RoutineHuckleberry82 Archive

Upvotes	Title	Category	Author	Subreddit	Date (UTC)

Upvotes	Comment on	Subreddit	Date (UTC)
2	How long did you wait after your divorce to start dating again? And how long is too soon? Mine is still frech and i realized I don’t even know what I want for myself, let alone in a new partner. I am totally open to meeting new people, but I can’t be responsible for someone else’s heart right now.	/r/Divorce_Men	27/07/26 08:40 PM
5	Can I turn this around or am I kidding myself? Your comment about going all out, is something to watch out for, because you need to think about sustainability for yourself. I appreciate wanting to save your marriage, but you also shouldn’t try to be something you aren’t. That’s not to say that you shouldn’t change if you want to. It’s just the way you worded that, it sounds like love bombing, but at the end of a relationship. Too much too fast can be unsustainable for you, which can result in a drop off and her being disappointed, or none of…	/r/Divorce_Men	08/07/26 07:56 AM
6	It is so hard to be the asshole... Words matter here and you are not an asshole and shouldn’t say that to yourself. It’s important that you don’t act like an asshole either for this to also be true 😀 I went through a similar phase and provided my STBX with a budget and initially over committed to her financially, but then pulled some of it back, because I realized I was still looking through my old caretaker lens and putting myself last. I will say that making sure you have clear boundaries set for yourself helps a lot with movin…	/r/Divorce_Men	08/07/26 05:44 AM
3	I may be the biggest idiot but I decided to stay in my step kids lives I just wanted to reframe your last sentence there. You already said you are not involved with your ex, so that strikes the cuck comment right off the bat. Maintaining a bond and help raising strong healthy kids is the job. You should be proud of yourself for having the strength and courage to continue doing it no matter the circumstances. Life is messy and showing up for those boys as a real man will have a huge impact on who they become. Keep going sir and thanks for representing good dads ever…	/r/Divorce_Men	08/07/26 04:10 AM
8	Im struggling to keep fighting. My ex wife left and put me down so much yet I hold on for my son but loosing my battle. Sorry to hear that you are going through this. We are all in different phases of this, but it does get better and there will be many ups and downs. I don’t know all the details of your situation, but if I can offer some advice. It sounds like you are spiraling here, so it is important that you get control of your mind as a first step, because the only thing you can control is your actions. Just slow down, breathe, start writing down what you want at the end of this and work toward those goals. I…	/r/Divorce_Men	05/07/26 07:34 AM
2	Co-parenting with an ex who has moved on while I’m still grieving. Yeah, I had to dig pretty deep for my daughter, because she needs both of her parents to be happy and healthy. I told my STBX, that if it wasn’t for our daughter, I would have set everything on fire and skipped town 😀 Setting boundaries feels weird at first and my first tries came out pretty angrily, but eventually, anytime she crossed a boundary I didn’t realize I wanted or needed, I followed up with her to let her know that was no off limits going forward. Today is a good example, she is movin…	/r/Divorce_Men	24/06/26 06:50 PM
3	Co-parenting with an ex who has moved on while I’m still grieving. I am in a similar situation. Uncoupling is hard work. Even though I don’t miss the bad things, I still miss my old identity. An important thing for me is setting boundaries. I am only willing to talk about our kid and coparenting. I don’t want to know anything else and am not willing to share anything else, no matter how much I want to. Her family even reaches out and I tell them thank you, but at least for right now I can’t. I am the only thing I can control and everything going forward will be…	/r/Divorce_Men	24/06/26 06:26 PM
2	First date connection If I learned anything from my failed marriage, it is that not being honest with myself or my partner leads to nowhere good. Don’t over think things and don’t hide your feelings from yourself or her. Just take it easy and enjoy your time together and let things happen as they do. If you stay true to yourself she will either want to continue or not. In other words, don’t try to be yourself, just be yourself.	/r/Divorce_Men	31/05/26 01:18 PM
1	I posted a couple days ago that I could only feel anger, well the sadness has hit and it’s so much worse I hear you and have been, still kinda am, there. Something I realized for myself at least, is that I am not right back where I started 16 years ago. Everything else I have done and accomplished is still there. My marriage is all that is gone. That’s not to say it is a huge loss, but it isn’t everything. Feel your feelings, because you have every right to each one of them. I spend a lot of time sitting next to a river and starting to journal and therapy were my first big steps forward in my reboo…	/r/Divorce_Men	31/05/26 11:43 AM
5	Shifting processing I am I a similar situation. I have been reading, in therapy, reflecting, journaling, and exercising to burn off stress. I did enough digging to find out she was seeing someone else and then stopped, because there is no coming back from that for me. Not that she would want to, but at that point, and really always, I can only control what I say and do. I got hit with, I am not sure I ever loved you (for 17 years) She just feels sorry for me, because she has built a nice life for herself and I only…	/r/Divorce_Men	07/05/26 05:08 PM
3	Worthlessness Lean into that rain and get out there anyway. I was on a bike ride and got caught in the rain. I stopped for a FML reflection and then realized that rain increases our sense of smell, so I just sat there and for the first time in a long time, just felt my senses. I use that moment now when I need centering because it is my moment and no one can take it from me. I have failed in the past as well. We can’t change that, but we can put distance between our current past and our future past by showing…	/r/Divorce_Men	02/05/26 01:55 PM
4	How much responsibility do you bear for your divorce? +1	/r/Divorce_Men	30/04/26 08:09 PM
3	Death by a thousand cuts Yeah man, thanks for writing this. I should have started therapy sooner myself and I’ve been reflecting over my past 17 year relationship (12 married). Just because I wasn’t bad, didn’t make me automatically good. I have learned a ton in the past few months, but it’s too little too late for us. Now it’s time to pour all of my energy into myself and my kid.	/r/Divorce_Men	28/04/26 11:10 AM