~ archived since 2018 ~
~ archived since 2018 ~
| Upvotes | Title | Category | Author | Subreddit | Date (UTC) |
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| Upvotes | Comment on | Subreddit | Date (UTC) |
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| 3 | Men in long term marriages, what holds you back to leave your wife?You are sadly mistaken if you believe divorce attorneys don't tell their female clients to fabricate domestic violence claims. Look up the "Silver Bullet" method for divorce. It will be eye opening. | /r/Divorce_Men | 14/06/26 08:14 PM |
| 3 | Feels like a stab to the heart.She might not have actively cheated before she gave you the divorce talk, but that's doubtful. Odds are she had already stepped out on you. Even if she hadn't actually done the deed, she was planning it and working towards it. She is a cheater. It hurts right now. All of us in this sub have been there. Know that it does get better. Lawyer up immediately and get ready to fight for your future. Listen to your attorney. Do what they tell you to do. Look up the Grey Rock attitude. It's not a ploy to… | /r/Divorce_Men | 28/02/26 09:27 PM |
| 1 | Opinion/ 2 centsHer owing you money is a good thing. Never set yourself on fire to keep someone else warm. Fight for everything you can reasonably get. You will be able to use those resources to take better care of your kids and yourself later on. Ten years from now you will be very glad you fought for your future. | /r/Divorce_Men | 26/01/26 07:34 PM |
| 10 | Shocking trends with women and divorceThe marriage rates are also at a record low point. People are seeing that marriage is not worth the risks. | /r/Divorce_Men | 14/07/25 07:40 PM |
| 9 | STBXW wants me to put her firstShort answer: F her. Not your circus, not your monkey anymore. Dealing with selfishness sux. | /r/Divorce_Men | 19/06/25 08:14 PM |
| 2 | Wife said something that I can’t comprehendHate to break it to you, but she's not fully committed. Divorce is on her mind for whatever reason. | /r/Divorce_Men | 07/06/25 02:46 PM |
| 5 | 4 years post divorce now Ex wants to change financial aspects of a divorce decree that SHE WROTE.Good luck in your court fight. Ex wives tend to be money hungry in my experience. Let your attorney handle it. Don't ever again communicate with your ex in this lifetime. Your situation is why attorneys will inform their clients to not negotiate a settlement that gives the ex money at the time of divorce in order to reduce future child support. You can't negotiate away child support in the US. She and the demon child support agencies can always come after you for more money in following years. A… | /r/Divorce_Men | 02/11/24 05:00 PM |
| 2 | How to deal with upcoming AnniversaryNo contact whatsoever. She will look at you as weak at best. At worst, she'll call her girlfriends and get a good chuckle your expense. Harsh but true. Do something fun for yourself. Preferably something active. Keep moving forward. | /r/Divorce_Men | 25/08/24 08:16 PM |
| 4 | Do you regret getting divorced?No | /r/Divorce_Men | 01/08/24 10:23 AM |
| 6 | Can’t forget my wife’s words…Yes, they will. Went through parental alienation by my exW. Didn't see much of my kids for years. It's been better since they are now young adults but it was rough as hell while going through it. At times, I wasn't sure if I would make it through to see the other side. Talked to someone else just a little while ago who is going through it with their kids. They called me asking for advice. His exW has turned his kids against him. He rarely hears from them and almost never sees them now. He was a … | /r/Divorce_Men | 04/07/24 12:54 AM |
| 4 | How to deal with been physically terrified of marrying my girlfriendOf course she does. More cash and prizes for her if you two break up in the future. Since over half of all marriages end in divorce, the odds are good that it will happen. If you want to be with someone and build a life together then be with them. But don't get married to do it. Going into a marriage, it's all champagne and roses. Getting out of a marriage makes you realize a divorce is simply dissolving an unsuccessful joint business venture with individuals who can't stand the sight of each ot… | /r/Divorce_Men | 25/06/24 05:09 PM |
| 8 | Deciding if I should stayBrother, people with BPD don't get better. As someone else said, they can only learn to somewhat manage it. That takes years of hard work and intensive therapy. The reality of it is very few with the disorder are willing to put in that kind of work over a lifetime. It doesn't go away; it will always be there lurking in the background. I'm speaking from experience of having been in your shoes. Run. Run fast. Make a life for yourself and your kids. Don't even think about her needs. I know it sound… | /r/Divorce_Men | 25/06/24 12:02 AM |
| 5 | Confused by the challenges after a potential breakupOP, this is the answer. If she brought up divorce, she's just delaying while she puts her exit plan in place. I'm an older guy, and I've never seen a relationship work out once the D word was dropped. I would strongly recommend you go see an attorney and prepare. Make sure you come out the other side as financially solvent as possible. If you have joint bank accounts, discuss with your attorney about splitting the contents and opening up a new account in your name only. For joint credit cards, f… | /r/Divorce_Men | 18/06/24 07:00 PM |
| 5 | Stbxw graduates uni todayGoogle Briffault's Law. Basically, it explains the saying "what have you done for me... lately" as it applies to dealing with most women. Women don't care about what you did for them in the past. The past is over and done in their minds and has no meaning to them. Their concern is what they can get you to do or provide for them currently and in the future. That's why I recommend men stay single. | /r/Divorce_Men | 15/06/24 11:49 PM |
| 4 | 50/50 is changing to 86/14Phenomenal comment. | /r/Divorce_Men | 19/05/24 05:54 PM |
| 1 | Stay at home dads, how did you do it?As someone told me when I was going through the divorce, "don't set yourself on fire to keep someone else warm". That means go for alimony and child support. If the roles were reversed, you can be sure your STBXW would do it. Use the money to get yourself and your son into a strong financial position. Get back on your feet and work hard to build a good life. | /r/Divorce_Men | 14/05/24 10:41 PM |
| 2 | Alimony / Disability FraudYes, it is very unfortunate and isn't fair. However, family courts are generally very biased against men. Your brother needs to focus on getting the best deal he can for the area in which he lives. His attorney, if competent and experienced with these types of cases, should have a good idea of how a particular jurisdiction will handle certain circumstances. If his attorney is a bargain basement hire, your brother might want to look at hiring someone else. | /r/Divorce_Men | 09/05/24 07:56 PM |
| 2 | Alimony / Disability FraudNot having all of the details, I'd recommend listening to his attorney. Fraud will likely be difficult to prove in court, and a lot of family court judges won't care anyway. | /r/Divorce_Men | 09/05/24 07:43 PM |
| 8 | Someone snitched on me for being at a bar with another womanThey are a troll. Check their history. Edit: typo | /r/Divorce_Men | 08/05/24 09:12 PM |
| 8 | Mother's dayPlease listen to the guys telling you to lawyer up and get your ducks lined out. We are all talking with the voice if experience. Reconciliation very rarely works once the wife has mentioned the D word. And why would you want to be with someone who has to be convinced to stick around. All it's going to do is delay the inevitable and cost more money. Get a plan in place ASAP and get it done. Read the other stories here in this subreddit. Time after time, you will read about regrets for delaying t… | /r/Divorce_Men | 08/05/24 01:14 AM |
| 1 | Trying to ventSorry you are dealing with this kind of behavior. It sux. Just keep fighting for what is yours as long as it makes sound financial sense. Don't pay so much in lawyer fees that you screw yourself. It can be a fine line between fighting for what's right and throwing good money after bad. 50/50 custody is a hill to die on though. Unfortunately, family courts are heavily biased towards women. It's a bitter pill to choke down. As a PSA to any men thinking of marriage, never pay off the debts a woman … | /r/Divorce_Men | 05/05/24 07:19 PM |
| 18 | She is refusing to sign divorce papers, which is my proof that I have made the correct decision to move forward with divorce.She might be trying to get alimony or other cash and prizes from you. The longer you are legally married, the more she can potentially get. In some states, 10 years of marriage can mean you have to pay lifetime alimony. If you want a divorce ASAP, then hire an attorney ASAP. Listen to them and do what they tell you to do. Have them get a trial date on the court calendar. That's your fastest path through. Once you are free, stay free. Don't let yourself get wrapped up in this kind of mess again. … | /r/Divorce_Men | 02/05/24 09:57 AM |
| 10 | What bucket list items are you planning on doing when you get divorcedGo for a long drive for a few days without any particular destination in mind. Just go where the spirit moves you and explore what you come upon. It was great and met some very cool folks. | /r/Divorce_Men | 01/05/24 09:12 PM |
| 4 | Divorce dissonanceSpeaking as one of the men who was financially destroyed during divorce and had kids alienated from them, all I can say is: Never. Again. Marriage, or even a LTR, aren't worth it. The court system and child support agencies are too biased against the husband and father, at least in my area. Marriage is a high risk proposition, especially regarding finances. Even dating is typically a money drain, and for what? Some "companionship"? I was never more alone than when I was married. There are some g… | /r/Divorce_Men | 07/03/24 03:17 PM |
| 1 | I need helpIt sucks to be in this situation. Try another attorney possibly. Child support is a racket beyond a certain point, and courts generally favor the female. As for your mother, what she did was horrible. I'd recommend limiting contact with her to a minimum or stop it altogether. That's a case of females preferring other females, even to the detriment of their own blood. I've been there, too. It's not a good place. | /r/Divorce_Men | 06/03/24 08:40 PM |
| 11 | Wife is dragging her feetSorry you are here brother. Unfortunately, by the time a wife talks about divorce, she is already months to years ahead of you. She's already accepted it and is only looking for the exit out. Your best bet is to go Gray Rock (look up the term) and get your ducks in a row for divorce. Don't talk to her anymore than is absolutely necessary and don't beg, plead, or negotiate. She already has lost respect for you and will lose even more if you do. If legal where you live, get a voice activated recor… | /r/Divorce_Men | 26/02/24 04:40 AM |
| 2 | Sock Day!Congratulations! Welcome to the wonderful world of freedom. | /r/Divorce_Men | 16/02/24 12:52 PM |
| 3 | Phew.Good luck. May God have mercy on your soul. | /r/Divorce_Men | 16/02/24 01:18 AM |
| 6 | How much was too much?Yep. My ExW did this. Shocker, she was the one cheating. | /r/Divorce_Men | 13/02/24 12:47 AM |
| 3 | Having a very hard timeOP, do not leave your house unless ordered to do so by a judge or after consultation with your attorney. Go back and read that first sentence again. If you leave, many courts will look at it as you abandoning your family and home. That will put you in a very difficult situation to overcome during the divorce proceedings. If she needs "space to find herself" or "time to think", she should be the one to move out (and without the kid). The reality is that once she says the D word, she is already mu… | /r/Divorce_Men | 11/02/24 04:02 PM |
| 13 | Divorced for 20+ Years[ Removed by Reddit ] | /r/Divorce_Men | 09/02/24 05:59 PM |
| 4 | Happy sock day to me!Congratulations! Go and live a great life without the unnecessary stress. | /r/Divorce_Men | 07/02/24 05:04 AM |
| 8 | Wife tells me she wants to stay together before our divorce gets finalized.In other words, her monkey branching attempt failed, and she wants to run home to be taken care of by her Plan B (you) while she regroups. She will more than likely leave again after she puts some money away and finds another branch to try for. It's extremely difficult to work things out after this kind of situation. Even if you stay together, you will always wonder when it will happen again. | /r/Divorce_Men | 04/02/24 03:40 PM |
| 4 | I’m glad to be getting divorcedI saw an interview with him where he talked about it. If memory serves, he defaulted on his payments after the hit show ended and so he didn't make enough money to pay his ex. He's living in America now and can't go back to Canada or else he faces legal problems. Marriage is a scam for most guys. Never again. | /r/Divorce_Men | 04/02/24 01:04 AM |
| 11 | TIL I'm manipulative, I guessDon't let her play you. She wants the advantages of being married (money) without having to be married. The odds of reconciliation are slim to none, and none already left town. Once a woman gets the divorce idea in her head, it's over. Time to get the divorce done before she starts wanting everything you own along with full custody, child support, and alimony. Hate that you are going through this, but you should now be focused on being a good father and having enough money to have a good post-di… | /r/Divorce_Men | 03/02/24 03:11 PM |
| 1 | Divorce Songs List RecommendationsGreat playlist. A lot of those songs are on my workout list and helped me get through my divorce and the aftermath. | /r/Divorce_Men | 01/02/24 09:20 PM |
| 3 | Divorced my abusive covert narcissist wife a year ago and still estranged from my familyNo. Don't expect she ever will. Most women tend to look out for each other, as I have learned. Although my sisters thankfully see through my ex's BS and don't have much to do with her. | /r/Divorce_Men | 23/01/24 01:12 PM |
| 7 | Divorced my abusive covert narcissist wife a year ago and still estranged from my familyUnfortunately, narc/BPD individuals can be really good at playing other people. Watched my ex con my mother for a long time. It got to the point where my mom buddied up with my ex after the divorce and took her side although my ex cheated. My mom even advised my ex about how to come after me for more money post divorce. I've gone no contact with my ex, especially now that the kids are adults, and I have limited contact with my mom. It sucks, but it is what it is. Blood is not always thicker than… | /r/Divorce_Men | 23/01/24 01:01 AM |
| 1 | Grey divorce, teen children and retirementOP, please listen to this advice. Most of the time, the STBXW is several steps ahead by the time the term Divorce is mentioned. She likely has divorced friends advising her along with an attorney. The announcement coincides with the timing of you at peak earnings and her getting ready to train so as to greatly improve hers. This way, her payout is maximized versus waiting a few years. Divorce is essentially the dissolution of a business contract. It's all about dollars and pennies. Make sure you… | /r/Divorce_Men | 18/01/24 09:20 PM |
| 9 | Did counselling help any men?For the guys I've talked to, couples counseling was a waste of time. Individual counseling can be good. Once that light switch has been flipped, it's almost impossible for a woman to turn it around. Some regret it after they get out in the real world, but it's too late at that point. Never take back an ex. | /r/Divorce_Men | 15/01/24 04:53 AM |
| 12 | Someone talk some sense into me.Don't tell her anything. Wait until you are back home and have her served after you have your ducks in a row. Make sure you have secured your important papers and valuables before you say anything. If your attorney says it's legal where you live, keep a voice activated recorder and/or cameras recording during any interactions with her. She is now your adversary and will likely try to take you for whatever she can get from you. There's a high probability she will go as far as making things up abo… | /r/Divorce_Men | 30/12/23 02:12 AM |
