Sad_Hamster_8504 Archive

Upvotes	Title	Category	Author	Subreddit	Date (UTC)
11	How do I win my kids respect back after…		Sad_Hamster_8504	/r/Divorce_Men	08/12/24 05:08 PM
9	Go fund me?		Sad_Hamster_8504	/r/Divorce_Men	26/03/25 08:07 AM

Upvotes	Comment on	Subreddit	Date (UTC)
2	Just starting out, have a question about harrassment Yeah no definitely don’t leave the house. Stand your ground and just record her nonsense. Put up with it w a smile and a good attitude. Let her bury herself. Lawyer up and file 1st. It’s imperative if you want a fighting chance to having to have to walk away with half your shit taken if not more. All the best🙏🏼	/r/Divorce_Men	22/02/26 12:38 AM
3	Staying in an unhappy marriage for my child Divorced after 20 yrs. In yr 3 now. Kids were 17(girl) 15 & 12 (boys) at the time. The sahm stayed in the house with them and I left her. It was tough on everyone, but the alternative would have been worse. Today I’m back in my home and the ex is engaged and at the new guys home, which has been working out great. Kids are now 20, 18 and 15 doing much better. I wouldn’t have changed the decision I made because I showed my kids what not to accept when you’re in a marriage. Every situation is diffe…	/r/Divorce_Men	26/01/26 01:16 PM
6	Dont know what to do hurting IMO divorced after 20 yrs w a cheating spouse… it’s been going on WAY longer than six weeks. Either way you have to change the channel and focus on you and you kids if u have them w her. There’s zero u can do about it and you’re the King here. Act like it by taking the high road and getting stronger mentally, physically and most importantly spiritually. Praying for you🙏	/r/Divorce_Men	27/09/25 08:20 PM
9	Need some advice Hate to break it to you but women are creatures of habit and are scandalous. This was the dude who ended your marriage. Hence the separation. He’s been there the whole time my man. Sorry. Just got divorced after 20 yrs. Seen it all. Go with your gut. I don’t need to tell you. All the best. Lawyer up and file 1st! Please!!!!	/r/Divorce_Men	15/05/25 02:02 AM
3	Starting over at 56 If ur wife was the breadwinner then you should be great. Being the breadwinner you become the breadwinner loser and visa versa. Divorce Raped after 20 yrs now she’s the bread winner and I’m the bread loser. All the best. Lawyer up and take everything you can like the rest of them do!	/r/Divorce_Men	07/05/25 01:05 PM
3	Looking for advice Dude they’re complete maniacs that will gaslight and make you seem crazy for thinking that they’re cheating because how obvious it is. 20 yrs of marriage and she was cheating for the past decade. Finally divorced now 1 and 1/2 yrs. All you need is your gut and zero explanation from her because why would look s you want an explanation from a cheating , lying pos?	/r/Divorce_Men	06/05/25 05:33 AM
2	Wait to file? Speaking from experience…. After 29 yrs of marriage 3 kids a house, the one mistake I made was NOT filing first. The other was moving out because it got so toxic. If you don’t file first good luck in not being divorced raped. She will have the upper hand and take whatever it is she wants. It’s coming soon I can already bet. You just don’t know it. The sooner you face reality and get ur shit together the better. They’re awful creatures. Good luck with your process. I’m two yrs from the date I mov…	/r/Divorce_Men	06/05/25 05:10 AM
-1	Just separated He said don’t “do” stupid, never said that the man was stupid. Try helping the situation instead of creating conflict. Let me guess u voted for Kamala 😜😂	/r/Divorce_Men	28/03/25 11:27 AM
1	24 M, is marriage worth it? Noooooo after a 20 yr marriage I would say absolutely no chance. They change like the wind and you will lose everything and more importantly your identity!	/r/Divorce_Men	28/03/25 07:29 AM
1	Go fund me? Appreciate you and your story! Ty	/r/Divorce_Men	27/03/25 06:57 AM
2	Go fund me? Thank you for your story. That helped. Great job! All the best. Appreciate you	/r/Divorce_Men	27/03/25 06:50 AM
7	Has anyone made the most of their divorce? My 20 yr marriage ruined me and my kids. Divorced and now I’m practically homeless and can’t keep up with the unsure $650 week in support because that career I had when I was married is so far from the current situation it’s crazy. I’m at a loss. The judge gave that monster another 1yr and half of control because I can’t get any of my cut from my half of the equity until then. Don’t get married in Nj. I just want a fresh start to invest in myself and pivot careers while I can	/r/Divorce_Men	20/03/25 02:15 PM
