02:53 PM
2

Absolutely!
/r/PurplePillDebate21/07/20 02:25 PM
1

Well I’ve only been in one relationship, but I’ve had a pretty wide spectrum of dudes hit on me (as have most women).
/r/PurplePillDebate21/07/20 12:48 PM
2

They’re engaged and no, it’s a monogamous relationship
/r/PurplePillDebate21/07/20 12:31 PM
1

Interesting and does make sense
/r/PurplePillDebate21/07/20 10:22 AM
1

He did say a lot of negative things about me in private to his friends, though relating to my personality rather than my looks I believe. Usually when he said something positive, it was sex-related.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/07/20 09:55 AM
2

I’ve known average to below average guys that acted like Alphas - but never a Beta that was cute.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/07/20 09:48 AM
4

I know a couple that were FWBs and have now been together a decade
/r/PurplePillDebate21/07/20 09:19 AM
5

Yeah my friend was originally FWBs with her partner and they’ve been together a decade now. Same thing with my ex and his new gf. People saying otherwise are kinda in that 1950s mindset.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/07/20 09:18 AM
1

Who would have thought religion had the right idea all along lol
/r/PurplePillDebate21/07/20 09:07 AM
1

I’m sorry to hear that, I’m glad you found someone better
/r/PurplePillDebate21/07/20 09:05 AM
1

How do you know what your level is tho?
/r/PurplePillDebate21/07/20 09:04 AM
1

I definitely wouldn’t want to be with someone I’m crazy in love with (if I’m even capable of feeling that emotion again). Love makes a person do pathetic and stupid things.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/07/20 08:11 AM
3

Men can be full of shit tho lol. My ex was always raving on about how “beautiful” and “hot” he found me, both privately and publicly. It was flattering but I never took it seriously - I always saw it as a means of trying to flatter me or be like “aren’t I a great bf?” In reality he invested very little in the relationship. Something to be mindful of is that it’s the actions, and not words or gestures, that reveal the level of interest and determine the power dynamic.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/07/20 07:07 AM
2

That’s an interesting point actually. Women have traditionally HAD to be marry up for the sake of their own survival and welfare so it makes sense. I’m from a middle-class background and my ex working class and my family did the whole disapproval thing too lol. He was definitely above me in terms of looks though.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/07/20 06:59 AM
2

That’s true, it can be subjective to some extent. I honestly feel nothing looking at 20 yo male models, but go into fangirl mode over “weird looking” guys like Benedict Cumberbatch or Adam Driver. Though average or even weird looking guys can still have Chad Energy and be successful with women. I knew a guy who was 5’5, on the thin side, facially average, total nerd - yet me and a number of other women/men were infatuated with him. And it’s cause he was highly intelligent, interesting, assertive…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/07/20 06:52 AM
3

Yeah that’s exactly the problem. It’d be nice if these instincts didn’t exist.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/07/20 06:21 AM
3

I guess the problem is not really knowing what my “looksmatch” is. Like when the average woman is hit on by guys all across the looks spectrum (from hypergamous incels to Chads seeking validation and easy lays), how do you even determine it? Also I’m glad you’re setting clear boundaries in your relationship, that sounds very healthy.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/07/20 06:16 AM
9

Man life is kinda awful lmao
/r/PurplePillDebate21/07/20 05:31 AM
1

I know plenty of couples irl where the woman is considerably better looking than the guy, and the guy is just working or middle-class. Don’t look at magazines as an example of real life.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/07/20 03:59 AM
2

Thankyou!
/r/PurplePillDebate20/07/20 11:24 AM
1

I dunno my experience is that the “glow up” narrative doesn’t really apply to real life. Often in these movies you can tell the girl is hot before the makeover, just in a more lowkey way. They even parody this trope in Not Another Teen Movie.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/07/20 10:21 AM
2

The guy I’m coveting now is a lot older, more extroverted and pretty social media illiterate, so that’s the direction I’m wanting to head in lol
/r/PurplePillDebate20/07/20 02:30 AM
1

I doubt it haha. I’m 30 now and not very high value, so I’m not expecting any miracles.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/07/20 02:20 AM
1

