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Senior-Promise-6624 Archive

View 6 posts and 41 comments by Senior-Promise-6624 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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1

Really we'd just be splitting debt with her taking on the car note. It's not a 50/50 split, but he seems to think due to actions that have occurred its justifiable. Basically, keep what you got if you can handle the payments. The custody he said just seemed to be in the best interest of the children. And given all the details, he's definitely not wrong but that's the part that seems a stretch to me. I will use it as leverage in hopes of avoiding court though.
/r/Divorce_Men26/06/23 11:15 PM
1

Yeah she doesn't know what I have and can expose. The goal is to do everything amicably out of court. But atleast I know I have something to fight with. I thought marital misconduct played a role in property division?
/r/Divorce_Men26/06/23 06:15 PM
1

Texas
/r/Divorce_Men26/06/23 05:33 PM
1

Absolutely, dropped you a DM, feel free to reach out any time.
/r/Divorce_Men08/06/23 09:37 PM
1

Yes, just read his response and 100%. And I'll tell you from my perspective, having had that conversation and being in the "backed off" stage of it. It gets better. I want my wife and family and all the things we've built and dreamed of. But I'm so fucking proud of the work I've done on myself just in the short time I've been in this position. And I'll tell you it does give the confidence that even if it doesn't workout, you are a better man. We'll win regardless, just different trophies at the …
/r/Divorce_Men08/06/23 09:17 PM
1

But you're problems feel standard. Nothing can maintain peak happiness at all times. There's highs and lows. Some people just seem to confuse the lows with the end. Like I said, just be very intentional in what you want and hope she'll reciprocate.
/r/Divorce_Men08/06/23 09:02 PM
1

Ha, same for me. And the sex has been better than ever even. I'd say have that conversation, just lay it all out there and be vulnerable about how you view the past and how you hope to spend the future. Dependent on her response there's only so much you can do. In my spot, we're separated going on 3 weeks. I get messages from her friends and family every day asking me not to give up cause we have a family worth fighting for. I agree, but ultimately she has to see it. So now I wait, and hope she …
/r/Divorce_Men08/06/23 09:00 PM
1

For me, I'm 5 weeks into it. First 3 weeks, I fought like hell. But she wants space for clarity and to feel human or happy again, every time I fought it pushed her away. Moreso for the fact she couldn't focus on herself cause she was concerned about me. For the past 2 weeks, I've come to accept it. My wife is like a zombie right now, suffering from depression and just wading through life til something snaps her back into reality. So I'm giving space, conversation is about the kids only, and I'm …
/r/Divorce_Men08/06/23 08:39 PM
1

Can you sit her down and be realistic, and have open conversation about the past few years, and what you expect in the upcoming years? It sounds like a family that was building together and overcoming struggles. Having money doesn't mean happiness but it can certainly grant opportunity and make for better days ahead once she finishes school and is employed (affording babysitters or planning nice trips with kids involved). I'd say it's important to have a very intentional conversation about where…
/r/Divorce_Men08/06/23 06:41 PM
0

Yeah, kinda where I'm at tbh. I see a path to reconciliation, but I'm no contact and it's up to her to make the effort. And if it ends in divorce I'm looking to do it amicably and not take it to court. I feel obligated to provide some support, which I'm fine with. But I feel like if she wants separation she should truly see what that looks like. Cause for her and her situation, it's a shit show without me supporting everything she does.
/r/Divorce_Men08/06/23 02:11 AM
1

Yeah, any text, or admittance of physical affair. For legal issues I won't go this route. This post stemmed from my mind running a million miles an hour that morning. I'll stay the course, greyrock, and focus on myself until I reach the end.
/r/Divorce_Men02/06/23 04:09 PM
1

Oh no, I've fought to make it work. She's leaving due to unhappiness. Nothing unreconcilable, but she says she just doesn't have it in her to fight for something she's been unhappy in. I'm trying to keep it cordial and be prepared if shit hits the fan. She's primarily been a SAHM most of the marriage, and while I admire everything she's done and helped me build, I'm not numb to the fact that if I burn it all down, I'm just burning all my shit down. Lol
/r/Divorce_Men01/06/23 06:11 PM
0