6	What’s the best first step to leaving your wife? File first or you’re screwed. I left finally after 20 yrs. She filed first and I’m basically homeless at my sister while she gets to live a great life financially w my kids who have been alienated from the only faithful parent they have. She was a stay at home mom (glorified babysitter). All the best. Don’t leave the house, save ur money on side and file. The rest is history. Happy for you!	/r/Divorce_Men	04/03/25 02:21 PM
4	Verge of divorce That’s what marriage is about. If it fails the women get half. It’s cheaper than wasting the rest of your life in a dead end marriage. At least ur only 3 yrs in. I just got divorced in August after 20 yrs She didn’t work and we have 3 kid (19,17&14). I would say definitely don’t go lawyer route save Dave and split amicably if possible	/r/Divorce_Men	27/02/25 09:24 AM
3	Lost costudy after divorce Unfortunately they can do whatever they want. After leaving my ex wife for the safety and betterment of the family. Since she filed first. I lost the house, 1/2 of annuity, pension and I’m on the hook for 651 a week in alimony and child support. I don’t make what I used to so basically I’m homeless I make 500 a week and I’m starting from 0. While she has had best friends move in and the mortgage is only 1300 a month because I paid it down the last 20 yrs. We have 0 debt because I paid of the ban…	/r/Divorce_Men	25/02/25 05:10 PM
1	Does your ex motherfuck you in private and try to act like you’re friends in public? Omg sounds like my situation to a tee. Fast forward 6 month post divorce and 1 yr 6 months from the point I left that situation m, she wants know why I can’t just move back in and act as if everything’s cool. Why not? Her parents were best of friends when they divorced. She completely forgets the he’ll she put me through the last 10+ yrs of our marriage and also how she treated me after I left her. Crazy thing is the courts could have cared less. The lady judge went as far as calling the plainti…	/r/Divorce_Men	24/02/25 06:56 AM
2	Well the Shit Hit the Fan After going through my divorce of 19yrs. I finally had enough of her disrespect and dishonesty of 10 yrs. I would say definitely file first and DONT leave the house or you’re screwed.	/r/Divorce_Men	23/02/25 04:03 PM
6	So officially divorced this morning Divorced raped since aug 2024. Lost more than half my salary weekly, 1/2 annuity 1/2 pension and zero dollars from my marital home at least until April 2026. There over 250k (split) when she decides to sell or buy me out. Basically id be homeless if it weren’t for my sister. She was a stay at home mom for the last 19yrs and did the finances. My fault for trusting in that species to do the right thing for her family. Especially her kids. Like as if cheating on the family wasn’t enough for the pas…	/r/Divorce_Men	21/02/25 10:25 PM
2	What will divorced life look like? With having been the worker in the marriage for the last 19yrs prior to the divorce from the stay at home mom. My advice is file first or you WILL get screwed like I did. Forget about getting custody because that will goto the mom. It’s unfortunate but it is what it is. We also have three kids (19,17,14) we live in NJ which is a no fault state . She. CHeated for the last 10+ yrs and it didn’t matter. I’m on the hook for $651 a week alimony/child support and she gets to live in the marital home f…	/r/Divorce_Men	21/02/25 08:57 PM
0	Should I get married in the United States? Noooo don’t do it. U less there’s a prenuptial. You never know who you’re marrying and most likely she will have a mid life crisis or miserable single girlfriends just in time for that midlife crisis. Save your money and don’t get ya a honey unless you want to end up like me having to restart your life after 45 because you have nothing left after being divorce raped. All the best DA	/r/Divorce_Men	18/01/25 02:54 AM
3	What’s Likely to Happen to my Ex With These OP Violations? I feel like reading this there is hope because up until this pt fighting for me and my kids I was totally disregarded by the system. Yes I worked she was stay at home mom. She even did the finances to which we have zero but our house to show. Long story short she’s isolated every aspect of my life whether Siri , friends , acquaintances and now even my kids are estranged. Like how much can one do to another? I’m broke , practically homeless and even after divorce she is on the assault using anyon…	/r/Divorce_Men	06/01/25 05:24 AM
