TheRedArchive

~ archived since 2018 ~

SavvyPanther Archive

View 0 posts and 75 comments by SavvyPanther on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
Search in:
In subreddits:
More
Filter by year/month:
Upvotes Title Category Author Subreddit Date (UTC)
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
66

This older lady I used to work with always told this story about how she went out with this guy, but cut him off because he “seemed creepy.” The lady’s mother liked the guy: he was rich and charming and good looking. Her mother sent her newpaper clips of his achievements for years—showing her what she missed. She said the last article her mother sent was a story in the paper about how he murdered his wife, and it was accompanied by a note from her mother saying how she was sorry and wrong! Trust…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/02/22 01:07 AM
106

The comments were all praising how this was “parenting done right.” I’m just so disgusted by the “I’m not religious, so I don’t have any moral objections” line! Like, what?!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/02/22 06:52 AM
66

Just a side note for the “stability” section: all schools need subs right now. Especially for middle and high school, you don’t really need any skills except being able to tell the kids to go online and access their daily lesson. I sub for a while every time I move before finding a teaching position, and I easily got 40 hour weeks even before the pandemic. Pay isn’t fabulous, but if you just need a quick job to show you’re an upstanding citizen with a paycheck, right now schools will take anyone…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/02/22 12:23 AM
330

Just to throw in some positivity (because it’s hard to remember that HVM exist when there are soul-crushing stories like this) my cousin got cancer and her husband stayed with her, took full care of their three teenage girls and all of their practices and events, went to all the appointments with her, cooked healthy food, cleaned… just really stepped up and did everything so she could rest and recover. Then after her last treatment (yay, cancer free!) he booked a surprise beach vacation for the …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/02/22 12:50 PM
15

Good article & good on her for drawing wider attention to the disgusting nature of the incel community. I do feel like there’s some cognitive dissonance between “you can’t redistribute sex because we aren’t objects” and “fight to legalize sex work and let men just pay for women’s bodies even though those women would never freely have sex with these men” tho There’s also a podcast episode that you might like on incels (and why people seem so willing to forgive or relate to them) called “The End o…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/08/21 09:19 AM
48

That was my thought and then the article said that he is a teacher! 🤢
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/08/21 02:49 AM
39

Yes—even his compromises suck! I can totally see a valid compromise being something like 1 or 2 big international trips a year supplemented by a ton of weekend getaways and road trips, solo trips or with her girlfriends, but he just goes straight to “Best I can do is one trip a year.”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/07/21 11:05 PM
30

I knew a couple who planned a 2 week road trip pretty early on in their dating. They just said, “if we still like each other when we get back we’ll know it’s for real” lol! It worked—they’re super happy and married a few years later—so far so good.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/07/21 11:35 PM
16

There’s also something to be said about single motherhood by choice: if you know you want kids and the men aren’t cutting it, have kids. Don’t wait around while a loser man wastes your time. You can do it without a man—honestly it can be better than having to parent while walking on eggshells around man feelings like is so often the case on the mom subs.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/06/21 05:12 PM
8

Ugh. I’m dreading going to work because a very unappealing coworker whom I have known for two months has decided that he is in love with me. He told my work BFF that he wants to “confess his love” (his actual words—how is this real life?!) and I’m just dreading the awkwardness. Also, I’m 32–I thought this nonsense would be over by now. He already asked me to skip a summer vacation to go out for coffee with him 🙄(Um, no.) I’m annoyed that this behavior is so widespread that there are scientific s…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/05/21 05:22 AM
62

As a single mother of a toddler, I am overjoyed when my childfree friends visit! I pull out all the stops and make sure I have a sitter so we can go out without baby for stretches of time. I love my friends and try to show them a good time when they are guests at my house. I’m sorry your new friend sucks—I definitely know there are single moms out there who would be thrilled to go on a road trip and see a meteor shower—that sounds like such a fun adventure!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/04/21 02:31 PM
18

Ask them what they’re reading—all of the HVM I’ve known have been avid readers
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/04/21 04:45 AM
112

I literally made a post about burgers and one of the upvoted comments is pornographic and incesty. I don’t get how their brains work.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/04/21 06:33 PM
14

