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SereneDesiree Archive

View 0 posts and 68 comments by SereneDesiree on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
9

Life is not the internet. Some men care and some men really, genuinely don't. Just find one who doesn't.
/r/RedPillWomen13/11/25 05:17 AM
5

Dump both of these guys. A guy who wants marriage will talk to you about it upfront. If he can't have an open and honest conversation he's not ready for marriage. Don't let him shame you for being clear about what you want. 31 year old doesn't sound like a prize either. His words and actions aren't matching up. Keep searching. You're on the right track
/r/RedPillWomen12/11/25 02:05 AM
1

Can you make space for him to talk about his depression? Try to be a comforting presence that he can open up to. This means asking him about how he's feeling without expecting him to change. Just letting him unload. He does seem to have told you that the move isn't good for him, though. Is it possible to go back? Have you considered hosting dinners etc. And having couples over so he can make friends? If the therapist doesn't work, he may need a new one. So often, a therapist isn't a good fit, bu…
/r/RedPillWomen18/08/25 07:36 PM
4

Have you had an in depth discussion about finances with him? Are you aware of his budget, financial goals etc? What are your plans around having kids? I think you'd be wise to start developing good financial habits of your own. I'd recommend doing Financial Peace University with your fiance. I'd also recommended sitting with him and exploring and your emotions around finances. Are you able to make space for him to open up about how he feels? I would guess that he has some anxiety around money, a…
/r/RedPillWomen18/08/25 07:27 PM
18

Sounds like he's going through an emotional challenge. Not taking care of himself, not motivated, irritable etc. Is there a chance he's depressed? How good is he at identifying feelings, and are you creating a safe enough space for him to open up?
/r/RedPillWomen12/08/25 01:17 PM
3

If the only thing stopping you is what someone might think, I'd say give it a try. Lots of tech guys are looking for gfs and be flattered that you're looking for an ambitious Asian nerd like them :-)
/r/RedPillWomen08/07/25 08:40 AM
2

Honestly it sounds like you should go to Silicon Valley and get on a dating app. The male to female ratio is really high and lots of men tick that box. Meetup.com is really useful for finding groups, too.
/r/RedPillWomen08/07/25 04:18 AM
2

Leadership comes in many forms but overall, I've found that if you treat men like competent leaders they rise to the occasion. This can look taking initiative or being head of the household. To me, the reason to make them leaders is because they can blossom into better people if we put our trust into them in the right ways. Sometimes we need to help them into that role, as many men been raised with different messaging. Sometimes they may not take initiative with dates at first. A lot of young me…
/r/RedPillWomen06/07/25 08:56 PM
10

In an ideal relationship, your fiance would have clearly communicated before this happened. We can sblame it all on him, but it's probably worth examining whether you're creating a safe enough environment for him to communicate with you
/r/RedPillWomen06/07/25 08:13 PM
14

I wouldn't focus so much on the term 'red pill'. It means different things to different people. What important for you is that you learn to spot red flags in relationships early, have good boundaries, think hard about your values, and try your best to live in alignment with them. This sub has some crazies, but the good posts are centered on: Vetting (choosing a man who will treat you well, has aligned values, listens and cares deeply about you, wants to lead). How to act in relationship once you…
/r/RedPillWomen23/06/25 03:47 AM
1

Try a group that costs money to attend and is useful in some way. Like a yoga, cooking, or dance class. It means he can budget his money and is willing to invest in his wellbeing. Also try meetup.com and look for a group you'd like. Rinse, repeat.
/r/RedPillWomen21/06/25 09:27 AM
1

Forget about dates. You are signing up to be with a guy who doesn't like to make decisions.Can you work with this attribute?
/r/RedPillWomen21/06/25 08:45 AM
2

It depends how good he is at communicating, and how mature he is. You're laying it out on the table. You had sex in the past, but it's against your beliefs now. You feel guilty because you're really into him but religion is important to you. I don't think it's a good idea to change the basic facts of this conversation in order to determine an outcome. That's manipulation, in my book. I would lay it all out honestly and let him decide, and keep doing it throughout your entire relationship.
/r/RedPillWomen14/05/25 11:44 PM
19

He crossed an explicit boundary, and I would let him know how you're feeling. I don't mean 'you did me wrong', I mean 'When I saw this, I felt jealous and upset.' Focus on emotions, not blame. It's very easy to like things without thinking about it. Social media is designed to hack the brain. Go into it with a level head and try to hold a gentle space for him.
/r/RedPillWomen14/05/25 10:49 AM
13

I would honestly just tell him everything you just wrote.
/r/RedPillWomen14/05/25 10:46 AM
1

Can you give an example of something that happened and how you responded?
/r/RedPillWomen07/05/25 11:37 AM
2