| 6 | The WifeyLol! Mine was the same with Psycho in front. Finally changed it to make sure my kids didn't accidentally see it. | /r/Divorce_Men | 28/12/23 08:11 PM |
| 3 | Unsure how to move forward or if the situation is salvageableYou probably won't ever get honesty from her. It's best to put that need out of your mind. Cheaters will lie as long as possible. They don't want to be bad people in other's eyes. My ex still won't admit to cheating, and it has been many years since it happened. Moving forward isn't easy. It will take time, and you will have setbacks along the way. Just don't give up, and you will get there. It's hard to imagine now, but one day you will look at your ex and wonder what in the heck you ever saw i… | /r/Divorce_Men | 26/12/23 06:59 PM |
| 6 | Unsure how to move forward or if the situation is salvageableIt's tough, but the only way out of this is to move forward until you reach the end. Your STBXW has been trickle truthing you and is using you as a provider until she finds out if the new branch she's swinging to is solid. It's probably not, but that is no longer your concern. Don't try to lessen her fall if, and likely when, the branch breaks. Your thoughts need to be on your kid and doing what you need to do to make a good life for them and you. Most of us have been in your shoes. It does get … | /r/Divorce_Men | 26/12/23 05:49 PM |
| 8 | Unsure how to move forward or if the situation is salvageableUnfortunately, your marriage is over. Sorry you find yourself here. Don't try to reconcile with a cheater. You will never forget it, and it will eventually cause problems down the road. When a woman tells you she is done, she's already being thinking about it for months and possibly years. It's time to hire an attorney and get it started. After talking to the attorney, start separating finances and putting yourself in a position to be OK if wierd things happen. When I say weird things, I mean fa… | /r/Divorce_Men | 26/12/23 05:13 PM |
| 4 | Finally, Finally done. The last hang over piece of the divorce - 4 1/2 years later.Congrats on your freedom! Paying that last payment is a fantastic feeling! | /r/Divorce_Men | 22/12/23 04:12 AM |
| 2 | UnhingedIt would do you a world of good to read No More Mr. Nice Guy by Dr. Glover. As a recovering Nice Guy, I highly recommend it. And like basically every other commenter has said, stop stepping in and dealing with these headaches for your ex. Tell her to put on her big girl panties and be a parent. Parenting is hard work. If your ex can't handle your daughter, tell her you would be happy to have your daughter come live with you. Permanently. Don't allow your ex to make living with you be a punishmen… | /r/Divorce_Men | 20/12/23 01:54 AM |
| 5 | Need financial advice.OP, please listen to this post. He speaking the truth to you. Another truth is that even if you move to Hawaii, it doesn't mean your ex will let you see your kids more often. She has a financial incentive to keep the status quo and won't willingly give up child support money. You are making this decision based on emotion instead of logic. That's a recipe for disaster. It hurts to lose time with your kids. I've lived it myself. However, it's not forever. Your kids will be adults soon and will be … | /r/Divorce_Men | 09/12/23 05:43 PM |
| 2 | Is getting married even worth it?No, it's not. If you find someone who you want to be with forever, then that's good. Be with them. Make a life together and try to make it the best possible. Have kids, etc. But never sign a marriage contract. Also, be aware that some states and countries have common law marriage with different triggers where you can become married in the eyes of the law without ever actually getting married. Do whatever it takes to not trigger the standards which would qualify as a common law marriage. Most mar… | /r/Divorce_Men | 06/12/23 02:53 PM |
| 3 | Ex Called to Meet UpDon't. Nothing good can come from it. She's in your past for a reason. | /r/Divorce_Men | 04/12/23 11:35 PM |
| 6 | Should I get married?Absolutely not. The risks outweigh the rewards by far. | /r/Divorce_Men | 01/12/23 12:54 PM |
| 12 | Divorce Realization: We are all dating our Exes.I'd rather not give a specific age, but will say I'm closer to retirement age than not. I now have a chance at a decent retirement, but it was a difficult journey. Rebuilding after the divorce was rough and took years. I advise to stay single if you want to retire early. No one should be able to get free money from the hard work of others. | /r/Divorce_Men | 26/11/23 07:04 PM |
| 32 | Divorce Realization: We are all dating our Exes.After my divorce, I saw female behavior without the blinders on. I had been taught to want to find a good woman, marry, have kids, and work hard to provide that white picket fence lifestyle. In other words, I was programmed to be a wage slave who willingly placed the collar of servitude around my own neck while striving to keep up with the ever changing "needs" of my now exwife. Insanity. Very few women are willing to accept the fact they were at least 50% of the problem in their failed marriage… | /r/Divorce_Men | 26/11/23 06:01 PM |
| 8 | What advice would you give to men to protect their assetsGet really good at praying. It might help. Lol! Otherwise, like has been said, go to an estate attorney and follow their advice. Even then, it's a gamble since you will most likely have a job which produces income during the marriage and will also generally accrue assets like in a 401K or other retirement account. When you divorce, money made during the marriage is typically going to be considered marital assets, and she will be given half or more. The only way to win is to choose not to play th… | /r/Divorce_Men | 22/11/23 04:39 AM |
| 5 | Am I overthinking the consequences of getting married?I've been around hundreds of married couples in my life. Most ended in divorce. Of the marriages which lasted at least several decades, I've seen exactly one where the couple still were "in love" with each other and were observably "happy" together. Another couple were pretty close and were still glad to be together after over 4 decades. That's a total of 2. Out of hundreds. As I said, most marriages don't make it decades. And most of the ones that do, the couple just seems to be going through t… | /r/Divorce_Men | 18/11/23 03:48 PM |
| 2 | My Soul hurtsSorry you are here brother. It's tough and takes time to get better. Keep doing what you have to do to keep your job going and your kids taken care of. A lot of us have been there. We put our wives on a pedestal and treated them as well as possible. Unfortunately, women tend to look down on guys who do that. The saying is if you treat her like a queen, she will treat you like a subject. It sounds crazy, but it tends to be the truth. None of us are blameless and fell short of being perfect husban… | /r/Divorce_Men | 16/11/23 10:20 PM |
| 1 | Back to this thread after finding out my wife’s infidelity. Should I inform the other person’s wife?Don't do anything until you talk to an attorney. Listen to them. Use the disclosure of the affair as leverage against your STBXW if needed. After the divorce is over, tell the AP's wife somehow. She deserves to know. | /r/Divorce_Men | 15/11/23 12:51 PM |
| 3 | Am I getting screwed ?Normally, inheritances are not split in a divorce. It depends on how you handled the money from the sale of the inherited house and the state in which you live. If you commingled the money with marital assets, you might have screwed yourself. Hate to tell you but your retirement is likely in play even though she spent hers years ago. You need to talk to an attorney ASAP! | /r/Divorce_Men | 15/11/23 12:34 PM |
| 3 | The fight?Balanced truth? You'll be sorely disappointed if you are looking for balance in a divorce. The reality is not balanced. For whatever reason, such as mental illness, another man (very likely), or you didn't fulfill her ever changing wants and desires, she made the decision that she feels like she will be better off without you. It doesn't have to be a reason that is rational to you. She just needs to feel like it's what she wants. Notice I kept talking about her "feeling" a certain way. Feelings … | /r/Divorce_Men | 11/11/23 05:11 PM |
| 22 | How to let go of the bitterness? Adult daughters tried to manipulate me to leave the house to their motherSorry you experienced this. With your daughters, you experienced female own group preference. Women tend to stick together. It sucks to have your children turn against you. I've been in a similar situation. I'm working to build a better relationship with my kids now they are grown, but I'm not sure it will ever be anything like it was pre-divorce. I recommend continuing therapy. Also recommend working to forgive your daughters even if you decide to keep them out of your life. Bitterness eats you… | /r/Divorce_Men | 06/11/23 01:43 AM |
| 3 | Planning on divorcing my wife... horrified by the fact that I will be single for a long timeAfter you are done with your divorce, being alone will probably seem like the smartest choice you could make. | /r/Divorce_Men | 31/10/23 10:10 PM |
| 4 | A video that shows just how nasty and crazy she can be in courtReading this brought back bad memories. Went through something similar where my ex's attorney tried to get her to make false DV allegations against me. I used to think she didn't do it because she still possessed a shred of decency. Found out much later that she was just afraid of me being fired and not bringing in a paycheck. If I lost my job, my future earnings potential would have gone way down, and she wouldn't have been able to get as much money out of me. That's why I don't recommend marri… | /r/Divorce_Men | 15/10/23 11:33 PM |
| 34 | Would like a man's perspectiveVirtue signaling. What an excuse for trying to keep kids away from their father. | /r/Divorce_Men | 14/10/23 09:04 PM |
| 49 | Separated about to reconcile but wife has told me she slept with someoneAbsolutely correct. Sounds like OP is being trickle truthed. The guy she wanted just hit it, quit it, and left her on the street. Once divorce has been put on the table to this extent, it's over. She wants to stay with you until she finds her next bigger better deal. At which point, she will be able to tell her friends that "she tried everything, but she's still just not happy being married". She will want to go off and find herself which is short for wanting to see what other men she can be wit… | /r/Divorce_Men | 13/10/23 09:29 PM |
| 1 | The Story So FarYou're a guy so I'm going to speak plainly to you. Have you lost your everloving mind?! Thinking she will act in good faith is along the lines of a kid who believes Santa Claus will slide down the chimney with a bag full of presents in a couple of months. Not a realistic belief and not a safe plan for the future. You are going into battle and are already thinking of retreating as your opening gambit. A very true saying is you don't really know the woman you married until you are divorcing her. S… | /r/Divorce_Men | 13/10/23 02:36 AM |
| 19 | My boyfriend (30M) broke up with me after I admitted that I (38F) lied about me and my co-worker. he broke up with me, how can I win him back?If you actually care about your ex boyfriend, leave him alone and let him find someone else who won't screw around on him. Jesus H. | /r/Divorce_Men | 10/10/23 01:46 AM |
| 2 | I feel better todaySending good thoughts your way brother. I'm on the other side of parental alienation since my kids are now grown. It gets better. I wish I could tell you it ends up all sunshine and roses but that still remains to be seen. A lot of damage was done by my ex wife. The kids are coming around more so that is a positive. Do your best to stay in your kid's life as much as possible. May you find peace down the road. Men can take whatever this world dishes out and keep going. Don't let your ex cause you… | /r/Divorce_Men | 05/10/23 01:47 AM |
| 1 | Had a cool thing happen when I finalized. Everything always has a way of working out.Wow. Amazing. We are only to be used and discarded when no longer of use to them. I don't think most women even look at a man as being human. | /r/Divorce_Men | 29/09/23 04:09 PM |
| 7 | Wits EndSorry to tell you, but the behavior you describe are some of the red flags of cheating. A lot of us have been there. Once a woman checks out, there's not much you can do except prepare yourself for divorce. See an attorney and file. Hate to see another man in this boat. | /r/Divorce_Men | 28/09/23 12:36 AM |
| 15 | Am I a pos…Brother, there's no such thing as a soul mate. As you just found out. She doesn't respect you and is most likely cheating on you. She's acting like she's single while being married to you. Going out partying and not letting you know her whereabouts is straight from the Cheating 101 handbook. Do your future self a favor and get away from her ASAP. Divorce her and move on with your life. I recommend seeing a therapist to figure out why you married someone who treats you with such lack of considera… | /r/Divorce_Men | 07/09/23 09:47 PM |
| 1 | Equitable or equal? Depends on if the man can pay morePre-nups won't save you. Look at what Kevin Costner is going through right now. His was of limited use, and she is coming after him for more money. Marriage is not worth it. | /r/Divorce_Men | 03/09/23 09:28 PM |
| 7 | STBXW wrote she is "releasing her claim on me" and that she "releases me"It is purely a manipulation tactic. She wants to see herself as the "bigger person" so she can win brownie points from her friends, family, and possibly the judge. Don't buy into her load of crap. As you said, she is trying to take you for everything she can get. She's hoping this will open up a chink in your armor and get you to give up more than you should. It's best to laugh and ignore it. Chalk it up to just another ploy by your STBXW. | /r/Divorce_Men | 23/08/23 07:11 PM |
| 2 | No peace for men without a wifeOver a decade. No desire to do it again. One mistake of that magnitude is enough. I have known very few people who looked to be happy in marriage. At best, some were content. Most have been some degree of unhappy to miserable, for the ones that at least made it a decade or so. The ones that didn't go that long seemed to start happy and then went straight to miserable quickly. | /r/Divorce_Men | 21/08/23 06:42 PM |
| 2 | No peace for men without a wifeBWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! Oh, wait, you're being serious?! After dealing with the headaches and drama resulting from my marriage and dating relationships, I much prefer the peace of single life. Also, having more money in the bank since my wallet only opens when I choose to open it is a nice feeling. | /r/Divorce_Men | 21/08/23 05:07 PM |
| 24 | What we all knew alreadyYep. There is nothing new under the sun. It's like they follow a script. | /r/Divorce_Men | 20/08/23 04:32 PM |
| 3 | If you cant pay alimony for months due to job situation..You will very likely get dragged into court and could end up in jail if you can't pay it. You can try to have it modified, but don't bet on it actually happening. The courts tend to want money to exchange hands. | /r/Divorce_Men | 18/08/23 06:03 PM |
| 15 | Am I screwed for the rest of my life?Child support. Got lucky and didn't have to pay alimony. But having to give up a great deal of the assets was tough. Then, the years of getting nickle and dimed and getting dragged back into family court whenever she felt like she deserved more money was brutal. The courts pretty much always went in her favor even when the rules were in my favor. Having twigs and berries instead of a hole means getting rogued in court around here. But it could have been worse, a family member had to give his exw… | /r/Divorce_Men | 17/08/23 10:42 PM |