You don’t even know what kinda men I go for lol
/r/PurplePillDebate19/07/20 04:23 PM
5

This is kinda why I wanna get with an older man. Not only are they more emotionally and financially stable so I won’t have to “build them up”, but I also won’t have to worry so much about aging since I’ll always be the more attractive partner by default. It’s my strategy anyway lol.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/07/20 04:18 PM
5

And by “women” you mean “GigaStacy who won’t notice me”, right? Average looking women date average looking men. That’s the way it’s always been.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/07/20 04:12 PM
0

Thankyou
/r/PurplePillDebate19/07/20 04:11 PM
5

Another day, another insane take
/r/PurplePillDebate19/07/20 04:09 PM
1

Can someone tell me whether I’m aiming out of my league also? I’m curious...
/r/PurplePillDebate19/07/20 11:04 AM
1

People are still having big families in some of the poorest places in the world, that really says everything
/r/PurplePillDebate19/07/20 10:20 AM
2

Indeed. I used to have a more romantic outlook on things and believe in that “just find the right person” crap but my breakup has made me super cynical and realise that it’s all a game really. So at least wanna know the rules.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/07/20 09:55 AM
1

For me men are the gatekeepers of both lol
/r/PurplePillDebate19/07/20 02:25 AM
1

I’m pretty sure us all just being undesirable is the cause of that. These copes are getting weirder by the day. At no time in human history has poverty ever stopped people fucking, if anything it has the opposite effect.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/07/20 02:23 AM
2

Prob the most helpful and nuanced answer here. And yeah I agree re FDS.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/07/20 09:58 AM
1

For me it’s on the sidebar: “Categories> Popular with Women”
/r/PurplePillDebate18/07/20 07:32 AM
2

I dunno, same reason lots of men watch POV blowjob vids i guess. To try and imagine it’s happening to them.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/07/20 07:30 AM
2

Getting into a relationship or at least getting positive responses and feeling like I have options.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/07/20 05:52 AM
3

I’ve tried meeting new people and it hasn’t worked out but I appreciate the kind words.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/07/20 05:47 AM
1

I will add that I have some feminine traits. I’m emotionally expressive (at least when I feel comfortable around someone), I like cute things, I try to be polite and respectful of others. I’m not terribly assertive or competitive. I don’t drink and don’t belch around other people if I can help it. So I’m like a dude but a sensitive nerdy beta dude if that makes sense lol
/r/PurplePillDebate17/07/20 08:19 PM
1

Yep
/r/PurplePillDebate17/07/20 08:04 PM
2

You said being basic and being feminine were different things, and I responded there’s often a relationship between the two - since “basicness” is essentially conformity. Well I wouldn’t say I’m blunt. I try to be polite and kind to others. I am very honest though. Not in the sense of telling other people what’s wrong with them, but in the sense of being honest about myself and speaking frankly about all kinds of topics. Like I can’t be bothered to make up stuff about my life to try and make it …
/r/PurplePillDebate17/07/20 08:02 PM
3

Well the average woman for one puts in a lot more effort than the average man and that tends to make them more attractive by default
/r/PurplePillDebate17/07/20 07:52 PM
2

It’s true from what I can see 🤷🏻‍♀️
/r/PurplePillDebate17/07/20 07:50 PM
2

Yeah all the guys I knew anyhow, including the ones I had unrequited crushes on. And a lot of her fanboys online gushed about her being “so cool and not like the other girls” lol
/r/PurplePillDebate17/07/20 07:49 PM
2

I don’t act coldly but I can be slightly vulgar I suppose. I don’t know what “man-like” mannerisms are. I don’t sit with my legs apart. And I never said that being feminine is inherently a bad thing. I’m not out to police anyone’s gender expression. You asked about the relationship between femininity and conformity and I answered. Honestly thinking my love life might improve if I become a gay trans man lol
/r/PurplePillDebate17/07/20 07:41 PM
0

No
/r/PurplePillDebate17/07/20 07:14 PM
2

Or do they ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) But yeah I guess I’m just disputing the idea that I’m masculine in the “self-sufficient” sense. I very much need a man lol
/r/PurplePillDebate17/07/20 07:01 PM
3