I'm sorry to hear that your ex couldn't be open and upfront about what he wanted. I wonder if there were any other red flags around poor communication and/or lying that you may have missed. When I was dating, I was very strict on honesty. Any sort of dishonesty and a person was automatically disqualified. I refuse to sign up for a relationship in which I'm sorting fact from fiction all the time.
/r/RedPillWomen06/05/25 12:03 PM
1

It absolutely is possible to not move in with him. It might be hard but it's not impossible. Also, it sounds like your excuse to stay with him is that it'll be hard to find somewhere to stay? That's not a good reason to stay with someone. You don't teach a man how to respect you. He respects you or he doesn't. Go ahead and try something for me: Make a joke about trading him in for his more successful best friend and/or brother. If it's funny to make jokes about your sister, this should be funny …
/r/RedPillWomen01/05/25 07:52 AM
3

Ha! I didn't expect this but it's very true.
/r/RedPillWomen26/04/25 09:06 PM
34

That's a pretty disrespectful set of things to say to someone. I'm not surprised you haven't forgiven him immediately. Honestly, at 29 I have to question the intention behind these 'jokes'. If it were an edgy, slightly immature 21 year old, I'd be more inclined to cut him some slack. I'm confused as to how a 29 year old could believe that talking about leaving you for your sister could be a funny joke to you. Some men, when they feel as if their woman is too good for them, will say and do things…
/r/RedPillWomen26/04/25 09:04 PM
7

Go to more places that stable men go. Meetup.com is your friend. Language cafes sound good. Expand your horizons as much as you're comfortable: Philosophy clubs, rock climbing, entrepreneurship meet ups, whatever. I notice that classes which cost $50 per week attract more stable people. If a person has the ability to consistently pay $50 per week into a sport or useful activity, it means they're not a complete train wreck. They can organize their money enough to budget effectively, and can prior…
/r/RedPillWomen14/04/25 12:38 PM
12

He absolutely is an alcoholic, and you should be prepared for this to get worse, especially if he isn't willing to get sober and you're not willing to help him get sober. Figure out what your boundaries are and don't waver on them.
/r/RedPillWomen03/04/25 02:23 AM
3

I'm not going to jump on the divorce train immediately, as this seems salvageable if both of you are willing to rebuild. Have you considered counselling, a pastor or someone similar you can talk to with your husband? How does your husband react when you tell him how important it is for you to feel sexually fulfilled? It is possible he doesn't clock how important sex is for you. Have you explained what it's like for you without attacking him? Is he willing to try to regain his sexual desire? I'm …
/r/RedPillWomen19/03/25 09:02 AM
3

Maybe the area you're in isn't right for you. Are you set on living where you are?
/r/RedPillWomen05/03/25 09:06 PM
2

The main issue is that you don't trust your boyfriend. You have no idea if the words he's saying to you are true, and unless something changes, you'll find yourself constantly questioning what he says to you. If you want to save this relationship you'll both need to put in a lot of work.
/r/RedPillWomen04/03/25 12:57 AM
1

Try to make real friends. Online friends are a substitute, and sometimes stop you from going out and finding real life friends. People you want to hang out with: 1. Aren't stuck in destructive stories (Saying things like all men are trash, women with high body counts will never find a good partner, getting angry at society or politics in general) 2. Want the best for you. When you tell them about your successes, do they build you up or try to take you down? 3. Have good habits around personal fi…
/r/RedPillWomen12/02/24 05:53 AM
1

Exercise and eat healthy food, that's #1 for my mental health. Do you have good friends to talk to? Do you know if you can tell who's a good friend and who isn't?
/r/RedPillWomen11/02/24 10:06 PM
7

I don't know the answer, but I feel like you are in desperate need of therapy and a good self care routine
/r/RedPillWomen11/02/24 11:33 AM
24

You said you don't know what's normal anymore. Do you have any more examples of things you're not sure are normal?
/r/RedPillWomen10/01/24 10:49 AM
1

Definitely sounds like therapy could be really helpful for you. Is it something you're considering?
/r/RedPillWomen28/11/23 06:04 AM
3

Sounds like you should work on boundaries and communication. Do you have a friend, therapist or trusted love one you can do this with? Also, it sounds like you're sleeping with guys before you want to. Is alcohol involved here by any chance?
/r/RedPillWomen26/11/23 05:19 AM
14

One direct ask he seems to be making is for you you encourage him to keep going when he's tired. Would you want to do that?
/r/RedPillWomen20/08/23 10:00 PM
7

If he hits you at all, even a slap, it is abuse. I'm sorry your family went through that, but it doesn't make it OK. You need to find somewhere safe to go, and reflect on this when you're out of this situation.
/r/RedPillWomen16/07/23 12:22 AM
–