An actual partner who cares about the family’s wellbeing is needed (seems like a low bar, but sadly not many can get over it!) My mother had horrible migraines and my dad would always take us to the park or take us to work with him. When my mother would get migraines, she was OUT and we would hang with dad or be super quiet once we got back home. He would make dinners, clean, put us to bed, help with homework, keep us quiet, whatever because she was in pain and it was just common sense to my dad…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/04/21 10:28 PM
3

I agree—no blame on Shannon here. In addition to those “regular” red flags you mentioned, he also had a lot of green flags—her family liked him, he had a good job, he started going to the gym to get in shape among other things. Acting like she should have known that he was a psycho killer is so unfair to her, especially since she was in the middle of it and couldn’t see the situation from an outside perspective or with the gift of 20/20 hindsight. And even when she did have suspicions of his che…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/04/21 09:44 PM
135

At the family reunion one year, my older cousin brought her new husband. I was the oldest of the “little cousins” and I remember we all called him “the murderer” or “Red Hands” even though he looked like a dorky IT guy and we didn’t really have a reason—he just had a bad vibe? The adults all liked him & my mom kinda sternly questioned me about why the little kids didn’t like him & told me to keep the kids from spreading the nickname around. A year later, my cousin divorced him because of domesti…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/03/21 03:22 AM
2

Definitely ridiculed—it’s a more “feminine” major, so it gets so much hate compared to all the STEM stuff.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/03/21 01:06 PM
20

I’ve taught HS & MS English for a while now and a lot—not all, but a lot—of the men and women I’ve worked with have been very high value people. I’m a firm believer that reading is the #1 way to build empathy and compassion—this guy has the right ideas and I’m glad he’s helping boys in his classroom grow into kinder and more understanding people
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/03/21 11:17 PM
10

I’m so sorry you’re dealing with this. When I went through something traumatic, I moved 3,000 miles away and started over. Changed my hair and went by a new nickname, changed to a slightly different career. While I can’t recommend this much of a drastic change to everyone, I was amazed at how easily I was able to cut contact with my toxic friend group and find new and wonderful people to add to my life. Don’t be afraid to get a fresh start—my new friends are 1000x more supportive and kind than a…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/02/21 05:42 AM
4

That man is a nightmare. I did think of a positive story though: When my cousin got cancer, her husband took over everything—getting the girls to their activities and school, cooking, cleaning, bills, haggling with insurance—literally everything that had been split between them was on him. And the treatments made her so sick and she was in and out of the hospital for a long time. And her husband rose to the occasion. You can just tell that they’re so in love and my cousin just smiles when she ta…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/01/21 05:14 AM
24

Yes—thank goodness I had a job & a strong support network so I didn’t feel like I couldn’t leave
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/11/20 05:35 AM
48

lol I was with my ex-husband for 12 years. Carefully vetted. When we were dating he courted me, bought me dinners and plane tickets and getaways and silly little gifts. He sent me handwritten letters. When I went overseas for a bit, he wrapped up presents of all the things I’d whined about missing from the states. When he proposed, he did research into ethically sourced diamonds and proposed in the redwood forests that I had mentioned I wanted to see. He cooked and cleaned. He had good hygiene. …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/11/20 05:08 AM
51

She’ll get it, give her time. She thought maybe she was the asshole because he was treating her like the asshole. When good, empathetic people (read: women) get treated like crap, they often think it must be because they did something wrong because they themselves would never treat someone like crap unless the person was a complete jerk. I think these forums like AITA really help people see that they are being mistreated when thousands of observers comment with outside perspectives
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/09/20 01:31 PM
5

This was my experience too! Mommy blogs scared the shit out of me when I was pregnant, but now they seem like laughable, self-flagellating nonsense that exaggerates everything for clicks.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/07/20 03:12 PM
9

Maybe— bumble has BumbleBizz though for networking (and bumbleBFF for friendfinding) so maybe she uses that?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/07/20 08:00 AM
11

Yes!! Such a good idea!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/07/20 06:48 PM
14

Reminds me of this one: “Any intelligent woman who reads the marriage contract, and then goes into it, deserves all the consequences.” —Isadora Duncan, 1877-1927
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/07/20 03:25 PM
35