2	Coparenting How can you coparent w a parent who completely destroyed all aspects of being a father to your kids when their vision of you is a mirror image of all the hate spewed out by the so called scorned mother?	/r/Divorce_Men	08/12/24 01:25 PM
3	Drained bank accounts to hinder the Stay at Home Dad If ur a stay at home dad file first and u should be able to divorce rape her like my stay at home pos of an ex was for the last 20 yrs did me. Im basically homeless, penniless and I take home 1/3 $523 after divorce $1700 before divorce. If u file first u should be more than ok! All the best DA	/r/Divorce_Men	08/12/24 12:07 AM
6	Caught wife cheating, she claims she’s sorry and doesn’t want a divorce. Absolutely. If u dont she will before you when she finds the next baby daddy. Divorced after 19 yrs 3 kids later. My only mistakes…1 I didn’t leave in 2016, I felt kids were too young. 2 believing her (same as you)& 3 I didn’t file first. W all those missteps, I was obliterated as a father in court and the public, I know make less than 1/3 of what I made the last 15+ yrs. She’s in the marital home w the kids until 2026. I’m living like a cockroach and if it wasnt for my sister , id be homeless. …	/r/Divorce_Men	04/12/24 02:44 PM
10	How many of you are still friends w your ex wife? Friends only in public when she’s normal. When it’s in front or around our kids she’s that cruel, toxic unhappy person still. So no. Why would I want to be friends with someone who hates me with a passion ie a decade of spousal abuse I wouldn’t wish on my worst enemy to have gone through while working and raise 3 kids. Hard pass All the best DA	/r/Divorce_Men	30/11/24 10:51 PM
10	How to move on from feeling taken advantage of? I finally left 3/29/23 would’ve been 20 yrs this June. The ex has until 4 April of 26 to either sell or buy me out of our marital home that we bought in 2004. My two mistakes… I didn’t leave her in 2016, kids weee too young I felt then and the 2nd, I didn’t file first. Not doing that has me, if it weren’t for my sister id be homeless. I now make 1/3 of what I made after paying alimony and childsupport. I’m thankful I broke the chains of spousal abuse but not having a relationship with either of …	/r/Divorce_Men	16/11/24 11:23 PM
4	Divorce filing I got stuck with it even though I married the cheat. Best of luck. If u don’t feel like u should then don’t. I gave up I wanted out	/r/Divorce_Men	15/11/24 10:40 PM
1	Butt kicked in court After finally leaving her 3/29/23 we got divorced 8/29/24. I too took home 6700 a month. She just started to work 2 yrs ago since our kids at pretty much grown now 19,17 and 14. She has until April 2026 to see our house that has right now roughly 250k equity. I left her w nothing except zero debt and a1300 mortgage. I take 1/3 home at work now but I’ve never been more at peace. I’m just trying to get my kids not to hate me since they’re only fed one side. It was predetermined from the beginning …	/r/Divorce_Men	14/11/24 05:11 AM
5	Living with a Cheating Spouse: Lies, Betrayal, and Feeling Alone Listen please listen… reading this, Im telling YOU, this was me starting in 2011, 7 yrs into marriage and 3 kids later. Oh how I was the crazy one, gaslit, manipulated for yrs until her best friend sold her out because she couldn’t handle it anymore. That was my mistake! Believing love and wanted to work things out because they break and realize what’s what because right now your wife is in her own bubble and when she wakes up if ever the collateral damage that will be will be extensive when it …	/r/Divorce_Men	10/11/24 12:44 PM
1	How’s this shit work Moving out was first f up. The 2nd will be not filing first. Divorced 8/29/24 separated 3/29/23 after 19yrs married . I messed up first not leaving her in 2016 but that’s another mess up of mine. 2nd was moving out on 5/7/23 because she was relentless. I lived in the den I just was done the toxic living in front of our 19yr girl 17yr and 13 yr old boys. I left her not them . But since she “filed” first she had upper hand and I the dad was screwed. She lived in house where we bought in 04 and nev…	/r/Divorce_Men	10/11/24 12:26 PM
