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Santa-Teresa Archive

View 2 posts and 945 comments by Santa-Teresa on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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1

The overlap is large enough.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/07/26 03:11 PM
1

Like, that’s what instructions have been for since time immemorial. Trial and error is annoying as hell, and should be avoided whenever possible.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/07/26 08:44 AM
1

I probably would tell her, although I’m not really into casual sex to begin with, so the probability of this happening at all would be very low. But to flip the question a bit, what I definitely would want to avoid is her accusing me of exploiting her only for sex, even though I have made the situation clear from the beginning.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/07/26 07:57 PM
4

They are provably hindered by unhealthy social norms. The entitled people here are women who believe that they are owed a partner who conforms to their expectations of men, which are products of the exact same patriarchal system they claim to be fighting against. Laws defending the rights of women came about because of unhealthy social norms which demonstrably caused many people suffering. Now we don’t even need actual laws to combat norms causing men suffering. People should just realize these …
/r/PurplePillDebate21/07/26 06:14 PM
0

I honestly don’t think so. What I see is them being offended by having to be productive at all cost and definitely having to be more productive than women. Someone working a mid or even low level office job is productive, simply by doing a job. The usual complaint towards men is them lacking ambition, but with all due respect, people are owned to be accepted by society and the chance of getting into a romantic relationship without striving to be a CEO, a world-class artist or anything else outst…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/07/26 05:36 PM
5

Interestingly enough, abolishing corporal punishment actually started earlier in the military than elsewhere, since soldiers killing their abusive officers can become a serious problem for everyone involved.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/07/26 05:01 PM
4

In general, military sociology proves that the discipline used in schools until recently is detrimental to the effectiveness and cohesion of the team. What it often results in is soldiers seeing their officers as their abusers, often rightfully so, and exploiting actual combat situations to take revenge on them. I think most Americans are aware of fragging incidents and why they happened. Now and example from my personal life. I have been doing karate for more than twenty years now. Once I was i…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/07/26 04:57 PM
14

This should be adapted into a sketch parodying the gendered expectations for men.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/07/26 04:30 PM
20

Fellow customer service worker here, and I agree. The pool of people asking for your help is always the minority within the entire population.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/07/26 03:24 PM
1

If your preferences cause others to suffer considerably while you changing them doesn’t demand you to put much effort into the process, you are violating your own principles about giving everyone the chance to be happy. Going out with an average man to at most three dates to get to know them better is not more of a violation of your rights than the introduction of gender and/or racial quotas in employment and/or education are violations of the rights of legal persons. And that’s without mentioni…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/07/26 09:00 PM
0

Men primarily want young women with healthy bodies. The former is granted to everyone once in their lives, and maintaining your health is not difficult nowadays either (not drinking and smoking much and eating relatively healthily are not difficult, honestly ). So yes, most men expect things from women which are pretty average, in contrast to women’s expectations about charisma, confidence and wealth. And yes, both should value personality more, but men’s standards are both much easier to meet a…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/07/26 08:23 PM
1

Being physically attractive and morally flawed overlap much less than being charismatic/confident and being morally flawed.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/07/26 07:28 PM
1

It’s not a secret, that’s the point. What angers many men is that many women are at least as shallow as men while they pretend to be progressive and enlightened.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/07/26 07:24 PM
5

Women can easily retain their attractiveness much longer than 25. No smoking, drinking and exposing yourself to sunlight moderately and not becoming unattractively obese are all easier to do than what women expect from men. And most men want a romantic partner. If they find one early enough, the woman being called a slut is not possible by definition.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/07/26 11:22 PM
2

You shouldn’t expect gender roles to be changed at one field while expecting them to remain unchanged at another.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/07/26 11:15 PM
4

The biological difference is marginal, otherwise European women wouldn’t be much less likely to be obese than American women. Also, being slim is not necessarily the only factor in being attractive for a woman. https://www.psypost.org/being-perceived-as-thin-does-not-guarantee-a-female-body-will-be-rated-as-attractive-by-men/
/r/PurplePillDebate18/07/26 10:32 PM
4

I think women not having their current expectations from men when it comes to dating should be a social norm.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/07/26 10:24 PM
3

Most women have to do nothing, or at least very little, to be attractive for most men. And it definitely doesn’t end at 25 if you maintain a healthy lifestyle. And exactly because of that, men are much less discriminatory in dating.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/07/26 10:23 PM
4

The woman I’m currently courting is slightly overweight. Body proportions matter much more for men than women presume. And putting down weight is still easier than creating a gym bod, even if you’re only slightly overweight.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/07/26 10:16 PM
6

Who has more agency: those who have to do little-to-nothing to be attractive or those who have to work for it? Women have to maintain a youthful, healthy appearance in their primes, and they have more opportunities to find a partner for life than men in their entire lives. If you do find that man, emotional connection will replace physical attraction eventually.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/07/26 10:10 PM
8

Not being obese is much easier to achieve than a gym bod.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/07/26 09:55 PM
4

So you wouldn’t have any problem with it if it was legal? And if you would, why are you forcing men to have a harder time dating because of their gender?
/r/PurplePillDebate18/07/26 09:52 PM
1

Society could also stop worrying about a lot of problems women face and it would still function. I don’t think those issues should be ignored though. And if you had a very bad social life which affects you emotionally severely in spite of putting a lot of effort into it while Epstein had a lot of friends and society would continuously try to make you believe personality is the most important thing to have a good social life, you would be right to be upset. There is this frequent assumption that …
/r/PurplePillDebate18/07/26 09:49 PM
7

Why don’t women appreciate they have to work harder for the same amount of money than men? By your logic, they should.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/07/26 09:12 PM
2

But you never said anything about this being bad. You seemed to have stated it like something which just has to be accepted instead of being fought against, which is usually not the reaction when a social issue arises, especially if it’s related to women being disadvantaged at some field.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/07/26 09:05 PM
6

First, men are at least more honest about their preferences. I have seen very few men who haven’t admitted that they value youth and beauty the most in women. There is no virtue signaling to the degree women often try to convince others how much personality and kindness matter for them, when in fact, confidence, charisma and/or financial status can and often do outweigh personality for them. Second, women may stop dating an abuser when the abuse becomes more serious, but they are just as likely …
/r/PurplePillDebate18/07/26 09:00 PM
2

But if they were, they could be seriously flawed personality wise, you would go for them? Again, not exactly a confirmation of the primacy of personality.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/07/26 07:21 PM
1

Not exactly. If the answer is yes, it means personality is much less important than you claim.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/07/26 07:15 PM
1

Because it would reflect reality more, as admitted by OP herself.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/07/26 07:11 PM
3

OP herself claimed that we shouldn’t be surprised about abusers getting away with what they do because they are rich and well connected, and that people looking away is something to be expected, not something to be fought against. I reacted to that.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/07/26 06:44 PM
4

You yourself said that “when you’re not impressive, personality matters a lot.” Doesn’t that imply that if you’re impressive, personality matters much less? Also you “it proves that people tolerate serious flaws when someone offers enough value in return.” Doesn’t that imply that even serious personality flaws are overlooked if the person has other qualities? And yes, if so, it does mean people are seriously flawed.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/07/26 06:16 PM
3

I would way too many women are willing to ignore flaws of personality for the sake of being together with charismatic and confident men. https://www.frontiersin.org/journals/psychology/articles/10.3389/fpsyg.2024.1501809/full
/r/PurplePillDebate18/07/26 05:47 PM
6

And this is a slap in the face of liberal values and morality in general. No amount of money and connection should be able to compensate for being an abuser. If the abuse doesn’t outweigh the charisma, appearance or financial status of the person in question for you , you are an immoral person. Claiming that people should get over about abusers and criminals being excused for their behaviour because they are rich, good looking or charismatic is seriously problematic.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/07/26 05:41 PM
2

Which means money was more important for them than personality. Which, in turn, means that personality is less Important than money and charisma. That’s problematic by itself, but at least stop pretending it’s not widespread.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/07/26 05:30 PM
4

Most women claim kindness is important for them in a LTR. https://images.ctfassets.net/juauvlea4rbf/7Ku1E79xS6n1oaMXqo9rKD/dc470b206f11133d5b7d46fd05d09f19/Inside_art_1_EN.jpg?w=2400&h=1600&q=50&fm=webp That 88% should go for assertiveness and confidence, not kindness.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/07/26 05:25 PM
4

Charlie Sheen’s example does show that personality is not the most important thing as it is often said to be. Considering how often do women themselves claim this, I say yes, men calling out women for often caring much less about personality and kindness than they say is absolutely legitimate.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/07/26 05:20 PM
–

Why does that sound so impossible?
/r/PurplePillDebate10/07/26 11:44 PM
–

If you adhere to biological explanations so much, men are attracted to younger women because they are the most likely to be able to conceive and to carry out a healthy child. Yet somehow I doubt you would find that to be an acceptable explanation for all men preferring young women appearance wise.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/07/26 11:42 PM
–

Even a wrong smile can give them that. They are just better at hiding it after high school.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/07/26 11:37 PM
–

So men like both flat and big chested women? Also, having smooth skin and being petite is not something very difficult to achieve for women until they are young. Then if you manage to gain a partner who honestly loves you, your appearance will matter less as time goes on.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/07/26 11:22 PM
1

Women also tend to receive incomparably more help from liberal society than men. Incels are actually much more likely to kill themselves than anyone else.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates09/07/26 09:40 PM
2

Women are not more likely to like objectively dangerous than shy men because of incels. https://www.frontiersin.org/journals/psychology/articles/10.3389/fpsyg.2024.1501809/full Liberal society defending women at all costs is like several Western governments defending Jews at all costs, which makes them blind to the wrongdoings of Zionism. Yes, women often were and are oppressed. It doesn’t make them unable to be oppressive themselves.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates09/07/26 09:29 PM
2

Israel is actually a good example of an oppressed group believing they can do anything and every criticism they might get for it equals to oppression. Women having unhealthy dating standards is in a large part what causes incels to be incels, especially if men living in the West are blamed for misogyny in Iran or Afghanistan.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates09/07/26 09:23 PM
12

The law doesn’t compel you to buy anyone’s albums or to support them in any other way. If their art is about despicable things only for the shock value, they deserve backlash for it.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates09/07/26 12:12 PM
10

I mean morally.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates09/07/26 12:04 PM
11

And how is she any better?
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates09/07/26 12:00 PM
1

Their lives would definitely be easier with women changing their dating habits. I do support gender quotas which go far beyond anonymous resumes. https://ec.europa.eu/commission/presscorner/detail/pl/ip\_22\_3478 Which is, again, fine, because it makes it possible for people who would have been dismissed based on superficial information when the expectations are supposedly about deeper, less obvious values. Exactly what I expect dating to be.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/07/26 10:09 AM
2

Most young men complain about the dating habits of women. https://open.substack.com/pub/ymrp/p/are-young-men-over-dating?r=nufjk&utm_medium=ios Also, I will keep bringing this up: you can’t say you support gender quotas in employment which obviously force others to violate their immediate interests and saying women are free to do whatever they want in dating without being hypocritical. Not that I don’t support the quotas themselves. They are a good example of violating immediate interests can le…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/07/26 01:05 AM
1

Women choosing to be alone rather than dating even an average man implies that. And no, the average man today is certainly not as much behind women as not to deserve romantic attention.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/07/26 12:47 AM
1

This pretty much confirms that women often have unhealthy standards when it comes to dating.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/07/26 10:00 AM
–

No.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/07/26 08:35 AM
0

Yes, but that’s often not the reason they choose them.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/07/26 08:26 AM
0

Exactly
/r/PurplePillDebate07/07/26 08:03 AM
-1

Not necessarily consciously, but I do think many women are dishonest about their standards.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/07/26 07:29 AM
1

Doesn’t necessarily mean that you’re not lying about them though. Nobody likes to be reminded of their shortcomings.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/07/26 06:33 AM
1

No. I mean the same women who are very quick to admonish men for wanting them to bring their dating standards down support laws about gender quotas which practically force employers to employ women against their will. Not that I’m against that, mind you. But supporting that and calling out men for their mentioned desire is hypocrisy.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/07/26 06:08 AM
1

Most men in general, not just on the internet, don’t like dating single mothers. There are more than enough men who reject them politely, or at least not worse than how women on the internet regard neurodivergent men, or any man who dares to criticize women for their dating habits, for that matter. And sure, people have to work, but it’s not what many women want. They could make ends meet by being cleaners or janitors. What they want is successful careers with high positions and huge salaries. W…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/07/26 09:19 PM
1

No, but you they pay you and other employees money. For exactly the same reason as an employer should employ someone whom they feel is a net loss for them initially. Because maybe if are willing to give them a chance, they will be able to show you aspects of their being which are not obvious initially, but actually make them valuable for you.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/07/26 08:19 PM
0

I did. Dating and employment are exactly as inclusive by nature.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/07/26 07:56 PM
0

What exactly is under the purview of non-discrimination and inclusion seems to be strangely aligned to the needs of women. By the same token, you can ask employers to change their immediate interests and take risks by employing you as a woman, but why should they when they can also find men who seemingly can do the same job exactly as good as you, but are less likely to be absent from work, and their absenteeism is easier to change, as it is not because of biological reasons.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/07/26 07:35 PM
1

The definition of struggling should be revised in light of how the financial status of people has worsened in general. In just 15 years, the average U.S. homebuyer went from 39 to 59 years old. 53% of people in Germany, one of the richest countries in Europe, live in rental homes. And even though Gen Z earns more than their parents did in their age, their situation is less secure.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/07/26 06:47 PM
1

If she really liked to date, but most men would refuse her without thinking she was a used up whore, would women not champion for her anyway? Because decent men are usually not enthusiastic about dating single mothers either. Similarly, how is telling women they are more likely to be absent from work, so we won’t give you a chance, because heaven forbid we take risks, better than telling late bloomers that they don’t deserve a chance, because we won’t take a risk? That’s good to know. At least y…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/07/26 06:10 PM
1

I do wonder if men saying single mothers should remain single for the rest of their lives gets the same support from you. Or women who are told they can’t have successful careers and should be happy with their lower paying jobs. I also hope you don’t claim to be a liberal, since what you say goes against the basic liberal principle of people being able to change.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/07/26 05:00 PM
0

Current society overwhelmingly caters for the needs of neurotypical people, especially at dating. Always asking neurodivergent people to mask and try to fit in while doing nothing in return because it would be more exhausting than living in a society designed for your needs goes straight against the liberal principles most women claim to adhere to.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/07/26 04:46 PM
0

The expectations of men towards women are much easier to meet than vice versa. Everyone is young once, remaining healthy with a good BMI is doable, so is being a nice person in general. Maybe motherhood is the only thing difficult out of these, but that’s something women do at least as much for themselves as for their partners. And most men are not the sole providers, but women still look for men who are financially better off than them. Them having a higher income is undesirable for most women.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/07/26 04:29 PM
1

At least legalising and legitimising prostitution and visiting prostitutes would be a huge improvement.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/07/26 11:11 PM
–

I’m not attracted to rapists and murderers.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/07/26 06:20 PM
–

Because being shy and awkward is far better than being a rapist and/or a murderer by any human standards? And I think people who think otherwise have serious problems.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/07/26 06:08 PM
–

Yes, people being more attracted to rapists and murderers than awkward men is seriously problematic and get used to being called out for it.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/07/26 05:55 PM
–

Without even mentioning how most young men complain about the dating culture of women, not only neurodivergents, claiming or even implying that rapists and murderers getting significantly more romantic attention than “dweebs” is acceptable is seriously messed up.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/07/26 05:52 PM
–

Women are free to actively approach men and try to extensively know their personalities before getting into a relationship. It’s up to them.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/07/26 05:42 PM
–

Kindness alone isn’t . Confidence and charisma without kindness are. Pretending kindness is equally important as those two is either gaslighting or self deception. That’s what the post is about. It doesn’t deny that kindness alone is often worthless.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/07/26 05:06 PM
–

Which proves OP right. It’s not that many women find kindness itself repulsive, but they don’t find the lack of it a red flag either. Charisma and confidence are more important than kindness for them.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/07/26 04:57 PM
–

Then women should be honest about it and admit it’s charisma and confidence they are attracted to, not kindness or morals.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/07/26 04:00 PM
–

“Most of them, they think it was some battle. A siege, a burning tower, an enemy with a torch. One fool asked if it was dragonsbreath. [laughs bitterly] I'll tell you what it was, girl. I was younger than you, six, maybe seven. A woodcarver set up shop in the village under my father's keep, and to buy favor he sent us gifts. The old man made marvelous toys. I don't remember what I got, but it was Gregor's gift I wanted. A wooden knight, all painted up, every joint pegged separate and fixed with …
/r/PurplePillDebate03/07/26 03:57 PM
–

The entire court audience was bewildered by the claims about Bundy having done the things he was accused of getting proven. Both men and women. It’s hard to believe all or even most of them had mental problems. Charisma can and often does have a stronger effect than morals.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/07/26 03:50 PM
1

Exceptional situations are exceptional exactly because you can’t make general statements based off of them.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/07/26 01:33 AM
–

How would you react if someone told you you actually need therapy instead of receiving more economic opportunities?
/r/PurplePillDebate02/07/26 06:32 PM
–

You don’t become sad by being refused once, twice or even three times. You become sad only after you are refused dozens of times. And you get frustrated when women are campaigning for others to put their immediate interests for them aside, but when it’s expected from them, they are in denial. Women who are not given the chance to have successful careers should also just go to therapy and learn to accept that companies don’t own them this. If you can’t accept that you may have to live as a cleane…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/07/26 06:29 PM
1

And just like fortune cookies, a lot of those supposed rebuttals can be countered by asking women to think about how their problems about not being able to find work stems from them wanting to be CEOs or high-ranked employees. Considering how women are provably more likely to be absent, there is a legitimate reason for this to be less likely, stemming from biological differences even without accounting for childbirth and raising children. Women could decide they can live their lives as cleaners,…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/07/26 01:24 PM
0

You trying to portray fringe events as something systemic and not the work of fringe assholes.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/06/26 03:15 AM
0

Men are thousand times more likely to be raped by women than female athletes getting sex toys thrown at them. By your logic, men being raped is also systemic.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/06/26 03:13 AM
1

Out of how many occasions when female athletes competed publicly in the US overall?
/r/PurplePillDebate28/06/26 03:09 AM
0

These things don’t happen to most female athletes either. You calling this systemic makes you wrong.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/06/26 03:08 AM
0

Men getting raped by women is more common than this by far. By your logic, misandry is even more common than misogyny… That’s exactly the entitlement people are talking about.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/06/26 02:31 AM
8

Therein lies a huge misconception: A lot of those men do have a steady social life, but when it comes to dating, they’re struggling because of the unnaturally high expectations of women.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/06/26 01:57 AM
-2

It often causes severe depression, which is a leading cause of suicide. If your liberalism was actually as universal as you portray it to be, going on a few dates with men whom you wouldn’t date based on a few sentences you spoke to each other but who are otherwise decent wouldn’t be impossible.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/06/26 01:45 AM
-5

By having to work much harder than women to get a romantic relationship, one of the most fulfilling experiences of human life. And no, men don’t have it easier in an already established relationship either. A toxic relationship hurts men equally as women. But women can find a new partner incomparably easier.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/06/26 01:38 AM
-4

It’s about women not being able to admit that they’re not always the victims, but nowadays often also the oppressors of men. That’s combined with them not wanting to put more effort into dating and you have exactly this entitled attitude that liberal women so often fight against otherwise.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/06/26 01:23 AM
3

Which implies that people should put more effort into dating and trying to know both people who want to date them and those who they want to date. It all boils down to people who can get a relationship easily don’t want to put more effort into dating. You do you, but then also face the consequences.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/06/26 12:27 AM
2

Meaning: honest, clear communication instead of hints should be standard?
/r/PurplePillDebate27/06/26 08:24 PM
2

A very small border where attacking would be a logistical nightmare. No, I don’t think they have any reason to be concerned.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/06/26 05:50 PM
–

Practically yes.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/06/26 12:30 PM
–

True. Extrapolating the situation in some states in the US to the entirety of the western world is misleading.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/06/26 12:27 PM
–

There is a reason why celibacy was abolished by all Protestant denominations. My former German teacher was from East Pomerania. She told me how Catholic priests regularly slept with and impregnated their cleaning ladies, while this was almost nonexistent with Lutheran pastors. I guess you know which are allowed to marry, and which aren’t.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/06/26 12:24 PM
5

Yeah, it’s not like trying to be as clear in communication as possible would be better for everyone. You hating autism is your thing, but at least take pity of your fellow neurotypical men. https://open.substack.com/pub/ymrp/p/are-young-men-over-dating?r=nufjk&utm\_medium=ios
/r/PurplePillDebate27/06/26 11:56 AM
2

Norway is not being invaded. Also, a large army composed of unwilling soldiers is usually worse than a smaller but more motivated one.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/06/26 09:23 AM
7

Communicating your honest emotions should be a requirement especially if you operate based on emotions. Expecting others to be mind readers is just laziness, and something even men who are seemingly successful with women find frustrating.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/06/26 09:08 AM
1

Women are just as entitled to the chance of becoming rich and economically successful as men are to find a romantic partner. The chance, not the end immediately. Employers have the right to fire particular women who don’t meet their standards, just as women have the right to break up with men who don’t meet theirs. But neither have the right to dismiss these people without having given them the chance to prove themselves worthy of their desires.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/06/26 11:18 PM
1

And employers aren’t required to hire you by the same token. Women are more likely to be absent due to biological differences, even without accounting for childcare. By your logic, employers shouldn’t be required to hire people they deem a net loss.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/06/26 10:52 PM
4

Very true. Women should at least admit what they actually are attracted to and stopping demonising sex-work clients would be a huge improvement by itself.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/06/26 10:24 PM
-2

If you support gender quotas at employment, while having this attitude to dating, you’re hypocritical.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/06/26 10:21 PM
4

You seriously don’t have to be a supermodel for men to be interested in you as a woman, and as OP says, not being overweight and not destroying your body by substance abuse is much easier than becoming taller, richer or more charismatic. The guy you mentioned could well be an average guy who only gets matches from below average women. Him not getting matches with average women would actually prove that many women do have unhealthy dating standards.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/06/26 12:39 AM
1

So men don’t go for looks solely?
/r/PurplePillDebate26/06/26 12:24 AM
6

Putting down weight is usually definitely easier than becoming rich and/or gaining charisma. Men’s standards are much easier to meet. And most men do want a steady relationship. Quite probably even those who say they envy women for being able to have hookups would not care about hookups at all if they could have long term relationships with all of their benefits.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/06/26 12:07 AM
1

A relationship is not about all of your desires being catered to. A man being physically more attracted to other women doesn’t mean he can’t prefer you a billion times over them overall. If that’s not enough for you, then you’re indeed not suitable for a relationship.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/06/26 08:47 PM
2

As in more boring for both parties.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/06/26 01:20 PM
2

It’s not necessarily because she is aging, but because sex becomes more boring after a while.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/06/26 01:11 PM
–

