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Routine_Bee9663 Archive

View 0 posts and 43 comments by Routine_Bee9663 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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2

Thank you my friend. I’m sorry to hear about your marriage. I’m aware of the risk. But I think I want to see where this goes. If there’s no hope it will show in the quality of our relationship over time. If this was just a one time mistake ( her words ) then that will also show in her behavior over time. Right now I’m focused on myself and the kids , not the marriage .
/r/Divorce_Men30/07/26 02:16 AM
1

My self respect isn’t based on whether someone else behaves with dignity and integrity or not. Her actions are her responsibility. My job is to work on myself and observe reality and act if necessary
/r/Divorce_Men30/07/26 02:14 AM
1

Thank you for your advice but human beings are messier than internet slogans. Could you be right? It’s possible . Could you be wrong ? Also possible. I’m going to find out over time anyway. And I’m ok with either result. I won’t lose myself
/r/Divorce_Men30/07/26 02:12 AM
2

It’s not red pill . But life is complicated. We have kids. We have a life built together over 24 years. Her family and mine are intertwined. It’s not something you throw away without trying. And that’s what we are doing. Trying. Doesn’t mean it will work out. It’s still might not. That’s a risk I’m taking
/r/Divorce_Men28/07/26 06:04 AM
5

You have honor, my friend. But it was wasted on the wrong person. Also , excessive giving and sacrifice made her take you for granted. I’m so sorry. Go on and grieve and be bitter for a while. But when you heal don’t become an asshole, but don’t go back to being a sacrificial plow horse either. Choose yourself first and then others. Put on your own oxygen mask before you hand it over to anyone else. Check out r/marriedredpill. You and I are in the same boat except I caught the affair early and t…
/r/Divorce_Men28/07/26 04:21 AM
2

Have a tough conversation and tell her to go to counseling and stop. Do this a few times before you give an ultimatum. After that , leave. If she begs you back, make sure she quits drinking. If she doesn’t , leave . She has a drinking problem. Your marriage may not be over. You have to see if her behavior changes for the better when alcohol is out of the picture
/r/Divorce_Men27/07/26 04:00 AM
4

It’s not your fault. You’re being gaslit. If she wanted to work things out she would have. She didn’t. She chose to cheat and take the easy way out. Even after that she could have chosen to work things out . She didn’t and chose to cheat again. You have PTSD. So what . Would you have done that to her if the shoe was on the other foot. I don’t think so. Stop blaming yourself. Grieve. Let go: rebuild your life . Work on yourself. For you. Not for any woman. And one that’s right for you will walk i…
/r/Divorce_Men27/07/26 03:08 AM
1

Dude ! Your girlfriend wants to marry you because you’re her way out. You’re desperate to have her because you feel she’s slipping away so fear has set it. Your wife wants you , and that’s why the excessive alimony demand. She’s making it difficult for you to leave. Wake up and smell reality. If you have issues in your marriage , work it out. The grass isn’t greener on the other side. It’s greener where you water it . How do you know the problems in your marriage aren’t because of your behavior.…
/r/Divorce_Men23/07/26 07:34 AM
2

There’s a possibility there is someone else in the picture. And the timeline of when she met this person should match the instigation of fights by her. If that’s true She’s probably checking to see if she can get some separation/ space from you to see if the other one will work out. If it doesn’t she could then come back saying she wants to try again with you and will do better. If it does, she will probably tell you it’s too let. Don’t be angry at her for this. It’s all probably subconscious. I…
/r/Divorce_Men23/07/26 07:23 AM
1

I understand. It’s not easy. And I wish I could say do this or do that and it will be ok. But grief takes time and suffering. All I can tell you is you will be ok. Life will get better , and you will be happy again. You can’t see that now , and that’s ok. Just let is pass through you. Let all the emotions you feel pass through you. And then one day , before you realize it , you’ll smile again.
/r/Divorce_Men21/07/26 01:50 PM
6

Take your time. You don’t let go. Time passes and one day you will be able to remember without hurting .
/r/Divorce_Men21/07/26 04:44 AM
7

There’s someone else. I know that’s not the answer you want to hear. And she’ll deny it. But there’s someone else
/r/Divorce_Men18/07/26 03:15 AM
6

Im sorry brother. You didn’t deserve this. You deserve better.
/r/Divorce_Men17/07/26 02:51 AM
1

I love sardines!
/r/Divorce_Men16/07/26 07:40 AM
3

Sardines diet ? That sounds interesting. Tell me more
/r/Divorce_Men16/07/26 05:55 AM
5