| 35 | Am I screwed for the rest of my life?My advice will always be to never marry. The risks far outweigh the rewards. It was hard enough starting over again in my 30s. Can't imagine how difficult it would be to go through it again later in life. Would likely mean having to work until death without the possibility of retiring and being able to enjoy the final years of life. That's a terrifying scenario. | /r/Divorce_Men | 17/08/23 10:05 PM |
| 3 | My ex wife went back to her ex-boy friend. We got divorced a couple of months ago mainly becuas of disputes caused by her daughter.I think you are focusing too much on the kid. I'm sure they were a factor, but it's likely your wife saw you as a stable provider type. She knew you would be good to the kid and work hard to give her and her kid a good life. The problem is women are not attracted to the stable provider types. They crave the drama of the bad boys. Being nice and kind to her caused her to devalue you. I know it sounds crazy, but I've seen it too many times over the years. Look at the popularity of daytime soap ope… | /r/Divorce_Men | 13/08/23 11:07 PM |
| 4 | My ex wife went back to her ex-boy friend. We got divorced a couple of months ago mainly becuas of disputes caused by her daughter.Sorry you are going through this. The reality is that step adds get a raw deal. They have to try to be fatherly, but don't have any of the authority of a bio dad. From what I have seen over the years, most step kids resent the new man in their mom's life and actively try to sabotage the relationship. A lot of times it's because they want their parents to get back together. It likely still won't end well the second time, but they want what they want. My advice is the standard given here. Get acti… | /r/Divorce_Men | 13/08/23 06:33 PM |
| 5 | BipolarIt's a reason, not an excuse. She is still responsible for her actions. From experience, they do not like to hold themselves accountable. She could have made the choice to not act the way she did. She just would rather give in to her feelings and go off on you because that made HER feel better. Don't listen to others. Get out while you can. She will make all kinds of promises, but it will be difficult for her to follow through. And she will have to keep following through forever. There is no poi… | /r/Divorce_Men | 12/08/23 02:24 PM |
| 113 | I dont want to take the red pill, but its hard finding a reason not to.I'm an older guy. They are "almost" all the same. There are a very few unicorns out there. However, you probably have a better chance of finding bigfoot than finding one of those unicorns that isn't already locked down by a guy. Even the unicorns will consistently shite test you and make you maintain your edge. Who the heck wants to deal with that for 50 years? Peace and being able to do what you want to do, when you want to do it is priceless. Stay single. Make money while you are young and inv… | /r/TheRedPill | 11/08/23 02:11 AM |
| 6 | What would you have done differently?I would have stayed single. Marriage is a very bad financial decision. Probably the worst a man can make. I have kids and love them. However, if I could.go back in time, I would not have had them. My exW made me out to be a horrible person and alienated the kids against me. It was a tough thing to experience. Our relationship is better now that the kids are older, and they see that their mother messed with their heads. But it left a distance between us that might not ever completely be bridged. … | /r/Divorce_Men | 07/08/23 11:32 PM |
| 2 | When did your wife’s lucid mind return?This was my experience as well. Not sure if she is capable of saying the word sorry. | /r/Divorce_Men | 05/08/23 02:42 PM |
| 19 | Feel betrayed by my familyMy mom kept buddying up to my ex after the divorce. Not just trying to be friendly for the kids, but full on taking my exW's side in disagreements. I tried to get her to stop but she wouldn't. When I called my mom out on it, she got mad at me and said she would talk to who ever she wanted. Then, proceeded to throw me out of her house. Didn't set foot in her house for two years until my sisters talked me into it. Still don't visit her very often. On the other hand, my sisters had my back. From wh… | /r/Divorce_Men | 31/07/23 03:27 AM |
| 1 | Unequal money divisionI recommend not sending her anything. Stay away from her as much as possible. She can use it to make a case that you are harassing her. Some judges will not take it kindly and can screw your world over. | /r/Divorce_Men | 31/07/23 12:00 AM |
| 9 | Would you marry again wo a prenup?Never. Look into what Kevin Costner's ex wife is doing to him. He had a prenup, and it didn't save him. | /r/Divorce_Men | 30/07/23 07:12 PM |
| 3 | I woke up like this….This post should be stickied. | /r/Divorce_Men | 22/07/23 07:41 PM |
| 19 | Noticed a trend, they always leave when it gets hardLook up Briffault's Law. It explains this situation. In a nutshell, it means most women ask their husbands "What have you done for me...lately." Like the old Janet Jackson song. It doesn't matter what a man did for them in the past; it is all about what he has done lately and promises to do in the near future. A man that loses his job or goes through a bad time and can't DO things for her and provide for her will soon cause her to be dissatisfied. She then will start to look elsewhere for some o… | /r/Divorce_Men | 20/07/23 09:27 PM |
| 7 | Etiquette for introducing your new gfYour buddy is falling in love way too fast. He isn't even done with his last serious relationship and is starting another one. His new flame is a rebound. That's a recipe for disaster. He needs to put some time into himself before he jumps into it again. Otherwise, he will be back here in a few years talking about his next marriage ending. | /r/Divorce_Men | 20/07/23 05:35 PM |
| 4 | CreepyAt least you finally called it off. Now just focus on your kids, do what you have to do to move on to a better life, and put her in your rear view mirror. | /r/Divorce_Men | 20/07/23 03:12 AM |
| 6 | Just a quick rant. I’m going through a divorce…Odds are it wasn't her first date while married. It's just the first one you know about. Women typically have another man waiting in the wings. These situations tend to follow a script. After you see enough of them, the script is very predictable. Even down to the language they use. | /r/Divorce_Men | 19/07/23 11:00 PM |
| 7 | Just a quick rant. I’m going through a divorce…Why do you want to be her friend? Try to be friendly, but trying to be friends with your ex is a rough road. It sounds like you still deep down think there is a chance of reconciliation. Those thoughts will keep you stuck. Don't be a jerk, but keep it polite and professional with her. Being a Nice Guy will cause you grief during the divorce. You are now in an adversarial position with her. Your goal should be to take care of your kids and to come out of the divorce in a strong financial position… | /r/Divorce_Men | 19/07/23 10:53 PM |
| 33 | I slept with my stbxwShe is setting you up. Spousal support is indentured servitude. No one should have to work to pay for their ex to sit around and do nothing. OP, you are in a fight. Don't be nice and let her walk all over you. Gray rock her. | /r/Divorce_Men | 19/07/23 02:11 AM |
| 1 | I (27m) was married for less than 1 year to someone I have known for more than 10 years. I filed for divorce twice in our marriage. I can’t explain what I feel or went through to anyone.Why would you want to be with her? It sounds like a nightmare. Move on. Build a good life away from her BS. Life is too short. | /r/Divorce_Men | 16/07/23 12:49 AM |
| 8 | Wife wants to keep IVF embryo ??Fight her on it. Don't just say no, tell her hel! no. It doesn't matter what kind of documents you sign stating she absolves you of financial responsibility. A lot of child support agencies won't care. They can still come after you for child support. Men who simply donated sperm at sperm banks have been forced to pay child support even though their donation was supposedly anonymous. Courts ruled the donation records had to be provided, and child support was assessed. Another case was of a lesbia… | /r/Divorce_Men | 13/07/23 09:38 PM |
| 0 | Is it a bad idea to blow this whole thing up?Wait until the divorce is final. Use what you know as leverage to get the best deal you can. Then, tell the AP's wife and your ex's family. | /r/Divorce_Men | 13/07/23 04:39 PM |
| 2 | Does Everyone Hate Their Ex?I'm glad your experience is going as well as it can. Sorry you find yourself here. For me, I seriously dislike my ex but don't hate her. I would have been ok with getting along with her after the divorce in the interest of co-parenting. I sucked it up and tried for the kids. However, after years of her trash talking me to our kids and others along with getting dragged back through the system whenever she thought she "deserved" more of my money, I want nothing to do with her. The damage she did b… | /r/Divorce_Men | 12/07/23 04:23 PM |
| 4 | Question for menDing, ding, ding, ding... We have a winner Johnny! You are starting to see why marriage is a horrible financial decision. You can do everything right, but if she loses the feels for you in the future you can be taken to the cleaners. It doesn't matter how hard you work or how much you lose yourself pandering to her whims (which is a very, very bad thing to do and will cause her to lose respect for you). Just don't do it. If you want to be with her, then be with her. You don't need a marriage con… | /r/Divorce_Men | 05/07/23 02:36 AM |
| 13 | I want to understand what the hell happened.Every man should made to memorize Briffault's Law when a teenager. We might not listen to and act upon the knowledge. But, when we find ourselves on the dark side of the Lightswitch Effect, we can at least look back and say we knew what we were getting into when we married. Lol! | /r/Divorce_Men | 03/07/23 11:44 PM |
| 3 | Child supportThe child support scam is a nightmare. They have a great deal of power that can be brought to bear on you. In my state, child support collection is a money making racket due to the Title IV D rules. They are given money from the federal government based on how much child support they make someone pay. And men pay the great majority of child support since women are given primary custody the majority of the time. In this area, the child support office has their own assistant DA just for child supp… | /r/Divorce_Men | 03/07/23 06:03 PM |
| 8 | Wife’s new 23 year old bfNo, you don't have to deal with her carnage if things don't work out for your wife and her new boy. You only have to be there for your kids and to take care of them. She is a grown @ss adult and can be strong and independent all by her big self. Don't step in to be her caretaker. Divorce sucks, but one of the benefits is you don't have to care what happens to her from now. OP, you are still emotionally entangled with your STBXW. You need to mentally let her go and move forward with making your o… | /r/Divorce_Men | 01/07/23 03:45 PM |
| 2 | Hello everyone, as a young man, I'm looking for advice on finding 'the one.' I'm in a relationship with an incredible girl, but I was hoping to gather insights from you all regarding potential red flags to watch out for or any proactive steps I can take to avoid the horrors many of you went through.There's no such thing as "The One". It might have been possible decades ago, but not with the way the world works now. The divorce rate is too high. There are too many distractions. A lot of it is due to hook up culture resulting from social media and the ever present dating apps. If she is at least decent looking, she has guys hitting on her constantly. The likelihood of her making the decision to trade you in on a new model during a rough patch in your marriage is very high. It isn't what you … | /r/Divorce_Men | 30/06/23 05:38 PM |
| 1 | 2.5 years of separation, finally divorcedCongratulations on your freedom! | /r/Divorce_Men | 28/06/23 11:00 AM |
| 2 | Anyone here feel like they're just never gonna date again?You are not an outlier. I dated for a while after the divorce. I quickly realized it is a nightmare. You might find a unicorn, but the odds are not high. As you get older, everyone becomes damaged goods. Myself included. Life has a way of smacking us all upside the head. The baggage we bring to a relationship gets to the point where we need a UHaul truck to cart it around. Lol! It became too much of a chore to put the effort into dealing with someone else's BS while also handling my own. I final… | /r/Divorce_Men | 25/06/23 07:49 PM |
| 5 | What is the psychology behind a man tolerating a bad marriage?I wish this post could be stickied. A very well written summary of the state of modern marriage and why not to do it. | /r/Divorce_Men | 02/06/23 12:43 PM |
| 2 | Why did she cry?Who cares? You'll never get an honest answer from her. She likely doesn't know herself. Trying to figure it out is an exercise in futility. Be glad it's over so you can move on to better days. Do something nice for yourself and enjoy your freedom. It won't be long before you look back and wonder what the heck you saw in her to begin with. My peace be with you. | /r/Divorce_Men | 31/05/23 12:20 AM |
| 3 | Couples Therapy Outcomes?In my experience, marriage counseling is worse than useless. If you are at that point, you are better off to spend your money on a good divorce attorney. Counselors are typically biased towards the woman. | /r/Divorce_Men | 29/05/23 02:35 PM |
| 1 | Ex still grills me about my lifeSorry you find yourself in this situation. It sux. But it will get better once you make it through to the other side. Put the gas pedal to the floor and get there as fast as possible. Delaying doing what you have to do only keeps you stuck. | /r/Divorce_Men | 28/05/23 09:01 PM |
| 2 | Ex still grills me about my lifeGood Gawd Almighty... OP, get an attorney and get her the heck out of your house and life. ASAP!! Then, only communicate with her through a parenting app. Don't give in and talk to her on the phone ever again. Time for both of you to put on your big boy and girl britches and do what is necessary to get the divorce done and a custody plan in place. She is trash and trying to continue to use you. She is an adult and needs to act like it. She cheated because she has no respect or regard for you. Ti… | /r/Divorce_Men | 28/05/23 08:40 PM |
| 11 | You served a purposeCongratulations on making it to freedom! | /r/Divorce_Men | 19/05/23 05:06 PM |
| 22 | Anyone win her back?It's over. Women are several steps ahead of their husbands by the time they say it. In some cases, they have been planning it for years. Their grieving is done (if they even cared to begin with). Time to go to battle so you come out the other side in as good of shape as possible. Keep things to yourself and don't talk to your now adversary about your game plan. Lawyer up and fight for what you want your future to be. Take care of yourself and your kids if you have them. Sorry you find yourself i… | /r/Divorce_Men | 19/05/23 03:38 PM |
| 36 | You served a purposeI told a female family member that women are delusional these days, and it has been made worse by online dating apps. Even a below average looking woman can go on a dating app and be hit on by many guys (aka simps or players). The problem is the men aren't looking to wife them up and are only looking to get the woman in bed. My family member didn't like it one bit, but grudgingly admitted that I was right. Lol! In the current world, guys should avoid marriage or even cohabitation like the plague… | /r/Divorce_Men | 19/05/23 03:21 PM |
| 1 | Is hiring a lawyer worth it?Hire an attorney. In a lot of states, child support cannot be waived. She can come back later and ask for support on top of what you gave her in the original settlement. And you will likely not be able to reopen the original settlement to change the other terms. In other words, you will get screwed. Sometimes, the child support agency themselves will come after you even if she is supposedly asking them to not do it. Child support agencies have a financial incentive to make sure child support is … | /r/Divorce_Men | 17/05/23 05:46 PM |