Initially, it is physical attraction, but emotional attachment becomes more important as the relationship develops. Also, most men are attracted to at least average women from 18 to, say, 35, and many of the things which might make you unattractive are mutable.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/06/26 10:25 AM
2

And considering how most men don’t cheat on or leave their older wives with or for younger women, it should be emphasised that not being in your physical prime as a woman probably won’t destroy your relationship once it is established.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/06/26 10:18 AM
2

Most men say women are the most attractive in their early-to-mid-twenties. They don’t claim to be attracted to 18-year-olds en masse. Also, claiming that women are the most attractive at that age doesn’t mean that they can’t be attracted to older women.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/06/26 10:14 AM
1

It’s not only “spergs” who might lose sheer physical attraction to others as they age. It doesn’t mean that men in general would leave their aging partners, since the established emotional attachment can replace physical attraction. But you do need physical attraction initially, and considering how you yourself often highlight in your comments that you at least dislike aging, I do presume your wife being in her physical prime was one of the most important factors in choosing her to begin with. “…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/06/26 10:07 AM
2

Nothing indicates that the things mentioned would have to be forced on the woman. Couples do things to “spice up” their sex lives when both parties get bored with vanilla sex. It’s not that rare really.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/06/26 09:55 AM
1

Taking care of your health is not as difficult as people like to portray it. Remaining healthy with a healthy BMI until your 50s is doable.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/06/26 09:51 AM
4

Exactly. If those bonds are established, physical appearance will matter less than emotional value. When you need physical appearance as a woman is the initial part of a relationship, but men find most women from 18 to, say, 35 attractive, even longer if the women take care of themselves. Establish a well-working relationship in that age range, and you will probably find a partner for life.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/06/26 09:48 AM
–

Personally, it’s not likely, although I definitely don’t rule out that there are women out there who remain attractive due to a healthy lifestyle and/or good genes. Not smoking and drinking frequently from 15 to 40 helps a LOT in maintaining your attractiveness.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/06/26 09:16 AM
6

There is some truth to people ignoring the context. But honestly, if a man did what she did, how many people, especially feminists, would care about his backstory?
/r/PurplePillDebate21/06/26 05:40 PM
5

Understanding where she comes from doesn’t make what she did excusable. And I really don’t see how “everyone” hates her. If anything, she gets more sympathy than condemnation, something which would be probably reversed if she was a man. (Although I admit the storytelling style of the film probably also contributes to this. Forrest’s POV is so strong that it’s sometimes hard to see through his rose-coloured glasses.)
/r/PurplePillDebate21/06/26 03:56 PM
5

That’s the thing though. A man with an incurable STD impregnating the woman he has neglected for decades only because everyone else has abandoned him would make him hated with the audience, and no amount of past trauma would be enough to excuse it. A woman doing this does get the excuse.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/06/26 02:56 PM
2

It’s often not a simple analysis, but trying to excuse her acts and depicting her as a victim of the circumstances.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/06/26 02:46 PM
2

Pretending she does because everyone else has abandoned her is toxic behaviour. Misleading someone to believing you love them is toxic behaviour. And it was ultimately her choice, not the result of predetermined events as many people defending her claim.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/06/26 01:19 PM
3

Regardless of the genre, it should be common knowledge that what she did was seriously wrong, and a clear example of a toxic relationship. You can pretend what she did was ultimately good for him, but it doesn’t negate the fact that she was clearly exploiting someone and a lot of people either excuse her with her past or how he was happy about it because he couldn’t realise what was going on. She was not a good person, and nothing excuses her behaviour as an adult.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/06/26 01:08 PM
6

Which means that everyone else in the community was below bare minimum. It doesn’t excuse her behaviour of probably exploiting the love of a mentally disabled man (and quite probably infecting him and their child with an incurable disease) because she has been abandoned by everyone else, whatever abuse she went through and whatever good she did for him in the past. That’s why categorising the story as a romance is not far off from reality. From Forrest’s perspective, it was a romance, and Jenny …
/r/PurplePillDebate21/06/26 12:51 PM
10

Not being attracted to him is one thing. throwing him away and going back to him when everyone else threw her away is something completely different. And let me flip the usual “being kind is the bare minimum” mantra we hear so often from those who are against the notion that women should change.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/06/26 12:24 PM
1

Everyone is young once. The overwhelming majority of people are never millionaires. And yes, a lot of people want a steady relationship in their twenties.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/06/26 09:44 AM
1

Everyone is young once. The overwhelming majority of people are never millionaires. And yes, a lot of people want a steady relationship in their twenties.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/06/26 09:43 AM
1

But they indicate that’s the most important thing for them in long term relationships, something most women prefer when it comes to relationships. And most women also want sexual relationships, so here it is.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/26 08:12 PM
1

The study literally indicates that for the overwhelming majority of women are attracted to kindness. It’s not men who are saying that, it’s the women asked in the survey. Yet the portion of women attracted to kindness is definitely smaller than that.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/26 08:07 PM
1

It does, at least in long term relationships (which most women prefer, and which are not sexless in the majority of cases ). Women are free to state otherwise. And the obsession comes from the hypocrisy of women preaching about morality and kindness, but many of them being more open to felons than awkward, but kind men.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/26 08:01 PM
1

They mean women in general should be expected to care about kindness above everything else. Which is not true in practice, that’s what makes most women claiming it is liars. And it’s not the only study claiming that: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-myths-sex/202203/the-sexual-appeal-dark-personalities
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/26 07:46 PM
1

Many care about most things listed above more than kindness actually. But they do claim they care about kindness more than those things.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/26 07:43 PM
1

Only moderately important.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/26 07:35 PM
1

I have been a leftist since elementary school, and been supportive of the rights of minorities and women. My grandmother keeps recalling a story how I stopped to help people building barricades in my hometown during a flood, even though I wasn’t really physically fit to provide much support. Just a few days ago, I offered my car to some people in the debate club which had terminated my membership previously. Not that it has ever mattered romance wise. All of my coworkers “have their shit togethe…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/26 07:35 PM
1

Let’s just make this clear: It’s women who claim that kindness is more important for them than anything, and it’s women at the same time who prove to be more interested in men who are likely to lack kindness. When many women are actually interested in men who are below the bare minimum morally and still preach about how important kindness is, calling them out is warranted.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/26 07:14 PM
1

For example: https://helloclue.com/articles/sex/idealpartner
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/26 07:08 PM
10

Yes, a large part of this is social. Female courting culture being almost nonexistent is a huge part of the asymmetry
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/26 07:01 PM
-1

Okay, so you still had tons of options in your twenties and thirties? And it’s not a logical error. Women who are above 40 were young once and had plenty of opportunities when they were young. By the time you are physically undesirable, you have had more than enough time to form a deep relationship where this doesn’t matter anymore. And being desirable is a huge advantage when you want to start dating someone. A large part of those men who want to have sex with you are also open to a long term r…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/26 06:57 PM
0

But there are phases. You have more options at dating from 15-40 than most men in their entire lives. More than enough to find someone if you put enough effort into it.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/26 06:28 PM
0

Going to a few dates with a man because you realize that you can’t know the full extent of his personality through a half minute long conversation is rape only with an unnaturally flexible definition of rape.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/26 02:50 PM
3

Men’s main standards focus mainly on things that are much easy to change than what women look for. Being young is something which is granted to everyone, and putting down weight is still much easier than not being neurodivergent or being taller. And yes, being in a relationship is not the same as entering one, but you can’t be in a relationship without being allowed to have one, and this argument is also exactly why the “women can be abused in a relationship” argument doesn’t prove women don’t h…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/26 02:45 PM
3

It pretty much is. You expect others to violate their immediate interests so women can prove their worth, but you are not ready to violate your own interests for others to be able to do so. And that’s textbook hypocrisy.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/26 02:40 PM
1

I will say what I always say when this comes up: many women decrying men’s pleas for women to widen their boundaries do support policies obviously violating the immediate interests of others, with the gender quotas in employment being the prime example. I actually also support those policies, as they help women show their actual capabilities which they otherwise couldn’t, especially since companies say they actually appreciate qualifications. But you can’t do that and then claim going to a few d…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/06/26 02:24 PM
–

Spinster is more like an unmarried older woman. I’m not aware of it being used for women under 40 either.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/06/26 06:04 AM
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Considering how women seem to be willing to ignore red flags for the sake of fun, I say yes, many women do prioritise other traits over kindness. If being attractive includes traits which exclude kindness but you keep claiming that kindness is important for you, then you will be called out for it.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/06/26 05:50 AM
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Women regularly claim they appreciate kindness the most. And no, piercings, tattoos and partying don’t make you bad. But there’s a tendency that women ignore red flags for the sake of confidence and assertiveness.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/06/26 05:35 AM
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Dating bad people and claiming you value moral goodness the most (which most women do) are both individual choices. You can date bad people, claim you like good people and then receive criticism for your hypocrisy and faulty moral compass, you can date bad people and admit you at least don’t care and then receive criticism for being bad (but at least honest), or you can try to change your preferences so that you actually prefer good people and then you won’t get criticism for your morality. You …
/r/PurplePillDebate18/06/26 01:44 AM
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We do understand it. Having a confident and charismatic personality is more important than being morally good for many women. Fine. But then 1 Stop virtue signalling and claiming that kindness or deep personality are important for you 2 Don’t be surprised when people call you shallow.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/06/26 01:30 AM
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Some are desperate to have someone they can have a relationship with. Still doesn’t mean it would make them proud. You simply can’t enjoy a relationship for itself if you don’t have one.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/06/26 12:01 AM
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A non-confident or non-assertive man is usually cooked, regardless how kind or selfless he is.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/06/26 11:35 PM
–

Yes. If women preferred kindness as much above everything else as they say, the current dating environment would be very different.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/06/26 11:27 PM
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They say they are much more willing to give a chance to the average woman than women are to average men. Nothing implies that it’s not the relationship itself they’re after.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/06/26 11:19 PM
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A very large is at least willing to take the risk. https://www.frontiersin.org/journals/psychology/articles/10.3389/fpsyg.2024.1501809/full
/r/PurplePillDebate17/06/26 11:16 PM
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It’s them saying it’s one of the most important factors. Dating men that are bad people (and a lot of women do that) contradicts that it would be important for them at all. https://helloclue.com/articles/sex/idealpartner
/r/PurplePillDebate17/06/26 11:06 PM
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Women are often attracted to traits which are at least predisposing factors for someone to become a bad person.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/06/26 10:59 PM
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Behaviour is still easier to correct than biology.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/06/26 10:57 PM
–

Women regularly claim otherwise.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/06/26 10:55 PM
–

You really should try to prove most men are not good people by “modern standards”, or you should check if those standards are valid.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/06/26 10:54 PM
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You don’t have to be redpilled to notice the often toxic standards women have for dating.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/06/26 10:50 PM
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They are more likely to be absent. https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC10789064/
/r/PurplePillDebate17/06/26 10:39 PM
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Because most people like to be in a relationship for the relationship itself, not because they see it as some kind of trophy.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/06/26 10:31 PM
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Nobody said anything about sex immediately. Going on a few dates for the men to prove themselves is a very flexible definition of rape. Not least because women themselves claim to be attracted to kindness and deep personality the most.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/06/26 10:16 PM
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The idea is that women are attracted to traits which at least make men prone to being bad is backed by science . Women either own that kindness is not the most important thing for them, or will get criticism for virtue signaling.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/06/26 10:07 PM
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Women themselves claim to be attracted mostly to kindness. Which experience does contradict very often, true, but they continue claiming it.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/06/26 10:05 PM
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Do you want company owners to employ people they see as risky investment?
/r/PurplePillDebate17/06/26 09:59 PM
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[ Removed by Reddit ]
/r/PurplePillDebate17/06/26 09:49 PM
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[ Removed by Reddit ]
/r/PurplePillDebate17/06/26 09:44 PM
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So these women actually don’t care about kindness and moral decency… Fine, but then at least own it.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/06/26 09:43 PM
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But you’re still willing to sleep with them if they check all the boxes. None of which include not being an asshole, as long as you particularly are not affected… Yes, you really should stop virtue signalling.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/06/26 09:39 PM
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Which confirms that many women don’t care about men being assholes as long as they are charismatic enough and said assholery doesn’t affect the women in question.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/06/26 09:36 PM
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[ Removed by Reddit ]
/r/PurplePillDebate17/06/26 09:33 PM
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The same way gender quotas violate the autonomy of company leaders and owners by forcing them to employ people they see as at least a risky investment. But it’s still the right thing to do.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/06/26 09:13 PM
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I’m actually arguing for more socialism for both women wanting to make a career and men trying to find a romantic partner. Gender quotas make women entitled to certain positions where they have a chance to prove their worth and make a career. This requires sacrifice from employers, as women are provenly more likely to be absent from work. Still, these quotas are right, because if an employer is actually seeking qualification, they should be able to take the risk. Similarly, if women were actuall…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/06/26 05:28 PM
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Because both require others to sacrifice some of their freedom for the sake of fulfilling the legitimate desires of others and thus of bettering society.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/06/26 05:04 PM
2

No, and that’s why it’s not Trumpists I’m trying to convince. The liberal community is powerful and is provenly capable of making the life of those in need easier and better. That’s why it’s frustrating when they are so selective about who they want to help.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/06/26 03:10 PM
2

He represents one of the most liberal and most famous cities in the world. You can’t say his statements are not reflective of the liberal community.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/06/26 03:03 PM
1

As I said, liberal thinking, and I mentioned Zohran Mamdani.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/06/26 02:59 PM
1

These quotas violate the rights of employers exactly as women deciding to give more chances to lonely men would violate the freedom of women. No more, no less. It’s not about government interference, as it’s not even needed if women could adopt this thinking.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/06/26 02:32 PM
1

“The more interesting RP-style observation is that many people apply these principles selectively. They are highly individualistic when discussing male struggles but much more collectivist when discussing female struggles. That's where many men feel the inconsistency lies. So I don't think the logical conclusion is "men should stop caring about women entirely." The stronger argument is that if society expects empathy, support, and concern from men, then men's issues should receive the same level…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/06/26 02:14 PM
3

It really shouldn’t be. It should be a normal part of life.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/06/26 02:09 PM
2

I’m not, but I definitely wouldn’t mind if most people would be okay with sex work and its customers.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/06/26 02:06 PM
1

The actually tolerant approach would be not reprimanding anyone for doing it even if it’s known. But alas.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/06/26 02:02 PM
2

Women and liberal society do support policies which violate the rights of choice of others by supporting gender and racial quotas, since women are provenly more likely to be absent, which makes them objectively initially less attractive for employers. Which means that yes, employers are forced to give up some of their freedom and consent to provide opportunities for women who may not get it otherwise. Is this a bad thing? Absolutely not, but then complaining about how interfering with consent is…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/06/26 02:00 PM
3

But the same women can’t support policies introducing gender quotas which benefit women without sounding hypocritical. Employers often don’t prefer women for objective economic reasons.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/06/26 01:17 PM
2

Even if they pay for sex or simply watch porn, they are reprimanded for supporting the abuse of women. And there is detectable hypocrisy in claiming that women deserve more chances from employers , even if they’re objectively a riskier investment, but men don’t deserve more opportunities in dating.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/06/26 01:13 PM
1

Women and liberal society do support policies which violate the rights of choice of others by supporting gender and racial quotas, since women are provenly more likely to be absent, which makes them objectively initially less attractive for employers. Which means that yes, employers are forced to give up some of their freedom and consent to provide opportunities for women who may not get it otherwise. Is this a bad thing? Absolutely not, but then complaining about how interfering with consent is…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/06/26 01:10 PM
1

If most see that they are at least given a chance, most won’t.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/06/26 12:16 AM
2

Women regularly claim to appreciate kindness and/or personal depth the most, while they are actually attracted to primarily charisma and status. This brings especially neurodivergent men to a desperate situation, because being alone with someone is usually the situation where they can get over their shyness and show their real self. Which, considering how being romantically unsuccessful is one of the main reasons for suicide, and men a multiple times more likely to commit suicide than women, is …
/r/PurplePillDebate17/06/26 12:15 AM
3

Absolutely not all of them. It’s time consuming, yes. But I still think finding a loving partner is worth your while.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/06/26 12:00 AM
1

Giving an average, even if awkward man a chance to prove himself to be a good partner through a few dates is not exactly the same or worse than providing a roof to homeless people, again, unless you have sky high expectations.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/06/26 11:25 PM
6

Because of the mentioned dismissive attitude. Zohran Mamdani pretty much represents the opinion of the liberal mainstream in this regard, in my experience.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/06/26 11:00 PM
3

Yes, and I actually find the often dismissive attitude of many supposedly liberal people, those who demonstrably can and do improve the lives of those in need, to the problem of romantically lonely men very saddening.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/06/26 10:39 PM
4

Until recently, the quota of the gender and ethnicity of the people employed by a company was also something personal. Then these groups began to let their voices heard because they were objectively discriminated against. Now there are quotas which objectively violate the freedom of employers, but are still the right thing to do, because they allow these people to prove themselves, which they otherwise couldn’t. It’s exactly the same thing with lonely men. They are often not given the opportunit…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/06/26 10:35 PM
1

Most of them don’t desire my attention. Neither do they desire sex immediately, for that matter, however surprising it seems. Just a chance for a relationship. But feel free to expect others to invest time and effort into you while continuing to neglect equally legitimate desires of others.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/06/26 10:22 PM
3

You don’t have to immediately have sex with every man. What you need to do is to give a chance for them to prove themselves. Yes, that means you have to put more time and effort into dating. But that’s not actually different from expecting companies to employ women (even if they are provenly more likely to be absent) for them to prove themselves as a good workforce. They are equally legitimate desires.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/06/26 10:03 PM
-1

Still no proof that most men who struggle with dating would be as undesirable as a homeless man (unless you view even average men as that undesirable).
/r/PurplePillDebate16/06/26 09:55 PM
0

Actually, no. https://homelesshub.ca/blog/2015/what-are-statistics-homelessness-due-divorce/
/r/PurplePillDebate16/06/26 09:49 PM
4

Women approaching their thirties are at least as much incentivised by their own desires to find a partner and often to have children as by outside social expectations. Men do make more money, but the gap is not only shrinking, but there is a good chance that women may eventually outearn men in the future. And lonely men and boys receive most of the attention they receive because of the supposed danger they pose, not because society otherwise would care about them.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/06/26 09:11 PM
-6

It’s usually not homeless men who call for some romantic interest from women. Equating the average man who struggles with dating to homeless men tells me much more about the standards some women have.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/06/26 08:56 PM
1

You can be asexual and/or aromantic.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/06/26 05:49 PM
7

I agree that it's not casual sex in particular which people necessarily need. I do think 99.99% of non-asexual/aromantic people would need to experience sex, but with a genuine romantic partner.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/06/26 09:02 PM
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[ Removed by Reddit ]
/r/PurplePillDebate12/06/26 05:25 PM
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Yet the very same stranger wouldn’t be bothering her if he was charismatic enough. Which, again, underlines that claims about kindness being attractive and interested in the deeper aspects of personality are at least exaggerated.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/06/26 05:18 PM
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Because women themselves mostly indicate kindness and personality are the most important qualities for them. If not, you do you, but at least be honest about it.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/06/26 11:49 AM
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I would be surprised if most awkward guys would have problems this serious. Situations and people’s ability to show every aspect of their personality. Again, it does mean you have to invest more time and effort into dating. But it’s worth it if you want to find someone you can have a family and grow old with.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/06/26 11:47 AM
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Ours? A lot of men also make a living by doing blue collar jobs. No, you presented no proof that socially awkward men are more likely to be jackasses. On the other hand, you kind of admitted that a man can be a jackass and attractive for you if he is hot enough for whatever reason.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/06/26 11:13 AM
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If women can expect others to adjust their preferences to their needs, men can do it too. You can’t have it both ways.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/06/26 11:09 AM
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Awkward men get refused even when they go to women who are sitting alone in a bar. Interrupting women is clearly not the reason, not least because a charismatic man can do this to way more often than an awkward one.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/06/26 11:08 AM
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Jobs maybe, careers aren’t. You can work as a janitor or a cleaner and be financially independent. Nothing indicates that awkward men are more likely to be jackasses than charismatic Chads. But charisma privilege can help you a lot.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/06/26 11:03 AM
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The majority of women do support these measures, while also being vehemently against giving a chance to awkward men. Just because you particularly don’t, it is relevant in general.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/06/26 10:58 AM
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Which still means that it’s not kindness or deeper aspects of personality that you’re after. If you were, you’d be willing to give him a chance to prove that he’s capable of being more interesting under other circumstances. Yes, it means that you have to invest more in dating, but I don’t think it’s ultimately not worth it if you find a good partner in the end.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/06/26 10:56 AM
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Then they should at least stop claiming they are. You definitely wouldn’t die without your financial independence, so the usual argument about not dying from the lack of something is rebutted. And still, liberal states take measures to ensure that more women get a good career, and a lot of women support it, because they think they are entitled to a chance to prove themselves. And they are right.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/06/26 10:44 AM
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But if you were actually interested in kindness or his entire personality, awkwardness wouldn’t be a dealbreaker for you. And I see no reason why awkward men would be more likely to be shitty than non-awkward men.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/06/26 10:38 AM
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Do you mean that it is an obstacle if the man is nice because he wants a relationship with a woman? Does being nice to get into a relationship make it impossible to actually care for your partner?
/r/PurplePillDebate12/06/26 10:22 AM
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For the very same reason gender quotas favoring women are a thing: women are objectively speaking a risky investment for employers due to their longer absences. But if the employer is actually interested in qualifications and dedication, they should be willing to take this risk. Similarly, if women are actually interested in personality and/or kindness, they either wouldn’t mind awkwardness (by far the biggest obstacle for men in dating) or would be willing to provide an opportunity to the man t…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/06/26 10:16 AM
1

Even supposing that's true, women value charisma and status the most. And at that, their standards are noticeably higher than that of men at physical appearance.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/26 09:08 PM
3

No, simply the standards of being attractive are much lower. Men don't feel it as settling, because they are also content with being more average girls.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/26 08:59 PM
4

I think, on average, men have detectably lower standards for entering a relationship than women. Even lesbians struggle to get the attention of women attracted to other women since the high standards remain.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/26 08:20 PM
9

Many men don't have game because women have high expectations. Many lesbians don't have gane because women have high expectations even from other women and they don't know how to court because female courting culture is practically nonexistent.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/26 01:45 PM
4

I’m not saying this is right, quite the contrary. These unhealthy expectations are probably the reason why divorce among lesbian marriages is so common.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/26 11:02 AM
3

One would expect a nation fighting for its survival to be able to recruit enough soldiers without having to resort to press ganging.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates10/06/26 09:32 PM
3

I’m 90% sure the guy started out as a polite guy who respected women as anyone else who gets to have a relationship. All this brought him was years of women rejecting and people trying to gaslight him how being in a relationship and having a good sex life aren’t huge things to have.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/26 09:30 PM
2

The reason why companies don’t prefer employing women is because they are absent for longer periods for biological reasons (mostly because of motherhood), so yes, there is a good chance that employing women is a risky investment for companies. That doesn’t mean they shouldn’t give even give them a chance, as it often happens.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/26 08:34 PM
2