Found out about the affair a little over a year ago when I was 7 months pregnant. (Her husband fb messaged me & then beat the shit out of her—bad situations all around.) My husband and I were ready to move for his job—we’d just sold our house, I’d just turned in notice to my job, the stuff was packed, we’d signed a lease in the new place. My 99 year old grandmother was so excited for us to move close to her so she could meet the baby. I kept with the original plans, moved with him to the new loc…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/07/20 06:24 PM
66

I’m so sorry that you went through this. My husband cheated on me too while I was pregnant and introduced the new baby to his mistress (although thankfully the woman, who definitely knew about me the whole time, was properly ashamed of herself enough that she didn’t come to the house). People can be so cruel and self-centered. I don’t think your life—or mine—is ruined. Changed. Different. Hard right now. But not ruined. I wish you all the best going forward!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/07/20 01:25 PM
1

Great idea!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/07/20 05:46 AM
1

I didn’t know this! I’ll have to check it out!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/07/20 12:31 AM
16

Good idea!! Maybe make a Lady Level Up one too—I don’t care too much about what LVM do or say (I feel like we get enough of that from real life and from visiting any of the relationship subreddits lol), but I love hearing the positive changes that you ladies make in your lives and all the ideas you have for how to make sure that the people in our lives are HV! I hope this sub doesn’t get banned—I love how supportive everyone is. I’ve been nervous posting comments a few times, but no one has ever…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/06/20 07:05 PM
3

I’ve been doing a modified version of the #75Hard challenge. There’s a podcast about the real thing, but it’s too hardcore for me. I basically do the following every single day: Drink water Exercise for at least 90 minutes (mostly just walking while listening to podcasts, but yoga is good too) Read for at least a half hour Eat something healthy Draw/creativity (I like to work on old furniture and sew as well as draw, but I think it’s good to do something creative that results in a finished proje…
/r/Divorce_Men30/06/20 03:52 AM
57

This is so nice! I love it when this sub posts HVM stuff because it’s so easy to get duped into thinking that the idiots posting about their LVM problems are all that exist.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/06/20 07:08 AM
138

“It was the saddest thing.” If by “sad” he means “pathetic,” I’d have to agree!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/06/20 01:38 PM
14

Congratulations—this is inspirational!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/06/20 06:34 PM
2

So so true, and r/survivinginfedelity is the same thing. So many people on DDay 5 or 6
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/06/20 07:33 PM
28

I hate doing that!! It’s the worst! When I was in elementary school, Oprah had this woman on her show who described her experience in a coma. She said that she saw the patterns of her life going around in circles and when she didn’t break the pattern, it repeated and the consequences just kept getting bigger and bigger. For some reason that stuck with me. The idea of this growing consequences for repeated actions is one of the reasons that I’m getting a divorce. My husband had an affair with his…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/06/20 03:25 AM
4

Beautiful work!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/06/20 08:52 PM
11

If you don’t want to ghost him, schedule the breakup. Write it in sharpie on your calendar or put it in your phone. I get really nervous about confrontation, and scheduling it helps make it seem like something I have to do and can’t put off. Also, writing out exactly what you want to say helps—keep it simple and short: “Kyle, This isn’t working out for me. I’m not happy. We need to break up.” If he’s manipulative or you think he’ll argue with you to get you to stay, avoid phrases like “I think” …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/04/20 10:08 AM
61

People who love you love when you’re excited and want to share your interests. This is so sweet!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/04/20 09:44 AM
44

It’s funny because the stories I see about men who actually read this sub end up doing some self improvement too. They start showing their wife some attention and helping around the house without making her nag until she just gives up and does it herself. They realize that their dead bedrooms or inability to get a date might be their fault! Like, the “strategy” is to look for men who actively contribute to your happiness—it’s not super secret stuff here, mostly just common sense.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/04/20 09:42 AM
32

So glad you’re on your way to a better type of relationship. Thank you for sharing your story & I wish you just the best of luck going forward!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/04/20 10:03 PM
6

I think everyone has their own obsessions and you gotta find someone who has interests that compliment your own, and you gotta find someone who doesn’t let their obsessions take over their lives or make them into jerks who ignore the people they claim to love.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/04/20 11:24 PM
153

JesusMaryAndJoseph. That is just willfully refusing to see your wife’s contributions to your life. I believe it though: so many men on those subs really think their wives are just sitting at home eating bonbons. I saw one dude say that his wife hung out with her friends every week and later clarified in the comments that she was going to PTA meetings. Ugh!!!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/04/20 03:15 AM
423