| 1 | I need a hobby for the 50% I don't have my sonFishing, hiking, camping, kayaking, or anything outdoors. Getting outside in nature is good for your soul and is generally an inexpensive way to have fun with kids. I took up leatherworking (whiskey flasks, knife sheaths, belts, holsters, briefcases, etc.). It's good to make something useful that is also artistic. I also tie fishing flies and make my own jigs and spinners, but I did these things before the divorce. Find what makes you happy. | /r/Divorce_Men | 16/05/23 10:27 PM |
| 2 | Brad Browning vs Stephen WaldoYes. OP should go get an attorney and at least do an initial consultation. Works for both scenarios. At least she is looking for a job, and he should actively encourage her to do so. Should help reduce his liability for paying alimony. For either case, it sounds like she has already checked out of the marriage. From the limited information given, there's a good chance she is cheating or wanting to explore her options. | /r/Divorce_Men | 14/05/23 03:13 PM |
| 2 | Engaged: Finance AdviceBut she loooooves him. She is different. She would never do that to him. Lol! This is sarcasm in case no one could tell. OP, don't get married. Probably the biggest risk you will ever experience. It might be great for years, but then it won't be. People change. Hormones activate. Her friends stick their noses into your lives and start whispering that "he doesn't deserve you and doesn't treat you like the Queen you are". Getting married is all sunshine and roses. Getting divorced is the dissoluti… | /r/Divorce_Men | 10/05/23 05:08 PM |
| 6 | Feel like back at step 1. Anyone else been here?That last sentence should be carved in stone. Lol! Just think about what Cameron gets... a lying, cheating scum bag of a person who will also cheat on him when the relationship gets old and she loses the tingles. OP, go on to have a good life and enjoy watching the karma coming for Cameron and your ex. | /r/Divorce_Men | 08/05/23 08:03 PM |
| 1 | AcceptanceYou are getting to a good mind space. One of these days, you'll look back and wonder what you ever saw in her to begin with. It gets better. | /r/Divorce_Men | 08/05/23 07:47 PM |
| 16 | Help.Get out while you still can. False charges are in your future if you don't. | /r/Divorce_Men | 06/05/23 04:25 PM |
| 8 | Wife asked for divorce this week. Terrible feeling. Making slow steps to rebuild but am needing camaraderie and shoulders to lean on.Sorry you are here. Make time to take care of yourself. Whatever you do, don't beg or plead with your STBXW. It's hard, but accept that your marriage is over and start building a new life for yourself. Look at it as an opportunity to shake things up if that's what you want. Go back to school so you can change careers or get ahead in your current job. Unfortunately, it sounds like she might be cheating or is weighing her options to begin to do so. Cheaters tend to read from the same script and ha… | /r/Divorce_Men | 06/05/23 12:44 AM |
| 4 | Need adviceYour marriage is over. It's time to lawyer up and fight for your kids. Ask yourself why you want to stay with someone who treats you like this. Continuing individual counseling seems like a good idea for you. Good luck to you brother. | /r/Divorce_Men | 05/05/23 07:07 PM |
| 5 | un-married w/ Kids (2). I want to leave in a few years. let them live in my house. Here's my plan.No offense, but it would be hard to think of a worse idea. This idea might, and I say might, be ok if you are independently wealthy and money is not a factor. Since you aren't filthy rich, you would live to regret it. Do you want to pay for a house in which she will end up getting ran through by other guys? Because that will eventually happen. When you split, get as much custody time as possible and pay her as little child support as you can get by with. Don't fall on your sword and give her a p… | /r/Divorce_Men | 05/05/23 05:10 PM |
| 12 | Just venting but I'm so angry right now I could spit bulletsIt's hard to just turn off your feelings. You actually care about her. It shows you are a decent person. Now, having said that, she's not your problem to have to deal with anymore. Not your circus, not your monkey. Continuing to be her knight in shining armor will only keep you enmeshed with her. That's not a place you want to be. For you to move on and build a good life for yourself, start detaching from her and stay as far away from her as possible. You taking care of her means nothing to her.… | /r/Divorce_Men | 05/05/23 12:30 AM |
| 5 | UK removing divorced wife from deeds.Wow. Brother, you need an attorney. No one else will be able to help you sort out this nightmare. | /r/Divorce_Men | 30/04/23 10:13 PM |
| 21 | Everywhere I lookIn my experience, a large number of women want to get married, but they don't want to be wives. Marriage requires hard work to be successful. Most people (men included) aren't willing to do the work. Also, women tend to have their buddies rooting them on to divorce from the sidelines. From Disney and modern movies, they buy into the happily ever after BS and think that men are supposed to "make them happy". What they fail to realize is no one can make someone else happy; individuals must find ha… | /r/Divorce_Men | 30/04/23 05:00 PM |
| 35 | Everywhere I lookAbout half of all marriages end in divorce. Almost 80% of the time, the wife files for divorce. For wives with at least a bachelor's degree, the number is almost 90%. The family court system overwhelmingly gives primary custody to the mother (over 80% of the time). Also, since men generally earn more than their wives, alimony is typically paid by men (with some exceptions and that reality is getting slightly better for men). To add to that, women can walk away with a large chunk of the marital a… | /r/Divorce_Men | 30/04/23 03:33 PM |
| 12 | To tell or not tell that is the questionWait until your divorce is final. Don't do anything that can cause your STBXW to go nuts and fight you out of anger and spite. You'll see enough of that as it is. | /r/Divorce_Men | 29/04/23 04:09 AM |
| 2 | Rough Day Today GuysUnless you happen to live in a state where adultery matters in a divorce, whether she cheated is unfortunately irrelevant. You will possibly never know the truth. Even years later, my ex still won't admit to cheating. And I'm at the point where it doesn't matter to me. You'll get to that point eventually and will realize you're glad to be away from her. Thoughts are with you brother. Hope you and your kiddo can do something fun to help get your mind off it. Physical activity helps. | /r/Divorce_Men | 27/04/23 07:47 PM |
| 1 | I wish I could understandGreat summary of the reality of marriage these days. Especially the part about the guy dying inside. We've all been there during our marriages and died a little bit at a time during them. This is why I recommend staying single to young guys and older men who have been through a divorce. The juice is not worth the squeeze. | /r/Divorce_Men | 27/04/23 01:16 PM |
| 10 | Looking for adviceFirst thing, sorry you are here. Next, get out of the basement. If she doesn't want to be around you, then let her move her sorry tail to the basement or couch. Now the news I don't like telling you. The things you talk about your wife doing, such as no intimacy, working out, loves you but not in love with you, and trying to look better are MAJOR red flags that she is either currently cheating or is planning to cheat. Most likely already has. From what you have said, she checked out already from… | /r/Divorce_Men | 20/04/23 07:33 PM |
| 0 | Is it better to marry girls who want to be SAHMs or ones who are career-oriented and “independent”?From the last information I saw, the prevalence of cheating between men and women is about even, with women cheating a little bit more than men now. From my experience, women tend to be better at it and don't get caught as often as men. | /r/Divorce_Men | 09/04/23 11:06 PM |
| 5 | Is it better to marry girls who want to be SAHMs or ones who are career-oriented and “independent”?Lawyers get paid to be argumentative and work in a high stress, dog eat dog profession. The also tend to be driven Type A personalities, which is almost required to be successful at the job. It's very difficult for them to leave it at the office, and also makes them prone to drinking frequently. Not a good recipe for a peaceful home life. With the way the world is now, teachers have to deal with a lot of helicopter parents who think little Timmy or Janey can do no wrong and are geniuses comparab… | /r/Divorce_Men | 09/04/23 05:39 PM |
| 9 | Is it better to marry girls who want to be SAHMs or ones who are career-oriented and “independent”?First, I strongly don't recommend marriage or even cohabitation to anyone these days. The court system will chew you up and spit you out a much poorer man. You also have a high chance of having your kids alienated from you afterwards and rarely seeing them. These things i know from personal experience. If you do want to throw the dice and marry or date, from my experience and the experiences of others, stay away from lawyers, teachers and women in the medical fields (especially nurses). I know q… | /r/Divorce_Men | 09/04/23 01:39 PM |
| 1 | Child in college, is it ok for me (40m) to tell him that his mom and I are 99% likely to get a divorce?This is something that you both should do together if at all possible. | /r/Divorce_Men | 01/04/23 12:09 AM |
| 12 | Holy shitI recommend you read it again. The book is not about manipulation. It is about understanding that it is ok to put yourself as a priority in your own life. Others will generally pick up on that and treat you differently. It's not manipulative; it's human behavioral biology. | /r/Divorce_Men | 31/03/23 02:04 AM |
| 5 | CA - DisomasterYour buddies dad must be a very lucky man. I'm not that lucky. In this area, the child support agency has their own assistant District Attorney working with them, and they are housed in the same building. It is a money making proposition for them because of Title 4D money coming in based on how much child support they get someone to pay. And it's almost always paid by the father. If I had not paid, they would have happily thrown me in jail and kept me there until I could beg, borrow, or steal th… | /r/Divorce_Men | 28/03/23 10:53 PM |
| 6 | CA - DisomasterIt sux. No doubt about it. Guys are typically the higher earners and generally get screwed to pay to keep up someone else. It's the f-ing you get for the f-ing you got. The court system is heavily biased. This is why I recommend to young guys to never marry or cohabitate and also recommend to divorced men to not remarry or cohabitate. Like you, I walked into court not owing a penny and walked out owing thousands in arrears after being threatened with jail if I didn't write a check on the spot. I… | /r/Divorce_Men | 28/03/23 05:09 PM |
| 12 | Am I over reacting?OP, read WTD's post twice. I wish he was wrong, but he isn't. Your wife has lost respect for you for some reason (s). It's very difficult to come back from it. The last thing you want to do right now is appear weak to her. She is blatantly showing you she wants attention from other men and doesn't care that you know. Also, her friends are very likely rooting her on to hook up with her ex. You go girl, life is short kind of BS. It's sad that this is what society has devolved to. Grey rock your wi… | /r/Divorce_Men | 25/03/23 08:04 PM |
| 4 | Anyone withdraw their divorce petition after filing?She is trying to play you. Don't fall for it. She likely crunched the financial numbers and realized she would be struggling so is coming up with a plan where she can screw you over better. | /r/Divorce_Men | 24/03/23 06:30 PM |
| 9 | Officially filed, feeling bittersweet and conflictedCheaters generally cheat again. Even if you two "worked it out", you will never forget, and it will tear at your soul for the rest of your life. Why would you want to put yourself through a lifetime of that? Most that try to reconcile fail and regret not moving on from the beginning. Also, she isn't absolutely telling you she made a mistake and saying she wants to work hard and do whatever it takes to be with you. She is telling you she is "not sure". Your marriage is over. You have zero chance … | /r/Divorce_Men | 20/03/23 09:03 PM |
| 5 | can't move onA very good and concise essay on why to not marry. Excellent advice! | /r/Divorce_Men | 05/03/23 03:26 PM |
| 25 | Why do wives try to show minor affection during a divorce (living together)?My ex did the same things during our divorce. She was even under the mistaken assumption we would be "friends" after the divorce. Wasn't going to happen. Don't make the mistake of thinking she wants to reconcile. She has already put you out of her mind. Your wife is like a lot of women in that she wants you to be there for HER when SHE needs you. It's also called she wants you to be her emotional tampon and help HER through the divorce so SHE will be ok afterwards. In her mind, you will still se… | /r/Divorce_Men | 02/03/23 04:49 PM |
| 3 | First Anger in New RelationshipThis is great advice. Do not date people at work. A wise man told me, "Don't crap where you eat." Nothing good can come from it, and some very bad problems can result. You did this via a Zoom meeting for work. That already gave her enough ammunition to seriously screw up your job and possibly your life if she stays ticked off and decides to do something about it. | /r/Divorce_Men | 01/03/23 01:59 AM |
| 24 | I think today was the day.OP. Read this post. Keep your mouth closed while you talk to an attorney and develop your exit plan. From my experience, women look at us as walking ATMs at best and expendable stair steps for her to reach the next level at worst. Get out while you can and don't put your head back into the noose. There are no unicorns out there. Good luck. | /r/Divorce_Men | 26/02/23 08:05 PM |
| 3 | What is divorce? A man's perspective.Stay strong brother. It takes some time, but life will get better. Do something just for yourself today. Something you have always wanted to do but put off until "later". May peace be with you. | /r/Divorce_Men | 25/02/23 06:47 PM |
| 2 | Preparing for separation: The Big TalkYou are wasting your time. Your post shows you are not in a good frame of mind to meet with your STBXW. Too much emotion right now. The best thing you can do is to keep your mouth closed, hire an attorney, and file the divorce paperwork. Your STBXW doesn't give a single flying rat's behind about you or what you think. You are risking tipping your hand to her and giving her potential ammunition to use against you in a court of law. Listen to your attorney and don't talk to your STBXW about anythi… | /r/Divorce_Men | 14/02/23 02:47 AM |
| 6 | Spouse asked for a divorce yesterday, I was told this was a good group by someone. I have some basic questions.These days, they generally have a boy friend that magically becomes a boyfriend before divorce is started. Most women keep a rotation of guys in the friend zone until they need them. i.e. work husband or "just a good friend". Then, they move them up into the batter's box, and the guy gets his turn at bat. | /r/Divorce_Men | 13/02/23 07:40 PM |
| 2 | What happened?It will feel that way for a while. Keep doing what you have to do to make it through the day. Rinse and repeat. Eventually, enough days will go by that you realize you rarely think about her anymore. It takes time but it's a great feeling when you come to that realization. Good luck to you. | /r/Divorce_Men | 13/02/23 02:12 AM |
| 5 | What happened?Then count your blessings and get the divorce done ASAP before she changes her mind. Move on and take care of yourself and your son. Build a good life for you both and enjoy living without having an anchor tied around your neck. | /r/Divorce_Men | 13/02/23 01:50 AM |
