Sark11111 Archive

Upvotes	Title	Category	Author	Subreddit	Date (UTC)

Upvotes	Comment on	Subreddit	Date (UTC)
1	Any good/bad experiences with a vocational expert? I know someone who just went through this. They were in investment banking making 550k and now make 180k in credit risk. This passed the smell test and they were okay since they were using the same skills. Is there anything adjacent/lower paying to film that you could pursue? The imputed income thing is really disgusting for higher earners, it makes me sick for men. I’m sorry you’re going through this.	/r/Divorce_Men	18/12/24 04:42 PM
1	Any good/bad experiences with a vocational expert? Everyone knows that’s getting hammered. That being said, this isn’t something to agree to in mediation. I agree with the other comment about getting to the point. If she wants CS, agree on a reasonable number and move on, if she wants alimony “no,” if you want alimony, make sure the legal costs make it worth pursuing… Ofc if she’s not reasonable, don’t agree to any BS that will harm your case. Consult with your attorney before agreeing to something like a voc eval.	/r/Divorce_Men	17/12/24 10:55 PM
1	Any good/bad experiences with a vocational expert? What industry? If it makes you feel better, voc evals are typically pretty conservative. You need to start applying for jobs and lots of them though. If you have a hearing come up make sure you can drop a fat stack of jobs you applied for in front of the judge. Save the page, save your app, have a tracking sheet, etc. This stuff is all discretionary so try not to look like a lazy asshole and you should be okay. If you have kids they’re going to impute you to SOMETHING though. No getting around t…	/r/Divorce_Men	17/12/24 09:07 PM
1	Angry About Double Standard and Not Handling It Well With a court order or no court order? Step one is getting an order then step two is ignoring her.	/r/Divorce_Men	11/12/24 07:42 AM
1	Is a 2 br apt, with both young kids a good living situation in the eyes of a judge? Yes even at this young of an age. Assume that if your divorce is contentious you MUST go above and beyond on every single thing - you’re not a woman, it sucks but that’s how it is.	/r/Divorce_Men	27/11/24 11:08 PM
1	Is a 2 br apt, with both young kids a good living situation in the eyes of a judge? Since your kids are diff genders it DOES look bad, do not listen to comments here. If you leave the home you will not get primary custody.	/r/Divorce_Men	27/11/24 11:05 PM
1	Chances of a new relationship after a divorce I’ll get downvoted for saying this but…. Do you have $? Are you willing to put a partner first? These are probably the determining factors in whether or not you’ll date successfully. If you’re missing either of those I recommend you date single moms, who will be more understanding of your circumstances.	/r/Divorce_Men	11/11/24 06:38 AM
1	Does anyone else feel their divorce makes any conventional relationship impossible? It’s never too late to put yourself first. I work in a high paying job myself so I understand the time constraints and pressure to perform. Having to finance the ‘needs’ of others is about more than just money. I think what will help you is realizing that today is the first day of the rest of your life and you can choose to work, live, and allocate resources how you want to in the future. With no court order, you don’t owe people who don’t respect you literally anything.	/r/Divorce_Men	27/10/24 10:28 PM
1	"Divorce is better for the kids than their parents not loving each other" actually, I am not sure this is true. This is why no one is having them. IMO it’s better to put LESS emphasis on children and make them not such a big deal, it’s the only way to get the first world interested in having kids again. This ‘quality over quantity’ optic decimates middle class participation…	/r/PurplePillDebate	22/10/24 10:25 PM
2	Anyone deal with complicated house ownership equity split in divorce? Being kind will haunt you later. Remember, if you clear up the situation with the house ahead of time, you still have the optionality to help as much as you'd like in the future - it will just be under your control.	/r/Divorce_Men	07/10/24 05:21 PM
1	Anyone deal with complicated house ownership equity split in divorce? Hold off on divorcing, sell the home, divert the proceeds to your mom. Wait a bit and then pull the trigger. If you can do this without her noticing you will save a lot of money.	/r/Divorce_Men	06/10/24 08:58 PM
1	Does anyone else feel their divorce makes any conventional relationship impossible? All of the issues you will run into boil down to resource scarcity. The more resources (time, money, effort) that you can offer a partner, the higher quality of a partner you will get. So even once your kids are older, there could be conflicts over things like money. Even women who earn their own money don't want to support a man who is giving away all his money to his children. Fundamentally, people have to decide where to allocate their resources. If it's not in the new partner, you won't get …	/r/Divorce_Men	23/09/24 06:59 PM
