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SecretAltruistic6878 Archive

View 0 posts and 81 comments by SecretAltruistic6878 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
2

Book thoughts with out a thinker is my current book. It’s not about loving yourself just exploring your emotional state at any moment and staying connected without condemnation to what feedback you’re giving and receiving from your body as you experience “anxiety” etc physically not mentally. This book plus way of a superior man were pretty good for me as I’m analytical and needed a slow my roll reminder as these books are almost opposites. Luck my man - you’re worthy you just don’t see it yet
/r/Divorce_Men26/11/23 05:53 PM
3

What about a quit claim plus your divorce papers? Ask your lawyer or lender about it
/r/Divorce_Men26/11/23 03:53 AM
2

So you going to go through w it OP? Did you date at all? I was a prolific “dater” and found some nice women but realized they’re all crazy so as mentioned reverted.
/r/Divorce_Men26/11/23 03:39 AM
2

Me. lol moved her back in today from her house she bought with $ I had saved for years. It’s interesting and not a horrible decision but filing and pulling papers takes a mental toll. Along the way I realized I like color in my home, less crap around, and MCM vibe with hints or darker woods vs her washed out country look. Oddly causing some conflict which I didn’t anticipate as it’s mostly superficial but I don’t want most of her stuff in the shared spaces of our home. The biggest thing is keepi…
/r/Divorce_Men26/11/23 03:35 AM
13

Review your state laws. Mine doesn’t allow recording unless both parties know
/r/Divorce_Men23/11/23 12:15 AM
6

It’s called a quit claim deed. OP should consider a well calibrated home valuation report.
/r/Divorce_Men22/11/23 11:35 PM
5

Not what you were asking for but you may find the book thoughts without a thinker interesting. I hear your pain, and your reasoning, and I think maybe you’re black / white like I am. I’m learning “grey” and acceptance or trying to and maybe you’ll find some advice in this one.
/r/Divorce_Men22/11/23 03:52 PM
1

Saw this one again as someone upvoted my previous comment. I assume though that women feel they’ve given up best years to a guy and men think we’ve got better years to come. I continue to work on myself and try to enjoy myself without letting women get to me with their insecurities. ;) I age well ;)
/r/Divorce_Men21/11/23 04:51 PM
1

Nah. I’m 50 going on 51 and think you’d be ok at either a country bar with line dancing or where I tend to go is punk and metal bars or biker. I personally dislike hook up places and go for the music and the rest just follows. But why are you interested in hooking up? Validation you’re still worth something? Killing time? Just horny? I’m only asking so you can be honest with yourself and then honest with these women…they’re your friends just with a different scope perhaps initially or could be. …
/r/Divorce_Men21/11/23 02:35 AM
2

Why not tinder then? A bar? That’s easier probably then a ton of texting if that’s your goal
/r/Divorce_Men21/11/23 12:03 AM
2

It has a short relationship option I believe. I liked it as it skipped some of the stuff from texting back and forth and with the content responses to questions and the video option I could get out from the crowd. I’m pretty cocky and did ok
/r/Divorce_Men21/11/23 12:02 AM
3

Ask the court clerk for your county. Or go to their website. I bought a packet for $15 I think…maybe 25. Ask the clerk. It’s the kids that complicate stuff
/r/Divorce_Men20/11/23 09:10 PM
3

Others to opine. I have older kids and therefore no child support or concerns. Also a 50/50 state where assets are concerned. Should OP consider filing himself to put a mark in financial sand? I did my filing myself so have no clue about a lawyer fee but isn’t he just waiting for her to spring something soon as she can get a CC?
/r/Divorce_Men20/11/23 09:02 PM
5

I’m prior as well. Choose navy though. We’re taught to succeed and not worry about our emotions or caring about our feelings - hence the dark military jokes. You’re not a failure nor is your wife. She could slow her roll abit and you could try to frame your frustrations in a less structured way to show her how frustrated you are. But it’s not really your fault as you may be so frustrated you don’t want it to come out as it may be visceral and a poring out of crap from many years vs just whatever…
/r/Divorce_Men20/11/23 04:50 PM
3

Try out volunteering at a food bank or clearing a park or hiking trail. Google it
/r/Divorce_Men20/11/23 02:49 AM
1

Sorry to hear this. Maybe you should hang w your buddies versus trying to date.
/r/Divorce_Men20/11/23 02:48 AM
3

Hinge. The video option works well. Use it to show women you’re different than other men. If you’ve not dated in awhile read dating essentials for men or even listen to it.
/r/Divorce_Men20/11/23 02:22 AM
4