I’m 30 and none of that worked during my 20s.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/07/20 06:57 PM
0

What’s that?
/r/PurplePillDebate17/07/20 06:18 PM
6

Exactly. Like I said, I’m at a loss.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/07/20 06:13 PM
0

Some of us don’t have many offers lol
/r/PurplePillDebate17/07/20 06:10 PM
3

Problem is most women are pretty and nice so what’s gonna make you stand out? XD
/r/PurplePillDebate17/07/20 06:09 PM
2

I’m unemployed and have anxiety so I’d make a pretty shitty “man” lol. I mean I’m masculine in the sense of how I relate with others socially.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/07/20 06:06 PM
1

That’s fair
/r/PurplePillDebate17/07/20 06:01 PM
5

I love how the women here are giving me constructive advice and the men are either ranting about Chad or being like “maybe you’re ugly?” (Patrick voice)
/r/PurplePillDebate17/07/20 05:58 PM
3

Asians are pretty diverse tho
/r/PurplePillDebate17/07/20 05:34 PM
3

All those women are definitely Becky to Stacy tier. #3 especially is a straight up knockout. Your standards may be a little high tbh. You’d have to at least work on your charisma/personality a bit.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/07/20 05:27 PM
3

Regardless, discounting an entire race of people is definitely having high standards.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/07/20 05:21 PM
3

Femininity is a performance though, just like masculinity is, and thus requires some degree of conformity to gendered social expectations. The most masculine men tend to be the most basic (cars, beer, shitty action movies etc) and the same goes for the most feminine women. Or at least that’s my experience. I suppose it depends on how you define femininity though? Re arrogance I see a lot of women called arrogant on Reddit simply for having standards in men or knowing that they’re attractive.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/07/20 05:18 PM
3

I’m Australian and yellow fever is a huge thing here among Chads and Cels alike.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/07/20 05:03 PM
3

I’m lost
/r/PurplePillDebate17/07/20 05:00 PM
2

Gotta say you’re literally the first white guy I’ve seen say “I don’t like Asians”. Most dudes go nuts for Asians. Which tells me your standards are high.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/07/20 04:57 PM
2

Glad someone is feeling my vibe here XD
/r/PurplePillDebate17/07/20 04:52 PM
2

I dunno, Ellen Page is pretty darn butch, especially in Juno, and I remember every guy wanting to bang her back in the day. But you’re prob right.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/07/20 04:30 PM
1

I’m kinda anti dating apps, maybe if I get really desperate XD
/r/PurplePillDebate17/07/20 03:25 PM
2

Softmaxx is looksmaxxing through makeup, hair, skincare, exercise etc. Hardmaxx is stuff like fillers, surgery etc
/r/PurplePillDebate17/07/20 03:20 PM
1

The app itself yes, but you have to pay like $50 per month to access your likes/messages, at least in Aus
/r/PurplePillDebate17/07/20 03:19 PM
2

I like men that are intelligent, creative, kind and have a bit of eccentricity/‘weirdness’ to them. Someone who has an open mind and that I can have good conversations with about all kinds of topics. Wouldn’t go for anyone right wing or religious. I quite like older men too.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/07/20 03:10 PM
1

Hmm maybe. A lot of them have them in the same relationship since their teens/early 20s tho.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/07/20 02:35 PM
5

All my friends are 30 yos in LTRs so there isn’t really a “ho” in my social circles. XD The men I pursue aren’t exactly Chads either, though my ex was a Chadlite and I was surprised that he went for me when less attractive guys didn’t. He had mental health issues though so there’s that. Also re femininity I’m more saying what I’ve observed online. That “basic girly stuff” like romcoms and pop music tend to judged as inherently shallow and indicative of stupidity. And feminine traits like being m…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/07/20 02:33 PM
1

I have many happily married friends of both genders.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/07/20 02:07 PM
3

True
/r/PurplePillDebate17/07/20 02:05 PM
1

Tinder is expensive and I find the whole concept kinda tragic. Most people who are desirable can easily find a match within their social/work circles. Also if there’s a problem with my personality then tinder isn’t gonna fix that. It might get me a few dates but won’t address the underlying issue.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/07/20 02:04 PM
0