Wrong question I think. Although a perfectly human question to ask given how you’re feeling. There are 4 pillars in life that every man should strengthen and develop If you are really interested in having a good life and being happy ( and relationships are just a part of that ) . First - Identity- define yourself by your character not your roles or the opinion of people in your life . Figure out your values and do your best to live by them Second - Health. This has three parts - physical(lift we…
/r/Divorce_Men16/07/26 04:47 AM
1

Yeah. I hear you, it’s a tough situation. I wish you well. I really do.
/r/Divorce_Men14/07/26 09:18 AM
1

She’s in the grips of an addiction . She will come out of it in a few months . Whether she will fully come back to you. No one can say that. Sometimes they do and sometimes not. More importantly, the first thing for you is not the relationship, it’s your healing. And you’re going to have to do it without her. My advice : ask her to break all contact with th guy and offer you complete transparency with her phone and stuff for the next few months . If she refuses, dump her. No matter how much it h…
/r/Divorce_Men14/07/26 04:49 AM
1

That’s horrendous. She sounds like a real piece of work. I don’t know how some people can be so cruel. Screw her and her lies. I would say you’ve been liberated from her. Focus on yourself . Be selfish , my friend . In a good way. Take care of your health, your finances . Find some good friends . Love your kids. Your story is gutting . Makes me lose my faith in human nature. I’ve been through some hell in my 20 plus years of my marriage that’s made me disillusioned and question everything. But i…
/r/Divorce_Men06/07/26 02:21 AM
13

Im really sorry. I really am. No one will believe you. No one will care about your side of the story. We are men . Nobody gives a shit. If we choose ourselves , we are selfish entitled bastards. When they do they are following their happiness. The cavalry ain’t coming and no one cares and it’s not fair. It’s more than not fair. It’s brutal. I’m really sorry . I really am. Because I know what you mean. And I know what you’re going through. And I know that no matter how much you’re hurt, no one re…
/r/Divorce_Men05/07/26 12:47 PM
3

Hey man. I’m really sorry for what you’re going through. The tough answer ? No you can’t . It’s over. If reconciliation does happen later it will be a brand new relationship. All I can say is , work on yourself. Get help for your PTSD. Be there for your kid. Work out, meet friends and create a support system. Get another woman(platonic) in your life to lean on temporarily, a mother , sister . Someone like that. Your life isn’t over . This is grief. Unfortunately there’s no short cut for grief . …
/r/Divorce_Men02/07/26 11:39 AM
15

Trust and honor are masculine qualities. Women can have it too, as men and women both have masculine and feminine qualities but we are far more capable of it than they are. They tend to filter things through their emotions. Honor is doing what’s right regardless of how you feel. For a woman, how she feels usually dictates what she thinks is right .
/r/Divorce_Men02/07/26 02:26 AM
2

Im going to do just that. Thanks again, friend. That’s really good advice. It helps to hear from people who have gone through hell but still have somthing positive to say. So much on the internet is negative.
/r/Divorce_Men01/07/26 06:39 PM
4

Thanks , I’ve decide to give it a year and focus on myself and rebuild my life . I will still show up as a good husband but I’m not over performing or giving more than I get . If nothing changes , I’m done . I love her and I’m going to miss her but one sided love isn’t enough to make a marriage work. Heck ! It’s not even enough for a high school romance . Still can’t come to terms with how my life unraveled so quickly for nothing. The universe can be cruel.
/r/Divorce_Men01/07/26 01:58 PM
7

Thank man. That’s good advice . We don’t ask for these things and life throws punches our way. I was told love her, respect her, treat her well. Listen to her . Help out with chores and don’t be a dick. I helped through all sorts of hell and back. Supported her because she wanted to quit and be a mom. Did that for 18 years . Supported her volunteering and activities and social life and she cheated on me with someone she met twice . Told me she found herself with him . Found herself? With someone…
/r/Divorce_Men01/07/26 11:33 AM
4

Yeah! I hear you. I’m not divorced but my marriage is on the rocks . There’s no affection or even indication I’m anything other than someone she lives. Half of me feels like I can’t breathe without her and the other half wants to move on. I feel like she doesn’t care either way. That’s the gutting part. She doesn’t want to save it, and doesn’t want to leave. Content with friends and her life and using her husband for logistics and friendly conversations
/r/Divorce_Men01/07/26 07:51 AM
9

How do you get to that space where you finally accept that she’s not your wife anymore. That seems to me, to be the hardest part of that. You build your life, bet your future on someone and the next month they’re a stranger . How does one come to terms with that psychologically
/r/Divorce_Men01/07/26 07:30 AM
7

How people can blow up their families and the lives of their loved ones for seemingly nothing will never cease to astound and astonish me.
/r/Divorce_Men25/06/26 12:05 PM
6