When reality kicks in women get abit touchy huh? I age like a fine wine and even finer cigar. I’ve been paring a dark wrapper w an acidic cab or berry rich Malbec of late rather than a Bourbon parring.
/r/Divorce_Men19/11/23 10:42 PM
2

Blazers, sweaters, fun shoes, decent jeans, (nothing torn!)dark solid colors, decent over coat if you’re layering. Go look at Nordstrom for pieces. Don’t be afraid to go to marshals though. Advice above was look at a public figure - try Ralph Lauren or George stephanpolous (spelling?). Toss the older stuff when you’re replacing things is unasked for advice so you don’t fall back into habits (I need to do this) IMO there’s nothing wrong w a hoodie but bad hoodies suck - check out American giant. …
/r/Divorce_Men19/11/23 02:25 PM
1

Men can do the same by trolling Craigslist for women selling unworn wedding downs I’ve heard.
/r/Divorce_Men17/11/23 04:38 AM
0

Neither did I for awareness. Weird they are asking. Luck in the game
/r/Divorce_Men17/11/23 12:23 AM
1

You be you but if you’re sharing your divorce status before date 3-4 you’re potentially over sharing. When you meet a new woman I think it’s fair to assume she’s dating 3 other guys besides you and finding the one she likes most. It’s sadly like window b shopping humans IMO and I hated it but that’s the game unless you’ve a friend you’ve longed for and they’re ok going out with you and you can skip the BS. I truly wish you luck. If you’ve not read dating essentials for men give it a whirl
/r/Divorce_Men16/11/23 10:31 PM
2

If OP is dating 40+ they are prob ok dating and are dating many men as well. Younger - sure. They want a husband. When I was dating I found that I needed to cut myself out of the crowd though. Definitely a more available pool for women. I had great luck with hinge videos as i am cocky AF, ride motorcycles, love live music and it came out in videos…women were looking for fun not marriage.
/r/Divorce_Men16/11/23 07:26 PM
3

Thought of I imagine. I miss / have warm thoughts about many of my x’s even though they’re x’s ;)
/r/Divorce_Men16/11/23 03:11 AM
4

She’s used to you solving her problems. Time for her to feel what her life is without you. She will figure it out - she’s a big girl
/r/Divorce_Men16/11/23 01:05 AM
14

Read the book dating essentials for men and the supplemental book. I liked the app called hinge. And…regarding sex don’t over think it. You are dating for “fun” with people who are essentially your friends or could need. Do what makes sense. Things to ovoid or consider that I learned. 1/ don’t trama dump 2/ don’t trama bond 3/ don’t talk on the phone w your date much - it ruins the mystery 4/ be on time 5/ be interesting and lively and keep it light 6/ there is no replacement for guy buddies in …
/r/Divorce_Men15/11/23 06:43 AM
4

Try the book no more mr nice guy out. Then focus on you and your goals. She’s there or not
/r/Divorce_Men15/11/23 02:29 AM
3

There’s additional medical care you can buy to assist with this. If you marry a +1 earner you might be ok but as this was a self interested point I’d suggest the medical coverage
/r/Divorce_Men14/11/23 10:08 PM
3

People want what they can’t have or what others want. Human nature but doesn’t mean it’s good for you. ;)
/r/Divorce_Men14/11/23 09:56 PM
1

I found the book mindful relationship habits beneficial.
/r/Divorce_Men14/11/23 01:34 AM
2

Um? Why do you care? Just don’t talk to ppl about your plans. The grey rock in all things.
/r/Divorce_Men13/11/23 01:54 AM
1

Nothing good in life comes from airing your grievances to family in my experience. Same as talking about your money…never share either w family
/r/Divorce_Men13/11/23 01:29 AM
1

Get a lawyer and stop talking to your family or any mutual friends. Won’t help your situation.
/r/Divorce_Men13/11/23 01:19 AM
1

Exactly. Be open IMO and none of this men’s rights crap. Rights to what? She doesn’t need to be in the relationship and neither do you. I spent a nice long day with my wife today and when we got home I said I need to recharge and do whatever I want without you…I’m smoking a cigar and drinking on my porch reading this long ass thread with these guys thinking they’re done wrong vs simply being straight up
/r/Divorce_Men13/11/23 01:06 AM
0

nope. I basically kept 50% of my wealth, got her to live on only money she earns, as she’s a 6 figure earner, and got laid.
/r/Divorce_Men12/11/23 08:48 PM
-9