It's very difficult to tell what's going on based on a post. There's a good chance that she's just got a flirtatious personality and it is completely a 'her' issue. That being said, this could be a situation where he's exerting excessive control. I didn't say to break it off with him, I said that if he begins to ostracize her from friends and family, for example, she should think about her options.
/r/RedPillWomen09/07/23 02:15 AM
1

It's not easy to understand the situation, as we are not there with you. That being said, this is raising flags for abuse. I can imagine him restricting who you can and cannot see because he can't trust you, for instance. While RPW is all about letting your captain lead, some are not responsible with that power and should not be your captain. If he is: -Stopping you (or discouraging you) from seeing friends and family -Controlling your Internet browsing and information consumption -Using guilt t…
/r/RedPillWomen05/07/23 04:09 AM
9

You need to listen to your intuition, not some strangers on the internet telling you to second guess yourself. If you don't have feelings for him, don't do it. Compromise will be necessary. There's almost no chance your ideal man will check every little box. Maybe he earns a little less than you'd like, or maybe he's a bit chubbier or not as tall as you'd hoped for. Do not compromise with your feelings. If you don't feel chemistry or romance, let him find someone who feels that for him.
/r/RedPillWomen04/07/23 06:37 AM
24

The world isn't black and white. No matter what the Internet says, there are plenty of guys who will love and cherish you even if you've slept with a lot of people in the past. Stop obsessing over things you can't change. It does nothing but hurt you. Focus on improving yourself. Exercise, read books, make new friends, go to therapy. These will help you find a great man.
/r/RedPillWomen25/06/23 06:40 PM
4

Listen to your intuition, not the voice in your head that wants to get married young etc. If you have a hard time hearing your intuition, listen yo your friends. They seem like they have your back.
/r/RedPillWomen29/03/23 10:05 PM
5

Is he good to you? Do you respect him? Is he father and husband material?
/r/RedPillWomen10/03/23 06:29 AM
9

This was an abusive relationship. I'm glad you left, but women who have just left abusive relationships are more likely to enter into abusive relationships in the future. You need to figure out how to avoid that. Redpill women is about finding a medium on a spectrum. On one side of the spectrum, people need to become more submissive. On the other side, people need to learn to have boundaries and vet. You don't sound like you need to be more submissive. You sound like you need to stop ignoring yo…
/r/RedPillWomen08/03/23 01:45 AM
1

Sounds like you're doing really well with therapy, weight loss and solid financial moves. It might seem like you're stuck, but to me it sounds like you're working towards your future. I don't know how to help you with jobs or travel, but it sounds like making friends would be a nice move forward. Now may be a good time to pursue a sport or hobby which allows you to meet others. Does this sound right for you?
/r/RedPillWomen05/03/23 02:05 PM
8

To balance this opinion out, I would say that dating is a numbers game. You often have to meet a lot of people before finding one who's right. I don't see anything wrong with speed dating.
/r/RedPillWomen15/02/23 11:54 PM
7

Forgetting birthdays isn't a huge deal, but not being interested in you is a huge deal, in my opinion. Marriage lasts a long time. I'd prefer to get married to someone who wants to hear about my interests and thoughts.
/r/RedPillWomen26/01/23 10:35 AM
1

If I understand correctly, you want to get back with him, but only if he marries you. Are you talking about immediate marriage with no dating or vetting?
/r/RedPillWomen18/01/23 05:34 AM
6

I wonder if you could ask him more about why he's not applying for more jobs. Not in a nagging way, obviously. Just try to get to the bottom of how he's feeling. Is he scared of the unknown? Will he miss his co workers? See if you can be curious and set you other motivations to the side. Does that sound like the sort of thing that might suit?
/r/RedPillWomen22/12/22 11:42 AM
4

Has he always felt like this towards you? Or has he lost the spark over time. I also wonder how his mental health is.
/r/RedPillWives01/12/22 11:40 AM
3

This is generally great advice. I personally don't think this is quite the right advice for her, but I bet a lot of people need to hear it.
/r/RedPillWives01/12/22 11:38 AM
-3

Is he willing to participate in therapy? This sounds like he might have some trauma he hasn't dealt with.
/r/RedPillWomen11/09/22 11:31 PM
3

Is there a chance there's another reason for their reaction? Perhaps don't like your partner? Or don't think you two are a good match?
/r/RedPillWomen15/08/22 11:46 PM
6

Great! Listen to those feelings. My intuition has helped me more times than I can count, and gotten me out of many bad situations. Sometimes something as tiny as a facial expression or body movement can make me decide not to be around a person. Society has taught women to be gentle and kind, and follow social norms, to the extent where many of us will push our feelings down. I've found that it's far more important to listen to my feelings, even if it means being perceived as rude.
/r/RedPillWomen23/07/22 12:18 AM
5