| 5 | Anyone here married but living separately successfully?Brother, why would you want to try to work on your marriage? She is more than likely cheating on you. Even if she isn't, she doesn't care about you or respect you. You have been doing the pick me dance. You're not the first to do it. I did it for a while myself. Time to do a 180 and go gray rock on her. Recover yourself. She is gone. | /r/Divorce_Men | 06/02/23 02:37 PM |
| 10 | Punished for Service, Providing, and being MaleSending good thoughts your way. The family court system sux royally if you are a man. Most of us have been where you are. To deal with it, I tried going up into the mountains and yelling, griping to my family and friends, and getting squint eyed drunk. None of it helped. The only thing that helped was to get through it and on to the other side. It still sux, but time gives a man the chance to get his mind right about it and move on. Just got off the phone with a family member working to get his … | /r/Divorce_Men | 02/02/23 09:25 PM |
| 2 | Critical Mass is soon to happen;Not worth it. When you look at the risks versus rewards analysis for marriage, then the risks far outweigh the rewards. I would have loved to have had the internet when I was young. Like to think I would have listened and stayed single. I imagine that life would have been much different and most likely better. | /r/Divorce_Men | 02/02/23 04:43 PM |
| 6 | Wife Says she doesn't know what she wants to do.Glad to hear that. I've known a couple family farms that had to be sold as part of divorces. They had been in the families for many generations. For both cases, it was due to a woman who married into the farm and did very little to help work it or maintain it. However, when it was divorce time, the women claimed they were the backbone of the farm and worked their fingers to the bone. Sad to see. Greed will usually overrule doing what's right. | /r/Divorce_Men | 29/01/23 07:44 PM |
| 12 | Wife Says she doesn't know what she wants to do.It's likely not just emotional. She is likely getting it from another man. I know quite a few nurses, and the stories I've been told about hospital cheating are brutal and commonplace. Don't confront her yet. Look through her phone and social media to see if you find anything suspicious. You can even view deleted files. Google how. Make copies of everything. It might be of no use depending on where you live, but it's better to have it than to not. Some courts and judges just don't care. If she k… | /r/Divorce_Men | 29/01/23 07:32 PM |
| 4 | Wife is retroactively creating a loan from her business that we used cash from the business to pay for remodel to incur debt..... need advise.This is why it very rarely makes sense for a man to not hire an attorney when going through a divorce. If we could trust our STBXWs to be trustworthy and not try to screw us over, we probably wouldn't be getting divorced. Hire an attorney ASAP. Good luck. | /r/Divorce_Men | 26/01/23 08:53 PM |
| 1 | Colorado CFI processDing ding ding! We have a winner. Money is the reason she doesn't want you to have 50/50 time with your kids. Be aware that she has the potential to do a lot of BS in order for her to get more custody, including talking crap about you to your kids and even making false DV accusations. A lot of STBXWs start out wanting to be "fair and amicable". That generally lasts until she talks to her attorney or friends and finds out just how much she might be able to get from you. Make no mistake, you are a… | /r/Divorce_Men | 21/01/23 09:01 PM |
| 6 | I want a long term relationship with a great girl some day, but I don’t want to be married.No one goes into a marriage expecting to divorce. Everyone thinks "it won't happen to us. We have a love for the ages which no one can understand." Then, people change. Some work it out and stay together, but statistically most marriages end in divorce. I would never recommend marriage to anyone these days. Or even cohabitation. | /r/Divorce_Men | 11/01/23 05:36 PM |
| 4 | Wife changing her mindPlease understand that none of that BS matters. Instead of being a responsible wife and human being and communicating with you about her needs, she decided to go get some strange dik from another man. I'm sure they were laughing at you while he was buried to the hilt in her. I would also bet she came home and kissed you after having had the other man's P-nice in her mouth. Get that visual in your head. Hopefully, you will get mad enough to do what you need to do to not end up financially devasta… | /r/Divorce_Men | 09/01/23 04:32 PM |
| 4 | Wife changing her mindGreat post! Hope OP listens and doesn't end up getting divorce graped like a lot of us did. | /r/Divorce_Men | 09/01/23 04:11 PM |
| 11 | Pay the lump sum to dodge lifetime maintenance or fight for a different settlement?OP, please listen. You...need...a...lawyer...right...now. I can't even comprehend how you went through with adopting a child when you knew your marriage was on the rocks. As guy said above, she played you to get more child support from you. Put your helmet on and strap yourself in because you are in for a bumpy ride. | /r/Divorce_Men | 05/01/23 05:22 PM |
| 4 | I'm in the anger stage of grief, and it has opened my eyes to the truth of marriage.Then you had better live in a state which doesn't have common law marriage. You don't actually have to have a wedding in order to be married and get bent over in court. Coming from an older guy, stay single. Don't marry, don't cohabitate. | /r/Divorce_Men | 04/01/23 01:25 AM |
| 3 | 32 year old not-yet-divorced guy, moved out of my own house to get away from my abusive wifeOP, this is very good advice. Please listen to him. You got involved with a woman who will drag you through the gates of hell if you let her. She has mental issues you can't fix. Only she can do the work needed, and odds are she won't. It will take years of dedicated work and therapy for her to learn to deal with those issues. The truth is most people with her problems aren't willing to do it. Notice I said she needs to learn to deal with her issues and not fix them. They don't just get better a… | /r/Divorce_Men | 03/01/23 01:41 AM |
| 1 | Huge fight over filing taxes....I would generally say take what money you can and spend it on something you want. However, if my ex tried to pull this BS on me, I would do the same as you and tell her to go pound sand unless you really need the money. | /r/Divorce_Men | 02/01/23 04:48 PM |
| 5 | dilemma need feedback should I stay or should I goI very much agree. War is hell. It's time for her to find that out. F uck her and the horse she rode out of your life on. She cheated on you, now wants a divorce, and still expects you to bend over backwards to make her more comfortable!? I repeat, F uck her. Do what is in your best interest. | /r/Divorce_Men | 28/12/22 09:54 PM |
| 3 | Losing friends in separation/divorceYour situation is like a ray of light shining in a dark room for them in that it is shining a light on their own marriages, and they aren't comfortable with it. A lot of married guys don't want to think about the fact that their marriages could (and statistically will) end in divorce. The whole head buried in the sand analogy. They would rather maintain a comfortable lie than look at an inconvenient truth. If an individual quits interacting with you, then you are better off to not have them in y… | /r/Divorce_Men | 25/12/22 04:11 AM |
| 5 | Girls Night Out Forever.Lol! You gave that woman very good advice. I've seen similar situations with women. From what I've observed, they tend not to listen. As you said, they think the road goes on forever, and the party never ends. | /r/Divorce_Men | 21/12/22 02:31 PM |
| 11 | Need adviceRun like the devil is behind you. And quit talking to your STBXW or your mother in law! Keep your own counsel while you go hire an attorney and file. Your STBXW cheated on you and is planning on running off with her new guy and you haven't filed yet!? For the love of all that is holy, put her in your rearview mirror and chalk the marriage up to a bad learning experience. Then, go to individual therapy and find out why you were willing to settle for someone who didn't love you and apparently has … | /r/Divorce_Men | 21/12/22 02:44 AM |
| 3 | What’s the right thing to do?As a wise man told me, no good deed goes unpunished. I learned to go strictly no contact with my ex. It was much more peaceful that way. | /r/Divorce_Men | 20/12/22 08:17 PM |
| 37 | I met my wife ten years ago today.Ten years from now you will look back and thank your lucky stars she is no longer in your life. It hurts like heck at first, but the chemicals in your brain will eventually subside. Then you will be able to see what she really was, which is a woman who would abandon her kids and husband to go screw some other man. She is not worth the pain. Most of us have been where you are currently and lived through it. May peace come to you brother. | /r/Divorce_Men | 16/12/22 04:12 AM |
| 1 | Divorce in a small town...Good 'Ol Boy System WoesI've been in a very similar situation with small town politics and good ol boyism. It cost me greatly. I don't have any words of advice for you but wanted to say good luck to you. Once it's over, hope you make a good life for yourself. | /r/Divorce_Men | 03/12/22 05:22 PM |
| 18 | DivorceOP, please listen to what was said above. You are now in a battle for your future. Your wife checked out a long time ago, and you're now playing catch up. Talk to an attorney ASAP and try to get the divorce done before she changes her mind about taking you for all she can get. I hate to say this, but her actions are a huge red flag that she is cheating. Protect yourself. | /r/Divorce_Men | 25/11/22 11:54 PM |
| 11 | long read - There is no coming back nowSometimes we stay too long. Your spouse just knew you would be there for her no matter what and took advantage of your kind nature to live off your work and not contribute to the household budget. You are not the first to work hard and give their all to your family and spouse because that's what you were taught. However, a saying to remember is "don't set yourself on fire to keep someone else warm." She will continue to use you if you let her. Why would she not? You have worked to support her an… | /r/Divorce_Men | 24/11/22 05:32 AM |
| 1 | It's a sad truth.Probably was conscripted. Years ago I worked for a German that fought in WW2 toward the end of the war. He was a teenager when he was told he was going to become a soldier and go off to fight. He said if you argued too much or tried to run away you would be shot. | /r/AntiFeminists | 20/11/22 05:16 PM |
| 2 | Wife filed for divorce after 10 Years while I was on an intl. work trip. I was served by her sister at the airport on the way home and returned to an emptied out condo and no dog. Who does that?Unfortunately, it sounds like she could be cheating on you or is at least interested in someone else. If it's worth it in your area and its divorce laws, it might be worth hiring a PI to look into it. Could be useful in the divorce proceedings. It's difficult to see when you have just been smacked in the face, but the best thing you can do is to accept that your marriage is over and to fight for the best terms possible for yourself. Go on to live a good life. | /r/Divorce_Men | 13/11/22 03:54 PM |
| 11 | Is anyone else thinking about deliberately staying single as a life decision?Clarkr10 is telling the truth. I watched the situation while my father and grandfather were in and out of hospitals and nursing homes in their final years. It firmly convinced me to take the step to never go into a nursing home if I'm at all capable of preventing it. There are much worse fates than death. Just because you have a large family doesn't mean you won't die alone. | /r/Divorce_Men | 12/11/22 10:17 PM |
| 8 | Ex-Wife three years post-divorce is making false abuse claims and manipulating my three boysMy ex and her family did the same thing. Talked crap about me to everyone that would listen. Resulted in my kids moving in with her full time and not wanting much to do with me for years. Starting to change some now that they're grown but our relationships won't ever be good it seems like. Too much damage for too many years. The kids tell me I was a great dad back then. But they still wanted little to do with me. I hope you are able to fight it. Hire an attorney if you can. I couldn't, and it co… | /r/Divorce_Men | 10/11/22 04:25 AM |
| 8 | Question about startups or making much more money after divorceIn most states, child support is based on income and number of nights spent with each parent. It can generally be revisited periodically by either parent. In my state, it can be revisited every 3 years, when a salary change of 15% happens, or when a child turns 18 and graduates from high school. In some states, child support continues until college is done. Also, a lot of divorce decrees specify an exchange of salary information is required periodically. We had to do it annually. This is why I s… | /r/Divorce_Men | 10/11/22 03:42 AM |
| 1 | Why do Women give up on their marriage more than men do?Wow... | /r/Divorce_Men | 03/11/22 11:27 PM |
| 8 | 23 year old male and have been thinking. Does it always start off this beautiful and attached?Don't get married. Ever. The odds are not with you. You know the answer to what you want. You want what you already have. Knowing this at your age is amazing. You and your girl want different things out of life. Never move to support someone else's life. You will be much happier pursuing your own choice in the place you want to be. Eventually, you will resent her for it you move. If she really cares for you, she will understand. If not, she will make your life hell and then leave. A woman should… | /r/Divorce_Men | 02/11/22 01:11 AM |
| 1 | Every Young Man Needs to Know ThisAmen brother | /r/Divorce_Men | 30/10/22 12:11 AM |
| 3 | What to do with the home?Most courts will not allow child support to be waived. And she always has the option to return to court to get you to start paying in the future. Don't put yourself in the position where you have to pay years of back child support in the future after your exW gets mad at you because you have a new girlfriend. You are much better off to completely separate yourself financially from her. | /r/Divorce_Men | 22/10/22 02:33 AM |
| 2 | Ex Wife Wants Another Baby!I wish I could like this response a million times. The OP has lost his ever loving mind. I might get banned from reddit for this, but so be it. Not only does OP want one child to have to deal with divorced parents and all the negative life statistics which typically result from that, but he is seriously considering actively working with his ExW to do it to another kid. And they are thinking of doing it in conjunction with cheating on the ExW's boyfriend. That's some genuine, grade A, narcissisti… | /r/Divorce_Men | 20/10/22 10:06 PM |
| 3 | Separation moving out end of the monthTalk to an attorney and do what they tell you to do exactly as they say to do it. Don't move out as that can be considered as abandoning the family and can screw you royally in court unless your attorney gives you the go ahead. DO NOT be intimate with her! You are now divorcing. This means she doesn't get any more of your energy or validation. You won't be able to move on if you continue to give her intimacy. It will only keep you stuck. It sounds like you are easing her transition to single lad… | /r/Divorce_Men | 09/10/22 10:24 PM |
| 12 | I need helpSorry to see you here. I hate to tell you this, but those are indications she is either already cheating on you or has a cheating partner in mind. It's like a script which they use to demonize the husband to themselves and their friends/family so they don't seem like the bad ones in the divorce. You might want to look for signs of cheating and prepare for divorce. Don't talk to her about it or accuse her of anything. Talk to an attorney and do what they tell you to do. If legal where you live, g… | /r/Divorce_Men | 08/10/22 11:18 PM |