That is so so so true. You’ve articulated a fundamental truth about our society!! If women only did what men say they need—like literally just made food and fucked them—maybe they would get it. So many men DO NOT RECOGNIZE the contributions of women in their own relationships. Slight tangent: I’m on a bunch of the divorce subreddits right now, and it drives me crazy! Every so often a man posts something that’s like, “I do work and bring home the monies while she does NOthINg aLL dAY! We have 5 k…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/04/20 01:52 AM
7

It’s not like it sounds like he would help her or lighten the load if a baby comes into the picture anyway. Single mother by choice sounds easier and more fun than having a husband who brings down your mood and adds to your workload
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/03/20 08:08 PM
23

I’m really worried about her bringing a baby to some rando’s house on a first date. I wouldn’t go by myself to a man’s house without really knowing him well and bringing a my baby seems really really reckless. Maybe appeal to her sense of safety? I mean, doesn’t she watch some Law & Order or True Crime Docs?? Seems like she’s disregarding her and her child’s safety because of men, which is so scary! Can you share some FDS stuff with her? Can you call out some similar Pick Me behaviors of a celeb…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/03/20 04:29 AM
3

This was the perfect thing to say—I needed to hear it. Thank you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/03/20 07:40 PM
5

Thank you! I’m sorry you had to go through this too, but I’m glad you made it through! You make me feel like my optimism for the future isn’t misplaced :)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/03/20 05:07 PM
18

Not super great, but on the mend: he still hasn’t seen anyone for his depression and now it’s compounded by shame and regret, although he says he’s happy that he’s not keeping secrets from me anymore. He’s had some time since DDay, and I think he’s slowly adjusting to this new normal. He’s also working hard to make sure my life and our daughters’ life is as easy as possible going forward (not fighting child support, easily coming to agreement on custody, setting up alimony to pay for my master’s…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/03/20 04:41 PM
25

Thanks. The breakup was definitely a really hard thing to go through, but even so I really don’t regret having been married. I had a lot of fun and a lot of experiences I wouldn’t have had if I’d been single, I have an absolutely perfect little girl because of my marriage, and because I was formally married I now have way more financial security in raising her on my own. The marriage didn’t work out, but life is good!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/03/20 03:52 PM
41

You don’t. But in my opinion it’s not the worst thing in the world if it doesn’t work out, you just can’t be afraid to leave. My husband started off super high value & we traveled all over the world together and had a great time. He cooked and cleaned and bought me presents and took me on random road trips. I liked his friends and he supported my goals. I was in love and so was he. I very much enjoyed being married and had a lot of good years with him. Then about 10 years into the relationship, …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/03/20 03:24 PM
115

And because there are men and relationships like this, it lowers the bar for all men. Women put up with shit because at least it isn’t THAT shit, and this woman puts up with this horrible life because at least he isn’t physically violent.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/03/20 02:18 PM
103

This is so true. And I think it’s true for all high value people. A man who NEEDS you—to take care of him, to cook and clean and buy present for his mother’s birthday, to be his therapist—is a huge red flag. High value women and high value men are self sufficient and content with themselves as people. They don’t NEED anyone, they want someone who adds to their happiness and joy. This whole “you complete me” stuff is nonsense. If you aren’t complete, you aren’t ready for a serious relationship. K…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/03/20 05:15 PM
34

BuT CoNDomS doN’T fEeL gOOd! 🙄
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/03/20 03:02 PM
44

And like, I’ll never understand this “it’ll ruin my life” shit from men anyway. I just had a baby and my life isn’t that different—I do all the same things as before, I’ve just got a little buddy to do them with. My STBXH’s life is even less changed because I do most of the baby care. Like, dude, if you don’t want to change your life, you don’t have to? The bar for fathers is on the ground. You now have to hold a kid while I get a bottle ready? If you don’t want to do that, you can literally lea…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/03/20 02:01 PM
9

These are all great.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/03/20 12:42 AM
26

Schedule a breakup on your calendar (preferably in sharpie so you don’t get the urge to reschedule). Look at a calendar so you don’t accidentally break up with someone near their birthday or when you are in the heat of the moment and get dragged into a long discussion or emotional outburst. The just say, “I want to break up, this just isn’t working for me.” And preferably have something scheduled afterwards so you can say you have to get going.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/03/20 12:42 AM
3