I don’t think trying to deny that relationships and sex life are fundamental components of a healthy psyche for the overwhelming majority of people. I do know a man who is one of the most charismatic people I know, smart as hell, a very good organizer and is in a leading position in several students organizations. Still, when he broke up with his longtime girlfriend, he was reduced to a broken alcoholic and what actually put him back on the track was finding another loving girlfriend. I think at…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/26 08:25 PM
-1

I would do it even for my friends. Helping people to get into relationships when you know they’re struggling should be a given.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/26 07:40 PM
0

At least I hope you don’t pretend kindness is the most important thing for you in a partner.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/26 07:25 PM
1

By themselves, no. The same people who support them telling men who struggle with dating that women’s dating preferences are inviolable is.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/26 07:22 PM
2

It is still often about flaunting your wealth and you can at least expect that poorer people will feel bad when you do it.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/26 07:16 PM
1

They are at least supposed to be. https://ec.europa.eu/commission/presscorner/detail/pl/ip_22_3478
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/26 07:08 PM
-1

Obviously I didn’t mean she should date her brother. But being his wingwoman and actively trying to find him a potential partner is perfectly feasible. So is telling other women that they should give more chances to awkward men for those to prove themselves.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/26 07:02 PM
2

Gender quotas for employment, for example. Women are exactly as entitled to prove their value as workforce and that they deserve a good career as men are entitled to prove their worth as partners.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/26 06:58 PM
1

It’s not a difficult question to answer.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/26 06:25 PM
12

Women overall have higher expectations when it comes to dating in general, even if their potential partner is also a woman.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/26 06:00 PM
-1

What exactly do you do to help your brother with dating?
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/26 05:37 PM
1

Beyond the obligatory “he shouldn’t have behaved like that”, had he told you the most polite and empathetic way that his life is hell because of the lack of one of the most fulfilling experiences a human being can have, would you have done anything else to help him besides being sorry for him? The easiest way to prevent such men from bothering you is stopping the process which creates them (since there is a high chance that he wasn’t always like that). People should actively try to help men like…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/26 05:36 PM
1

Then society should stop interfering with others’ preferences at other areas of life too.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/26 05:14 PM
4

Too true. ““Why do you let people call you a dog? You won’t let anyone call you a knight.” “I like dogs better than knights. My father’s father was kennelmaster at the Rock. One autumn year, Lord Tytos came between a lioness and her prey. The lioness didn’t give a shit that she was Lannister’s own sigil. Bitch tore into my lord’s horse and would have done for my lord too, but my grandfather came up with the hounds. Three of his dogs died running her off. My grandfather lost a leg, so Lannister p…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/26 02:25 AM
3

Is Ukrainian morale so low that they need conscription to maintain an effective army?
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates09/06/26 05:10 PM
3

I think it’s stupid too. I actually prefer sexual women, as long as it doesn’t happen at the expense of our relationship.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/06/26 07:09 AM
0

Then I guess men are free to be disgusted by women who don’t want to put down weight even if they are perfectly capable of doing so, therefore potentially ruining their own lives and that of their families by proxy?
/r/PurplePillDebate07/06/26 12:30 AM
10

At least I hope that someone who believes in vaccines worsening autism doesn’t call themselves liberal or progressive.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/06/26 12:26 AM
–

👆
/r/PurplePillDebate06/06/26 05:21 PM
11

You never see that because you can find another potential partner as women magnitudes easier. For many men, getting into a romantic texting with a girl is a once in a half year opportunity. That’s the same as calling women who can’t have successful careers because of discriminative selection procedures crybabies. (Also, fyi, I saw my mother literally saving the life of a teenage girl after the girl tried to commit suicide after breaking up with her boyfriend.)
/r/PurplePillDebate06/06/26 12:38 PM
1

If the Russian population was so enthusiastic about conquering entire Europe, Putin wouldn’t be so worried about calling the invasion a war and about declaring full mobilisation.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates05/06/26 03:14 PM
1

Russia invaded Ukraine because they expected it to be a cakewalk with the Ukrainians greeting them as liberators. Now they don’t want to quit because of sunk cost fallacy, but that doesn’t mean they are keen on attacking NATO-countries.
/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates05/06/26 02:25 PM
–

Not from being unattractive, but because they probably find someone who does find them attractive.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/06/26 12:02 PM
1

Yeah, that’s why the Nordic model of prostitution was introduced in several European countries…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/06/26 05:06 PM
2

It is something stated to be of exceeding importance. If assertiveness was stated to be that important, it would be more understandable, but it isn’t.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/06/26 07:39 AM
1

Suggesting that men should be reduced to 10% of the population is definitely not better than anything Andrew Tate and the like have come up with. Also, what this generally result in unjustly labelling males as predators and rapists, as well as them and their supporters getting bullied.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/06/26 06:31 AM
2

https://franklyno.tumblr.com/post/62192542728/part-1-part-2-part-3-transcript-sources https://franklyno.tumblr.com/post/61911332445/part-1-part-2-part-3-transcript-sources And mind you, those are people by and large considered important contributors to human rights by liberal society.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/06/26 12:04 AM
1

You really should do some research.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/05/26 07:39 PM
1

You really should do some research about games and anime if you think it has stuck on the level of Super Mario or Sonic.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/05/26 07:38 PM
–

Making dating for them possible definitely helps.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/05/26 04:45 PM
–

I actually thought about what I would wish for in a similar situation several times. My wish would be that women would give me a chance. The movie conveys a toxic and dangerous message by implying that men don’t want genuine relationships based on mutual love, and that women as a group have no active responsibility in solving the issue. Men don’t necessarily want women to fall in love with them or to have sex with them immediately. What most men want is a chance for them to prove themselves to b…
/r/PurplePillDebate31/05/26 11:37 AM
2

Awkward men not being chosen as partners is a very obvious example of women demanding social status.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/05/26 08:56 AM
1

Women are demonstrably more likely to be unavailable, which makes their employment an objective risk for companies. https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC11308254/ https://ec.europa.eu/eurostat/web/products-eurostat-news/-/ddn-20200708-2 It might not have happened because of the generosity of men, but the gender quotas are the result of liberal society, the one doing the most for the development of humanity, having taken up the cause, knowing well that it would violate the interests of compan…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/05/26 06:18 PM
1

Yes, and liberal society (especially other liberal women) supports the desires of those women with the quotas, even if they actually violate the immediate interests of companies. Rightfully so, but claiming that society wouldn’t function properly without these desires being fulfilled and therefore giving otherwise decent men who struggle with dating a chance to prove themselves is bad is hypocritical and selfish.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/05/26 04:11 PM
1

So you agree that companies prefer men to women (for various reasons)?
/r/PurplePillDebate30/05/26 12:37 PM
1

Then why exactly are gender quotas needed? Not that I’m against them, mind you.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/05/26 12:32 PM
1

Said by someone who probably never had problems with dating.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/05/26 09:37 AM
1

There kind of is: https://helloclue.com/articles/sex/idealpartner
/r/PurplePillDebate30/05/26 09:34 AM
-1

Obviously no one is talking about excluding all women from the workforce. Companies take as many women as it is economically beneficial for them and the women who are economically the most beneficial for them. Which means those women who prioritise their work over their families. Which means women who are willing not to have children for a longer time than they would prefer. There could be women who resign to low quality jobs or being housewives in exchange of being mothers, and there could be w…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/05/26 05:17 AM
1

If female applicants would be more likely to get accepted, countries wouldn’t need gender quotas to begin with. Also, availability and experience matter much more than education nowadays, unfortunately. So yes, companies would probably prefer men to women.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/05/26 04:18 AM
-3

Companies do make a risk by employing women, mostly because of their usually longer absence from work. Companies employing less productive people can also have economic consequences, both for them and indirectly for society. Women do have the opportunity not to look for jobs which demand them to be that productive or they can be housewives. Society as a whole probably still could function. It still doesn’t mean that this is how it should. So no, I don’t believe this is as much about maintaining …
/r/PurplePillDebate30/05/26 04:14 AM
-1

Only if you want it to be. Women demonstrably spend more time away from work than men, which makes employing them a demonstrable more risky choice. Forcing companies to employing women is an obvious infringement on their immediate interests and therefore also on those of the people controlling it. This doesn’t mean it’s not the right thing to do, but then let’s just not pretend trying to influence preferences is something women dislike.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/05/26 03:51 AM
1

“The law At the top levels of governance, laws could already be in place mandating some kind of gender quota; it just depends on the country. Take the EU, for example. In 2022, it agreed on a new directive requiring that 40% of all non-executive director positions be held by women from 2026 on. Women should hold 33% of all director positions within the same timeframe. The law is a significant step towards giving legal weight to gender quotas, and if your company is based within the 27-member blo…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/05/26 03:40 AM
-2

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gender_quota
/r/PurplePillDebate30/05/26 03:34 AM
-2

It’s not something the government should equalise, women as a group should equalise it more than it currently is. Which is actually very similar to the claim that since men still dominate politics and business, it’s their responsibility to make the lives of women at business easier.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/05/26 03:32 AM
0

By the same token, female quotas at companies should be abolished and women should go from employer to employer until someone employs them. Find a company that doesn’t mind you having children or being unavailable for a longer period.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/05/26 03:18 AM
2

There are, but if you indicate that kindness is the most important for you, then things antithetical to it should be the hardest dealbreaker. It isn’t, therefore it’s not the lack of kindness which repels you.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/05/26 02:56 AM
4

Awkwardness being seen as a dealbreaker means that it is probably not kindness they are primarily after, exactly because they don’t exclude each other. Assertiveness/charisma and awkwardness do, which implies that’s what you are actually looking for.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/05/26 02:29 AM
2

Looking for internal values is supposedly a liberal principle, which is I think the main reason why women claim kindness to be the most important for them when looking for a partner. They themselves think this is how men are supposed to be primarily selected, but when it comes to actually choosing a partner, they revert back to choosing them based on other, more superficial criteria.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/05/26 05:54 PM
1

As you can see below, most women openly claim they value kindness the most. Which is not true, I agree, but then at least own what you think.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/05/26 05:46 PM
5

It’s one of many personality traits. Many other personality traits surface only if you give more chance to the person in question to show a fuller extent of their personality. Yes, it’s possible that some people believe that they can get a full picture of someone by talking to them shortly a few times, but I think it’s more like that these people deep down know well that they are not willing to put enough effort into knowing someone’s personality as much as they claim. Also, kindness is somethin…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/05/26 05:44 PM
4

Refusing an awkward men immediately without going on a few dates with him while claiming to be attracted to personality is not better than refusing a woman after a job interview for not agreeing not to have children while claiming to be looking for qualifications.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/05/26 01:56 PM
5

There is a widespread fallacy that an oppressed group is infallible and criticising them equals to oppressing them. Liberal society, unfortunately, tends to treat women exactly like that. They should remember that a prominent Jewish group, of all people, is currently committing a genocide. Which doesn’t mean that the Holocaust didn’t happen or that antisemitism wouldn’t be a huge problem even now. But that doesn’t invalidate the fact of a genocide in Gaza.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/05/26 11:56 AM
3

They are. https://helloclue.com/articles/sex/idealpartner Kindness and fun are absolutely not necessarily the same thing.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/05/26 11:25 AM
4

Then women should stop pretending it is.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/05/26 09:34 AM
6

If women are entitled to the chance of being both mothers and successful at their careers, then men are entitled to the chance of proving themselves to be good partners. If men are not entitled to a few dates to prove themselves, womens’ quotas at companies should be abolished and women like Tess Holiday should be working on putting down weight instead of trying to be sexy in fashion magazines. Enough of the double standards.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/05/26 09:57 PM
8

Morally notably bad, but socially skilled men have way less problem with attracting women than morally notably good but awkward men. Let’s just stop pretending morality is a decisive factor please.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/05/26 09:48 PM
6

It’s painful having to admit that you cannot be a mother and have a great career and your dreams about the latter are a casualty of your having been born a woman. It’s easier to be just angry about it.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/05/26 09:44 PM
0

Would you say the same thing about a woman who would have to promise she would not have children if she wants to build a career? Because yes, for millions of men, “working on yourself” is a burden exactly as great as giving up the opportunity of becoming a mother.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/05/26 09:40 PM
2

https://helloclue.com/articles/sex/idealpartner
/r/PurplePillDebate28/05/26 02:12 PM
1

Weighting does happen though, and kindness is supposed to be the most important trait, according to polls.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/05/26 01:42 PM
8

Then at least be honest about it and stop pretending you actually care about kindness and personality more than charisma. Does admitting that mean you’re not as tolerant as liberal principles would demand? Yes, but you can’t have it both ways.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/05/26 12:46 PM
4

I do hope people having this opinion at least don’t call themselves liberals.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/05/26 12:41 PM
1

Blanket-characterising games and anime as childish in 2026 is kind of indicative of the lack of progress many people calling themselves liberals bemoan.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/05/26 12:35 PM
1

Which is also a traditionally masculine trait which is beneficial for women. To be clear, sure, it would be cool if people who intervene in such situations to defend women would always come out of them as victorious. But it’s not a given, and them not engaging doesn’t necessarily mean they wouldn’t if they were sure of a good outcome.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/05/26 09:12 AM
2

It does, it’s an answer to your claim that men having to be leaders and protectors is not something superimposed on men by women as well. Many women do prefer traditional masculinity as long as it doesn’t affect them or other women in a negative way.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/05/26 09:05 AM
3

Men having to be proactive, successful and charismatic is at least as much female as male perpetuated, not least because most women (therefore a large proportion of feminists) definitely prefer these traits when at dating. Feminists can say that they are fighting against maintaining male gender norms which are harmful for men, but actions show otherwise.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/05/26 08:22 AM
–

You can argue that. It still shouldn’t make her exempt from criticism.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/05/26 12:35 AM
–

Should we condemn the Israeli leadership for fighting Hamas the way it does? They are just fighting a genocidal enemy, and there is collateral damage in every war…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/05/26 11:14 PM
–

If feminists today would widely condemn Dworkin‘s misandry, then it would be an anachronism. Alas, she is still treated as an important contributor to the development of human rights, and her work is seen as exemplary. And believing that the oppressed can never become oppressive themselves is historical illiteracy.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/05/26 11:11 PM
–

I would say it’s going backwards in the conservative parts of the US. I can’t see a ban on abortion or women getting stripped of their right to vote happening in blue US states, Canada, Australia, New Zealand or Western Europe.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/05/26 10:58 PM
–

Again, being oppressed doesn’t give you the right to become an asshole yourself.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/05/26 10:36 PM
–

I’m not surprised, but being a victim doesn’t excuse you being an asshole. That’s exactly the same fallacy which makes many people unable to believe that Israel as a Jewish state is capable of committing a genocide. And yet… Also, considering how much sex workers themselves hate swerfs, I’m not sure Dworkin‘s sex negativity did much good for them either.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/05/26 10:19 PM
1

True that.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/05/26 03:32 PM
8

If she was willing accept my courting, then yes. Not saying “without a thought”, but she does seem to check most things I look in a woman.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/05/26 03:24 PM
6

Considering how men are expected to initiate in most forms of communication, I say yes, the issue is still gendered, even anxiety itself isn’t.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/05/26 09:33 AM
2

Truer words have never been spoken.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/05/26 09:29 AM
7

“If Indon't find him desirable? Probably not. Unless I get to know him and he becomes somehow desirable.“ This. If you actually cared about personality as much as many women claim, they would be willing to give a chance for men to show their real personalities.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/05/26 09:55 AM
2

Some do, but I would be surprised if they were the majority.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/05/26 06:57 AM
2

If you maintain a relatively healthy lifestyle, your chances of becoming a 3 as a woman from 18 to 40 are very low. Not becoming overweight, not smoking and drinking with moderation are all easier than being funny b
/r/PurplePillDebate26/05/26 06:55 AM
2

The wall existing doesn’t mean you hit it in your late twenties, unless your lifestyle is horrible.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/05/26 06:37 AM
1

A woman who is 4 can still find a partner who is 4 or 5.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/05/26 06:29 AM
2

With what, not looking like you’re in your forties when you’re actually in your late twenties?
/r/PurplePillDebate26/05/26 06:25 AM
1

My helpfulness, my kindness, my willingness to be there for them even in their darkest moments, the interesting conversations we have, the hobbies which she can share with me and yes, our sexual experiences.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/05/26 10:33 PM
9

You really need to improve your lifestyle if you age that fast.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/05/26 09:45 PM
4

You have more opportunities to find a partner from 18 to even 40 if you remain healthy than most men in their entire lives.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/05/26 04:35 PM
1

Not drinking alcohol, not smoking and not having an unhealthy diet is feasible.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/05/26 04:31 PM
–

Somehow Desmond Tutu was able to recognize and acknowledge the existence of anti-white racism and that anti-black racism doesn’t justify it. Man-hating feminists should take an example of him.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/05/26 02:22 PM
–

Yes, it is. I don’t care about bigots being bigoted and tribal, because that’s what they are. They should be fought against, not convinced. But seeing the very same behavior from liberals, who otherwise do the most for the development of humanity and champion for the downtrodden is disappointing.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/05/26 01:20 PM
–

I have never heard people calling themselves liberals not condemning Musk, Tate or the manosphere in general. But I don’t see the same liberal society condemning mainstream feminists quoted in an answer to the mod post to the same degree.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/05/26 12:59 PM
–

If actually you think so, good.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/05/26 12:36 PM
–

So when women support crimes committed by women against men, those are outliers. If it happens the other way, those men represent the ordinary man… Sure.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/05/26 12:34 PM
–

Somehow “not all men” was not exactly a convincing argument for women when the Pelicot-case came out…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/05/26 12:26 PM
–

Many of whom were women. Although, to their credit, those at least don’t claim to be feminists or liberals.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/05/26 12:11 PM
–

The problem is that while the manosphere is expected to condemn such extremism, feminism quite often gets away with it.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/05/26 09:22 AM
–

The issue is that mainstream feminist groups, those which claim to strive for equality, support Steiner.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/05/26 09:11 AM
1

Again, considering who is more dangerous statistically, you should never stop being worried about dogs or men, especially if you have become close to them. But I don’t think you would do that.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/05/26 12:00 AM
13

And you probably enjoy all that because you’re successful at dating. You get cause and effect wrong. Many unsuccessful men don’t enjoy dating because they are mostly, if not always, unsuccessful at it, therefore they go back playing Skyrim. Also, let’s just not pretend many men who are successful at dating aren’t also avid gamers in 2026, please.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/05/26 07:30 PM
14

Yeah, those with this kind of “hunter” mentality are probably those who are very successful in dating in general.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/05/26 03:33 PM
1

So are you afraid of every dog you pass by, the dirty/smelly ones or those that bark at you with their teeth bared?
/r/PurplePillDebate23/05/26 11:45 AM
0

Statistically at least, most women are raped by people close to them.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/05/26 10:12 AM
1

When you are more cautious about those people who are less likely to hurt you than those who are more dangerous, then yes, your caution is misplaced.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/05/26 10:58 PM
6

When the scope of concerning behaviour encompasses practically everything which criticises women as a group, then yes. In which case you really should reconsider whether you are defending women from harm or making holy cows of them. Especially since, again, it seems that it’s not those men who cause most harm to them are the most hated by women.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/05/26 08:38 PM
1

Yes, and if an animal attacks you, the most likely attacker is a dog. Still doesn’t mean that the frequency of dog attacks would make being cautious of dogs in general was vindicated. Also, the majority of attacks on women are carried out by men they already know well, yet more women are in a relationship than men. Therefore yes, I do think that women don’t actually fear men as much as they claim to do.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/05/26 07:11 PM
1

If it’s demonstrably only a small fraction of dogs which bite you, then yes, you being cautious about most dogs you encounter is not reasonable. Of course, if you have been attacked by a dog earlier and you have developed a phobia, it will be understandable, but still not rational.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/05/26 06:53 PM
4

The portion of aggressive dogs, especially regarding certain breeds, is very important when it comes to evaluating the actual threat they pose.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/05/26 05:08 PM
9

The statistical reality is that the overwhelming majority of men are not violent with women, yet this part is somehow very rarely included in womens’ claims about male behavior.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/05/26 01:17 PM
11

The point seems to be that you should be able to distinguish between men who harm you and men who defend you. You can claim that they do not deserve special praise for it because it’s the bare minimum, but you are obliged not to conflate those who harm you with your protectors, especially considering the latter are the majority.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/05/26 12:55 PM
3

This. It’s not that women are less prone to violence, they are just less prone to physical violence.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/05/26 12:34 PM
11

The greatest contradiction in her claim is that liberal society does recognize female-specific issues (which is absolutely right, but denying the existence of male-specific issues with this view is hypocrisy.)
/r/PurplePillDebate17/05/26 03:13 PM
–

The very fact that liberal society, the one which contributes the most to the development of humanity and which is very influential is a huge asset and the support men receive is disproportionately low.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/05/26 10:55 AM
2

Overall, I think a lot of people in general don’t age as well as they could if they took care of themselves. Not drinking like fish and smoking like chimneys would definitely help.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/05/26 01:23 PM
1

Yet more women are in a relationship than men. Which is not necessarily to imply that the sexual harassment of women isn’t a serious issue. But loneliness seems to be even more serious.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/05/26 01:20 PM
6

“Prefer” is not the same as “necessarily choosing”. Youth is just one of the factors influencing attraction. Yes, when you are trying to develop a relationship out of nothing, appearance and youth do matter. But then you still have to be attractive personality wise for the relationship to develop. Most men don’t just abandon their partner with whom they have been living together in a happy relationship for a long time just to have sex with a young woman. If men are given a chance to develop an a…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/05/26 11:58 AM
1

Because the whole “women are getting less interested in men” seems false to me. Women are interested.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/05/26 04:00 PM
1

And yet, all polls indicate that more women are in a relationship than men, and yes, most of those are heterosexual relationships.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/05/26 03:51 PM
7

Women are allowed to have MUCH more standards than men. You can’t champion for the (otherwise admirable) cause of changing gender norms while insisting on men paying for you when you could well split the bill without being a hypocrite.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/26 09:22 PM
2

If that woman also believes in changing gender roles, I am at least entitled to point out her hypocrisy. (And I probably wouldn’t date a conservative woman, so if that ever happened, calling out happens too.)
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/26 09:18 PM
0

Women wanting to be SAHMs are a small subset of women expecting men to pay the entire bill. Most middle class women could afford going Dutch, they simply chose not to, because it’s convenient for them.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/26 09:13 PM
9

Yeah, and he dared call out those advices as useless and may have expected society to actively intervene. You know, like women expect society to do so when it comes to their (otherwise often legitimate) complaints.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/26 12:40 PM
3

The fact that the dating world is as ruthlessly predisposed against men objectively needing more chance provided to them by women is a clear example. Exactly because women are an oppressed group, their thoughts and desires are seen as inviolable by liberal society, and is unable to consider women as a group needing to change their behavior as it is expected from men as a group. The thought that oppressed groups can’t behave oppressively towards members of other groups, even if that group is ofte…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/26 12:19 PM
2