Yup. Misogyny BS. I read dead bedrooms and no more mr nice guy and took some of that and added to my life. The red pill crap is crap. Took my wife out dancing last night, drank some, other men flirted which I took for validation of what I have, and she’s making breakfast this morning and preening for a surprise date today I’ve planned. I was only the qrdo doc away with my 401k to give her more $ when I pulled the divorce proceeding and canceled it. I read and opine on this thread as the counter …
/r/Divorce_Men12/11/23 05:16 PM
1

See if your local bar has a small fee for a lawyers time or book one for a quick chat. Luck
/r/Divorce_Men11/11/23 10:54 PM
2

You’re missing the point these guys are making. You asked for advice. ;) they’re giving it and it’s from the trenches. I filed on my wife. Zero she could do to stop me in my state…zero…. And the more the tried to convince me not to was just validating that she wasn’t listening to me - yet again. Be the indifferent this sucks I’m moving on on the outside while dying on the inside person…grey stone and she may change her mind. Or not. You can not control her and you’re telling us all how smart, ar…
/r/Divorce_Men11/11/23 08:30 PM
1

This. The red pill still is misogynistic often but this one is spot on. Comes up in psych books often
/r/Divorce_Men11/11/23 03:27 PM
2

You have to flip her narrative. Women live their emotions and if you can’t handle / manage her you’ll not be able to be her shield in her view. Sux but how it is - be an asshole and live your life and treat her with some indifference. She’ll sort or not but at least you’ll not be seen as a wimp
/r/Divorce_Men11/11/23 04:52 AM
3

This is a scam post. If not don’t be a jk* and screw up the young ladies life. I don’t care about age differences but loving her cause she’s hot is not a basis for love.
/r/Divorce_Men10/11/23 10:12 PM
1

Also easier said than done but get some guy friends. I seem to collect women friends far easier than guy ones but that’s because I chill in biker bars or punk venues and don’t talk to ppl much. Maybe I should take up pickleball lol
/r/Divorce_Men10/11/23 07:22 PM
1

In my opinion which is simply that tell her you are not happy and why. Give her an ultimatum after a few mentions of a topic…. Hell is she’s spending your $ too meet her goals I’d suggest that be stopped ASAP unless it furthers your mutual goals. I had to put mine on her own checking etc to accomplish this. She wants nice clothes - pay for it! lol I’m an IT guy at a huge tech company and pull $$$ but wear tshirts and conns…I don’t personally need arm candy and stopped paying for it but took me a…
/r/Divorce_Men10/11/23 06:28 PM
-1

Nope. I meant what I meant based on my experience. The red pill guys come off as misogynistic in my experience and tend to congratulate themselves for holding some bar or another between themselves (simping). I could simply infer to them as the incel movement in my experience in talking with as well as reading their documentation. As a person I’ve always done my own thing but in my use case gave to much attention to my wife’s desires and voiced concerns but didn’t terminate those eventually with…
/r/Divorce_Men10/11/23 06:08 PM
8

Since you’re already ready to file then file. Get a kit from your courts and file. Don’t wait for an attorney and get it documented her debt starts on x date. My wife was spending about 9k a month on her BS and crap I didn’t need nor want but she felt she was managing the house. I got tired of asking her and pulled the trigger and suddenly she stopped…cold…we separated our finances immediately and suddenly she stopped spending. Stop letting her lead the convo - you’re literally giving her your l…
/r/Divorce_Men10/11/23 04:13 PM
1

I’ll assume it does not matter regarding the spouses gender. Same game. Be your best you, hit the gym, get friends, be less available as you are prob always there in the house…. Same thing I do with my wife - female - but ppl want what they can’t have…be that
/r/Divorce_Men10/11/23 03:19 PM
6

Well that sucks but try to not care. Her loss is your gain - your life! Why allow her to continue to control you or your actions? Sounds dumb but hit the gym
/r/Divorce_Men10/11/23 03:15 PM
1

This…. even though I think the red pill is BS wimps simping behind a slogan.
/r/Divorce_Men10/11/23 01:57 PM
3

Dating. lol I was dating 5-6 women at once and having a blast then realized it was surface and I wanted to know someone. Realized I did and told my at that time soon to be ex a bunch of stuff and we sorted it abit. she’s still the same person in the end but i know her oddities and I pull her from things by being indifferent to her female emotional swings and I don’t fix her problems like I used to; dead bedroom fix, no more mr nice guy, way of a superior man, dating essentials for men. I try to …
/r/Divorce_Men10/11/23 01:14 PM
1

Bro. I filed. And was dating soon after. I oddly enough pulled my papers but that’s not the point. You can’t make her want you back - be the grey stone and work out, live your life, if it’s meant to be it is else you’ll have your pride. I’m suggesting this as there’s zero my wife could do to convince me….i had to choose
/r/Divorce_Men10/11/23 07:11 AM
3