I disagree with the advice here. You should send her a message. But keep it casual. Something like “ Hey, Happy Birthday. Hope you have a great day “. After you send it , delete it from your phone for you and get on with your day. Don’t spend the day wondering whether she replies or not. You were married to her. You took responsibility for the r break up. Be civil. Wishing someone Happy Birthday who was once an important part of your life is a civil decent thing to do. Be a civil decent man. Not…
/r/Divorce_Men25/06/26 03:36 AM
9

Tell the coach’s wife. She deserves to know
/r/Divorce_Men22/06/26 04:35 PM
6

It’s so crazy. Build a life with someone. Dream dreams and then one day they are strangers. Just like that. It always baffles me. I feel for you man. This is hard.
/r/Divorce_Men18/06/26 06:57 AM
5

You’re right . I hate the stupid Gender wars , but you’re right. The system isn’t fair. I was watching the movie crazy stupid love yesterday and in the beginning of the movie the woman asks for a divorce because she cheated and because “ we married young and are not us anymore “. And guess what ? The dude moves out. Loses kids, the house, the friends. When we are single we men have full lives and then the provider instinct kicks in and we give and give and give . But it’s on the faith that the p…
/r/Divorce_Men17/06/26 04:30 AM
2

It looks like she wants the fantasy of freedom, but the thought scares her. Maybe she doesn’t know what she wants. Take the plunge and serve her papers. Then maybe she will understand what she really wants . If she really wants to leave she will go. If she doesn’t , she will fight for the marriage. Either way, you’re out of this painful limbo. Your life isn’t held hostage to someone’s ambivalence.
/r/Divorce_Men13/06/26 07:46 AM
5

That’s gutting and scary. Not the affair. Which is horrible as it is. But how someone can thrown their life away and destroy everything because they think they’re in love. I read somewhere ( and I’m not sure it’s true ) , that Weber men cheat and are caught they usually can compartmentalize and usually don’t want to blow up their families . When women cheat and are caught they usually convince themselves that their marriages were terrible and have found the one . But then the question remains. H…
/r/Divorce_Men12/06/26 04:29 AM
3

I think you’ve made your decision. You’re probably hesitant because you’re holding on to hope . There’s none , my friend . Let her go
/r/Divorce_Men11/06/26 06:33 AM
1

I think it is. I feel for you. I think family is the most important thing in the word. People say marriages are hard. But all relationships are hard including the ones we have with our kids and parents. We used to try. We used to care. My parents got divorced when I was a kid and it was really hard at the time and took a long time for me as a kid to understand why everything I thought was solid ground just caved. Anyway, I hope guys can work it out . But if not, be there for your kids , brother.…
/r/Divorce_Men11/06/26 03:39 AM
2

Well, you love, you live and you learn. Be strong , Brother and good luck
/r/Divorce_Men10/06/26 02:31 PM
5

I think marriage is supposed to be for life. I think some marriages are exceptions to that. Such being with someone who is mentally ill or abusive or a chronic addict. But In today’s highly individualized culture and no fault divorces where friends and family will advise you to follow your bliss when shut gets hard, and judges won’t insist that you try anymore, and society doesn’t value the stability of the family as it once did, it’s almost impossible to make a marriage last a lifetime. No one …
/r/Divorce_Men10/06/26 04:39 AM
2

I’m sorry brother. That sounds really tough. Don’t give up on your marriage just yet. Check out mindful attraction plan by Athol Kay and my wife doesn’t love me anymore by Andrew g Marshall. Both excellent books. R/marriedredpill also helps. Hang in there brother . It’s not over until you give and say it’s over. You have more power than you know. You’re not helpless.
/r/Divorce_Men08/06/26 05:52 AM
2

I’m really sorry my friend . I feel for you. It’s one of the hardest things to go through. Harder than death of a loved one. At least when a loved one dies you can grieve and let go. With divorce and separation, especially when there are kids , you still have to see them once in a while , still know what they are up to. Who they are with. Watch them do thing and behave in ways they never would have with you. I really feel for you. Just know you aren’t alone. You were never alone . You’re grievin…
/r/Divorce_Men08/06/26 05:49 AM
1

Me too. I love my kids more than anything in the world. But I don’t want anymore. I’m done with that. Forever .
/r/Divorce_Men05/06/26 06:46 PM
1

Just out of curiosity. How did you rebuild your life ? As in where should one start when their life falls apart. Also, aren’t women in those age brackets more likely to want kids? And men in our age brackets are usually done with kids by then.
/r/Divorce_Men05/06/26 03:33 PM
3

That makes sense. An alternative explanation to the plot could simply be that he was fun and interesting and playful and made her feel good so she was drawn to him. The other guy was just a bit boring.
/r/MarriedRedPill16/11/25 04:30 AM
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