3	Checked her social media After finding out my wife cheated on me and our 3 kids the only mistake I made is I didn’t leave the first time when I found out. My kids were too young I felt in 2016. Fast forward to today finally divorced after a 1yr and 1/2 of torture between losing half of everything, the parent alienation and I’m practically homeless after working my ads off in the union for the last 23 yrs while she lived a double life. Consider yourself lucky. I was with my ex wife for 26 yrs! You deserve better. Focus o…	/r/Divorce_Men	22/10/24 10:44 AM
2	I’m ready for this to end Seems to me someone had a guilty conscience🤷🏻‍♂️. I Was married 19 yrs and seen that treatment. Like you’re the crazy one🤦🏻‍♂️. Looks like someone’s been hoping for an out. You said married, 10 exclusive for 17. That’s your side. I’d love to her side of what exclusivity means. Praying for you. No matter what our gut is always right and us men admit truth based upon how WE feel about anything or anyone. As Jack says “You can’t handle the truth!” Hoping it was just an overreaction, but seems too e…	/r/Divorce_Men	19/10/24 02:09 PM
8	How long did it take you to get over a divorce? Left her after 19 yrs of marriage on 3/29/23. and our divorce was finalized 8/29/24. Preach positivity, grow in your faith and hit the gym. Work on yourself, look your best and be at your best. Thats how we roll forward as Kings! All the best, DA	/r/Divorce_Men	13/10/24 02:28 AM
2	STBX just threatened suicide. What do I do? You have to get a professional opinion especially when… take you and her out of it, someone threatens to kill themselves let alone have you say goodbye to your son for her. Thank god you didn’t see until this morning. God is great like that. How are you supposed to feel save with your son’s life when it’s her time? Praying for you. Everyone has their crap. I finally got divorced 8/29/24 after 19 yrs of marriage and the last yr has been the worst ever for me as a father to my 3 amazing kids who a…	/r/Divorce_Men	12/10/24 01:37 PM
3	House vs 401K 19 yrs of marriage, ex stays in the house w 3 kids the, as of now 250k will be split when she sells or buys me out by 4-26. 10 yrs alimony 300 month 311 child support youngest 13. She got half annuity 40k and 1/2 pension up until now 21 yrs Union ironworker. I’m cash poor so I gotta work and save as much as I can in two yrs so when she does sell or buy me out it’ll be I nice nest egg to build and begin something to leave my kids. But for me knowing I got 10+ yrs of loading up my 401k. I’d take t…	/r/Divorce_Men	12/10/24 03:03 AM
10	Still processing the reasons All I can say from my 19 yr marriage where I was the crazy one who questioned what was up. I can tell you your gut is always correct and that all women won’t leave a man if there wasn’t another person already there. I pray you find your peace and it’s definitely nit you. Been there and reading what you wrote made me reminisce about the times when I had your questions. We can’t change people and what they want to do we can only control what we do. All the best. DA	/r/Divorce_Men	07/10/24 08:51 PM
4	Adultery 8/29/24 after 19yrs married should’ve left in 16’ but kids were too young. My fault I guess for trusting after that nightmare of 8+ yrs was enough for her in making that choice🤷🏻‍♂️leaving the happy family your 19, 17 & 13 yr olds though we had since our youngest was 2-3 but who really knows. Stayed as long as I could💔💔💔	/r/Divorce_Men	07/09/24 05:41 PM
1	Wife left after almost 5 years. I'm still trying to figure things out over a year later. I had to stop reading when she went to her hometown and can tell you from just getting divorced from a tyrant of 20+yrs that the problem is you’re not the only male in her life. Been there done that. Your gut is always correct. All the best moving forward and regaining your life back.	/r/Divorce_Men	02/09/24 04:52 PM
1	Push the Button, $2,500 - Crapping My Pants $2800 and I owe the stiff $6700 more after he retired 7 months into my divorce that lasted 1yr and 3 months as of yesterday. All in all 10 yr alimony 1200mth to get rid of a cheating no good rotten excuse of a wife who not only did the finances but estranged my kids from me in the process. They’ll come back when they realize looking back who I was and who she continues to be. Thankful to have broke. The chains of abuse. Just have to get me and my kids some counseling. All the best kings	/r/Divorce_Men	30/08/24 08:14 PM