My goal is to split amicably. 50/50 on everything. I keep house, she keeps car (would equate to half of our marital equity). Custody be 50/50. And currently I think we can. But I'm scared she's going to drag this out in fears she made a mistake and turn it into a bloodbath by the time it's all said and done. And a lawyer battle eats up any equity we can both walk away with and we both lose everything. I'm mainly just curious if these are good enough negotiation tactics to push her to play ball, …
/r/Divorce_Men01/06/23 04:45 PM
1

It's Texas, so at-fault state to my knowledge.
/r/Divorce_Men01/06/23 04:27 PM
-1

No, haven't even filed just trying to sure up my case for when I do. She had an emotional affair (Have proof), presumed sexual affair but no proof. She's been previously diagnosed with depression. I think she suffers from it currently but is undiagnosed and off meds. She will be resorting to living at her mother's (Also depressed, unemployed, medicated AF, and lives off her father). I have several previous texts of her (my wife) threatening suicide. Even with child support, she'd be right at pov…
/r/Divorce_Men01/06/23 03:20 PM
1

Yes I'm covered on my end as far as any past interactions, and will definitely maintain that for future interactions.
/r/Divorce_Men01/06/23 01:07 PM
0

Okay, didn't really consider the legal aspect. Wasn't sure how much this would differ legally than hiring a PI so that's good to know.
/r/Divorce_Men01/06/23 01:00 PM
0

Not even as far as the text message aspect?
/r/Divorce_Men01/06/23 12:54 PM
2

See, she says she's not ready to file for a divorce yet. She wants time. Ultimately, even if she decides she wants to come back I know I'll be so jaded by the situation that I couldn't. I just don't want her to run wild and financially ruin me during the separation. But at the same time, I feel the obligation to keep it on good terms so I can keep the house. I can't afford it if we get in a legal battle, but splitting amicably I can. For reference, this house is in a great neighborhood, next doo…
/r/Divorce_Men31/05/23 02:53 PM
7

Just curious as I'll be in this situation soon. How terrible is small talk with somebody new? I don't even dread the thought of getting back out there, I dread the thought of the stupid little conversations. The meaningless all day texts. Idk if that's lazy or what, but the idea of having to get to know somebody again sounds exhausting.
/r/Divorce_Men30/05/23 10:35 PM
1

Okay, I just wanted to make sure I'm on the right track. Scared to jump to conclusions, but I've tried to tell her we have so little equity that a divorce brawl just leaves everybody walking away empty handed and jaded. And I think she understands. And tbh, her situation is so much more fucked that, for her sake, I'd pray she didn't put herself in even worse shape.
/r/Divorce_Men30/05/23 09:26 PM
1

She is employed, granted she makes less than $1k/month. I'm assuming this is more a conversation for a lawyer but I'm just trying to reduce any visits/fees where possible. And try not to turn this into a $20k each divorce. Is me keeping the house, and her keeping the car, while me paying it all a smart option? The way I see it, the $27K owed + half my 401K is almost half the equity. So essentially she gets a free car and some cash to boot. Or am I think illogically?
/r/Divorce_Men30/05/23 09:19 PM
1

Oh coming up on 5yrs, in TX, so no alimony or spousal support to my knowledge
/r/Divorce_Men30/05/23 05:33 PM
2

I'm halfway through "No More Mr Nice Guy" currently going through my separation. Absolutely recommend. Idk what, why, or how, but it gives me the sense that better things are ahead and instills the confidence to go fucking get them.
/r/Divorce_Men30/05/23 03:52 PM
1

Well as of 30 minutes ago, all signs are heading for divorce and me drafting paperwork tomorrow. Outside of home, car, 401K, what other things should I make note of? I mean we were literally just starting to build this life. We have stuff but not much equity. Even my 401K is only 5 years worth so doesn't feel like a devastating blow.
/r/Divorce_Men26/05/23 06:04 AM
1

We have not discussed, we're not that far along tbh but I'm pre-planning. Trying to not be blindsided more than anything. I would assume 50/50 split, and I think we'd both be in agreement there. I make 80% of our income. I assume I would be liable for the CS. Not married 10yrs so I think I'm off the hook for alimony.
/r/Divorce_Men25/05/23 07:08 PM
1

So far we're on that track of being humane. Does the divorce petition include the paperwork of how you may want to divide property? Or is it completely separate. Just curious as I have no clue. I just feel like my current approach to division is very rational, I think she'd see it that way as well but who knows.
/r/Divorce_Men25/05/23 05:29 PM
1