6	Jobless and soon to be divorced Easier to start low and move up, vs. start high and have to argue with a judge about having things adjusted downwards.	/r/Divorce_Men	23/09/24 05:00 PM
0	She earns more. I save more. It will be a fight and if you win, but she keeps failing to earn, she can endlessly fight you to modify it. It’s not really worth pursuing alimony if someone is not actively earning. You will lose more in legal.	/r/Divorce_Men	08/09/24 07:34 AM
3	How many of you who have daughters have trouble finding a new partner (gf and wife) ? You’re going to get a bunch of BS answers on here but fundamentally you can only have one #1. If you make that your daughter, your dating pool will be limited to lower quality people unless you’re balling out of control. So if your daughter is your priority, maybe wait until she’s old enough not to be and then make your search for an adult partner your new priority. The question you should ask yourself is: are spouses of any quality (even second spouses) okay with coming second to adult children…	/r/Divorce_Men	05/09/24 06:17 AM
1	How to have a business that would escape CS A lot of people here will post not know what they’re talking about. If you start a business venture with her or she files a K1, you NEED to see an attorney and figure things out because your ex absolutely could attempt to pick her pockets.	/r/Divorce_Men	28/08/24 07:02 PM
2	My marriage is no longer viable, but divorce will ruin me financially. Am I trapped? You need to pay for a non Canadian passport in a place like San Lucia. There are several Caribbean countries that will give you a passport/citizenship outright if you donate $100k to their economic development fund. You get the rest of your money out of the country and renounce your CA citizenship if your ex tries to sanction you. Then, go and get a visa somewhere else where you want to stay permanently. You want a country that doesn’t have reciprocity with CA family court, which is the vast maj…	/r/Divorce_Men	17/08/24 01:08 AM
2	My marriage is no longer viable, but divorce will ruin me financially. Am I trapped? Yea you can… If it’s so horrible just bite the bullet until they’re in high school and then enact your exit strategy.	/r/Divorce_Men	15/08/24 11:26 PM
7	My marriage is no longer viable, but divorce will ruin me financially. Am I trapped? Or, lose your job and wait a few years, then file for divorce. Or, buy a passport for one of the Caribbean countries that allow it for 100k and use that to get foreign Visas in places you actually want to live (with no reciprocity). Why do people just agree to be slaves in their own lives? You have so many options if you just work outside the box.	/r/Divorce_Men	12/08/24 10:50 PM
4	Paying for school lunches What’s she going to do if you just said no? She loses this in court so just say ‘sorry, it’s not in my budget.’	/r/Divorce_Men	05/08/24 10:55 AM
5	Escaping Canada and Japan I don’t think Japan has agreements with anywhere. Pretty sure you can just bounce and you’re good. You won’t be able to take the kids though.	/r/Divorce_Men	21/07/24 11:37 PM
1	What am I entitled to in a cooperative divorce? That sounds right to me, I think you are correct on the spousal support assuming your marriage was long term. I misunderstood how you represented her pension. I think in light of that, your deal makes sense and you should pursue it. She's basically leaving 125K on the table re: the house, and you're leaving some amount on the table re: the retirements based on your proposal. Depends on how much is in her 401K and what her exact pension value is, but IMO this sounds fairly even if you consider th…	/r/Divorce_Men	17/07/24 06:45 PM
-5	What am I entitled to in a cooperative divorce? Why should she give you $150K when she only has $200K more than you? I don't know if you make $0 or if you make e.g. $75K, but in her shoes I would not agree to give you the house, the car, and a bonus $50K disbursement from the 401K in exchange for the avoiding the chance that I'd have to pay you alimony in excess of that amount. Like I said, I don't know what state you're in, how much you actually make, or how long you've been married, but I think her ceding half the value of the house to you …	/r/Divorce_Men	17/07/24 06:29 PM
1	CA advice What are the add ons you’re being dragged back for? Is there no way to close these gaps by setting standard practices (e.g. if x parent wants a thing they pay for it)?	/r/Divorce_Men	09/07/24 05:01 PM
1	Have court tomorrow. Nervous as ever What is your friends nonprofit? I am interested in this	/r/Divorce_Men	15/02/24 05:45 PM
1	Have court tomorrow. Nervous as ever Why did your divorce go on for so long? How is that possible?	/r/Divorce_Men	15/02/24 05:44 PM