| 5 | What are some green flags for picking a future wife?My advice is to stay single. Live together if you must but don't sign a legal marriage document. Also, check the laws in your state of residence. Some states have common law marriage where you are considered legally married after a period of time. That will give her the legal means to take at least half of everything you worked for and saved. And she will, if you divorce. Over half of all marriages end in divorce and almost 80% of the time the wife is the one who files. It's even worse if the wi… | /r/Divorce_Men | 03/10/22 01:38 AM |
| 12 | Steps to a “successful” divorce.Listen to these guys. Ignore their advice at your peril. A very true cliche is you don't really know the woman you married until you go to divorce her. It might work out like you hope, but don't count on it. Be prepared for the worst. | /r/Divorce_Men | 27/09/22 04:46 PM |
| 22 | Too broke to leaveDo what you have to do to get your freedom. Downsize your life and start over. Like the song says, we live our lives in chains and never even know we have the key. Yes, your standard of living will go down, but children aren't dumb. They will come to realize their parents can't stand each other and will not know what a good relationship looks like. That will mess them up more than not being able to attend private school and live in a big house. Show them how life should be lived. | /r/Divorce_Men | 13/09/22 12:04 AM |
| 6 | 24m worried what my wife23f will do after we splitGet out while you still can and don't have kids with her. Figure out what makes you want to be with someone like her and cauterize that need out of your life. Don't get into another relationship until you do. And above all, you can't fix someone who doesn't want to fix themselves. She isn't your problem anymore. That sounds cruel, I know. But the real cruelty is continuing to subject yourself to her disorder. This advice is given out of hard earned experience. Good luck to you. | /r/Divorce_Men | 12/09/22 09:04 PM |
| 4 | How do I tell my wife I’m leaving?Hop on the bus, Gus You don't need to discuss much. | /r/Divorce_Men | 10/09/22 01:51 AM |
| 2 | Petitioning to lower child supportStop taking the kids every day. I know it sux not to see your kids but the only way she might become amenable to changing the sweetheart deal she has is if it starts to inconvenience her. Otherwise you are stuck. As someone said, judges don't care. And being the nice guy will screw you over almost every time. | /r/Divorce_Men | 02/09/22 10:22 PM |
| 3 | the system creates "deadbeat" dadsThat was painful to read. You wrote from your heart. I don't have words of wisdom to help make it better. I've been in similar straights although I'm now finally free. It's hell and can seem like it will never end. All I can offer is that it WILL END some day. Grit your teeth and do what you have to do to make it through. Peace be with you brother. | /r/Divorce_Men | 24/08/22 11:47 PM |
| 3 | Last Alimony PaymentCongratulations! That has to be a great feeling. Don't give her any reaction. She is expecting it, and not getting it will be the best FU you can give to her. | /r/Divorce_Men | 20/08/22 07:27 PM |
| 2 | Income increase post decreeIt depends on the state and your divorce decree. Some require annual reporting of income to the ex spouse if child support is involved. | /r/Divorce_Men | 11/08/22 12:25 AM |
| 1 | Can you help me get my head out of my Ass?You are going into a battle. Having the mindset of wanting to split up on good terms with someone who just nuked your world and filed a restraining order on you will only get you screwed over in court. You are in the fight of your life and want to play nice so you get along? That's the road to destruction. Develop the mindset of doing what you need to do to fight for your future and the future of your kids. She is your adversary now. | /r/Divorce_Men | 10/08/22 10:30 AM |
| 6 | Help me make it to tomorrow.OP, read the response above and take it to heart. Do not be her Plan B. It will rip you apart and make your life he!!. The sooner you realize that the better off you will be. Move on and make your life the best it can be for you and your kid. She should be less than nothing to you now. Good luck brother. | /r/Divorce_Men | 06/08/22 04:52 PM |
| 5 | Im not playing gamesHate to hear another man going through this. I understand your wanting to serve her yourself but I recommend having a process server do it for you. Emotions will be high, and you could be at risk of false DV allegations if she goes off the deep end. Read about the situations which others in this place have found themselves. It is more common than most people realize. And the police won't care about the truth if she claims you assaulted her. You will be the one going to jail. Keep it as business … | /r/Divorce_Men | 08/07/22 02:52 AM |
| 2 | My ex-wife wants to go back to court 13 years after our divorceSorry you are going through this. They are greedy and never tire of trying to extract more resources out of their exhusbands. My exW took me back to court multiple times in the years between our divorce and the kids all becoming adults. Time to lawyer up and fight. | /r/Divorce_Men | 05/07/22 11:38 PM |
| 13 | Do you believe in a soulmate or that a happy lifelong marriage is possible these days?No. I'm older and have seen very few happy long term marriages in my life. They do exist, but the odds of being in one is about the same as winning the Powerball lottery even if you work hard at it. People change over time. And when women reach the age of menopause, all bets are off. Those hormones are no joke, and they have a huge impact on the women's health and outlook on life. I've watched women who feel anxious and irritable due to raging hormones blame their discomfort on the husbands. The… | /r/Divorce_Men | 30/06/22 01:40 PM |
| 32 | STBXW just dropped the news on meSorry to be the one to tell you this, but it sounds like she is cheating on you. What you described is typical of cheaters. Do what you can to get a clean break from her and go live a good future for yourself. Life is too short to put up with that kind of behavior from someone who is supposed to care for you. Good luck to you brother. | /r/Divorce_Men | 28/06/22 01:09 PM |
| 1 | Contemplating Divorce/Legal SeparationGet out now. Before you have kids. Afterwards, move to a state with a lower cost of living and start over. Or do travel PT for a few years and stack cash while you look for where you eventually want to put down roots. Your wife is literally prostituting herself. Wild. Life is too short to live that way. | /r/Divorce_Men | 26/06/22 11:31 PM |
| 6 | Feeling aimless todayIt takes a while to get your mojo back. Keep yourself busy with hobbies, especially ones that get you outdoors. Sunshine and fresh air will do wonders. Keep doing it and you will wake up one day to find you are doing well and enjoying life. Good luck to you brother. We have all been there. It does get better. | /r/Divorce_Men | 28/05/22 01:52 AM |
| 31 | Best case scenario maybe?Run while you still can. Whatever you do, do not have children with this woman. If you stay with her, you will look back in 10 years with serious regret. | /r/Divorce_Men | 08/05/22 12:05 AM |
| 4 | packingIt hurts brother. It shows you are still alive and in the ring. You have taken some shots but are standing on your own two feet. Keep packing one thing at a time. Keep filling boxes. Just keep making progress. Eventually the task will be done, and you'll be that much closer to being able to live your own life. Make that new life whatever you want it to be. Travel, read great books, start that business you always wanted to do. It doesn't seem like it now, but you will look back one day and wonder… | /r/Divorce_Men | 07/05/22 06:32 PM |
| 3 | I hate her..I don't have any advice for you. Haven't spoken to my XW in years. Just wanted to tell you that you are in my thoughts. May you find peace down the road. Good luck brother. | /r/Divorce_Men | 05/05/22 03:43 AM |
| 6 | Confused and AnxiousYou answered your own question. She doesn't want to be there for you or your parents. Be glad that she showed her true self before you had kids. Splitting up will be much easier, and you won't have to deal with her again. Good luck to you. | /r/Divorce_Men | 04/05/22 11:29 PM |
| 5 | Lessons LearnedSome of the best advice available in a concise form. I only wish I could upvote this a million times and that I had listened to this kind of advice when I was a young man. | /r/Divorce_Men | 21/04/22 10:27 PM |
| 7 | Taking the ring offLuckily for you, your logical side will win the day before too long. Take the time to grieve your marriage but don't dwell. Just keep waking up every day and doing what you need to do to have a good life. Before long, you will go to bed for the night and realize you didn't think about it at all that day. Several of those moments will happen and then you will wake up and realize you haven't thought about it in many days, then it will be weeks in between, and then months. Take this from an older g… | /r/Divorce_Men | 20/04/22 01:23 AM |
| 6 | Taking the ring offIt felt weird for a little while, but that quickly passed. Years later, I barely remember what it was like to be married. The ring sits in a drawer and means nothing to me. Have been thinking about melting it down and making something for the kids from it. | /r/Divorce_Men | 20/04/22 01:09 AM |
| 3 | Will taking on more debt about a year from divorce lower my child support amount?Typically it is the number of nights the kids are with each parent. The number is put into a formula in a spreadsheet along with the other data points. The resulting calculation determines how much someone has to pay. | /r/Divorce_Men | 10/04/22 01:55 AM |
| 4 | Will taking on more debt about a year from divorce lower my child support amount?Not likely. For most states, child support is based on the parent's salaries, children's health insurance costs, and the amount of time spent with each parent. Debt doesn't factor into the equation. Your state might be different so talk to an attorney to be sure. | /r/Divorce_Men | 10/04/22 12:38 AM |
| 2 | Im just ready for the next part alreadyGlad you are working on yourself. I did similar actions as you when I was married. It's why I can understand where you are coming from. Don't beat yourself up about it. Accept that you did the best you could at the time and make your future better. | /r/Divorce_Men | 07/04/22 10:09 PM |
| 4 | Im just ready for the next part alreadySorry you are going through this. Learn a new phrase, "It is what it is". It will help you learn to manage the shiteshow you are in. The following may sound harsh, but it's said with compassion for you. Most of us have been where you are currently. Where you go is you put her in your rearview mirror and build the best life you can for your son and yourself. She is not your wife or your friend anymore. She is also not your problem to handle. She discarded you like yesterday's trash. Don't set you… | /r/Divorce_Men | 07/04/22 01:17 AM |
| 2 | Sock day came unexpectedly. Mixed bag of emotions including relief but anxiety.Congratulations! It sucks to have had to go through it, but it sucks much less to be finished with the process and able to start rebuilding your future. May peace be with you. | /r/Divorce_Men | 04/04/22 01:50 AM |
| 8 | Just sharing: Child Custody - A license to make a father's life a living hell on an unlimited basisKeep fighting the good fight. Your kids need you. My ex took me back into the system about once per year trying to get more money from me. She was successful most of the time. It was sweet when the kids finally started to reach adulthood and my monthly payout started being less. The ex demon from hades still did her best to wring every last cent she could from me. Even after the youngest came of age, the demon tried to guilt trip me into continuing to send her money. I told her the kids could ha… | /r/Divorce_Men | 21/03/22 04:12 AM |
| 1 | Advice for our kids?Don't forget the old guard Tom Leykis. | /r/Divorce_Men | 17/03/22 04:56 AM |
| 2 | Advice to a 28 y.o male? Family and friend pressure to marry is beginningVery true words. OP, stay single. I have seen very few happy marriages in my life. There are some, but even they have had their struggles. When I was young, I used to laugh at the old guys telling us to never marry. Thought they just weren't doing it right. Wish I had listened. | /r/Divorce_Men | 15/03/22 02:51 AM |
| 10 | Why Doesn't She Like Me?Unfortunately, she saw you as a provider and "Nice Guy". Guys see working our tails off to provide for and protect our family and trying our best to be a good husband and father as our natural role in life. And we should. We evolved for the man to leave the cave, hunt something, and bring it back to the family. However, nothing dries up a woman faster than being a good guy (aka Nice Guy). They want the bad boy and the drama which ensues thereof. I'm older and have seen too many times where a hus… | /r/Divorce_Men | 13/03/22 03:39 PM |
| 3 | Making 50/50 Custody WorkI had to find daycare and after school care for the time I had the kids and eventually kids could ride the bus to my mother's house until I could pick them up. At least in my area, there were programs for kids to go to after school and even during summers. Check with your kid's school and places like the local YMCA. Not going to lie, it was tough. | /r/Divorce_Men | 02/03/22 01:27 AM |
| 5 | Out of the frying pan and into the fireMarriage counseling is useless in my experience and the experience of other men I've talked to. Would recommend not wasting your time and money. Individual counseling can be useful to help you get through the process and get you started on building a good rest of your life. Good luck to you. | /r/Divorce_Men | 26/02/22 03:29 PM |
| 3 | Anyone became homeless after their divorce?I would have been if not for my parents. Lived with them until I was able to afford a cheap apartment of my own. Actually did live in my vehicle for a couple of weeks until I swallowed my pride and asked to stay with my parents. Hang in there. It gets better. It took years for me to get there but I'm finally done having to pay to keep up my ex and doing much better. | /r/Divorce_Men | 23/02/22 04:36 PM |
| 1 | She sent me all the cardsWent through photos and kept the things I thought the kids would want. The other photos and letters went into a bonfire while I sipped on a good whiskey. | /r/Divorce_Men | 19/02/22 07:35 PM |
| 2 | Divorce was finalized today. Thanks gents.Congratulations! May peace be with you. | /r/Divorce_Men | 10/02/22 05:42 AM |
| 2 | Feeling guilty, emotional about decisionYou can't fix her. Only she can do that, and it sounds like she has little interest in doing so. Yes, she started therapy and medication, but has it really helped? Is she even taking the medication or taking it the way it is supposed to be taken? From my experience, they will lie about it in an attempt to get you off their back. Decide what you want from life and make it happen. Don't keep yourself tied down with someone whose actions show they don't care enough about themselves to take care of … | /r/Divorce_Men | 07/02/22 01:46 AM |
| 10 | Can't trust people anymore, especially potential partners. It's an ongoing struggleI wish I could upvote this a hundred times. No woman has a man over unless they are already actively cheating or stringing them along for later. It's sad, but I've seen it too many times. | /r/Divorce_Men | 03/02/22 05:32 AM |
| 1 | What to do? Borderline unstable sometimes ex?I've been in a similar situation. Don't think for a moment that you can "fix" her. You can't. The best thing for you and your kids is to get away and for you to get primary custody. However, with the family courts being what they are, good luck with that happening. Document everything. It will help, but keep your expectations low. Just make sure to let your kids know you are there for them. Good luck brother. | /r/Divorce_Men | 02/02/22 07:56 PM |