My husband and I were in a similar boat. Took us forever to decide to split after he cheated with a coworker while I was pregnant with our first child. We tried to make it work for the sake of baby, but it didn’t. I would say that one of the reasons I tried to make it work was that I was afraid of being able to make it on my own with a new baby. The thought of learning how to do taxes and live on my own ON TOP OF learning to be a new parent was super overwhelming. I imagine your wife is also wor…
/r/Divorce_Men21/03/20 02:56 PM
23

I agree with you. To go on a tangent, I think HVM do give compliments to their male friends. My brother and his friends are always giving out compliments to each other—saying things like “I like that coat!” or “damn, Rick is a good cook: this food is delicious!” My HVM coworker would compliment work done well and the ties our friends wore and whatever. Men who are secure in themselves have no problem complimenting men and giving actual, genuine, appropriate compliments to women. It’s the LVM tha…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/03/20 05:38 PM
15

I agree—definitely does not deserve all of the respect and sympathy he was getting in the comments! And what kind of woman knowingly dates a convicted rapist?! That is some next-level Pick Me shit right there. And it is so scary that he thinks he is redeemable in his own mind. Like this was a “mistake that HE has to live with,” as if his victims aren’t the ones who actually have to live with the consequences of his actions for the rest of their lives. You are right—Don’t be a victim—and to add o…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/03/20 02:41 AM
9

You are 100% right. It’s a simple statement, but just saying “the consequences of dating are NOT equal” is profound and true and something that SO MANY PEOPLE just totally deny. Ps—love your screen name!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/03/20 10:15 AM
5

Yay!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/03/20 01:19 PM
12

I agree: not a prize. I love your analogy to a job. Prizes don’t require ongoing effort once won. Jobs, like a relationship, will kick you out if you start slacking.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/03/20 01:13 PM
8

This is great! I’d add that Ted Talks can be helpful. This Ted Talk was really helpful to me when my husband’s affair came to light, and then I journaled based on the steps he talks about in the video. I really think it helped me untangle all of the emotions that were twisted up in my head.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/03/20 03:43 AM
8

I think so! :)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/03/20 02:21 PM
107

My mom always told me to do happiness checks on the 3s—3 dates: you happy? 3 weeks: still happy? 3 months: he still making you smile? If the answer is “no,” you get out a sharpie and schedule the breakup on your calendar.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/03/20 06:32 AM
3

Oh my god the comments are even worse. “I can’t think of a first date other than coffee or maybe walking around a park” seriously???
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/03/20 01:48 PM
2

Will do & right back atcha :)
/r/Divorce_Men04/12/19 01:53 AM
1

Yeah, I feel like a meeting with a professional is probably in the best interest of both people as long as you do it together. I’d like to run our papers by an aunt of mine who would do it for free and I’m hoping that doesn’t come off as hostile, but I also don’t want to botch the process or get wildly taken advantage of. i would only do that with his full knowledge: no sneaking or secrets. I also don’t want to escalate and end up spending money we don’t have fighting over stuff. I think that as…
/r/Divorce_Men04/12/19 01:28 AM
1

You sound like me & my husband. He had an affair, but I don’t see the point in holding onto anger—if he doesn’t love me anymore, it sucks, but it is what it is. We’re living together for 2 years or when the divorce is finalized, whichever comes first. We have a newborn, so this way I can take a year off of work and he can see her everyday when he gets home from work (if we didn’t have this arrangement, baby and I would probably have to go live with my parents in out of state). He is definitely t…
/r/Divorce_Men04/12/19 12:59 AM
2

It’s not wrong at all. Empathy is not a bad thing and spouses—even soon to be ex spouses—have often been important people in the landscapes of our lives.
/r/Divorce_Men07/11/19 02:24 AM
7

Damn. Dump him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/10/19 12:07 AM
2

Have you told him that you find it disrespectful and had a conversation about it? I’ve found that a TON of people have no idea that they’re being rude by being late or canceling plans last minute. Whatever else you decide to do, make sure he understands that he’s being a jerk by making you waste your time.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/10/19 02:20 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

© TheRedArchive 2026. All rights reserved.
created by /u/dream-hunter