How do you feel about what he said to you about fitness? When I ask myself these sorts of question, I try to keep it only about feelings: Joy, anger, sadness, curiosity etc.
/r/RedPillWomen22/07/22 08:20 PM
10

What does your intuition say about this guy?
/r/RedPillWomen22/07/22 07:27 PM
24

You may want to look into why you're feeling anxious and avoiding your job.
/r/RedPillWomen15/07/22 10:02 PM
11

I'm grateful we have such excellent moderators. You really go above and beyond to create a wonderful culture for us. This space has a very specific feminine presence. I have noticed recently that a lot of men are giving advice which comes off as harsh and out of touch with the environment. There are plenty of places people can go to receive harsh treatment, but the lovely thing about this subreddit is how welcoming we can be of vulnerability. It would be a shame to ban all men. I've read some re…
/r/RedPillWomen31/05/22 10:13 PM
3

Let him know how you feel. Think emotions: Frustration, sadness, overwhelm. Let him handle the rest. For example: 'Hey honey, I'm feeling really overwhelmed right now. Work is really stressful and when I come home I feel even more stressed because the house is a mess.' The key here is owning your emotions. Express as much as you want, but don't blame him or tell him what to do. Chances are, he'll see how you're feeling and want to help you feel better.
/r/RedPillWomen22/05/22 01:05 AM
2

This is just my opinion, so do with it what you will: If you've ever lucid dreamed, you'll notice that your thoughts and actions are one and the same. You'll be flying, and then you'll think "Wait, I can't fly!", then you immediately fall. I think our brains work like this all the time. If you tell yourself that you're ugly, you give out 'Keep away from me' vibes. You tell other people, unconsciously, that you're not good enough. Same with saying there's no good men around. If you do that, you'r…
/r/RedPillWomen02/04/22 12:29 AM
3

What's most important here is your own self love. Self love radiates from a person and makes everyone naturally more attracted to that them. If you love yourself, you'll naturally feel the need to care for yourself. What is your current self care practice? To me, self care means doing something that is enjoyable and beneficial to me. It could be going for a walk, taking bath, reading a book, journalling etc. Therapy can also be a really great way to learn to embrace yourself and radiate positivi…
/r/RedPillWomen14/02/22 01:30 AM
24

Honestly, the dropping out and quitting I could excuse as a rough patch, but telling you he could get other women? Absolutely not. He's not committed to you if he's threatening to leave and is fine with being FWB. This is blatant manipulation. I'm not saying you need to leave him, but I am saying you need strong boundaries.
/r/RedPillWomen07/02/22 10:27 PM
-2

Did you thank him and make a big deal out of getting a gift? It might be nice to really show him how happy it makes you. Not saying you did, but try not to receive a gift and be resentful of the fact that it's late. This just punishes him for doing the right thing.
/r/RedPillWomen15/01/22 10:02 PM
5

Comedy is so subjective too. Imagine if he chose and you hated the comic! But yeah, I agree. This might be an indication of things to come.
/r/RedPillWomen14/01/22 09:47 AM
1

I haven't heard of this one! I adored Little Women.
/r/RedPillWomen13/01/22 07:22 AM
7

Crime and Punishment is a page turner. There's a great female character in it but she's kind of a side character.
/r/RedPillWomen07/01/22 05:08 AM
56

Edit: I just wanted to say how commendable it is that you're not willing to lie. It's one of the main pillars of a good relationship (romantic, platonic or otherwise). It seems like you're headed in the right direction. There are plenty of quality men out there who accept you for who you are. Learn to unburden yourself of guilt and shame. These emotions are here to help you learn, but it's important to thank them and let them go once they've served their purpose. If I were you, I'd be doing a lo…
/r/RedPillWomen23/11/21 12:21 AM
21

Somehow this sub has largely managed to avoid toxicity. It's almost a modern day miracle.
/r/RedPillWomen24/09/21 05:45 AM
4

That's very kind of you to say. I actually have to give credit for this advice to my boyfriend. He's a meditation teacher and has taught me some really wonderful mental habits. I'm very fortunate. I wish you all the best!
/r/RedPillWomen21/07/21 06:41 AM
13

Invite the thoughts to come and have a seat. Greet them with curiosity and compassion. They're trying to help you, even if they're a little misguided. Where are they coming from? Are they from a place of trauma? The thoughts could be due to any number of things in this case: they could be making you distance yourself so you don't get hurt. Maybe you have a habit of criticizing everything because of a perfectionist mindset. These are just examples, there's lots of other reasons they could be happ…
/r/RedPillWomen20/07/21 01:23 PM
1

Can you live with being the one who cleans all the time?
/r/RedPillWomen12/07/21 04:21 AM
4

Keep self improving every day. Read books, exercise, learn skills you're interested in learning. Positivity attracts positivity.
/r/RedPillWomen02/07/21 01:56 AM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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