Considering I bought less than a year ago, I'd say the same I bought it at. $220k, owe $170k on it. So in splitting that, she'd be owed $25k. We owe $27k on her brand new car. I'd just as soon call it a wash and avoid the legal BS.
/r/Divorce_Men25/05/23 03:46 PM
1

Yeah, I'd say we have a combined 60K in equity. Less if you factor in the appraised value, probably $20k in that case. Would just seem ridiculous to squander any gains on lawyer fees. You take the car, I take the house, we call it even. Even what she'd monetarily gain before lawyer fees wouldn't buy her an equivalent car so seems more than fair IMO.
/r/Divorce_Men25/05/23 02:15 PM
1

I want to play devils advocate, but I feel like I have to just stay strong and keep my dignity. And if I'm the choice I'll have to follow my heart then if it has anything left. I give too much to be an option.
/r/Divorce_Men24/05/23 05:21 PM
1

Exactly. Never. If I ever needed anything it was just time with my friends because I'd neglect them as we got older. She was always my confidant and my safe place. Just un-fucking-real.
/r/Divorce_Men24/05/23 05:13 PM
1

So fucking bad. I just struggle most with feeling powerless. Like it wasn't even something I did wrong or missed the mark on. It's just something she purely allowed to happen by not turning to the person she spent 8 years turning to.
/r/Divorce_Men24/05/23 05:11 PM
1

That's exactly how it feels. It will just never not blow my mind that this was an option for her. I'll try to power my way through the weekend with my kids then get my affairs in order.
/r/Divorce_Men24/05/23 05:09 PM
2

I feel you man, it's just hard when they won't open up about it. I'll never pretend to be perfect. I have my shortcomings, and even though I don't know what I could've done, I'm sure there was something. And she'll admit that herself, she doesn't know what I could've done different. It's like there weren't expectations, just a drift away from reality. I don't even know how to explain it, it just baffles me.
/r/Divorce_Men24/05/23 04:16 PM
3

Yeah you hit the nail right on the head. I'm going to look into that book instantly. Maybe it'll help me find added peace and comfort. Or maybe help me drive through that wall to show myself what I'm worthy of. Thanks man.
/r/Divorce_Men24/05/23 03:21 PM
6

Ahhhh. Fuck I needed that. And it's what makes it so damn hard, or infuriating even. I take care of myself, I go to the gym. I'm in decent shape. I'm well dressed. I make good money. I'm likely the future CEO of my company. I'm a good husband and a damn good father. And I gave everything. I'm there, and I check in on others wellbeing. And I never want it to be about the things I can provide to a woman, but she could've did anything she wanted to work on her happiness with me being there for her.…
/r/Divorce_Men24/05/23 02:57 PM
2

It's just hard knowing how emotionally unstable I am right now. I could certainly do this on a day where I feel strong, where I feel like I've accepted fate and can see ahead. But its the days I'm not where the consequences of this scare me. Because I do want her. I want my family. And I truly believe I want it for the right reasons and not just because I'm use to the normalcy and comfort of it.
/r/Divorce_Men24/05/23 02:27 PM
2

I think it's cheating too. But wildly enough, if she told me all that was over, and did so in a way that felt authentic, I don't think I'd lose an ounce of trust in her. She was just never that person. I just feel like surely she'll have to realize how irrational this all is. And then I end up scared that once/if we recover I'll resent her for this.
/r/Divorce_Men24/05/23 02:24 PM
1

How long did it take to feel normal? I'm very conflicted in my emotions. I'll cry one day, and then be emotionally detached the next. Deep down I know I want the life we built. Not because of time invested, just because it's what I want. It's like I come to terms with it then break down all over again.
/r/Divorce_Men24/05/23 02:20 PM
1

I fully agree. And I think I'll just have to. In my head I just assume if she can't talk to me why would she talk to a therapist. But I guess I need to realize after everything I'm not the confidant I use to be.
/r/Divorce_Men24/05/23 01:46 PM
1

I've thought about couples therapy. I just don't think she'd do it. She's so tired of the emotional turmoil she's been in I think it'd push her further away. She says she just wants to feel human then talk about her emotions. I just don't know how to get her to see that this wasn't a bad love, it was a bad season of life.
/r/Divorce_Men24/05/23 01:22 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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