And yeah it’s about getting the kinds of men I like (smart, creative, kind) to reciprocate, not so much about just getting any kind of attention
/r/PurplePillDebate17/07/20 02:00 PM
0

Well as I’ve said, I’ve experimented with different looks, softmaxxed etc and it doesn’t really make a difference.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/07/20 01:58 PM
2

Already do all those things lol. If anything I get more attention when I’m a stone cold bitch.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/07/20 01:49 PM
5

Dude I didn’t lose my virginity until I was 21. Mind you I’m 30 now and FA so maybe I’m not the best person to take notes from lol Also I don’t think betabuxxing is an actual thing, my friends are very in love with their partners (who aren’t rich by any means). Most women work full-time now and are delaying having kids, so there’s simply no need to betabuxx in this day and age.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/07/20 01:45 PM
5

You look young. How old are you? I know a lot of people who didn’t lose their virginity til their early-mid 20s who are now in LTRs.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/07/20 01:40 PM
4

You don’t look bad at all lol
/r/PurplePillDebate17/07/20 01:38 PM
1

Haha I guess I discuss porn pretty casually with a lot of friends so I don’t see it as a big deal, but you’re right I should tone that down. Also with touching I get paranoid that it’ll come off as rapey. I once asked a guy for a hug and the look of fear on his face. 😶
/r/PurplePillDebate17/07/20 01:37 PM
3

I wish I knew those buttons 😭
/r/PurplePillDebate17/07/20 01:24 PM
1

...interesting advice XD
/r/PurplePillDebate17/07/20 01:23 PM
1

Not explicitly, I don’t think. I might compliment them (not in a “ooooh you’re sexy” kinda way but maybe comment on their shirt or tell them they’re smart/interesting/creative) and indicate that I’d like to talk/catch up more. I also have a tendency to smile/laugh/joke a lot around someone I like. Maybe talk about sexual things more (but in the abstract like “I saw this porn the other day...”). I don’t touch them physically, but I do find myself both consciously and unconsciously entering their …
/r/PurplePillDebate17/07/20 01:17 PM
2

Often my experience is that a guy will start being talkative and friendly, we’ll have pleasant conversation and develop banter, then he’ll somehow catch on that I’m developing interest and start ghosting me. This is without sex or anything of that nature occurring.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/07/20 01:01 PM
3

Tried that back in the day and never again XD
/r/PurplePillDebate17/07/20 12:53 PM
1

I agree but what counts as personality game? 🤔
/r/PurplePillDebate17/07/20 12:53 PM
2

I used to think it was but I’ve been told by a number of people here I look ok so shrug Also I see plenty of unattractive women in LTRs. I’m not particularly feminine I’ll admit, at least not in behaviour (which is why I have more male friends)
/r/PurplePillDebate17/07/20 12:43 PM
2

I’m not talking being picked up at a bar by a horny random though, I’m wondering how to get noticed by friends/acquaintances/colleagues
/r/PurplePillDebate17/07/20 12:37 PM
2

Coulda just said that without several bizarre generalizations in the process lol
/r/PurplePillDebate17/07/20 09:59 AM
1

Not necessarily bfs or exes, but I do tend to fantasize about people I know and interact with (friends, colleagues, acquaintances) rather than randoms on the street or Insta. Or celebrities/fictional characters work too. To assume women are all having sex with their exes and only fantasize about men they’ve been with is a pretty big exaggeration.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/07/20 09:36 AM
1

Plenty of men rarely watch porn and plenty of women never use sex toys (I don’t). People are different.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/07/20 09:21 AM
1

Why would I want a million exes lol
/r/PurplePillDebate17/07/20 09:16 AM
1

The guy literally said “please don’t send me nudes” and would get creeped out if I even complimented him. Yeah I’m sure he was attracted to me at some point, but things change and a lot of people have a rule about sex with exes. I’m a single woman and horny af I just don’t simp over random men because it’s cringe. Also you have to take into account women have less to gain from being promiscuous because a) the sexual assault/unwanted pregnancy risk; and b) it could damage their reputation.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/07/20 08:17 AM
1