You are simply the exception, not the rule and your confidence in this quite probably comes from being accepted more than rejected. Literally constant rejection conditions you to feel vulnerable, and honestly you really shouldn’t expect people to be thick skinned enough not to be emotionally damaged by it.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/26 01:34 AM
7

The thought that the oppressed can never become oppressive should really die.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/26 01:18 AM
4

I never said you had said anything like that, it was just to illustrate this general train of thought many feminists currently.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/26 01:12 AM
1

It’s all nice and dandy if you are not hurt by what people say online. Many people are not that lucky.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/26 12:50 AM
6

The entire concept of moderating posts and banning entire groups is based on the concept that people face consequences from what is said online. And consequences do not start at going on a killing spree.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/26 12:37 AM
3

The logic is exactly the same. “Misogyny has been a problem for a very long time, and it mostly comes from men, so you calling out feminists for their misdeeds against men in general equals to misogyny.“
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/26 12:09 AM
3

That’s like saying because antisemitism is a millennia-old problem and led to horrible crimes, the genocide in Gaza is acceptable. Oppressed groups can become oppressive themselves.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/05/26 12:02 AM
9

Are you saying that you don’t think what people say in online spaces doesn’t in fact have serious consequences in real life in 2026?
/r/PurplePillDebate12/05/26 11:58 PM
4

The problem is, again, that liberal society, the one which most young women identify with and the one which does the most for the development of humanity, does try to combat misogyny while routinely ignoring misandry.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/05/26 11:51 PM
2

The former one doesn’t mean you don’t love the person in question. Not having demands in a relationship is equally bad as not giving anything in return.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/05/26 10:29 PM
2

Enjoying their company is the benefit you get from these bonds. Liking or loving someone doesn’t mean you can’t expect them to like or love you equally or to maintain that relationship if you think it’s not reciprocal.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/05/26 10:12 PM
1

Why would a man need to be financially very successful to be in a relationship unless we cater to outdated gender norms which benefit the desires of women? Why is being content with a decently paying job and not having the motivation to go forward in the hierarchy is so repulsive?
/r/PurplePillDebate11/05/26 10:09 PM
2

Again, romantic relationships are transactional. Problems arise when one party expects more from the other without giving equally as much. Unconditional love actually guarantees toxic relationships.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/05/26 09:56 PM
2

No one forces you to have children the 2020s, and STIs are also easy to defend against if you’re careful enough. And no, I don’t think being a lower level technician makes anyone unworthy of the love of an average woman, or even that of a woman who makes more. The most important hindrance to such relationships is the attitude that men always have to be financially more successful than women.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/05/26 09:53 PM
1

I truly wish it was so, but alas. It’s certainly possible that the person in particular was unable to express his thoughts, but again, someone with communication issues usually has difficulty with that.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/05/26 09:41 PM
2

The two are not mutually exclusive. You can be the most valuable and lovable person imaginable if you have no courage to even ask out a girl. Knowing that your friends can vouch for you and actively improve your chances if needed is a huge motivation for developing yourself. Expecting people who have communication issues to do most of the development alone is, again, against the principles of left-wing liberalism. If those people didn’t need active help, they wouldn’t have communication problems…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/05/26 09:23 PM
2

That can be rooted in you not willing to put enough effort into helping them. If your friend whom you like expresses his desire to be in a relationship, and if you think he is a nice person overall (which you probably do, otherwise you wouldn’t be friends), it’s very hard to imagine you find him personality wise unmatchable for a long time. So he probably has communication issues, which often can be helped by his friends providing him more aid. Most misogynistic incels are not born like that. Th…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/05/26 09:05 PM
2

If your friend would let you know in the most civic way possible that he is actually suffering from not being in a relationship, would you actually try to make it easier for him to get one?
/r/PurplePillDebate11/05/26 08:43 PM
2

There are very few types of relationships that are not transactional to a degree. A romantic relationship is not necessarily about unconditional love and devotion, but the reciprocity of providing and receiving love and affection. Those men who refuse to be agreeable unless they get romantic affection are probably indeed not suitable for relationships, but you shouldn’t mistake that for not being entirely selfless in a relationship.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/05/26 08:40 PM
1

Wingman and matchmaking culture should be a common and accepted part of friends‘ groups. Matchmaking as a profession should also be accepted and widespread. And overall, society should be more inclusive towards people with communication difficulties. The current system of (mostly) “either you adapt fully or we just let you rot” goes straight against the liberal, left-wing views many people who advocate against taking the relationship problems of these men supposedly adhere to.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/05/26 08:32 PM
1

Maybe an actually liberal and left-wing society would help people not to get that far in being desperate by actually helping them at least get a chance to get into a relationship. Similarly how it helps women get a chance to get careers.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/05/26 08:18 PM
4

Most men don’t start as wanting sex immediately either. Many men who don’t get sex without paying for it would be more than willing to go slow if they were given a chance at all. “Lower class technicians” not being good enough and men paying entirely for dates give the impression that you simply want to maintain outdated gender norms simply because are beneficial for women.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/05/26 08:11 PM
1

Which would require me to either limit my pool even further or bow before outdated gender norms just because these happen to be beneficial for women… I fail to see how anyone with supposedly liberal views can support a scenario like this, but you do you.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/05/26 06:24 PM
3

No, which is exactly why many men don’t choose single mothers.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/05/26 12:11 PM
4

There are other things, but many are not that obvious initially. A child, however, is very obvious.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/05/26 11:59 AM
3

Not anything, but the average woman has the chance to find a partner. I don’t see how that is a negative.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/05/26 11:42 AM
1

How much less likely are women with whom you share interests to expect you to pay for dates?
/r/PurplePillDebate09/05/26 11:25 AM
4

Many people are not ready to be parents, and the trauma a potential breakup can bring, both for them and the child. Simple as that.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/05/26 11:21 AM
5

https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/22455182/ https://www.psychologytoday.com/nz/blog/why-bad-looks-good/202105/why-some-rape-victims-continue-to-date-their-rapist I would say “personality” should be replaced with “charisma” and “being interesting”.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/05/26 05:51 AM
-6

Neither assault nor rape are common enough to stop women from dating, and STDs are even easier to prevent than pregnancies.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/05/26 06:03 PM
-3

Ehm, no, the probability of giving birth to an unwanted child is very low and, more importantly, not lower with a man you are immediately attracted to than with someone you are not. Also, men preferring women in their twenties can also be explained by biology, but I doubt you would accept that explanation.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/05/26 04:38 PM
0

We may have a lot of experience about being rejected in spite of being nice and seeing a lot of men having girlfriends in spite of being assholes, but charismatic assholes.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/05/26 08:58 AM
1

Charisma is quite often both heat and water, and does outweigh kindness. And that’s what many men have a problem with.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/05/26 08:53 AM
1

Yes, and OP did say it’s something getting popular with incels, who are an extreme example. Most women in the Global North are middle-class, and only those living in the greatest poverty die in childbirth. You don’t have to be a trophy wife to live under materially decent conditions. I’m not saying there aren’t areas of life where women don’t have it more difficult. The difference is that
/r/PurplePillDebate06/05/26 09:39 AM
6

Yes? Why is that so surprising?
/r/PurplePillDebate05/05/26 09:20 AM
0

Maybe, but then we should stop worrying about boys being influenced by red pill influencers.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/05/26 06:57 AM
–

True that.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/05/26 03:54 AM
1

So you admit manhating is actually more tolerated than womanhating, but still claim that women have it more difficult currently?
/r/PurplePillDebate03/05/26 10:26 PM
2

That still doesn’t explain the at least ten percent difference. If women preferred being single that much, the data would indicate a difference showing that. But it doesn’t.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/05/26 03:33 PM
2

Then why are there more single men than women?
/r/PurplePillDebate03/05/26 02:40 PM
2

Meaning women don’t like being single more than men.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/05/26 02:03 PM
4

Like, yes, a well-working relationship is one of the things most likely to improve the quality of your life. But this level of hypocrisy would gall me even if I was living in such a relationship (as it is case in many men here).
/r/PurplePillDebate02/05/26 07:25 PM
6

None of the leading fashion brands would look in Tess Holiday’s general direction without the body positivity movement, which is mostly supported by women claiming to represent liberal values. No one can say this interference with standards of attractiveness was fair and men’s demands for women to change theirs are not without being a hypocrite.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/05/26 10:55 AM
4

Then do what you preach, and encourage morbidly obese women to put down weight instead of pressurising fashion companies to present them as sexy. And not a word about victim blaming when your standards result in you exploited and abused.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/05/26 10:50 AM
4

Yet more women are in a relationship than men, and yes, most of these are heterosexual relationships.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/05/26 09:58 AM
5

Then apply your own standards, and tell Tess Holiday to quit modelling until she has a healthy BMI (which, by the way, she could have probably attained with the effort awkward men have to put into dating long ago).
/r/PurplePillDebate02/05/26 09:55 AM
2

Some fundamental parts of it can’t. There are two problems here: Women are, in fact, not primarily attracted to the things they claim to be attracted to, even though this kind of attraction (being attracted to kindness and attentiveness) can be influenced. Second, there were very active attempts to influence men’s standards of what they see attractive in women by leading fashion companies. Even supposing it was unsuccessful in the end, both the intention and the effort were there. Denying simila…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/05/26 09:41 AM
1

If you would love data as much as you claim to do, you would know that the men who actually perpetrate crimes are a statistically insignificant minority of the population, and if being an edgelord is actually that common among men, women don’t seem to mind it since still more women are in a relationship than men (and yes, most of these are with men). Also, many women outright reward this kind of behavior by dating men who exhibit it. https://www.researchgate.net/publication/338348374_Women_as_ac…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/04/26 11:27 PM
5

If women actually did what they preach about, bullies would stand no chance overall and kind guys would have a chance to date, even if they are awkward.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/04/26 08:25 AM
4

Then women should stop trying to frame the whole issue as “good women vs evil incels” and stop gaslighting people how they are mostly attracted to kindness.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/04/26 08:24 AM
0

This.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/04/26 08:18 AM
5

This has less to do with women being more against violence than with women being less assertive and less determined to do things physically. Many women are neck-deep in the Epstein files, lionise murderers just because they are charismatic and/or good-looking and female leaders were not much less ruthless than their male counterparts over the course of history. They were simply less frequent overall.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/04/26 09:49 PM
1

You didn’t address the issue: in a lot of cases, being an edgelord is outright rewarded if it’s combined with charisma. If it’s so, it’s often treated as a manifestation of boldness and confidence. Moreover, let’s just not pretend you can’t find examples of women supporting things at least as antisocial as those you mentioned. Does this characterise most women? At best as much as your examples characterise most men.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/04/26 09:31 PM
0

There is no movement calling for women to see awkward men as attractive similar to what the body positivity movement is doing for unattractive women. My issue is hypocrisy.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/04/26 10:10 PM
0

They do, and women always reprimand them for it. There is actually an entire movement trying to portray unattractive women as attractive.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/04/26 08:21 PM
2

I did. I’m still waiting for liberal society to support the cause of easening dating for men as it did for, say, the dating issues women. Life is more complex than evil “Trump/conservatives/Russians/Redpillers etc.” being on the one side and good “Democrats/liberals/Ukrainians/Liberal women etc.” being on the other.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/04/26 06:51 PM
2

The difference is that when women say they are victimized, liberal society hurries to their aid, especially if said victimization is done by men. Should the reverse happen, men are dismissed by the very same society as women-hating Tate-fans.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/04/26 06:37 PM
2

This goes for selfish women too.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/04/26 06:28 PM
1

Yet heaven forbid men ever say out loud obese women are unattractive. In fact, they should be presented in fashion shows so it can be pushed down on everyone’s throat how sexy they are.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/04/26 06:25 PM
1

Most women are not not as fat as to be immediately rejected by men.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/04/26 12:13 PM
1

Yet most women are in a relationship, in spite of all the (probably valid) claims of harassment.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/04/26 12:06 PM
3

Being in a well-working relationship is at least a very good way of improving the quality of life for the majority of people. There is a reason why most women are in a relationship, in spite of frequent complaints about at least sexual harassment. Therefore yes, making people finding relationships easier should be a cause progressive communities should aim for and denying its importance is exactly one of the double standards you advise OP to call out.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/04/26 11:43 AM
1

I would call this a necessary but not always sufficient requirement.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/04/26 11:21 AM
–

Honestly, I have never understood where this “boys will be boys” thing comes from. It’s downright outlandish for me. If anything, I saw boys getting punished much more often than girls as a lazy way of taking care of any kind of troublemaking, while even the simple thought of girl bullies was something that caused teachers to go syntax error.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/04/26 04:28 PM
1

I think they would be much more enthusiastic if they were supported by women without hesitation, like gay rights are.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/26 02:38 PM
0

Yes. But it did happen, against all the odds, at federal level. In part because women took up the case without hesitation.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/26 09:37 AM
1

Different, but proportions matter. The mainstream is liberal, or at least claims to be. Most feminists didn’t come out a TERFs when Rowling did. And yes, mainstream feminism advocates for MANY minority groups, much more than the “there is only so much energy and time” argument would allow for. It’s just some groups which are beyond their compassion, for various reasons.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/04/26 11:48 PM
1

Current day mainstream feminism is claimed to be liberal, both by its most notable followers and most notable figures. TWERF and the like are not mainstream.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/04/26 11:40 PM
2

One of the basic tenets of liberalism is universality, which dictates that you shouldn’t be selective about your advocacy based on skin colour, gender and/or sexual orientation. If you advocate for most groups except for some having a specific skin colour, gender and sexual orientation, you are reasonably suspected of being biased against said group.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/04/26 11:34 PM
0

The very fact that gay marriage, which is actually something most Christian denominations are theologically against, was legalised at all caused a huge uproar among conservative Christians, yet it was carried out. Religious freedom could encompass banning gay marriage, but it can’t anymore. The religious resistance argument seems weak, especially considering that those religions which do demand circumcision are definitely not the majority.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/04/26 11:27 PM
2

The problem is that many feminist groups did come to the aid of several minority groups and advocated for their causes without even having to be asked, such as LGBTQ+ rights without having to be asked. This has never happened with heterosexual white men. Yes, most oppressors came from that group, especially regarding the oppression of women. Still, the thinking that heterosexual white men have no issues systemically affecting them and that they don’t need any help with it should disappear.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/04/26 11:15 PM
-1

So was having gay marriage legalised. And yet… A large part of this probably comes from the fact that heterosexual white men were oppressors for such a long time that even the proposition that they as a group might be disadvantaged in certain areas of life comes off as outright unbelievable for liberal groups.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/04/26 11:06 PM
0

The feminist attitude that women as a group cannot be held collectively responsible for anything as men as a group made a huge contribution to this flocking.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/04/26 10:59 PM
2

If people would put effort into highlighting how big of a bullshit it is theologically, the opinion about it may change.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/04/26 10:51 PM
2

No, it’s a remnant of 19th century anti-sexuality bullshit. Most Christian denominations don’t demand circumcision.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/04/26 10:49 PM
0

That’s a theologically weak argument, and most people know it. The overwhelming majority of the US population belongs to Christian denominations which don’t require circumcision. The whole thing is a remnant of the 19th century anti-sexuality craze.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/04/26 10:46 PM
1

Yeah, and she was absolutely not exploiting the situation by asking for more money knowing he would absolutely pay it. That’s just not how exploitation by the wealthier party looks like.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/04/26 05:24 PM
–

I would like women who love preaching about how men should put an effort into becoming more attractive would actually try to do what they are preaching about. This is not to legitimate bullying, but the fact that women are so ready to dismiss the unattractiveness of men as something only the affected men can change while downright refusing to take responsibility for their own unattractiveness is a bit galling.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/04/26 02:39 PM
–

The majority of the US population is not fat because they have an uncontrollable hunger. That’s just biologically not true.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/04/26 02:05 PM
–

No, it’s not. If women can preach about the importance of changing and developing themselves, they should do what they preach about.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/04/26 01:59 PM
2

I have nothing against spending money as long as I’m not expected to spend more money than her.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/04/26 04:27 PM
2

Most of the women who don’t date are already in a relationship. And yes, most of those are at least also with men. There is nothing wrong with investing in a date as long as the investment is equal. You are not morally allowed to exploit the desire of others for a relationship to save money.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/04/26 04:23 PM
2

Way to adhere to gender norms which benefit women for your personal benefit.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/04/26 03:54 PM
2

It’s like telling you are not entitled to save money at the expense of others who desire a relationship.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/04/26 03:50 PM
5

Because tons and tons and TONS of people want a relationship. It doesn’t mean that they wouldn’t do away with the practice of them having to spend disproportionately more money on dating than women.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/04/26 03:38 PM
-2

I mean a large segment of the body positivity movement does put a lot of effort into depicting undesirable women as desirable.. It is pretty mainstream, for women at least.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/04/26 06:06 PM
1

Most societies in the global North have money based economies, collectives and barter systems are not a point of reference. And yes, beyond a point, redistribution has no effect. But that doesn’t reaching that point through redistribution is not advisable.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/04/26 05:48 PM
1

Voluntarily or involuntarily?
/r/PurplePillDebate12/04/26 05:31 PM
0

But it’s a basic necessity for people, and redistributing it means you take some of this necessity from others who are affected by having less of it.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/04/26 05:24 PM
3

It is a distribution of money and opportunities to gain money, which pretty much does affect people, since these don’t exist in a vacuum.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/04/26 05:20 PM
0

The money involved does affect people. By your logic, demanding an employer to employ more women who don’t want to dedicate most of their attention to their job is robbing the employer of their money.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/04/26 05:16 PM
3

Neither are career opportunities, according to the same logic. You are not entitled to the money of an employer. All employers need workers who would dedicate most of their lives to their work. Does that mean women have to choose between having a career and having children? Yes. Is this an acceptable mindset? No, but many do use this logic way too often.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/04/26 05:09 PM
-2

“The hypocrisy comes from right "free market" people who want a state mandated girlfriend like a communist” Honestly, those wanting “socialism” on the labor market but demanding capitalism at dating are not better overall.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/04/26 04:58 PM
2

Spontaneous desire is human. The question still isn’t if male desire is active or reactive. It’s about female desire, so whether men are more attracted to supermodels is irrelevant.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/04/26 05:56 PM
2

The question wasn’t if men have spontaneous desire. It was if women had it.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/04/26 09:22 AM
1

There are more women in a relationship than men, and yes, most of these are heterosexual relationships. So either women are content with not being loved or they are actually loved.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/04/26 07:43 AM
1

It means exactly that men find a much wider range of women attractive than you think. Also, I talked about forming long term relationships. Yes, physical attraction is important in those, but it can abate. Physical attraction is usually the first step for men, and being young, relatively well kept and not morbidly obese is not something most women up to their late thirties struggle with.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/04/26 11:18 PM
0

Men are much less picky about women than you presume. Even an average woman in her mid-30s gets more attention than an average man with a decent job but, say, no desire to become more than what that job requires. A woman has much less to do to form a relationship in which her physical appearance doesn’t matter as much later than a man has to do to get into a relationship where charisma and money don’t matter as much later.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/04/26 10:32 PM
2

So being abused to the degree the average woman is abused is still not enough for them to stop dating, proving that being alone is still worse than being abused as much as the average woman is? If so, we agree.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/04/26 08:10 AM
1

How does that answer the question?
/r/PurplePillDebate01/04/26 10:20 PM
3

I never said I would try literally everything. But I would be willing to go through what the average woman has to go through to find a compatible partner.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/04/26 12:03 PM
3

Since I’m not gay, sexual compatibility is kinda dubious.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/04/26 11:58 AM
5

Autistic women are better at masking in a large part because women leaving behind traditional gender roles is encouraged at least by liberal society, and autistic women quite often do exactly that. Most women, regardless of political and social affiliations, still expect men to fulfill traditional gender roles if they want to be seen as a suitable partner, which is often made impossible by autism. Also, nobody says you should stay in an abusive relationship forever. But being able to go through …
/r/PurplePillDebate31/03/26 08:24 PM
9

If I had to go through a few abusive relationships to get a loving and sexually compatible partner at the end, I would go for it. And so do women who still date in spite of the dangers of sexual abuse.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/03/26 04:34 PM
11

Just to be clear, I’m not saying abuse of women isn’t a serious issue. But being without romance and/or sex seems to be even worse for everyone who is not asexual/aromantic.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/03/26 04:11 PM
1

It’s not about being together with your abuser, it’s about being willing get through abusers to get an loving partner instead of choosing celibacy.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/03/26 11:18 AM
9

Depends on the method, but if you include verbal harassment, it can be up to 80%. Yet most women do date. In fact, 46% of autistic women are in a relationship, which again implies that they are willing to put up with some abusive relationships if they can find a loving partner in exchange later.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/03/26 10:44 AM
16

Why do women themselves continue dating in spite of the constant threat of sexual abuse, according to statistics?
/r/PurplePillDebate31/03/26 10:22 AM
9

Some is the keyword here. Most women do date in spite of being exposed to regular sexual abuse, based on statistics.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/03/26 10:15 AM
10

Because if it’s as unsafe as you think and abuse is at least as bad as being alone, one would presume women, especially autistic women, would simply quit dating. They don’t, which implies that either the abuse is not as serious as they claim to be or being alone is still the worse option.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/03/26 10:03 AM
9

Yet it doesn’t stop them from dating, which does imply that even women subconsciously think that being without a partner is still worse than being as abused as they are.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/03/26 09:57 AM
13

Hot take, but honestly it’s not as obvious as you believe. As an autistic person, I have experienced abuse and conflict my entire life. If I had to put up with additional abuse in exchange of being able to find a romantic partner, I would take it. Life itself is toxic for autistic people, the possibility of finding a partner is worth enduring some more.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/03/26 09:42 AM
2

I mean that women demonstrably stated and state that kindness is the most important aspect for them while looking for a partner. Which is, again demonstrably, not true. You can have the excuse of limited options under poor economic conditions, but the situation is not much better under any circumstances.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/03/26 07:08 PM
5

If being a felon is not a negative enough to outweigh any positives they might have, then socially awkward people are better off without pairing up with people who think like this. If a criminal whose actions are known to their environment is more attractive to you than any awkward, but decent person, you really are the last one who should talk about introspection.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/03/26 06:49 PM
1

Problem is that being virtuous is not the best way to draw women’s attention even in an entirely middle class environment either.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/03/26 06:44 AM
5

No one mentioned not having any positives. A lot of romantically and/or sexually lonely men are decent people with decent jobs and friends. And yes, if you would rather date a felon than a socially awkward man, the problem is with you, even by your own logic.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/03/26 06:31 AM
1

The difference is that men are much more open about their preferences. Women do tend to claim that kindness is the most important aspect for them in a relationship, while it quite probably isn’t.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/03/26 04:21 AM
1

A lot of wealthy people became wealthy because they offer something which people actually want. The argument that these people don’t own anyone a cent because they managed to create their own success and others didn’t holds exactly as much water as saying unsuccessful men are not owned more chance when they do exactly what women claim to be attractive.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/03/26 04:16 PM
–