2	Who initiated the separation/divorce? You or the wife? Me but since she filed first. I was screwed🤷🏻‍♂️until I decided to represent myself after getting taken for 15gs by a good for nothing lawyer 🙏	/r/Divorce_Men	06/07/24 06:15 PM
1	Should I gamble to stay in the marriage If u wait and don’t file first you will loose upper handle only way to save face and have a shot is to be the plaintiff and not defendant like I am after 20 yrs of marriage. Getting totally violated in every way because she filed first. I left her because of my and my kids best interests but she has upper hand. I’m, now after a yr and lawyer retiring, going to represent myself. Trying to get back my voice and at least ask for leniency. Good luck with whatever way you go but do it for #1 this tim…	/r/Divorce_Men	03/07/24 10:59 PM
1	I have a consultation with an attorney this week. My wife and I are planning to go thru mediation, but I wanted to know my rights. What are key questions to ask and what documents should I bring? Be the first to file. If you do you have all the power. I left my wife of 20 yrs after dealing with her cheating ways for the last 10 yrs. However she’s has a scandalous, heartless soul and filed first there for I have to also pay for her lawyer fees along with her getting to live in marital home with (200k+) until youngest is out of school or college.(5-9yrs), got half my annuity, pension, 250 weekly for alimony and child support. I’m now in over 20gs in legal fees, broken mentally and physical…	/r/Divorce_Men	28/06/24 06:11 PM
2	I'm getting a divorce with the same person I feel your pain. You’re so right! My only mistake was I didn’t kick mommy out & change the locks and tell my 3 little ones that mommys outta this family, but I didn’t I felt at the time the kids were too young and the Christian thing to do was to help and love her through it. Forgive her. Believe her when she says she would NEVER again but then 7-8 yrs later that same movie begins to play and this was when I got off the crazy train. I finally did what I thought was right for the father and his …	/r/Divorce_Men	15/06/24 07:47 AM
1	Tomorrow is one week since I left... And I feel more guilty than ever I left her a yr ago 5/7/23 after 26yrs together, married 20 yrs 6/18/24. I still feel guilty that I left my family. My 3 kids the most mean the world to me so I get it. I still 2nd guess if I did the right thing, but I just keep going to that point of when and why I left. Stay focused and like flinderdude said do things, work out and be a better you for who you left to become 🙏	/r/Divorce_Men	14/05/24 02:41 PM
-1	Well it's final I feel for you King! Same here just to a little longer. 19yrs to long but us as men have zero rights towards anything if they file first no matter what. Courts will just reward mom with all, at all costs. And that’s final. Mine got to live a double life as a rockstar/stay at home mom and now we get to double her salary and cut the fathers in half so he could live with his sister too. And lose a lucrative career in the midst of it all. Doesn’t matter it’s what I made the last 10 yrs m+. Can’t mak…	/r/Divorce_Men	11/05/24 10:52 PM
0	The end … Left soon to be ex after 26 yrs and almost 20 yrs of marriage. Since I left however I became the deadbeat Dad who left his family for another female, which is the most insane feeling I cannot describe when your children basically have the same views and ways of treating me that are eerily similar to mom. When for the last 10+yrs it’s the exact thing I battled against on a daily and at the same time having to shield my 3 kids from that the whole time. I know they’ll only get the truth when they a…	/r/Divorce_Men	01/05/24 03:19 PM
1	When will these ancient draconian laws of 50/50 change? In 2024, Women are equal to Men. Period. Assets should be split per contributions. How can we lobby reform? And and what happens when woman no take care of home and lives another life twhen kids goto to school full time?	/r/Divorce_Men	27/04/24 03:04 PM
1	My wife started the divorce process Courts will u fortunately will favor moms ALL time. Perception is everything in this world. Typical gaslighting and most likely has another source fulfilling her tank. Women are creatures of habit. They’re not going to leave a man’s bed until there’s another there. It happens. I left my wife if 19 yrs and gotta pay for her lawyer all because she “filled” first.🤦🏻‍♂️. I hope it all works out. Stay strong and focus on YOU. Keep all that drama between you two if possible.	/r/Divorce_Men	27/04/24 02:28 PM