“Single women are not” Citation needed. Also I’m pretty sure my ex would rather stick glass shards in his eyes than fuck me. You have a bizarre concept of the female experience.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/07/20 07:48 AM
2

Also the hotter the guy, the bigger chance of rejection so I just don’t go there. Too self-aware I guess.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/07/20 07:35 AM
1

I only started masturbating in my 20s so it’s something I had to learn to do gradually. I’d get aroused by people I was attracted to but fapping over them didn’t work. Only time it worked was during the honeymoon phase of my ex relationship, where I knew the lust was mutual and sex was a very real possibility. Empty-headed fapping is good, I recommend.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/07/20 04:29 AM
2

Also sometimes I actively try to avoid thinking about men I’m attracted to - either I’ll remember that the fantasy will never be realized and get depressed, or I’ll remember something really dumb I said in front of them and it’ll come careering through my mind like a car crash and kill my boner. Sometimes an empty-headed fap is just easier mentally and emotionally.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/07/20 03:20 AM
1

What about blowjobs? They’re an extremely popular category in porn yet feature the guy in a passive role.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/07/20 03:08 AM
1

Yeah I don’t watch it for that reason, but other women seem to enjoy it
/r/PurplePillDebate16/07/20 04:30 PM
11

A lot of the sex in porn doesn’t even look pleasurable though, I cringe when they hock spit into vaginas then rub it like they’re trying to get a stain off their tiles. Also I don’t look like the women in mainstream porn (nor do the majority of women) so its hard to identify with them. I do understand arousal for arousal’s sake though.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/07/20 03:50 PM
7

As a woman who watches porn, there’s definitely some content I enjoy but I do have to look a little harder for it. Pornhub actually has a “most liked by female viewers” section and a lot of it tends to be amateur or cunnilingus-heavy vids. And you’re right that fanfiction is a slow burn and part of the appeal is having established three-dimensional characters to work with. It’s still definitely a form of porn though imo. A lot of fics are just paragraphs of explicit sex with no story, presumably…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/07/20 03:18 PM
19

You don’t know that because barely any porn caters to women - most of it is shot from a male perspective and focuses on the female performer’s face/body/reactions. How would that appeal to hetero women? Even so, a look at pornhub statistics will tell you a sizeable amount of women watch it and anecdotally I can say most women I know do. Also the abundance of erotic fanfiction/fanart wouldn’t exist without horny fangirls.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/07/20 02:40 PM
19

Lots of women enjoy porn and erotica, their tastes and preferences just tend to differ to what men enjoy.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/07/20 02:22 PM
13

I think men are generally more visual than women. If I see a good-looking guy I’ll acknowledge to myself that he’s good looking, but I don’t feel any differently to when I see a good-looking woman. Visuals alone don’t cause any kind of initial arousal response.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/07/20 02:18 PM
2

I don’t care about other people’s relationships tbh, we don’t know the specifics of their marriage and whether they had an open relationship or not. But yes, men cheat all the time too, and with younger women. I’m really not sure what point you’re trying to make. Also I used those examples because they contain what you could consider “grooming” which is what people are accusing Jada of (and I’d be inclined to agree).
/r/PurplePillDebate16/07/20 02:24 AM
3

As individuals - yes. There are many men in my life I care deeply for. I enjoy socializing with men. But there are certain “types” I guess you could say I avoid. I used to be sympathetic to MRAs, now I have no time for them.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/07/20 02:17 AM
3

Completely agree. Humans are social creatures and have an innate desire for companionship, as well as the urge to have sex/reproduce (unless you’re asexual I guess). And now that we live in very isolated societies with no community life, where (at least in Western culture) its normal to ignore or cut off siblings, aunts, uncles, cousins, elderly parents etc, those needs are likely magnified. Emotional and physical intimacy imo is as imperative to our mental health as food and shelter are to phys…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/07/20 11:35 AM
2