Humans can develop themselves. Similarly how men are expected to go to therapy, women can bring themselves to become better people by consciously trying to appreciate different things with attractiveness if it leads to them being attracted to bad men more often than good men.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/03/26 01:35 PM
3

I know. Being kind and respectful should be some of the most attractive traits in men.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/03/26 01:51 PM
4

Maybe if it was what made someone attractive to begin with, more women had the chance to be with loving and good partners.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/03/26 01:46 PM
5

Most men are capable of talking about different topics. They might not be cracking jokes which make the whole room rolling with laughter or they might not sing so good at karaoke nights that they make you wonder how they haven’t started a singing career yet, but they might be able to open up to you and make a valuable partner who loves you honestly and is able to maintain a well functioning relationship.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/03/26 01:26 PM
3

Actually, the thing is that being nice and respectful are the least important things for many women. They can do as they please, but they really shouldn’t say they haven’t been warned.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/03/26 01:18 PM
2

I’m willing to bet many those guys become angry and “misogynistic” when they realize that being nice and decent is simply not enough to be seen as a partner, contrary to what women themselves claim.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/03/26 01:12 PM
5

So women think there aren’t enough stable, reliable men to begin with, but they are still more likely to be in a relationship than men (and yes, most of those are heterosexual relationships), simply because they prefer the company of men who they find entertaining… Honestly, the problem here does lay in being stable and decent not being enough for men to be attractive to women.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/03/26 01:06 PM
1

Prostitution can very much be a need for people who can’t experience sexual intimacy any other way. The fact that you provide this experience for people, many of whom are probably very grateful for it, makes it a perfectly legitimate job if it’s served to those who actually need it.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/03/26 09:25 PM
1

By that logic, buying any products or services which involve workers risking discomfort, injury or even death should be equally condemned. And there is a lot of those. Unless you think sexual trauma deserves more empathy than injury or death.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/03/26 04:52 PM
5

That’s my greatest problem about statements like this too. Sex work does objectify people, but so do many other jobs, even to a greater extent. Many people routinely risk life and limb so we can enjoy the quality of life we currently do. Unless people against sex work consider physical injuries or death less serious than sexual trauma, they shouldn’t condemn the customers of prostitutes more than they condemn the customers of roofers, loggers or maintenance workers. And no, this doesn’t justify …
/r/PurplePillDebate06/03/26 02:10 PM
2

A fallacy which won’t stop being a fallacy just because many believe it. Going to sex workers can have very legitimate reasons. A polite, well-mannered and progressive man not being able to experience one of the most joyful experiences in life is certainly one of these.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/03/26 06:47 PM
–

You are a very good person then. But only a drop in the ocean I’m afraid.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/03/26 10:59 AM
–

The body positivity movement needs an equivalent with a movement trying to show that men different from the standards of women also can be attractive. And it’s not necessarily about appearance, but things which women find more attractive, that is, charisma, success, financial status and the like. There has never been a movement similar to body positivity trying to depict awkward, autistic men as attractive to women as, say, Tess Holiday was supposed to be attractive to men. And believe me, autis…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/03/26 10:54 AM
–

I think they are delusional. There is a reason why the body positivity movement also puts a huge emphasis on trying to present overweight women as sexy and attractive. Some of these are unable to present themselves as attractive simply because of their excessive fat, but the intention is definitely there.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/03/26 10:50 AM
–

“I guess the point would be to have an internal belief that your bald head (or whatever feature) is beautiful which is not reliant on external validation of any kind.“ Which would be delusional. Most people simply can’t persuade themselves that they are valuable in any way without external confirmation. That’s just deceiving yourself.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/03/26 10:40 AM
0

“there will be so much more women than men in society, that women gonna start competing who can be the best trad wife again, in order to not be the one who’s left over.“ This should be programmed to appear with epilepsy inducing shining letters to everyone who claims hypergamy is defensible.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/03/26 12:58 AM
2

Men wanting to have sex with younger women is also “just biology”, you know. If you oppose that but support female hypergamy morally, be warned that you can’t have it both ways.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/03/26 12:48 AM
2

Exactly. Believing that you are more likely to expect better treatment from a man who can choose (and therefore get rid of you exactly because of that) than from a man who can’t (and who is therefore incentivised to put a huge effort into a relationship they have finally been able to get) doesn’t hold more water than explicitly expecting a better treatment from a lonely man.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/03/26 12:38 AM
1

You being down for it doesn’t change the fact that liberal society, by and large, doesn’t support men to the extent it supports women. The notion that oppressed groups cannot behave oppressively themselves is one of the most harmful fallacies in history.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/02/26 11:06 PM
1

If most people avoid you because you have piercings, then yes, the problem is with them, not you (unless piercings demonstrably go hand in hand with serious psychological or physical issues, which they don’t). Positives can and should also be considered morally binding. The way men have to bear the majority of the burden at the initial stages of dating is problematic, it can and should be changed.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/02/26 03:02 PM
1

One would think if you believe feminism isn’t supposed to be about that, you would have denied it when someone outright states that…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/02/26 02:51 PM
1

It’s about your reply, not your overall post.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/02/26 02:39 PM
4

Splitting the bill on a date is subjugation of your free will only if you are ridiculously entitled.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/02/26 02:37 PM
2

She practically agreed that feminists don’t actually care about equality. Again, I don’t think this is what feminism is supposed to be about, but she seems to agree to it.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/02/26 02:33 PM
2

Feminism is supposedly about equality, which does presuppose pointing the same force at a different group. Otherwise, you deny the freedom of choice from the group to the same degree it is denied from your group.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/02/26 02:11 PM
2

She didn’t deny that feminism is not about equality, but female superiority. I don’t think that’s what real feminism is about, but she seemingly does.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/02/26 02:08 PM
6

Or feminists should start holding women adhering to outdated dating norms accountable even if they benefit women. It’s supposed to be equality, after all, not female supremacy.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/02/26 02:35 AM
4

If you openly claim that is what feminism actually is, do you actually claim that it’s actually female supremacism disguised as progressivism?
/r/PurplePillDebate28/02/26 02:31 AM
3

But it’s mostly them who demand their partner to be always at least as productive and well-earning as them.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/02/26 03:01 PM
2

About point 1 and 2: supposedly anti-red pill women do have quite similar beliefs, with the statements about women replaced with similar ones about men in point 2. The difference is that women making these claims are rarely ever held accountable for them by the very same liberal society which is very quick to condemn Red Pill and its indeed misogynistic elements. Therefore, an ideologization of women's behavior on part of both liberal society and many liberal women does try to overrationalize wo…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/02/26 10:06 PM
0

The important nuance is that sex positivity regarding male sexuality per se is often not only not supported, but outright demonised by liberal society.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/02/26 09:19 AM
0

True. Unfortunately, when mainstream society talks about sex positivity, it’s only positivity about female sexuality in the majority of cases.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/02/26 09:17 AM
1

Interestingly enough, I see as much sex negativity from liberal society as “angry sexless basement dwellers”. There was a post here not long ago about British legislation regarding things affecting mostly male sexuality (prostitution, porn, even erotic anime art), which strongly implies that these legislators actually believe all of that is inherently exploitative and a witch hunt is the only solution.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/02/26 09:14 AM
–

For me, sexual and sexually experienced is a plus, but not a must. Having commitment problems is bad, but so is chastity, both are incompatible with the type of reltionship I want.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/02/26 08:49 PM
1

[ Removed by Reddit ]
/r/PurplePillDebate08/02/26 09:45 AM
–

Then you shouldn’t talk about children when none are involved.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/02/26 02:06 PM
–

You don’t consider that child and overall mortality were different from what it is now. When having enough children is a conscious and necessary aim, then yes, men are going to choose younger women to have as many children as possible. Now men do find younger women more attractive, but that doesn’t mean they will leave their aging wives as soon as they see a younger woman available.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/02/26 01:59 PM
–

What exactly is a “child” for you? A 30 year old woman going out with a 52 year old man doesn’t involve children by anyone’s standards.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/02/26 01:47 PM
–

Yep, the hypocrisy is strong here.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/02/26 01:40 PM
3

I don’t think lovebombing is actually that effective (if anything, it’s rather repulsive to most women), but even if it was, putting all that effort into forming the relationship and then realizing that your partner is actually incompatible with you is not a joyride for men either. But it’s a part of dating, unfortunately.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/02/26 06:03 AM
5

It’s just semantics at this point. A lack of sexual attention in the long run causes serious suffering and needs to be addressed, regardless of where exactly it is supposed to be located in the pyramid.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/01/26 10:38 AM
1

Most will, yes.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/01/26 10:32 AM
1

Show me 100 28-year old virgin men and 100 28-year old virgin women and ask them if they suffer from the lack of sex. I guarantee you the difference will be almost nil.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/01/26 10:30 AM
0

Then why do sites of advocacy groups for disabled women highlight that it’s everyone’s right to satisfy their sexual desires and outright encourages disabled women to use the services of sex workers? Sex can be bad for women, but the orgasm gap didn’t stop women from trying have satisfying sex, since, again, women don’t seem to have less sex than men.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/01/26 10:07 PM
2

A negligible one. Most women would be as starved of sex as men.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/01/26 06:51 PM
2

Short term, maybe, but if you extend the observation period to, say, fifteen years, starting from an age of 18, the difference will be negligible.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/01/26 06:39 PM
2

This distinction is far from being as sharp as you think. Nobody wanting you for years with everyone else around you finding a partner is at least as painful psychologically as physiologically, and it does become a psychological need so strong that it practically affects your psychological health as much as any serious psychological issue. I have never seen any proof of women tolerating involuntary celibacy as much better as women disparaging men for their desires claim them to be. It’s simply t…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/01/26 05:46 PM
0

The implication that sex is not a basic need for women is false. Sexual hunger takes longer to kick in with women, but it does kick in.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/01/26 03:39 PM
-1

This is only one part of the problem. There is a difference between the sex drive of men and women, but it’s not large enough for women to be able to tolerate involuntary celibacy much better than men. What this difference does account for is the fact that women in their prime experience involuntary celibacy so rarely that they almost never realize what a basic need sexuality is. Women resort to very similar methods when they experience years long involuntary celibacy. Studies also show that wom…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/01/26 02:20 PM
2

So that’s why sites describing the rights of disabled women talk about the rights of using the services of sex workers and conventionally unattractive passport sisters go to Jamaica to get local gold digger boys… Women are simply not exposed to involuntary celibacy due to being able to find a sex partner in their prime. Those who are not attractive enough resort exactly to the same methods unsatisfied men do.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/01/26 01:38 PM
1

Lower than that of men. It doesn’t mean non-asexual women would tolerate years of involuntary celibacy much better than men.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/01/26 01:30 PM
1

Do you think you could have shaped Wilson to be a good partner? Felons are exactly the danger you expect yourself to be protected from.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/01/26 09:38 PM
1

They are quadrillions of times more likely to be good partners than convicted felons and mass murderers.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/01/26 09:16 PM
1

Bold of you to assume that non-dark triad men whose only “crime” is not looking you in the eye and being awkward are somehow more dangerous than this) or even Wilson. You are not really helping refute claims about hybristophilia here…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/01/26 02:41 PM
1

This. At least I won’t waste my time and effort.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/01/26 03:22 PM
5

True.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/01/26 03:21 PM
–

Liberal society, the one responsible and truly capable of doing something for the development of humanity, fights misogyny, while does much less to fight misandry. If even the most progressive parts of society ignore several problems affecting men, what hope is left?
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/26 07:47 AM
1

If anything, I would be happy if people were more tolerant of men earning less than their female partners. Demanding men to be always more competent than women is one of the greatest cancers of dating currently.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/26 12:26 AM
2

Especially since nowadays, even bridge trolls have to be seen as beautiful, but for an average man it is strongly advised to start with actually below average women. I know OP means well, but the fact that many average women feel themselves above men who fulfil all the requirements they have for a good a good partner which makes men appreciate dating advice from women ever less.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/01/26 03:34 PM
–

Hell nah. There are some things which are naturally more geared towards men (such as bodybuilding), but overall, if anything, several subcultures, such nerds, should spread as far as possible. It’s very sad that even nowadays, even otherwise educated and well-situated people see anime and video games as if they were for kids and not pastime activities other educated and well-off people can enjoy and make their lives richer with.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/01/26 01:22 PM
–

Treating romance and sexuality as something not a need and trying to make those people who are excluded from them believe it’s okay to be excluded from them is kind of similar to reeducation camps aimed at “converting” gay people to the “right way” and is probably one of the reasons liberalism is losing men at an alarming rate. “Ask me how I know” They won’t ask you, because you don’t know. There is not a single human being on this planet who would not feel miserable if they knew they are destin…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/01/26 10:57 PM
2

A lot of these men probably did try to change. The problem is that, contrary to men’s expectations towards women, women’s preferences are treated as something not to be interfered with. Therefore, women are often dismissive of men who don’t fulfill every single requirement they have, as it can be seen from the case of your friend. Misogyny of course doesn’t help and should be fought against, but not every criticism of women’s dating behavior stems from misogyny.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/01/26 07:37 AM
3

As the other commenter noted, dating doesn’t suck equally for everyone. And again, many men are initially open to getting to know women before. The problem is that they are never given the opportunity to date, let alone to have sex and/or relationships. The prospects of many red-pilled men are much worse to begin with than you seem to believe.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/01/26 09:19 PM
7

I think in a way, it is. If rich people are not completely entitled to their money, people better-off at dating also own those who are less fortunate at least more chance to start a relationship and/or have sex. If nothing else, prostitution could be regulated, made completely safe for everyone involved and legitimized. If we accept people risking life and limb on a daily basis as a part of their jobs, legitimizing entirely safe prostitution with little-to-no risks for anyone is a completely leg…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/01/26 08:58 PM
8

As many people should have the same chances as possible. Your pursuit to financial stability can also be viewed through very different perspectives. A Reaganite libertarian would say laws forcing companies to take the risk of financial losses due to having to employ young women who go for a maternity leave soon or Denmark even providing apartments and a relatively decent income for you until you find a job are all serious violations of the economic independence of hard-working people. Progressiv…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/01/26 08:16 PM
11

Sex with someone who is willing to do it with you is one of the most fulfilling experiences in life, especially if it happens in a relationship.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/01/26 07:46 PM
–

You can have live a fulfilling life without your financial independence too. Women themselves result to male prostitutes or become passport sisters if they have to live in involuntary celibacy. They are lucky they don’t have to experience it as often as men.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/01/26 07:43 PM
7

The issue really is whether you would care about their misery if they were as progressive and feminist as it would suffice for you to call them good people. Because more often than not, the answer is no. And exactly that’s why many of those initially decent men turn to red pill and misogyny. I’m happy if you are not one of those women. But many of them are, unfortunately, not like you.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/01/26 07:35 PM
4

Nah. In fact, I would be all over the moon. This not only presupposes that she is willing to initiate, but that she loves me so much that she goes against conventions.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/01/26 09:33 AM
2

You are a good person.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/01/26 10:04 AM
1

A lot of shy men did try to talk to women before. They repeatedly face rejection because, contrary to what they generally claim, they appreciate assertiveness much more.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/01/26 10:02 AM
2

This word needs more women like you.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/01/26 07:30 AM
0

Men being forced to always initiate by social norms upheld by women too is probably a huge part of the problem though. His condition may not have always been this serious, but was worsened by several not very kind rejections. Before that, he could have been better at talking to women without having been additionally traumatized. Way too many people don’t understand how devastating frequent rejections can be.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/01/26 07:28 AM
1

Because liberal society, the one which is the most likely to call out and combat bigotry and intolerance, tends to ignore homophobia coming from women, while constantly holding men accountable for it. And that’s practically the scenario with several social issues. The double standards don’t get lost on the male audience, who understandably lose their trust in liberal ideas, however good they otherwise are.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/01/26 10:40 PM
3

Yes, women also pay for it if they have nothing to lose. It doesn’t mean they are not in a problematic situation, often beyond their control. “Sex workers – are workers who offer sex and sexual experiences to people in exchange for money or other things of value. People with disability have the same rights to access sex work services as everyone else. For many people with disability, accessing a sex worker can be therapeutic and beneficial for their health.” https://oursite.wwda.org.au/sex-and-y…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/12/25 04:56 PM
5

Not getting any voluntary sexual or romantic attention from anyone you find attractive is not voluntary celibacy.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/12/25 04:39 PM
5

Then let’s call it no voluntary romantic and/or sexual attention on part of people you are attracted to. Women don’t tolerate it better than men.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/12/25 04:33 PM
7

So women don’t tolerate involuntary celibacy better than men? Good, then you don’t dispute that.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/12/25 04:15 PM
7

Keeping things secret is not as easy nowadays. And the main point is that women don’t tolerate involuntary celibacy better than men. They just don’t experience it as often.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/12/25 04:11 PM
4

There are literally more women than men in relationships. Nothing implies women would tolerate years long involuntary celibacy than men.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/12/25 02:01 PM
5

There are more women in a relationship than men. Even if all of that is true, it doesn’t stop women from dating by and large.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/12/25 07:14 AM
75

Women claimed to value kindness the most in long term relationships. Not financial status, not charisma, but kindness. https://www.businessinsider.com/what-women-really-look-for-in-a-partner-study-research-2019-7#:~:text=Researchers%20analyzed%20the%20answers%20from,72.3%25%20of%20women%2C%20respectively I don’t think they claimed the truth, either intentionally or unintentionally. What the study and your question together highlight is that women’s standards are often very different from what th…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/12/25 12:10 AM
0

Feminism disregarding and oftentimes outright downplaying the issue of woman on man abuse is harmful towards men.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/12/25 06:15 PM
0

If it’s done by Christians, circumcision is not a religious practice, or at least not one practiced by the most common denominations. I don’t think it can be protected by any law about religious freedom in the majority of cases in the US.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/12/25 02:21 AM
1

Women do claim it’s especially kindness, not charisma, not look or monetary status which they value the most in long term relationships. https://www.businessinsider.com/what-women-really-look-for-in-a-partner-study-research-2019-7#:~:text=Researchers%20analyzed%20the%20answers%20from,72.3%25%20of%20women%2C%20respectively.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/12/25 01:08 AM
1

[ Removed by Reddit ]
/r/PurplePillDebate27/12/25 12:53 AM
1

[ Removed by Reddit ]
/r/PurplePillDebate26/12/25 05:45 PM
4

Even statistics refute the claim that women are better at handling involuntary singleness than men. Even according to the most conservative estimates, there are some 10% more women in relationships than men.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/12/25 01:33 AM
7

OP also highlights that the real problem is the juxtaposition of single men and women and the hypocritical claim that women take romantic and/or sexual loneliness much better than men. Yes, intimacy is a basic need and yes, an actually developed and liberal society would try to help those who lack it instead of putting all responsibility on them by only giving them advice about what they should develop about themselves (not necessarily a bad thing by itself, but mostly worthless without meaningf…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/12/25 01:26 AM
-1

I meant there is a difference between gang-bangs and piss sex specifically.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/12/25 02:52 PM
2

No truer words have been spoken, I must say.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/12/25 02:47 PM
-1

There is a difference, but wouldn't you call someone messed up if they "only" watched specifically bestiality porn instead of actually committing bestiality? Also, gang-bangs and piss sex are not exactly at the same level of depravity inho.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/12/25 02:44 PM
1

Agree, but then say this to several women here who regularly shame men for watching porn.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/12/25 02:38 PM
3

"It's not porn if it's a fictional novel" Since when? Written pornography is a thing.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/12/25 02:35 PM
–

It has been a movie trope at the very best. It has never been given the moralistic load of helping people in need inherent in the body positivity movement.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/12/25 03:09 PM
–

I’m not sure, as body positivity movement itself has a dubious effect. Nevertheless, the notion that “trying to influence the sexual preferences of others is unethical” is at least hypocritical.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/12/25 01:44 PM
–

No. https://www.psypost.org/how-a-woman-dresses-affects-how-other-women-view-her-male-friendships-study-suggests/ https://academic.oup.com/jcr/article-abstract/37/6/921/1868588?redirectedFrom=fulltext&login=false And calling women undesirable is much less acceptable than doing the same with men.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/12/25 01:36 PM
–

Because you can’t claim “you can’t influence people’s preferences” when there are obvious systemic attempts to do exactly that when it comes to women. But I’ll go further: the “you won’t die without sex” argument has exactly the same merits as the “you won’t die without financial independence” argument.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/12/25 01:34 PM
–

And those who can’t for various reasons deserve the same treatment as morbidly obese women who are featured in fashion magazines. All women’s issues are taken up by society, regardless of how small a minority they are. Enough of the double standards, please.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/12/25 01:17 PM
–

When you see liberal society getting mobilized for women’s issues (a right thing by itself), but stubbornly refuses to do the same for men’s issues, you can’t help but note that advice is not enough.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/12/25 11:30 AM
6

Problem is that women regularly imply or even openly declare that they like kindness the most, when it’s obviously not true. That would be bad enough by itself, but liberal society, the one which indeed usually does the most for the development of humanity, mostly considers women at the very worst the lesser evil compared to heterosexual men, and usually their word as a group is taken for granted and sometimes even as instructions for practices. Men lack this influence on the single most impactf…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/12/25 03:58 PM
2

It does, because you never have been in the situation of being constantly rejected and receiving at the very best only very few positive feedbacks. Because then you would know why your point doesn’t stand.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/12/25 07:57 AM
3

So some rejections, then a lot of positive feedbacks, and your first two relationships failed because of the lack of actual interest on your end…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/12/25 07:33 AM
3

Tell me you had satisfying relationships despite rejections without telling me you had satisfying relationships despite rejections…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/12/25 07:20 AM
1

Women like that are few and far between, and they also prefer dating normies. And again, women and movements women support often openly berate men for and aim at changing their preferences, all in the name of equality and inclusion.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/12/25 07:18 AM
–

Not being able to work for years in the near future objectively decreases your value as a worker if we judge the situation purely by the standards of economics. It’s not even fundamentally about gender. Men with medical conditions creating the same situation are treated exactly the same way by employers if they are allowed to. If you are willing to to violate the standards of employers, women’s standards should not be sacrosanct either.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/12/25 05:37 PM
–

And somehow those who claim sex is not a basic need are always those, regardless of gender, are those who can have sex with people they find attractive if they really wanted to, while those who actually recognize it’s fundamental importance are those who can’t. Also, it’s not impossible for women wanting to have children to restart their career again even without any laws specifically supporting them. Maybe they won’t make CEOs, but they can find a decent job if they upgrade themselves enough to…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/12/25 05:04 PM
–

Sorry, but by your logic, women should just as easily accept that they might never be able to build a career as men, or at least not if they want to have children. If we were as laissez-faire about work as many women want relationships to be, it would be perfectly acceptable for employers not to have workers who might be out of work for years, and others demanding them to change their preferences is a violation of their economic freedom. Which it isn’t, but people simply stop claiming interferen…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/12/25 03:13 PM
-1

Pointing out that what women say and do regarding dating is often at variance with each other doesn’t necessarily translate to what you say. Nobody forces women to claim they appreciate kindness the most when it comes to long term relationships when at least charisma is more important for them. No one forces women to support obvious interferences with male sexual preferences while deriding every reciprocal attempt made by men. No one forces women to demand employers tailor their demands for wome…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/12/25 03:00 PM
-1