| 1 | What’s the longest you’ve gone without seeing your kid(s)?Sorry you are going through this brother. For me, it was months at a stretch. I used to have 50/50 and had the kids every other week. As time went on, she and her family started bad mouthing me to them. Nothing egregious, but little digs again and again. After a while, they started wanting to spend less and less time with me. I was always broke from having to pay her a big chunk every month for child support since she quit her job and convinced a doctor to put her on disability. She hasn't held … | /r/Divorce_Men | 02/02/22 07:33 PM |
| 7 | The most outlandish\ridiculous lie or story you encountered in marriage or divorce?That she would never cheat since she saw her parents do it while growing up. What she actually learned from them was how to be good at it while not getting caught for a long time. She later told me that her father told her to never admit to cheating, even if caught red faced and bare a@@ed in the act. Lol! She still denies it to this day even though I had proof of it. That is one of the most cruel things she did. Although I know she did it, there's still a very, very small part of me that occasi… | /r/Divorce_Men | 02/02/22 05:45 AM |
| 4 | Couples therapyIt was a total waste of time and money. Individual therapy would be good for you to help you through the process. From my experience and the experiences of others I have seen, once you get to the point of needing couples therapy it's pretty much over. | /r/Divorce_Men | 02/02/22 05:33 AM |
| 5 | Don’t change who you really are and don’t bend your morels for a womanGood advice. OP, please listen to him. Crawling into a bottle will only keep you stuck longer. Take a step back and think. Think about what YOU want out of life and go for it. I've been in your shoes. Lots of us men have. Sometimes the people we care about the most hurt us worse than anyone else could. However, you don't have to stay wrapped up in the pain. Make a plan for your future, grab your balls, and make that plan a reality. Good luck to you brother. | /r/Divorce_Men | 29/01/22 02:28 AM |
| 1 | Music to cope withAC/DC | /r/Divorce_Men | 28/01/22 11:34 PM |
| 1 | Left wife - how to deal with the guilt?Please understand you can't fix someone else. If they need to be fixed, it's their responsibility to do what is needed for themselves. Speaking from hard earned experience, walk away. It doesn't mean you don't care. It means you are choosing to live your own life. If you don't, you will have a very difficult life. Don't feel guilty. I'm sure you did what you could. Always tell yourself this phrase. You. Can't. Fix. Someone. Else. Good luck to you. | /r/Divorce_Men | 27/01/22 11:22 PM |
| 8 | Positive experienceBrother, your girlfriend has good reason to be uncomfortable. If she has any self esteem, she will not put up with a man staying close friends with his ex-wife. That screams of unresolved feelings on both of your parts. To each his own. Good luck to you. | /r/Divorce_Men | 25/01/22 02:37 AM |
| 11 | Settlement meeting tomorrow, odd behaviorDon't read anything into her actions. She needed something from you and is used to you taking care of her problems. She simply thinks that dynamic will continue whenever she needs something. Good luck tomorrow and don't roll over for her. Make sure you have what you need to have a good life. | /r/Divorce_Men | 24/01/22 04:14 AM |
| 15 | Settlement meeting tomorrow, odd behaviorJust tell her you can't do it tomorrow. If she knifes you in the back during the meeting, tell her to handle her own problems. | /r/Divorce_Men | 24/01/22 03:57 AM |
| 14 | My first big date post-divorce.....with her boyfriend.Why in the world would you even think of doing this meeting? She is your ex. Your kids are grown. If your kids were young I could maybe understand wanting to meet. If they marry, you can meet him at some future family event. She is yanking your chain to see if she can make you dance to her tune and invent some drama. Just ignore them. | /r/Divorce_Men | 23/01/22 07:02 AM |
| 5 | Finance question on mariageYeah. Love cost me 6 figures. Never again. The OP has been forewarned. The woman you marry is not the woman you divorce. If he chooses to marry, may God have mercy on his soul. | /r/Divorce_Men | 22/01/22 04:58 PM |
| 3 | I’m divorced. Officially.Congratulations on your freedom! My divorce was a while back and still have no desire for a relationship. Peace and no drama are two good things to have in a man's life. Good luck to you. | /r/Divorce_Men | 22/01/22 03:20 AM |
| 3 | Big Update-I finally made the moveGlad things are working out for you. Good luck! | /r/Divorce_Men | 05/01/22 01:23 AM |
| 4 | I can’t stand her and she wants to be friends. What boundaries are fair in divorce with kids?This is the way to go. Ended up having to go to written forms of communication with my ex, except for emergencies. She tried to claim everything was an emergency for a while, but she settled down after she realized I meant what I said. I still let all of her calls go to voicemail and only respond if I think it's important. Otherwise, she would continue to try to drag me into her drama. | /r/Divorce_Men | 09/11/21 01:26 PM |
| 4 | STBXW had an "self realization" this weekend....now back to cold....Sorry that you have joined the club of which no one wants to be a member. Sounds like you are getting where you need to be. It's hard. As others have said, your wife is playing on your feelings in an attempt to get what she wants from you. My exW used the same playbook. Look up "gray man". Distance yourself emotionally and physically as much as possible. It helps tremendously. Develop the mindset that your wife is not your friend anymore. She is now someone with whom you are ending a long busine… | /r/Divorce_Men | 08/11/21 06:00 PM |
| 4 | Hey it’s my cake day. I created this account so that I could get help from y’all.Hang in there brother. There will be an end to it. Just keep doing what you have to do. | /r/Divorce_Men | 29/10/21 04:33 AM |
| 4 | Is my family too jaded from my previous marriages to accept my girlfriend right now?Dang brother. Have you seen the divorce odds for 3rd marriages? Hint: it's roughly the same as playing Russian roulette with 4 chambers loaded in a 6 shot revolver. Why marry? If you want to be with someone then be with them. Don't sign a legally binding contact that puts you and your daughter's future in potential jeopardy. And I don't know any man who says their s@x life didn't go off the deep end after a few years of being married. Not one. I'm older and also don't know an older man who is ei… | /r/Divorce_Men | 26/09/21 01:57 AM |
| 5 | Cross-post from /r/MadeMeSmile and why it made me cryHate to hear another man going through this crap. I had a similar situation. I became a cash machine. Now that the kids are grown, they're starting to want to be around me more. I know it sux. Take care of yourself and do the best you can for your kids. Hopefully, your children will come around as well. Good luck to you brother. | /r/Divorce_Men | 19/09/21 11:08 PM |
| 1 | I’m sad but relieved - but conflicted too on my separation.From what you have said, there is a good chance that your STBXW has some sort of personality disorder. People who have those don't have a good prognosis for learning to manage it. Notice that I didn't say get better. I said they possibly can learn to manage it, because they don't get over it. Run like your tail is on fire. Thank your lucky stars that you don't have kids with her. Good luck to you. | /r/Divorce_Men | 18/09/21 11:20 PM |
| 5 | Is marriage worth it?Good God no. Once was enough for me. I've seen too many guys get royally shafted financially while also being placed into Disneyland dad status where they get to see their kids every other weekend. That's if they are lucky. Other guys have been basically cut out of their kids lives completely. The risks far outweigh the rewards. | /r/Divorce_Men | 18/09/21 07:41 PM |
| 2 | What would you tell your younger self?That's rough brother. Keep your head in the game and do what you have to do to get your kids and yourself to a better place. Time is valuable. She isn't worth any more of your life or energy. It gets better as time goes on. One day you will wake up and realize you didn't think of her at all the previous day. Those streaks get longer and longer until you wonder why you even cared about her to begin with. Peace to you and your children. | /r/Divorce_Men | 13/09/21 08:39 PM |
| 5 | What would you tell your younger self?I've seen quite a few men deal with the same experiences. It's like you are feeding an insatiable beast. I wasn't perfect by any means, but I was a good father. She still criticized my contributions even though when a meal was cooked which didn't come from a box, it was almost guaranteed that I was the one who cooked it. If the kids needed help with homework or an extracurricular activity, it was mostly me that provided the help. I'm glad to have those days behind me. Never again. | /r/Divorce_Men | 13/09/21 05:01 PM |
| 7 | What would you tell your younger self?I have met a few I would call unicorns and have seen a few of what appear to be happy marriages. They are exceedingly rare. There are others I thought were unicorns which later proved to not be the case. The problem is that you won't know until it is too late for you. At that point, you become just another statistic in the divorce and child custody wars. Yes, I have kids and love them although we have had a strained relationship due in large part to their mother's BS. Now that they're grown and … | /r/Divorce_Men | 10/09/21 11:21 PM |
| 22 | What would you tell your younger self?Kids are great, but the woman who you have to deal with to get them isn't worth the effort. She expects you to change into the man/provider she wants you to be and work like a mule to build a good life for your family. However, she will eventually resent what you have to do to provide that lifestyle, such as working long hours. She will then complain about you being at work so much and not spending enough time with her. She expects you to make her happy when it is our own responsibility to make … | /r/Divorce_Men | 10/09/21 10:53 PM |
| 4 | Split Custody - still pay child support?They are all adults now and in college. Which brings on a whole other level of expense. Lol! At least they now know the money actually comes from me and not their mother. My ex made me out to be almost a deadbeat when the kids couldn't afford whatever they wanted. This was even though I was the only one with a job and paid a significant amount of child support every month. Glad to have her completely in the rearview mirror now. | /r/Divorce_Men | 10/09/21 04:09 AM |
| 6 | Split Custody - still pay child support?It depends on where you live, but if you make that much more than her, you will likely have to pay her. It's not fair, but it is what it is. The court system doesn't care about fair and have a bias against men in general. Make sure you have her income imputed to be her working full time. That will help you somewhat. Just hope she doesn't do like my ex did and con (or maybe exchange favors to) a doctor into saying she was disabled and unable to work. Between child support, their health insurance,… | /r/Divorce_Men | 10/09/21 12:39 AM |
| 1 | Divorcing BPDGood luck to you brother. Have been there and wanted to tell you it does get better. It's not easy and takes a while though. Just hang in and keep doing what you need to do for yourself and your kids. The thing which helped me the most was going to written communication only after the divorce was done. It seemed to tamp down her BS since it requires more effort on her part. | /r/Divorce_Men | 09/09/21 02:11 PM |
| 6 | Friendly Neighborly Reminder...Wish I could give this a 1000 thumbs up. I have relatives who have been married 4 times. Can't even comprehend the thought process which gets you to that point. Or the lack of thought! Lol! | /r/Divorce_Men | 09/09/21 02:04 PM |
| 4 | Is wife playing a game?Why are you still communicating with your ex? It seems like you still want some type of attachment to her. That only serves to prolong your healing process. She is using you for emotional support and doesn't give one flying rat's backside how it affects you. This is proven by you texting her back immediately while she responds at her leisure. She knows she still has you on the hook. Block her in every way and move on with your life. Put your energy into making the rest of your life the best it c… | /r/Divorce_Men | 06/09/21 06:03 PM |
| 3 | Contested Divorce with two children - TexasShe left a month after you were snipped and blamed it on you looking at porn? Bull crap. Sounds like she has planned this for a while. Too many coincidences as far as her demands and the timeframes. Fight for what you want. Don't give in to her. | /r/Divorce_Men | 04/09/21 12:50 AM |
| 3 | Struggling a little bit, would just like to know I’m doing the right thing!!Hang in their brother. It takes time, although it can seem like you have a long way to go. Take life one step and one day at a time. Don't go for big victories yet. Just do what you have to do to make incremental progress. Pack one box. Get rid of one item you haven't used in years. Give something away to charity. Even a small move forward is still moving forward. Let yourself feel the pain and own that shite. Face it head on, spit in its eye, and tell it to go fuk itself. Never forget you are a… | /r/Divorce_Men | 02/09/21 04:59 AM |
| 2 | In case of a divorce, what happens to assets accumulated before the marriage?Brother, please listen to those who are sharing their experiences with you. Don't get married and don't cohabitate. Getting married was the worst mistake of my life. I'm still dealing with the consequences years later. Stay single and enjoy your life. Read the other posts in this forum and look at some of the others like surviving infidelity. They will give you some insight into what can happen. These days, relationships entail a huge risk, and the odds are not in your favor. An old man told me … | /r/Divorce_Men | 01/09/21 01:34 PM |
| 3 | Trying to decide if I give my wife another shotGet out now. I was in a similar situation and stayed way too long. It doesn't get better. It only gets worse. Your wife sounds like she has a personality disorder, most likely Borderline PD. The only person you can save is yourself. Do some research on your own. Save yourself. Your future self will thank you. Good luck to you. | /r/Divorce_Men | 25/08/21 04:29 PM |
| 3 | Separation starts todaySorry brother. Make sure you put your half in an account she can't touch. And your future paychecks. Take her name off any joint credit cards or lines of equity. This is a good indicator of her already having put some thought into a divorce. She likely already has an attorney. I know it's rough right now, but grit your teeth and start interviewing attorneys ASAP. It is a good idea to be the first to file. Whoever files first is in the driver's seat. That's a big advantage. As others have mention… | /r/Divorce_Men | 23/08/21 12:40 AM |
| 6 | Separation starts todayI'm sorry you are going through this. Know that you are not alone. A lot of us have traveled the path. Lean on your friends and family you can trust. Unfortunately, not everyone will be on your side. I hate to be the one to break it to you, but she in all likelihood is not just having an emotional affair. Almost certainly, it's been physical. That's from my own experience and years of seeing the same behavior from others. Adults have sex. Cheaters will lie even if the truth would serve them bett… | /r/Divorce_Men | 22/08/21 10:20 PM |
| 5 | Marriage Counseling is a ScamMarriage counseling was a total waste of time in my experience. The counselor kept talking about how I needed to be more empathetic regarding my Ex wife's feelings and need for understanding. They completely skipped over the fact that my Ex was screwing around with a guy she worked with. Guess I needed to be more empathetic about being cheated on. Lol! So glad to be out of that nightmare of a marriage. | /r/Divorce_Men | 17/08/21 05:03 PM |