Oh I didn’t actually know what CMV meant
/r/PurplePillDebate15/07/20 11:33 AM
2

Huh?
/r/PurplePillDebate15/07/20 11:32 AM
11

Jerry Seinfeld dated a 17 yr old in his late 30s. Leo DiCaprio is currently with a woman that he’s known since she was a child (and he an adult). Woody Allen is married to his step daughter. All three have been highly successful. Only one that’s been Me Too-ed is Woody and that’s due more to the Dylan Farrow allegations than his relationship. Not to mention all the rock stars who slept with underage groupies and no one bats an eye. I could go on.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/07/20 10:08 AM
1

It’s pretty much a brazzers scenario come to life “sex with best friend’s mom”. Poor Jaden.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/07/20 10:01 AM
2

My experience is that men are more deceitful. I think women tend to tell more white lies because they’ve been socialized to be polite, but are generally honest with their feelings in relationships. Men tend to lie about major things.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/07/20 08:08 PM
1

My partner left me for a single mom so who knows
/r/PurplePillDebate10/07/20 06:31 AM
1

I did have a bad habit in the past of thinking people were hitting on me when they were really just being friendly so I try to approach these things cautiously
/r/PurplePillDebate08/07/20 01:34 AM
1

Autism Spectrum Disorder
/r/PurplePillDebate08/07/20 01:28 AM
1

I have ASD so I’m not as adept as reading situations as others my age
/r/PurplePillDebate07/07/20 12:28 PM
1

I’ve spoken to others that have been there when said interactions have taken place and none of them think he’s hitting on me. Apparently my own attraction is quite evident though.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/07/20 11:37 AM
2

Literally every man I know has more sex than me, this is incel propaganda lol
/r/PurplePillDebate07/07/20 07:05 AM
1

Can confirm he is straight. He’s definitely not fashion orientated if that’s what you mean - we tend to joke that he only has two outfits and they’re all thrifted lol.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/07/20 07:07 AM
2

Awesome answer, thankyou!
/r/PurplePillDebate03/07/20 12:15 PM
1

Just lack of opportunity I guess
/r/PurplePillDebate02/07/20 11:03 PM
1

I have several
/r/PurplePillDebate02/07/20 07:19 PM
1

I have noticed he tends to sit/stand very close to me. And also lots of sidelong glances and smirking.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/07/20 03:20 PM
2

I mean his job involves talking to others unprompted...
/r/PurplePillDebate01/07/20 03:07 PM
2

Lmao I found the vid and had a good laugh. It is making me rethink a lot of daily experiences 😶
/r/PurplePillDebate01/07/20 03:05 PM
1

He’s definitely a bit casual and playful around everyone, though he tones it down considerably around supervisors I’ve noticed
/r/PurplePillDebate01/07/20 03:02 PM
2

Well they aren’t exactly attainable lol
/r/PurplePillDebate01/07/20 10:13 AM
2

Sadly yes lol
/r/PurplePillDebate01/07/20 10:11 AM
1

He’s not a coworker. Also it’s a very relaxed environment in his defence. Conversations frequently veer to things like sex, drugs, relationships etc.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/07/20 12:25 AM
2

Once a month would be a shitload for me, I’m female and go years without. Even during my early 20s “party days” I had sex maybe 2-3 times a year max.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/20 03:29 AM
2

A lot of men here are acting disillusioned, but I can guarantee if the dynamics were flipped they’d do the same haha. There’s a reason the Madonnas and Chers of the world have fresh-faced trophy bfs.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/06/20 12:48 PM
1

Can confirm I’m both
/r/PurplePillDebate29/06/20 09:10 AM
2

It’s honestly partly cause I’m terrible at saying no and that little voice that says “who are you to turn anyone down goddamn nerd??” And sometimes I just like the social interaction even if I have no intent of taking it further.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/06/20 09:03 AM
3

Lost my virginity at 21, slept with about four people between the ages of 21 and 23, five if oral counts. They were all underwhelming drunken hook-ups that were basically for validation since I couldn’t get a bf. Got my first bf at 23 and was with him for seven years. Haven’t been with anyone since. So six in total.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/06/20 08:55 AM
1

My friends have seen him and don’t get it, but another older woman I know finds him attractive. So I dunno.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/06/20 03:53 AM
9