Having to repress your desires for a romantic relationship because standards are inviolable (even though they are obviously not in other cases) kind of destroys your confidence.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/12/25 05:42 PM
-3

And it’s a lot harder to be proud of your social standing if it depends on meeting impossible standards.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/12/25 03:37 PM
1

I would say the body positivity movement, especially in areas of life which obviously impact sexual attraction, such as the fashion industry, do attempt to influence male sexual taste. Even if I believed this was initially to make an end to the harassment of obese people, the two are inseparable, and I do have a hard time believing the supporters of obese women being shown in fashion shows are not aware of this. Also notice how overweight men are not represented in a similar way, and how feminis…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/12/25 11:35 PM
1

The very same feminists would be outraged if men declared it’s up to women to improve their situation. And they would be right, but expecting men to take care of their issues completely on their own at the same time is hypocritical.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/12/25 10:12 AM
–

“Teenager” seems to be a very flexible category. Treating a 20-year old like a 14-year old is both infantilizing and pear-clutching. A 20-year old dating a 30-years old is not the same as the same man dating a 14-years old.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/12/25 07:26 PM
1

OP herself doesn’t deny that “obnoxious assholes” (sic) find a partner easier than “Kind Guys”. Neither did you actually. You claimed that they might be unkind only in the outside, but they may be kind to their partners, which I tried to rebut.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/12/25 07:21 AM
1

If you are content with being together with someone who is an obnoxious asshole (sic) to most people besides you, you should contemplate whether you actually value kindness, especially if you consider yourself a liberal, which presupposes the appreciation of kindness towards all average people. Also, if you are that willing to look beyond superficial traits when it comes to obnoxious assholes, you should be able to do that with awkward, but kind men as well.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/11/25 03:39 PM
1

Depends on proportions I think. When you can see what percent of people are successful at attracting potential partners in spite of them being unkind, you are right to question the validity of kindness as an important factor.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/11/25 09:58 AM
1

When you are taught that kindness is essential to successful human interaction and you see people being very successful without it, you are right to call out those who still claim it to be important. Also, wanting a prize doesn’t make anyone a bad person. The overwhelming majority of people do good things because they receive at least the psychological reward of feeling virtuous in return. Those who demand others to do things without reward are often those who never fail to get rewarded for thei…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/11/25 01:52 AM
1

Interestingly enough, the small minority of women who can’t persuade men to fuck them also experience it as a trauma.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/11/25 01:42 AM
2

He is talking about the general social acceptance, or rather, the difference in the degrees of acceptance. I don’t see how “tall people exist” is supposed to be an effective defence of heightism, given that there are also plenty of women who meet the standards the body positivity movement fought against (and that’s without mentioning how female body positivity promotes the other extreme of unhealthy bodies with Tess Taylor and the rest). And considering how men literally broke their legs to beco…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/11/25 03:28 AM
4

Not hiring women if they’re about to give birth in the foreseeable future has more to do with employment based on the natural laws of economics than having to hire them.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/11/25 06:51 PM
13

Then women should stop complaining why no one wants to date single mothers and why employers are wary of women wanting to give birth soon. Life shouldn’t be less fair to men than women.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/11/25 03:09 PM
–

Not more than 5% of US women are as obese as Tess Taylor. Obesity is a wide spectrum.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/11/25 08:21 PM
–

The fashion industry is probably risking losses with such artificial interventions. Yet they do it because social pressure is so strong. Employers are just as entitled not to employ someone who probably won’t be able to work for years as women are entitled not to date socially awkward men. Wanting complete equality at work but opposing it when it comes to dating is hypocritical.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/11/25 10:50 AM
–

Male body dysmorphia is simply underresearched, but it does exist and it is underresearched exactly because everyone, including supposedly progressive women, thinks it doesn’t exist. Women’s standards probably do contribute to this and it proves that liberal society does care about the problems of women more than that of men. Also , the multi billion dollar fashion industry is willing to risk huge losses to appease obese women by featuring them on their ads. No, it’s not because of any market be…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/11/25 10:02 AM
–

Again, trying to artificially influence people’s preferences is a thing. The body positivity movement was able to influence the multi billion dollar fashion industry to risk losses just to try to present morbidly obese women as attractive. Similarly, many feminists who detest autistic men would be probably outraged if an employer would reject an applying woman because she wants to have children soon. Whether such interventions are feasible is another story, but the hypocrisy is clear.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/11/25 09:22 AM
–

Women do care about how men see them physically at least as much as how other women evaluate them. Wanting to be sexually attractive to the people you yourself find sexually attractive is one of the basic principles of fashion.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/11/25 11:31 PM
–

The multi billion dollar fashion industry going at great lengths to try to present even morbidly obese women as attractive doesn’t imply that.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/11/25 11:25 PM
–

We really should stop pretending trying to convince men that conventionally undesirable women weren’t actually undesirable wasn’t a thing. Also let’s not pretend exerting pressure to artificially limit natural selection is often not expected by many current feminists either. Many of them would probably frown upon an employer asking of a potential female employee when she plans to give birth, and even more if she wasn’t accepted because she actually plans to give birth soon. All that even when lo…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/11/25 11:22 PM
–

Again, considering how the body positivity movement was actively trying to influence men’s sexual preferences, I say that is at least hypocritical.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/11/25 11:00 PM
–

No, women can have sex with attractive men practically every week. Except for the physically attractive ones, which do resort to exactly the same practices they are so ready to berate men for. Some of which practices can be done ethically, I believe, such as escorting, which is why I have nothing against it as long as it is done ethically. But it is not the same as someone being honestly attracted to you. And yes, the answer to that is that women should bring their standards down. Yes, it is pos…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/11/25 09:59 PM
11

That fails even at a mathematical level. There are vastly more men attracted to women than men attracted to men. And women do have the possibility to have sex with attractive men, and they react exactly the same if they can’t get sex at all, see disabled women seeking out male escorts in Australia or older, unattractive women going to sex trips to Jamaica. Enough of hypocrisy.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/11/25 08:48 PM
6

Another reason why you shouldn’t take every lonely man as another Andrew Tate. Men not liking fourth wave feminism doesn’t necessarily translate to them wanting a traditional arrangement. What Tate is correct about is the hypocrisy of said feminism, but criticizing that is possible without wanting to relegate women to bangmaids.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/11/25 10:34 AM
1

OP openly states that women can and probably will resort to this too, even if they would use it differently. I personally wouldn’t, but can’t bring myself to condemn the people who do as long as the AI is not sentient and doesn’t have actual emotions.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/11/25 10:22 AM
4

Edit: Doublethink exists, unfortunately, and exactly that’s why many see many manifestations of feminism as actually gynocentrism. Feminists fighting patriarchy when it harms women but advocating for it when it’s about the roles of men is very widespread.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/11/25 04:29 PM
4

And do you think men and conservative women were right about not caring or often downright impeding the struggle of women wanting equal rights?
/r/PurplePillDebate11/11/25 09:53 PM
1

If feminists are not obliged to care about men’s rights, don’t be surprised if MRAs don’t care about women’s rights. Neither of them should be exclusive to their own gender imho, but that’s where this attitude leads to. Also, prostitution doesn’t have to be about raping sex trafficked minors. It is often like that because in most of the countries the prostitutes come from it is not regulated at all, and police does an abysmal job at fighting it. If men weren’t pressured, they probably wouldn’t c…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/11/25 09:43 PM
1

Being fucked up doesn’t give you the right to fuck up others. Feminists should learn that.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/11/25 09:02 PM
2

By that logic, manosphere also exists only online. Expecting men to be more competent and successful than women is something which most conservatives and liberals actually agree about.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/11/25 08:58 PM
–

Considering the active attempts of the body positivity movement (something caring almost exclusively about women) to portray conventionally unattractive women as attractive, this seems rather hypocritical.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/11/25 11:24 PM
–

Education and communication are a thing. The solution is not “let’s hoard sex toys and let men rot.” And you won’t die without a home either, but I don’t think you would bring that up to a homeless person. The “it could be worse” argument should die.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/11/25 11:20 PM
–

I wouldn’t necessarily say oppressing men is a conscious goal. It’s more like a blind spot about a group which historically has been indeed oppressive and the inability to acknowledge that the oppressed can become oppressive themselves.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/11/25 03:52 PM
–

Unfortunately, the Venn diagram of conservatives, regardless of gender, believing that men always have to be successful, charismatic and productive and liberals, regardless of gender, believing that men always have to be successful, charismatic and productive is almost a circle.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/11/25 03:44 PM
3

This doesn’t mean you can settle only for a high level of desirability. Being more attracted to a high level manager than to a call center agent is natural, but not settling for the call center agent even if he is kind, still makes a decent income and treats you well because you really need a high level manager is your decision.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/11/25 07:58 PM
1

Even supposing that’s true, the point about autism still stands: if influencing dating tastes can be supported in the case of the body positivity movement, it can be done in the cause of autistic men as well.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/11/25 05:16 PM
7

64 % of US men between 18 and 29 are single. No, this goes beyond autism. About autism itself, see my earlier comment.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/11/25 09:32 AM
2

Again, considering how much the body positivity movement cares about making obese people attractive, expecting society not to change their views about autistic men is at least hypocritical c
/r/PurplePillDebate03/11/25 09:26 AM
5

Most men are willing to have a long term relationship. And nothing here contradicts that the lack of desirability stems from women having high standards.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/11/25 11:57 PM
1

Still doesn’t mean that obese women, especially those promoted by the mentioned ads, would be attractive for men in general. https://simple.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fat_feminism
/r/PurplePillDebate02/11/25 11:27 AM
2

There were multiple replies distinguishing between requirements and preferences, and my reply clearly does. Nowhere was this distinguishing forbidden in the post.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/11/25 01:46 AM
2

It’s a preference, not a requirement.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/11/25 01:33 AM
1

Requirements: Age 20-33 Has at least a Bachelor’s degree Is interested in history, sociology, anthropology, fantasy, science fiction or anime Not obese or unhealthily thin White, preferably light-skinned Liberal, but is willing to criticise the blind spots of liberal society Preferences: Is into fiction writing Sexual, but without too extreme kinks or fetishes C-cup natural breasts
/r/PurplePillDebate02/11/25 12:47 AM
0

Sure, that’s why fat feminism is a thing and that’s why a multi-billion dollar industry is willing to risk losses just to appease obese women.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/11/25 12:10 AM
1

Women have claimed to appreciate kindness the most in general. And I believe it’s you who fell for the WAW effect if you actually believe that many kind women don’t fall for asshole men.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/11/25 07:44 PM
2

You missed the point. If women were actually as attracted to kindness as they provably do, they wouldn’t even consider dating an asshole, however attractive he otherwise might be.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/11/25 04:57 PM
2

Do you know how much effort a man has to put into looking good in general, let alone for dates in particular ? A hell of a lot of training, taking care of facial hair, body care, body fat level optimally at 12% (I daresay it actually requires an even stricter diet than that which women have to maintain to look good)…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/11/25 04:40 PM
2

But attractive men can afford to be rude. Which still pretty much contradicts everything many women say about their dating habits.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/11/25 04:22 PM
4

Yet somehow conventionally unattractive women have an entire mainstream movement supporting them with fat feminism and actively featuring them in clothing advertisements and in fashion shows. There is a whole lot of double standards here.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/10/25 08:44 AM
1

Dated once is just not the same as having a healthy amount of options. 28% of young men haven’t had sex for a year. That’s not what most young men would agree to by choice. And no, it’s not because men have objectively fallen that much behind women. Yes, more women are employed and have a college degree, but the actual difference is way smaller than the percentage of single and sexless men. And considering the support objectively below average women get from fat feminism and obese models being f…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/10/25 11:46 PM
0

[ Removed by Reddit ]
/r/PurplePillDebate29/10/25 10:09 PM
0

Don't confuse competent with nice either. A lot of those charismatic people are the worst kind of manipulators and abusers. And they are well-aware their charisma might get them out of any resulting trouble.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/10/25 09:46 PM
2

Still much better than having no options at all.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/10/25 02:44 PM
6

I would wager most women engage in it during their college years.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/10/25 12:07 PM
4

Choosing the right partner from thousands of potential ones is still easier than choosing one from zero potential ones. I do agree that men should pay attention to the pleasure of women, but still, women are much better off when it comes to dating. Proportionally, men need more help in this regard than women.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/10/25 11:45 AM
1

Pettiness? Women in general don’t want less sex than men.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/10/25 09:42 AM
2

I honestly doubt that would be your opinion if no one was willing to have sex with you.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/10/25 12:00 AM
–

The problem is not that being impressive is a plus in dating. The problem is when you refuse to date people who are not above you at least to a degree. And based on statistics, I see that many young women simply refuse to consider dating men who are not above them at any field. I have recently spoken with a woman here who claimed women shouldn’t bring their standards down because men are falling behind women in general. Yes, there is a trend, but the main caveat of the phenomenon is that althoug…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/10/25 11:46 PM
1

Society being able to create an order where we don’t rape whoever we want as long as authorities don’t pay attention is not the same as being able to, or even should, try to make one of the most basic instincts of a sexually reproducing species vanish. Wishing the overwhelming majority of people to forgo this instinct completely is just not possible.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/10/25 11:30 PM
4

Gates has 3 children, Bezos has 4. Putin is officially childless, but probably has several unacknowledged children.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/10/25 11:13 PM
2

No sexually reproducing species does it because they explicitly want to, or at least because they are aware that they do what they do to reproduce, ultimately. They are doing it because they’re trying to fulfill an instinctive call.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/10/25 11:10 PM
3

You can turn this around quite easily: you can do all of those things, but unless you are asexual or aromantic, you probably will still feel there’s something missing from your life. See how disabled women seek male prostitutes, and undesirable women go to Jamaica for sex tourism. That’s why the whole “just learn to live with the lack of sex if you’re a man” is fallacious. And yes, I do believe that sexless men, especially young men, deserve more care than women on a social level, simply because…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/10/25 11:06 PM
–

But women pretty much do control dating. It’s not equal. They worked for those because they believed they would be a better position if they work. As long as patriarchy doesn’t hinder that process, many of them don’t care. They are perfectly content with toxic masculinity as long as it serves their interests.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/10/25 10:19 PM
–

They do if they want a relationship, or at least sex. And the problem remains: many women who fight against patriarchy do it only as long as it hurts them, or at least as long as it is up to others to change. As soon as it’s about something specifically they as women have to change about themselves, it’s natural and should be left alone.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/10/25 09:38 PM
–

So an equal number of women and men in high positions and as caretakers is not something feminists supposedly strive for?
/r/PurplePillDebate27/10/25 08:17 PM
–

So women have to be the the caretakers, while men have to be in a better position status-wise? It pretty much seems like defending a mostly traditional social model just to avoid admitting that women’s standards regarding dating are often unhealthy and go against the principles they supposedly follow.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/10/25 07:54 PM
–

But even if they didn’t want to be extraordinary, women would expect them to be. Sexism is a huge part of the problem.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/10/25 07:49 PM
–

Or maybe, maybe non-autistic people get integrated into society, like supposedly liberal and progressive people like to emphasise so much. Yes, it’s harder than going to protests, voting for certain candidates and financing transportation designs suitable for disabled people, but it’s doable.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/10/25 07:15 PM
–

And there are women who would smash an autistic guy. Most wouldn’t, though. The same goes for men and obese women. So yes, fat feminism and those ads are an active attempt to influence male sexual preferences. And if that’s progressive and to be followed, so is advocating for women to give a chance to autistic men.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/10/25 06:59 PM
–

Fat feminism and clothing ads featuring obese women beg to differ if you can connect the dots.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/10/25 06:45 PM
–

How is your categorisation above not a description of tradwives?
/r/PurplePillDebate27/10/25 06:38 PM
–

So many women would rather be tradwives than admit they have unhealthy expectations and tone them down?
/r/PurplePillDebate27/10/25 06:32 PM
1

Women in the very few cases when they can't get sex: https://www.bbc.com/news/disability-65422489 https://oursite.wwda.org.au/sex-and-your-body/information-for-supporters-and-services https://oursite-easyread.wwda.org.au/sex-and-your-body/sex-and-consent/sex-therapists-and-sex-workers/ It seems women are also just their pussies after all. Sex is a necessary, but not sufficient part of life. That's something many women never realize, as they can get sex pretty easy.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/10/25 07:37 PM
1

A fantasy, sure, but one you would definitely not expect from women who supposedly desire freedom and independence. Most men don’t claim not to be at least interested in combat related topics, and definitely don’t condemn it as something oppressive to men in general.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/10/25 02:20 PM
1

Doesn’t change the fact that it is bad and actually way worse than many presume. The assumption that it doesn’t have negative effects because it is not physical violence is false.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/10/25 01:38 PM
3

I edited the comment.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/10/25 06:40 PM
9

If the argument is that “because porn has real life harmful effects” then it is a correct answer, since romance novels probably do have a harmful impact on society. Physical violence is not the only form of harmful effects.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/10/25 06:32 PM
2

Let’s just not pretend James Bond movies didn’t appeal to women at least to a degree similarly to how romance books do. It’s not like Brosnan, Moore or Craig weren’t popular with women.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/10/25 06:23 PM
13

And women having unrealistic expectations of men, even if only partially because of romance novels, does have a negative impact on society. The argument that “it remains a fantasy while porn doesn’t” is moot.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/10/25 06:18 PM
13

Without dwelling on how healthy BDSM itself is, it is interesting how many women were in Fifty Shades even though it is universally detested by actual BDSM practitioners.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/10/25 06:12 PM
1

This doesn’t mean women should immediately reject a man who is shorter and/or in a worse financial position. And they do exactly that by dating older and/or supposedly financially better-off men, even though the pay gap is actually rapidly shrinking.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/10/25 06:36 AM
2

Problem is that you get no real help for your frustration in most of the cases. The real solution would be educating women and girls that their standards and dating customs are not healthy. And no, considering how there are actual feminist movements and advertisements promoting obese women sexually, I don’t think it’s that impossible to try to influence romantic and sexual behavior in a targeted way.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/10/25 12:11 PM
2

Are you allowed to say that current dating culture is toxic without being called an incel (so to avoid generalising)?
/r/PurplePillDebate20/10/25 11:51 AM
4

Yes. But this again boils down to men having to foot all the work, even if they are medically proven to be having difficulties with it, while women are entitled to all of their expectations. And no, considering how there is an actual movement within feminism itself which promotes fat women and there are actual clothing advertisements featuring obese women, I don’t think actively trying to influence romantic and/or sexual tastes is such a no-go.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/10/25 06:34 AM
8

And a woman usually has nothing to work on during those years. That’s why the comparison fails.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/10/25 10:21 PM
13

The fact that you have to pass shit tests to begin with tells a lot about how problematic the expectations are.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/10/25 10:17 PM
7

A very poor analogy. Women tend to be unattractive because of aging mostly after 35, so they have like 20 years when men are throwing themselves at them. Not even a healthy man would be able to attract that much attention ever in his life in average.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/10/25 10:07 PM
1

⁠Nobody says women shouldn’t have a right to abortion. But if she didn’t use protection (or was deceived) AND didn’t have an abortion under these circumstances, it’s on her, not the father. ⁠I don’t think young women do, otherwise there wouldn’t be as many single young men while most young women are in a relationship. I think most young women would either date someone who is above them or remain single.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/10/25 02:34 PM
2

Women are very unlikely to give birth if they don’t want to and have access to protection and abortion. If she still does, it’s her responsibility. And the access to romantic relationships is not less important than careers.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/10/25 02:00 PM
1

Women can also use protection and should have the right to abortion. If she still gives birth, then it’s her responsibility alone.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/10/25 01:24 PM
1

So you say women are shorter and earn less, and if things were fair, every man would be taller and earn more than women. How exactly is this not catering to hypergamous tendencies? Even if it was a typo, the payment gap between genders is decreasing, while young men are mostly still single, and their prospects are mostly the same as those of women in that age. I say yes, female hypergamy does exist and is a serious problem.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/10/25 12:50 PM
3

Women are equally responsible for preventing unwanted pregnancies. The state should care for the child the most if it still happens.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/10/25 11:10 AM
2

Women are free to say no to a man who says no to protection. If she isn’t, it’s rape, and a different thing. I don’t think women have less opportunities to prevent unwanted pregnancy. I agree that government support would be the best solution here.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/10/25 11:02 AM
2

It’s simply not true that women have less sex than men. They are just more picky about whom they have sex with. Protection is a thing in 2025, it’s not like you are in a significant danger of getting pregnant when you have sex. It happening is equally likely to be the fault of the man and the woman, therefore men and women should have the same rights to say no to parenthood. Yes, women may stay alone with the baby, but it’s still better to get government assistance or give the baby up for adopti…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/10/25 10:55 AM
0

I believe women having objectively higher standards is a more important factor.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/10/25 10:17 AM
1

You really shouldn’t assume that most of these men are virgins by choice.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/10/25 06:54 AM
5

I think it’s the other way around: guys become incels in a large part because they are treated as red flags ab ovo.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/10/25 06:55 AM
1

I can assure you that 99% of people wouldn’t tell if I’m a virgin or not. But you really should stop saying that society is not to blame for the resentment virgin people feel by not stopping all forms of virgin-shaming.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/10/25 10:45 PM
1

If the majority would actually take the effort to help the minority, like they so often do and did in other cases, there would be no resentment. Expecting those to bear the burden of changing the status quo who are provably less capable of doing so goes against the principles of progressiveness.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/10/25 10:28 PM
1

Problems are that there is a huge number of people who ridicule you for it and that the very people who are otherwise extremely enthusiastic about helping others somehow expect you to be proactive most of the time.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/10/25 10:22 PM
6

A lot of virgin men have those feelings because everyone makes them feel they are failures. And getting this reaction from women who claim to be so much against the patriarchy while definitely not being against certain elements of it is just off-putting. There is a tremendous hipocrisy there which is simply very hard to ignore.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/10/25 10:16 PM
4

It's a bit hard not to let your wirginity weight you down when virginity is treated as something to be worried about. And yes, society can change their view about this, just as they did with a whole lot of things.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/10/25 10:06 PM
1

Because standards which exclude such a large proportion of the population are not healthy or justified.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/10/25 09:35 AM
1

They can, but that doesn’t mean they should.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/10/25 08:30 AM
–

This.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/10/25 08:18 AM
1

No, it’s about having to bring down your standards to an average level from an extraordinary level.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/10/25 08:10 AM
1

It pretty much does, since you’re required to try people who you otherwise wouldn’t be attracted to. Also, bringing your standards down when you can’t afford to have them anymore doesn’t mean that you don’t have high standards to begin with.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/10/25 06:21 AM
1

I never claimed that. What I did claim was that you can never be as honest with your friends as with your lover.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/10/25 04:59 AM
1

Romantic relationships are supposed to be deeper at all fields by default, I think.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/10/25 04:49 AM
1

This.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/10/25 04:17 AM
0

Why are men not doing that? Because in the end, you need to do something that is not fun to most, goes against desires and requires long term thinking and delayed gratification. You can argue women won't bring their standards down for exactly the same reasons.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/10/25 10:44 PM
2