Then OP why even care? I’m married. I suggest to my wife she work out for health but she doesn’t so I do, sweat, almost a 6 pack, and live my life not by her standards but mine. She can or can’t and I can’t change this for her. At work I champion her accomplishments but don’t care if she goes farther than me. I set my standards and compete w men not women in general. At the bar and on the street I protect her but if she’s insulting me I call it out and suggest she change…I love and respect my wi…
/r/Divorce_Men09/11/23 08:24 PM
3

Can’t beat biology. ;)
/r/Divorce_Men09/11/23 08:17 PM
2

Masculine or realize the same pressures men traditionally do as providers? OP is married and looking for advice. My advice is ask her why? Talk to her about it. Additionally consider reading the book ways of a superior man and the one i think called the dead bed room fix. Basically don’t give a F what this very emotional and irrational person in your life does. You’re married w kids OP if she chooses to divorce you are potentially getting your a** handed to you by a judges order so might as well…
/r/Divorce_Men09/11/23 09:27 AM
2

We do I feel. I should have used the word require. Women don’t require men but I think we “need” emotionally.
/r/Divorce_Men08/11/23 11:43 PM
2

Most things aligned with punk. Metal. Country. But if I had to pick a favorite I’d go with primal concrete sledge, live, 1991 in Moscow by Pantera
/r/Divorce_Men08/11/23 08:26 PM
8

Hey OP. You mentioned the Bible so I’ll offer un asked for advice. Don’t rationalize your place in the world based upon that book. Women don’t need men like they did 2000 years ago - they’re more educated, more empowered, more aware of themselves now than then. If you get comfort from faith I love that for you but that’s not a good yard post IMO. Ways of a superior man , no more mr nice guy are better suited. There’s also a book about not giving a F that’s great. I know you’re pissed off and pro…
/r/Divorce_Men08/11/23 02:50 AM
15

I am sitting on my porch, smoking an Oliva O, with a bottle of Burbon, listening to an audio book and loving my evening. I did everything right which was why I was wrong. Couple of books saved me from depression. Hope you find your same thing
/r/Divorce_Men08/11/23 01:29 AM
2

I started a new business plan - beer and wine taproom. Due to Fed decisions perhaps it’s not the right time but I’m laying down the mental ground work which is interesting. Maybe something like this would give you some reason barring paying off a mortgage
/r/Divorce_Men07/11/23 11:36 PM
2

This. I pulled my divorce papers about 2 months ago. I still work out daily, I still go out once twice a week without her, have separate finances. I love my wife and want our mutual happiness but i would wonder how you (OP) can settle being her plan B? If you’re cool w a love triangle then start reading poly books if not you’re going to lose her respect unless you start planning your life without her.
/r/Divorce_Men07/11/23 05:55 PM
1

Hinge
/r/Divorce_Men01/11/23 08:29 AM
1

Not accurate. It could be how OP is engaging w them. I’m 50 and was dating a 28 year old and simply told her let’s hang out and be friends first. If you ever want to come over when I offer then do so else I’ll meet you at a concert or for dinner and target trading costs etc. when we decided to move onto other things it was amicable. I never talked to her on the phone though seeking out her “feels” as I think that’s dishonest and kept it simple.
/r/Divorce_Men31/10/23 11:11 PM
2

Yea. I’ve read both 3 times plus a book called the way of a superior man. I think the dating essentials one is great.
/r/Divorce_Men31/10/23 04:48 PM
4

I’m odd for this group and filed, dated, pulled my divorce papers. But I really had fun dating on my break. I used hinge app, set my window between age 25-55 and simply was honest. Dating essentials for men book was a really beneficial book on how to date and navigate dating. Might give that book a read and simply “date” ppl vs getting to close initially
/r/Divorce_Men31/10/23 01:06 AM
1

My parents for their own reasons were not happy and waited until I was 14. That was a really bad experience for me and to this day I think they manage “adulting” poorly. I feel sooner is better for that reason. But OP this is asked for advice have you read the dead bedroom fix? It’s one of my newer reads but it has good advice you might find interesting
/r/Divorce_Men26/10/23 02:04 PM
2

In another post someone suggested the dead bedroom fix. Won’t solve this part of your life more than likely but may help w next. Basically it’s just work out, be indifferent from seeking approval from a woman, live your life, get laid, improve your image / clothes. If you’re doing this it will at least bug your ex as you’re moving on and you’ll not have to say anything to her. I liked no more mr nice guy as well as the way of a superior man. Luck my bro
/r/Divorce_Men24/10/23 02:45 PM
4