...yes
/r/PurplePillDebate28/06/20 04:54 PM
2

We maintain eye contact while talking, and sometimes if there’s a group of us sitting/standing around we’ll make eye contact across the room.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/06/20 03:57 PM
1

And yeah I wasn’t sure what particular word to use to describe it
/r/PurplePillDebate28/06/20 11:38 AM
1

Not a mental health ward, transitional accommodation staffed by social workers
/r/PurplePillDebate28/06/20 11:38 AM
2

Thanks! He is indeed laidback and jovial with everyone, though I haven’t seen him compliment/comment on another woman’s appearance.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/06/20 09:59 AM
2

I’m far from underage so that’s stretching it. I guess you could say the comments are infantilizing, which is why I wasn’t sure if they were sexual or not. I do have daddy issues admittedly haha.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/06/20 07:59 AM
1

It’s not a sales-based career “Client” might not describe it correctly, but I wasn’t sure what other word to use
/r/PurplePillDebate28/06/20 06:09 AM
1

I definitely like him, a lot
/r/PurplePillDebate28/06/20 04:45 AM
2

Shit I just realised the amount of typos in the title lol oh well
/r/PurplePillDebate28/06/20 04:04 AM
1

Cheers
/r/PurplePillDebate28/06/20 03:55 AM
1

What would be a better sub?
/r/PurplePillDebate28/06/20 03:51 AM
1

I don’t know if he looks/stares tbh, I have ASD so I’m not the best at reading body language. We do make eye contact pretty frequently. As for teasing, we have kind of playful dynamic so we both tease each other. And man I wish lol
/r/PurplePillDebate28/06/20 01:44 AM
3

Yuppppp
/r/PurplePillDebate18/06/20 11:18 PM
1

As a woman - definitely. A man who is kind not only makes you feel safe but can sometimes be intriguing as you want to bring out their dark/lustful side (I guess similar to the “lady on the streets/freak in the sheets” kink guys often have). Bookish, soft-spoken older men are pretty much my kryptonite.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/06/20 11:12 PM
1

I’m far from fat and have no kids but I experienced DB. In my case it was conflicting schedules and both of us being tired and grumpy from adult responsibilities. Once you start living together as a couple everyday life gets in the way and you spend more time talking about grocery lists than how hot you find each other. I’ve heard a lot of men crave sexual novelty and variety too, which is probably why you see men cheating on attractive partners with less attractive women. Porn addiction I imagi…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/05/20 08:11 AM
1

Not necessarily, I often find overly persistent men a turn-off and aloof men to be arousing (and before you say anything, no that hasn’t turned out well for me lol). Having said that, feeling desirable does play a role in the act of sex for me. When I was in a relationship I felt way more “in the mood” if I looked nice versus if we were just hanging out in our pjs. In a way dressing up and going out on a date was like foreplay for me. My partner found it frustrating as he was always in the mood …
/r/PurplePillDebate16/05/20 08:02 AM
2

Oh I’m not saying these pairings don’t exist irl. Just refuting TRP idea that all women are attracted to older.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/05/20 02:25 PM
5

I don’t want to confirm the stereotype that this is a common thing. I just have daddy issues lmao
/r/PurplePillDebate07/05/20 12:23 PM
2

Where did you hear that men are disposable to women? High value men (intelligent, sensitive, good-looking, financially stable) are certainly not. And not all women are drowning in male attention. Most het relationships still end because of men. They approach relationships selfishly (“how do I benefit from this”) while women are socialized to nurture and help their partners become their best selves. Statistically men are more likely to cheat or to leave women in times of hardship (such as an illn…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/04/20 03:44 AM
1

It’s not about loneliness. I see plenty of orbiters who are attached or married.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/12/19 03:40 PM
1

I’m at a healthy weight, in my 20s, not deformed yet have been rejected many, many times. As I go about my day I don’t encounter any flirting, staring or anything of that nature. I mean sure - if I walked into a bar and really put myself out there I could likely get laid without much effort. There’s a certain percentage of men that will fuck anything. But usually those men aren’t high value and don’t represent all or even most men. Also being fuckable is different to being attractive - men won’t…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/12/19 03:23 PM
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