Most humans don't want money as much as sex or intimacy. But even if they did, presupposing that those beyond the poverty line wouldn't want to do everything if they saw a way out is rather harsh. Also, there are exceptions, but going by trends is not a stupid thing. There is a reason why Hume warned everyone not to try to logically refute induction, even if it actually doesn't make sense by pure logic. Our life would collapse. What does make trends unusable in real life is false data, which wom…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/10/25 10:43 PM
1

You might be asexual or demisexual then. Completely legit, but most people aren't like you.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/10/25 09:38 PM
0

I think your connection to the person you're in a well-working romantic relationship is deeper by default. 95% of friendships will never be at that level.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/10/25 07:13 PM
1

Yes, I mostly mean well-working relationships vs friendships. In the latter case, I would also choose friends.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/10/25 07:07 PM
0

I think expecting your partner to be everythink for you with healthy alone times is more likely to work out than having only friends and no one they can be romantically involved with. Yes, the ideal situtation is having both, but it's annoying having to see people advising lonely men to try to replace romantic connections with something else. It simply doesn't work.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/10/25 07:03 PM
0

I do have friends who I'm pretty close to, both male and female. Thing is, everything I can get from them I could get from a well-working romantic relationship, and also more.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/10/25 06:58 PM
1

So isn't prostitution one of the greatest evils known to humans?
/r/PurplePillDebate12/10/25 06:50 PM
2

Those are all things you can get with a well-working romantic relationship, and then more. It's not bad that you have friends like these. I also have. But they can never replace a well-working relationship.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/10/25 06:48 PM
-1

Finding friends may be easier, but the experience of being with someone I can be way more honest than with my friends, the experience of being more intimate than with my friends and freer to do what I want than with my friends outweight the negatives. If I knew the investment is that profitable, I would be willing to bear the costs.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/10/25 06:34 PM
-1

I truly believe I do. But it can never replace a well-working romantic relationship and he thinks the same.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/10/25 06:30 PM
-1

The "my partner is my best friend" comments do imply they don't really get the difference. In scenario B, he could never be your partner. Question is, would you choose him as a partner or a best friend?
/r/PurplePillDebate12/10/25 06:27 PM
-1

They don't even attempt to understand it. The "I would choose B if I didn't have a partner already" illustrates this well.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/10/25 06:25 PM
0

A sexless romantic relationship is still above a friendship. And with scenraio b, you could never have been more than friends with your partner.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/10/25 06:15 PM
0

Yes, I would. But if I had to choose between him and a well-working romantic relationship, I would choose the latter without hesitation. And probably so would he. That's exactly the 'it could be worse" argument I'm talking about. The solution of not having a romantic relationship or sex is having a relationship or sex.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/10/25 06:11 PM
-3

I actually think they really don't know the feeling of knowing they actually can never have sex, let alone a romantic relationship.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/10/25 06:06 PM
2

Temporary solutions can help, but they will never beat real solutions.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/10/25 05:58 PM
1

No. Expecting others, especially those who pride themselves in being progressive and thus open to the pain of less fortunate people, to listen to your complaints and try to help actively if needed is a legitimate desire. And it matters a lot how many people get an objectively good thing. If you see everyone has it around you, you have the right to declare that life is unfair.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/10/25 05:57 PM
2

It can always be worse. That's why it's a fallacy.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/10/25 05:48 PM
3

Quite usually there is though. FWB would probably be satisfactory enough not to complain about loneliness. But it's beyond their control. But it simply cannot stop sucking when you know there is a thing which is the literally the most satisfying in the world and you know you probably will never get it. Especially since so many people around you can get it.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/10/25 05:39 PM
3

I do have a friend like this, actually, and I have been thinking that he is literally the closest thing I ever have to a romantic partner. Still, it's not enough. He feels the same, by the way. Neither of us would forsake the friendship, but we don't pretend it fulfills all of our needs.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/10/25 05:33 PM
-5

They are easier to find, but less rewarding overall. The issue of depending on one person for happiness is at least possible to be solved with alone time, maybe actually alone time (as in, doing things which make you happy alone), then, when you're ready again, you can be together with your partner again. Yes, being able to have both friends and a romantic relationship is the best scenario. But being friendless with a romantic partner has a much higher likelihood of being fulfilling than having …
/r/PurplePillDebate12/10/25 05:28 PM
1

I agree that people should choose wise before marrying. This doesn't negate the fact that "find hobbies, find friends" and the rest are not solutions for romantic loneliness.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/10/25 05:19 PM
1

85% of people cannot affort not to have children? Or they cannot have "alone time"?
/r/PurplePillDebate12/10/25 04:56 PM
1

And "overall" was also a kicker. An overall well-working marriage is rewarding overall, in spite of all the difficulties.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/10/25 04:55 PM
2

At least a chance. And women in general have a good chance of finding someone they can start a family with if they want.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/10/25 04:52 PM
-2

And what can't your well-working romantic relationship provide which your friendship can?
/r/PurplePillDebate12/10/25 04:46 PM
1

Not like not getting together with someone like you would be a great loss.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/10/25 04:45 PM
1

Yes, but they still can choose to divorce and find an actually well-working relationship. Just not the same as never having had one.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/10/25 04:36 PM
-4

I want women themselves to admit it.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/10/25 04:34 PM
3

And they have the opportunity to divorce and start another romantic relationship.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/10/25 04:32 PM
-5

Fair, but I don't think you're in the majority (unless you're aromantic and/or asexual).
/r/PurplePillDebate12/10/25 04:30 PM
2

Because a lot of those people are still lonely in spite of having good friends.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/10/25 04:29 PM
2

And a lot of men have very good friends and still yearn for romance. "It could be worse" is an argument which really should disappear altogether.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/10/25 04:27 PM
1

Just as I expected.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/10/25 04:26 PM
0

You are not obliged to have kids in 2025, and you can afford not to have them. Also, "alone time" pretty much exists with couples.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/10/25 04:24 PM
1

So people should stop pretending friendships are more important than romantic relationships.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/10/25 04:17 PM
2

No, but it can never replace a well-working romantic relationship, unless you are asexual and/or aromantic.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/10/25 04:10 PM
-3

Because a lot of women also assume good friends can replace sex life as well. Because I do have scenario B, but much rather have scenario A, as probably most human beings. We really should stop pretending friendships can ever replace well-working romantic relationships.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/10/25 04:09 PM
2

Would you choose him or all of your friends?
/r/PurplePillDebate12/10/25 04:02 PM
0

My thoughts exactly. And exactly that's why "just find some good friends" as an argument against men's complaints about loneliness should die.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/10/25 04:01 PM
0

I would say it's actually A, which I also would choose.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/10/25 03:57 PM
-2

Protection shouldn't be a problem in 2025. And if self-pleasure replaces real sex for you... Well, you do you.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/10/25 03:56 PM
1

I would guess because you can afford it with men, who have lower standards in gay and bisexual relationships too.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/10/25 11:48 AM
–

Yeah, anything but having to call women out for something.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/10/25 06:09 PM
–

Which doesn’t mean it’s wrong. Not adhering to unhealthy standards is not a bad thing.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/10/25 05:30 PM
–

Women giving a chance to more guys than right now for a few dates is oppressive only if you feel entitled to unhealthy standards.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/10/25 04:50 PM
–

People can want bad things, and others do have the right to tell them they want bad things.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/10/25 04:49 PM
–

Liking sex and liking sex with only a small group of people are not the same. I never understood the obsession with n counts, to be honest, to an extent, it’s even attractive (meaning she enjoys sex and is sexually experienced).
/r/PurplePillDebate11/10/25 04:46 PM
–

Yet society downright doesn’t care about their problems even if they are the most docile and progressive people.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/10/25 04:30 PM
–

Yes. That doesn’t mean you can’t be called out for having harmful opinions.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/10/25 04:03 PM
–

The motion that women have too high standards is still treated as an anathema.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/10/25 04:02 PM
–

No one said I didn’t do any self reflection. But it’s downright galling how people ignore society’s responsibility in the problem of sexually frustration and loneliness of men. And it’s usually the very same people who jump to aid others who are wronged by society.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/10/25 03:55 PM
–

Yes, people with privileges tend to take those privileges for granted. It doesn’t mean they aren’t privileged. And yes, attractive people do get away with more than non attractive people. Denying it is really futile.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/10/25 03:39 PM
–

Yes, it’s possible you meet those standards. Survivors bias is a thing.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/10/25 03:34 PM
–

Easy to say when you don’t have to meet sky high standards.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/10/25 02:58 PM
–

“Creep” very often refers to men who are unable to meet the high standards of women. And yes, much more men should enjoy the benefits of romantic relationships than they do now.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/10/25 02:39 PM
–

And the criteria you use to choose who belongs to that circle are so specific that you leave the majority of people freezing in the cold without sweaters.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/10/25 02:28 PM
–

Men who can get sex and romance and the overwhelming majority of women are the majority, even if only a slight one.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/10/25 01:58 PM
–

Why is it the majority’s problem to solve the problems of any minority? Most progressives would agree that this approach is morally bankrupt… Except when it comes to men with no romance and sex.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/10/25 01:14 PM
–

Stop pretending like it’s not painful and admit that it’s at least as much the fault of women with too high standards than their own. Blaming these men solely for their suffering is morally deplorable.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/10/25 01:04 PM
–

Problem is, you do give a lot of sweaters. All of them to a rather narrow clientele while claiming you give them to a wide range of buyers…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/10/25 12:58 PM
–

I meant if they were not behaving like incels.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/10/25 12:57 PM
–

Would you care about their pain if they were progressive model citizens beyond what their lack of success at dating?
/r/PurplePillDebate11/10/25 12:55 PM
–

Considering a sweater to be equal to human intimacy shows how much you don’t understand the issue.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/10/25 12:50 PM
–

Because they don’t voice their pain. Let’s get honest about it, most people would behave the same way incels do if they were in their shoes.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/10/25 12:48 PM
–

Yes and when women mean personality, they quite often mean only charisma. And exactly that’s why they end up with men who are actually not suitable for long term relationships for various reasons. And Bruce’s obsession with crime fighting is definitely one of them, so no wonder all of his romantic relationships are extremely toxic (among other reasons).
/r/PurplePillDebate11/10/25 10:53 AM
–

Bruce Wayne as a main character in a billionaire classic novel would show that women are actually more interested in charisma and appearance than personality. Personality wise, Bruce is a severely traumatised man who uses his crime fighting activities to keep his madness at bay. He’s quite probably unable to form genuine romantic relationships. Average billionaire heroes are at least not immutably mentally scarred, even if their value on axis Z is zero.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/10/25 08:22 PM
–

Women explicitly claim they value these the most, a measurably false claim. https://pancakemouse.wordpress.com/2017/10/30/mythbusting-women-actually-care-about-physical-attractiveness-more-than-men-do/ And young liberal women reading romantasy books with conventionally physically extremely attractive male characters while frowning upon men writing about conventionally attractive female characters is clear cut hypocrisy.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/10/25 07:57 PM
2

No. Women claiming they care about kindness and intelligence and being vocal about their superiority to male desire while they are not less inclined to be led by the same drives is hypocritical, but very common. And romantasy is a genre extremely popular among young women right now. The very group which claims to be the one of the most liberal and progressive ones.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/10/25 05:57 PM
2

No. What’s intolerable is double standards and a pretension of superiority. They quite often pretty much are. Romantasy stories, the audience of which is overwhelmingly composed of young women, are full of conventionally attractive male love interests.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/10/25 05:29 PM
2

Men are actually saying that women are just as visual as men and that male and female gazes are actually not as different as many people claiming to be progressive say. But it would mean they are actually just as shallow as men. And it’s kind of disheartening to see how supposedly progressive stories are at the same level as all of the previous ones.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/10/25 05:16 PM
2

Maybe those scenes are filmed that way because women are just as visual as men, even if they don’t like to admit it because they don’t want to be seen shallow. And therein lies the issue of dating apps as well: women by and large don’t hate athletic men posing half naked. It’s just it’s often a necessary, but not satisfactory requirement for them. And just to mention one example of supposedly progressive double standards: Shadow and Bone is full of representations of LGBTQ+ people, people with d…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/10/25 04:41 PM
3

You can acknowledge that women cause a large portion of men’s problems without claiming all of them are caused by women. There can be overlaps even.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/10/25 09:05 AM
–

Women’s rights were not the concern to most men, but I don’t think you would agree if someone said it wouldn’t have been better if more of them had been supported it. Enough of double standards, please.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/10/25 07:09 PM
2

The grandfathers who beat their wives if those ever opposed them? Strange how gender roles are supposed to change when it comes to women, while men are supposed to adhere to their traditional roles as long as these are beneficial for women.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/10/25 04:51 PM
2

Claiming personality matters the most when quite often it’s just charisma is also shallow.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/10/25 04:42 PM
–

You can have a happy and fulfilling relationship with average people. If you want to date only upper-echelon people, that’s discriminative and the problem is with you.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/10/25 09:05 AM
–

Just as men can be warned about toxic masculinity and not to perpetuate it, women should be warned about high standards when it comes to dating. It causes a lot of suffering for a lot of men, and goes straight against the progressive principles these women supposedly follow.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/10/25 05:52 AM
1

Would you break up with your partner and condemn yourself to celibacy right now?
/r/PurplePillDebate07/10/25 11:22 PM
–

By catered I mean mostly dating. I’m not saying women are not expected to put effort into other things. But the point still stands that holding women as a group accountable for anything is frowned upon by liberal society. And this unaccountability has a very negative impact at least when it comes to dating.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/10/25 08:08 PM
–

And don’t you think it would be objectively better for everyone if most people would be progressive? I do. But you can’t be progressive for one group and conservative regarding another.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/10/25 07:49 PM
–

And don’t you think it would be objectively better for everyone if most people would be progressive? I do. But you can’t be progressive for one group and conservative regarding another.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/10/25 07:49 PM
0

So do you think men not supporting women when they fought for equality was right? Also, do you think it’s healthy to incentivise people to be interested only in above-average people?
/r/PurplePillDebate07/10/25 10:29 AM
4

I presume you wouldn’t be exactly happy if lgbt+ people were treated according to “traditions”. Or women. You can’t have it both ways.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/10/25 10:23 AM
7

Women quite often don’t exactly strive to change it either, exactly because a lot of masculine expectations, combined with no explicit expectations for women, result in them being catered.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/10/25 10:20 AM
7

Treating virginity as a red flag is pretty much virgin shaming, even if not explicit.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/10/25 05:48 AM
7

Why exactly is it “okay” for women to treat virginity as a red flag, while men calling out other men for their virginity is virgin shaming?
/r/PurplePillDebate07/10/25 05:29 AM
7

So you are practically virgin-shaming right now?
/r/PurplePillDebate07/10/25 05:25 AM
1

So you do admit that men’s need for romantic intimacy is not something men put themselves into, but rather a legitimate, innate desire? If so, you should also admit that the real solution is not looking for friends.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/10/25 10:18 AM
-1

I think it’s about trying to convince men that well-working romantic relationships are not something special compared to anything else.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/10/25 11:00 AM
2

Ample, but enough? Knowing that you probably can’t find another partner ever?
/r/PurplePillDebate05/10/25 07:02 AM
0

Would you feel your friends satisfy all of your needs (not necessarily sexual) if you knew you could never have a romantic partner?
/r/PurplePillDebate05/10/25 06:53 AM
3

Would you feel your friends satisfy all of your needs (not necessarily sexual) if you knew you could never have a romantic partner?
/r/PurplePillDebate05/10/25 06:51 AM
3

It is a basic human desire. After a while, it simply cannot be not debilitating, especially seeing how others get it basically without effort.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/10/25 06:48 AM
5

The quantifiable differences are actually marginal.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/10/25 09:36 PM
1

I highly doubt 67% of women between 18 and 29 would be pretty blondes. And FYI, most women I’m currently attracted to are pretty average.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/09/25 04:32 PM
2

Based on statistics, high school sweethearts are not exactly common in the 2020s.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/09/25 05:32 PM
2

I can assure you, at least a large portion does see it as a disorder, especially if it comes to dating.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/09/25 09:30 AM
–

If we necessarily need alcohol to relax enough to socialise, then we really have to reevaluate what society expects and should expect from young people when it comes to socialising.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/09/25 05:15 PM
–

You can go out with your friends without drinking alcohol (I do exactly that).
/r/PurplePillDebate26/09/25 05:00 PM
–

I dispute they would be as serious as to cause such disparities.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/09/25 04:39 PM
1

I don’t know for sure. What I do know is that even the Orange Menace can get into a relationship, while millions of decent men are left behind.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/09/25 03:53 PM
–

This whole “men are falling behind, so women shouldn’t bother trying to date them” seems like a weak excuse for women to adhere to their unhealthy standards. The actual difference between the employment and college enrolment of men and women are 9 percent, yet the disparity between single men and women aged 18-29 is like 34%.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/09/25 03:42 PM
–

The majority of the men mentioned are at least open to a committed relationship. Those who actually don’t want to settle down are a very small minority.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/09/25 01:01 PM
–

https://www.pewresearch.org/short-reads/2023/02/08/for-valentines-day-5-facts-about-single-americans/
/r/PurplePillDebate26/09/25 12:30 PM
–

Then why are 68% of women in a relationship? It doesn’t add up.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/09/25 11:54 AM
–

And what exactly would help with long if not the closest connection possible?
/r/PurplePillDebate26/09/25 11:51 AM
–

Presupposing that 63% of men between 18 and 29 are undesirable is wilder than thinking women are too picky.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/09/25 11:35 AM
–

We are way beyond the “having sex with a random man” problem.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/09/25 11:22 AM
2

It depends on how much sex and romance they get for how much work. Men who get to have these with little-to-no effort often have no incentive to reciprocate attention they get from women in particular and society in general. But those who actually have work for it and feel that their work is actually rewarded will be inspired to do more for a society which seemingly rewards efforts.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/09/25 08:29 AM
4

Because humans are social beings. The opinion of others is the most important factor in forming your worldview, and it’s extremely frustrating when people condemn you for your preferences while adhering to their own.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/09/25 12:05 PM
5

That’s just not true. The majority of men are at least open to committed relationships.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/09/25 11:44 AM
7

Claiming that you associate a 25 year old with a baby sort of underlies the assumption that you consider older men dating younger women pedophilia.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/09/25 11:19 AM
4

“It can be worse” is the worst argument when you try to prove something is not as bad as it is said to be.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/09/25 05:12 PM
2

Average men between 18 and 29 quantifiably don’t. And yes, employers can and often do have too high expectations of their employees or potential employees. That’s exactly why trade unions were created in the first place.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/09/25 01:09 PM
1

Women claim kindness is the most important thing in relationships, yet it turns out to be completely false, and men feel themselves deceived. No surprise here.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/09/25 01:07 PM
5

I do find it hard to believe that 63% of young men are so undesirable that they deserve to be single. Marriage is supposed to be the result of years of dating. Nobody says either party is not entitled to end the relationship when it becomes unviable, but this is pretty much the other extreme.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/09/25 10:29 AM
1

If your standards objectively cause such a portion of people to be single, then they are objectively too high.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/09/25 10:16 AM
0

It’s like going from one extreme to the other. The issue is not that not 100% or even 90% of men are in a relationship. But if your standards cause 63 % of men to be single, then they are probably unhealthy and can’t be justified by past grievances.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/09/25 09:23 AM
-4

Which cause 63 % of young men to be single.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/09/25 09:08 AM
-1

Many incels do hate women. Which is not justified by itself, but neither are the standards of many women which actually cause this hate.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/09/25 05:31 AM
2

Why would you be a “mentally ill basket case”? (You don’t have to answer if it’s too personal, but I do believe people said to be “mentally unstable” while being actually just awkward and shy deserve more chance, regardless of gender.)
/r/PurplePillDebate24/09/25 05:24 AM
1

You might be right that it doesn’t stem from requiring masculinity. Still, even if it’s an insecurity issue, the result is still discrimination against bisexual men, for a reason which women have to short out.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/09/25 07:23 PM
3

It's about expecting men to go out of their comfort zones, but accepting that women are often unwilling to do so.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/09/25 04:39 PM
2

No, it’s not understandable tbh. Nothing implies that bisexual men are more likely to cheat than others. If anyone thinks they actually do and that’s why they don’t want to date bisexual men, then they have serious security issues which they have to deal with.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/09/25 07:12 AM
1

It’s about the whole courting process, in which men are still expected to initiate. It’s frustrating that the factor which women claim to be the most important is actually so irrelevant.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/09/25 07:04 AM
4

If you’re so afraid that your partner will cheat on you just because he’s bisexual, without any indication of that being true, then I’d say the problem is with you, not your partner.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/09/25 12:28 AM
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You can say something is problematic with a group if it is actually established to be so. Men are responsible for the majority of rapes, and stating this is not misandry by itself. Similarly, you won't be a mysoginist simply by claiming that women's dating standards are just too high
/r/PurplePillDebate20/09/25 09:31 PM
1

Lack of empathy is actually a massive sign for being on the spectrum Memes like this are the "blacks have a natural tendency for rape"-slogans of the 2020s, seriously. https://theprivatetherapyclinic.co.uk/blog/dating-someone-with-mild-autism/
/r/PurplePillDebate20/09/25 09:19 PM
2

It's more like "Why do you allow that guy to treat you like shit when you all talk about how important kindness is". And last time I checked, socioeconomic inequality was an urgent problem and people claiming to be liberals were enthusiastic supporters of the case. Women could change if they were actually follow the principles they often talk about. It just requires some effort. Of course, they don't have to change, but some self-reflection about their supposed liberalism would be warranted then…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/09/25 09:08 PM
1

Actually, no. Autistic people, especially men, are more loyal, probably because they have so much to struggle to find a partner. https://theprivatetherapyclinic.co.uk/blog/dating-someone-with-mild-autism/ Presupposing attraction and being primarily attracted to personality are often contradictory, since you can’t get to know the majority of someone’s personality to the extent women claim it to know without spending time together and concentrating on each other. In this case, “personality” is mor…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/09/25 01:02 PM
1

Help, loyalty, deep thoughts etc, all things women claim to be very important. There is a huge discrepancy between assuming that autistic men can change if they really want but society can’t change to help them in the process because it takes effort. If autistic men are capable of this effort, so is neurotypical society.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/09/25 12:42 PM
1

In that quote I literally said sex was not the expectation. Dating was, so yes, it’s her assumption.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/09/25 08:41 AM
2

I actually expected seemingly intelligent people who otherwise talk about acceptance and emotional intelligence to actually do what they talk about.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/09/25 08:01 AM
1

It’s not about being owned to a relationship. It’s about being owned the chance to prove yourself be worthy of a relationship.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/09/25 07:43 AM
3

I do think a general awareness of the struggles of people with autism would help much more than always expecting people with autism to do much of the legwork.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/09/25 07:04 AM
3

Would you go out of your comfort zone when it comes to your dating standards?
/r/PurplePillDebate20/09/25 06:46 AM
1