LOL. And those guys are crushing it in the bedroom. ;) OP should do the couple counseling, do individual counseling, hit the gym and as needed improve his physical appearance vs this red pill stuf. sorry to guy who recommended but it’s BS. Being a masculine man doesn’t need you to hate women but maybe you’re shooting for an idea of not putting the p@@@y on a pedestal. OP the goal should be getting other women to notice you minus having an affair. Luck
/r/Divorce_Men23/10/23 11:30 AM
0

Agreed. The incel movement I think likes this guy.
/r/Divorce_Men23/10/23 10:33 AM
5

And don’t ever think / say happy wife happy life. That’s BS and you can’t stand up to her
/r/Divorce_Men23/10/23 02:05 AM
2

Try the dead bedroom fix, no more mr nice guy, as well as the counselor. She quits on the Councelor before you you’re moving towards divorce probably. Sorry about that
/r/Divorce_Men23/10/23 02:04 AM
1

When I read about this I thought that ppl love that lawyers on bottom of ocean story but some how don’t connect judges are often prior lawyers.
/r/Divorce_Men21/10/23 02:41 PM
1

Women IMO may define themselves by their relationships more than men. I have not ever seen a guy inked with “I’m enough” in a tattoo. ;) I know I am and the women recognize or not when I’m dating. I filed and jumped into dating at week 6 before the inked dried and was juggling 6 women at once. Super fun but I wished I had shot for more lonely time vs getting a ton of women under me.
/r/Divorce_Men19/10/23 08:38 PM
2

You didn’t ask. But read dating essentials for men. Promise you it works
/r/Divorce_Men18/10/23 12:41 AM
1

I didn’t finalize but accepted reconciliation. I think in your case it depends who filed and why as that matters…sure talk gets rough and ppl say things but if you left her she’ll feel deserted and want you back. If tough work on herself didn’t happen and she’s not willing to meet what you asked partially I would suggest moving on.
/r/Divorce_Men17/10/23 09:24 PM
1

Ask your vendor (401k) for their example documents and send it all in with your finalized divorce papers. I only wrote one but it was approved by vanguard lawyers
/r/Divorce_Men17/10/23 01:36 AM
1

What’s crazy is you can do the qrdo yourself at least w Vanguard. They give you examples to follow and you sign and mail it in. 2 months later they give you the go ahead and you can send the reviewed version of your modifications to the judge to approve. Sorry your ex is messing w you
/r/Divorce_Men17/10/23 01:35 AM
1

I really enjoyed my alone time to be honest. Just no humans around me but with my dog. That part I miss. lol I have to fight for alone time again and explain to my wife why it’s not about her or us but simply me. I still go out often by myself but developed guy buddies along the way which was great. I did make the mistake of dating and aggressively I could tell a number I was juggling with some pride on my end but they were really just a distraction to simply embracing being alone and enjoying t…
/r/Divorce_Men16/10/23 03:14 PM
3

Yup I feel ya. I had a long road getting to where I could not necessarily forgive my wife but understand her and grow. I think you’ll be an amazing you though and offer great things to many people in your life simply because you’re asking the right questions. If you’ve not read the books no more me nice guy and the ways of a superior man you may enjoy them. I think the second one will give you a piece of your final answer but I like the first one a lot
/r/Divorce_Men16/10/23 03:01 PM
4

My marriage was to end as I had filed but my wife and I started talking, finally talking, and we decided to give it another go. As a result of that we’ve both realized we don’t own each other and we’re just committed to an idea of being together. I mention as I’ve thought similar things regarding my interpretation of your thoughts. I have realized I don’t own her, I don’t own her happiness, I don’t own my marriage and that I can simply offer time, consideration, and energy to her. If she chooses…
/r/Divorce_Men16/10/23 02:19 PM
3

I traded a ton of stock to buy out my wife. If she sold that’s on her for taxes as I wasn’t accountable for those decisions post filing. Or I guess you both could just sell the house and it is what it is vs hypotheticals. But I’d not pay for her future choices personally…that’s like asking you to cover her potential future plumbing issues as the sole owner if that’s how this shakes out
/r/Divorce_Men15/10/23 05:46 PM
2

He asked for opinions I gave one. No reason to be a Jackball bud. Take a breath
/r/Divorce_Men14/10/23 01:24 PM
3

You file or her? Her I’d move on. You I’d make a choice for me. It’s like friends when Ross was on a break if you want her ya do but only if you filed and feel she got the hint. I mean she was prob w someone before you…kinda but not same but kinda…she filed though??? I’d move on
/r/Divorce_Men14/10/23 04:29 AM
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