| 6 | Guys, guys! She's ready now!I know of a similar story. She is a nurse that keeps losing her job cause she likes the candy. She went to work in a prison and "reportedly" started lovin' up some prison Chads. Ended up fired from that job, too. The sad thing is she had 3 kids with one guy and divorced the first baby daddy for her current husband. She quickly got herself in the motherly way and had another kid since the current hubby is from a prominent family. His family tried to get him to wake up, but he won't and is still w… | /r/WhereAreAllTheGoodMen | 10/08/21 05:53 AM |
| 3 | Help me grey rock.... [UPDATE!]You're doing better. Proud of you. I know it's not easy. Have to keep the interactions to a minimum and only about business. Never respond promptly unless it's an actual emergency. Make sure to only communicate in writing and save all communication. In the future, you will appreciate having it. An even better option would be to use one of the parenting apps that archives things automatically. You got this. | /r/Divorce_Men | 09/08/21 12:38 AM |
| 1 | How would you have handled this?So what? Let her keep sending them, and you keep ignoring them. Do that long enough and she will settle down at least somewhat. As others have said, you are feeding her the attention she wants. STOP IT NOW!! As someone who has lived it, I understand the desire to engage in the arguments so she "doesn't get anything over on you". The reality is that just makes it worse since you are giving her attention and validation. The best way to deal with a narcissist is to starve them of the narcissist sup… | /r/Divorce_Men | 06/08/21 02:02 AM |
| 4 | (29M, 27F) - My wife has moved in with her family, and demanded I make changes in order to get her back home. Married 4 years. We have no kids, no assets.. she works part time, and I’m full time, making 100k. I feel so lonely, but i’m tired of trying to fight to bring her home. I need guidance..In this situation, run like your tail is on fire. With no kids, you both should be working hard to get a good start in life. If she isn't willing to pull her own weight, then she is waving a huge red flag. Disregard it at your own peril. If she is this manipulative at this point in your marriage, your future life will be Hades after real problems come up that need to be handled. Take some advice from an older man who has been in a similar situation. It will not get any better. | /r/Divorce_Men | 05/08/21 03:35 AM |
| 1 | How to communicate when angry?Turn your handiness into a money making side job. Tell her you will be happy to help out for $XX per hour or by the job. Get the money up front. Otherwise, tell all of them to go pound sand and that you only help people you care about. Edit for typo | /r/Divorce_Men | 04/08/21 05:54 PM |
| 1 | How to communicate when angry?Yep. Though it gets better over time as long as you set boundaries and don't jump whenever they ask for something. Going strictly no contact except via written communication methods was the best decision I made. It cut out a lot of the drama and caused me to be businesslike and to the point when responding since I hate typing. Also, you will have documentation of all interactions for when, not if but when, you get taken back to court after she decides she needs more money. Good luck to you both. | /r/Divorce_Men | 04/08/21 05:48 PM |
| 1 | Cubs star's estranged wife demands $4m compensation after HER affair with pastorMy XW did the same. Hasn't worked in years. Luckily, indentured servitude does have an end. Mine ended last week. Free at last!! Lol! Hang in there brother. We can handle anything that life throws at us. Stay strong and just take it one day at a time until it ends. | /r/Divorce_Men | 21/07/21 03:15 PM |
| 24 | Society is indifferent to a mans suffering. GYOWHave seen that switch flip instantly myself. Like turning off a light bulb. Kinda scary to watch. My exW used to threaten to bite off a certain piece of my anatomy if I ever cheated on her. And she meant it. That didn't keep her from cheating on me though. They wouldn't have any standards if they didn't have double standards. Lol! | /r/MGTOW | 19/07/21 02:21 AM |
| 5 | I am starting to hate women. Please HelpThere is. The reason is that people aren't rational creatures. And this goes double for most women. To a woman, their feelings are their reality. They believe their feelings are reality, even when not backed up by facts. Trying to use logic to understand illogical behavior will lead you down a rabbit hole with no end. I've been there, and it's not a place you want to go. I'm older and have learned to live by the saying of "it is what it is". Accepting that all humans are doing the best they can … | /r/MGTOW2 | 14/07/21 01:39 AM |
| 2 | Have at it boys! Wasn't that good anyway.Now that's funny! | /r/MGTOW | 08/07/21 12:58 AM |
| 7 | Finalized, judge finally signed off on the divorce. This sub has been amazing throughout my journeyCongratulations! | /r/Divorce_Men | 01/07/21 12:58 AM |
| 6 | Shared Photo Account FMLGuys don't want to "date" a woman with kids. They are just looking for an easy hit it and quit it. Sadly, she won't make this realization until she has been ran through by numerous Chads and her looks have started to fade. As someone I work with said, my ex wanted to be able to say "momma still got it". She got it all right. She got two more husbands and divorces since ours. Now, her looks are gone, and the men aren't beating a path to her door anymore. She went from being beautiful and desirabl… | /r/Divorce_Men | 28/06/21 07:31 PM |
| 2 | Shared Photo Account FMLHate to see you here brother. I know it doesn't help, but you are not the only one who is or has gone through this. Most of us here have unfortunately been in your shoes. Please know that it will get better, it just takes a while. Take care of yourself first. Like the whole deal about putting on your emergency mask when on a plane. You have to put yourself first for now so you can be there to take care of your kids. Make sure to get into therapy for your PTSD. My dad was a soldier and never woul… | /r/Divorce_Men | 28/06/21 07:20 PM |
| 3 | Brothers, after many addictions, struggles and basically so much sh*tCongratulations! | /r/MGTOW2 | 23/06/21 08:12 PM |
| 1 | TodayCongratulations to you brother! From experience, the healing process now really begins. Do something nice for yourself today. You earned it. | /r/Divorce_Men | 17/06/21 09:13 PM |
| 4 | Fishing over Memorial Day weekend. Alone. In the Sierras of California.Beautiful country. Any golden trout in that area? Have always wanted to catch one. | /r/MGTOW | 02/06/21 05:34 AM |
| 15 | What I've learned from this sub so farCheaters are not very creative. As you've found, they have a script from which they all read. The script does not vary much from cheater to cheater and from situation to situation. They rarely take responsibility for their own actions. Don't you know that we drove them to cheat on us? It's all our fault that they tripped and fell on another man's P-nice. Lol! | /r/Divorce_Men | 31/05/21 02:47 PM |
| 6 | Advice neededTell him that life is way too short, and he needs to prioritize his own health and wellbeing. He is with someone who is incapable of being a true partner and is only focused on their own needs and desires. I was him for years in my marriage, and it only became worse as time went by. An analogy is a sailor on a ship hearing a woman in the ocean screaming for help and diving in to pull them out of the turbulent waves. He gets them safely on the ship, dried off, into dry clothes, makes them a hot m… | /r/Divorce_Men | 30/05/21 07:37 PM |
| 1 | Women shocked to be losers nowWow. Today I found 2 reddits I previously didn't know existed. I'm glad I'm older. I would not want to see what it will be like 50 years from now. sigh... | /r/MGTOW | 29/05/21 10:52 PM |
| 8 | You might have already seen this, but this is just pathetic.Wow. WTF. That reddit is more proof the world is doomed. | /r/MGTOW | 29/05/21 06:45 PM |
| 4 | I made my last child support payment today.Congrats brother!! Best wishes to you and hope both children come around someday. My countdown is at 9 days now. Can't wait for the DONE feeling to hit. So, what are you planning to do for yourself to celebrate? Investing is a smart move, but you should treat yourself to at least something small that you want to do, also. | /r/MGTOW | 28/05/21 06:34 PM |
| 2 | Did solo marriage counseling help any of you guys? Is it worth it?Words of wisdom. | /r/Divorce_Men | 19/05/21 05:13 PM |
| 3 | Did solo marriage counseling help any of you guys? Is it worth it?In my experience, marriage counseling was useless. Most counselors heavily favor the female point of view. Hate to hear you are at this point in your relationship. Don't do the Pick Me dance. It's not attractive and will just push her away even faster. Your only chance is to get strong and file for divorce. That might wake her up, but not likely. Read the book No More Mr. Nice Guy by Glover. I very much regret even trying to work things out with my ex. Would have been better to spend the time wo… | /r/Divorce_Men | 19/05/21 05:12 PM |
| 12 | Tough luckI concur. | /r/MGTOW | 14/05/21 01:10 AM |
| 6 | Women cannot be trusted... Guy finds out his wife was an escort/porn actress FIVE years into his marriage.Yep | /r/MGTOW | 11/05/21 04:43 PM |
| 1 | Regarding child support/alimonyNo, it doesn't make sense, but it is what it is. The court doesn't give a single hairy rat's posterior whether or not you have enough to live on after they get finished giving it away to your exW and kiddos. And yes, it sux and is not even close to being fair. As someone else said, welcome to the wonderful world of divorce in the good old US of A. This is why I will never marry again. Too much risk for way too little reward. One good thing is that the fractional cost of the insurance you pay for… | /r/Divorce_Men | 05/05/21 01:58 AM |
| 3 | Regarding child support/alimonyYou'll need to talk to an attorney familiar with your state of residence. It will differ from state to state, but the answer will likely be no. 401k contributions don't matter in the calculations in my state (not PA). They look at gross earnings. | /r/Divorce_Men | 05/05/21 12:05 AM |
| 1 | Anybody from Tennessee here? Divorce law question.Like everywhere in the US, the divorce laws suk and favor the female, although alimony isn't as bad as California or New York. Don't get me wrong, you will still get shafted, but not quite as bad as the aforementioned places. She will get the largest share of marital property, and you will probably be on the hook for alimony if she doesn't work or earns significantly less than you. It may or may not be for life. Depends on circumstances and which judge you get. Most are very blue pilled and put … | /r/MGTOW | 30/04/21 12:39 AM |
| 2 | Mom support horror storiesAbout the cost of a decent house in this area. | /r/MGTOW | 29/04/21 06:04 AM |
| 1 | Curious how many times married/divorced and if remarried why?That sounds like a nightmare. Having to constantly work my tail off and jump through hoops (aka shite tests) to keep the relationship with her. You even admitted women are insatiable. No offense, just talking here, but that seems to be the definition of cognitive dissonance. And yes, I was married and tried to do those things you said. It resulted in me being miserable with no free time to have a life and hobbies outside of the marriage. My experience was that I became a shell of the man I was p… | /r/Divorce_Men | 25/04/21 10:58 PM |
| 2 | Divorced Men of Reddit. When did you know they cheated on you?That sux brother. Have been through something similar. Hope your kids come around someday. Now that mine are grown, they are starting to want more to do with me. Unfortunately, we can't recover the time lost with them during childhood. Wish the best for you. May peace be with you. | /r/Divorce_Men | 25/04/21 10:27 PM |
| 2 | Dad diedMy thoughts are with you and your family. Sorry for your loss. | /r/MGTOW | 15/04/21 01:54 PM |
| 9 | Thanks a ton guys yesterday I had a good birthday. Thanks again MGTOW family...Happy birthday! | /r/MGTOW | 08/04/21 04:25 AM |
| 3 | Happy birthday to me 🎂Happy Birthday brother! | /r/MGTOW | 06/04/21 03:36 AM |
| 5 | Clown WorldThe courts have a similar process here in the US. The judge listened to my XW until she was done. Then, the judge asked for my side. I had put together binders of information that were tabbed with headings for each of her BS allegations against me. Had documentation to refute almost all of her accusations. I admit some of what she said was true. I had bad mouthed her some to the kids since she was doing it to me on a much bigger scale. Was frustrated to hear the lies she was telling the kids abo… | /r/MGTOW | 04/03/21 04:45 PM |
| 10 | the most painful thing in a divorceKeep your head on straight and don't ever give up. I've been there. It does get better. Kids eventually grow up and start asking questions. Hang in there. | /r/MGTOW | 27/02/21 11:35 PM |
| 7 | To young men, please read my request & story and learn from my mistake... don’t make loneliness reason to cohabiting with women - Marriage or otherwise..Keep fighting brother. Do not ever quit. Have been down a similar road as you during a divorce. It is hard to understand sometimes for those who have not lived it themselves. Stay strong. Hopefully, your son will understand some day and will seek you out. It is good that you are sharing so as to help other men avoid going through the same situation. May peace be with you. | /r/MGTOW2 | 23/02/21 08:31 PM |
| 1 | Every couple on social media posting how great their life has been today.Wow | /r/MGTOW | 15/02/21 08:39 PM |
| 4 | Seriously guys,I simply think about how my exW alienated my kids from me and is taking me for all of the child support the courts will give her. And she is doing all of this while laying around and not working. After thinking about those things, it's pretty easy to not think about how pretty a whamen looks. Beauty is only skin deep, but evil goes straight to the bone. | /r/MGTOW | 03/02/21 04:50 AM |
| 8 | Why no relationships?It's not just paying for kids. An old friend is paying alimony to one that just doesn't want to work. And the court is on her side. Another was threatened with a breach of contract suit for dumping a fiance after he caught her cheating. She ended up dropping the suit, but it still cost him some money to fight it, and she kept a nice engagement ring. Unless you have had a vasectomy, you don't know if or when you might kick one through the uprights by "accident". Never trust one that tells you she… | /r/MGTOW2 | 15/01/21 03:21 AM |
| 8 | Why no relationships?Good luck to you then. Appears that you are going to need it. This is from an older man who has lived the nightmare of paying to keep up a lazy, entitled witch and had my kids alienated from me. I have also watched as a rather large proportion of my friends, relatives, and acquaintances lived it, too. Some ended up there after divorce, and some after knocking up a baby factory. In a couple of instances, the baby mama later admitted to getting in the family way on purpose. I would have already re… | /r/MGTOW2 | 15/01/21 03:02 AM |
| 8 | My Braveheart mommentCongrats!! Mine will be done around the same time. It's a good feeling isn't it? I tend to smile more lately for some reason. :-) | /r/MGTOW2 | 08/01/21 03:42 AM |
| 53 | I discovered my dad is secretly MGTOW . I'm glad I discovered it young enough to not repeat his mistakes .I'm around your father's age and wholeheartedly concur with the advice he gave you. The juice is not worth the squeeze. If I had known as a young man the way my marriage would end (cheated on) and that I'd not be able to be around my kids very often as they grew up, marriage would never have been an option for me. And one of my primary goals in life was to have a family and be a father. Quite a few women will take half or more of what you worked your tail off to achieve and then alienate the kid… | /r/MGTOW | 02/12/20 06:40 AM |
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