It depends on the context, but the only case I could imagine it wouldn’t help is interactions between total strangers who don’t engage in meaningful conversations. Otherwise, it’s useful, especially if it’s about giving advice.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/09/25 06:36 AM
2

Honest communication would do everyone much more good than harm tbh. Also it’s not about not talking about something, but often explicitly talking about its opposite.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/09/25 07:44 PM
3

You can be a supporter of feminist ideas in general AND maintain that women’s standards at dating are too high. Oppressed groups shouldn’t be impervious to criticism.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/09/25 03:54 AM
2

You can be the greatest proponent of progressive ideas and women would still reject you if you are socially awkward and/or not physically attractive enough. To a degree that some of these men are practically doomed never to find a partner. The existence of misogyny is not an excuse to label every single instance of criticism of women as a group misogyny immediately. Misogyny being a problem and women having unhealthy standards at dating regardless of that are not mutually exclusive.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/09/25 03:34 AM
3

But women regularly say that it’s primarily about kindness and being good. Using your analogy, it’s like talking about how the appearance of your nails is more important than the appearance of your face.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/09/25 01:45 PM
9

“Personality” and “social skills” are not the same, while “social skills” are pretty much a part of “being hot”.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/09/25 11:23 AM
0

Your comment at least confirms that it’s not actually about“personality”, only a small part of it, that is, being charming. So no, the “personality is very important” part is misleading, intentionally or not.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/09/25 11:23 AM
1

What is “unattractive”, however, is pretty much not obvious, considering how often women claim good personality and kindness are so important, yet…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/09/25 06:30 AM
2

I have a hard time believing that dating on apps and in bars or being into hookups would be seen as against social rules for women in 2025 in general.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/09/25 10:19 PM
3

The biggest problem is that the example shows that the men who do exactly the opposite of what many women claim to be the most important part of attractiveness are quite successful with women.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/09/25 10:06 PM
2

There is a measurable disparity between the portion of men and women who are in a relationship. That’s a legitimate concern.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/09/25 09:49 PM
1

There are probably multiple reasons for it, but yes, at least those women are shallow. Admitting this is not misogyny, exactly because many of those women are probably not only not gold diggers, but are intelligent, educated individuals who could change the status quo by bringing down their standards. The conclusion that men just have to wait until they are older itself seems false. This logic doesn’t take into account that a large percentage of older men found their partners when they were youn…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/09/25 10:36 AM
4

The problem with this approach is that it presupposes that toxic masculinity is the sole cause of the conflict between men and women. While it has always been a problem, it has been pushed back to a large degree, and other issues emerged, the solution to which rests more on women than men. Women being too selective in their choices of men to date is a serious problem of current society, and yes, it’s mostly the responsibility of women to change it. You can claim it’s a backlash against toxic mas…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/25 12:31 PM
1

Your argument is still predicated on the assumption that women HAVE TO have a child, or even more children. It’s simply not true anymore.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/25 08:55 AM
1

Check out the 2022 PEW research.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/25 08:49 AM
0

Even supposing you will find someone by the age of forty and you cannot help that remaining 5%, it does suck to be excluded from romance and sexuality in the best years of your life.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/25 08:47 AM
2

No. Many of us want to be treated like average people by other average people. Sadly, seemingly some average people are entitled to shoot above their weight, some are not.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/09/25 08:15 AM
1

That’s too far, I think. Just because other groups were more oppressed, it doesn’t mean that women were not oppressed at all. They got the right to vote at all only in the 1920s (in the Western world). We shouldn’t go to the other extreme.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/09/25 04:33 PM
17

As I have been saying for a while: oppressed groups should not be impervious to criticism.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/09/25 08:15 AM
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Would a post about the struggle of autistic men get anything else than comments about empathy (if that)? Sorry, but that wouldn’t change anything. I wrote this exactly because I think society in general and women in particular are completely excempted from doing their share in solving the problem.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/09/25 12:17 AM
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Maybe not. But I don’t claim knowing their personality throughout to be the most important aspect of me choosing a partner either.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/25 11:59 PM
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By OP’s logic, we shouldn’t care about them at all either. Does going on a few dates with a socially awkward guy require more effort than going to protests or voting? Yes. Is it something an average person can’t do without seriously violating their own being? No.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/25 11:53 PM
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Quite often it’s not about being abrasive or difficult, just being awkward.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/25 11:49 PM
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Nobody says it doesn’t affect my personality. Believing that these traits are monolithic and unchangeable. But expecting others not to do anything is not exactly the liberal view many women claim to adhere to. Wheelchair users are around 1.4% of the US population, so the overwhelming majority would probably not be affected at all if transportation and buildings wouldn’t be designed to accommodate the needs of wheelchair users. I still don’t think these designs are needless.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/25 11:41 PM
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Then they should stop claiming that internal values are the most important for them.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/25 11:19 PM
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Stop claiming you are liberal, if you do now. Liberalism includes universalism, which hypocrisy goes against.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/25 11:18 PM
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If I claimed that the most important aspect of dating was the aspects of personality I can’t judge based on brief interactions, they would be right to call me out for it.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/25 11:17 PM
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It’s called argumentum ad absurdum.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/25 11:02 PM
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But it’s not monolithic. People really should stop expecting autistic people to develop while claiming they are unable to develop.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/25 11:02 PM
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This “but I know autistic guys in relationships”-argument is just trying. Look at the statistics, please.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/25 11:00 PM
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And have you considered that autistic people can develop, especially if they’re given the impetus to do so? I would probably not date someone whom I have nothing in common with, but I would not say that based on a few sentences they said, especially not because they didn’t look into my eyes, if I said I needed to know them better to judge them. Masking by itself is not the problem. If it’s the way to find friends and a partner, be it. Others expecting me to mask without giving anything in return…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/25 10:47 PM
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Would you simply accept that probably no one will ever allow you to show them other aspects of your personality in a romantic context?
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/25 10:37 PM
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Then stop claiming that it’s the deeper part of personality which matters to you.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/25 10:34 PM
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Say, three or four dates. Everything else depends on how these go. Again, no one said autistic men can’t or shouldn’t try to mitigate the negative aspects of their behavior. How should they show they can do it without the opportunity to do so?
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/25 10:31 PM
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People do date to get to know the other person better and while yes, everyone wants it to be fun, but people do, or at least should calculate with the possibility of it ending with a failure. This doesn’t make people stop dating though. If you claim that you care about personality and are not interested in me after, say, three dates, be my guest. But if you do the former and would ditch me immediately just because I didn’t always look into your eyes when we first talked then yes, you are hypocri…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/25 10:28 PM
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Whose personality?
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/25 10:01 PM
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It does, but these aspects can be mitigated (again, the part about autistic people having to work on themselves too) and thus outweighed by positive aspects.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/25 10:01 PM
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Again, nobody says autistic men shouldn’t develop. I didn’t say anything about jumping into a relationship either. Also, without trying to sound insensitive, putting down weight is, in most cases, still easier than getting rid of autism.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/25 09:56 PM
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By not giving autistic men the opportunity to show the deeper parts of their personality?
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/25 09:45 PM
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Because it’s them who otherwise claim the importance of non-superficial traits.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/25 09:43 PM
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I would like them to give me a chance to show them other aspects of my personality.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/25 09:42 PM
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It’s not only about the looks itself. It’s also the effort these people put into these situations. And actually yes, people should appreciate your efforts too. If people who are medically established to handle these situations harder than average people and are still capable of it, going on a few dates with them is probably not as much of an effort on your part as one of those average people.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/25 09:33 PM
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Dating is about finding out whether a relationship can actually work with someone. And people can behave very differently in situations like that.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/25 09:26 PM
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Survivors bias. Just look at the statistics about autistic men and relationships.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/25 09:19 PM
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It is hypocritical to claim that you care about someone’s deeper or whole personality without giving them any chance to prove it.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/25 09:15 PM
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It’s a medically established fact that autistic people have a harder time focusing on things other than their special interests. And again, what’s so impossible about going on a few dates with a man who actually tries to make himself presentable even with his social awkwardness?
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/25 09:11 PM
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With all due respect, maintaining a well-kept appearance is just not the same as maintaining a behavior which goes against your basic personality. I also spend a lot of time on my appearance, including maintaining my beard. Even assuming that women have to work on their appearance more, it just can’t be compared to the struggle of autistic masking.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/25 09:05 PM
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Still survivor’s bias. The majority of autistic men struggle with dating.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/25 08:55 PM
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Quite often yes.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/25 08:54 PM
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Appreciating the effort of autistic men going out of their way to prove their worth by going on a few dates with them is not the same as owning anyone.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/25 08:53 PM
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Nobody says I would be the greatest. What I’m saying is that I’m not necessarily worse than those she might choose without considering giving a chance to me. Giving a chance to at first awkward but otherwise decent men who actually strive to improve themselves possible. Or at least stop claiming deeper aspects of personality matter more than superficial ones.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/25 08:48 PM
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As I said, a few dates.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/25 08:12 PM
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Autistic people are not normal people either. If you can’t get along with my coworkers because of something beyond my ability to completely control, your workplace does owe you the right of taking that into consideration. And I don’t think you want me to start listing how many and serious abuses humans can survive. “It could be worse” can be used as an argument against practically any initiative for defending human rights.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/25 08:09 PM
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I definitely expect people who claim to care about the deeper aspects of others when it comes to dating to give some chance even to people who at first appear awkward.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/25 07:43 PM
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To prove that they can make a good romantic partner.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/25 07:36 PM
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Giving someone a chance by going on a few dates with them is possible, and something you should do if you claim that deeper aspects of personality matter the most to you.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/25 07:36 PM
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No one is talking about sex immediately. What I’m saying is willing to go to a few dates for autistic men to prove themselves.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/25 07:34 PM
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Accepting a few dates from men who seem awkward at first is that only if you make it to be that.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/25 07:24 PM
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If it was more important, they would be able to look past surface quirks. Which they don’t.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/25 07:14 PM
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The whole society does. If there was no pressure not to, I would never talk about anything which doesn’t interest me at all ever. Would anyone tolerate that? Though so. It takes a lot from me, every single day. But I do it. Non-autistic people just don’t know that, because they don’t have to struggle to meet these expectations.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/25 07:11 PM
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I do think many don’t mean deeper in truth, but that’s definitely what they claim. It’s a moral problem because the very same people also preach about standing up for the rights of other minorities. But when it comes to putting in more effort into that (note “more”, not “impossible”), then it comes to a halt.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/25 07:04 PM
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It’s simply not true, just look at the statistics about autistic men and relationships.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/25 06:59 PM
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They should go on at least a few dates with autistic men for them to be able to show the full extent of their personality. If autistic men can be expected to mask their whole lives, ignoring some autistic quirks which may not be quirks anymore or the autistic man in question can mitigate himself to help the situation.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/25 06:53 PM
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It’s hard to meet requirements because they are not what they are claimed to be.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/25 06:49 PM
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No one said it was easy. But it requiring an effort doesn’t mean it’s impossible.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/25 06:44 PM
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No, since women often claim it’s the deeper parts of personality they care about.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/25 06:42 PM
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Maybe nothing, but they don’t necessarily have less of it either. They just don’t have the chance to show it because women don’t go out of their comfort zone to give them a chance.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/25 06:41 PM
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Again, because women often claim to care more about depth than men. Yet what we see is that women often go more for superficial features and often get downright manipulated by charming men who later exploit them. Not saying autistic men are not capable of this, but it does show that women don’t follow what they preach.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/25 06:37 PM
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Survivors bias. The majority of autistic men are ignored by women when it comes to dating.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/25 06:30 PM
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Entitled to something most people except for autistic men experience at least once in their lives? People don’t realize how many things they take for granted.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/25 06:28 PM
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Obesity is something which you can change for the better way easier than autism, let alone your height. It’s a bad analogy.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/25 06:26 PM
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A part of your superficial personality. If it was the depth of your personality you care about, you are willing to give them a chance to show other parts of their personality.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/25 06:24 PM
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It seems that life isn’t fair comes up frequently when it requires people claiming to be liberal to do more than voting and going to protests. It’s literally the same argument people campaign against providing aid for racial minorities, for example.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/25 06:19 PM
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It was sarcasm, trying to highlight the hypocrisy.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/25 06:13 PM
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Women in general should be open to communicate with less-socially adept men. It’s about giving them a chance. Again, autistic men are pretty much expected to keep eye contact even if it’s hard for them all their lives. Practically all conversations. And many do it. With struggle, of course, but they do it. If it’s possible for them, I think women can tolerate some autistic traits, especially since some have become much more mainstream recently.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/25 06:06 PM
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That’s not what women claim and give as advice.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/25 05:55 PM
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It is if you claim that the depth of your personality is more important than superficial things. And many women do exactly that.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/25 05:52 PM
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Women often explicitly claim they care about depth more, while accusing men of being superficial. Just stop it then.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/25 05:50 PM
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Women regularly accuse men of being superficial and caring only about appearance. Feel free to do whatever you want, but stop being hypocritical.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/25 05:49 PM
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Having a chance to date at least once in life is also something many non-autistic people practically take for granted.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/25 05:46 PM
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Then neither are any minorities. Laissez-faire for all.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/25 05:44 PM
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Then let men openly claim they are not attracted to women after the menopause. Those women are biologically unable to reproduce after all.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/25 05:43 PM
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Because it’s hypocritical and simply false.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/25 05:42 PM
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Autistic men are forced to do a whole lot of things by masking.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/25 05:41 PM
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Never said all. But sure as hell more do than how many are given a chance to prove it. And that’s where the autistic people have to develop as well-part comes in. No one says autistic men shouldn’t develop. What is annoying is that they are not given anything in return.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/25 05:39 PM
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There are more aspects to one’s personality than awkwardness if you’re willing not to be superficial. You are expecting autistic men to respect women’s needs without caring about their own.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/25 05:32 PM
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Because that’s what I read everywhere women give advice to autistic men in this regard.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/25 05:28 PM
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Feel free to call it as you want, but then stop claiming you care about depths of personality.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/25 05:27 PM
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That’s what I mean by personality being deeper than what you see first. Feel free to be superficial, but then stop claiming you care about the depths of personality. And stop expecting autistic men to mask.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/25 05:24 PM
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If by special treatment you mean giving more chances to those who get little-to-no otherwise, especially if you claim personality is the most important factor, then yes.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/25 05:20 PM
1

It’s simply not likely for women to meet a man who doesn’t want a committed relationship. The majority of these women probably also live in an actual committed relationship. Besides women not enjoying oral sex less than men, the question is still there: why does the majority of women, who were probably victims of sexual abuse, still engage in any kind of sex?
/r/PurplePillDebate01/09/25 08:01 PM
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The survey explicitly differentiates between committed and not committed relationships. The portion of those, both women and men, who look for only situationships is rather small. Men do enjoy oral or manual sex just as much as women. And honestly it doesn’t even matter. What matters is that women are pretty much willing to risk the very real danger of sexual abuse to find a long-lasting, consensual relationship which also includes sex.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/09/25 07:35 PM
1

No. https://www.pewresearch.org/fact-tank/2023/02/08/for-valentines-day-5-facts-about-single-americans/ Men don’t necessarily need penetrative sex either, and I’m pretty sure many men would be more than willing to give women pleasure in a non-penetrative way.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/09/25 06:28 PM
1

I do have data backing that most women are in a relationship. Which, considering the fact that the majority of victims of sexual violence are women, does imply that yes, a large percentage of women desire sex and romantic relationships enough to risk sexual violence.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/09/25 05:02 PM
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Changing your weight is possible, and being young is granted to everyone in their lives once. I don’t think any of these is comparable to heightism.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/09/25 10:35 AM
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Considering how it actually jeopardizes otherwise good guys who would make excellent partners, and it’s also a trait no one can change, I would say yes, it’s harmful.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/09/25 10:32 AM
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This. Just because it’s mostly used by the wrong demographic, it can be useful.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/08/25 06:33 AM
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Because much more women are in a relationship than men. Measurably. And personality is the most malleable part of one’s being. If you claim it’s the most important part of finding a partner, then you should give a chance to people less charismatic at first.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/08/25 05:56 AM
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Let me guess: you could have safe, harmless sex, even if without romantic attraction, if you really wanted to?
/r/PurplePillDebate28/08/25 10:21 PM
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Being told that kindness gets you intimacy, but seeing how it often has a secondary role is sad. Denying this is happening and claiming that women as a group have no responsibility in it is blasphemous.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/08/25 09:58 PM
1

Ted Bundy’s case also highlights how charisma overrides kindness. A lot of people (many otherwise intelligent and educated) could simply not accept that the man was not the charming genius he was perceived to be. The judge also noted how Bundt would have made an excellent lawyer.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/08/25 04:41 PM
6

Which is not necessarily a contradiction by itself. It could well have been exactly because the average nerds in question were average at everything besides their personality.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/08/25 03:09 PM
3

“Maester Aemon: Tell me, did you ever wonder why the men of the Night's Watch take no wives and father no children? Jon Snow: No. Maester Aemon: So they will not love. Love is the death of duty. If the day should ever come when your lord father was forced to choose between honor on the one hand and those he loves on the other, what would he do? Jon Snow: He... he would do whatever was right. No matter what. Maester Aemon: Then Lord Stark is one man in 10,000. Most of us are not so strong. What i…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/08/25 02:48 PM
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Nobody claimed they were. The claim was that personality matters less than it’s said to be.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/08/25 02:44 PM
1

This.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/08/25 10:41 PM
2

Yes, they are. That’s exactly what a healthy society is supposed to be about and that’s exactly why being liberal and compassionate doesn’t end at claiming you are progressive. The overwhelming majority of the topics autistic men choose are neither controversial nor fringe. Engaging with them and then directing the discussion somewhere else gradually is doable. Being able to talk about games or anime doesn’t mean you have to be a hardcore gamer or anime fan. Those can well be casual topics nowad…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/08/25 01:34 PM
2

A lot of autistic males do try to talk about things other than their special interests. But it’s medically proven that it’s hard for them to do so and a lot of these interests are very mainstream nowadays. Considering all of this, what is completely reasonable and actually should be expected from people claiming themselves liberals is trying to help autistic people by initially talking about their special interests or something related and then try to swerve the conversation to something else. A…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/08/25 06:51 AM
3

What I’m talking about is that considering someone a weirdo for expecting even a random stranger (say, between 14 and 50) to be interested in anime and/or gaming in 2025 is outdated at best. You really shouldn’t need to go cons to meet people who have seen at least some anime and/or played some games. You may have had bad experiences. But even here on Reddit, you can read the accounts of neurodivergent men who are physically absolutely attractive, but are ditched (probably) even by liberal women…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/08/25 11:17 AM
1

The problem with this approach is that it seems that society itself is unable to change to accommodate for its disadvantaged minorities when said changes require more than voting for certain people every fourth year or so or going to protests. No, this is not to say that high functioning autistic people themselves have no responsibility in shaping their lives. They do. But it’s still them who are disadvantaged and who struggle more, not neurotypical people. I don’t think it’s right to expect neu…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/08/25 11:00 PM
5

On the one hand, yes. On the other hand, Western women often do contribute to this by having very high standards, even if they claim to be tolerant and accepting. https://www.pewresearch.org/short-reads/2023/02/08/for-valentines-day-5-facts-about-single-americans/
/r/PurplePillDebate22/08/25 10:08 PM
1

That people calling themselves liberals should be more willing to give a chance to people when it comes to romance, one of the most important relationships in life. Being progressive isn’t just about voting and going to protests.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/08/25 04:39 PM
1

Based on data, no, it’s not. Approximately 68% of American women are in a relationship.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/08/25 04:33 PM
1

Giving a chance for people by going out for a few dates with them is really not that much of a sacrifice imho.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/08/25 02:57 PM
1

Under the current circumstances when measurably more women are in a relationship than men, and when women often claim that personality is more important than appearance or financial situation, and considering how personality is the only thing out of these which needs more time to be understood, I say yes, definitely more people are owed a chance than how many get it.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/08/25 08:12 AM
1

Giving someone a chance to prove they would make good partners is not the same as being forced to have sex with someone.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/08/25 10:32 PM
1

This answer is the prime example of why this “but you won’t die from it”-argument is flawed.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/08/25 10:28 PM
1

It’s not just online dating data. https://www.pewresearch.org/short-reads/2023/02/08/for-valentines-day-5-facts-about-single-americans/
/r/PurplePillDebate09/08/25 10:18 PM
1

There is a difference between having to immediately like someone and giving them a chance to prove that they are likable. The latter should be something people claiming to be liberals should strive for.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/08/25 10:14 PM
0

The dating scene is skewed towards women. There is nothing liberal or progressive in denying it, and this by itself isn’t an attack against women’s rights of bodily autonomy. Their standards are measurably too high and they often don’t choose partners according to what they claim.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/08/25 09:50 PM
0

Finding a partner is quantifiably easier for women than men. One of the most important aspects is that while women often claim to be primarily interested in personality, many seem to be unwilling to give a chance to men to prove that they would make good partners personality wise. Caring about equality and being liberal doesn’t end at voting for certain people and going to protests. Sometimes you do have to leave your comfort zone.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/08/25 09:34 PM
2

No, a disabled but otherwise absolutely decent person whom no one would give a chance is not the same as someone not being satisfied with his actually good partner and not having the guts to tell them how they feel. Even supposing the former are a minority, there is enough of them to justify the establishment of well-organized and safe prostitution.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/08/25 09:03 PM
1

Some of them are. Just because it can be abused doesn’t mean it’s inherently bad.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/08/25 08:29 PM
1

Legal is still not the same as regulated. Especially in countries where many trafficked prostitutes come from. Yes, you shouldn't go to a prostitute because your wife doesn't satisfy you. But you are absolutely entitled to enjoy the services of a prostitute if you are a decent human being who couldn't get sex otherwise. That demand could be met.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/08/25 03:18 PM
1

And a well-working system of prostitution would filter those who are in it because of traumas. Alas, those in the UK, US and especially those in Eastern Europe are not well-working systems. And yes, they do. Sex is not sacrosanct.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/08/25 03:10 PM
2

Which, in this general form. There are many people who can never experience sexuality, one of the basic tenets of human life, in any other meaningful way. Visiting a prostitute is not ideal, but it's often the symptom, not the cause. Bad people visit prostitutes because their badness scares others from having sex with them. If you date one, you will soon see what exactly this is, and you will dump them for those traits, not because they visited prostitutes. Good people visit prostitutes because …
/r/PurplePillDebate05/08/25 02:55 PM
2

Every decent person should be allowed to have sex with attractive people. And if they can’t find anyone who would do it free, they should have the opportunity to use a well-organized and ethical service satisfying their legitimate needs.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/07/25 06:28 AM
1

Well-organized and ethical prostitution is pretty much doable and is, in fact, the only possibility for a lot of men to experience the most pleasurable feeling a human being can experience. Just because its handling in the US or UK is generally terrible, it doesn’t mean that it cannot be done in a mutually beneficial way. https://www.autlives.com/sexual-services https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2022/jul/30/a-sex-worker-gave-my-autistic-son-the-gift-of-confidence-and-i-organised-the-enco…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/07/25 06:19 AM
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